#182 – Sailing For Adventure (part one)

Bryatt: “Elena? Whoring around? Tseng, you invented whoring around.”

Originally Published: 7/28/06 . 50 pages

Synopsis
The MAFIA takes everyone on the first voyage of their new cruise ship! Everyone’s ready for tons of fun on the high seas!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I love all the ramble trips, but this is far and away my favorite, thanks to all the drama, drunks and anime cameos. I’ve been on a few cruises myself and I love them. My sister and I were always down for some trivia. There’s so much going on here that most of the characters only have a small role and a reoccurring joke or two – including the losers who just provide some good old fashioned comic relief. The title is taken from a song in Muppet Treasure Island.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

#181 – Brave New Belmont

Simon: “You put it up there! Now get it back down!”

Originally Published: 7/22/06 . 47 pages

Synopsis
It’s time for Tifa and Richter to have their baby! But Dracula’s scary cousin Festus has moved in to the castle…and he’s got Belmont baby on the menu for his next meal!

Ramble Milestones
-Duke Belmont is born.
-We meet other members of the Belmont family.

I really enjoy this ramble and all the family drama that comes with it. I’ve always found the monster from Nosferatu pretty damn terrifying, so I thought it would be interesting to have a character like that show up.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#180 – The [Bleep-ing] Awesome Adventures of Briter Bran

Tinker Shell: “I’m not a pixie. I’m a fairy. Pixies are whores.”

Originally Published: 7/15/06 . 41 pages

Synopsis
Lark has a dream that the ramble gang are characters in Peter Pan.

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

This is the last of the parodies that I did for the regular rambles, and I quite enjoy it. Peter Pan really is a jerk and so I thought it would be funny to portray him as a cursing jackass. You might notice a little continuity error here – Larky can’t understand Tinker Shell in the real world, but when they get to Neverland she suddenly can. That’s easily explained because clearly she can understand the fairy in the magical Neverland. Because I said so. I can’t go ahead and say this is my favorite parody I ever did, but I really enjoy the way it came out.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

#179 – This is the Life (part two)

Algus: “I’d rather eat my words than your cancerous cereal.”

Originally Published: 6/25/06 . 19 pages

Synopsis
Zidane’s spending is almost out of control. Will his new investment prove to be a good move?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I had a bit of difficulty naming this ramble. When I was looking for a montage song, This Is the Life was suggested to me and I thought it also made a fitting title. The quote above is also one of my favorite lines from a ramble ever. Algus is a very funny character because his perspective on things is so skewed. But he can even be funny when he’s just telling it like it is.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#178 – This is the Life (part one)

Zidane: “Where do you think you’re going? Clean up this mess you made or you’ll be showering with soap on a rope in prison!”

Originally Published: 6/25/06 . 50 pages

Synopsis
Zidane sues Algus and wins! Now he gets all Algus’ money and Algus is stuck being his servant. How will Zidane use his new found wealth?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I love this set of rambles. I enjoy the Algus and Zidane relationship. It’s fun to see how Algus reacts when the tables are turned, and how Rufus treats him like he’s dead.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#177 – This Is Shinra Inc.

Rufus: “I don’t want to relate to them! They probably have diseases!”

Originally Published: 6/9/06 . 41 pages

Synopsis
A typical day at Shinra: Reno’s slacking off, Reeve’s solving the mystery of the missing office supplies and Rufus is trying to improve his public image. But there’s something strange going on in the bathroom…

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I love Shinra. Obviously. So it was only a matter of time before I wrote a ramble revolving around a day at the company. I think the storylines in this one come together pretty well – the only one that doesn’t is Scarlet’s, but her phone conversation with Kuja (“Don’t breathe it in.”) is kind of classic anyway. But I must say, as much as I love Reno’s quest for free time off and Rufus’ quest for a commercial that doesn’t portray him as the selfish, greedy jerk he is, Heidegger steals the show in this one. Just thinking about that bathroom makes me shudder.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#176 – Snake In Da House

Shadow: *sings* “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a doggy! Won’t you be mine? Won’t you be mine? Won’t you be my doggy!”

Originally Published: 6/2/11 . 16 pages

Synopsis
Solid Snake is convinced there is terrorist activity going on in the ramble room – and he’s on the case!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

Yet another ramble that was better in concept. There is decent stuff in here, but basically it’s one big set-up for future rambles. And I hate the title now, though I liked it at the time.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

#175 – The Not So Great Outdoors

Lark: “I’m ready for an anniversary where something doesn’t go horribly wrong. I think me getting amnesia, the ramble room burning down, and almost losing all our land are enough to last us a long while!”

Originally Published: 5/31/06 . 34 pages

Synopsis
When Brady wins a camping trip, everyone decides to go along and celebrate the ramble room anniversary. But will being stuck outside bring out the best in people…or the worst?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I swear I had this camping idea for years before I finally decided to actually write it. I always liked to do a trip or something for the anniversary. Anyway, it came out okay I guess, but this is my least favorite anniversary ramble. Camping should have been much whackier. Believe it or not I’ve never actually been camping, so that didn’t help the writing process any. Also, Irvine was kind of cranky in this one, huh? But I guess it’s expected after he had to set up like 10 tents.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#174 – A Day In the Life of Mr. Jingles

Koudelka: *grimaces* “…If you two are doing it, I don’t even wanna know.”

Originally Published: 5/18/06 . 19 pages

Synopsis
Just as a the title says. See what a typical day is like in the life of a pampered stuffed bear.

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

This one seemed funnier when it was a concept, but there is some good stuff in there. It’s hard to write much about a bear that doesn’t talk. The ending just kind of happened as well – I didn’t start writing this ramble with the intention that Rufus and Elena would kiss. This happens with the rambles a lot.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#173 – Tag Sale of Horrors

Algus: “I’m not running a charity organization here. If you don’t want to pay a fair price for my used undergarments, no noble is holding a gun to your head.”

Originally Published: 5/6/06 . 29 pages

Synopsis
Everyone on the block is having a tag sale and getting rid of their junk. Rufus is selling stuff he can’t even get rid of from his discount center, Dante is selling Lloyd’s stuff, and everyone seems to be selling stuff Sephiroth gave them! Will the sale be a success?

Ramble Milestones
-Chris moves in with Dante.

This one is a hodge podge with a lot of good stuff crammed in. The “room” Rufus sells that no one can get in is from ‘Some Porn Can Be Bad’. I had a hard time thinking up a tile for this one and I don’t love the result.

Continue reading

Posted in The Final Stretch | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment