#61 – Ways to Spell I Love You aka You’re a Whore, Lark!

Reno: *grins* “Irvine’s the master. You see, now he’s getting some, and you’re not. And why, because he bravely took credit for something he didn’t write.”

Originally Published: 12/11/00 . 29 pages

Synopsis
Reno makes it his mission to help Sephiroth land Lark. But is she too busy with other guys to notice?

Ramble Milestones
-Noelle breaks up with Reno.
-Noelle starts dating JT

Yeah, it’s an important plot but just how slutty Lark is makes me cringe. (She is not me. Remember that.) Although it’s true that other characters are slutastic as well in this ramble, (I’m looking at you JT and Irvine) she really gets around in this one. But aside from that there is plenty to like about this one – I love how Reno helps Seph because they’re kind of an unlikely pair. And of course there’s Irvine taking credit for Seph’s lovely love letter to Lark. I remember having a long conversation with a friend about this ramble – they were the one who actually wrote the love letter. We have another instance where Seph sings – this time it’s “I think I love you” of David Cassidy fame. And the ending, where Seph recites letter word for word, is classic.

 (in the ramble room we have rufus, who has brought his laptop with him. reno has taken it over and is looking at seventeen.com, with irvine, zidane and seifer looking over his shoulder. sephiroth is pouting on the couch with zell, who looks bored, and rufus, who looks mad)

Rufus: “I need that for work!”

Reno: “Yeah, whatever.”

Irvine: “Reno, why are you on Seventeen online? We could be looking up porn!”

Seifer: “Yeah! Where’s the porn?!”

Zidane: “I’m kinda underage, but sure, bring on the porn!”

Reno: “Haven’t you guys had enough porn?”

Irvine, Seifer and Zidane: “No.”

Reno: *laughs* “Me neither. But hold on a minute. I’m tryin’ to help ‘Roth.”

Sephiroth: “…………….”

Rufus: *nudges seph* “They’re talking about you.”

Sephiroth: *snaps out of his daze* “What? I’ll kill them!”

Reno: “Relax, ‘Roth. We’re tryin’ to help ya.”

Irvine: “Yeah, and we’re giving up our porn browsin’ time for it!”

Zell: “That’s all you guys do!”

Seifer: “At least we don’t hit on Squall.”

Zell: “I do not!”

Sephiroth: “What are you horny bastards looking at?”

Irvine: “Look who’s talking.”

Reno: *points to screen* “Look, Sephiroth, this 15 year old boy wants to know how to get the girl he has a crush on to realize he likes her.”

Sephiroth: “I don’t have anything in common with a 15 year old boy!”

Guys: *jaw drops*

Zell: *laughs* “Yo! He’s got the exact same problem as you, ‘Roth!”

Sephiroth: *raises fist* “I’ll kill you–“

Irvine: *jerks seph’s hand back down* “Sephiroth, why don’t you just listen to Reno? Since when is he wrong?” *seph gives him a look* “I mean when it comes to sex.”

Sephiroth: *mutters* “Fine. What does the jerk have to say?”

Reno: “Well this here doctor person says you should pay lots of attention to her and show her what’s in your heart.” *laughs* “Too bad you don’t have one of those!”

Sephiroth: *hits reno in the head*

Reno: “Ow!”

Sephiroth: *shoves reno out of the way to read the screen* “So exactly how should I go about doing that?”

Reno: *rubbing the back of his head* “I don’t know. They don’t give you ideas. What is this, Martha Stewart Magazine? Think of your own plans.”

Sephiroth: “How about *you* think of some?”

Reno: *shrugs* “Just go up to her and tell her you like her.”

Sephiroth: *hits reno again* “You jerk! That’s just what I’m trying to avoid!”

Reno: *rubs the back of his head* “Ow! Sephiroth! That’s really starting to hurt!”

Sephiroth: “Come on, you guys have to have *some* ideas!”

Rufus: “Most of us don’t *want* to help you, Sephiroth. We don’t want you to get Lark.”

Sephiroth: “That’s because you all suck.”

Zidane: “Why don’t you just give it up and let us all share her?”

Irvine: “Sounds good to me!”

Sephiroth: “What?! She’s not a…a…a…thing to be passed around!”

Reno: *laughs* “What, like a joint?”

Sephiroth: *hits reno upside the head*

Reno: “OW!” *rubs the back of his head*

Zell: “I don’t think she wants a boyfriend, Sephiroth. After all, she dumped me.”

Everyone: *blinks*

Seifer: “Like that means anything, chicken-wuss.”

Zell: *flips out* “Shove it, Seifer!”

Sephiroth: *deep in thought* “Hmmm….”

Reno: “Hey, speaking of the girls, where are they?”

Rufus: *snaps* “I don’t know. Why don’t you step the hell away from my computer and find them?” *raises eyebrows*

Reno: *turning back to the computer* “Just for that, forget it.”

Seifer: “You never remember anything, do you, Reno? The girls went to some outlet mall or somethin’.”

Zell: “They gonna buy us stuff?”

Zidane: “That sounds pretty damn dull.”

Irvine: “Katie dragged them. Can you say ‘shop-a-holic’?”

Zell: “Shop-a-holic.”

Everyone: *turns to him dumbfounded*

Zell: *blinks* “What?”

Seifer: “Why do they call you know-it-all-Zell again?”

Zell: *flips out* “Cram it, Seifer!!”

Sephiroth: “I can’t *think* if you’re *talking*?”

Rufus: “Can I have my computer back?”

Reno: “NO!”

Rufus: “That’s it! You’re fired!”

Reno: “That’s not going to get me to move.”

Rufus: *pouts* “Forget it then.”

(lark comes in with JT then, and JT looks a little….disheveled)

Lark: “Hey, guys!”

JT: *grinning* “Hey.”

Sephiroth: *raises an eyebrow* “What’s wrong with you?”

JT: “Oh, *nothing*.” *grins more*

Lark: *nudges him*

Zell: “Hey, Lark, where’ve ya been?!”

Lark: “I was busy.”

JT: “Very busy.”

Lark: *nudges him again*

JT: “Oops.”

Reno: *starts smelling JT*

JT: “What are you doing?” *tries to push reno away*

Reno: *shrugs, smiles knowingly and sits again*

Lark: *giving reno a strange look* “Anyway……….. What’s up?”

Sephiroth: “Nothing. But it’s a beautiful day, isn’t it? We should go for a walk!”

Lark: “Um, okay.”

Sephiroth: “Great! Let’s go!” *grabs her hand and drags her out*

JT: *frowns* “Hey….”

Reno: *turns around and grins at JT, raising his eyebrows*

JT: *backing away* “What??”

Reno: “You know.”

JT: *blushes* “No I don’t.”

Irvine: *gasps* “You slept with Lark!”

JT: “NO!” *irvine gives him a look* “All right, yes.”

Seifer: “Who hasn’t?”

Zell: “You.”

Seifer: “I have Ashley, reject.”

Zidane: “I haven’t.”

Seifer: “You will.”

Rufus: “Sephiroth hasn’t.”

Seifer: “Yeah, well, he’s gonna have to face the fact that he never will.”

Reno: *snorts* “Nice try with the walk thing though.” *holds in laughter*

JT: “What’s going on with Sephiroth?”

Reno: “You mean what’s going on in the next chapter of the pathetic psycho?” *laughs* “Now he’s gonna try and convince her he likes her without telling her.”

Rufus: “Not like he isn’t obvious about it already, so what makes him think she’s gonna see it now?”

Zidane: “Why doesn’t he just grab ‘er and start makin’ out with her?”

Reno: “Because she still wouldn’t get it.”

Zidane: “You’re kidding me.”

Rufus: “Sadly, we’re not.”

Zidane: “Whoa.”

Reno: “I’m telling you, watch Lark make out–or worse with every other guy in the ramble room before Sephiroth gets any.”

Irvine: *raises eyebrow* “*Every* guy, Reno?”

Reno: “Well, all the *good*, single ones I mean!”

(all the sudden the door opens and Noelle comes in and searches the room with her eyes until she sees reno)

Noelle: *spots reno* “Reno. We need to talk.”

Reno: *looks surprised* “Oh. Okay.”

(reno follows Noelle out and the door is shut)

Rufus: “My computer!” *runs back to his chair*

Zidane: “Why doesn’t she like Sephiroth? He’s hot.”

Guys: *freeze*

Irvine: “He’s another one of *them*.”

Zidane: “*Them*? Who’s them?”

Irvine: “You know, the type who have the ‘best of both worlds’? We have a few of them.”

Zidane: “Is Sephiroth one?”

Seifer: “Why don’t you ask Vincent?” *snickers*

(the door opens and reno comes back in looking confused and rejected)

Reno: “…………………”

Irvine: *looks concerned* “Reno? You okay, man?”

Reno: “………..she…..she dumped me.”

Guys: “………………………..”

Irvine: *in amazement* “Oh my god…”

Rufus: “Oh well.” *goes back to the computer*

Seifer: “I’m…sorry?”

Zell: “That sucks, man.”

Zidane: “What did she say?”

Reno: “That she was sick of me.”

Guys: “Ooh, that’s the worst.”

Reno: “Yeah.” *sigh*

Irvine: “….You gonna be okay?”

Reno: *looks up* “Yeah, I’m fine. Just fine.”

Irvine: “You sure?”

Reno: “Yeah.” *forced smile* “I bet I can get some action from Lark before Sephiroth does.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(the next day….reno and sephiroth are sitting in the tv room flipping through the channels. reno looks depressed, he’s slumped in his seat with a beer)

Sephiroth: “She dumped ya, huh?”

Reno: “Yup.”

Sephiroth: “Sucks to be you.”

Reno: *snaps* “#$%^ you.”

Sephiroth: *snorts*

Reno: *bitter* “So how did your little kindergarden *walk* go yesterday?”

Sephiroth: *mumbles* “Okay…”

Reno: “Did you try to hold hands with her?”

Sephiroth: “No!” *hangs head* “I’m too shy.”

Reno: “That would have given definite ‘I love you’ signals!”

Sephiroth: *snaps* “Who’re you to boss me around, Reno? You can’t even keep your own girlfriend entertained!”

Reno: “Not my problem I’m–I’m–” *sets jaw* “#$%^ off, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: *slams down remote* “Gladly!” *stomps out*

(sephiroth storms out and goes into the ramble room without glancing at the couch where lark is making out with zell)

Sephiroth: *slamming the door* “I hate Reno! I ha–” *spots lark and zell* “LARK!”

Lark: *breaks away from zell* “Oh! Sephiroth!” *blushes* “Hello.”

Zell: *grins* “Sup, ‘Roth?”

Sephiroth: *clenches fists* “Grrr…” *exclaims* “You know, Lark! You’re a real slut!”

Lark: *gasp* “Sephiroth!”

Zell: *flips out* “Yo! Take that back, jerk!”

Lark: *hangs head*

Zell: “You hurt Lark’s feelings! Take it back!”

Sephiroth: *stutters* “Uh…um….oops. Sorry, Lark. I didn’t mean it!”

Lark: “…………….”

Zell: “Get outta here, ‘Roth!”

Sephiroth: *hangs head and leaves sadly closing the door behind him*

Reno: *leaning against the wall* “Wow, you’ve graduated to the 5th grade already! Being mean to show a girl you like her. That always gets you somewhere.”

Sephiroth: *hisses* “If you don’t shut the hell up right now, I’ll kill you, and hide your body so no one can revive you.”

Reno: “You need my help and you know it.”

Sephiroth: “….What do you have in mind?”

Reno: “Follow me.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(meanwhile, outside…)

Ashley: “Why the hell are we sitting outside? It’s December.”

Shell: “I can’t wait till Christmas. I bet Rude is gonna get me something great!”

Ashley: “Seifer *better* get me something great.”

Noelle: “I broke up with Reno.”

Shell: “I bet Rude–” *stops* “Wait.” *pause* “You did *what*?!”

Ashley: “You broke up with Reno!?”

Noelle: “Yup.”

Ashley: “Why? I thought you were totally in love with him!”

Noelle: “I got bored of him. Plus, I’m gonna stop drinking, and he’s a bad influence.”

Shell: “You’re gonna stop drinking?!”

Ashley: “What’s the world coming to!?”

Shell: “You won’t last, Noelle. I know you won’t.”

Noelle: “I will too! Just wait and see!”

Ashley: “Wanna go inside? It’s cold.”

Shell: “Rude can make us hot chocolate!” *yells* “RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!”

Rude: *drags himself outside* “Yes, Shell?”

Shell: “We want hot chocolate. Go make us some.”

Rude: *sighs* “Yes, Shell.” *goes back inside*

Noelle: “If Reno were more like his best friend, I never would have dumped him!”

Shell: *grins* “I have got that boy *whipped*.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(later…reno and sephiroth are in the tv room. seph is writing something and reno looks over his shoulder)

Sephiroth: “See, now this is a good idea. Write a love letter, and don’t sign it! I get my point across without her knowing it’s me!”

Reno: “You know, if you actually put your name on it–“

Sephiroth: *firmly* “No.”

Reno: *sighs* “Suit yourself.”

Sephiroth: “Lark’s in the ramble room. I’ll go put this outside the door.”

(he and reno leave the tv room, seph puts the paper on the floor, knocks and runs around the corner so she can’t see him. he peeks around the corner and watches as the door opens. lark steps out, looks around in confusion, notices the paper, picks it up and reads it)

Lark: *blinks* “Oh my god.” *reads it again* “This is beautiful… I wish someone had signed this…”

(reno tries to push sephiroth out into the hallway, but he’s struggling with all his might to stay back. seph pushes reno so hard that he loses his balance and falls, bringing himself and reno to the ground)

Lark: *looks in that direction* “What was that?”

Irvine: *walks in* “What’s up, Lark?”

Lark: “Look what I found outside the ramble room door! I wonder who it’s from!” *hands it to him*

Irvine: *reads it over grinning* “Oh, don’t tell me I forgot to sign it.”

Lark: “You wrote that?”

Sephiroth: *whispers harshly* “WHAT?!”

Irvine: *crooked grin* “Yup.”

Lark: “That’s so sweet, Irvine! I’m touched!”

Irvine: “What do you say we go back to my room, and….”

Lark: “Okay!” *they leave*

Sephiroth: *kicks the wall* “THAT @$#%^^^&#$&%@#$%$&#*#*^$%#$$%^E%#$#$%FGQ$%#$% JERK!”

Reno: *grins* “Irvine’s the master. You see, now he’s getting some, and you’re not. And why, because he bravely took credit for something he didn’t write.”

Sephiroth: “I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!!!”

Reno: “And blow your cover?”

Sephiroth: “DAMMIT!”

Reno: “That’s what I thought.”

Sephiroth: “#$%^#$&#%*$%*^$#%^*(&%(%&#$@$!#@$^#%*(&)%*#^#%**)_*$#%@#%@@!!!”

Reno: “Relax here, Mr. Highwind.” *chuckles*

Sephiroth: *grabs reno by the collar and shakes him* “I’ll highwind you in a minute! Help me think of something else!!”

Reno: “Okay! Put me down, big tough toddler. I think I have another idea.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(later…shell, Ashley and Noelle are sitting around, while rude refills their cups of hot cocoa)

Shell: “I need more, Rude.” *holds out cup*

Rude: “Yes, Shell.” *pours*

Ashley: “What do you guys think of Zidane?”

Noelle: “I like him.”

Shell: “I haven’t talked to him.”

Ashley: “He seems okay to me.”

Noelle: “The guys don’t like him.”

Shell: “Of course not. Guys suck, right, Rude?”

Rude: “Yes, Shell.”

Lark: *comes in grinning* “Hey, everyone…”

Ashley: “What’s with you?”

Lark: “Let me read you what Irvine wrote me…” *dreamy sigh* “He’s so sweet.” *reads* “My dearest Lark–My loveliest of lovely Lark, Oh how I love you. You have lead me to you, like a horse to water, only to fall for another man. It saddens me greatly… but I must push forward… I must let my love for you shine out like a million candles on a moonless night… I must have you… you are like a mountain. A mountain of love… a mountain of beauty… I would give this planet just to see you smile… I would plead to the Gods that it would make you smile…” *sigh* “Isn’t that beautiful?”

Rude: *blinks* “Irvine wrote *that*?!”

Ashley: “You sure he didn’t copy it out of a book?”

Lark: “No!”

Shell: “It doesn’t sound like something he’d write.”

Lark: “Sure it does!”

Noelle: “Whatever. Irvine’s hot, who cares?”

Lark: “I’m gonna go show everyone! Well, except Sephiroth. He insulted me this morning!” *leaves*

Noelle: *laughs* “Looks like Seph’s turned to the 5th grader method of being mean.”

Irvine: *pokes his head in* “Hey, Noelle.”

Noelle: “Hey.”

Irvine: “You broke up with Reno?”

Noelle: “Yup.”

Irvine: “Wanna make out?”

Noelle: “Sure.” *she gets up and leaves*

Ashley, Shell and Rude: *blink*

Rude: “Irvine did *not* write that.”

Ashley: “Then who the hell did?”

Rude: “Hmn.”

Shell: “You’re supposed to tell us, Rude! You obviously know!”

Rude: “Not sure.”

Shell: “Darn.”

Rude: *turns away with a smile that says ‘i know, but i’m not telling cause you’re mean’*

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(anyway…)

Sephiroth: “That is stupid!”

Reno: “It’s what the magazine says: if a guy likes a girl, he’s willing to do crazy things, even let her cut his hair.”

Sephiroth: “But she didn’t even ask to!”

Reno: “It doesn’t matter. Go ask her if she wants to.”

Sephiroth: “Do you know how long it took me to grow this out? I lost 13 strands of it and flipped out!”

Reno: “Well that’s just sad.” *hands him scissors* “Go for it, tiger.” *winks*

Sephiroth: *pouts* “Don’t call me tiger.”

(seph goes into the ramble room where lark is sitting reading a magazine)

Sephiroth: “Good evening, Lark.”

Lark: *looks up* “Hey, Seph. What’s up?”

Sephiroth: *takes out scissors and looks at them uncertainly before looking at her* “Um… I was wondering, if, um, you would, um, like to cut my hair?” *squeezes his eyes shut and offers her the scissors*

Lark: *blinks* “Are you out of your mind? I would never touch your hair! It’s gorgeous! Don’t even think about touching it!” *goes up to him and takes the scissors* “I think I should take these away from you.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah. Thanks.”

(lark gives him a weird look and leaves. then reno comes in)

Reno: “What happened?”

Sephiroth: “Your dumbass magazine was wrong! WRONG! She thinks I’m nuts now!”

Reno: “She thought you were nuts before.”

Sephiroth: *mumbles something*

Reno: “All right, I’ll think up something new for tomorrow. Noelle’s probably–” *pause* “Oh right. We broke up.” *frowns and leaves*

Sephiroth: “I still can’t believe that stupid cowboy took credit for *my* letter…” *wanders out of the room*

(meanwhile…zidane is alone in the tv room, standing up and watching something on tv when JT comes in. he laughs to himself, sneaks up behind zidane and pulls his tail)

Zidane: *grins* “Lark… You know what that does to me.”

JT: “…………?!” *sweat drops*

Zidane: *seductively* “Pull it again.”

JT: “Ack! Gods no!”

Zidane: *whirls around* “What?! JT!? You pulled my tail?!”

JT: “I didn’t think you’d get off on it!”

Zidane: “If you find me attractive you should just come out and say it!”

JT: “I don’t find you attractive! I don’t go that way!”

Zidane: “Oh. That sucks.” *pause* “Well don’t pull my tail again!”

JT: “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

(lark walks in)

Lark: “Hey, JT. Hey, Zidane.”

Zidane: “Oh look! The real Lark!”

Lark: “What?”

Zidane: “Nothing.”

Lark: “Zidane, I’m going to bed. Wanna come?”

JT: “?!?!?!”

Zidane: “Do I?!” *they go off*

JT: *frowns* “But it’s only eight o’clock…”

(Noelle wanders in)

Noelle: “Irvine is such a player…” *sigh* “But he’s so damn cute.”

JT: “Oh hi, Noelle. I heard about you and Reno.”

Noelle: “Yeah, I dumped his drunken ass.” *pouts* “He probably doesn’t even care.”

JT: “Um… I was wondering…something…”

Noelle: “What’s that?”

JT: “Well, since you’re not with Reno anymore…I was wondering if maybe you wanted to date me…”

Noelle: *blinks* “JT, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

JT: *shyly* “If you want to…”

Noelle: “All right.”

JT: “Kick ass!” *grabs her and kisses her*

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(meanwhile…the next day…irvine, rufus–with his computer–and seifer are in the ramble room)

Rufus: “I love this computer. It’s a great computer. My computer should be the president of all computers.”

Irvine: “Yeah. Okay, Rufus.” *rolls eyes*

Seifer: “Hey, Irvine, did you really write that thing Lark showed me?”

Irvine: “Why, did you write it?”

Seifer: “No…”

Irvine: “Right. Of course not. Cause I did.”

Rufus: “It didn’t sound like something you’d write, Irvine. It sounded too…heartfelt.”

Irvine: “Why, I can’t write something genuine?”

Rufus: “No, you’re much too shallow.”

Irvine: “I am not.”

Rufus: “What do you look for in a girl?”

Irvine: “Looks.”

Rufus: “I rest my case.”

(then zidane comes in, grinning)

Zidane: “Well, you guys were right.”

Seifer: “Of course we were.” *pause* “Right about what?”

Zidane: “When you said I’d get to sleep with Lark.” *grins*

Rufus: *throws a baby fit* “WHAT?! Oh *man*! Now there’s 5 of us!”

Zidane: “Deal with it.”

Irvine: “Hey, where’s Reno? I haven’t seen him lately.”

Rufus: “Yeah, I haven’t either. But I’m not complaining about it.”

Seifer: “I heard Noelle’s dating JT now.”

Irvine: “She found someone else already? Man, that’s gotta hurt.” *grins* “That’s why I don’t date.”

Rufus: “You don’t date because you like to sleep around, man whore.”

Irvine: *leans against the wall casually* “That’s true–” *pauses and stands up* “Wait, *man whore*?!”

Rufus: *snickers*

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(meanwhile….in the hallway outside the tv room…)

Sephiroth: “This is a dumb idea.”

Reno: “Hey, it’s a long shot, but it’s worth a shot.”

Sephiroth: “I hardly think a David Cassidy song is going to give her the hint.”

Reno: *shoves a walkman on him* “Well, try it, and then we’ll know.”

(inside the tv room, lark is flipping channels)

Lark: “I hate The View. Who cares?! Isn’t anything good on at this time?”

Sephiroth: *walks in and looks a little hesitant before singing* “I think I love you! I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I’m afraid that I’m not sure of a love there is no cure for! I think I love you, isn’t that what life is made of? Though it worries me to say that I’ve never felt this way!”

Lark: *turns to look at him* “Sephiroth, that’s a good song, but could you sing elsewhere? I’m trying to find something that’s not crap on tv.”

Sephiroth: *takes off the headphones with a sigh* “I’m sorry, Lark.”

Lark: *shuts off the tv* “Oh, who am I kidding?”

Sephiroth: *face brightens*

Lark: “I’m bored. Where’s Rufus?” *leaves*

Sephiroth: “RUFUS?!”

Reno: *comes in shaking his head* “Aw, well. Looks like you lost to Rufus this time.”

Sephiroth: “RUFUS?!?!?!”

Reno: “Looks like it’s back to the drawing board.”

Sephiroth: “RUFUS?!?!?!?!?!”

Reno: “You should have sang the next part of the song. You know–” *sings* “Believe me, you really don’t have to worry. I only wanna make you happy and if you say hey go away I will. But I think better still, I’d better stay around and love you. Do you think I have a case?  Let me ask you to your face: Do you think you love me?”

Sephiroth: “How about do you think I should let you live?!” *picks reno up by the collar*

Reno: “I think so.”

Sephiroth: *drops him* “URGH!” *heads for the door*

Reno: “There are more options!” *follows*

Sephiroth: “You know you really can’t sing.”

Reno: “Let’s not get nasty cause we’re mad!”

Sephiroth: “It’s true.”

Reno: “I’m ignoring you!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(meanwhile…Katie, Lizzie and laguna are sitting outside)

Katie: “I got all my Christmas shopping done already!”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Me too!”

Lizzie: “Oops.”

Katie: “I should take you shopping, Lizzie!”

Lizzie: “That’s okay, Katie. I think I’ll be lazy and do it all online.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! That’s what Lark does!”

Katie: “Online shopping is no fun! Where’s the sense of adventure? And the fun of discovering sales?”

Lizzie: *shakes head and glances at an approaching car* “Hey, look, Katie. It’s that Jake guy.”

Katie: “Oh…” *blushes*

(jake comes up to the porch)

Jake: “Hey, everyone. What’s up?”

Lizzie: “Nothing.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Not much!”

Jake: “Hi, Katie.”

Katie: “Hi, Jake…”

Jake: “Um…I came cause I was wondering something…” *looks at the ground*

Katie: “What?”

Jake: “Um…what do you want for Christmas?”

Katie: *looks at him* “Just get me whatever you think I would like. I’m sure I’d love it.”

Jake: *looks at her* “All right.” *looks away* “Well, I just stopped by. I have more stuff to get done. Tell Lark I said hi. Bye, guys.”

Lizzie and Laguna: “Bye, Jake.”

Jake: *looks at Katie* “Bye, Katie.” *heads back for his car*

Katie: “Bye, Jake!” *watches him drive off with a dreamy look*

Laguna: “Hey hey! You like him!”

Katie: “…He’s so cute…”

Lizzie: “Katie, did you get him anything for Christmas?”

Katie: “OMG, NO! Hurry! To the mall!” *grabs Lizzie and laguna by the wrists and drags them towards the car*

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(later…)

Reno: “Okay, Sephiroth, this plan *can’t* fail.”

Sephiroth: “I’m keeping track of how many times you say that.”

Reno: “This one will work this time. Really. If you give her a massage, she’ll realize you like her.”

Sephiroth: “I’m not sure I can do this…”

Reno: “You can.” *shoves him into the ramble room*

Lark: *looks up from her magazine* “Seph? Whatcha doin’?”

Sephiroth: “Nothin’.” *pouts* “Where’s *Rufus*?”

Lark: “He had a meeting, so we had to stop. What’s up?”

Sephiroth: “Want me to give you a massage?”

Lark: “That came outta nowhere, but yeah, sure, why not?”

(seph gets behind her and starts giving her a massage)

Sephiroth: “You’re very tense, Lark.”

Lark: “Yeah, I know.”

Sephiroth: “You should relax a little.”

Lark: “I’m tryin’.”

Sephiroth: “You know–“

(reeve comes in)

Reeve: “Hey, Lark.”

Lark: “Hey, sweetie. Something wrong?”

Reeve: “Um, can I talk to you?” *looks at sephiroth* “Privately?”

Lark: “Sure.” *stands* “Sorry, Seph. Looks like we’ll have to continue another time.”

Sephiroth: *frowns* “Yeah. Sure.”

(lark and reeve leave, and reno comes in)

Reno: “Well….??”

Sephiroth: *pouting* “You suck.”

Reno: “What?”

Sephiroth: “She went and left with *Reeve*, and I swear, if I hear she made out with him, I’ll throw up!”

Reno: “Reeve? Lark won’t make out with Reeve!”

Sephiroth: “You sure? She’s been kinda….not being picky lately.”

Reno: “I assure you, that there is no way in hell Lark would ever make out with Reeve.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(later–lark and vincent are sitting on the couch in the ramble room, deep in discussion)

Vincent: “You made out with Reeve?”

Lark: “Yeah…”

Vincent: “…What happened?”

Lark: “I don’t know… We were talking very innocently about some stuff, and then, before we knew it…”

Vincent: “What were you talking about?”

Lark: “Nothing important. Anyway, then, we were like, ‘what did we do’ so we’re like ‘let’s not tell anyone’.”

Vincent: “Then why did you tell me?”

Lark: “Cause I had to tell someone! And I know you won’t tell.”

Vincent: “Because, you know if Tseng found out…”

Lark: “If Tsengy found out he’d be so mad at me! I don’t want to steal his man! It just happened!” *sigh* “I’ve been starving for attention lately I think.”

Vincent: *frowns* “Hmn. Join the club.”

Lark: “What’s wrong, Vincent?”

Vincent: “…I’m lonely.”

Lark: “Aw… Poor Vincent…” *hugs him*

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(meanwhile…)

Sephiroth: “Okay, Reno, this is it. Your last chance to help me. What did you discover?”

Reno: “Well, I poured through many many teen magazines, and I think you should be disgustingly nice and helpful.”

Sephiroth: “I’m not good at that.”

Reno: “Well that’s all I got. You gonna do it or not?”

Sephiroth: “If I can manage it.”

Reno: “Good. Then go.”

Sephiroth: “This one had better work!”

Reno: “It will if you don’t screw up!”

(mumbling, sephiroth goes to the ramble room and opens the door, and, to his horror, lark and vincent are making out on the couch)

Sephiroth: *jaw hits the floor* “Oh. My. *God*.”

(lark and vincent quickly pull apart)

Lark: “Sephiroth!”

Vincent: “Angel!”

Sephiroth: “Vincent! How could you?!” *glares at lark* “You really are a whore!”

Lark: “Hey!”

Vincent: “Sephiroth, calm yourself.”

Sephiroth: “I don’t believe this! This really makes my #$^&@#& day!” *stomps out*

Lark: *frowns* “Why is he so mean to me?”

Vincent: “He expects that I grovel at his feet, meanwhile he ignores me. But when I stray, he throws a fit. I don’t know what he wants.”

Lark: “I could understand that he’s mad we made out, but he’s thrown a fit *every* time. Meanwhile, he *doesn’t* like me, so why should it bother him?”

Vincent: “Quite an enigma…”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

(sephiroth stomps back to reno)

Sephiroth: “@#$%%&*#*!!!”

Reno: “What now?”

Sephiroth: “I go into the ramble room…and there she is–making out with *my* Vincent!!”

Reno: “Your Vincent who you always ignore?”

Sephiroth: “….Shut up! Since when did you become the voice of wisdom!? Go get drunk or something! Leave me alone.”

Reno: “I’m going to go talk to Lark.”

Sephiroth: “You tell her I like her, and you’ll die!”

Reno: “I won’t tell her. Geez, calm yourself.”

(so reno goes to the ramble room where lark is once again alone)

Reno: “Hey, Lark.”

Lark: *sigh* “Hi.”

Reno: “Where’d Vincent go?”

Lark: “What?” *annoyed sigh* “Great, now Sephiroth’s spreading it around!”

Reno: “Nah, he only told me. And you can trust ol’ Reno.”

Lark: “Sure I can.” *pause* “So what’s up?”

Reno: “I heard about that thing Irvine wrote.”

Lark: “Oh yeah!” *takes it out of her pocket* “Pretty amazing, huh?”

Reno: “So amazing I still don’t believe it.”

Lark: “Uh-huh.”

Reno: “So, you heard I broke up with Noelle.”

Lark: “Yeah! That’s so sad! You wanna go out with me to get her jealous so you can get back together?”

Reno: “Nah, you just did that. I think she might catch on.”

Lark: “Oh… Okay.”

Reno: *listens for a minute and hears footsteps* “Hey, Lark.”

Lark: “What?”

(reno grabs and kisses a wide eyed lark just as sephiroth comes in)

Sephiroth: *furious* “RENO! THIS IS TALKING!?!?!?”

Reno: “Whoops.” *jumps up* “Sorry, Sephy.”

Sephiroth: “I’LL KILL YOU!!!” *goes after reno*

Reno: *running for the door* “Wow, Lark, he must really like you to get so upset!” *runs out*

Sephiroth: *freezes*

Lark: *blinks* “Okay… That was weird.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah. I think he was drunk.”

Lark: “He didn’t taste like alcohol.”

Sephiroth: *twitch* “Yeah.” *softly* “Sorry for calling you a whore. Twice.”

Lark: “You’re forgiven.” *reaches into her pocket* “Well, I’m sure you heard by now…”

Sephiroth: “Heard about what?”

Lark: “About what Irvine wrote to me.” *unfolds paper* “I’ll read it to you.”

Sephiroth: *furiously* “Let me guess—” *with emotion as he walks to her* “My dearest Lark–My loveliest of *lovely* Lark, Oh how I love you. You have lead me to you, like a horse to water, only to fall for another man. It saddens me *greatly*… but I must push forward… I must let my love for you shine out like a million candles on a moonless night… I must have you… you are like a mountain. A mountain of love… a mountain of beauty… I would give this *planet* just to see you smile… I would plead to the Gods that it would make you smile…” *has both hands on either side of her, braced on the back of the couch and looks down at her* “Is that how it went?”

Lark: *eyes wide* “Yeah…”

Sephiroth: “That’s what I thought.” *straightens up and stomps out of the room*

Lark: *blinks* “Wow… I wonder who told him?”

THE END

Advertisements
This entry was posted in The Golden Era and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s