#25 – Screwed Over

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Rude: “Well………that was…..horrible.”

Originally Published: 8/9/00 . 12 pages

Synopsis
The guys make a bet to see who can keep themselves from…well, it’s a sensitive area. Who will be able to control themselves the longest?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

At time when I originally wrote this ramble I thought the subject matter was too hardcore for the rambles (little did I know what would come later…) so I almost didn’t write it. I was, of course, inspired by the Seinfeld episode called “The Contest”, which deals with the same theme. I shared my idea with some friends, and they convinced me to write it. While I don’t think this is one of the best rambles, it has a few interesting moments. In reading this ramble back I actually cracked up at the Rude line above. Based on the situation he was in when he said it, it was such a “Rude” thing to say. I do find it interesting that I had Reno and Irvine as the last two in the contest, with Irvine ultimately winning. I think you assume he was going out at night and having sex with other girls, which is why he was able to refrain from it without a problem.

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#24 – Final Fairy Tales

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Prince Rufus: “And is this *Ward* a reliable source?”

Originally Published: 8/8/00 . 29 pages

Synopsis
The ramble girls get sucked into a book that puts them all in fairy tales! Featuring the “ramble-ized” tales of: Sleeping Beauty, Rumpelstiltskin, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, The Princess and the Pea, and Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Ramble Milestones
-First parody.

I’ve always really liked this ramble – must be why I wrote two sequels. According to the original notes at the beginning of the ramble: Oh, and most of these stories have been loosely based on the Disney movies made after them, not the real stories, cause I either didn’t know them to begin with, or didn’t remember them. And, as added information, I wrote this ramble in one sitting! Look at it’s length! Took me 4 1/2 hours! This is noteworthy because I don’t write too many rambles in one day, especially not in 4 1/2 straight hours. Anyway, Sleeping Beauty is one of my favorite stories, and Aurora is one of my favorite Disney princesses, hence why I made Lark the princess in that story.

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#23 – There are no Gundams in Baseball!

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Twilight: “I have got kick ass aim!”
Originally Published: 8/6/00 . 37 pages
Synopsis
Now it’s Final Fantasy versus Gundam Wing playing America’s favorite pastime.

Ramble Milestones
-Other characters from Gundam Wing, including Noin, Sally Po and Lady Une make appearances. They are never seen again after this ramble.

I like this baseball one a little better than the previous installment, even though there were several jokes reused from the previous ramble. There are a few little moments in this ramble I really like: Twilight’s kick ass aim, and when he shoves Wufei aside, Rufus trying to get Elena back by pointing out that Tseng’s gay, and Quatre’s triumphant homerun – with Noelle spouting all the ‘beautifuls’ for a change. The original beginning notes on this ramble stated: This is *really* long again! Sorry for the length, and I’m also sorry for so many crossover and Twilight rambles in a row! The next one won’t have any non FF people in them! Promise! The ending of the ramble also is strange, alluding to the length of it AND how long it took to write. Considering this ramble was only 37 pages…looking back it seems really silly to complain, considering some later rambles were 90, or even over 100 pages!

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#22 – There’s No Pegging In Baseball!

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Shell: “Stupid always changing rules.”

Originally Published: 8/1/00 . 33 pages

Synopsis
It’s Lark’s team versus Shell’s team in a baseball game for the ages! Rules are made to be broken…right?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I think this ramble is cute, and it definitely has some classic stuff – the ever changing rule book for one, and the sudden appearance of Odin is another. I can’t go as far as saying that this ramble is one of the best early rambles, but I would say it’s one of the better ones.

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#21 – A Party For All, Courtesy of Rufus Shinra

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Hojo: “Why I am Sephiroth, you inferior being! I will become one with the planet! Muhaha, yes, so on and so forth with the evil laughter. Can I come in?”

Originally Published: 7/25/00 . 19 pages

Synopsis
Rufus is throwing a party at the ramble room – well, it’s at his expense, anyway. Can the Gundam Wing guys and the Final Fantasy guys get along? And will Laguna prove to be a capable door guard?

Ramble Milestones
-Sephiroth refers to Vincent as “my Vincent”; Vincent calls Sephiroth “my angel.”
-Opal’s first appearance.
-Rude is good at dancing.
-Tseng wonders if Reeve would dance with him.
-Lark and Zell break up.

A lot of firsts in this ramble! Honestly, I am not a big fan of this ramble – it ranks somewhere near the bottom on my list – but this ramble introduces a lot of stuff (mostly yaoi related!). There are a few chuckles in here as well. I enjoy when the losers come in dressed as the other characters. All in all though, this is another senseless party ramble without a plot. But at least in the grand scheme of things, it did do something. Oh, and I love how outdated my music choices are now.

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#20 – Nida’s Night Out

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Nida: “Shut up, bitch! You’re a drunken whore!”

Originally Published: 7/24/00 . 16 pages

Synopsis
Nida is thrilled when Scarlet agrees to go out with him. Meanwhile, Lark and Zell run into the not so happy couple – but little do they know they’re being watched!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

The first star worthy ramble, and there are three things about this ramble that make it classic worthy: Nida and Scarlet’s not-so-romantic dialouge, drunk Sephiroth, and, of course, Heidegger playing the violin. We never see him playing it again. He probably sat on it and crushed it to bits at one point.

There are several classic lines from this ramble as well, including Sephiroth’s drunken “I just wanna become one with the planet, man” and Nida’s line which I used as the quote to represent this ramble. He’s such a sweet talker.

Nida’s first date with Scarlet didn’t really end well, but it was the beginning of a long time crush he had for years to come.

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#19 – Sephy the Stalker

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Zell: “How would you like to be stalked? He’s a weird one! He could come out of the ceiling or something!”

Originally Published: 7/19/00 . 13 pages

Synopsis
When Lark and Zell start dating, a certain someone doesn’t take it well…

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I’ve always really liked Zell, probably why I decied to have Lark date him in the rambles. Having said that, this ramble is pretty blah. I enjoy bodyguard Seifer running for the hills when threatened by Sephiroth, however.

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#18 – And The Award Goes To…

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Heero: “He still claims they made a mistake when the mailed out the letters.”

Originally Published: 7/17/00 . 31 pages

Synopsis
It’s time for the annual anime awards! Who will come home a winner?

Ramble Milestones
-First appearance of Zechs and Treize.
-First use of yaoi.

This is the first and only ramble revolving around the “annual” anime awards. This ramble is pretty much one big fangirl fantasy. I don’t really like this ramble very much, but that really has nothing to do with why I never decided to do the anime awards again. Honestly writing that over and over again would get pretty boring. So maybe we can assume they just stopped doing the anime awards after this, or no one from Final Fantasy ever got nominated again.

Up to this point, this ramble had far and away the most sexual content. There was innuendo flying left and right in this ramble, from Zechs and Treize’s ‘private party’ to Lark’s dress, to Sephiroth’s sexuality, not to mention Rude, Reno and Shell at the end there. Shell was not too happy with me about that ending! Anyway, up to this point I had tried to keep any yaoi out of the rambles – that was why I kept Zechs and Treize out of them until this point. Clearly, though, I lost that battle. And I lost it badly. Oh well!

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#17 – It’s All About Zell

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Seifer: “That’s right. Nobody’s dropping out! Anyone who drops out gets their name in the club title too!”

Originally Published: 7/15/00 . 15 pages

Synopsis
Seifer starts a We Hate Zell Club! Can Lark get the club to disband?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I actually rather like this one,although I think Seifer is probably the smartest he’s ever been or ever will be in this ramble. I’ve never been the biggest fan of Seifer, which probably shows in the way I portray him – as a pretty much a brainless, cowardly bully. Anyway, even though this may be another one of those simple rambles, it manages to be pretty amusing from start to finish. I enjoy Rufus getting caught in the laminating machine.

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#16 – It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To!

Posted on April 16, 2011 by L.J.
Lark: “I feel horrible! I mean, I know Sephiroth wasn’t exactly Mr. Popularity, but he’s almost on Nida’s level here!”

Originally Published: 7/13/00 . 15 pages

Synopsis
It’s Sephiroth’s birthday, and Lark wants to celebrate it! But will anyone else?

Ramble Milestones
-Sephiroth’s tree makes it’s first appearance.
-We find out Rude can do calligraphy.

For an early ramble, it’s not a bad one. This is really the only ramble focusing on the birthday of one of the video game characters. I didn’t continue doing birthday rambles because with so many characters I would constantly be doing them and that would get super boring really fast. But, according to me anyway, it seems Sephiroth’s birthday is July thirteenth. That makes his sign Cancer.

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