Final Fantasy 12 Days of Christmas

There are three different versions of the song featured here. The first two were written in the early 00’s, while the last one was for sure written in 2008.

1st Version 

(2000?)

Vincent: *clears throat and sings* “On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: an angel on a fur tree.”

Sephiroth: “What?! What kind of present is that!”

Lark: “It’s not your turn! Shush!”

Zidane: *sings* “On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: two monkey tails”

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel on a fur tree.”

Lark: *grins at zidane* “Is one of the tails attached to you?” *wink*

Zidane: “If you want it to be, baby.” *grins*

Sephiroth: “All right! People are singing here!”

Seifer: *sings* “On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings*”Two monkey tails.”

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Barret: *sings* “Yo! On the Fourth day o’ Christmas my true love give to me! Four dumb emus–“

Red: “Oh good g-d.”

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Reeve: “That was mean to Red. Didn’t you check this song first, Lark?”

Lark: *staring at zidane–absently* “Huh?”

Reeve: “Nevermind.”

Irvine and Reno: *grins* “On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: FIVE GOREGOUS CHICKS!” *high five*

Sephiroth: “Give me a break.”

Barret:  *sings* “Four dumb emus–“

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Sephiroth: “Lark, they’re so predictable it’s boring.”

Kuja: *sings* “On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Sixs pics of me!” *grins*

Zidane: “Ack! How did you get in here!”

Lark: “Out out out!!” *pushes kuja out the door*

Kuja: “But I’m so pretty!”

Lark: *slams the door* “Ahem. Continue. Who was doing six?”

Reeve: “Um, me.” *clears his throat* “On the sixth day of Christmas my true love game to me: six paperclips–“

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIVE GORGEOUS CHICKS!” *high five*

Barret:  *sings* “Four dumb emus–“

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Rufus: *nudges him* “We know who your true love is.” *wink*

Reeve: *looks uncomfortable* “Stop it, Rufus.”

Zell: *sings* “On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Seven Seifer’s losing.”

Seifer: “HEY!”

Reeve: *sings*”Six paperclips–“

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIVE GORGEOUS CHICKS!” *high five*

Barret:  *sings* “Four dumb emus–“

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Seifer: *laughing* “Your true love is Squall, right, Zell? Hahahahahahaha–” *pause* “Wait, seven Seifer’s *what*?!”

Lark: “Keep going!”

Sephiroth: *sings* “On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Eight someone’s something–“

Lark: “What?!”

Zell: *sings* “Seven Seifer’s losing–“

Reeve: *sings* “Six paperclips–“

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIVE GORGEOUS CHICKS!” *high five*

Barret:  *sings* “Four dumb emus–“

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Lark: “Your part was the worst part so far, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: “Quiet, woman! It means something to me…”

Rufus: “My turn!” *sings* “On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Nine Turks a dying!”

Turks: *gulp*

Sephiroth: *sings* “Eight Someones something.”

Zell: *sings* “Seven Seifer’s losing–“

Reeve: *sings* “Six paperclips–“

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIVE GORGEOUS CHICKS!” *high five*

Barret:  *sings* “Four dumb emus–“

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Tseng: “…There are only 4 Turks…”

Rufus: “Then you each get killed twice. Except for you, Tseng. You get killed three times.”

Tseng: *lots of sweat drops*

Squall: *sings* “On the Tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: ten Nida’s drowning–“

Lark: “This is getting morbid…”

Rufus: *sings* “Nine Turks a dying–“

Sephiroth: *sings* “Eight Someones something.”

Zell: *sings* “Seven Seifer’s losing–“

Reeve: *sings* “Six paperclips–“

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIVE GORGEOUS CHICKS!” *high five*

Barret:  *sings* “Four dumb emus–“

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Cid: *sings* “$%%#^#&#%^#$%*#^#$%@#$^#$^&#$!!!”

Lark: “Um… Okay, no. I’ll do it.” *sings* “On the ‘leventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: ‘leven Sephy’s pouting.” *giggles*

Sephiroth: “Hey!” *pause* “Wait…”

Squall: *sings* “Ten Nida’s drowning–“

Rufus: *sings* “Nine Turks a dying–“

Sephiroth: *sings* “Eight Someones something.”

Zell: *sings* “Seven Seifer’s losing–“

Reeve: *sings* “Six paperclips–“

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIVE GORGEOUS CHICKS!” *high five*

Barret:  *sings* “Four dumb emus–“

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

Tseng: *sings* “On the twelfth day of Christmas my true Reeve–er…love gave to me: Twelve Midgar’s exploding–“

Rufus: “Hey! Take that back!”

Tseng: “Well you want to kill us!”

Lark: *sings* “‘Leven Sephy’s pouting–“

Rufus: “You *deserve* it!”

Squall: *sings* “Ten Nida’s drowning–“

Tseng: “So do you!”

Rufus: *sings* “Nine *Tseng’s* a dying!”

Tseng: “No changing the song!”

Sephiroth: *sings* “Eight someone’s something–“

Lark: “I do not understand that.”

Zell: *sings* “Seven Sefier’s losing.”

Seifer: “You’ll pay for that, chicken-wuss!”

Reeve: *sweat drops–sings* “Six paperclips–“

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIVE GORGEOUS CHICKS!” *high five*

Sephiroth: “Stop high fiving like rejects!”

Barret: *sings* “Four dumb emus–“

Red: “I dislike that part of the song.”

Seifer: *sings* “Three gunblades–“

Zidane: *sings* “Two monkey tails–“

Vincent: *sings* “And an angel in a fur tree.”

(silence)

Lark: “Well… It’s done.”

Tseng: *pouts* “I didn’t like it.”

Seifer: “Me neither.”

Red: “Nor did I.”

Lark: “….I think I’ll let the girls do it next year… Eh heh…”

2nd Version

(2001?)

Lark: “Okay, guys. Guess what?”

Sephiroth: *dully* “We’re going to do the twelve days of Christmas AGAIN. Just like last year.”

Lark: “Right. Uh…except with less fighting.”

Sephiroth: “Right. Of course.” *rolls eyes*

Lark: “Okay, just shut up and get started.”

Zell: *jumps up and down* “I get to go first!” *sings* “On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Sephiroth: “There’s no such thing as a hot dog tree, you dumbass.”

Zell: “Says who!”

Sephiroth: “Uh, nature!”

Lark: “Sephiroth, don’t start. Zell can have a big, giant, tall hot dog tree if he wants to.”

Sephiroth: “You shouldn’t go along with someone who’s delusional, Lark. Didn’t Tifa teach you anything?!”

Lark: “Shush! Keep going!”

Reeve: *sings* “On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me two fanny packs–“

Tseng: *looks disgusted* “Is that really what you want?”

Zell: “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Reeve: “Well, they *do* come in handy.”

Tseng: “Reeve, they make you look like an old man.”

Sephiroth: “Uh…*look* like one?”

Reeve and Tseng: “Hey! Watch it!”

Lark: “All right! Come on! Let’s not start off on the wrong foot! Keep going!”

Rude: *sings* “On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me three shiny pennies.”

Rufus: *snort*

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Rufus: *laughing* “Hey, Rude! I got your list covered!” *throws him three pennies*

Rude: *seriously thankful* “Wow… Thanks, Rufus.” *tucks them away lovingly*

Rufus: *sweatdrop*

Vincent: *sings* “On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me four loving looks.”

Sephiroth: “Keep wishing.”

Rude: *sings* “Three shiny pennies.”

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Lark: “Don’t be mean to Vincent on Christmas!”

Sephiroth: “Why not? We’re not in a Fruity Pebbles commerical…even if Reeve and Tseng are here.”

Reeve and Tseng: “Hey!”

Lark: *smacks seph*

Sephiroth: “Ow…” *rubs cheek sorely* “Can’t any of you take a well placed joke?”

Irvine and Reno: *sings* “On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: FIVE KEGS OF BEER!” *high five*

Lark: “Oh g-d.”

Vincent: *sings* “Four loving looks.”

Rude: *sings* “Three shiny pennies.”

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Barret: *sings* “Yo! On da sixth day a’ Christmas my true love give ta me six emu’s whinin’!”

Red: “I resent that.”

Irvine and Reno: *sings* “FIVE KEGS OF BEER!” *high five*

Vincent: *sings* “Four loving looks.”

Rude: *sings* “Three shiny pennies.”

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Lark: “Bad start!”

Algus: “On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven slaves a slaving.”

Zidane: “Hey! I’m not slaving anything for you, snot.”

Algus: “If you rub my feet I’ll give you a quarter.”

Zidane: *mumbles something about needing the money and gets down to his knees*

Barret: *sings* “Six emu’s whinin’!”

Irvine and Reno: *sings* “FIVE KEGS OF BEER!” *high five*

Vincent: *sings* “Four loving looks.”

Rude: *sings* “Three shiny pennies.”

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Rufus: “On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me eight Turks a grovelin’.”

Tseng: “Dream on, blondie.”

Algus: “Seven slaves a slaving.”

Barret: *sings* “Six emu’s whinin’!”

Irvine and Reno: *sings* “FIVE KEGS OF BEER!” *high five*

Vincent: *sings* “Four loving looks.”

Rude: *sings* “Three shiny pennies.”

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Lark: “Hey, they’re actually doing well.”

Sephiroth: “Don’t jinx yourself.”

Tseng: “On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me nine jars of ‘hand creme’.” *grin*

Rufus: “Oh! Oh! You just corrupted the Christmas carol!”

Tseng: *phony innocence* “Oops.”

Rufus: “Eight Turks a grovelin’.”

Algus: “Seven slaves a slaving.”

Barret: *sings* “Six emu’s whinin’!”

Irvine and Reno: *sings* “FIVE KEGS OF BEER!” *high five*

Vincent: *sings* “Four loving looks.”

Rude: *sings* “Three shiny pennies.”

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Rufus: “Lark! Make him change his!”

Lark: “Hey, as long as it’s not violent, it can stay.”

Sephiroth: “Oh crap. There goes my contribution.”

Zidane: “On the tenth days of Christmas my true love gave to me ten Voodoo dolls.”

Algus: “For what?”

Zidane: “Uh… I don’t know…”

Tseng: “Nine jars of ‘hand creme’.”

Rufus: “Eight Turks a grovelin’.”

Algus: “Seven slaves a slaving.”

Barret: *sings* “Six emu’s whinin’!”

Irvine and Reno: *sings* “FIVE KEGS OF BEER!” *high five*

Vincent: *sings* “Four loving looks.”

Rude: *sings* “Three shiny pennies.”

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Lark: “You’re treadin’ on thin ice with that one, Zidane.”

Algus: “I don’t get it.”

Lark: “Oh dear… Okay, my turn. On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me! Eleven bishies stripping!”

Guys: *blink*

Lark: “…What? It didn’t involve stripping.”

Sephiroth: “You hentai!”

Lark: “Hey, that was the toned down version!”

Zidane: “On the tenth days of Christmas my true love gave to me ten Voodoo dolls.”

Tseng: “Nine jars of ‘hand creme’.”

Rufus: “Eight Turks a grovelin’.”

Algus: “Seven slaves a slaving.”

Barret: *sings* “Six emu’s whinin’!”

Irvine and Reno: *sings* “FIVE KEGS OF BEER!” *high five*

Vincent: *sings* “Four loving looks.”

Rude: *sings* “Three shiny pennies.”

Reeve: *sings* “Two fanny packs–“

Zell: *sings* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!”

Sephiroth: “Can you make Irvine and Reno stop high fiving? It’s really getting stupid.”

Lark: “Just finish off the song and we’ll be home free without a fight!”

Sephiroth: *sighs* “On the twelveth day of Christmas my true love gave to me twelve X’s a burnin’ .”

Lark: *chin trembles*

Sephiroth: “…What?”

Lark: “YOU RUINED THE CAROL YOU #@$%#@$^ JERK! LEAVE FFX ALONE!”

Sephiroth: “…Oops.”

Rufus: “No, I still say Tseng ruined it.”

Tseng: “Well, I say YOU ruined it!”

Algus: *eyes widening* “Oh dear me! I understand!” *glares at zidane* “Naughty slave! You ruined the carol!”

Zidane: “You ruined it by being a jerk!”

Red: “Barret ruined it by being cruel.”

Barret: “Yo! You ruined it by being annoyin’!”

Sephiroth: “Irvine and Reno ruined it with their stupid high fiving!”

Irvine and Reno: “Hey! You ruined it by being uncool!”

Reeve: *quietly to zell as the others all start to fight* “Uh…I don’t think we’re going to finish it.”

Vincent: “I doubt it.”

Zell: *sings brightly* “And a big, giant, tall hot dog tree!” *grins* “Can we get egg nog now?”

3rd Version

(2008)

Sephiroth: *big sigh* “Okay, everyone settle down. Is everybody ready to do this?”

Zell: “I have mine!”

Rufus: “Why are Reno and Irvine always number 5? That’s the best part of the song!”

Sephiroth: “I don’t have all day for this, okay? Let’s just get this over with.”

Atsuma: “I have a question.”

Sephiroth: “No questions.”

Dracula: “And I have a shoe on my head!”

Sephiroth: “Okay, that’s it. I’m starting.” *sings* “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me – a moment to hear myself think!”

Reeve: “That’s not really something you can physically get.”

Sephiroth: “That’s still what I want.”

Richter: “Did anyone else realize there’s a vampire here?” *points to nightmare* “And that creature is also alarming!”

Sephiroth: “We’re supposed to be singing here! Who has 2?”

Dante: “Me. Of course.” *grins*

Sephiroth: “Oh god. This should be slutastic.”

Dante: *sings* “On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me – two great lap dances.”

Sephiroth: “Gross.” *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think.” *says* “No one would want that, Dante.”

Dante: “People would. People definitely would. Especially if I were the one giving them.”

Sephiroth: “Last time I checked, it was the season for giving, not wishful thinking.”

Nightmare: “Nightmare’s turn!” *sings* “On the THIRD day of Christmas Nightmare’s true love gave to Nightmare – 3 sexy dates!”

Sephiroth: “What the hell?”

Dante: *sings* “Two great lap dances!”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think—“ *says* “First of all, you can’t refer to yourself in the third person when singing the song.”

Nightmare: “Nightmare’s voice teacher said Nightmare sounded Tony worthy!”

Sephiroth: *rolls eyes* “And second of all, what kind of gift is that? 3 sexy dates?”

Nightmare: “Nightmare is single and looking!”

Sephiroth: “The song is supposed to be about what you want for Christmas. Not how desperate you are to get laid.”

Reeve: “Well you set the precedent of having something completely unmaterialistic for your gift.”

Sephiroth: *sigh* “Reeve, aren’t you 4?”

Reeve: “Yes.”

Sephiroth: “Then I suggest you get on with it!”

Reeve: “Okay then.” *sings* “On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me – 4 new protractors!”

Sephiroth: “Way to geek up the song, nerd.”

Nightmare: *sings* “THREE SEXY DATES!”

Sephiroth: “Why are you singing so loud?”

Nightmare: “Nightmare’s voice teacher told him to project!”

Dante: *sings* “Two great lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think.” *to dante* “I get a little more nauseous every time to you sing that.”

Dante: “I guess when you’re not getting laid, you’re bound to confuse hornyness with sickness.”

Sephiroth: “That is *not* funny.” *to reeve* “And you! You can’t talk! 4 new protractors? That’s really what you want for Christmas?”

Reeve: “Sure. I really could use some.”

Sephiroth: *big sigh* “Whatever. Let’s get on to the booze part. Go Irvine and Reno.”

Reno: “Hey! Just because it’s us doesn’t mean it’s about booze!”

Irvine: “Yeah!”

Sephiroth: *gives them a look*

Irvine: “…Okay, so this one time it is.”

Sephiroth: “Right.”

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me – FIVE KEGS OF BEER!”

Sephiroth: “What a shock.”

Reeve: *sings* “Four new protractors…”

Nightmare: *sings* “Three sexy dates!!”

Dante: *sings* “Two *great* lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *already sounds bored* “And a moment to hear myself think.”

Richter: “My turn at last!” *sings* “On the *sixth* day of Christmas *my* true love gave to *me* SIX dead vampires!”

Sephiroth: “That’s disgusting.”

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIIIIIIIIIIIVE KEGS OF BEER! WHOO!”

Reeve: *sings* “Four new protractors…”

Nightmare: *sings* “Three sexy DATES!!”

Dante: *sings* “Two great lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think.” *to richter* “I don’t wanna see your tree on Christmas morning.”

Dracula: “I know a song about vampires!” *sings* “Frosty with your nose so bright! Won’t you save Halloween tonight!”

Sephiroth: *hand to his head* “Can we please just keep going so this can end?”

Zell: “Sure!” *sings* “On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me! Seven yummy brownies!”

Sephiroth: “…That’s actually the most appropriate thing I’ve heard yet.”

Richter: *sings* “Six *DEAD* vampires!”

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIIIIIIIIIIIVE KEEEEGS OF BEER!”

Reeve: *sings* “Four new protractors…”

Nightmare: *sings* “Three SEXY dates!!”

Dante: *sings* “Two *sweet* lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think.” *to dante* “No changing the lyrics.”

Dante: “I don’t take orders from you.”

Sephiroth: “Okay, who’s 8?”

Everyone: “………………”

Sephiroth: “Who was number 8?”

Everyone: *looks at dracula*

Dracula: *loudly whispers* “Did I just fart?”

Sephiroth: “It’s your turn, you idiot! Sing!”

Dracula: “Oh! My big break!” *sings* “On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me! Eight shiny pickles!”

Sephiroth: “…Don’t even get me started.”

Zell: *signs* “Seven yummy brownies!”

Richter: *sings* “Six DEAD vampires!”

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIIIIIIIIIIIVE KEEEEGGGS OF BEER!  YEAH!”

Reeve: *sings* “Four new protractors…”

Nightmare: *sings* “Three *SEXY* dates!!”

Dante: *sings* “Two *hot* lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think.” *to dracula* “That was even more stupid than I expected.” *to dante* “And you’re starting to piss me off.”

Dante: *grins* “Awesome.”

Rufus: “My turn! Finally!” *sings* “On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me – nine cuddly bears!”

Sephiroth: *rolls eyes*

Dracula: *sings* “Eight shiny pickles!”

Zell: *signs* “Seven yummy brownies!”

Richter: *sings* “Six *DEAD* vampires!”

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIIIIIIIIIIIVE KEEEEGGGS OF BEEEEER!”

Reeve: *sings* “Four new protractors…”

Nightmare: *sings* “Three sexy DATES!!”

Dante: *sings* “Two *good* lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think.” *glares at dante*

Atsuma: *sings* “ON THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME! TEN FIREY BURGERS!”

Sephiroth: “You’re supposed to sing it, not scream it! And what the hell is a firey burger?”

Atsuma: “You know. A burger that’s been cooked. In a fire. In an oven. In a kitchen.”

Sephiroth: “……That’s almost as bad as Dracula’s.”

Atsuma: “Thanks!”

Rufus: *Sings* “Nine cuddly bears!”

Dracula: *sings* “Eight SHINY pickles!”

Zell: *signs* “Seven yummy brownies!”

Richter: *sings* “Six *DEAD* vampires!”

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE KEEEEGGGS OF BEEEEER! WHOOO!”

Reeve: *sings* “Four new protractors…”

Nightmare: *sings* “Three sexy *DATES*!!”

Dante: *sings* “Two *nice* lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think.” *under his breath* “…Dante…”

Algus: “Ah, my turn, I believe.” *sings* “On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me – eleven slaves a working.”

Sephiroth: “Your true love being…your wallet?”

Algus: “Of course.”

Sephiroth: “…I didn’t expect him to actually admit it…”

Atsuma: “Ten FIREY burgers!”

Rufus: sSings* “Nine *cuddly* bears!”

Dracula: *sings* “Eight SHINY PICKLES!”

Zell: *signs* “Seven yummy brownies!”

Richter: *sings* “Six *DEAD* vampires!”

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE KEEEEEEGGGGGS OF BEEEEER! YEAH!”

Reeve: *sings* “Four new protractors…”

Nightmare: *sings* “Three SEXY *DATES*!!”

Dante: *sings* “Two *cool* lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And a moment to hear myself think.” *to dante* “Are you doing this just to piss me off?”

Dante: “Is it working?”

Lloyd: “My turn! My turn!”

Sephiroth: “Ugh. Thank god this song is almost over.”

Lloyd: *sings* “On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me! Twelve brand new toasters!”

Sephiroth: “What the hell are you going to do with twelve toasters?”

Lloyd: “Well, that’s usually how many I break in a year…”

Sephiroth: “I…don’t know what to say to that.”

Dante: “I’ll say that him singing about a true love giving him something is more laughable than Dracula’s bit about the shiny pickles.”

Dracula: “Shiny pickles taste like shadows.”

Lloyd: “Shut it, Dante!”

Algus: *sings* “Eleven slaves a working.”

Atsuma: *sings* “Ten FIREY *BURGERS*!!”

Rufus: *sings* “Nine *cuddly* bears!”

Dracula: *sings* “Eight *SHINY* PICKLES!”

Zell: *signs* “Seven yummy brownies!”

Richter: *sings* “Six *DEAD* vampires!”

Irvine and Reno: *sing* “FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE KEEEEEEEEEGGGGGS OF BEEEEEEEER! WHOO!”

Reeve: *sings* “Four new protractors…”

Nightmare: *sings* “Three *SEXY* *DATES*!!”

Dante: *sings smiling at sephiroth* “Two amazing-sexy lap dances.”

Sephiroth: *sings while glaring at dante* “And a moment to *hear myself think*!” *pause* “And I think I’ll take that. Right now.” *walks out*

THE END

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