#133 – Ow! My Piloting Boobs!

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Nida: *reading one of the tubes* “Uh, Ashley… Does ‘take rectally’ mean what I think it means?”

Originally Published: 4/17/05 . 42 pages

Synopsis
Hojo has a plan to switch the bodies of the losers with the bodies of the ramble girls! Will this be the plan that finally works?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I consider this my favorite ramble of all time – I just think it’s hilarious. When I originally came up with the concept, the losers were only supposed to take over the bodies of the ramble girls, but I screwed with that concept a little and I’m glad I did. One thing does bother me about this ramble though. Vincent makes out with Brady no problem and Sephiroth barely has a problem with it. I can see Sephiroth shrugging it off for the “greater good” (according to him) but why would Vincent “cheat” on Sephiroth? Especially considering what happens only a few rambles away, it’s a hard thing to ignore. But let’s do just that! Or say that the potion made Hojo/Brady hard to resist or something. Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s say that.

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#132 – Being Gay A-Okay

Posted on July 24, 2011 by L.J.

Rufus: *paling* “Oh my god, I hate myself.”

Originally Published: 4/15/05 . 32 pages

Synopsis
Rufus has agreed to marry this horrible woman and now he regrets it big time! Will he be able to get out of it?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

One of the many ideas I had scribbled down in my “ramble notebook”. Due to how Rufus acted toward the likes of Tseng and Reeve in past rambles, I thought he had to finally grow up on the subject and finally accept that there’s nothing wrong with two guys kissing. My favorite ways he tries to get out of marrying Ethel is probably trying convince her he has an incurable STD and that he’s an alcoholic. But my favorite part of the ramble is the end where he’s trying to decide who he wants to kiss and ends up picking Zell after all.

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#131 – Being Ward Zaback

Posted on July 24, 2011 by L.J.

Ward: Kiros, if I had my anchor right now…it would be Aeris and Sephiroth all over again. And we all know who’d be Aeris.

Originally Published: 3/30/05 . 15 pages

Synopsis
It’s hard being Ward. Get into his head to find out just how hard it is to be around Kiros all the time.

Ramble Milestones
-Lark and Brady get engaged.

Hello, 2 rambles that were combined into one! I had the idea to have a ramble focusing on poor Ward, who gets no respect, and I took the fight idea to have there be something going on. The result? It’s solid enough. As for the ending, well, I was engaged in real life, and decided to incorporate it into the rambles. The slutty Lark days are over! It’s funny – if you go by ramble #’s, Brady and I were together for 11 rambles before getting engaged. However, if you look at the dates on those rambles, it’s a bit better.

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#130 – Who’s Your Daddy?

Posted on July 24, 2011 by L.J.

Tseng: “Hojo? God above, shouldn’t this all be illegal?!”

Originally Published: 3/28/05 . 32 pages

Synopsis
When everyone finds out Elena’s pregnant, a few different guys think they’re the dad!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I had this concept and had written a chunk of this one before it eventually went up. I had it stewing in my ‘in progress’ folder for months because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go there – introduce a kid to the ramble room permanently. You know what they say on sitcoms when someone has a baby… But I decided to go with it – I had a lot of characters and the baby would be very minor. Besides, these characters gotta grow up a little! You can probably tell I was struggling a bit with the morality of what Elena does in this ramble – we haven’t seen this much drama in awhile! But there’s plenty of humor too, especially involving Irvine praying he’s not the father.

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#129 – Shinra TV – Now In Color

Posted on July 24, 2011 by L.J.

Rufus: “God, I love that damn cactus!”

Originally Published: 3/23/05 . 55 pages

Synopsis
Rufus and the MAFIA start a TV channel, and their friends get to star in the shows!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I had a huge list of ideas for this ramble, and most of them made the cut, which is why it turned out so long! This ramble only has a few uneven sections (the Sesame Street parody totally fell flat) – most of it is pretty funny. My favorite shows are Turks, Legal Case, the news and Professor Hojo’s World. (I used to watch a show called Mr. Wizard’s World as a kid.) Of course there’s also anything involving Rufus and the cactaurs. I’m glad I limited some of the shows to just one segment – like Reno’s cooking show and Treize, because they worked great once. I remember when I was writing this there was so much going on I had to eventually outline the rest of it so I could get it done. That’s something I almost never did in the old days, but I would more often going forward.

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#128 – Some Porn Can Be Bad

Posted on July 24, 2011 by L.J.

Barret: “Yo! This ain’t cool! I don’t want no punk ass bitch comin’ outta no TV to waste my ass!”

Originally Published: 9/22/05 . 27 pages

Synopsis
The guys thought they were going to watch a porno, but it winds up being a death tape! Will these next seven days be their last?.

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

Honestly, I am no horror movie fan, so I’ve never actually seen The Ring or the original movie, Ringu. Still, I absolutely love this ramble. I’m not sure what I love more, the losers planning Heidegger’s death, or Red bemoaning the fact that nothing arrived to kill Barret and Cid. Also, poor Vincent and the most romantic moment he’ll have all year. This one was also originally titled “Bad Television! No Cookie!” Which is quite possibly the worst title ever, so I just had to change it.

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#127 – A Vampire in Every Home, and a Gundam in Every Garage

Posted on July 17, 2011 by L.J.
Reno: “That’s it! I’ve had it with them! We don’t recycle shoes where I come from! Who wants those jerks gone?”

Originally Published: 9/2/04 . 30 pages

Synopsis
The vampires and the Gundam Wing guys all wind up staying at the ramble room at the same time! The Final Fantasy guys aren’t thrilled about sharing their rooms. Can they get rid of these unwanted house guests?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

The moment where Lark walks in on Sephiroth washing Alucard’s hair is one of my favorite ramble moments ever. It’s one of the many moments in the rambles where I really wish it was a cartoon and people could actually see it – there is a lot of visual humor here which doesn’t translate 100% to just the written word. Anyway, this ramble was originally called “A Pilot in Every Home, and a Gundam in Every Garage” and it was just supposed to feature the Gundam pilots. But then I realized I couldn’t live without Alucard and Dracula so I shoehorned them in there. Other things I love in this ramble include Twilight’s “twin” and everything Shadow does.

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#126 – Silver Hair Concerto

Posted on July 17, 2011 by L.J.
Lark: “Aw, I’m sorry, Alucard. What turned your dad from the prince of darkness to the prince of ‘why is it dark out’?”

Originally Published: 7/17/04 . 40 pages

Synopsis
Lark has been kidnapped by vampires, and it’s up to the ramble guys to save her!

Ramble Milestones
-Dracula, Alucard and Death show up.
-The Belmont’s first appearance.

This is the ramble that got me interested in writing the rambles again. And you have 2 vampires and the men who hunt them to thank for that. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is one of my favorite games of all time, and I was replaying it at the time, thinking it would be funny if the ramble gang had to go into Dracula’s castle. The idea of Dracula being totally out of it came up (and looking back on it now, Dracula’s pretty darn with it compared to how he is later.), and of course I had to put the Belmonts in there too. I used the most famous ones, and then created Franswa, the Belmont who wants nothing to do with it. I know his name isn’t spelled the way it typically is – I did that on purpose, because I don’t like the way it’s spelled normally. These were supposed to be one shot characters, but I fell in love with them and knew immediately they were going to come back.

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#125 – Rufus Brand Everything

Posted on July 17, 2011 by L.J.
Tseng: *softly* “Each new product is another one of my nightmares.”

Originally Published: 7/11/04 . 24 pages

Synopsis
Rufus is going into business – on everything! Meanwhile, in loser land, Scarlet find out her daughter wants to meet her! Will mother and daughter have a happy reunion?

Ramble Milestones
-Sunshine’s first appearance.

This was the ramble that went along with the launch of Buy-Shinra.com, and it’s also the first ramble where Rufus’ sister Sunshine shows up, so a lot of things are happening here. Buy-Shinra.com was supposed to be a lot more elaborate than it ended up being, but due to lack of time I never did wind up completing my vision. Still love the domain name, though. Obviously. My favorite Rufus product introduced here is the do it yourself Botox kit, which is obviously seen again. The only other products that really get talked about are the footwear and the condoms. Now, as for Sunshine, I had the idea of Scarlet getting knocked up by President Shinra for awhile, and it only seemed natural that Nida would be attracted to her. After all, he clearly likes her older, extremely less attractive mother. Oh, and Vincent makes poor Sephiroth watch The Bachelor. Poor, poor Sephy. This ramble also had a subtitle: Everybody Needs a Little Sunshine in Their Life.

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#124 – Fat Becomes Her

Posted on July 17, 2011 by L.J.
Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! I think I ate my fork!”

Originally Published: 7/11/04 . 21 pages

Synopsis
Seymour’s friend, LeBlanc, comes for a visit and falls in love with Heidegger! Meanwhile at the ramble room, Zell accidentally chokes to death, and it’s up to Reno, Irvine and Sephiroth to find a phoenix down!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

This is LeBlanc’s one and only appearance. I love Final Fantasy X-2, but she is one of the most obnoxious characters, so it was fun to make her crazy. I’m a big fan of this ramble and it’s simple yet hilarious sub-plot. Some day he’ll be a real bear.

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