#16 – It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To!

Lark: “I feel horrible! I mean, I know Sephiroth wasn’t exactly Mr. Popularity, but he’s almost on Nida’s level here!”

Originally Published: 7/13/00 . 15 pages

It’s Sephiroth’s birthday, and Lark wants to celebrate it! But will anyone else?

Ramble Milestones
-Sephiroth’s tree makes it’s first appearance.
-We find out Rude can do calligraphy.

For an early ramble, it’s not a bad one. This is really the only ramble focusing on the birthday of one of the video game characters. I didn’t continue doing birthday rambles because with so many characters I would constantly be doing them and that would get super boring really fast. But, according to me anyway, it seems Sephiroth’s birthday is July thirteenth. That makes his sign Cancer.

(Lark and Irvine are hanging out by the open door of the ramble room)

Lark: *sighs* “I’m bored.”

Irvine: *grins devilishly* “I think I know what you need!” *starts to tickle her*

Lark: *screams* “Ah, Irvine! Stop it!” *laughs*

(sephiroth mopes by, slumped over, masamune in hand, hanging his head. he doesn’t even look up as he passes)

Lark: *stops laughing* “What’s with him?” *frowns*

Irvine: “He probably lost his favorite jar of hair gel or something.” *shrugs* “Who cares?”

Lark: “I do….I wanna know what’s wrong with him…”

Hojo: *pops out of nowhere* “I know why he looks down!”

Lark: *screams and hides behind irvine* “What?”

Hojo: *laughs* “Tomorrow is his birthday, and nobody cares!”

Lark: *jaw drops* “It’s his birthday!? I had no idea!”

Irvine: *thinks* “You’re right. No one does care.”

Lark: *hits irvine* “That’s not nice, Irvy! Poor Sephiroth.” *thinks* “I know! I’ll throw him a party!”

Hojo: “Can I come?”

Lark: “No.”

Hojo: “But he’s my son!”

Lark: “No way. Now get out of here, ya old quack!”

Hojo: “Make me.”

Irvine: *holds up his gun to hojo’s face* “Fine.”

Hojo: *squeaks* “It worked.” *runs off*

Lark: *walking into the room and rattling off ideas as they come to her* “I’ll invite everyone, except Katie and Lizzie. I don’t think Sephy’ll like getting stalked on his birthday….”

Irvine: *calmly* “Lark.”

Lark: *pacing* “I’ll have to get black decorations of course…”

Irvine: *a little more urgent* “Lark.”

Lark: “I wonder what kind of cake he likes….”

Irvine: *urgently* “Lark!”

Lark: *snaps to attention* “Huh? Oh. What’s up, hon?”

Irvine: “No one will come, Lark. Everyone either hates Sephiroth or is scared of him.”

Lark: “That’s not true! Everyone will come!”

Irvine: *nervously* “I don’t know….”

Lark: *gives him a look* “Promise me you’ll come, Irvine.”

Irvine: *looks away* “Uh….”

Lark: “*Irvine*.”

Irvine: *sighs* “Okay. I promise.”

Lark: *claps her hands together* “Great! This is going to be fun! Sephy is going to be so happy!”

(the next day. the ramble room had been beautifully decorated with black decorations and there’s a cake on the table. unfortunately, the only people there are lark, shell, irvine and twilight)

Twilight: “This party sucks! Where’s Sephiroth?”

Shell: “Where is everyone, Lark?”

Lark: *sighs unhappily* “This *is* everyone. All the other people I invited refused to come!”

Irvine: “Told ya.”

Lark: “I feel horrible! I mean, I know Sephiroth wasn’t exactly Mr. Popularity, but he’s almost on Nida’s level here!”

Irvine: *shudders* “You almost make me feel bad for him.”

Twilight: “The cool people are always unpopular.”

Shell: *laughs* “Yeah, that’s right, Twilight. How many people were at your birthday party again? Three?”

Twilight: “Shut up! I didn’t want a lot of people!”

(they suddenly hear voices from outside)

Lizzie’s voice: “Happy birthday, Sephiroth!”

Katie’s voice: “I baked you some cupcakes!”

Sephiroth: “AHHHHH!” *opens the door and slips in, and quickly slams it shut behind him. he then leans against it, panting*

Lark: “Surprise! Happy birthday, Sephy!” *comes over and kisses him on the cheek*

Sephiroth: *blushes* “Thanks….” *looks around* “This is my party? Where is everyone?”

Twilight: “They didn’t–“

Shell: *claps a hand over twilight’s mouth. sweat drops* “Eh heh…” *innocent smile*

Lark: *nervous laughter* “What Twilight meant to say is that we planned this last minute, so everyone was already busy.”

Sephiroth: *not convinced* “Oh?” *spots irvine* “Kinneas?” *laughs* “Never thought you’d show up!”

Irvine: “Yeah, well…”

(knocks at the door)

Lark: “I’ll get it.” *looks through the peep hole, then opens the door and pokes her head out* “Katie, Lizzie, I’m sorry, but you guys can’t come in.”

Lizzie: “But we love him!”

Katie: “And we have cupcakes!”

Sephiroth: “Tell them I’m not here! That I went to go summon meteor or something!”

Lark: “They can hear you, Sephy!”

Sephiroth: “Dammit!”

Katie: “Hi, Sephy!!”

Sephiroth: “Eep!”

Lark: “Sorry, girls. I’ll let you see the pictures.” *shuts door*

Twilight: “So how old are you anyway, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: “That information is classified.”

Twilight: “Can I guess?”

Sephiroth: “No.”

Twilight: “Can I use the Force?”

Sephiroth: “No.”

Twilight: “Fine. Then I’m assuming you’re old.”

(knock at the door)

Lark: *sighs as she heads over* “How many times do I have to tell them no?” *opens door to reveal hojo, scarlet, nida and heidegger* “AHH!”

Hojo: “Hi! Can we come to the party? I brought seaweed and crab juice!”

Lark: “Ew! No way! Party’s full.”

Nida: “We know no one’s in there.”

Scarlet: “Yeah. We heard everyone talking about how they wouldn’t be caught dead at Sephiroth’s birthday party!”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! We don’t care!”

Lark: *turns to look at sephy* “It’s not true!”

Hojo: “Yes, it is! Everyone hates him!”

Sephiroth: “I…I….” *chin trembles eyes fill with tears*

Hojo: “Oh no! Did he hear that?”

Sephiroth: “It’s true!” *runs out crying*

Nida: *pushes hojo* “You idiot! You scared away the guest of honor! Now there’s no more party!”

Scarlet: “You’ve ruined our chance!”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Crap!”

Hojo: *shrugs* “More crab juice for us!”

Lark: *really mad* “You insensitive jerks! You made poor Sephiroth cry–on his birthday! Now get out of here, before I summon meteor myself!”

Hojo’s group: *blinks*

Scarlet: “Geez, and they call me a bitch!”

Nida: “Come on, guys. Let’s go play tiddly winks.”

Scarlet: *sighs* “*Again*?”

(they all leave. lark slams the door shut and bursts into tears)

Irvine: “Don’t cry, Lark!” *hugs her*

Lark: “I feel horrible! I ruined Sephiroth’s birthday!”

Twilight: “Nah. You didn’t make us wear those dumb party hats. *Then* it would have been ruined.”

Shell: *glares at twilight* “Twilight!”

Twilight: “What! I’m trying to make her feel better!”

Shell: “Well you’re doing a crappy job!”

Lark: *sobs into irvine’s shoulder* “Poor Sephiroth!”

Irvine: *pats her on the back* “It’s okay, Lark. We’ll find Sephiroth and fix everything.”

Lark: *looks up* “You guys will help me?”

(they all nod)

Twilight: “Yeah! And then we’ll kill all the people who didn’t come to the party!”

Shell: “No, Twilight–“

Twilight: *moans* “Ooh….”

Shell: “–we’ll hurt them badly.” *smiles*

Twilight: *grins* “I’ll take it!”

Lark: “Yeah! If you seen anyone who didn’t come, make sure you make them pay! But nothing too bad. Just enough to make them wish they came!”

Irvine: “Let’s split up.”

Lark: “Good idea, Irvine. Twilight, go right down the hall. Shell, left. Irvine, you go straight, and I’ll go outside.”

(they split up and head off)

Twilight: *goes down the hall to the right* “Hmmm….I should plan ahead how I’m going to torture these foolish mortals…” *thinks*

(zell, squall, seifer, and rinoa are hanging out at the end of the hall)

Zell: “Hey, everybody! It’s Twily!”

Twilight: *growls* “Why didn’t you losers come to Sephiroth’s party?”

Seifer: “Cause he’s a moron!”

Zell: “Yeah! He’s a jerk! Why would I go?”

Rinoa: “I was going to go, but Zell said I couldn’t.”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Twilight: “Well, you guys have to pay now.”

Zell: “For what? We didn’t buy anything!”

Twilight: *gives zell a strange look* “That’s too dumb a question for me to answer.” *he closes his eyes, concentrates, and the 4 of them levitate up in the air*

Seifer: “Hey! Who cast the float spell??”

Twilight: “Bye bye, losers!” *makes a hand gesture and the four of them go flying out the door*

Rinoa: “Ah!! Squall! Do something!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

(they’re gone)

Twilight: *grins and rubs his hands together* “That was too much fun.”

(Meanwhile…Irvine went straight down the hall)

Irvine: *calls* “Sephiroth?” *sighs* “I feel like I’m looking for a stray pony.”

(he spots reno, rufus, reeve, and rude)

Irvine: “Hey! Why weren’t you guys at Sephiroth’s birthday party!?”

Reno: *snorts* “Why do you think?”

Rufus: “Why should we go to his birthday party when he’s so mean to us all the time?”

Reeve: “I’m not too thrilled with him either.”

Rude: *shrugs*

Irvine: “Well Lark was really upset that no one showed up.”

Reno: “You’re just sayin’ that.”

Irvine: “I’m serious. She was *crying*.”

Rufus: *jaw drops* “Really?”

Reno: *gives irvine a look* “Are you serious?”

Reeve: *concerned* “I told you we should have gone.”

Rufus: “I feel kinda bad now…”

Irvine: “You should! And you should feel bad for Sephiroth too! How would you like it if no one came to your party??”

Reeve: “Maybe we should make it up to her.”

Rufus: “Yeah.”

Reno: *groans* “Ooh! That sounds like work!”

Rufus: “Come on, Reno.” *they all go to leave*

Irvine: “You guys better make it *really* good!”

(they’re gone)

Irvine: “Heh heh. I like this….”

(shell had gone left down the hallway. she sees cloud, looking confused)

Shell: “Hey, Cloud. How come you didn’t come to Sephiroth’s party?”

Cloud: “Huh? Can you paint my nails?”

Shell: *shakes her head* “I should have known better.” *continues down the hall*

(barret, and cid are hanging out at the end of the hall with poor red on a leash)

Barret: *in red’s face* “Did the puppy like it’s walk?

Red: *glares* “I continue you find you thoroughly annoying.”

Cid: “@#$%!”

Shell: “Hey! Why weren’t you guys at Sephiroth’s party?!”

Red: *gestures to the leash* “Well, duh.”

Shell: “I’m not talking about you! I’m talking about these rejects!”

Barret: “Yo, woman! Do go callin’ me a reject jist cause I hate that dumb ass freak!”

Cid: “@#$%^&*&!”

Shell: “Yeah, @#$%^&*& is right! You guys are in big trouble!”

Barret: “Come on, it’s not like we were the only ones who didn’t show!”

Shell: “You’re not the only ones who are in big trouble either! Now drop that cat/dog and get in line!”

Cid: “@#$%!”

Shell: “From this time on there will be no cursing!”

Barret: “Shell–“

Shell: “Don’t call me that!”

Barret: “Yo! Then what da hell are we supposed to call ya?”

Shell: *eyes narrow* “Your worst nightmare*

Barret and Cid: “@#%^! Ack!” *drop red and get in line*

Shell: “Tee hee! Thanks!” *gruff voice* “Now march! Hup 2, 3, 4!” *follows the two men as they march back down the hall*

Red: *happily* “I’m free! I’m free!” *starts happily running around in circles* “I’m free! I’m free! I’m free!” *stops* “Uh…now I’m dizzy….” *passes out*

(lark had gone outside)


(vincent comes up to her, carrying a wrapped box)

Vincent: “Why are you looking for Sephiroth?”

Lark: “Cause he ran away after no one came to his party!” *glares at vincent* “Speaking of which, where were you? I mean, you don’t hate him!”

Vincent: *mumbles* “Especially not according to your story…” *clears his throat* “No, actually, I was delayed because I had to pick up his gift. I did plan to attend.”

Lark: “Yeah! Now I know why I love you, Vincent!” *hugs vincent*

Vincent: “Mmmm…yes. Now, do you wish for me to help you find him?”

Lark: *steps away from vincent* “No thanks, hon. You go in the ramble room and wait. We’ll throw Sephiroth a fun party if it kills me!”

Vincent: “Um…okay.” *goes inside*

Lark: *off looking again* “SEPHHHHHHHHIRRRRRROTHHHHHHHHHH?” *she hears crying coming from a tree* “Huh?” *looks up* “Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: *sitting in the tree branches, dabbing at his eyes* “No…it’s just a messed up owl.”

Lark: *tries to climb the tree* “Sephiroth! I know that’s you!” *slips*

Sephiroth: *grabs her hand and pulls her up next to him* “Why did you come?”

Lark: “Why did I come?! Because I feel horrible, you big idiot!” *pause* “Whoops. Sorry.” *sighs* “I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.”

Sephiroth: “You didn’t ruin it……” *sighs sadly*

Lark: “Yes I did. If I had never had that party, you would have never known…how…how…”

Sephiroth: “How much everyone hates me?”

Lark: *looks away* “Yeah….”

Sephiroth: *puts a hand on her shoulder* “Lark, it’s okay. I know that…it just hurts…I always think that on my birthday….maybe everyone can forget….for awhile….” *frowns*

Lark: *takes sephy’s hand and squeezes it* “Well me, Irvine, Shell, Twilight and Vincent are there for you, Sephy. Vincent meant to come, but he was late cause he was getting your present.”

Sephiroth: *squeezes her hand back and looks into her eyes* “Lark….uh….I really….uh…appreciate it…”

Lark: “It was nothing….” *smiles* “Now, want do you want for your birthday? You can have anything you want!”

Sephiroth: *thinks* devil side: >censored< angel side: Uh…I don’t think she meant that. devil side: Dammit! *says* “Anything?”

Lark: “Within reason.”

Sephiroth: “Hmmmm….” *looks embarrassed* “I don’t know….”

Lark: “What? What is it?”

Sephiroth: “Uh…never mind. I don’t need anything. I’m happy.” *kisses lark on the lips really fast and jumps out of the tree*

Lark: *mouth hangs open* “Uh….”

Sephiroth: *looks up at her from the ground* “You coming or not?”

Lark: “Huh?” *snaps out of daze* “Yeah!” *goes to get out of the tree, but trips and falls out of the tree*

Sephiroth: *catches her* “That was close.”

Lark: “Thanks, hon. You can put me down now.” *sephiroth starts running inside, still holding lark* “Sephiroth!!!”

(irvine, twilight, shell and vincent are all in the ramble room. shell has cid and barret in party hats with the noise blowers, making a banner that says we love you Sephiroth! irvine watches as rufus, reeve, reno and rude make both sephiroth and lark cards, by hand. vincent’s arranging the 5 gifts on the table, and twilight’s stretched out on the couch)

Shell: “I said color it BLACK you fools! Sephiroth likes BLACK!”

Barret: *makes a grab for a black marker* “All right, all right!! Don’t flip out!”

Shell: “Hey, Twilight, didn’t you run into anyone on your search?”

Twilight: “Yup.”

Shell: “Well…where are they?”

Twilight: “Don’t worry. They’re suffering.”

(shot to rinoa, squall, zell and seifer on the roof. squall, zell and seifer all have no shirts on and they’re all hot and sweaty)

Zell: “Damn, it’s hot out here!”

Seifer: “That stupid stick kid! Just wait till we get off the roof!”

Squall: “Hot…..”

Rinoa: *sits a little off staring at the guys* “Hehe.”

Zell: “Yo, how you doin’, Rinoa?”

Rinoa: *admires the hot guys with no shirts* “I’m doing *just* fine, guys.”

(back to the ramble room)

Twilight: “Heh heh heh….”

(sephy comes in, carrying lark)

Irvine: “Where have *you* two been?”

Sephiroth: *puts lark down and mutters* “I wish….”

Lark: “I found him!”

Shell: *kicks barret and cid* “Hold up the sign!”

Barret: “Stupid @#$%.” *he and cid hold up the sign*

Sephiroth: *smiles* “I know you really don’t but thanks anyway.”

(rufus and reno shove reeve forward)

Reeve: *whispers* “Why me?!”

Rufus: “She won’t hit you!”

Reno: “We’re just trying to protect ourselves!” *shove reeve up to lark and sephy*

Reeve: “Uh….this is for you,” *gives a card to sephy* “And this is for you.” *gives a card to lark*

Rufus: “I drew the pictures!”

Lark: *looks at the bunnies and flowers on the cover* “Very nice, Rufus.”

Sephiroth: *looks at the bats and bloody carcasses on his* “Yeah…I guess.”

Lark: *opens up the card* “Wow! Who did this beautiful calligraphy?”

Rude: “….me.”

Lark: “Wow, Rude! Is there anything you can’t do?” *smiles at the guys* “Thanks you guys. You’re forgiven.” *kisses each of them on the cheek*

Rufus: *blushes* “You’re welcome.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah…..thanks……guys…..I really…..” *cough* “Mean it.”

Guys: *don’t look at him* “You’re welcome.”

Irvine: “See, Lark? This day didn’t turn out so bad after all!”

Lark: *smiles* “I guess not.”

Barret: *cringes away from shell as he looks at her timidly* “I’m scared of her!”

Cid: “……..me too…..”

Shell: “I hear you!”

Barret and Cid: “Eep!”

Lark: *waves rufus and reno to come close to her and whispers* “You guys….Sephiroth kissed me before…do you have any idea what that means?”

Reno and Rufus: *look at each, then smile at lark* “We have no idea.”


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