#84 – Ha ha! You’re Old!

Posted on May 15, 2011 by L.J.
Rude: *sigh* “This is the worst day ever.”

Originally Published: 4/18/01 . 106 pages

Synopsis
It’s Lark’s birthday, and the gang has planned a huge surprise party! Only everyone is running late! Sephiroth gets stuck on a talk show, Zidane gets trapped under an inflatable jumping castle, and Squall and the gang are in jail! Will anyone make it to the party?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

When I use ALL the ramble characters the finished piece usually ends up being kind of uneven, hence the issue with this INSANELY long one. For a long time afterwards it was the longest ramble I’d ever done. Ignoring the crazy weird timeline in this one, it’s got good parts, bad parts and neutral parts. Let’s focus on the good – I like all the TV station stuff, as well as Irvine’s plot line with the hay. (Austin’s comment about “we all like hay, but come on”, amused me.) There’s also Shell and Rude in the parking garage (Even if it was kind of ripped off from Seinfeld – I love the part where they steal the car. Totally forgot about that.) and Wufei at Treize and Zechs’ house. The ones I hate include Zidane being trapped in the jumping castle (Really?) and Quatre and Trowa waiting “5 – 10” minutes for the cake. (Really ripped off from Seinfeld.) But the ones I truly despise are Katie and the bunnies and Cloud’s gang and the skit that goes nowhere. My favorite thing is probably when the losers show up dressed as other FF characters. Also, Barret gets his finger stuck in a jukebox, which really happened to my sister as a kid. And I have no idea what half the Japanese words Wufei says mean. At the time I was taking Japanese, but it’s long since flown out of my head.

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#83 – The Night More Than the Couch Was Stolen

Posted on May 15, 2011 by L.J.
Shell: “Well I hope they find these creeps! Not only did they beat up my sister and two hotties, but they took the stuff! Could they be even more evil??”

Originally Published: 4/10/01 . 31 pages

Synopsis
While Lark, Reeve and Irvine are relaxing in the ramble room, thieves come and rob them at gunpoint. Can their friends help them through this difficult time?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

This ramble is over drama city. I had such a positive response to my previous “all serious” ramble, so I tried it again. I’m not the biggest fan of this one. There is some decent stuff in here, but mostly this one is pretty skippable. I like all the sections with Shell and Rude and her burglar alarm. And the scene between Squall and Irvine is probably the best writing in the whole thing. Other than that, it’s kind of a bummer.

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#82 – An Incredibly Short and Stupid Ramble

Posted on May 15, 2011 by L.J.
Twilight: “I glued a quarter to the floor. He spent an hour and a half trying to pick it up!”

Originally Published: 4/1/01 . 4 pages

Synopsis
Everyone’s sick of Twilight playing pranks. It’s time for some payback!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I’m pretty sure this was the shortest ramble I ever wrote – apparently I wrote it in 15 minutes. It’s amusing. I like it. It’s also 4 pages, so I can’t find much more to say.

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#81 – White, Fluffy and Set to Kill

Posted on May 15, 2011 by L.J.
Lark: “EVERYONE is cowering in fear on the couch! Even Sephiroth!”

Originally Published: 3/29/01 . 31 pages

Synopsis
When Belle, Lark and Shell’s dog visits, she’s not very friendly, especially when she starts to talk!

Ramble Milestones
-Belle’s first appearance.

This ramble is definitely weird. But it’s also kind of funny. The thing about Belle was that she really didn’t like strangers. Around our house we used to make her talk and say all kinds of crazy things like she does in the ramble. Belle passed away in 2008, and she’s definitely been missed. You couldn’t say that dog didn’t have a unique personality! Also, I totally forgot about the game we play where blindfolded people hit each other with newspapers. Talk about random. I actually forgot that game existed.

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#80 – The One Where Lark Copied the “Friends” Episode

Posted on May 11, 2011 by L.J.
Tseng: “Why the leather pants? And why this shirt? Reeve, this whole outfit screams ‘I am gay’.”

Originally Publishe: 3/20/01 . 21 pages

Synopsis
Lark and Sephiroth don’t want anyone to know they’re finally together, but Vincent, Reeve and Tseng are on to them and want to have a little fun! Tseng hits on Lark, but when she flirts back they start to wonder if they’re the only ones playing a game…

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

Yeah, this one takes the basic plot from the Friend’s episode, The One Where They All Find Out. But that doesn’t make me love it any less. This one is just hilarious. Especially Tseng. I love when Sephiroth tells Lark that Tseng doesn’t know what her breasts are. Another thing I have to say about this ramble is that it only features 6 characters, a definite first. And I like how I didn’t try to insert a meaningless, stupid subplot. For once.

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#79 – I HATE St. Patrick’s Day!

Posted on May 11, 2011 by L.J.
Rufus: *light bulb* “Maybe I should invent one! ‘Smells like sex cologne: for the guy who can’t get any’.”

Originally Published: 3/16/01 . 27 pages

Synopsis
Lark thinks St. Patrick’s Day is Sephiroth’s favorite holiday, but after a fateful meeting with her, will Sephiroth really love it, or will he hate it more than ever?

Ramble Milestones
-Lark and Sephiroth get together

Yes, Lark and Sephiroth! Please get together already so your relationship can run it’s course. Seriously though, I was planning this for a long time. Too bad the rest of the ramble clearly shows no planning at all. Aside from a few lines from Reno, the losers and Rufus and his cologne, this one isn’t very funny. You can also tell I was into the musical The Full Monty at the time (which is fabulous if you like musicals), but it’s like a total waste of time shoving it in here for basically no reason. I used to do this kind of thing a lot in the old days and I drives me nuts now. Interesting tidbit about Lark and Sephiroth though – I never intended for them to get together when I started writing these things. One of the many relationships that just evolved on it’s own. There are many more of those to come.

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#78 – Lark Has Another Dream

Posted on May 11, 2011 by L.J.
Nida: “Professor Hojo!! Sephiroth is being mean and suggesting things that are biologically impossible!”

Originally Published: 3/12/01 . 28 pages

Synopsis
Lark has another dream where the gang is in high school. Even in her dreams she and Sephiroth have problems…

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

Back when I was in high school (which feels like 5 million years ago), my friends and I wrote stories about the Gundam Wing characters being in high school. Treize was always the photography teacher and Zechs worked in the cafeteria. They were a lot of fun to write, so I continued the tradition by infusing ramble characters. Mr. Kuja and his non-existent math class is my favorite joke – especially Wufei thinking it’s study hall. There are three things from my actual high school experience: the thin glass pipettes in science class, the library book security system, and the box of crickets in the cafeteria. (A really lame senior prank.)

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#77 – Bows, Arrows and Black Materia

Posted on May 11, 2011 by L.J.
Irwhine: “Of course we did! We’re the good guys!”

Originally Published: 3/5/01 . 59 pages

Synopsis
Lark has a dream where Sephiroth is Rothin’ Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor — rich being the evil prince Jofus! And he’s out to get Rothin’!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I love this ramble. I can’t believe I almost gave up on it and threw it away. I remember asking a friend to read it, and they encouraged me to keep going. I absolutely love writing these parodies, and I really enjoy the story of Robin Hood. This version is based about 90% on the Disney animated classic, while the other 10% is based on Robin Hood: Men in Tights. (Mostly the stuff with Latrojo.) Having said all those good things – I hate the beginning of this one with the stupid commercial they recite. Rufus seems out of character and it’s just unnecessary. At the time I was really amused by that commercial, but that was no reason to shove it in a ramble. I’d love to take all that stuff out, but I’m not letting myself edit these that much. (Otherwise entire rambles would disappear.)

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#76 – Till Death Do Us…………WHAT?!

Posted on May 11, 2011 by L.J.
Reeve: “Lark, you know bigamy is illegal, right?”

Originally Published: 2/23/01 . 73 pages

Synopsis
A trip to Las Vegas sounded great, until the gang realizes everyone went and got married! Rufus married Zell, Shell married, Rude, Reeve married Tseng, and Lark somehow married Sephiroth AND Vincent! And that’s just the beginning! Some are happy to be married, and some aren’t. And one couple got married on purpose! Can they sort all their marital problems out, or will they all be headed to divorce court?

Ramble Milestones
-Dr. Zack’s first appearance

When this ramble first came out, it was a little controversial due to all the sex references. Reading it back now, I don’t think it’s that bad, but I think I was more conscious of “going overboard” after that. The plot here is ridiculous, of course. But it’s still amusing. My favorite “marriages” are Shell and Rude, Irvine and Katie, Rufus and Zell (which sets the bar for a long time crush) and, of course, Lark and her two husbands. Especially when they’re dealing with licky licky. (It can’t really die – there’s always another one.) Reeve and Tseng are also adorable. Two small things I found amusing: Rufus says “I’m a duck” – was a duck in the ramble “Animal Farm”. And I totally found Sephiroth telling Vincent he performed the best version of Total Eclipse of the Heart he ever heard hilarious.

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#75 – The Stepford Ramble Chicks

Posted on May 7, 2011 by L.J.
Ashley: *shocked expression* “Oh my! But Seifer, we’re not married!”

Originally Published: 2/21/01 . 38 pages

Synopsis
Hojo gives the girls a potion that makes them act like perfect housewives – and the guy’s aren’t liking it!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I didn’t write this one. But the wackiness of this one is still funny.

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