#6 – There’s Something About Clowns…

Red: “But I’m *not* a bird! I’m not even close!”

Originally Published: 6/15/00 . 15 pages

Synopsis
The losers have a plan to take over the ramble room – and Lark and Sephiroth suddenly find themselves locked inside it! Can the others work together to set them free?

Ramble Milestones
-First hint that Sephiroth has a thing for Lark
-The losers’ first attempt to take over the ramble room.

This is the first ramble that actually has a plot! So that’s automatically a plus. Sephiroth making fun of the other ramble characters is one of my favorite moments from these early rambles. I think this is the first ‘real’ ramble. From here, most of them become more than just another one dimensional parody.

(The room is deserted. Suddenly Hojo, Nida, Scarlet and Heidegger sneak in.)

Hojo: “Ha ha…it’s empty.”

Nida: “They think they’re so cool trying to keep us out…we’ll show them good…then I’ll take over Garden!”

Scarlet: “So what’s the plan, Hojo?”

Hojo: “It’s exceedingly simple. Lark enters the room, and we lock her in. We then proceed to make our *own* webpage with our *own* set of rambles! Best of all, she won’t be able to get out so easily because I’ve coated the door with my new special super *duper* glue.”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Good plan!”

Hojo: “Okay, now we wait outside the room and when she comes in, we slam the door shut and trap her!”

(They all laugh evilly and leave. A moment later, Lark enters with Sephiroth)

Lark: “Sephiroth, what did I tell you about fighting with Irvine?”

Sephiroth: “I don’t think you ever told me about fighting Irvine specifically….”

Lark: *shakes her head and scolds Sephiroth* “I–” *the door slams shut, Sephiroth whirls around, masamune in hand* “Huh? Who shut the door?” *goes over and tries to open it* “Hey, it’s locked!!”

Sephiroth: *comes over and bangs on the door* “Hey, open up the door or suffer my wrath!”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa!”

Lark: *scared* “Heidegger!”

Scarlet: “Kya haa haa!”

Lark: *even more scared* “Scarlet!!”

Nida: “We got you good!”

Lark: *terrified* “Nida?!?”

Hojo: “There’s no escape!”

Sephiroth: *screams* “Hojo!!”

Hojo: “That’s right, son. Looks like you and the little webmistress are stuck in there for awhile.”

Sephiroth: *twitches* “I’m not your son!”

Lark: “Hojo, what do you mean *awhile*??”

Hojo: “Until the glue wears off.”

Lark: “…..And how long would that be?”

Hojo: “Oh…not too long….several days…it’s still just a prototype formula.”

Lark: *in dismay as she looks at Sephiroth* “A few days!!! With Sephiroth for company!?!”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa!!”

Nida: “And none of your little friends will be able to get you out! Too bad the door is made of metal!”

Lark: “Crap!”

Scarlet: “Kya haa haa! I think I’ll go find Rufus!”

Lark: “No!”

Hojo: “We’re off to make our own page!

Lark: “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” *bangs her head against the wall*

Nida: “See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!” *leaves*

(sounds of footsteps leaving)

Lark: *still banging her head* “I–can’t—believe–it!” *looks at Sephiroth* “Now we’re stuck in here!!” *mumbles to herself* “Why do I have to be stuck with Sephiroth of all people…?”

Sephiroth: “Hey!” *pause* “I’m not too thrilled to be in here with you….either.”

Lark: *crosses her arms* “Well, what now?”

Sephiroth: “I bet there is a way to get this door open.” *gets up and starts banging on it* “Come on! Open up! I implore you to open.”

Lark: “I don’t think talking to it’s going to help.”

Sephiroth: “Maybe one of your stupid friends can help us.” *yells at the top of his lungs* “SOMEONE HELP!!! HOJO TRAPPED US IN HERE!!! HHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPP!!!”

Lark: *covering her ears* “Geez, Sephiroth! You’re louder than me!”

Sephiroth: *waits, his ear pressed against the door, trying to hear someone on the other side. he frowns and plops down on the floor* “Nothing.”

Lark: “I guess everyone actually found something else to do today….for once.”

Sephiroth: “Out of all the days for everyone to get a life…it has be today.”

(silence)

Lark: “So….what’s up, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: “Nothin’ much…what’s up with you?”

Lark: “Nothing much.”

(silence)

Lark: “Fight anyone good lately?”

Sephiroth: “No.” *narrows eyes* “You keep stopping me, remember?”

Lark: *remembering* “Oh yeah…”

(silence)

Sephiroth: *crosses arms* “So…how’s that stupid Gundam Wing guy?”

Lark: “Heero?”

Sephiroth: “…if that’s the idiot’s name.”

Lark: “You don’t get along with anyone, do you?”

Sephiroth: “………………………………not really.” *pause* “*We* get along…”

Lark: *laughs* “We do?”

Sephiroth: “I get along with you better than I get along with everyone else.”

Lark: *thinks, then nods* “True…”

Sephiroth: *suddenly pressing his ear against the door* “Wait! I hear something!”

Lark: “Whoo hoo!” *presses her ear against the door and listens*

Selphie: “Hi, Quistis! Wow, that’s a lot of books you got there….encyclopedias, huh? Where’d you get them?”

Quistis: *out of breath* “Garden.”

Selphie: “Oh! Did you buy them from Headmaster Cid?”

Quistis: “…yeah…that’s what I did.”

Lark: *bangs on the door* “Selphie, Quistis, HELP!!”

Quistis: “Is that Lark?”

Selphie: “Sounds like she’s in trouble.” *sounds of feet running closer* “Lark? Is that you?”

Lark: “Yes! You gotta help! Hojo, Scarlet, Heidegger and Nida locked me and Sephiroth in here, and they glued the door shut with some sort of stuff that won’t give up for days!”

Selphie: “You’re in there with Sephiroth?!”

Sephiroth: *shaking his fist* “Gotta problem with that, strawberry shortcake?”

Quistis: *mutters* “I *still* don’t think Nida’s all that bad…”

Lark: “Go get help!!”

Selphie: “Who should we get?”

Lark: “I don’t know….anyone willing! Oh oh! Don’t tell them Sephiroth is in here! Then they might not come!”

Sephiroth: “Hey!”

Lark: *gives him a look* “It’s true.”

Sephiroth: *crosses arms and pouts* “Even so.”

Selphie: “Okay, Lark. Don’t worry! Quistis and I are going to get help! Everything will be fine.” *sounds of feet walking away*

Quistis: “Hey, Selphie. Help me hide the encyclopedia’s first.”

Selphie: “Why?”

Quistis: “…..because they’re kind of stolen.”

(they leave the area)

Lark: “So….what do you think?”

Sephiroth: “I think we’re gonna be in here awhile.”


(several minutes go by. Lark and Sephiroth have seated themselves on the floor to wait. finally they hear voices on the other side of the door and get up excitedly)

Lark: “Yeah! Help! Who’s there?”

Selphie: “Uh…let’s see here. I got Ashley, Noelle, Katie, Cid, Barret, Red, Irvine, Rufus, Reeve,  and all the Turks.”

Lark: “Why so few FF8 characters?”

Selphie: “They went to the beach.”

Lark: “Why didn’t Irvine go?”

Selphie: *whispers, but still rather loudly* “He’s afraid of the water.”

Sephiroth: *rolls on the floor laughing*

Irvine: “Selphie!”

Selphie: “…whoops! Tee-hee!.”

Lark: “Ok, let’s get down to business.” *kicks Sephiroth* “Come on, Sephiroth. Or I’ll tell everyone you’re afraid of cl–“

Sephiroth: *clapping a hand over Lark’s mouth* “No! Anything but that!”

Lark: *pushes Sephiroth away* “Alright then. Now, how do you propose to get us out of here?”

Red: “Well, why don’t you—“

Barret: “Yo! Shut up, hog!”

Red: “I am *not* a hog! That is not even close. Where are you getting these ideas?”

Barret: “I’ll get ’em out.”

Selphie: “Yippee!”

Barret: *raises gun arm* “Yo, step away from the door!”

(lark and sephy do as they’re told)

Barret: *shoots like crazy at the door* “Ha ha!! This’ll do it!” *stops firing and tries to open the door. It doesn’t budge, and now there’s just a lot of bullets lodged in the door*

Lark: “What was that all about!?”

Barret: “Damn!”

Sephiroth: “You stupid home boy!”

Barret: “You shut your damn mouth, girly man!”

Sephiroth: “GIRLY MAN!” *rams his shoulder into the door* “Ow!” *rubs his shoulder*

(rufus and irvine laugh from the other side of the door)

Sephiroth: *mutters* “Stupid idiots…think they’re so cool cause they’re free…”

Lark: *edging away from Sephy* “Eh heh…anyone got a better idea?”

Cid: “@#$%@*^>{<@#!”

(lark and sephy stand back…again)

Cid: *kicks the door as hard as he can* “@#$@!” *grabs his foot and starts hopping around the room screaming in pain* “@#$%@ @#*^^!@$@ <{@$M<@#:!!!!!”

Quistis: “I think he broke his foot.”

Sephiroth: *mutters* “Chain smoking imbecile.”

Quistis: “I better take him to the hospital.” *helps Cid out*

Lark: *sighs* “What now? And be *careful* everyone! I don’t want any lawsuits!”

Ashley: “Don’t worry, Lark! We’ll get you out of there!”

Katie: *desperately* “Sephiroth?! Are you okay!?”

Sephiroth: *twitches* “I *was*….”

Rufus: *to the Turks, who are leaning against the wall: Rude is half asleep, Reno is singing to himself, and Elena is hanging onto a very reluctant Tseng* “Hey, why don’t you guys help?”

Reno: *stops singing momentarily to shrug* “Eh.”

Rufus: *hands on hips* “As your boss, I *order* you to help.”

Tseng: “Actually, Heidegger’s our boss…if you want to get technical.”

Rufus: *glares* “Yeah, and I’m *his* boss.”

Elena: “Tseng, maybe we *should* help. We *are* Turks!”

Tseng: *looks at her in surprise* “Elena….for once you’re right.”

Elena: *face lights up* “I *am*!”

Tseng: *steps away from the wall* “Come on. Let’s help.”

Elena: *fist in the air* “Yeah! Turks rock!”

Tseng: *looks back at her* “Elena….”

Elena: *meekly* “Sorry.”

Tseng: “Come on, Reno…” *glances at Rude* “Would you wake him up?”

Reno: *sighs, and pokes Rude* “Come on, buddy. We have to work now.”

Rude: *getting up* “I’m with ya.”

(the turks all march over to the door, looking confident. Rufus stands next to Reeve, watching with pride)

Reeve: “So….what are they going to do?”

Rufus: *loses the look and just looks blank* “Uh….”

(turks stand around, thinking.)

Noelle: “Come on! You’re Turks! You can’t think of a way to open this stupid door! It’s a door! Stupid lame ass door! Anyone could open it!”

Barret: “Yo, I couldn’t open it!”

Noelle: *sweatdrops* “Eh heh.” *innocent smile*

(meanwhile, back inside…)

Lark: *leans against the door sadly* “Why do I have a terrible feeling that I’m stuck in here until the glue wears off?”

Sephiroth: *thinks of Katie outside* “I don’t really mind….”

Lark: “Why did they do this? When I get out I’m just gonna sic everyone on them and make sure they never come near me again.”

Sephiroth: *shrugs* “They’re dumb.”

Lark: “They’re dumb….meanwhile *we* can’t get out.” *turns and bangs on the door* “Hey, Turks? Any ideas yet?”

Tseng: “We’re thinking along the lines of ramming the trunk of a tree into the door….what do you think?”

Lark: “Great! Fine! Dandy! JUST DO IT!”

Tseng: “….I’ll take that as a go ahead.”

(sounds of people leaving)

Irvine: *laughs* “Hey, Sephiroth. Bet you wish that you were out here.”

Sephiroth: *grinds his teeth* “Not really.”

Irvine: “Why? You gotta crush on Lark?”

Sephiroth: *a little too defensively* “No!!!” *cough* “It’s because then I would have to be out there with you!”

Irvine: “Good thing you’re not…I’ve got my best gun with me.”

Sephiroth: *clenches fists and grows really red with anger. reaches for masamune*

Lark: *urgently* “Irvine, sweetie, honey, baby-doll! I have to be stuck in here with him! *Please* don’t provoke him!”

Irvine: *tips hat–too bad Lark can’t see! :(* “Sorry, darlin’. Just couldn’t help myself.”

Sephiroth: *plops down on the floor* “Stupid cowboy geek.”

(sounds of people coming back…it’s the turks, dragging the trunk of what once was a very large tree)

Reno: “Okay, big piece of tree coming through! Clear the area!”

Rude: “……watch out.”

Elena: “This is going to be sooooo cool!”

Tseng: “Elena….calm yourself.”

Elena: *frowns* “Sorry, Tseng.”

Rufus: *crosses his arms and says with confidence* “Just watch the experts at work.”

Reeve: *mutters* “I bet it doesn’t work.”

Reno: *calls to the other side* “Okay, Lark, I suggest you get away from the door. Sephiroth, I could really care less where the hell you stand.” *laughs*

Sephiroth: “Go to hell!”

Tseng: *as they line up the tree with the door* “Okay, at the count of three we smash into the door. Ready? One. Two. Three!”

(the turks smash the tree into the door but it won’t even budge.)

Lark: *hopefully*  “Well?”

Noelle: “…..uh…how do your options from opening the door from the *inside* look?”

Lark: *face falls* “It didn’t work?!”

Reeve: “Told ya.”

Rufus: *angrily* “Shut up!”

Elena: “How could we fail!? We’re the Turks!”

Tseng: *sighs* “Nobody’s perfect, Elena.”

Reno: “Well this sucks!”

Rude: “….agreed.”

Rufus: *hands on hips, barking orders* “Well then get this tree trunk out of here, you failures! Then I want you to drop and give me twenty!”

Reno: “Hey! What are you, our gym teacher!?”

Rufus: *glares* “DO IT!”

(the turks scurry out with the tree)

Ashley: “Looks like we’re back to square one.”

Katie: *sobs* “Sephiroth!!!”

Red: “You know, if you’d just listen to me—“

Barret: “Shut up, zebra.”

Red: “Zebra?! Where are you getting these obscure animal names?!”

Lark: *hopefully* “Any more ideas? Rufus? Irvine?”

Irvine: “Sorry, babe.”

Rufus: “There’s nothing more I can think of.”

Lark: *really scraping the bottom of the barrel* “Reeve?”

Reeve: “Sorry.”

Lark: *sighs* “Well….I guess we’re stuck….” *sits on the floor sadly*

Selphie: “Don’t worry, Lark!”

Ashley: “Yeah! We’ll regroup, and get more people, and then we’ll all come up with something! We’ll get you out of there yet!”

(the turks came back in, looking unhappy)

Reno: *brushing himself off* “I *hate* push-ups.”

Rude: “….yeah.”

Rufus: *glaring at the turks* “Okay you guys. We’re heading off to think of a new idea to get Lark out of there. Come on!” *he starts to walk away*

Reno: “Aw! We have to just leave her in there…with Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: “Oh *come* on! I’m not *that* bad!”

Reno: *knocking on the door* “Hey, Lark? Want me and Irvine to sing for you?”

Sephiroth: *already covering his ears* “Oh no!”

Reno: *frowns* “Fine…see ya later.”

(everyone’s gone)

Lark: *curled up in a ball against the door* “I *don’t* believe this….” *tear*

Sephiroth: *shocked* “Are you crying?”

Lark: *wipes away tears* “Maybe…”

Sephiroth: “You *never* cry.”

Lark: “Shut up.”

Sephiroth: “Is being locked up with me so bad….??”

Lark: *looks at him, then shakes her head* “No…no, it’s not bad at all. I’m glad I have someone here with me.”

Sephiroth: *coming over to sit next to her* “Well, don’t you worry, cause the second we get outta here I’m gonna go and kill those 4 idiots for you, okay?”

Lark: *smiles* “Okay. And for once I won’t stop you.”


(all the characters are having a meeting. Cid and Quistis are back, Cid’s foot is in a cast and he’s on crutches. Squall and the gang have also returned from the beach. Squall and Rinoa have nice tans, Zell’s all sunburned, and Seifer’s trying to get sand out of his hair. Laguna, Kiros and Ward are still in their bathing suits. Selphie has also managed to gather Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Vincent, Bria…pretty much the whole gang, except Lizzy and Shell.)

Red: *goes to walk into the room, muttering* “Perhaps someone in *here* will listen to my plan.”

Barret: *stops him* “Yo! No emus!”

Red: “Emu?! That’s a type of bird!!”

Barret: “Yeah…no birds.”

Red: “But I’m *not* a bird! I’m not even close!”

(barret slams the door shut on him)

Red: *mouth hanging open* “Well *I’ve* never. That’s it…I’m going to visit Grandfather.” *he leaves*

(back inside)

Rufus: *bangs his fist on the table* “Quiet! I call this meeting to order!”

Barret: “Yo! Who put that @#$% Shinra in charge!?”

Rufus: *glares* “I did.”

Seifer: “Why can’t someone from *our* game be in charge?” *grins* “Like me?”

Rinoa: *pushing Squall forward* “Let Squall be in charge!”

Squall: *hand to his head* “I *hate* being the leader!”

Ashley: *pushing Rufus away from his seat at the head of the table* “Fine, if you’re going to argue, *I’m* in charge.”

Rufus: *glares at Barret* “See what you did?”

Ashley: *glares at Rufus* “ANYWAY…we’re here to figure out a way to get Lark, and Sephiroth, despite what I have heard from *some* of you, out of that room.”

Cloud: “Who?”

Tifa: *pats him on the shoulder* “It’s okay, Cloud. Go back to sleep.”

Ashley: “Any ideas?”

(silence)

Zell: “Have you tried kicking the door open?”

Cid: *showing off his broken foot* “@#%@*!^$!!”

Zell: *eyes widening* “Oh. Well screw that.”

Seifer: *pushes him* “You’re an idiot, chicken wuss! You can’t kick open a metal door!”

Zell: *grabbing his shoulder* “Ow! My sunburn!”

Noelle: “We’ve tried shooting it, kicking it, and ramming a tree into it.”

Reno: *mutters* “Stupid tree.”

Yuffie: *searching through her bag* “Sorry, I don’t have any ‘exit’ materia.”

Seifer: *mumbles* “Like that crap would have worked anyway.”

Yuffie: *throws shuriken at Seifer* “Take that, jerk!”

Seifer: *falls to the floor as a little number 1543 appears over his head. He weakly pulls himself back in his chair* “Does anyone have a hi-potion?”

Zell: “Ha ha! You got hurt!”

Seifer: *punches him in the shoulder* “Shut up, chicken wuss!”

Zell: *grabbing his shoulder* “Ow! I told you about my sunburn!”

Quistis: *thinking* “I’m trying to think if Garden has anything I could steal–er…I mean borrow…”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Why don’t we just break a hole in the wall!?”

Kiros: *muttering* “Ward says that the dumbest idea he ever heard.”

Ward: “……..!” *pulls Kiro’s chair out from under him. he falls to the floor.*

Kiros: “Ow!” *gets up, rubbing his butt and glaring at Ward*

Laguna: *scratches his head* “Ward? You think it’s dumb?”

Ward: “……..” *buries his head in his hands*

Ashley: “I think Lark would rather we keep the walls intact, Laguna. They’re not easily replaceable like the door. Besides….then the whole room might collapse.”

Laguna: *shrugs* “Curiosity killed the emu.”

Kiros: *exasperated* “What the hell are you talking about?! It’s *cat*! CAT YOU IDIOT!!”

Laguna: *looks at him in surprise* “Kiros?”

Kiros: *sweatdrops. points to Ward* “That was him.”

Ward: “……..!” *shakes head, points to Kiros*

Laguna: *scratches his head* “Wait…I’m confused now.”

Ashley: “Forget it! Let’s just think of something else.”

Selphie: “Heeeey! Maybe we could get some explosives, put them by the door, and then KABOOM!!!!”

Irvine: “But….you see the object is to get them out *without* killing them.”

Selphie: “Oh yeah….” *frowns*

Vincent: *to Bria* “This doesn’t look promising.”

Rufus: *overhearing. starts to pull Bria away* “Hey! No hitting on my girlfriend!”

Bria: “Rufus, I’m not—“

Vincent: “But I was not–“

Rufus: *cutting them both off* “Sure!”

Reeve: *glares at Rufus* “What are you doing?”

Rufus: *innocent smile* “Taking Bria out of the glare of the fluorescent lights. They give you cancer, you know.”

Reeve: *taking Bria by the hand and leading her away* “They do not.”

Ashley: “This is getting us nowhere.”

Noelle: “No kidding.”

Katie: *head in her hands* “Poor Sephiroth.”

Ashley: “Poor Sephiroth? Poor Lark is more like it!”

Noelle: “Yeah…I feel sorry for her.”


(lark and sephiroth are still sitting next to the door, her head on his shoulder)

Lark: “Why do I have the feeling that they’re not coming back?”

Sephiroth: “Cause they’re a bunch of idiots who can’t get anything done?”

Lark: “Come on! Give them a *little* credit.”

Sephiroth: *getting up* “No, come on! This is probably what they’re doing!” *gets up in front of her. he starts to do imitations, first barret* “Yo, if I couldn’t get it open, ain’t no one that can! Don’t waste your time! I’m the best person in here!”

Lark: *laughs*

Sephiroth: *continues* “Hi, I’m Rufus, and I’m in charge now cause Sephiroth killed my daddy. We have to break in there cause I don’t want Sephiroth sitting on the couch cause I’m a whiny baby.”

Lark: *laughs*

Sephiroth: *keeps going* “Yee haw! Howdy everyone! I’m Irvine the useless cowboy! I just stand around all day and insult people! I can’t help when it comes to anything that requires thought!”

Lark: *still laughing* “Why am I still laughing? This is mean!”

Sephiroth: *on a roll* “Duh…I’m Cloud…I think. Who are you people? Why am I here? Where is here? Here is where? Huh?”

Lark: *on the floor laughing*

Sephiroth: *trying not to laugh himself* “Hey, hey everyone! I’m Laguna, president of loser land! My friends makes fun of me constantly, but I’m too dumb to realize it!”

Lark: *still laughing* “That’s *so* mean!”

Sephiroth: *continues* “I’m Cid Highwind! All I do is curse a @#$@% streak and everyone seems to understand me! I think we should @#!$*^!@#!@%! Where’s that @#@% cat/dog!”

Lark: *practically crying with laughter*

Sephiroth: “Hi, I’m Reno! I’m too lazy to help. Does anyone have an issue of Seventeen?”

Lark: *can’t stop laughing* “Stop it!!” *laughs*

Sephiroth: *plops down on the floor* “I could go on. But that is *so* what’s going on in there.”

Lark: *wipes the tears from her eyes* “Oh boy. Probably.” *silence. she hears something in the hallway* “Is someone out there?” *she and sephy press their ears against the door to listen*

Red: *mutters* “Grandfather appreciates me….calling me an emu….they’ll never figure out a way to free Lark without me.”

Lark: *bangs on the door* “Red!! Is that you?”

Red: “…yes.”

Lark: “Red, do you have a way to get us out of here?”

Red: *face lights us* “As a matter of fact I do…”

Lark: “Tell! Tell!”

Red: “Well, if we just caught Hojo and threatened to hang him up by his lab coat, then he would most likely give us the substance to undo that glue.”

Lark: *thinks* “Hey, he’s got a point! Hojo always makes something that undoes his potions.”

Red: *beams* “We just need a good way to scare him.”

Lark: *thinks, then turns to Sephiroth* “Sephy, he’s your father.”

Sephiroth: *covers his ears, closes his eyes and shakes his head* “No! Stop saying that!”

Lark: “Come on, Sephy! What’s Hojo afraid of?”

Sephiroth: *returns to normal with a sigh* “The same thing I’m afraid of….”


(squall, zell, rinoa, seifer, irvine and red all sneak down to where Hojo’s lab is rumored to be. they’re all dressed as clowns)

Squall: *mumbles* “I feel like an idiot.”

Rinoa: “I think you look cute.”

Red: “Shush! We’re almost there!”

(they come to a door that has ‘The Great Hojo’s Lab’ written on it. It’s open a crack, and the gang peaks inside to see Hojo happily mixing chemicals together.)

Zell: “I’m gonna pound him good.”

Red: “At the count of three we attack. One, two–“

Irvine: *shaking* “I can’t do this!”

Squall: *pokes him* “Come on! It’s just a…sign…yeah.”

Irvine: “Huh?”

Red: “Three!”

(they rush inside, squall dragging a reluctant irvine by the arm.)

Hojo: *spotting the 6 clowns coming for him* “AHHHHHHHHH!!! CLOWNS!!!” *tries to run, but Zell grabs him and pins him against the wall* “Ahhh!!! Please don’t hurt me!! I hate the circus!”

Zell: “Give us the formula that undoes that glue!”

Hojo: “No! I’ve worked too hard to give up so easily!”

Rinoa: “Then we’ll be forced to….tickle you.”

Hojo: “No!!!”

Irvine: *mutters to himself* “Like anyone would touch you anyway.”

Squall: “Hand over the formula!”

Hojo: *taking a vial from his pocket* “Here take it! Just let me go!!”

Rinoa: *taking the vial* “Thank you.”

Zell: *dropping Hojo* “Bye bye!”

(the clowns all run from the room)

Hojo: “Damn! Foiled again!”


(the gang has gathered outside the door. Vincent is spraying the cracks of the door with the substance. when he’s done, he unlocks the door and turns the handle. the door opens.)

Everyone: “YEAH!!!”

Lark: *coming out* “I’m free! I’m free! Thanks everyone!” *pats red on the head* “Thanks, Red.”

Red: “You’re welcome.”

Irvine: “Hey! Where’s Sephiroth?”

Lark: *turns and calls back into the room* “Sephiroth!” *pause to sigh* “They’re *not* wearing their clown costumes!”

Sephiroth: *crawling out from behind the couch. he sees everyone staring at him* “That’s not why I was back here, you know.”

Rufus: *arms crossed “*Sure*…”

Sephiroth: “It’s not! I was….looking for….a button.”

Lark: *yawns* “I’m tired.” *goes back in the room and lays on the couch* “Oh, by the way. Someone go out shopping for a new door! One that’s not metal!”

Quistis: “I think I can get one from Garden….”

THE END

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