#22 – There’s No Pegging In Baseball!

Shell: “Stupid always changing rules.”

Originally Published: 8/1/00 . 33 pages

Synopsis
It’s Lark’s team versus Shell’s team in a baseball game for the ages! Rules are made to be broken…right?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I think this ramble is cute, and it definitely has some classic stuff – the ever changing rule book for one, and the sudden appearance of Odin is another. I can’t go as far as saying that this ramble is one of the best early rambles, but I would say it’s one of the better ones.

(Lark sits in the ramble room by herself, smiling as she writes something on two separate pieces of paper. shell enters, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.)

Shell: “Whatcha doin’, sis? It’s 1 A.M! Gundam Wing uncut ended a half an hour ago! The guys were all making fun it. They were mean…but funny.”

Lark: “I watched it myself. I got an idea….”

Shell: “I already told you it would be a bad idea to have the FF guys fly mobile suits. All you need to do is give Sephiroth another weapon of mass destruction and–“

Lark: “No! I was watching the baseball game before the episode, and I got an idea from *that*.”

Shell: “Oh. Did the Yankees win?”

Lark: “Of course! But don’t you wanna know my idea?”

Shell: “Not really.”

Lark: “Shell!”

Shell: “Fine! What is it?”

Lark: “I think it would be fun to play some friendly baseball with our FF friends. You could be one captain and I could be the other, and after some practice we could have a big game and play each other!”

Shell: “Okay, but I claim Sephiroth!”

Lark: “No! I already made the teams. You get Rufus, Reeve, Cloud, Vincent, Reno, Rude, Tifa, Yuffie, Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa, Ashley and Noelle.”

Shell: *looks skeptical* “And who’s on *your* team?”

Lark: *quickly* “Sephiroth, Tseng, Irvine, Twilight, Squall, Cid, Zell, Seifer, Barret, Elena, Bria and Red.”

Shell: “Hey! How come I got so many girls? You put all the strong guys most likely to cheat on your team! This is rigged!”

Lark: “What do you mean ‘most likely to cheat’? Besides, your team has one more player!”

Shell: “Twilight cheats like there’s no tomorrow, and knowing Seifer–“

Lark: *laughs* “Don’t worry. We’ll draw up some special rules so they can’t.”

Shell: *looks unsure* “I don’t know…”

Lark: “Come on! We’ll meet with our teams tomorrow to discuss the team name, colors and song!”

Shell: “Song?! You’re getting a little *too* interested in this, don’t you think?”

Lark: “Whatever.”


(the next day….lark and shell meet in the mini stadium they found at a nearby park /hey, it’s my ramble, I can do what I want!/ lark meets with her team on one side of the field, and shell meets with her team on the other side…)

Zell: “Yeah! Baseball! We’re gonna kick some *ass*! Right, Squall?”

Squall: “Whatever….why’s Rinoa on the other team?”

Zell: “I don’t know, man. Why don’t you ask Lark?”

Squall: “Lark, why’s Rinoa on the other team?”

Lark: *sighs* “Squall, I took all the people I thought would be good for this team, and all the leftover people went on the other team.”

Barret: “Yo! Why’s the stinkin’ catdog on our team!?”

Red: “Excuse me?”

Cid: “@#$%&!”

Lark: “Quiet, you! There’s nothing I hate more than people dissin’ their own team members!”

Twilight: “You made a good choice putting me on this team, Lark. I rock at everything.”

Seifer: “You don’t rock half as much as me!”

Twilight: “You wanna bet, buddy?” *raises fist*

Lark: “No fighting your team members either!”

Sephiroth: “I love competitions.” *evil smile*

Elena: *hanging off tseng’s arm* “I’m so *glad* we’re on the same team, Tseng!”

Tseng: *sighs, looking over at reeve on the other side of the field* “Right….”

Bria: “Too bad Reeve sucks at baseball. Otherwise he’d be on this team.”

Lark: “He does suck? Good! I made the right choice! I mean, no offense, I love Reeve and all, but he’s not much of a sports person.”

Irvine: “Why’s Rude on their team? Isn’t he good at everything?”

Sephiroth: “No! What gave you *that* idea? I’m good at everything!”

Seifer: “No way! I am!”

Twilight: “I’ve got you both beat.”

Lark: “Okay, guys. When I signed you up for this team, I didn’t figure on dealing with your overflated egos!”

Bria: “So…what’s our team called?”

Lark: “That’s what we need to discuss. Any ideas?”

Elena: “The Turks!”

Tseng: *sighs* “Elena…”

Elena: *meekly* “I withdraw my suggestion.”

Twilight: *confidently* “The Jedi’s!”

Lark: “No! You’re the only Jedi here!”

Twilight: “I’m also the only one that matters.”

Lark: “Right….”

Zell: “How about the SeeDs?”

Lark: “No! No, no, no! Stop picking names of other organizations! We need to name our team after something powerful!”

Squall: “Eden.”

Seifer: “That’s a wimpy name, chicken–wait. Sorry. Force of habit.”

Barret: “Yo! How ’bout Diamond WEAPON?” *laughs* “That’ll send Shinra running!”

Lark: *twitches* “No! My poor Rufus!”

Irvine: “Speaking of Rufus, why isn’t *he* on this team?”

Lark: “Cause he probably sucks. Any more suggestions?”

Sephiroth: “The Masamune’s!” *holds up his sword*

Everyone else but him and lark: *groans*

Lark: “Hey! That’s great!”

Everyone else but sephy: “Huh?”

Sephiroth: *grins* “I know.”

Lark: “So that’s our name! The masamune’s! Now, as for uniform colors….”

Squall: “Black.”

Twilight: “I go for black.”

Seifer: “I vote black.”

Sephiroth: “I wear black.”

Irvine: “How about orange?” *gets nasty looks from everyone* “Fine. Black.”

Lark: “Guys, I love black. In fact, it’s my favorite color, but there’s one tiny problem with it…”

Seifer: “What’s that?”

Lark: “IT’LL BE TOO DAMN HOT! YOU WANNA SWEAT TO DEATH!?”

Squall: “….now that you mention it…”

Sephiroth: “I prefer not to melt into a puddle…I guess…”

Elena: “How about Turk blue?”

Tseng: “Ele–“

Elena: “Sorry!”

Tseng: *surprised* “Hmmm…I didn’t even have to finish.”

Bria: “If you guys want black, how about gray, the next best thing?”

Lark: “Yeah! Gray! With blue writing! How about it, guys?”

(everyone nods)

Lark: “Okay, great. And since it took us forever to just settle on that, I’m telling you that our official song is “How Bizarre” by OMC, just because that’s how this team strikes me. Now as for numbers and postitions…I claim the number 23 and first base, cause it’s my favorite position.”

Irvine: *winks* “What other positions do you like, Lark?” *wink*

Lark: *smiles at him* “I’m going to pretend you didn’t even ask that, Irvine. You’re left field.”

Irvine: *frowns* “Fine…”

(meanwhile…on shell’s side….)

Rufus: “How come Lark didn’t put me on her team?”

Reeve: “I guess she knows we suck.”

Rufus: “Hey! Speak for yourself!”

Reno: “Hey, man! Why are there so many girls on this team?” *grins* “I like it!”

Yuffie: “Ew! Pervert!”

Shell: “Okay, everyone. This is the baseball team Lark stuck me with, so I’ll have to make the best of it.”

Noelle: “Hey!”

Ashley: “I’d just rather watch the guys myself.”

Selphie: “This’ll be sooooooo much fun!” *bounces*

Shell: *dryly* “Yeah. Ok, first, we need a name.”

Cloud: “Huh?”

Tifa: *pats him on the shoulder* “It’s okay, Cloud.”

Cloud: “Who are you?”

Shell: “Okay, come on! A team name, people! Something good!”

Rufus: “The Shinra’s!”

Shell: “No!”

Reno: “The Turks!”

Shell: “No!”

Yuffie: “The materia hunters!”

Shell: “No! These names suck! Think harder!”

Selphie: “The happy people!”

Shell: “I’m not even going to honor that with a no.”

Rinoa: “The Leonharts!”

Shell: “Isn’t that just your boyfriend’s last name?”

Rinoa: *blushes* “Yeah….”

Shell: “Think of something powerful you guys! I know! Let’s name our team after something that kicks the crap out of Sephiroth! Now, I’ve never played FF7, so you guys have to help me out here.”

Cloud: *scratches the back of his head* “Knights of the Round materia?”

Tifa: “Yeah! Knights of the Round! That kills bizarro Sephiroth in one hit!”

Vincent: *mutters* “My poor angel…”

Shell: “Knights of the Round, huh? Okay! That’s a cool name! Now how about uniform colors?”

(reno, rude, reeve and rufus start having their own private conversation)

Selphie: *bounces* “Pink and white! With skirts for the girls!”

Quistis: “I’d go for that.”

Rinoa: “Me too.”

Tifa: “Cool.”

Yuffie: *sighs* “Fine.”

Cloud: “I like pink.”

Noelle and Ashley: “Whatever.”

Shell: “All for pink?” *everyone raises their hands except rufus, reeve, reno and rude, who aren’t listening, and vincent, who’s shaking his head no* “Okay! Majority rules!”

Vincent: “Um…excuse me, Reno, Rude, Reeve and Rufus, but…um…the rest of our team just voted to have pink uniforms.”

Rufus: “What?! Pink! That’s not my color at all!”

Reno: “Red heads can’t wear pink–and that’s a sissy color anyway!” *turns to rude* “Rude! Tell her it’s a sissy color!”

Rude: “It’s a sissy color.”

Shell: “Sorry guys. You missed out on the vote. Pink it is. Now stop complaining or I’ll make the guys wear skirts too.” *evil laughter*

Reeve: “Oh dear….”

Shell: “Now our theme song is going to be “Who Let the Dogs Out”, cause that’s just the funniest damn song!”

Noelle: “Whatever….”

Ashley: “Do we have to *do* anything?”

Shell: “Yes! I have to give you guys positions! And numbers! But I’ll figure that out in time for our first practice.”

Lark: *comes over with the team behind her* “So…Shell…you guys gotta name?”

Shell: “Yeah! We’re the Knights of the Round!”

Sephiroth: “Hey! That was mean!”

Lark: “Well we’re the Masamune’s!”

Rufus: *mutters* “Wonder who came up with *that* one.”

Cloud: “Our color is pink!”

(everyone on the masamune’s bursts out laughing and the guys on knights of the round, except cloud, look mad)

Reno: “We had no say! We weren’t paying attention!”

Twilight: “Ha ha! Sucks to be you!”

Sephiroth: “Why has *everyone* been using that expression lately?”

Lark: “Never mind! Tomorrow’s our first practice, 8 A.M sharp!”

Reno: *whines* “8 A.M?! I’m supposed to get over my hangover by then?”

Noelle: “Here’s a tip: don’t drink tonight and you won’t get one!”

Reno: “Look who’s talkin’!”

Noelle: “Hey!”


(the next day at 8 A.M. shell’s on one side of the field, handing out uniforms, and lark’s on the other, handing out uniforms. on shell’s side…)

Reeve: “What’s wrong with you, Reno?”

Reno: *grumbles* “I had to stay sober last night. That’s what’s wrong with me.”

Rufus: “You know, you’ll stay sober to play *baseball*, but you won’t stay sober for work, which you get *paid* for.”

Reno: “You point being….?? Besides, I work better when I’m drunk.”

Shell: “Okay, listen up! Here are your numbers and positions! Keep in mind, some of you probably won’t play at first. Rufus, left field, number 5. Reeve, center field, number 19, Cloud, right field…” *looks down the list* “What number were you again…??”

Cloud: *grabs his head and twitches* “Give me a number!”

Shell: “Okay, here is it! Number 1.”

Cloud: *relaxes* “Number….one?”

Reno: “Hey! How come he gets to be number one?!”

Shell: “Shut up! I’m doing stuff! Vincent, catcher, number 13, Reno, first base, number 69, Rude, pitcher, number 39, Selphie, 3rd base, number 44, Ashley, number 56, Tifa, you’re number 68, Yuffie, number 12, Quistis, number 98, Rinoa, number 31 and Noelle number 30. I’m playing short stop, and I’m number 77.”

Reno: “Ha ha! Vincent’s got number 13! That’s unlucky!”

Vincent: “Actually, Reno, some people consider 13 a lucky number.”

Reno: “….shut up!” *winks at Noelle* “I got my lucky number….69.”

Noelle: “Ew!!!!”

(on lark’s side of the field….)

Lark: “Okay, listen up! I’m giving you your number and positions now. Some of you are just back up players, so you don’t have positions right now. Like I said yesterday, I’m number 23 and the first baseman. Irvine, you’re left field, number 28, Sephy, you’re center field, number 3. Tseng, right field, number 22, Twily, you’re 2nd base, number 4. Squall, you’re short stop, number 17. Cid, you’re 3rd base, number 35, Zell you’re catcher, number 20, Seifer you’re the pitcher, number 8, Barret, number 78, Elena, number 63, Bria number 27 and Red number 99.”

Barret: “Yo! How can I play with one arm!?”

Lark: “That’s why I didn’t put you in a position. You’re not playing. You’re just good for shouting things.”

Barret: “Damn straight, woman!”

Shell: “Hey, Lark! How long do we have to practice?”

Lark: “Uh….today. The game’s tomorrow.”

Everyone: “What?!”

Lark: *shrugs, innocent smile* “Well, we have to move this along!”

(they start to practice….the masamune’s do some hitting while the knights of the round practice fielding)

Shell: “Okay, I’m going to hit a ball to each of you out fielders, and you guys have to catch it, okay?” *hits it to rufus*

Rufus: *waving his mitt around wildly as he runs for where the ball’s headed* “I got it! I got it! I–!” *reaches up for it, but the ball lands right next to him* “Uh…never mind.”

Shell: “Oh dear. Okay, Reeve, you’re turn.” *hits it to reeve*

Reeve: *covers his head and the ball lands in front of him* “Help!”

Shell: “Reeve! You didn’t even try!”

Reno: *laughs* “He’s afraid of the ball!”

Reeve: “Am not!”

Shell: “Okay, Cloud, your turn.” *hits it to cloud*

Cloud: *sees ball coming towards him, scratches his head, and catches it* “What is this?”

Shell: “Well at least *someone* in our outfield can catch.”

Rufus: “Hey! I can catch!”

Reno: “She means the ball, dufus.”

Rufus: “Shut up!”

(meanwhile…)

Lark: “Okay, we’re going to practice hitting. Twilight, you’re up first. Seifer, throw it right down the center so people can actually *hit* them.”

(seifer pitches and twilight uses the force to hit it. the ball flys over to where shell’s team is practicing and a soft cry is heard)

Shell: “Oh no!”

Twilight: “Did I hit someone?” *snickers*

Lark: “What happened?”

Shell: “That ball hit Selphie in the head!”

Irvine: “Oh no! One of my harem!”

Lark: “Is she okay?” *goes over*

Shell: *whines* “Our 3rd baseman!”

Selphie: *comes to* “Uh…I don’t like this game. I think I’d rather sit on the bench and cheer.”

Shell: “Fine.” *looks around* “Ashley, you’re 3rd base.”

Ashley: *filing her nails* “Whatever.”

Lark: “So how is your team, Shell?”

Shell: *glares* “Just *fine* thank you.”

Reno: “Reeve’s afraid of the ball!” *laughs*

Reeve: “Stop that!”

Bria and Tseng: “Leave him alone, Reno!”

Elena: *joining in to please tseng* “Yeah, Reno! You’re mean!”

Reno: *frowns* “Geez. I didn’t realize Reeve had so many followers.”

Lark: “Okay, let’s get back to practicing. Remember, the game’s at 10 A.M tomorrow!”

Reno: “Hmmm…at least I’ll have *some* time to recover.”

Shell: “NO DRINKING!”

Reno: “Dammit!”


(the next day everyone arrives at the field, the knights of the round are in one dugout, and the masamune’s are in the other. the stands are basically empty, except for Opal, Laguna, Kiros, and Heidegger)

Irvine: “Hey, why are Nida, Scarlet and Hojo the umpires!?”

Lark: “There was nobody else! Besides, I got Ward there too!”

Twilight: “Look! There’s my girlfriend!” *waves to opal*

Opal: *blows him a kiss* “Hi, Twily!”

Irvine: “She’s pretty hot.”

Twilight: “She’s MINE!”

Irvine: “Whoa. Geez. Possessive, are we?”

Sephiroth: “There’s nothing wrong with that!”

(on shell’s side…Ashley and Noelle are doing their nails)

Shell: “Come on, you guys! You have to get ready for the game!”

Ashley: “Nah…”

Noelle: “We decided that we’d rather just watch.”

Shell: *sighs* “Fine. Tifa, you’re 2nd base. Quistis, you’ve got 3rd.”

Lark: “Okay, we have to go over the rules before we begin.”

(everyone goes out onto the field)

Reno: “Ha ha! You look like such a geek with your socks pulled up, Rufus!”

Rufus: “Hey! I think it’s cool! Besides, Lark has her socks up!”

Lark: *spots rufus and runs over to him* “Rufus! You pulled up your socks! I love when players do that! You look so cute!”

Rufus: *gives a reno a look* “Thank you, Lark.”

Sephiroth: “Hmmmm….” *pulls up his socks*

Shell: “Are we going to go over the rules?”

Lark: “I can’t believe you guys are wearing skirts!”

Seifer: “I can’t believe they’re wearing pink!”

Vincent: *mutters* “This is thoroughly embarrassing.”

Shell: “Shut up! You’re jealous cause we look cool.”

Reeve: “Yeah…that’s it.”

Shell: “Anyway, the rules!”

Reno: “I’ll give the rules! Okay. You go to bat, you drink a beer. You get to first, you drink a beer. You get to 2nd–“

Lark: “Reno! We’re not playing beer baseball!”

Reno: “What?! We’re not!? Oh, man! This bites!”

Lark: “Anyway, here are the rules.” *holds up a notebook that has ‘big book of rules’ written on the cover*

Bria: “Did you make that yourself?”

Lark: “….Yes. Anyway, allow me to read from it. Rule one: Reno is only allowed to drink 5 beers during the course of the game.”

Reno: “Only 5?!”

Lark: “There will be no summons or GF’s.”

Squall: “Guess I have to fix my junction….”

Lark: “No use of the Force.”

Twilight: “Yeah. Right.”

Lark: “Okay, that’s it. Have you got your lineup, Shell?”

Shell: “Sure do.”

Lark: “Okay then, play ball!”

Irvine: “Hey, Sephiroth, why’d you pull your socks up?”

Sephiroth: “No reason.”

Irvine: “Did you pull your socks up cause Lark said she liked it?”

Sephiroth: “No! What gave you that idea??” *stomps into the dugout*

Lark: “We’re up first!” *goes into the dugout* “Okay, people, here’s the batting order. I’m first, then Cid, then Squall, then Tseng, then Sephiroth, then Irvine, then Seifer, then Zell and finally Twilight.”

Twilight: “Best for last!”

(lark goes up to the plate. she swings at the first pitch and hits a single)

Masamune’s: “Whoo hoo!”

(cid comes up to bat. he swings at the first pitch, but misses)

Cid: “@#$%&^!”

(rude pitches again, and he swings and misses)

Cid: “@#$%&^ *&!@#>#!”

(again the pitch comes, and cid swings again and strikes out)

Nida: “You’re out!”

Cid: “@#$%&^ *&!@#>#! ?{_~<$@%&!” *starts beating nida with the bat*

Nida: “Ow! My head!”

(all the masamune’s laugh)

Squall “Bash him good, Cid!”

(the knights of the round are all disgusted)

Quistis: “Poor Nida!”

Lark: *calls* “Cid! That’s enough!”

(cid goes back to the dugout, cursing)

Nida: “Ow….”

Squall: *comes up the bat* “Hey, Nida. If I strike out, I’m going to beat you too.”

Nida: “Oh dear…”

Lark: *to reno, the first baseman* “You know, Reno….you look really sexy in pink.”

Reno: *surprised* “I do?”

Lark: *as the ball goes flying over the head of a distracted reno* “Sure, why not!” *runs for second base* “Bye!”

Reno: “Huh?”

(squall gets a double, so that puts lark on 3rd base)

Reno: “Hey! That’s not fair! She flirted with me! Isn’t flirting with someone during the game against the rules?”

Rinoa: *checks the rules* “Nope.”

Reno: “Well write it in!”

Lark: “You can’t write in rules! Now come on! It’s Tseng’s turn to bat!”

(tseng bats and ends up hitting a high pop up to reeve)

Shell: “Catch it! Catch it!”

Reeve: “I can’t!” *runs away from it*

Shell: “Reeve! You suck!”

Tseng: *as he stops at 2nd* “Sorry!”

Lark: *as she scores* “Whoo hoo!”

Shell: “This sucks!”

Reeve: *uncovering his head* “Is it over?”

Reno: “You moron! They scored!”

Reeve: “I don’t like the ball! It probably hurts if it hits you!”

Reno: “Well if you *catch* it, it won’t hurt!”

Lark: “Let’s get on with the game!”

(sephiroth steps up to bat, grinning.)

Shell: “Oh, sh*t!”

Rude: “………” *sweat drops*

Sephiroth: “Heh heh.” *hits a home run on the first pitch* “Look at that!”

Shell: “My team sucks!”

Lark: “Whoo hoo! Go Sephiroth!”

Irvine: *swaggers up to bat with his cowboy hat* “Here goes nothin’.”

Lark: “Time!” *runs up to irvine with a baseball cap* “Irvine, I told you you can’t wear your cowboy hat.”

Irvine: “Oh come on, baby! It’s part of who I am!”

Lark: “We wear *baseball* caps in baseball. Look, you can put your ponytail through the hole in the back like all the other guys.”

Reno: *shows off his* “See?”

Lark: “See. Reno likes it. And he’s also wearing pink and not complaining.”

Reno: “Yeah…not right now….”

Irvine: “Fine.” *takes the baseball cap and puts it on, giving lark the cowboy hat*

Lark: “Thank you. But I still think I have to make wearing cowboy hats illegal.” *yells into the dugout* “Rinoa, bring me the rule book!”

Reno: “Hey! You said you couldn’t write in rules!”

Lark: *as she writes in the new rule* “No, I said *you* couldn’t write in rules. It’s my notebook.”

Reno: “Oh man!”

Lark: “SHUT UP, IRVINE’S BATTING!” *bats eyelashes* “Go ahead, hon.”

(irvine ends up hitting a pop up to rufus)

Shell: “Come on, Rufus!”

Rufus: *moving underneath the ball* “I got it! I got it! I—” *the ball drops in front of him* “Oh, crap.”

Reno: *slapping himself in the forehead* “This sucks!”

Rude: “……dammit.”

Lark: “Whoo hoo! 4-0 Masamune’s!”

Seifer: *comes up to bat* “It’s gonna be 6 nothin’ in a minute!”

Rude: *mumbles* “Over my dead body.”

(seifer swings wildly at the first pitch, but misses)

Seifer: “That’s all right! I’m just gettin’ warmed up!” *swings at the next pitch and misses* “Hey, it’s okay! I’ve got one more!” *swings at the next pitch and misses* “What the….” *jaw drops*

Nida: “You’re out, Seifer!” *laughs, but steps away in fear*

Seifer: “DAMMIT TO HELL!”

Zell: “Ha ha! You’re not so great after all, Seifer!”

Seifer: “This game’s rigged!” *stalks into the dug out*

Sephiroth: “Rigged….right.”

Seifer: “Shut up! Just cause you hit a home run doesn’t make you great!”

Sephiroth: “Yes it does! Right, Lark?

Lark: *nods* “Oh yeah.”

Sephiroth: “See.” *grins*

Zell: “My turn!”

Shell: *turns to the outfield* “Move back!”

Rufus: “Dammit.” *trudges further back*

(zell hits a pop up to cloud)

Shell: “Get it, Cloud!”

Cloud: “Huh?” *catches the ball* “Why?”

Shell: “Whoo hoo! Three outs! We’re up!”

Cloud: “Huh? What’s going on?”

(the knights of the round prepare to bat)

Shell: “Okay, here’s our batting order! First is Reno, then Rude, then me, then Rufus, then Vincent, then Reeve, then Quistis, then Tifa, then Cloud.”

Reno: “First is the best!”

Rude: “….no. First is the worst. *Second* is the best.”

Reno: “No way! That chant sucks!”

Shell: *hand to her head* “For the love of–guys, please! Reno, go bat!”

Reno: “Watch this!” *swings and misses*

Rufus: *laughs* “Watch what?”

Reno: “Shut up!” *swings at the next pitch and hits it* “Hey! Look at that!”

Sephiroth: *easily catches it* “Too bad.”

Reno: “Argh!” *sulks back to the dugout*

Rude: *steps up to bat* “Hmmm….”

Seifer: “Another easy out!”

(he throws it and rude hits it, sending it flying over irvine’s head for a home run)

Lark: “Hey!”

Irvine: “What the—“

Shell: “Whoo hoo! Someone on my team doesn’t suck!”

Reno, Reeve and Rufus: “Hey!”

Shell: “Well, you do!”

Lark: *pouts* “Fine. So it’s 4-1. We’re *still* winning.”

Shell: *comes up to bat* “We won’t trail for long!” *hits the ball foul*

Kiros: “Hey! Ward says the game’s out there!”

Laguna: “Ward’s out there too, Kiros.”

Kiros: “Ward says shut up.”

(shell hits a ground ball to squall, who throws her out)

Lark: “Ha ha!”

Shell: “Shut up!”

Rufus: *coming up to bat* “Don’t worry! I’ll fix them!”

(sephiroth glares at rufus from his position in center field, making rufus really nervous)

Rufus: *gulps, swings at the pitch but misses* “It’s not fair! Sephiroth’s glaring at me.”

Sephiroth: *whistles innocently* “Was not!”

Lark: “Just get on with it!”

(rufus hits the next pitch, but it doesn’t go very far and seifer catches it)

Shell: *sighs* “Okay, it’s your turn Vincent.”

Vincent: “Um…does it say anywhere in the rules that I can’t transform to bat?”

Shell: *checks* “No.”

Vincent: “Very well.” *transforms into galien beast and goes to bat*

Seifer: “Hey! He’s cheatin’!”

Shell: “It doesn’t say in the rules no transformations!”

Lark: *sighs* “Fine. Just pitch, Seifer.”

(vincent hits a home run on the first pitch that’s out of the stadium)

Shell: “Whoo hoo!! Make that *two* good people on my team! it’s 4-*2* now!”

Lark: “Big deal. So you have two good players. I have nine. Beat that!”

Shell: “Oh no! It’s Reeve’s turn to bat! Get ready to field again, everyone.”

Reeve: “Hey!”

Shell: “Sorry.”

Reeve: *goes up to bat* “She’s probably right….”

(he hits it backwards and zell catches it for the last out)

Kiros: “Ward says: ha ha!”

Laguna: “That’s not funny, Kiros.”

Kiros: “I wasn’t laughing! Ward was!”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa!”

Kiros: “So’s he.”

Highlights from the 2nd inning….

(twilight comes up to bat and obviously uses the force to hit a home run)

Twilight: “Whoo hoo!”

Shell: “Hey! It’s in the rules! No use of the Force!”

Lark: *holding up the notebook* “Sorry. It’s been crossed out. Sephiroth is also apparently allowed to summon Meteor.”

Sephiroth: “Damn straight!”

Shell: “Hey! I thought only *you* could add rules!”

Lark: “Yes. Me…and those people on my team.”

Shell: “Grrrrrr…..”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa!”

Opal: *inches away from him* “Why did Twilight seat me with these freaks?”

Highlights from the 3rd inning….

(before the masamune’s go up to bat)

Seifer: “Hey, everyone, I got an idea.”

Zell: “This should be interesting.”

Seifer: “Shut up chicken-wuss.” *grins evilly* “It doesn’t say anywhere that using *spells* is illegal.”

Lark: *checks the rules* “Nope. But apparently it’s illegal for Rufus to whine.”

Barret: “Yo! I was sick o’ his complainin’!”

Lark: “Whatever.”

Seifer: “So then I can cast haste on everyone.”

Lark: “Cast away.”

(seifer casts haste on everyone and zell goes up to bat)

Shell: “Hey! Did you cast haste on Zell?”

Lark: “Uh…..no.”

Shell: “Then why is he jumping up and down like a spaz!?”

Lark: “It’s the prozac.”

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_

(the knights of the round are up to bat. rufus starts running from second to third. twilight picks up the ball, and pegs rufus in the back with it)

Rufus: “Ow! My back! That hurts!”

Shell: “There’s no pegging in baseball!”

Lark: “I’m afraid even I have to join in this time, Twilight. This isn’t kickball.”

Twilight: “But it says I can in the rules!”

Rinoa: *checks* “It sure does.”

Shell: “Grrrrrr….”

Rinoa: “And Rufus’ whining–that was illegal.”

Rufus: “What?!” *whines* “That’s not fair!”

Lark: “Shell, make your player stop whining or he’ll have to be ejected from the game.”

Shell: *mumbles* “Stupid always changing rules.”

Highlights from the 4th inning…

Cid: *striking out again* “@##@^$*%@$#^!@*#)$^!#$^!@#($^^!$(^^((*^!!” *beats nida with the bat*

Nida: *trying to protect himself* “Ow! Stop it! I’m going to need plastic surgery!”

Shell: “Lark, is this legal?”

Lark: *checks rules* “Yup. So’s beating Hojo.”

Hojo: *gulp*

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_

(quistis is on first base.)

Shell: *whispers* “Hey, Quistis! Steal second!”

Quistis: “Huh?” *shrugs* “Okay.” *walks over, takes 2nd base, and walks back to shell* “Here you are.”

Shell: “NO! NOT LIKE THAT!”

Quistis: “Huh?” *turns around and sees lark with the ball at first smiling at her*

Hojo: “You’re out!”

Shell: “Oh my G-D!”

Highlights from the 5th inning….

(twilight hits the ball pop up to quistis. it hits her in the head and she collapses)

Twilight: “All right! I’ve got some aim, huh, Opal?”

Opal: “That’s horrible, Twily!”

Shell: “Oh no! That’s my second third baseman!” *sighs* “Fine. Yuffie, you’re in the game.”

Quistis: *coming to* “No, Cid…I swear I didn’t steal your desk…just the chair…”

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_

(irvine’s in the outfield, annoyed by all the birds)

Irvine: “Lark, can I shoot the birds?”

Lark: “No! That’s cruel!”

Sephiroth: *takes out black materia* “I’ll summon meteor to get rid of them.”

Lark: “No! Pay attention to the game and forget the birds!”

(tifa hits the ball over to irvine)

Irvine: *whips out his gun* “This’ll take care of those birds.” *shoots into the air but hits the ball, not the bird* “Oh, damn!” *struggles to catch the ball. he falls on his face but he gets it*

Lark: “Irvine, why do you have your gun in the outfield?”

Irvine: “Uh….cause it’s not illegal?”

(cloud comes up to bat with his sword)

Shell: “No, Cloud!” *runs up to him with a bat* “Use *this*. Not *that*.” *takes his sword*

Cloud: “Oh…okay…” *hits a homerun*

Sephiroth: “Stupid jerk.”

Highlights from the 6th inning…

(squall is up to bat with a full count)

Lark: *looks up in confusion* “I think the sky is getting darker….”

Elena: “Do you hear hoof beats?”

(silence. then all the ff8 people and lark go pale)

Lark: “Oh no! Everyone get down!”

(everyone on the field ducks down just as Odin comes riding through. once he’s gone, everyone warily gets back up)

Barret: “Yo! That ain’t right!”

Lark: “Squall!”

Squall: “Sorry! But you know he’s a semi-GF! I don’t have control over him!”

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_

(seifer’s on third base. yuffie casually comes over to him and starts to pat his sides like she’s searching for weapons)

Seifer: “Hey! Stop touching me!”

Ashley: “Yeah! Only I can do that!”

Yuffie: “Just give me your materia and I’ll stop!”

Seifer: “I don’t *have* any damn materia!” *whines* “Lark, can you make materia searches illegal?”

Lark: “Sure. Sephiroth, the notebook.” *sephy hands her the notebook and she writes it down*

Bria: “This is getting ridiculous.”

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_

(reno runs from second to third and is obviously safe *way* before the ball gets there)

Scarlet: “You’re out!”

Reno: “What?! I was here *way* before the ball got here.”

Scarlet: “Sorry. I say you’re out.”

Reno: “You don’t even know how to play, do you?”

Scarlet: “Shut up, Turk! You’re out!”

Reno: *mumbles* “Stupid slut.”

Highlights from the 7th inning….

Reno: “Come on, Lark, change the rules so I can have more beer.”

Lark: “No.”

Reno: “Please?”

Lark: “No.”

Reno: “Come on! You’re changing the rules only to let your team cheat!”

Lark: “No I’m not!”

Reno: *picks up the notebook and flips through it. points to something* “Look. It says here that only Seifer, Sephiroth and Twilight are allowed to cheat.”

Lark: “Your point being…..??”

Reno: “THEY’RE ALL ON YOUR TEAM!”

Lark: *grabs the notebook* “Gimme that.” *mumbles as she writes* “Reno is not allowed to complain about the rules under penalty of less beer.”

Reno: “Oh, man!”

Highlights from the 8th inning…

Cid: *strikes out* “@#@$!@#$!@$^@#*$!@*^$@!(#*^$@!(#^$@^!!” *beats nida with the bat*

Nida: “Ow! Dammit!”

Shell: “Lark–“

Lark: “I told you it was perfectly legal.”

Squall: “This is my favorite rule.”

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_

(seifer pitches and the ball goes flying past rufus so fast he can’t even see it)

Rufus: “Hey! Did you cast haste on the ball?”

Seifer: “Yeah I did. It’s legal!”

Rufus: “But I can’t even see it!”

Seifer: “Sucks to be you.”

Zell: “Shut up, Rufus, or you’ll be ejected for whining.”

Rufus: *pouts* “Stupid game.”

And then there was the bottom of the ninth…the score–15-13 Masamune’s, but Tifa’s on 3rd base and Yuffie on 2nd with two outs and Cloud’s up….

Shell: *praying* “Oh please….we really need to beat them.”

Noelle: “Why?”

Shell: “Because! Don’t you see?! It’s principle! She rigged the game and her team cheated like no tomorrow, so if *we* win we’ve overcome all the evil of their side.”

Ashley and Noelle: *blinks*

Ashley: *goes back to fanning herself* “Whatever. Maybe you should go talk to Treize. He’ll understand.”

Shell: *sighs* “Come on, Cloud! If you hit a home run we’ll win the game!”

Seifer: *quietly, holding out the ball* “Haste…”

Twilight: “They won’t win! They don’t have the *Force* on their side!”

Sephiroth: “Want me to summon meteor?”

Lark: “No! Just let Cloud bat!”

Cloud: *comes up to bat, scratching his head* “What?”

(seifer pitches, and cloud swings, but he misses)

Shell: “Dammit!”

Noelle: “Cloud’s so cute.”

Ashley: “Nah.”

Reno: “Hey! What about me?!”

Noelle: “You’re cute too, Reno.”

Reno: “I know.” *grins*

(cloud swings again and misses)

Shell: “Dammit!”

Lark: “One more out!”

Hojo: *checks his watch* “Good. My kelp is almost done.”

Scarlet: “Hurry up and throw the ball, you big oaf! It’s hot out here!”

Kiros: “Ward says you suck!”

Laguna: “…I don’t think he said that….”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa!”

Sephiroth: “Come on, Seifer! Strike him out!”

Irvine: “Yee haw! We’re gonna win!”

Twilight: *sings* “We’re gonna win! We’re gonna win!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Zell: “Come on, Seifer! Just throw it!”

Red: “Hmmm…I wonder what will happen…”

Barret: “Yo! Shut yer damn mouth, cat/dog!”

Cid: “@#$@%!”

Tifa: “You can do it, Cloud!”

Yuffie: “Cloud? If you hit it, can I have your materia?”

Rude: “………come on, Cloud.”

Reeve: “I hope we win.”

Rufus: “No thanks to you.”

Reeve: “Hey!”

Reno: “No thanks to *either* of you.”

Rufus and Reeve: “Hey!”

Rinoa: “No thanks to the *three* of you.”

Reno: “Hey! I wouldn’t talk! You didn’t even play!”

Selphie: “Yeah! Go Cloud, go! Yipee!”

Quistis: “Hmmm…I wonder if I could pick Cid’s office lock with a bobby pin….”

Vincent: “Hm. Quite an exciting moment.”

Nida: “If you strike out, don’t beat me!”

Ward: “……………”

Tseng: “Boy Seifer’s taking his time.”

Bria: “Hey, Elena, do you think we’ll win?”

Elena: “Nope. Not a chance in hell.”

Barret: “Yo! Explain yourself, woman!”

Elena: “Nah. It’s always the same story with these things. The underdogs always win.”

Bria: “Yup. Don’t you see any of those sports movies?”

Lark: “JUST THROW THE DAMN BALL, SEIFER!”

Seifer: *sweat drops* “Here goes nothing.”

(he throws the ball, and cloud’s bat connects with it. and in traditional slow motion the ball sails up into the sky. everyone watches in amazement as irvine runs back to the wall but it’s no use. home run, 15-16 knights of the round)

Bria and Elena: “Called it.”

Shell: “WHOO HOO!” *sings* “WE WON, WE WON, WE WON!”

Lark: “What the @#%&?! How could we lose!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I had all the good people on my team!”

(cloud finishes running around the bases and the knights of the round people happily carry him off in celebration)

Lark: *glares* “Well this just…..sucks!”

Cid: “@#%@!”

Barret: “Yo, you said it, man!”

Sephiroth: *chin quivers* “We….lost??”

Twilight: “The great Twilight XyXia does not *lose*!”

Seifer: “….it’s not my fault!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Tseng: “It was a good game.”

Zell: “This blows!”

Kiros: “Ha ha! Ward says you suck!”

Laguna: “That was mean, Ki–I mean Ward…I mean…”

Opal: “Aw. My poor Twilight.”

Irvine: “Well………crap.”

Lark: “It’s not fair! We were supposed to win!” *bursts out crying*

Sephiroth: *glaring at seifer* “Now you look what you did! You made Lark cry cause you lost the game!”

Seifer: “It’s not my fault Cloud hit it! Chicken-wuss gave me the signal!”

Zell: “Yeah, well……it’s not my fault!”

Lark: *picks up a bat and heads for nida*

Nida: “Oh, no! Not again!!!!!” *runs away, lark in pursuit*

Tseng: “I think it was a good game.” *everyone gives him nasty looks* “What?”

THE END

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Second Installment and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s