#64 – Lark’s Dream

Posted on April 30, 2011 by L.J.
Wufei: “I’m complaining to the principal about the hair in the food. It’s *too* disgusting!”

Originally Published: 1/4/01 . 20 pages

Synopsis
Lark has a dream where everyone in the ramble gang goes to the same high school. Can her subconscious shed any light on her and Sephiroth?

Ramble Milestones
-First of Lark’s “high school” dreams.

The first of several dream rambles where the ramble gang is in high school. Back when I was in high school (which wasn’t long before I wrote this ramble), my friends and I used to write little stories which featured the Gundam Wing guys at our high school. The stuff with Treize being the photography teacher and Zechs working in the cafeteria come from those stories. I enjoyed writing about the characters in high school, so that’s why there are several of these to come. Although I must say the ending to this one is depressing as hell.

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#63 – One Winged Angel

Posted on April 29, 2011 by L.J.
Sephiroth: *eyes narrow* “Let them all come and try. It’s more fun to kill them in groups.”

Originally Published: 1/3/01 . 51 pages

Synopsis
Jenova escapes and possesses Sephiroth, leading him on a killing rampage through the ramble room. Can Lark and the others find a way to stop him before it’s too late?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I have a love/hate relationship with this ramble. Someone suggested I write a serious ramble where Sephiroth goes insane, and this was the result. What’s funny to me now is that in the beginning notes, I wrote that I thought I was a better serious writer than comedy writer. Now I have the opposite opinion. At the time I was very proud of this ramble and it was very popular. Now I still like parts of it, but it’s mostly way overdramatic and parts are just dumb. Jenova is contained in a computer? Really? And the fact that a Phoenix summon can bring people back from the dead also doesn’t really work, but I’ll let that one go. Things that bother me about this ramble: the whole part where they talk to Jenova via the computer (first the ramble room, then the world – come on), some of the dialogue that sounds ripped from a badly written soap opera, and how the ramble girls don’t put up more of a fight when Lark asks them to leave. (They also hated that part.) But I do like how the characters react to the deaths of their friends for the most part. Two of my favorite scenes are Sephiroth v. The Turks and Reeve and Rufus’ conversation. The ending is totally corny too. Still, I guess I found myself enjoying this one a little more than I cringed at it.

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#62 – Christmas Cheer

Posted on April 29, 2011 by L.J.
Scarlet: “How about I shove this tree up your ass?”

Originally Published: 12/23/00 . 45 pages

Synopsis
It’s Christmas time in the ramble room! Sephiroth’s willing to go to any length to get Lark to kiss him under the mistletoe. But with the Gundam Wing guys and a brand new karaoke machine to deal with, will he get his chance?

Ramble Milestones
-Steiner, Vivi and the lovely Kuja make their first appearance
-Zechs and Treize sing their first rendition of “I’ve Got You, Babe”

This ramble isn’t labeled as a favorite of mine, but there’s lots to love about it. From the simple things like Shell shaking her gift from Rude or Nida introducing himself to Kuja, to the more elaborate stuff like the “I Love You, Lark” bear and Sephiroth’s fishing pole mistletoe creation. And, of course, Zechs and Treize hog the karaoke machine for the first time. It’s not my favorite Christmas related ramble, but it’s a solid one.

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#61 – Ways to Spell I Love You aka You’re a Whore, Lark!

Posted on April 27, 2011 by L.J.
Reno: *grins* “Irvine’s the master. You see, now he’s getting some, and you’re not. And why, because he bravely took credit for something he didn’t write.”

Originally Published: 12/11/00 . 29 pages

Synopsis
Reno makes it his mission to help Sephiroth land Lark. But is she too busy with other guys to notice?

Ramble Milestones
-Noelle breaks up with Reno.
-Noelle starts dating JT

Yeah, it’s an important plot but just how slutty Lark is makes me cringe. (She is not me. Remember that.) Although it’s true that other characters are slutastic as well in this ramble, (I’m looking at you JT and Irvine) she really gets around in this one. But aside from that there is plenty to like about this one – I love how Reno helps Seph because they’re kind of an unlikely pair. And of course there’s Irvine taking credit for Seph’s lovely love letter to Lark. I remember having a long conversation with a friend about this ramble – they were the one who actually wrote the love letter. We have another instance where Seph sings – this time it’s “I think I love you” of David Cassidy fame. And the ending, where Seph recites letter word for word, is classic.

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#60 – Animal Farm

Posted on April 26, 2011 by L.J.
Squall: *squawks* “Whatever.” *whistles*

Originally Published: 12/1/00 . 35 pages

Synopsis
Zidane arrives at the ramble room, but with Hojo plotting a new scheme to turn everyone into animals, it’s sure to be a time he won’t soon forget!

Ramble Milestones
-Zidane’s first appearance.

-Rufus makes his punch for the first time.

This ramble is ridiculous but hilarious. I especially love the Losers – especially all the stuff with Nida sprouting various animal parts. And Reeve trying to hurt Rufus with his m-phone as Cait Sith and Squall’s overuse of his favorite word are pretty funny too. Even though Zidane is introduced in this ramble, he doesn’t really become much of a character until much later.

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#59 – Sucking Up Sephiroth

Posted on April 26, 2011 by L.J.
Sephiroth: “We have to find out who’s been sucking up Sephiroth!”

Originally Published: 11/28/00 . 27 pages

Synopsis
Lark’s new vacuum seems to be a little too powerful and sucks up some of Sephiroth’s hair by accident! She tries to cover it up, but Sephiroth’s on the case!

Ramble Milestones
-The only visit to Rufus’ mall.

-Rufus admits the J in his name was made up.

-Coby’s first appearance.

This is a weird ramble – the beginning notes say to not even ask where this idea came from, and to be honest I don’t entirely remember. I know I heard about that vacuum called The Shark and how powerful it was supposed to be. So I guess I thought I could make a story out of it. There are some decent moments in this ramble – I like Sephiroth’s reaction to his hair loss and his little investigation into the case of his missing hair. But overall it’s far from a favorite. At least I proved I could write something about a vacuum…I guess.

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In Progress!

Posted on April 26, 2011 by L.J.

Greetings everyone!

If you’re visiting Buy-Shinra.com for the first time and are confused, I’m sorry. The site as it once was exists no more. Final Fantasy Freaks, my writing site – both dead. But I’ve rescued my favorite thing about the site, The Rambles, and will be reposting them here. Slowly.

Yes, slowly. Why? Because I’m going over all of them and fixing all the really, really old spelling errors and other typos. I’m giving each one a little intro. And I’m tagging them all so that if you’re looking for a certain type of ramble, you’ll be able to click one tag and find all the rambles featuring a lot of Twilight, for example.

So bear with me – it’s going to be awhile before they’re all back up. But I promise I won’t give up and leave this undone. Enjoy what I’ve got done for now!

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#58 – Too Close To Call

Posted on April 26, 2011 by L.J.
Twilight: “We could do that! And with people who smile for real!”
Originally Published: ??? . 75 pages

Synopsis
Sephiroth and Rufus face off in a vicious campaign for ramble room locker! With commercials, parades and a voting booth rigged with a camera, this is sure to be one memorable election!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

I love this ramble. There are so many insane things happening here. Clearly this was inspired by the Presidential election in 2000, and I used every single idea my sister and I came up with. Some things of note:

-Sephiroth claims not to be rich. He’s lying, of course he’s loaded, just super cheap.

-Rufus chooses Rude as his running mate basically because he’s the only one they won’t be able to dig up dirt on. And he totally discriminates against Elena, Tseng and Reeve.

-Love all the commercials. Some of my favorite moments are the one where Rufus shows what Sephiroth has done for the ramble room and it’s basically a bunch of photos of a dead Zell, Nida’s ad with the other losers posing as members of his family. (Including Hojo wearing sneakers on his knees pretending to be a kid.) And, of course, there’s Twilight disguising himself as ‘Mr. Smith’, and Reno posing as Sephiroth harassing Elena.

-Rufus’ parade and carnival. (Which featured balloons! And puppies!)

-Zell apparently didn’t used to like Rufus. That changed.

-Shell totally cheats on Rude with Irvine. At least she feels guilty.

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#57 – Thanks For Nothing, Buddy!

Posted on April 17, 2011 by L.J.
Reno: “Think there will be booze tomorrow? I could be thankful for that…”

Originally Published: ?? . 29 pages

Synopsis
It’s Thanksgiving time at the ramble room, and Lark is making everyone say what they’re thankful for. Will Sephiroth finally be able to say what’s in his heart?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

According to my ending notes, I listened to the song “So In Love” from the musical Kiss Me, Kate a million times when writing this ramble, which explains a lot. I like this ramble, even if it kind of has more drama than laughs. Some of the funniest moments for me were when Lark kept offering to “do the looking” for the other girls when it came to Sephiroth and when Rufus admits he’s thankful for his employees and Reno responds, “But we hate you.” Irvine also lies in this ramble, claiming his favorite holiday is Valentine’s Day, when we find out later he hates it. Yeah, he lied. I never make mistakes like that. EVER.

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#56 – Men Start at 1.50

Posted on April 17, 2011 by L.J.
Twilight: “Wow! There are a lot of desperate girls!”

Originally Published: ?? . 31 pages

Synopsis
When the phone bill is insanely high, Lark decides to teach the boys a lesson by auctioning them off to the highest bidder!

Ramble Milestones
-That guy Jake makes his first appearance.

You can tell by the original file name on this ramble that this ramble was supposed to be about something else entirely – an anime convention, actually. But that idea just wasn’t working so I just wrote this nonsense instead. That only happened a few times over the history of the rambles. Despite how silly this ramble is, it’s still fairly amusing – especially Shell’s treatment of both Rude and JT. I also wonder what the hell the gil to dollar ratio is, considering we’re handing over thousands of gil for these guys. We also meet Jake in this ramble, where he shows up as the telephone repairman. Of all the original characters I ever created for the rambles, he was far and away the most useless. His specific function was just to get with Katie, and he really had no other purpose.

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