The Top 150 Ramble Moments of All Time
1. No Windows in the Ramble Room (#1, Tonight We’re Gonna Party)
Sephiroth points out to Lark there’s no windows in the ramble room. “Damn,” she says, managing a curse in her first five lines. “I knew I forgot something!” And it wasn’t the last she’d hear of it.
2. Reno Decides Not to Get Involved (#2, The Contest)
Reno walks in whistling while a bunch of FF guys are lined up half naked in the ramble room waiting to be judged on who’s got the best body. Reno sees them, turns right around and walks out still whistling. Guess he thought they were planning some kind of homosexual orgy he didn’t want to be a part of.
3. Rufus Tells Off Sephiroth (#3, Operation: Get Sephiroth Off the Couch!)
Rufus gets ticked off when Sephiroth insults his intelligence so he goes off on him, calling him ‘Mr. I am the planet’ and making fun of his dad, his hair and his sword. Sephiroth winds up fleeing the room in tears.
4. What’s Your Name Again? (#5, I’ve Never Kissed a Gundam Pilot)
By the end of this ramble Lark and Heero are so drunk they think Heero is named Duo, Lark is named Relena, Quatre is named Zechs, Wu-fei is named Heero, and Sephiroth is named the planet.
5. Sephiroth Makes Fun Of Everybody (#6, There’s Something About Clowns…)
Trapped in the ramble room with Lark, Sephiroth gets frustrated with his fate being in the hands of those “bunch of idiots who can’t get anything done.” He then does imitations of what he things Rufus, Irvine, Cloud, Laguna, Cid and Reno are doing.
6. “I’m King of the World!” *sweat drops* (#7, Reno: Man of Many Evil Plans)
Sephiroth and Lark are about to kiss when Zell bursts in. Embarrassed at being caught they claim they weren’t about to kiss, but were instead acting out a scene from their favorite movie, ‘Titanic’.
7. Reeve’s Mighty Paperclip (#8, Ward Says You’re Screwed Up!)
When Lark asks him if he has a weapon, Reeve digs through his pocket and produces a paperclip. He claims he can make it a weapon by bending it out of shape. And thus begins Reeve’s weapon being a paperclip.
8. Zell Eats Rufus’ Sandwich (#9, Sun, Sand and Seaweed)
Rufus “made himself the greatest sandwich”, but an unknowing Zell winds up eating it, much to Rufus’ fury.
9. Reno Gets Arrested (part one) (#9, Sun, Sand and Seaweed)
Reno doesn’t believe that you can’t have glass bottles on the beach, and refuses to hand over his beer when a cop arrives to warn him. He ends up being dragged off to jail while a buzzed Noelle just waves good-bye.
10. Wufei’s a Little Teapot (#15, Truth or Hojo)
Wufei chooses dare during a game of truth, dare or firehouse and Reeve dares him to perform I’m a little teapot – hand motions and all. Wufei isn’t thrilled, but does it rather than do the consequence – kiss Hojo on the cheek.
11. Lark and Sephiroth Chat in a Tree (#16, It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To!)
After Sephiroth runs away from his birthday party, Lark finds him sitting in a tree. She tries her best to cheer him up and tells him he can have anything he wants for his birthday. His response is to give her a quick kiss and go back to the party.
12. The We Hate Zell Club Falls Apart (#17, It’s All About Zell)
The we hate Zell club, founded by Seifer, of course, falls apart when Lark, Ashley and Shell throw a We LOVE Zell party and the members of the club want to go. Seifer does his best to try and keep the club together, but to no avail. The final straw is when Lark kisses Zell to prove she really does love him.
13. Lark and Sephiroth’s Limo Ride (#18, And the Award Goes To…)
Sephiroth finally gets to make out with Lark after he wins the best villain in a video game award. Unfortunately for him she’s still not getting the hint.
14. Heidegger Plays the Violin (#20, Nida’s Night Out)
Nida hires Heidegger for ten gil to play his violin during his date with Scarlet. Little does he know Heidegger can only play one song, ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’.
15. The Losers Crash the Party (#21, A Party For All, Courtesy of Rufus Shinra)
The losers manage to fool the door guard, Laguna, by pretending to be other Final Fantasy characters. Hojo pretends to be Sephiroth, Heidegger pretends to be Rufus, Scarlet pretends to be Quistis and Nida pretends to be Squall.
16. Squall Can’t Control Odin (#23, There Are No Gundams In Baseball!)
He appeared in the previous ramble as well, but as Squall points out, even though GF’s aren’t allowed he can’t control Odin. Odin shows up when Squall has a full count and he tries to kill everyone on the other team. Lucky for the Gundam Pilots, they’re so short he missed them.
17. Come Meet the Hugabunch! (#26, That’s What Friends Are For)
When Sephiroth, Twilight and Wufei get together to hang out, Lark and Shell decide it would be funny to switch their bloody movie with a video about the cuddly Hugabunch. This leaves the boys traumatized – not the reaction the girls were expecting.
18. “Mommy, Is That Man Dead?” (#31, Theme Park Nazis (part two))
While at the Magic Kingdom, Lark, Sephiroth, Irvine and Squall hop on a ride called the Peoplemover. Squall falls asleep and ends up alone on the still circling ride.
19. Seifer vs. the Sharks (#32, Theme Park Nazis (part three)
In the Epcot Living Seas exhibit, Ashley torments Seifer about being afraid of the sharks because everything even remotely scary has frightened him on the trip. Unfortunately she winds up pushing his buttons a little too much and he winds up freaking out and ramming himself against the tank.
20. Fireworks (#32, Theme Park Nazis (part three)
After getting into a fight, Lark and Sephiroth end up making up by the Seven Seas Lagoon at the center of Epcot. He gives her a beautiful necklace, and just as he’s going to tell her he loves her, he’s interrupted by the fireworks.
21. Rufus Sells His Employees (#33, Uncle Rufus?!?!)
After the lemonade he’s selling runs out, Rufus decides to sell the people he forced to make it in the first place – his employees.
22. Sephiroth Disappears (#39, What Boredom Will Drive You To)
After doing pretty well in “The Newly Wed Game” Sephiroth finally gets up the guts to kiss Lark. Only after he pulls away he’s so embarrassed he flees the ramble room. Lark later finds out from Vincent that he’s totally gone.
23. Lost and Found (#40, Follow That Seph! (part two)
Lark finally finds Sephiroth again in the basement of the Shinra Mansion. She scolds him for leaving and admits she cares for him a lot and needs him to come back.
24. Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart (#44, Cheap Skate Rude)
Lark and Sephiroth break into song out of nowhere for the first time ever, singing the now infamous “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart”.
25. Reeve Kisses Tseng (#51, Uses For An Empty Bottle)
While playing spin the bottle, Reeve spins it and it lands on Tseng. Although he hesitates at first Reeve forgets about all the people around him, grabs Tseng and kisses him for a long time. This causes Rufus to exclaim, “You are *so* not straight!”
26. The Porch Swing Shows Up (#52, Lark Leonhart)
The porch swing comes out of nowhere in this ramble. All of the sudden a few of the ramble girls are sitting on it. “When did we get this swing?” Shells asks. Noelle informs her that Rufus bought it. “When?” Shell asks. Noelle replies, “Does it matter?” “Guess not,” Shell replies. And so the infamous porch swing is casually introduced.
27. Cloud and Sephiroth Face Off (#54, Sing Your Heart Out! (part two)
While playing FF7, Cloud and Sephiroth get caught up reading the actual game dialogue from after Aeris’ death. Things get a little out of control as Cloud’s remembers a little bit and tries to attack Sephiroth.
28. Sephy Gets Sick (#55, Take One And Call Me In The Morning)
After taking care of a sick Lark, Sephiroth turns up sick the next day. While taking care of the feverish Sephiroth, Lark just brushes him off when he tries and tells her he loves her…even though she kind of does too.
29. Lark Spills Her Secret (#57, Thanks For Nothing, Buddy!)
Lark finally has to tell someone that she likes Sephiroth, so she pulls Reeve and Tseng aside and comes clean. After she leaves they comment about how it’s weird that Lark and Sephiroth like one another and don’t know it! …Yeah. Like they’re the only ones…
30. Rufus Picks His Running Mate (#58, Too Close To Call)
Rufus has to pick a running mate when running for ramble room locker, but he first must tells the rest of the Turks, and Reeve, why he didn’t pick them. Reno because he’s a drunken bum, Elena because she’s a girl, and Reeve and Tseng because they’re always all over each other. So that leaves Rude. “You tried to kill me once,” Rude says. Rufus takes that as his acceptance.
31. Rufus Freaks Over the Kitty (#58, Too Close To Call)
Rufus has Reeve build him a lego model of a house he wants to move into after he wins the election. He then freaks over a lego cat Reeve put in the house and makes Reeve do the whole thing over.
32. Um…Is That a Camera? (#58, Too Close To Call)
After seeing Reeve and Tseng making out in the voting booth, Lark and Sephiroth decide to give it a try…only to discover there’s a camera in there, and Rufus saw the whole thing.
33. Nida – Man of Many Animals (#60, Animal Farm)
After pissing off both Scarlet and Heidegger, Nida finds himself the unwilling recipient of some of Hojo’s potion that changes people into animals – and with no antidote. And because the potion reacted with the tea he drank, he sprouts several different animal parts, instead of turning into something else entirely.
34. Word For Word (#61, Ways To Spell I Love You)
At Reno’s urging, Sephiroth writes Lark a love letter, but he refuses to sign it. Irvine then takes credit for writing it, and reaps all the benefits. When Lark goes to show Sephiroth what ‘Irvine’ wrote, he recites the whole thing for her word for word. Of course she still fails to catch on.
35. Kuja Arrives (#62, Christmas Cheer)
Kuja arrives in loser land, and Heidegger mistakes him as his mail order bride. Kuja quickly points out that he’s a man and for Hojo, it’s lust at first sight.
36. I Love You, Lark! (#62, Christmas Cheer)
Tseng and Reeve buy a bear for Sephiroth to give Lark that says ‘I love you, Lark’ over and over when it’s turned on. Sephiroth accidentally turns it on while talking to Lark and freaks out. In his haste to turn it off he winds up breaking it.
37. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU! (#62, Christmas Cheer)
While trying to tell Lark he wants her for Christmas, Sephiroth enlists Tseng and Reeve into playing the song “All I Want For Christmas” in the background while he’s talking to her. He coughs as an indication to make it louder if she’s not getting the point. Needless to say after awhile no one can hear anything at all.
38. Dkgiwndl Day (#62, Christmas Cheer)
Red goes on a long story about a holiday that they used to have in Cosmo Canyon, proceeding to depress the heck out of everyone.
39. I’ve Got You Babe (#62, Christmas Cheer)
Treize and Zechs debut their trademark song for the first time, hogging the kareoke machine in the process.
40. Sephiroth Kills Tseng (#63, One Winged Angel)
The Turks are the first to try and take Sephiroth on, and Tseng is the last one standing. He tries to talk some sense into Sephiroth, but it’s no use. “Say hello to the devil for me, you Shinra murderer,” are Sephiroth’s last words to him. And that’s the last thing the reluctant Turk leader wants to hear.
41. Sephiroth Overpowers Jenova (#63, One Winged Angel)
After killing every Final Fantasy character in the ramble room, only Vincent and Lark remain. Vincent confronts Sephiroth and his true self begins to stir. Lark gets him to finally take hold of who he really is again, and he collapses to the floor, his reign of terror finally over.
42. Sephiroth Land Theme Song (#66, Sephiroth Land)
After announcing to everyone that he’s building a theme park based on Sephiroth, Rufus forces the Turks to perform the theme song he wrote about it. He then yells at them for going flat at the end.
43. Other Rides To Do (#66, Sephiroth Land)
Twilight has his first encounter with the infamous spelling kid and his mother, who has “other rides to do”. Twilight tries to guess the child’s age while the mother thinks he’s just being funny.
44. Rufus Gets Emotionally Scarred (#66, Sephiroth Land)
Tseng gets revenge on Rufus for emotionally scarring him by giving him a RufusxReno doujinshi. He freaks out and passes out. “What goes around comes around,” Tseng says. Then Reno enters, and Rufus freaks out more, fleeing the place. Curious, Reno picks up the doujinshi. “Well, at least *someone* wanted to bang Reno.”
45. The Wrath of Sephiroth’s Voice (#67, Sun, Snow and Sleds)
Rude and Shell build an award winning model of Sephiroth out of snow. It looks like he’s going to fall on it and destroy it, but he just missed. Sadly he opens his big mouth and his yelling causes the model to collapse.
46. Reno Gets Arrested (part two) (#67, Sun, Snow and Sleds)
Everyone thinks Reno’s going to get arrested for starting a fire in the park, but he doesn’t. Afterwards, however, he finds a parking ticket on his car and rips it up right in front of a cop who he mistakes for Irvine playing a prank. And so Reno is hauled off to jail again.
47. Rufus and the Money Tree (#68, Lark Loves…Hojo?)
Rufus almost steps on a glass vial and he starts going on a tangent about how that could have ruined his loafer and how nothing is free. He continues rambling on about his shoes and it leads into his going on a tangent about what he would do if money grew on trees. Irvine finally has to get him back on track.
48. “The Cow’s *Dead*!” (#69, An Irvine In the Hand Is Worth 7 In The Barn)
After the van breaks down on the way to Irvine’s family ranch, Ashley and Shell have an unfortunate run in with some hicks who keep a diseased sheep and a dead cow in their house. As the girls flee the disgusting shack, Shell has to tell them that there beloved “cow” is dead.
49. Vincent Learns the Truth (#71, Sleepover Girls)
After an embarrassing slip of the tongue, Lark winds up talking with Vincent. He asks her straight out if she’s in love with Sephiroth. She tearfully admits that yes, she is, and she’s crying because she doesn’t want to hurt Vincent and doesn’t know what to say. She runs off, and it seems Vincent is at a loss for words as well.
50. “You Smell Like…Failure.” (#72, Ramble Room Is Falling Down My Fair Larky)
Shell says she read in a magazine that you can tell a lot about a person by how they smell. She then smells all the guys in the room including Rude (Rogaine), Sephiroth (hair gel) and Twilight (dirt) among several others. She jokes Reeve smells like failure.
51. Rufus Breaks the Mirror (#72, Ramble Room Is Falling Down My Fair Larky)
Rufus is looking at his “pretty” self in the mirror on the ramble room wall when it suddenly cracks. Rufus is totally shocked – he was just looking at his pretty face. “You’re still claiming to be pretty?” Tseng says to him. Rufus starts sobbing.
52. 2 Girls Make Out – Kind Of (#73, Losers Losers Everywhere So Let’s All…Run Away)
Noelle wonders if Kuja will make out with her, and Nida cheerfully arranges it because Kuja is so feminine it looks like two girls making out.
53. Reeve + Tseng = Love (#74, I Love You…You Love…Me?)
At dinner on Valentine’s Day, Reeve and Tseng finally admit that they’re in love with each other after hiding it for so long. Somehow, they’re both still shocked.
54. Zell Plants One On Rufus (#76, Till Death Do Us…WHAT?!)
After a night of drunken truth or dare, Rufus winds up married to Zell and he’s not happy about it. Zell wants to stay married but Rufus wants out as quick as possible. While he’s going on a tirade of all the reasons he doesn’t want to be married to Zell, Zell grabs him and kisses him. That shuts Rufus up.
55. Death Of (one of) The Licky-Licky Monster (#76, Till Death Do Us…WHAT?!)
While throwing a tantrum at Zell, Rufus stomps his foot several times. On the last stomp he just happens to crush the licky-licky monster which had been running loose all over the room.
56. Sephiroth Finally Tells Lark He Loves Her (#79, I HATE St. Patrick’s Day!)
After 79 rambles of avoiding it, Sephiroth finally breaks down and tells Lark he’s in love with her after she once again thinks he’s saying he loves St. Patrick’s Day.
57. “I Can’t Do This!” (#80, The One Where Lark Copied The “Friends” Episode)
Tseng is being used to make Lark admit her and Sephiroth are together while Lark is trying to make him and the others think they’re wrong. Things come to the pinnacle when they awkwardly kiss and quickly pull away claiming they can’t do it – they’re both in love with other people.
58. Disappearing Easy Mac (#84, Ha ha! You’re Old!)
A depressed Lark has only Belle for company on her birthday. She makes herself some Easy Mac for lunch and when she goes to get a napkin she comes back to discover Belle has eaten her amazingly crappy lunch.
59. “It’s a Special Blend.” (#86, Rufus Makes A Movie)
Rufus demands a cup of coffee while filming his horrible movie that everyone hates being a part of. He is given a cup by Twilight, and comments that it tastes funny. A snickering Twilight tells him it’ s a “special blend”. …Sure it is.
60. Because That is What an Elephant Do. (#86, Rufus Makes A Movie)
Rufus forces Red to play an elephant in his movie and also sing a stupid song about how much he wants to eat Barret. Red’s performance of the song just leaves everyone speechless…and not in a good way.
61. Lark Gets Her Memory Back (#89, What You Love, You Never Forget)
Lark gets amnesia after hitting her head on the site anniversary. After a nap she wakes up a greets Reeve by name – only he never told her his name when she lost her memory. Sensing she might be starting to remember, the ramble room becomes packed with all the ramble characters. After thinking back on all the past rambles, she does get her memory back.
62. Sephiroth Meets His Mother (#90, Mother, Where Art Thou?)
Sephiroth finally comes face to face with Lucretia after not knowing her his entire life. All he can do is fall at her feet and cry.
63. Lucretia Punches Hojo (#90, Mother, Where Art Thou?)
After learning the truth about what happened concerning Sephiroth’s birth and hearing the story of how Hojo treated Sephiroth as a child, Lucretia returns to loser land and slugs Hojo in the face as soon as he answers the door.
64. Heidegger Meets Stinky (#94, Ye Old Crappiest Vacation Ever! (part one)
While vacationing in Nida’s parents cabin, Heidegger comes face to face with a skunk. At first Heidegger wants to eat him, but after he gets sprayed in the face he decides he likes the skunk and wants to keep him as a pet. He names him ‘Stinky’.
65. Twilight’s Unauthorized Tour (#95, Ye Old Crappiest Vacation Ever! (part two)
Twilight sneaks away from the group at Williamsburg and starts giving a tour to a group of tourists. All his information is horribly wrong and makes very little sense. His tour comes to a quick end once he realizes his nemesis, the spelling kid, and his mother are in the group.
66. The Break-up (#96, Ye Old Crappiest Vacation Ever! (part three)
After having problems, especially on vacation, Sephiroth tells Lark he’s sick of seeing her with Vincent and breaks up with her.
67. Tseng Gets His Revenge (#97, Tseng Gets Fired)
After it’s Rufus’ fault Reeve gets seriously injured, Tseng takes his revenge by sneaking into Rufus’ room in the middle of the night and shaving his name in the back of Rufus’ head.
68. Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart (part two) (#100, Behind The Music (part three)
Lark and Sephiroth reprise their duet after they and everyone else finally manage to patch things up. It’s also a farewell to their respective bands.
69. Algus Makes a Grand Entrance (#104, Splash From the Past (part one)
Algus comes to the ramble room and the first person he meet is Zidane. He refuses to shake his hand and instead makes an immediate bond with Rufus. Rich guys gotta stick together.
70. Noelle+Reno=Love (#105, Splash From the Past (part two)
After being apart for so long, Noelle finally breaks down and admits to Reno that she still loves him. And they finally get back together.
71. Giving Up Baby (#107, Rufus’ Heir)
Rufus adopts a baby boy, but before he completes the paperwork he finds out a living relative for the child mentioned in the parents will has been found and the child must be returned to him. But Rufus and Tseng, who had been taking care of the baby, are heartbroken. Distraught, they go together to return him to the adoption agency. “I’m…never going to get over this,” Rufus shakily admits. They leave the agency in tears.
72. Totally Lost the Message (#109, Mr. Valentine Tells a Rufus Carol)
Rufus has a dream that tries to encourage him to be nice at Christmas and keep that spirit all year. But instead of waking up being filled with that message, he only realizes he dreamed in yaoi.
73. No Presents For You! (#111, A Scooby Dooby Christmas (part two)
Seifer joins everyone else for Christmas at Irvine’s ranch, even though he’s Jewish. On Christmas morning he gets mad because no one wished him Happy Hanukah and all his gifts were wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. Irvine’s quick to point out that those gifts weren’t for him, they were for Sephiroth.
74. Scientist Meets Clown (#112, It’s Possible To Sink Even Lower)
The losers are waiting for their new roommates to arrive, and they’re so excited they actually hear the knock! Hojo puts on a big smile and opens the door to reveal Kefka, dressed in full clown gear. Hojo, who is terrified of clowns, screams bloody murder and runs for his life.
75. Snap Bracelet Trading (#113, The Ramble Room Mafia)
Rufus and the MAFIA come up with an idea to sell snap bracelets to everyone. Their goal is to sell everyone a lot of bracelets because they’re so cheap to get and therefore pretty cheap to sell and they can still turn quite a profit. However to their horror they discover that Reeve came up with the idea to trade them so they don’t have to buy anymore. Furious, Rufus starts beating up poor intelligent Reeve.
76. Reeve and Tseng Tie the Knot (#114, You May Now Kiss The…Groom?)
After being together for several years and getting married in Vegas (which everyone says doesn’t count), Reeve and Tseng finally make things official and get married.
77. Finally Face to Face (#115, The Great Bishounen Snatcher)
Although it’s been assumed that Zack was the one Cloud accidentally married in Vegas, when they finally meet face to face their awkwardness around each other pretty much cements it. They seem to have a problem with their memories, however.
78. That’s Using Your Tongue (#117, I STILL Hate St. Patrick’s Day!)
Bryatt decides to flirt with Setzer and get him to reveal him and Edgar are actually a couple. Tseng gives him the never fail tool of male seduction to help him along – a lollipop. Armed with his lollipop Bryatt quickly gets the information he’s looking for.
79. Trent Varsity Gives It All Away (#119, Here on Varsity’s Island)
When Scarlet and the others come to visit Trent on his private island, Scarlet makes it her mission to break up him and his super model wife so she can get together with him herself. Although she’s actually successful in doing so, Trent is so distraught he chooses to give away his fortune to charity instead of getting together with Scarlet.
80. Burning Down the House (#120, Highly Flammable)
After everyone but Squall manages to neglect a fire they started, the ramble room burns down to ashes, much to the dismay of everyone, especially Lark.
81. Edible and Functional (#123, It’s Called the XCubeStation)
In trying to get his dragon Flamey to come back home, Sephiroth tries a number of different schemes to try and bait the dragon. He goes a bit too far when he ties Auron up with sausage links and drenching him in steak sauce. “How could you tie a person up as bait for your dragon!?” Lark exclaims. “Well you don’t get more ugly and dispensable than that,” Sephiroth tries to reason.
82. Rufus Smashes the TV (#123, It’s Called the XCubeStation)
After playing the “game” Reeve made for Rufus’ new video game system Rufus totally freaks out and tries to shut the system off. When he can’t, he resorts to picking up the system and throwing it through the TV – to the shock of all.
83. Heidegger Gets Laid (#124, Fat Becomes Her)
After LeBlanc becomes infatuated with Heidegger, she actually has sex with him. Everyone is disgusted and confused. “That was the best four and a half minutes of my life,” she remarks afterwards.
84. Rufus Has One All Along (#124, Fat Becomes Her)
After Zell accidentally gets KO’d, Irvine, Sephiroth, Reno and Rufus search the ramble room trying to find another one. No one has any. Just when they’re about to give up Rufus announces that it’s Mr. Jingles’ bath time and produces one from his pocket. When the others confront him about it Rufus maintains it’s for Mr. Jingles’ bath. “You bathe your stuffed animal with a phoenix down?!” exclaims Irvine. “Someday he’ll be a real bear!” Rufus cries.
85. The Prince of ‘Why Is It Dark Out’. (#126, Silver Hair Concerto)
Lark is shocked when she first meets Dracula. He just doesn’t seem to live up to his legend and is totally crazy. According to Alucard the immortality is really catching up with him.
86. U Saw Nothing. (#127, A Vampire In Every Home, And A Gundam In Every Garage)
Lark walks into Sephiroth’s bathroom to find Sephiroth washing Alucard’s hair. She looks totally shocked and just backs out.
87. “Where Are You?” (#128, Some Porn Can Be Bad)
After the girl does not come out of the TV to kill everyone, there is much happiness. Except for Red. Completely distraught about having to still be around Barret and Cid, he puts his head against the TV and moans in misery.
88. The Cactaur Incident (#129, Shinra TV – Now In Color)
To promote his new TV show ‘King Cactuar’s Island’, Rufus has the not so brilliant idea of bringing live cactuars to a crowded shopping mall and encouraging children to give them hugs. He totally forgot about the 1000 needles attack, that is until the terrified cactaurs all start doing it at once. All of this is captured on a live Shinra News broadcast.
89. Tseng, You Are the Father (#130, Who’s Your Daddy)
After doing some detective work after finding out Elena’s pregnant, Rufus finds out the father is an unknowing Tseng.
90. Lark’s Announcement (#131, Being Ward Zaback)
After being gone for the whole ramble, Lark appears at the end and has a big announcement – she’s engaged! Everyone is shocked.
91. Rufus Plants One On Zell (#132, Being Gay A-Okay)
After running out of options, Rufus finally uses his last ditch effort to try and get out of marrying the horrible Ethel Finkle – he pretends he’s gay. And he kisses Zell to prove it.
92. Sephiroth’s Photos (#133, Ow! My Piloting Boobs!)
While Hojo is in the body of Brady he takes advantage of his hotter appearance to make-out with Zidane. When Sephiroth finds out he tries to get some action on film so he can expose Brady as a fraud and break-up him and Lark. His original idea is to get Brady and Auron together, but when Hojo/Brady attacks Vincent he just goes with the flow.
93. Alucard and Sephiroth Get Together?! (#135, Life Is Taxing (part two)
Sephiroth and Alucard are left behind while the rest of the group goes forward to find someone to take away the land bid. They return to find the pair – who previously didn’t really get along – making out. Vincent is very upset and Auron starts to yell at Sephiroth. Hence Vincent and Sephiroth are no more.
94. Shinra Family Reunion (#135, Life Is Taxing (part two)
Rufus finds out Scarlet is the mother of Sunshine, who is also his sister. He didn’t see that one coming!
95. Gotten Used To This Sort of Thing By Now. (#135, Life Is Taxing (part two)
Another anniversary draws to a close and Zell comes in, listing off a whole bunch of things the gang is doing that need to be taken care off. Lark just shrugs it off. She’s got this kind of thing under control by now.
96. Stay Behind Closed Doors. (#137, Come See The Softer Side of Shinra)
Working as a security guard in Rufus’ new department store gives Reno access to the security cameras in the girl’s dressing room. He charges a bunch of people money to come take a look, and when Tseng, Reeve and Bryatt show up to see what’s going on the conversation from behind the door anything but normal.
97. The Irvine Express (#138, The Monster Mash Fiasco)
The gang needs a virgin to foil Dracula’s plot, and they’re not easy to find in the ramble room! Finally they discover that Tifa’s one, and rush outside to tell the others. Unfortunately Irvine remains behind and deflowers their whole plan. “Dude, I don’t even wanna high five you,” Reno says before quietly adding, “Not with everybody around anyway.”
98. Dracula Scars Everyone (#138, The Monster Mash Fiasco)
Mid-plan to take over the world, Dracula forgets what he’s doing and instead starts to dance and rock his hips suggestively. Everyone who is unlucky enough to be watching is horrified. “Kill me. I know it’s impossible, but find a way,” says Alucard. Finally they all manage to escape, leaving an unknowing Death to be scarred as well.
99. What Owlery? (#139, And That’s the Way the Vampires Have Their Picnic)
Alucard is asked by one of his cousins where his dad is. A second later Dracula comes falling down from above landing right on the snack table and sending the food everywhere.
100. Fun With Blood Puke (#139, And That’s the Way the Vampires Have Their Picnic)
After getting drunk off blood and rum at the picnic, Alucard turns into a bat to escape the Belmonts. When he changes back into a human he winds up throwing up – all over Rufus, Algus and the porch swing.
101. Can You Spare a Button? (#140, A Bar, A Restaurant and a Fast Food Disaster)
While working at Rufus’ restaurant Rude gets tipped with a button. And it’s not even a nice button. Of course, Rufus still makes him hand it over, causing Rude to quit.
102. Shut Down Fantastic Drac’s (#140, A Bar, A Restaurant and a Fast Food Disaster)
The health inspector comes to pay Dracula a visit at his fast food establishment. And after viewing blood all over the floor, unsanitary meat conditions and Dracula’s eye on the floor the health inspector has no choice but to shut it down. I’m sure the condition of Dracula’s office didn’t help.
103. Richter Discovers His Date Is A Man (#141, I Am Belmont, Here Me Roar)
After finding out Franswa is not really his son, Richter is sent on dates arranged by his family so he can find someone to father a child. One of those dates is with Kuja, who Richter seems to be into…that is until they make out and Richter discovers a body part no woman has.
104. Knocked Up (#141, I Am Belmont, Here Me Roar)
After having protected sex with Richter Belmont one time, Tifa discovers she’s pregnant. Nothing stops the sperm of a Belmont.
105. Reeve Finds Tseng’s List (#143, School’s In Forever)
Reno and Tseng find themselves a bit bored in high school, so they decide to each write down a list of everyone they slept with and compare. Unfortunately for Tseng, Reeve happens to find his list and he winds up spending hours dissecting it.
106. Shown Up By A Drunk Guy (#143, School’s In Forever)
Rufus decides to send the undereducated Turks to high school, but when a very drunken Reno corrects something that he says, an embarrassed Rufus pulls them all out of school.
107. Elena Goes Into Labor (#144, Lily of the Snow Valley)
On their way to a routine doctor’s appointment, Tseng and Elena are caught in a sudden snowstorm. Of course Elena finally chooses this moment to go into labor, and poor Tseng is stuck delivering his own child.
108. Dracula Gives the Punch an Arm (#145, Thanks But No Thanks)
The vampires crash the Belmont family Thanksgiving and are somehow getting away with their disguises – that is until Dracula’s arm falls off in Rufus’ punch. He then drinks the punch anywhere and declares that it isn’t blood. This ruins their cover and causes the Belmonts to come chasing after them.
109. Rufus Surrenders Mr. Jingles (#146, Homeward Bound – The Ripoff)
When the ramble room pet owners they have to surrender their unlicensed pets for awhile, no one is happy. But everyone is rather confused when Rufus surrenders his beloved stuffed bear, Mr. Jingles. The man from animal control tries to explain to Rufus that Mr. Jingles isn’t real, but Rufus will hear none of it.
110. The Brother He Never Wanted (#149, Three Heads Are Better Than One)
Sephiroth hires a vampire hunter named D to kill Dracula. Little does he know he’s Dracula’s son. Alucard is not happy at all to meet his half-brother, even if his father is thrilled to see ‘Little Drakey’ again.
111. Worthless Award (#150, Sephiroth’s Award)
Sephiroth makes a huge deal about how proud he is to win the Video Game Villain of the Year award and how upset he is at everyone for not supporting him. He goes and accepts the award on television, but back in his room later that night Sephiroth breaks it in half and throws it out. He didn’t accept it because he wanted it, but to just try and prove everyone wrong on the outside.
112. Worst Xmas Present Ever (#151, How Rufus Stole Christmas)
After telling everyone what expensive gift they have to buy for him, Rufus assures everyone that he has an awesome present for them. Everyone is expecting something great and they are all disgusted to find it is a small fruit basket with half-eaten and rotten fruit in it.
113. Devil Without a Shirt (#152, Strip Away Your Problems)
While going door to door looking for Ceberus, Alucard and Sephiroth meet Dante for the first time. He answers the door with his shirt unbuttoned, of course, and he flirts shamelessly with Alucard right in front of Sephiroth. Dante and Alucard hit it off right away, but Sephiroth just makes a new enemy.
114. Al Lets the Wrong Name Slip (#154, Home Is Where You Hang Your Heart)
After sneaking around with Dante behind Sephiroth’s back, Alucard lets the wrong name slip while they’re in bed. Sephiroth is furious and Alucard admits it isn’t working and wants to break up.
115. He’s a Belmont After All (#156, Franswa Revisited)
Franswa finds out from his big mouthed relatives that he’s a Belmont after all, and his real father is Richter’s younger brother, Horatio. The elder Belmonts accuse Horatio of not being a very good Belmont, which sets off poor confused Franswa.
116. “They Never Do.” (#157, To Be a Turk)
Tseng goes on a mission for work where he ends up killing someone out of self defense. When he returns home he just wants to put it out of his mind but Reeve wants to talk about it. “…Did they at least tell you why?” Reeve asks. Tseng’s answer is blunt.
117. Seymour and Kuja Go At It (#159, Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart)
Kuja and Seymour accidentally wind up getting set-up on a blind date with each other on Valentine’s Day. Because they both really wanted to try the restaurant they continue with the date and get drunk in the process. Soon one thing leads to another and they’re making out at their table.
118. Sephiroth’s Drunken Mistake (#160, Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart)
A very lonely Sephiroth decides to get drunk on Valentine’s Day and Zidane joins him. When he wakes up the next morning totally hung over, he doesn’t remember a thing. Needless to say he screams bloody murder when he rolls over and finds a naked Zidane next to him.
119. Zack Makes a Vow to Cloud (#163, Somewhere In My Memory (part two)
After getting his memory back, Zack goes to Cloud and promises him he will do everything in his power to help him remember. As he leaves, Cloud whispers Zack’s name.
120. Mouse With A Mouth (#165, Quit Playing Games With My Head)
Rudy’s head is a scary place where Hanpan is a trash talking mouse with a taste for hookers. He pays Scarlet for sex and then is quite dissatisfied with the end result.
121. The Prince and the Pauper (#167, Asexual Algus)
After ending up in Algus’ lap, Zidane makes a bold move and does something he’s wanted to do for a long time – kiss him. Algus’ response? Nothing. This totally puzzles Zidane.
122. Tea With Mr. Jingles (#168, Mister T. Jangles)
When Rude and Tseng go into business making knock offs of Mr. Jingles, someone has to keep Rufus from finding out. So Tseng winds up spending a lot of time with Rufus, including a tea party with Mr. Jingles where no one actually drinks tea but you have to wear a hat. Thinking of the money, Tseng just grins and bears it.
123. Irvine Plants his SeeD At Last (#169, How Irvine Got His Groove Back)
After failing his SeeD exam the first time he took it, Irvine is coached by his friends for the next test. After the field exam he goes into the room solemn and everyone believes that he failed again. But then he whips out his certificate and proudly proclaims that he passed after all.
124. Rufus Rocks Out (#171, Reno’s ‘Special’ Brownies)
After eating a whole plate of Reno’s pot brownies, the Turks find Rufus singing and getting way too into the Queen song “Bohemian Rhapsody”. The Turks are left speechless.
125. Heidegger Stinks Up the Bathroom (#177, This is Shinra Inc.)
When Reno is trying to get time off to go to rehab (just to get time off work) he discovers he needs Heidegger’s signature on the form. He then ventures into the bathroom, where Heidegger has been all afternoon stinking up the joint. When Reno gets in there he can barely breathe and Heidegger drops the pen in the toilet, but he gets out of there with the signature he needs.
126. Zidane Loses It All (#179, This Is The Life (part two)
After suing Algus, Zidane gets all his money and everything he owns. However, he unwisely invests his money in a scheme cereal company that will bankrupt him or send him to jail. Algus casually offers to help him, for all his assets back, of course. Zidane has no choice but to comply.
127. Natural Born Killer (#181, Brave New Belmont)
After the birth of Duke Belmont, Dracula’s creepy cousin Festus sneaks across the street to have the baby for a snack. However in the morning Tifa wakes up screaming. There’s a dead vampire on the floor! The Belmonts quickly try and find out who killed the vampire, but everyone admits it wasn’t them. Then Richter takes a small stake out of wood out of the baby’s bassinet. “That’s my boy!” he proclaims proudly.
128. Sleeping With Your Employee (#182, Sailing For Adventure (part one)
After admitting that they like one another, Elena and Rufus end up sleeping together. The pair, cautious about what others will think, try to rationalize it to themselves.
129. Twilight Victorious (#185, Sailing For Adventure (part three)
After years of being unable to out read Horace, the infamous ‘Spelling Kid’, Twilight finally has Opal help him read the names of all the arcade games. He then reads them all back to Horace proudly, thinking he has finally won. He then ignores Horace’s congratulations.
130. Tseng Goes Off On Rufus (#185, Sailing For Adventure (part three)
After finding out that Rufus and Elena are together, Tseng all but disappears from the vacation. He finally shows his face on kareoke night where he gets control of the mic and announces he’s going to sing a song called ‘Rufus J. Shinra is a stupid f#$%@#$ asshole’. He then goes on a long tirade where he calls Rufus and Elena a whole bunch of obscenity laden things.
131. Bad Rehearsal (#187, Behind the Music…Again)
Lark and Sephiroth are trying to rehearse the song ‘Almost Paradise’ for their upcoming concert, but Rufus thinks that Lark is being too stiff. Sephiroth, however, seems to be too into the song, at least for Lark. Finally he gets too close for comfort and Lark refuses to sing the song with him. “He’s not acting!” she accuses.
132. One Lap dance He Can’t Turn Down (#188, Too Legit To Strip)
Alucard keeps buying Sephiroth lap dances but they keep being from people Sephiroth just can’t accept them from. Finally Alucard has Sephiroth choose. Little does Sephiroth know he has chosen Tseng. They both stare at each other for a moment. “This is awkward,” Tseng says at last. “Well are you gonna do it, or not,” Sephiroth sighs. At least he finally got one he couldn’t turn down.
133. Yuri the Monster (#189, Tseng Works Hard For the Money)
Because he’s been rather frustrated with his quiet group, Yuri decides that maybe he can get a reaction out of them if he scares them. Unfortunately the plan backfires when his normally oblivious group starts to attack him! Even Squall! Yuri begs Koudelka to help but she simply muses from behind the safety of the two way mirror that this was not the reaction she was hoping for.
134. The Scariest Twins Ever (#189, Tseng Works Hard For the Money)
Tseng is turning into someone else lately, but no one can quite pinpoint who. That is until he and Rufus walk into the room wearing the exact same outfit in contrasting colors. They laugh about it and go get a cup of coffee. Elena and Reeve flabbergasted.
135. Lloyd and the Mystery Date (#190, Love Conquers All)
Lloyd claims to have met a boyfriend online, but Dante thinks he’s just made someone up. However Dante is proved wrong when Lloyd’s date arrives at the house – it’s Hojo. Both seem rather confused. Lloyd was expecting someone hotter and Hojo was expecting someone much younger. Lloyd offers to have sex with him anyway but Hojo turns him down.
136. And I’ll Remember (#190, Love Conquers All)
Zack nearly drives himself crazy trying to snap Cloud out of the state he’s in and finally get him to remember everything. He’s nearly at the end of his rope when finally Cloud is brought back by a casual phrase of frustration.
137. Down Goes the Disco-Center (#191, The Taste of Success)
A huge fight breaks out at the Disco-Center when Chris Redfield comes in to shop and he spots Nightmare. Between the shooting and the flammable merchandise, it’s not long before the employees are outside looking at the smoldering rubble that was once the Disco-Center.
138. The Baker and the Eater (#191, The Taste of Success)
Finally after having secret crushes on each other for so long, Hugh’s big mouth lead to Zell and Franswa finally getting together.
139. Dante Beats Lloyd (#192, Return of the Max)
Lloyd realizes that Dante can’t stand the slash fiction he accidentally found of the twins on the internet. He then uses the fanfiction and fanart to drive Dante crazy. Finally Dante has had enough and he storms upstairs to show Lloyd “who’s the pusher in this relationship!” From the sounds in the room Alucard is assuming the worst. “You…you…didn’t…” he says hesitantly once Dante emerges, putting his shirt back on. “No! Oh god no!” Dante assures him. “I beat the *shit* outta him!”
140. F*ck! I Cursed! (#192, Return of the Max)
In his effort to get Koudelka to like him, Cid agrees to try and curb his cursing. Every time he says a bad word he has to put money in a swear job. Cid doesn’t do too well, but he still makes a bet with Koudelka that he can go a whole day without cursing. Little does he know Koudelka bribes Bowser Jr. to make his life miserable. As Cid chases an unruly Bowser Jr. around the room he is stepping on and tripping over the toys scattered around the floor. He utters plenty of creative words but none of them are bad. That is, until he finds out Bowser Jr. stole his watch.
141. “Don’t Touch the Kid.” (#192, Return of the Max)
After finding out that Max is being abused in his new home, Rufus insists on getting legally custody back and he takes the Turks with him. Things don’t go very smoothly, and even though Rufus repeatedly asks the man not to touch Max, he doesn’t listen until Tseng turns up with a gun. In the end, Rufus takes Max away from that horrible place, and Tseng finishes what he started.
142. Rufus Brand Condoms Don’t Work (#192, Return of the Max)
After getting Max back, Rufus happily tells Elena that he’s a father again! Little does he know, he’ll soon be a father three times over! “But we used protection!” shouts Rufus. “…A Rufus brand condom,” Elena reminds him. Despite the surprise, Rufus is overjoyed.
143. Rufus and Elena Tie the Knot (#192, Return of the Max)
After discovering that Elena’s pregnant, Rufus proposes to her and they have a lavish and beautiful wedding.
144. Up Goes the Gas Station (#194, Fall of the House of Ramble)
After all the employees leave their stations at Rufus’ gas station to come talk to him across the street, Rufus gets annoyed. “Something better be on fire!” he exclaims. Not a even a moment later the whole place is engulfed in flames. No one is quite sure what happened, but it probably had something to do with Mojo, the walking fire hazard.
145. Death of a Clown (#195, Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way)
After smelling something horrible, the losers venture up to the attic to find the source. That’s when they discover Kefka’s dead body, which has clearly been there for a long time. “Oh,” Kuja remarks.
146. Silver Hair Rumble (#195, Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way)
While playing football on opposite teams, members of Dante’s team accuse Twilight of cheating. Sephiroth and Dante once again wind up in each other’s face about it. Only this time weapons are drawn and they go to strike one another. But Vincent stands between them and sacrifices his claw to put a stop to their violent fight. “Hurting someone won’t make you feel better,” he chides Sephiroth. But he just stomps away.
147. Sephiroth and Vincent (#196, Time Heals No Wounds)
After getting a dismal prediction of the future, Sephiroth goes straight to Vincent and they make love. Afterwards, however, Sephiroth quickly gets up and tells Vincent this was all a mistake. “Just tell me why it has to be like this?” a confused Vincent pleads. Sephiroth roars, “Because you mean nothing to me!”
148. Sephiroth’s Plea (#197, Be My Valentine)
When Vincent is near death, Sephiroth finally finds the words and pours his heart out, saying all the things he’s been holding back for so long.
149. Because Franswa Got High (#198, Truth Be Told)
After accidentally eating the pot brownies he baked for Reno, Franswa accidentally reveals to all his relatives that they’re descended from Dracula.
150. Lark Becomes an Honest Woman (#199, To Have and To Hold)
After some stressful planning and being engaged for quite some time, Lark and Brady finally get married.