#143 – School’s In Forever

Posted on August 13, 2011 by L.J.

Hojo: “The answer is he would have one piece of clothing left and I would have a sexy half naked man on my hands! Now, onto addition…”

Originally Published: 11/05/05 . 63 pages

Synopsis
When Rufus finds out Reno, Rude and Tseng never graduated high school, he decides to send them back! Algus decides to send Zidane too. Can the four of them survive high school — with Hojo as a teacher?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

There’s a lot I like in this ramble – especially Dracula’s whole line about the kitties, which just may be my favorite line I ever wrote. This is also the only time Alucard talks to his pet bat Buttons, who’s in love with him. I intended for Buttons to appear more but that never really panned out. There’s a lot of great stuff involving high school in this ramble – I guess you can tell I kind of liked to write about high school since I also wrote all those dreams where the characters were in high school. The only thing here that was actually taken from my high school experience was when Reno brings the Snapple bottle full of booze to school. Some kids in my art class when I was in 9th grade did this. I was offered a sip but declined. I was a good kid.

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#142 – Halloween Is For Vampires

Posted on August 13, 2011 by L.J.

Dracula: “Alucard, why are you crying? Did the vampires scare you? Because there’s no such thing as vampires!” *pause* “Wait. Even I know that’s not right!”

Originally Published: 10/30/05 . 16 pages

Synopsis
Sephiroth decides to spend Halloween at Alucard’s. This is one holiday he won’t soon forget!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

Honestly, I don’t love any of the Halloween rambles, but I guess this one is my favorite. I have either seen most of the vampire movies mentioned here or I got them off IMDB – except for Planet of the Vampires. I was at one of those haunted houses that pop up around Halloween time and was waiting in a long line. They had TVs around with old cheesy movie trailers playing and Planet of the Vampires was one of those movies. I thought it sounded hilarious. Zidane and Franswa also don Zell’s old Halloween costumes in this ramble – too bad he was never anything good, although it did lead to the slave jokes, so I guess I can’t complain.

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#141 – I Am Belmont, Hear Me Roar

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Trevor: “Insanity! Women once lined up for a chance to be impregnated by a Belmont!”

Originally Published: 10/12/05 . 43 pages

Synopsis
When Richter finds out Franswa’s not really his son, his family forces him to go father a real heir. Meanwhile, Franswa feels left out. Will living at Alucard’s really make him feel better?

Ramble Milestones
-Richter turns out not to be Franswa’s dad.
-Duke is conceived.

This is the only ramble to feature an IM conversation. This was an actual conversation I had with my then boyfriend over actual AOL screen names I made up just to write this ramble. He wrote Zell, and I wrote Franswa. I really came to like Franswa as a character – he started off as just this sissy Belmont who was basically there for comedy, but as the Belmont’s took on a bigger role in the rambles, Franswa did as well. And I realized that he couldn’t be a “true” Belmont. So that’s where this story came from. There are some good moments from other characters in this one as well – I love Richter’s dates (especially with Kuja!) and Sephiroth and his relationship with coffins. Alucard acts like a total teenager a lot when he’s with Sephiroth, but especially in this one, where he bitches about not getting attention from his dad after he’s been bitching that he doesn’t want the attention. Who says you have to mature after 600 years? As for the moment where he snaps something so nasty in French he makes even Sephiroth gasp in surprise? You can use your own imagination on that one.

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#140 – A Bar, A Restaurant and a Fast Food Disaster

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Dracula: “Do you want to see the rusty saws we cut the meat with?”

Originally Published: 9/30/05 . 73 pages

Synopsis
Reno and Irvine are starting a bar, Rufus is starting a restaurant, and Dracula is opening a fast food place! Who will survive in the food service business?

Ramble Milestones
-Uncle Shenanigans opens.

I love this ramble. Despite it’s length I’ve read it numerous times. I love it because besides being funny, it involves a lot of different characters and it’s paced well – meaning it doesn’t drag or have filler. Usually the long ones have a lot of crap that just doesn’t belong. Anyway, Dracula’s obsession with fast food restaurants led me in this direction. Reno and Irvine’s bar was an idea I had been kicking around awhile. And I couldn’t leave Rufus out of the fun! I wish I could tell you why I chose the song Mandy or where that idea even came from, but I just don’t remember. I do know why I made Tseng cut his hair though – I just thought he looked so cute with the ponytail in the Before Crisis art. Besides, it fit in with his new obsession with making money. Now let’s talk Zell and Franswa a second. Obviously, they came out of nowhere. I never intended to put them together. They were another one of those couples that just happened – I love when that happens. I seriously was going to make them kiss in this ramble, but I decided to put it off. I did this a lot with them. I like instant gratification, but from a story point of view, you gotta drag that stuff out! If I talked about everything I liked about this ramble this would be as long as the ramble itself, but I do have to comment on Dracula remarking that one of his shrunken heads smells like failure. I totally forgot about that, but that calls back a moment in an old ramble where Shell told someone they smelled like failure.

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#139 – And That’s the Way the Vampires Have Their Picnic

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Dracula: “To the owlery!”

Originally Published: 9/19/05 . 18 pages

Synopsis
It’s time for the vampire family picnic, and Alucard is not very happy about it. Can he manage to get through it with Sephiroth by his side? Or will the Belmonts take them all down?

Ramble Milestones
-First appearance of Alucard’s family, including Uncle Herb.
-First time Alucard gets drunk.

I’m a big fan of this ramble, mostly because I love writing about Alucard, so having his whole family to work with was a lot of fun. There are two moments in this ramble that would have been hilarious to actually see – where Dracula comes crashing down on the snack table and the ending. The ending is actually my favorite ramble ending of all time. The ramble is also one of my favorites – there are a lot of funny lines and drunk Alucard is always good for a laugh.

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#138 – The Monster Mash Fiasco

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Alcuard: *hand to head* “Kill me. I know it’s impossible, but find a way.”

Originally Published: 9/19/05 . 37 pages

Synopsis
Dracula and his monster pals are planning evil! Can the ramble gang stop him for another 100 years?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

This was inspired by the awesomely campy movie Monster Squad, which everyone must watch. The basic plot – Dracula gathering the monsters, trying to stop him with the box and the medal and the virgin – that’s all borrowed from the movie. Everything else is pure ramble. Finding a virgin was pretty hard – I love how Irvine screws (haha) up the whole plan. And Dracula’s plan to lure children that he forgets about suddenly. The end of this ramble was actually conceived over IM. Most of the dialogue was composed there, and I just had to flesh it out a bit to make it work.

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#137 – Come See the Softer Side of Shinra

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Seymour: “You? At a make-up counter? That’s like King Kong at Baby Gap.”

Originally Published: 7/21/05 . 39 pages

Synopsis
Rufus has started his own department store, but with Mr. Jingles in charge, can things really run smoothly?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

At the time a friend of mine worked at a department store, and I came up with this idea while visiting her. Rufus apparently tricked Sephiroth into going to the store by telling him it was the museum of torture devices, which I totally forgot about. Then he’s mean to poor Vincent. All my favorite stuff here involves Reno and the security cameras – especially Seifer and his pants and Bryatt’s line about how no one wants to know what’s going on in there. There are a lot of good lines in here – I like how this one came out.

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#136 – The Church of Reno

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Reno: “According to the church of Reno, a party is likely to pop up at any time. And strippers may or may not be present.”

Originally Published: 6/7/05 . 7 pages

Synopsis
Reno has started a club focused on the things he knows best – sex and booze!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

This idea came to me at a graduation party. I had a drink in each hand because someone had given me something to try, and I made a crack about the “Church of Reno”. Then I decided that was something I definitely had to write.

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#135 – Life Is Taxing (part two)

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Kiros: “Ward says Laguna can be presumed dead by now! Let’s go!”

Originally Published: 5/30/05 . 50 pages

Synopsis
Will the gang be successful in convincing the bidders that the land is no good? Or will they be forced to relocate?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

Boy, there are a lot of family reunions and reoccurring characters in these rambles. My favorite being Trent Varsity and Sunshine. I hadn’t read this pair in awhile and I forgot how funny they were. Usually if I use too many characters things get a little crazy, but that didn’t really happen here. Okay, let’s talk Sephiorth and Alucard. When I went to write this ramble I honestly was not planning on making that happen. It was one of those things that “wrote itself”. I’m glad it happened because it allowed for a lot of Sephiroth and Vincent drama down the road. Here is a confession – the whole thing with Cait Sith being blamed for the tax evasion, something similar happened on The Simpsons where Mr. Burns said a canary was the real owner of the plant. And I love the ending here, with all the crazy things everyone is doing and Lark’s response, which calls back the end of the very first ramble.

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#134 – Life Is Taxing (part one)

Posted on August 6, 2011 by L.J.

Laguna: “Psychic bears! Yikes! They’ll swipe more than your picnic basket!”

Originally Published: 5/30/05 . 65 pages

Synopsis
When Rufus is jailed for tax fraud, the land on the ramble room is put for sale to the highest bidder! Can the ramble gang save their land?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I wanted something big to happen for the anniversary this year, and I thought nothing was bigger than the idea of our ramble room possibly being taken away! So then I had to come up with who could possibly try and take the land. That meant coming up with rich people. So, I dug into my Gundam Wing well again, using Relena, a character I’ve always despised from that series. Then there was Resident Evil, a series I appreciate but cannot play because I’m scared of everything. (Little did I know at the time there was a lot more Resident Evil to come!) I’m a big fan of the Animal Crossing series, so Tom Nook was an obvious choice, and I had a little help coming up with the Zeus aka “God of War” angle. (My least favorite, honestly.) Then there’s the psychic summer camp from Psychonauts, a game I’ve played many times and is one of my favorites ever. If you have not yet played this game, you are depriving yourself. It’s amazing.

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