#18 – And The Award Goes To…

Heero: “He still claims they made a mistake when the mailed out the letters.”

Originally Published: 7/17/00 . 31 pages

Synopsis
It’s time for the annual anime awards! Who will come home a winner?

Ramble Milestones
-First appearance of Zechs and Treize.
-First use of yaoi.

This is the first and only ramble revolving around the “annual” anime awards. This ramble is pretty much one big fangirl fantasy. I don’t really like this ramble very much, but that really has nothing to do with why I never decided to do the anime awards again. Honestly writing that over and over again would get pretty boring. So maybe we can assume they just stopped doing the anime awards after this, or no one from Final Fantasy ever got nominated again.

Up to this point, this ramble had far and away the most sexual content. There was innuendo flying left and right in this ramble, from Zechs and Treize’s ‘private party’ to Lark’s dress, to Sephiroth’s sexuality, not to mention Rude, Reno and Shell at the end there. Shell was not too happy with me about that ending! Anyway, up to this point I had tried to keep any yaoi out of the rambles – that was why I kept Zechs and Treize out of them until this point. Clearly, though, I lost that battle. And I lost it badly. Oh well!

(rufus, sephiroth, seifer, zell, squall, reno, reeve, irvine, vincent, cloud, rude, tseng, laguna, shell, noelle, and ashley are all hanging out in the room. Lark comes in, her hands full of letters.)

Lark: *reading off the letters* “Irvine, Vincent, Rude, Cloud, Laguna, Tseng, Rufus, Zell, Sephiroth, Seifer, Reno, Squall and Reeve–you’ve got mail!” *laughs at her bad joke*

(the guys look confused for a moment, then they all drop what they’re doing and run over to lark, grabbing the letters like women grabbing things off the clearance rack at a department store. everyone but cloud that is)

Lark: “Uh….” *recovers from the attack and looks at the letter left in her hand. goes over to cloud and pats him on the head* “Here you go, Cloud.” *gives him the letter*

Cloud: “Huh?”

(the guys are excitedly tearing open their letters)

Zell: *reading his* “All right!”

Rufus, Seifer and Sephiroth: *open their letters* “Hey! Best villian *and* hottest video game male character!” *glare at each other*

Irvine, Zell, Vincent, Squall and Laguna: “Hey, I got best male playable character *and* hottest video game character!” *glare at each other*

Noelle: *reading cloud’s letter over his shoulder as he scratches his head in confusion* “So did Cloud!”

Reno, Rude, Reeve and Tseng: “Best secondary character.” *all of them but rude* “And hottest male!!” *glares*

Rude: *looks disappointed* “Oh.”

Shell: “Hey, Lark. What’s this all about? What are they all nominated for?”

Lark: “The Anime Awards. They have them every year. They award the anime characters in different categories. Me, Noelle and Ashley went with the Gundam Wing boys last year. It’s really fun.”

Ashley: “Hey, when these guys actually realize they need dates, what should we do?”

Noelle: “Yeah. What about our GW guys?”

Lark: “We went with them last year. Let’s go with these guys this year.”

Guys: *all realizing at once* “Hey! I’ll need a date!”

Squall: “I’ll go with Rinoa.”

Tseng: *sighs* “I guess I’ll ask…Elena.”

Reno: *makes a beeline for noelle* “Noelle, Noelle! Will you go with me to the anime awards?”

Noelle: “Of course, hon!”

Reno: “Whoo hoo!”

Reeve: “I’ll go with Bria I guess.”

Seifer: “I’m going with Ashley! Right, Ashley?”

Ashley: “Sure….I guess.”

Seifer: *proudly* “Oh yeah.”

Rude: *goes over to shell and clears his throat* “Um….would you like to go with me to the anime awards, Shell?”

Shell: “Sure, Rude. Hey, you’re good friends with Reno, right?”

Rude: “Uh…..”

(rufus, sephiroth, irvine and zell are gathered around lark)

Rufus: “Go with me!”

Zell: “How ’bout goin’ with me?”

Irvine: *winks* “How ’bout you and me go together, babe?”

Sephiroth: “Back off! She’s going with me!”

Lark: *holds up her hands* “Hold it. Boys, I’d love to go with *all* of you, but I’ll have to choose….” *looks at them* “Dammit! You’re all too damn sexy!” *sighs* “Fine. I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 30. Whoever guesses it first I go with.”

Rufus: “Six.”

Lark: “Nope.”

Irvine: “Seven.”

Lark: “No.”

Zell: “Two.”

Lark: Nope.”

Sephiroth: “23!”

Lark: *shocked* “Yeah…that’s it.”

Zell, Rufus and Irvine: “Damn!”

Sephiroth: “Yes! I am the champion!”

Lark: “Sorry, boys. Maybe next year.”

(phone rings)

Ashley: “I’ll get it!” *picks it up* “Hello?…..oh hi, Duo….Oh, you guys are up for anime awards? Which ones?…….Oh, well that’s much more than last year….Well that’s cause Wufei sucks…..Oh….Uh…we can’t…..We’re kinds going with the FF guys this year since we went with you guys last year…..sorry…..you’re okay with it, right?…..yeah don’t let Heero have a panic attack, she’s going with Sephiroth so, you know, nothing will happen.” *laughs*

Sephiroth: “Grrrrrrr….”

Ashley: “Yeah she had a contest and he won….geez, Duo. He’s not *that* bad….Me? I’m going with Seifer….Ok, don’t kill each other. We’ll see you there. Bye, Duo….Love you too.” *hangs up* “That was Duo.”

Noelle: “They invite us to the awards?”

Ashley: “Yup, but I explained everything to him and they’ll get over it. They’re nominated for best anime character and hottest anime male. All of them except Wufei that is.”

Lark: “I hope they don’t try to kill one another like last year.”

Noelle: “They even had *us* fighting over which would win, remember?”

Ashley: “Yeah, and they didn’t even win either! Treize did!”

Lark: *dreamy sigh* “Treize….” *snaps out of it* “Speaking of fighting, I hope these guys don’t get competitive!” *turns around to see all the guys glaring at one another* “Oh crap.”

Shell: “Too late!”


(2 days later, the day before the awards and things are tense. all the nominees, plus kiros, lark, ashley, noelle and shell are in the ramble room sitting in uncomfortable silence)

Lark: “Uh….so, Irvine, Rufus, Zell…did you guys find dates?”

Irvine: “I’m going with Selphie.”

Zell: “Quistis agreed to go with me.”

Rufus: “I could have gone with Scarlet,” *shudders* “but I decided I’d rather go by myself.”

Lark: “I’m sorry, Rufus.”

Rufus: *mutters to himself* “I don’t know why Sephiroth couldn’t go with *Vincent*.”

Laguna: “I’m really excited about tomorrow.”

Kiros: “Wards says you don’t have a chance.”

Laguna: *face falls* “Ward said that?”

(the turks are all glaring at each other)

Reno: *gets up* “Okay, that’s it! I’m going to admit you two don’t have a chance! You–” *points to tseng* “Die half way through the game, and you–” *points to rude* “say five words the whole time!”

Tseng: “Well that was rude.”

Rude: *look at tseng*

Tseng: “Uh….no pun intended.”

Reno: “Well *sorry*. Just didn’t want you guys to get your hopes up or anything.”

Tseng: “What do you do that’s so great in the game, Reno? Get your ass kicked by Cloud?”

Reno: “Shut up.”

Ashley: *sighs* “Here we go…”

Seifer: “Yeah, speaking of having no chance…” *looks at rufus*

Rufus: “What’s *that* supposed to mean?”

Seifer: “It means your a crappy excuse for a villian.”

Rufus: “Hey! For you information I had *everybody* scared. Right guys?”

Vincent: *shrugs*

Seifer: “See! You suck!”

Rufus: “Oh come on! Like *you’re* scary? You weren’t scaring anyone, and you didn’t put up much of a fight either.”

Squall: “He’s got you there, Seifer.”

Seifer: “Shut up, Squall! You cheated! It was 3 against 1!”

Ashley: “Hey, how about this for a compromise? You all suck.”

Seifer: *looks hurt* “Hey….”

Rufus: “That wasn’t nice…”

Noelle: “At least you didn’t get them started on the subject of who’s the hottest.”

Reno: “Yeah, thanks for reminding me, Noelle.”

Noelle: *sweat drops* “Uh-oh….”

Reno: “No offense but why the hell is Vincent in that category? Who the hell finds him attractive?!”

Lark: “Reno!”

Vincent: “Huh?”

Lark: “I find Vincent *very* attractive!” *hugs vincent*

Reno: “Oh come on.”

Vincent: “….Thanks, Lark.”

Lark: “Anytime, hon. Look, I won’t put up with this competitive atmosphere. You guys get out of here and get ready for tomorrow. Good luck to all of you.”

(all the guys leave, except sephy)

Sephiroth: *looks embarrassed* “Do I have to leave?”

Lark: “Nah, you can stay.”

Sephiroth: *grins* “Good, cause I wasn’t gonna leave anyway.”

Noelle: “Hey, don’t tell Reno, but I’ll probably go home with Quatre after the awards tomorrow.”

Ashley: “I’m not sure if I’ll stay with Seifer or go with Duo.” *pause* “What about you, Shell?”

Shell: “Oh, I’m dumping Rude.”

Noelle: “To go with Trowa?”

Shell: “Uh…yeah. That’s it…”

Lark: *pats sephy’s hand* “Don’t worry, Sephy. I won’t dump ya tomorrow.” *smiles*

Sephiroth: “Not that I really care, but…uh…thanks.” *thinks* “Yeah! Yahoo! Yippee! Hooray!”


(the next day. Reno picks up Noelle with his convertible. he knocks at her door and she comes out wearing a pale green dress, her hair all put up)

Reno: *in a tux* “Hey. You look great.”

Noelle: “You too.” *pause* “Did you comb your hair?”

Reno: *blushes and runs his fingers through it* “Yeah…”

Noelle: “I like it!”

(they get into his car and drive off)

(Meanwhile, Seifer, in a tux, walks up to Ashley’s door and knocks, leaving his Lexus running)

Ashley: *comes to the door wearing a pink dress, her hair all pulled back* “Hey, handsome!”

Seifer: “Wow! You look really hot!”

Ashley: “Thanks, hon!”

(they get in his car and drive off)

(Meanwhile, Rude, in a tux, arrives to pick up shell in his BMW. He knocks at the door and shell comes out in a bright blue dress that’s strapless and has the side cut out and a flowy skirt. her hair is in rag doll curls)

Rude: “Wow.”

Shell: “You look nice too, Rude, but could you lose the sunglasses for one evening?”

Rude: “Sure.” *puts them away* “Let’s go.”

(they drive off)

(Meanwhile, Sephiroth shows up at Larks’ with a black limo and with a corsage of red roses. he’s wearing a tux. he rings the doorbell and waits)

Sephiroth: *pacing* “Control…control…control….control…”

(the door opens and there’s lark. she’s wearing a tight fitting red dress with thing straps that’s got a bodice at the top and a skirt that comes down in a triangle shape and has a big slit up one side (kind of slutty, but hey!) her hair is half up and half down and has been corkscrew curled)

Sephiroth: *mutters to himself* “I have *got* to stop wearing tight pants.”

Lark: *blinks at him* “Wow, Sephiroth. You look…..*really* wonderful.”

Sephiroth: *sighs* “You look drop dead gorgeous.” *composes himself* “Uh…you look nice.” *holds out the corsage* “Here. Put it on.”

Lark: *takes it, shocked* “Wow! You got me a corsage!”

Sephiroth: *shrugs* “Yeah.”

Lark: *smiles at him* “Thanks.”

Sephiroth: *grabs her hand* “Come on, the limo’s waiting.”

Lark: “Limo! Wow!!”


(lark and sephy walk into the crowded lobby arm in arm)

Lark: *looks around* “Hmmm….I trying to see if I can find anyone I know.”

Sephiroth: *stares at her cleavage* “Uh huh….”

Lark: “Oh, look! There’s Zechs and Treize!” *drags sephy over* “Hello, boys!”

Zechs: “Good evening, Lark.”

Treize: “Hello yourself. You look fantastic. That’s some dress.”

Lark: “Thanks. You guys look *gorgeous* as usual.” *smiles at treize* “Ready for another win, Treize?”

Treize: *shrugs* “We shall see. I still think Zechs is better looking.” *grins at zechs* “But if I win again, I’ll be sure to thank you along with my Zechs, of course.”

Zechs: “Who’s your boyfriend, Lark? Did you break up with Heero?”

Lark: “Oh no! This is Sephiroth from Final Fantasy. We’re just friends. I went with Heero last time, remember? So I decided to give someone else a chance.” *turns to sephy* “Sephiroth, this is Zechs and Treize.”

Treize: “Hello.”

Zechs: “Nice to meet you.”

Sephiroth: *to zechs* “People tell me I look like you.”

Zechs: “Really?”

Treize: “I’ll be the judge.” *steps back and looks at them* “Wow…I’ll have to agree.”

Sephiroth: “What do you think, Lark? Who’s hotter?”

Lark: “Look, you’re both hot guys in tuxes. I can’t look at you too long or I’ll give myself a nose bleed.”

Treize: “Don’t look now, but here comes your pilot.”

Zechs: *sighs* “Heero Yuy in a tux….damn he’s hot.”

Treize: “Zechs, I’ve warned you about the frequent Heero comments.”

Heero: “Hi, Lark. Boy you look….gorgeous.” *stares at her cleavage*

Sephiroth: “Grrrrr….”

Lark; *sweat drops* “Heh….hi, Heero. You look great too. Where are they other pilots?”

Heero: *points* “Over there.”

Lark: *makes a face* “Wu-fei came even though he’s not nominated?”

Heero: “He still claims they made a mistake when the mailed out the letters.”

Lark: “Yeah, in his dreams.”

Sephiroth: *coughs fakely*

Lark: “Oh! Sorry, Sephy!” *giggles* “Heero, you know Sephiroth.”

Heero: *glares* “Yeah. Hello.”

Sephiroth: *glares back* “Hello.”

Zechs: *to treize* “You could cut that tension with a knife.”

Lark: *sweat drops* “Heh…..”

Treize: “Uh, Heero! We really should be getting to our seats. The awards are about to start.”

Lark: “Yeah! We should be too! Good luck everyone!” *drags sephy away. he’s still glaring at heero*

Zechs and Treize: “Thanks!” *zechs has to drag heero away cause he’s still glaring at sephy*

Lark: “Sephy! That wasn’t very nice!”

Sephiroth: “He started it!”

Lark: “I don’t care who started it! Heero’s my Gundam Wing boyfriend! He has the right to hit on me! I mean, I could see Zell, Irvine or Rufus getting mad about it, cause they obviously have a thing for me, but not you, Sephiroth! You don’t like me that way!”

Sephiroth: “Right. Not at all. Not even slightly.” *sweat drops*

Ashley: *coming over with seifer* “Hey, Lark! There you are! We were looking for you!”

Lark: “Hi, Ashley. Sephy and I were talking to Zechs, Treize and Heero.”

Rufus: *comes over, wearing a tux, of course* “Hi, Lark! Wow, you look sensational!”

Lark: “Thanks, Rufus! You look extraordinary yourself.”

Irvine: *coming over, selphie in tow* “Howdy, Lark! You look gorgeous!”

Selphie: “Irvine you didn’t tell me I look gorgeous!”

Irvine: “Well your dress isn’t cut like *that*!”

Selphie: *pouts*

Lark: *sweat drops* “Heh…maybe I should have worn something else.”

Rufus, Irvine and Sephiroth: “NO!”

Zell: *running over* “What’s everybody staring….” *sees lark* “at? Oh….wow. That’s some chest, Lark.” *pause* “Dress! I meant dress!”

Lark: *hand to her head* “This is so embarrassing! I’m never wearing this dress again!”

Irvine and Rufus: “ZELL!”

Zell: “Huh?”

Noelle: *coming over with reno* “Hey, Lark.” *whispers* “Have you seen Quatre?”

Lark: “Yeah…he was over there…” *points vaugely* “But he went inside.”

Noelle: “Damn.” *pokes reno, who’s staring at lark* “Reno!”

Reno: “What?” *turns to noelle* “Why can’t you dress like that?”

Noelle:  “Cause I’m not a slut!”

Lark: “Hey!”

Noelle: “Sorry. No offense.”

Shell: *comes over, dragging rude* “Reno! There you are!” *pause* “Oh, and everyone else. Hi.”

Reno: “Hey, Shell. What’s up?”

Rude: “Hm.”

Shell: “Hey, Reno! Want a soda or a snack or a beer or something?”

Reno: “Nah, that’s okay. But thanks for asking.”

Rude: *frowns*

(the lights flicker)

Lark: “I think that means we have to sit down.”

Shell: “Can I sit next to you Reno?”

Noelle: *glares at shell*

Reno: “Sure!” *puts his arms around noelle and shell* “There’s enough Reno to go around!”

Rude: *frowns*

Shell: *drags rude along* “Come on, Rude.”

(they all go inside and sit down.)

Announcer: “Welcome to the Annual Anime Awards. Please welcome your host, Nida, from Final Fantasy 8!”

Lark: “Nida?!”

Ashley: “Who the hell did he have to sleep with to get that job?”

Quistis: *looks uncomfortable* “I have *no* idea…”

Nida: *comes out smiling and waving like he’s famous* “Welcome everyone to the Annual Anime Awards. Most of you probably recognize from Final Fantasy 8 where I drove the Garden.”

Squall: *mutters* “Yeah, poorly.”

Irvine: *whispers* “He can’t hear you, Squall.”

Lark: *sighs* “Ugh. This is going to be a loooooooooong night.”

(awhile later….)

Nida: “Looks like I get the honor of presenting the award for Best Male Anime Character.”

Ashley: *snorts* “I feel sorry for our guys.”

Nida: “The nominees for Best Male Anime Character are: Heero Yuy, Gundam Wing. Quatre Raberba Winner, Gundam Wing. Duo Maxwell, Gundam Wing. Trowa Barton, Gundam Wing. Zechs Merquise, Gundam Wing. and Treize Kushrinada, Gundam Wing.”

Rufus: *mutters* “Geez, whoever picks the nominees for these things sure likes Gundam Wing.”

Nida: “And the winner is…..” *opens the envelope, all the girls cross their fingers, hoping for their guys* “Duo Maxwell!”

Ashley: “Oh my god! Duo won!!!!!!”

Duo: *runs up to the stage, smiling from ear to ear. he takes his award and steps up to the mic* “Wow! This is all almost unbelievable! I’d like to thank my friends, Quatre, Trowa, Wufei and especially my best friend Heero for inspiring me to be cheerful with their general seriousness. I’d also like to thank my girlfriend, Ashley, who’s out there somewhere. Love ya, babe.” *grins* “Look, Wufei! I don’t suck after all! Thanks again!” *he leaves the stage, waving*

Ashley: “I can’t believe he won! I’m so happy!”

Lark: “That’s great! I’m really happy for Duo. He deserved it.”

Noelle: *mumbles* “Quatre deserved it more.”

Nida: “Presenting the next award for hottest anime male are two of those Sailor Scouts, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars!”

(serena and rei come out. rei has the envelope)

Serena: “Hi everybody! Boy, it’s great to be back presenting the award for Hottest Anime Male again this year!”

Rei: *icy smile* “I just hope that we don’t fight again like we did last year.”

Serena: *glares at her* “Anyway, the nominees are: Heero Yuy, Gundam Wing.”

Rei: “Duo Maxwell, Gundam Wing.”

Serena: “Zechs Merquise, Gundam Wing.”

Rei: “Treize Kushrinada, Gundam Wing.”

Serena: “Quatre Raberba Winner, Gundam Wing.”

Rei: “Trowa Barton, Gundam Wing.”

Serena: “And Darien from Sailor Moon!” *giggles*

Rei: “And the award goes to…” *goes to open the envelope. serena stops her*

Serena: “Rei! I thought we agreed *I* would open the envelope!”

Rei: “No way, Serena! We said that I could!” *they have a tug of war with the envelope. rei wins* “Ah ha!” *rips the envelope open* “And the winner, for the *second* year in a row, is Treize Kushrinada!”

Lark: “All right Treize!!”

Treize: *goes up on stage and calmly receives his award* “I’d like to thank the academy for this honor once again. I’d like to thank two people. My friend Lark and my *very* good friend Zechs.” *winks* “Thanks for everything.” *he walks off stage*

Lark: *sighs* “He’s so hot….”

Sephiroth: *frowns* “What was *that* supposed to mean. Thanks for what?”

Lark: *turns red* “Heh heh. Nothing….”

(awhile later…..everyone’s getting a little bored. sephiroth is slumped down in his seat, a chin on his hand)

Seifer: “When the hell are they going to get to us?”

Lark: *heaves a sigh* “I’m getting tired.” *puts her head on sephy’s shoulder*

Sephiroth: *sits up* “Uh…comfortable?”

Lark: *sits up* “Sorry.”

Sephiroth: “Oh…I don’t mind….”

Lark: “Okay.” *puts her head back on his shoulder*

Rufus: *who’s sitting behind them, snickers*

Sephiroth: *turns around and gives him a nasty look*

Nida: “Now, here’s my favorite part of the program. The video game awards.”

Lark: *sits up* “Finally!”

Sephiroth: *quietly* “Dammit.”

Nida: “Now, before we begin I have a little joke for ya. What do you call a screwed up person who can’t remember half of what happened to him in the past?” *pause* “The main character of a Final Fantasy game!” *laughs at his own dumb joke*

Cloud: “Huh?”

Squall: *rolls his eyes* “Whatever.”

Lark: “He’s just a dumb ass.”

Nida: “Anyway, our next presenter is straight from FF7, please welcome Red XIII!”

Lark: “I didn’t know Red was presenting!”

Ashley: “Tee hee! I love Red!”

Red: *comes on stage with the envelope* “I am here to present the award for best secondary character in a video game. The nominees are: Reno, Final Fantasy 7–“

Reno: “Everyone get ready to clap for me!”

Red: “–Tseng, Final Fantasy 7. Rude, Final Fantasy 7 and Reeve, Final Fantasy 7.” *opens envelope* “And the winner is….Reeve, Final Fantasy 7!”

Reno: “WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!”

Reeve: *looks stunned* “I….won?”

Bria: *kisses reeve* “You won!!”

Reeve: *looks bewildered and goes up to get his award* “Thanks, Red. Boy, I’m a little confused. First of all, I’d like to say that the other guys I was nominated with are all great, and deserve this just as much as I do.”

Reno: *pouting* “He’s just saying that to be nice.”

Reeve: “I’d also like to thank my friend Rufus–“

Rufus: “Huh? Friend?” *grins*

Reeve: “and my girlfriend Bria for always being there for me. Thanks so much.” *he leaves the stage*

Rufus: *beams* “Did you hear that, Bria? He thanked me!”

Bria: *smiles at him* “Yup. He does consider you his closest friend, Rufus.”

Rufus: “Did you hear that, Reno?”

Reno: “Rufus, I really don’t care that Reeve mentioned you in his acceptance speech.”

Rufus: “You’re just mad cause you lost!”

Noelle: “It’s okay, Reno. All the good people got screwed over tonight.”

Lark and Ashley: “Hey!”

Lark: “Besides, it’s not over yet! We still have 3 more awards we care about!”

Shell: “I have a question.”

Lark: “What?”

Shell: “Why aren’t there any awards for *girl* characters at this ceremony?”

Noelle: “Oh they have a separate one for that.”

Shell: “Why?”

Noelle: *shrugs* “Do I run it?”

Nida: “Our next award is being presented by my favorite Headmaster in the whole wide world, Headmaster Cid! Give him a round of applause everyone!”

Lark and Squall: “Suck up.”

Cid: “And now the award for best villian.”

Seifer: “Everyone get ready to cheer my name!”

Ashley: “Wait till you hear it.”

Cid: “The nominees are: Seifer Almasy, Final Fantasy 8–“

Seifer: “Whoo hoo!”

Cid: “–Sephiroth, Final Fantasy 7 and Rufus Shinra, Final Fantasy 7. And the award goes to…” *opens the envelope* “Sephiroth, Final Fantasy 7.”

Lark: “OH MY GOD!!!!”

Sephiroth: *leaps to his feet* “I won!!!!!!!!!”

Lark: *gets to her feet and hugs sephy* “Congratulations, Sephy-chan!” *kisses him on the lips*

Sephiroth: *raises his eyebrows, grins at lark and runs up to the stage* “Wow! I have to say I’m flattered, though not *completely* surprised.”

Seifer: *growls* “Whatever.”

Sephiroth: “I want to thank the black materia and meteor for trying their best to destroy the planet, and uh…I’d like to thank Lark…for uh…being my friend. Thanks to everyone who voted for me too. I shall spare your lives.” *pause* “Just kidding.” *leaves the stage*

(cut to hojo watching at home with a bowl of popcorn)

Hojo: “Sephiroth! How could you not thank me?? I created you!!! You would have never been evil if I didn’t screw you up!”

(back to the awards)

Lark: “Aw….I’m glad he won.”

Rufus: “Hey!”

Lark: “Sorry, Rufy! I love you too!”

Reno: *pouts* “Figures the big jerk wins.”

Seifer: “Yeah!”

Lark: “Stop it you guys! I want you guys to all congratulate Sephiroth!”

Rufus: “Yeah….you congratulated him pretty well….”

Lark: “Huh?”

Reno: “You *kissed* him.”

Lark: “So? I’ve kissed other FF guys before. What’s the big deal?”

(reno and rufus exchange a look but keep quiet)

Nida: “Our next presenter is a big mouth from FF7, Barret Wallace!”

Barret: *comes out* “Yo! Here are the nominees for best male playable character! Squall Leonhart, Final Fantasy 8, Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy 7, Irvine Kinneas, Final Fantasy 8, Vincent Valentine, Final Fantasy 7, Zell Dincht, Final Fantasy 8, Laguna Loire, Final Fantasy 8, and Ashley Riot, from Vagrant Story.”

Ashley: *dreamy sigh* “Ashley’s nominated?”

Barret: “Yo, listen up! The award goes to…..” *opens envelope* “Zell Dincht!”

Zell: “I–I won?! No way!”

Lark, Ashley, Shell: “Congrats, Zell!”

Seifer: “Dumb chicken wuss.” *pouts*

Zell: *runs up the stage* “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Uh…thanks to everyone that voted for me, and thanks to my best friend Squall for keeping me in his party! I’d also to thank my friends Ashley, Shell and Lark for all their help and support. Sorry, Seifer! Whoo hoo!! I’m king of the world!”

Seifer: “He’s a moron.”

Ashley: “Shut up, Seifer.”

Lark: “I’m so happy for Zell!”

Nida: “And now it’s time for our last award of the evening, presented by Rinoa Heartilly from Final Fantasy 8. Unfortunately for us guys, she’s dating that loser Squall.”

Rinoa: *comes out in her famous dress* “I’d just like to clear one thing up. Squall isn’t a loser.” *pause* “Guess who is.”

Lark: “Hehehe.”

Ashley and Noelle: “Crack whore.”

Rinoa: “I have the pleasure of announcing the winner for hottest male video game character. And the nominees are: Ashley Riot, Vagrant Story–“

Ashley: “Whoo hoo!”

Rinoa: “–Squall Leonhart, Final Fantasy 8.” *smiles* “Irvine Kinneas, Final Fantasy 8, Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy 7, Reeve, Final Fantasy 7, Sephiroth, Final Fantasy 7, Zell Dincht, Final Fantasy 8, Rufus Shinra, Final Fantasy 7, Tseng, Final Fantasy 7, Reno, Final Fantasy 7, Irvine Kinneas, Final Fantasy 8, Seifer Almasy, Final Fantasy 8, Vincent Valentine, Final Fantasy 7 and Laguna Loire, Final Fantasy 8.”

Shell: “Hey, Lark! Why does this category have so many nominees?”

Lark: “Why does everyone keep asking me like I wrote the nominees?”

Rinoa: “And the award goes to….” *opens envelope* “We have a tie! Irvine Kinneas, Final Fantasy 8 and Rufus Shinra, Final Fantasy 7!”

Rufus and Irvine: “Whoo hoo/Yee haw!” (note: hmmm…who said what?)

Lark: *stands up and kisses them both* “Congratulations you two!”

Ashley: “Yeah!”

Reno: “This sucks.”

Seifer: “Majorly.”

Noelle: “Well, Rufus *is* hot.”

Reno: *glares at her* “Hey!”

Noelle: “But not as hot as you, Reno-chan!”

Irvine: “Really quick, I wanna thank everyone who voted for me, my Final Fantasy 8 pals, and all the little ladies out there, especially Lark, Ashley, Noelle and Shell.” *winks*

Rufus: “Thanks to the voters, this really means a lot to me. I’d like to thank my best friends Reno, Reeve and Bria, and Lark for always telling me how cute I am. Thanks!”

Nida: “Well that’s it. Hope you enjoyed yourself!”

Lark and Squall: “Not with you as the host.”

Nida: “Good night everyone, and I’ll see you all next year!”

Lark: “Well that was fun.”

Reno: “It sucked.”

Seifer: “Yeah.”

Ashley: “You two are just mad cause you didn’t win anything!”

Reno: “Damn straight we are!”

Noelle: “There’s always next year.”

Ashley: “Come on, girls! Let’s go congratulate everyone!”

(the girls encounter duo first)

Ashley: “DUO!” *runs over and kisses him* “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you!”

Duo: *winks* “You can congratulate me more later.”

Ashley: “Oh….”

Seifer: *glares*

Lark: “Congratulations, Duo! We were all cheering for you!”

Noelle: “Speak for yourselves.” *turns to quatre* “You should have won.”

Quatre: “I’m very happy for Duo.”

Wufei: “Duo *still* sucks.”

Lark: “I’m sorry you didn’t win, Heero.”

Heero: *shrugs* “I’m all right. I’m not going to go self destruct over it.”

Trowa: “I might…but then again I probably would if I won anyway.”

Shell: “No you won’t!”

Lark: “Okay, well congrats again, Duo. I’m going to go find Treize and congratulate him.”

Heero: “Are you coming to our after party?”

Wufei: “Please say no.”

Lark: “Actually…I’m not. I promised Sephy I’d stay with him. Plus, he won. I can’t dump him now!”

Wufei: “Whoo hoo! She’s not coming! Now it’ll be a real party!”

Heero: *frowns* “Okay…but I’ll see you really soon, right?”

Lark: “Of course!” *kisses him* “Bye, hon!” *she leaves*

Duo: “Are we ready to go?”

Ashley and Noelle: “Yup!”

Reno and Seifer: “Huh?”

Seifer: “Aren’t you coming with *me*, Ashley?”

Ashley: “Sorry, Seifer. But Duo won! You understand.”

Seifer: *sighs* “Whatever.”

Reno: “What about you, Noelle. Quatre didn’t win anything!”

Noelle: “Uh…I’ve gotta go! Bye!”

(all the gundam wing pilots plus ashley and noelle leave)

Reno: “This night totally sucks!”

Seifer: “Tell me about it!” *stalks off*

Shell: “I’ll keep you company, Reno.”

Rude: “Hm?”

Shell: *turns around* “Oh, Rude! You’ve been so quiet I’d forgotten about you!”

Rude: “What about me?” *sad look*

Shell: “Uh….” *lightbulb over her head* “We can all have fun! The *3* of us!”

Reno: “All right!”

Rude: *grins*

(they leave)

Lark: *going over to treize and zechs* “Congratulations *again* Treize!” *gives him a kiss*

Treize: “Thanks, sweetie.”

Zechs: “Where’s that Sephiroth guy?”

Lark: “I dunno. I have to find him.”

Zechs: “Tell him I said congratulations.”

Treize: “Me too.”

Lark: “I will. And though he might not say so, trust me, he appreciates it.”

Treize: “So….do you want to come to our after party?”

Lark: “Who else is going?”

Zechs: “It’s just going to be the two of us….”

Lark: “Sur–” *pause* “Wait, no. I can’t. I promised Sephiroth I’d hang out with him afterwards.”

Zechs: “So bring him along.”

Treize: “There’s always room for more.”

Lark: “Uh……………………………I don’t know if he’d go for that.”

Zechs: *frowns* “The cute ones are always straight.”

Lark: “Well, I’m not saying he’s *is*, or that he *isn’t*.” *pause* “He’s confusing. Oh well. Congrats again, Treize. I better find Sephy.”

Treize: “Okay, but if you change your mind….”

Zechs: “Feel free to drop by.”

Lark: “I’ll remember that.” *goes looking for sephy and bumps into zell*

Zell: “Hey, Lark!”

Lark: “Hey yourself! Congrats!” *hugs zell*

Zell: “Thanks! Hey, where did everyone go?”

Lark: *shrugs* “I don’t know. Have you seen Sephy?”

Zell: *shakes head* “No. Sorry.”

Lark: “That’s all right. See you around.” *goes off looking again*

Irvine: “Yee haw! There she is!” *runs over to lark with rufus. he picks her up, spins her around and puts her back on the ground*

Lark: “Irvine! Rufus! Congratulations!”

Rufus: “Thanks.” *wipes a tear from his eye* “I’m really touched.”

Irvine: “He was bawling like a baby back there.”

Lark: “Aw…” *puts an arm around rufus*

Reeve: *coming over with bria* “Hey, Lark!”

Lark: “Congrats, Reeve!”

Reeve: “Thanks! Hey, we’re all going out to celebrate! Wanna join us?”

Irvine: “Yeah, come on, Lark. It’ll be fun.”

Rufus: “Please?”

Lark: “I’d love to guys, but I promised Sephiroth I’d hang out with him and you know he doesn’t like people.”

Irvine: *frowns* “Fine. But you owe me a kiss!”

Rufus: “Me too!”

Lark: *giggles and kisses them both* “There you are. Congratulations to you all again!” *goes off looking for sephy. she finally spots him standing alone in a corner with his award* “There you are!!!!!” *runs up and hugs him* “I’m so happy for you, Sephy!”

Sephiroth: *smiles in surprise* “Lark!? You actually came looking for me? You didn’t go to one of the other parties?”

Lark: “No! I promised I would stay with you and I’m a girl of my word.”

Sephiroth: “Oh….well…you don’t have to stay with me….”

Lark: *frowns* “Fine….if you don’t want me around…” *looks sad*

Sephiroth: “No, no! It’s fine.”

Lark: *grins* “Great! Come on, we’ll have lots of fun!” *grabs his hand and they head outside*

(as soon as they get outside a bunch of teenage girls gather around sephiroth with pens and autograph books)

Girls: “Ooh! Sephy! Sephy! Can we get your autograph??”

Girl #1: *dreamy sigh* “He’s so hot….”

Sephiroth: *eyes get really wide* “Uh….” *backs up*

Girl #2: *glares at lark* “Hey, are you his girlfriend??”

Lark: “Uh…..yeah! Yes, I am!” *hugs sephiroth*

Girls: *look disappointed* “Ooh….” *they go off*

Lark: “Whoa. That was close.”

Sephiroth: *sweat drops. twitches*

Lark: “Aw! Poor Sephy! Come on!” *they get in the limo. she pours some champagne* “Here, this’ll fix you right up.”

Sephiroth: *makes a grab for it and drinks it down* “That was a nightmare.” *pause* “Thanks for saving me.”

Lark: “No problem, hon!”

Sephiroth: *pours a practically overflowing glass of champagne and hands it to lark* “Here. We have to celebrate my well deserved win.”

Lark: *takes the glass, laughing* “Sephiroth! Are you trying to get me drunk?”

Sephiroth: *sweat drops* “No…..”

(Meanwhile….Shell, Reno and Rude are all in Reno’s car. He’s driving. Shell is kissing Rude’s neck and stroking reno’s shoulder. bad girl!!!)

Rude: “Come on, man! Can’t you drive any faster!”

Reno: “Trust me, man. I’m driving as fast as I can!”

(Meanwhile at the gundam wing guy’s party, duo and ashley are making out, and so are noelle and quatre. wufei and trowa just look bored, and heero looks impatient)

Heero: “This sucks! My girlfriend’s gone off with the biggest jerk in the world.” *darkly* “If I found out they did anything…..”

Trowa: “She won’t do anything with Sephiroth. I don’t think she likes him much herself.”

Heero: *looking unhappily at the couples* “I’m outta here.” *he leaves*

Wufei: “Ha ha! Welcome to our world!”

(No, I’m not going to tell you what Zechs and Treize are doing at their private party. Take a wild guess. At Reeve, Bria, Rufus and Irvine’s get together….they’re all drunk.)

Irvine: “We all rock!”

Rufus: “You said it!”

Reeve: “Yup!”

Irvine: “We rock more than anyone else!”

Rufus: “You said it!”

Reeve: “Yup!”

(back to lark and sephiroth in the limo…)

Lark: *drinks champagne* “I wonder what everyone else is doing.”

Sephiroth: *shrugs*

Lark: *laughs* “So what’s the matter, Sephy-chan? Didn’t like all those little girls running after you?”

Sephiroth: *twitches* “That’s not funny.” *frowns*

Lark: “Come on, Sephiroth! Smile for once!” *pause* “I bet I can get you to smile.”

Sephiroth: *mutters* “I bet you can.”

Lark: *comes over next to him, grins evilly, and starts to tickle him* “Hehe.”

Sephiroth: *laughs hysterically and half heartedly tries to push her away* “Stop it, woman! Stop it, stop it, stop it!!!” *he practically has tears coming out of his eyes*

Lark: “Ha ha! I know your weakness!!”

Sephiroth: “Yeah, both of them!”

Lark: *looks at him* “What’s the other?”

Sephiroth: “Never mind.” *quickly tries to change the subject* “Ha ha! You stopped!”

Lark: “That’s what you think!” *starts to tickle him again*

Sephiroth: “Stop it, stop it, stop it!” *lark reaches up and kisses him. sephy stops dead* “Don’t stop that….” *kisses her back*

(Meanwhile….back to reno, rude and shell…reno parks the car like total crap, taking up about 3 parking spaces. then the three of them run into the ramble room. Meanwhile…at the GW “party”….)

Ashley: *looks up from kissing duo* “Hey, where’s Heero?”

Wufei: “He left cause his whore is with that Sephiroth jerk.”

Ashley: “Aw….poor Heero.”

Duo: “Enough. Kiss me again.” *pulls ashley back to him*

(Meanwhile…back to Lark and Sephy…Sephiroth’s into the kiss about 5 times more than she is. he tries to push her back on the seat, but she breaks away and stops him)

Lark: “I think that alcohol is getting to my head.”

Sephiroth: *quickly* “That’s fine with me. Kiss me again.” *leans in, but she stops him*

Lark: “Sephiroth! Boy, you don’t get much action, do you?”

Sephiroth: “No. None.” *keeps leaning forward. she stops him again*

Lark: *sighs* “Fine. We can make out. But don’t tell anyone! Promise?”

Sephiroth: *excitedly* “Fine!” *they start going at it*

Limo driver: “What the hell is going on back there?”

(the limo finally arrives at the ramble room. lark pushes sephiroth off her, to his great disappointment, and they start walking inside)

Lark: “You know, Sephiroth, I feel bad for you…kind of.”

Sephiroth: “What do you mean kind of?”

Lark: “Well you know, maybe you wouldn’t be so lonely if you were nicer to people.”

Sephiroth: *frowns*

Lark: “But don’t worry, I’m sure someday you’ll actually fall in love with someone and they’ll love you back and you’ll live happily ever after!” *smiles*

Sephiroth: “But what if I fall in love with someone, but they don’t really love me back?”

Lark: *shrugs* “I can’t plan your whole life for ya.” *opens the door to the ramble room* “Oh my god! Shell! Reno! Rude?!”

Sephiroth: *eyes nearly come out of his head and he passes out*

THE END

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