#42 – What You Can’t See In The Dark (part one)

Noelle: “Are you *sure* it doesn’t involve chipmunks and fruit juice?!?!?!”

Originally Published: 10/14/00 . 25 pages

Lots of bad things can happen in the dark…like murder!

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

This is a guest written ramble. My friend who wrote it was the queen of the “black out” parody, so this was the result of that.

(Lark, Sephy, Rufus, Irvine, Reno, JT, Shell, Rude, Barret, Cid, Red, Noelle, Tseng, Reeve, Seifer, Vincent, Zell, Squall, and Rinoa are sitting around the ramble looking *extremely* bored (yes, extremely today). Lark is reading something, Sephy is trying to get her attention while Vincent keeps calling him “angel”, Reno is whining to Noelle, who is playing with JT’s hair. JT is trying to stop Shell from painting his nails, Rude is giving Shell jealous looks, Noelle is complaining about something, Zell is bothering Squall, who is trying to make out with Rinoa, Barret and Cid are trying to teach Red tricks, Tseng is making advances at Reeve, Rufus is hitting Irvine up for money, and Seifer is practicing his smile in the mirror.)

Sephiroth: C’mon, Lark, I’m bored!

Vincent: I don’t think she wants to be bothered, tenshi.

Sephiroth: Stop it with that! And she *always* wants to be bothered by me, right Lark?

Lark: yeah, whatever…

Reno: Noelle, I’m bored too! Give me something to do!

Noelle: *putting butterfly clips JT’s hair* Not right now!

JT: *sweatdrop* *looks at Noelle, who’s doing his hair, and Shell who is painting his nails* Uh…

Shell: Stop moving your fingers, the polish’ll smudge!

JT: *lotsa sweatdrops* *to Lark* Help me…

Rude: I wish she’d paint *my* nails…

JT: Good! Shell, go paint Rude’s nails…

Shell: Nope, you’re more fun!

Rude: *jealous looks* *sad sigh* I can never win…

Noelle: *grabs the bottle from Shell’s hands and puts it away, getting out black polish* Hee hee hee… *starts where Shell left off, and in turn Shell does JT’s hair*

JT: Aw geez…

Noelle: Aw, it’s not that bad, cutie! I’m gonna make you punk!

JT: Do I wanna be punk?

Noelle: Sure!!!


Zell: *punching air* Hey, Squall, wanna see my new moves?!?!?!

Squall: *pulls away from Rinoa* Not now, Zell!

Zell: oh… *frown*

Seifer: That’s cuz you suck, chicken-wuss!

Zell: *flips out* Stop it, Seifer!

Seifer: Whatever! *keeps practicing*

Squall: Huh? Eh… *goes back to what he was doing*

Barret: C’mon, rhino, jump! Jump! Roll over!

Cid: @@*&)()($^@$@!#%!&*%!@%&#(**#^@$!!!!

Red: Good god, man, I am not a dog! You cannot teach me tricks! I am an intelligent being, you are degrading me!

Barret: Aw, c’mon, sloth, you can do tricks!

Cid: @$#^*@^%@@#$%^&*!

Red: I am not a sloth!

Barret: Fine, parakeet. *puts a leash on him*

Red: *sigh*

Tseng: So, uh, Reeve, what’re you doing after work tomorrow?

Reeve: well I wasn’t planning on anything, why?

Tseng: Would you like to go out with me?

Reeve: uh…

Tseng: I mean for a drink! I mean at a bar! I mean…crap!

Reeve: *covering up* oh, yeah, sure, for a nice friendly drink, to take the edge off. *smile*

Tseng: *sweatdrop* yeah…

Rufus: Hey Irvine, got any money?

Irvine: Well what in the name of the west would a rich boy like you need money for?

Rufus: *greedy look in his eyes* For *spending…*

Sephiroth: Come *on*, Lark, I’m bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lark: yeah, I know! Hm, I feel like having a party!!!

Reno: *ears perk up* I heard party!!!!!!

Noelle: Hooray!!! ^_^

Lark: Okay… Rufus!

Rufus: Yes oh beautiful web mistress? *smile smile*

Lark: You’re going to be funding a party for us! ^_^

Rufus: *gulp* I am?

Lark: *pulls out whip* Yes!

Rufus: *sweatdrop* O-okay, Lark…

Lark: Good! Have it ready by tonight. Toodles!!! *she trots off*

Everyone: *blink blink*

JT: she certainly has a way with the guys, doesn’t she?

Noelle: yeah…

Noelle: *filing nails* You’ll get used to it.


(Everyone is gathered around the ramble room when the doorbell rings)

Noelle: I’ll get it! *opens the door* Eek! *faints*

Reno: *rushes over* Noelle, Noelle! *shakes her* Wake up! *looks up*

(In the doorway stands someone who looks familiar…someone slimy…greasy…someone who looked like…but not quite…Hojo!!!)

Reno: Oh, ew!

Noelle: *comes to* Oh, ick, gross!

Sephiroth: *faints also*

Lark: Eek!

Hojo look alike: Hello, all! I am Hojo’s long lost twin brother, Gojo!

Everyone: GOJO?!?!?!?!

Gojo: Yes! *sees Sephy* Nephew!!!!

Sephiroth: *girlish scream* EEK! *starts running, being chased by Gojo*

JT: Shouldn’t we help him?

Noelle: Nah.

Lark: Hold it! *chases Gojo around a few times, then into a vacant room* *locks the door behind her* Phew!

Everyone: *odd looks*

Shell: What’re we gonna do about that wacko you just locked up?

Lark: Well I dunno…

Shell: *excitedly* Can we get Suboshi to beat him up with his balls?!

Lark: No! We gotta handle this ourselves, and fast!

Noelle: And how, dear, do you propose we do that?

Lark: uh, I dunno. First we gotta get some stuff…

Noelle: Chipmunks and a gallon of fruit juice?!

Lark: Um…no? Anyway, me and Sephy will go get some rope…

Reno: Wonder what *that’s* gonna be for… *lazy grin*

Sephiroth: That’s it, you’re DEAD!!!!!!!! *chases Reno with masamune*

JT: *Now* can we help him?

Noelle: No!

Lark: Sephiroth!!!

Sephiroth: *keeps chasing Reno* I’ll make you not alive!!!!!!! *swings and misses Reno’s head, but hit’s the electrical box!!!*

*lights go out*

Sephiroth: Oh crap.

Lark: Sephy-sama, look what you did!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sephiroth: Sorry, Lark-

Lark: I’m very disappointed in you, you know better than that!!!

Noelle: Well what now? We have a psycho guy in one room and everyone else in here with no electricity!

Everyone: *censored thoughts*

Lark: Okay, here’s what we’ll do. Sephiroth, you are gonna help me with the other fuse box in the back. Noelle, you and JT go find the rope to tie up Gojo. Everyone else wait here so nobody gets hurt.

Reno: *quietly sing-song* Sephy lo-oves La-ark! Se-phy loves La-ark!

Sephiroth: Reno, if I could see you right now, I’d kill you.

Reno: *shuts up* You’re no fun.

Lark: Okay everybody?

Everyone: *mumble mumble fine*

Lark: Good. *grabs Sephy* Let’s go! *drags him away*

Noelle: *grabs JT’s hand* C’mon, Lark has some rope in her room…

JT: heh heh…

Rufus: *looks to Zell on his right and Reno on his left* Great, I’m stuck with the *loser* brigade!’

Zell: *flips out* *What* did you just call me?

Seifer: He called you a chicken-wuss!

Zell: Shut up, Seifer! *tries to swing at Seifer but misses and punches the wall* Ouchies!!!

Reeve: Tseng, is that *your* hand?

Tseng: *fakely* Oh, uh, sorry, thought that was *my* thigh… *removes his hand*

Reeve: Oh, you didn’t have to do that…

Tseng: okay! *puts his hand back*

(Lark and Sephy are in the back. Lark is shining the flashlight around looking for a fusebox)

Lark: I can’t find it! Sephy-sama, you’re supposed to be helping me!

Sephiroth: Stupid woman, you’re useless!

Lark: watch it, Sephiroth! Ugh, I am so sick of you!

Sephiroth: *sad frown* *voice breaks* Fine…

Lark: oh, I’m sorry, Sephy! I didn’t mean to make you cry! *gives him a kiss on the cheek* Better?

Sephiroth: *good thing it’s dark!* Uh…no!

(Noelle and JT are looking for the rope)

Noelle: *looks under the bed* I don’t see it…

JT: *picks up some loose string* is this it?

Noelle: *examines it* Eh, good enough!


Noelle: What was that?!

JT: Uh, I dunno…Maybe we should be getting back…

Noelle: Damn straight! *runs back to the ramble room, where Noelle is trying to keep everyone from panicking*

Noelle: Okay, now, everybody, j-just calm down! *sweatdrop*

Seifer: Keep talking so I can follow the sound of your voice! *puts a hand on who he *thinks* is Noelle*

Rinoa: oooooooh… *starts making out with an unsuspecting Seifer*

(Lark and Sephy are about to kiss when they hear the crash)

Lark: OMG, what was that?!?!?!

Sephiroth: I don’t know!!!

Lark: *drags him back to the ramble room*

Sephiroth: *damn!!!*

Lark: *sees everybody is okay* What happened?

Noelle: That’s what *we* were wondering?

Red: Yes, it was quite loud.

Barret: Yo, can it, mastodon!

Red: My word, man, this is absurd!

Cid: @#$%^&*()(*&^$@#$%^&!!!!

Barret: yeah, damn straight!

Lark: *grabs a flashlight* Noelle, Noelle, JT, Shell, Irvine, Rufus and Sephy, come with me. The rest of you stay here until we get back and don’t fool around!

Everyone: Yes, Lark.

(So she takes her group down a short hallway and they stand outside the door to the room where Gojo is locked up)

Lark: *presses her ear against the door* I don’t hear anything…I’m gonna see what’s up… *feels around her pockets for the key* Um… *sweatdrop*

Sephiroth: What did you do this time, woman?

Lark: I can’t find the key…

Noelle: Good! Now he can’t come out!

Lark: No, I need to open this door! I think we need to break it down.

Irvine: I can shoot the lock off.

Rufus: So can I!

Sephiroth: You all suck, I’ll cut the door open!

*They get into an argument*

Lark: JT, would you please?

JT: Sure! *picks the lock and the door clicks open*

Lark: Thanks, hon! *gives him a hug*

JT: *blushes*

Noelle: Spare me…

(They all file in)

Everyone: *GASP!!!*

(Gojo is nowhere to be found, but the window is broken and there is a trail of blood leading outside to a bloody knife)

Lark: He’s gone!

Sephiroth: Let’s go check it out!!! *runs out excitedly*

Noelle: *crawls through the window by herself and walks outside. When she reaches the scene of the crime, she sees Lark and the others standing around* *gasp* Lark, you did this?!?!?!?! I’m shocked!

Everyone: *sweatdrops*

Noelle: Baka! The *normal* people went out the *door*!

Noelle: Oh, ok! ^_^

Lark: So what do you think this is?

Irvine: Looks to me like a bloody knife.

Lark: Yeah, but why is it here? And where’s Gojo? WHAT IF HE’S A PSYCHO KILLER ON THE LOOSE?!?!?!

Noelle: *glares at Sephy* He wouldn’t be the *only* one…

Sephiroth: Hey! I- *feels something dripping on him* *looks up and pales*

(Gojo’s body is hanging from the tree, dripping blood on Sephiroth)

Sephiroth: ACK! *runs out from under the tree and hides behind Shell*

Shell: Get off me, freak, you’ll stain my new pink leisure suit!!! *pushes him away*

Lark: We gotta find out who did this!

Noelle: Why, so we can thank ’em?

Lark: No, so we can chain ’em up! We can’t have a psycho killer running around!-

Noelle: Uh, once again I must make a point of Sephiroth. *pokes him*

Sephiroth: shut up, lush!

Noelle: *sticks her tongue out*

Lark: Seriously, guys! This is serious! And we need to cut the body down.

Noelle: Okay, talking from experience, you shouldn’t do that, it’s evidence.

Sephiroth: Plus it makes a nice lawn decoration.

Everyone: *double sweatdrops*

Lark: So any thoughts as to who it could’ve been?

Noelle: *whispers to Noelle* Maybe it was the mass serial puppy kickers…

Noelle: No, I think I know who it was…

Everyone: *looks at Sephy*

Sephiroth: Hey, it wasn’t me! I was with Lark when it happened. Right, Lark?

Lark: *remembers what they were about to do* *sweatdrop* Yeah…

Everyone: Fine. *look at JT*

JT: Hey, uh, you all got the wrong idea! *sweatdrop* *pokes Noelle* Sure it wasn’t you?

Noelle: No, you took my knife away, remember? *frown*

Lark: We’re in a bind here! There’s no light *and* we’ve got a killer going on a carnage fest!

Noelle: So…?

Lark: *thinks a minute* Alright, minna, back inside. I think I have a plan…

Noelle: Are you *sure* it doesn’t involve chipmunks and fruit juice?!?!?!

Lark: NO!!!

Noelle: *garden snap*

(so everyone goes back inside to listen to Lark drone on and on with some ridiculous plan that we know won’t work… j/k ^_^)


(Everyone has flashlights and they are sitting around looking at Lark in the center of the room.)

Reeve: *trying to ignore Tseng pawing him* Lark, what are we doing again?

Lark: listen up, everybody, cuz this is serious! …We found Gojo dead-

Everybody: *cheers*

Lark: *whistles* QUIET!… But this presents a bigger problem. Somebody here is *don don DOOOOOOOOOON!* A *murderer!*

Everyone: *gasp*

Lark: And we need to figure out who. Now I know it’s not me, it’s not Sephy, it’s not JT or Noelle, and it’s not Noelle or Shell…although sometimes I wonder…

Shell: Hey!

Lark: So that leaves the rest of *you*. We need to figure this out fast, but I still need to get the lights working. So here’s the plan. Sephy and I will go back to fixing the lights. Noelle, you need to take JT, Irvine, Reno, Rufus, Shell, Rude, Barret, Cid, and Red and go search the rest of the house for someone missing who was here before or someone suspicious. Noelle, you need to stay here with everybody else and keep them calm and together. I trust you. Can you handle that?

Noelle: Why do *I* hafta stay?!

Lark: Cuz! You’re responsible. You wanna make it more interesting? You can…uh…make shadow puppets or something with the flashlights.

Noelle: SHADOW PUPPETS?!?!?! That’s *lame*!

Lark: Just do it and keep them entertained! Ok, everybody?

Everyone: yeah.

Lark: Good. *hands Noelle’s group some flashlights and goes off with Sephiroth*

Noelle: C’mon, guys, we better get this over with… *they leave*

Everyone left: *stare expectantly at Noelle*

Noelle: *heh heh* *sweatdrops* *makes a pathetic looking bunny on the wall*


(Lark is fiddling with some wires as Sephiroth holds the flashlight)

Lark: Ugh, I’m no good at this! *stops and heaves a frustrated sigh* I just need to relax!

Sephiroth: *I’ll* help you relax…

Lark: What was that, Sephy?

Sephiroth: Uh…nothing, woman!

Lark: aw…too bad…

Sephiroth: Uh… *shifts oddly before taking a leap of faith and kissing her*

*When suddenly-*


Lark: *breaks away from Sephy* What the hell?!


Noelle: This bites! I wanna go somewhere!

Seifer: *still making out with Rinoa*

Noelle: *squints* Seifer? Seifer?!

Seifer: Huh? *looks down at a flustered Rinoa* ACK!

Noelle: ???

Seifer: uh… *sits next to Noelle and slips an arm around her*

Noelle: …

Seifer: *sweatdrops* *pokes Noelle* This *is*, Noelle, right?

Noelle: uh, yeah, why?

Seifer: *sigh of relief* okay…

*sounds of flesh against flesh and low moans escape from the corner*

????: Oh, Tseng…Tseng…

Everyone: *sweatdrops*

Seifer: That’s just *gross*…

Noelle: You know, we could be doing the same thing right now…

*so they start making out*

Zell: *taps Noelle* aren’t you supposed to be entertaining us or something?

Noelle: Go away, Zell!

Seifer: yeah, get lost, chicken-wuss!

Zell: *flips out* I’ll kill you all!

Vincent: I am already dead.

Squall: *looks at him* whatever.

Noelle: So are *you* the killer, Zell?

Zell: *goes to open his mouth*


Everyone: *gasp*


(Noelle and group are standing in the hallway outside the ramble room with flashlights.)

Noelle: alright everyone, I don’t think splitting up is such a good idea, so we’ll just take it one room at a time.

Reno: *raises hand*

Noelle: Yes hun?

Reno: Will there be booze?

Noelle: Not now, Reno.

Reno: *shocked* What?!?!?!?!

Irvine: You heard the lil’ lady. Although I wouldn’t mind a nice bottle of tequila myself. *grins at the thought*

Noelle: No! There will be *no* alcohol whatsoever right now!

Reno: Geez, you’re really serious about this, aren’t ya?

Noelle: Yes! Because unlike all of you, I *like* enacting the life functions!

Everyone: *mumble mumble okay fine…*

Noelle: Good. Now I think we should start with the crime scene and work our way back, ne?

Guys: okay…

Noelle: Good, let’s go.

(They walk into the bloody room and start looking around)

JT: Um, I hate to ask a stupid question, but… what are we looking for?

Noelle: Good question babe. We’re looking for anything that could be a clue as to who did this. Or even anything at all. At least then we can formulate some sort of idea as to what happened. Kay?

Reno: I think you’ve seen “Clue” way too many times…

Noelle: YUP! ^_^ Now get to work you lazy bums!

Barret: Yo, I don’t think I wanna work wit deez damn freak Shinra and they’re damn homocidal employees!

Rufus: Hey, I can buy and sell your ass!

Barret: Shit, no you can’t! You is trippin’, man!

Cid: !@#$%^&*()*%!!!!

Barret: yeah, thas right!

Red: *leash gets stuck on a loose piece of metal* Oh dear, I have seemed to get myself stuck. Can somebody please free me?

*Nobody looks up*

Red: oh my…

Barret: Yo, shu’up, grizzly!

Red: I am not a bear!

JT: I’ll help you. *reaches out to untie the leash*

Noelle: *grabs his arm to stop him* No, babe, leave the armadillo alone.

Red: Armadillo now? Excuse me, miss, but do I look like an armadillo to you?!

Noelle: Uh…yeah! ^_^

Barret: Now shu’up, Puffalump!

Red: Puffalump? That’s not even a real animal! That is a stuffed children’s toy!

Barret: Whatever, foo!

Rufus: Oh, hey, look, I found something!

Everyone: *rushes over*

Noelle: What is it?!?!?!?!?!?

Rufus: *holds up 10 gil* alright!

Noelle: Back to work, pretty-boy!

Rufus: oh… =(

(They don’t find anything, but just as they are about to leave…)

Noelle: *looks up and sees a tall scary-looking figure at the window* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys: WHAT, WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Noelle: *shakily points a finger* What the hell is that?

????: Hey hey, everybody, I’m the President of Esthar!!!

Noelle: *nervous sigh* Laguna!!! You scared us half to death!

Laguna: Hey hey, sorry about that!

Noelle: Ugh, follow me…

(They go back to the ramble room to drop Laguna off)

Noelle: I heard someone scream, what happened!

*Lark and Sephy come running in too*

Lark: What’s going on?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Noelle: *points to Laguna* He scared me half to death!

Lark: *sigh of relief* As long as nobody was hurt…Everyone’s okay, right?

Noelle: yeah, everyone’s fine!

Noelle: Speak for yourself! I have a bunch of losers on my hands! *shines the flashlight on Seifer’s pouty face, Zell stupidly punching the wall, Tseng and Reeve blushing after they’ve stopped making out, Squall trying unsuccessfully to feel Rinoa up in the dark, and Vincent standing there looking bored* I feel like a health class movie on the dangers of alcohol and sex!!!

Reno: Alcohol and sex?! Alright, I’m staying in here!

Noelle: *smacks him* Shut up!!!

Lark: I’m sorry!

Noelle: yeah, yeah, whatever.

Squall: Huh?

Laguna: Son!!!

Squall: Get away from me, dork!!

Sephiroth: I feel for ya man…

Noelle: Anyways, Noelle, I was wondering if you could take Laguna off my hands, he’s just gonna slow things down.

Laguna: Yeah, it’ll be so much fun in here! It’ll be totally groovy! We could tell ghost stories and make shadow puppets!

Squall: *shudders*

Noelle: No chance in hell! This isn’t a daycare center!… Plus, ya know, the shadow puppets were a flop…

Noelle: *annoyed sigh* Fine… Laguna, come with me, and don’t screw up!!!

Laguna: Hey hey, alright!

(So they go off once again and everyone returns to what they were doing.)

Lark: *back at the fusebox* Ya know, Sephy, we’re *really* not getting anything done!

Sephiroth: Do you mind?

Lark: no…

Sephiroth: me neither!

*they go back to making out*


Noelle: Well we didn’t find anything in the other room, so I guess we should look some more elsewhere…

Shell: Gee, aren’t *we* smart!

Noelle: Oh, sorry, forgot you were here, Shell! ^_^

Shell: yeah yeah, funny…

Noelle: I’m just kidding! ^_^

Rude: Can we get on with this please?

Noelle: Why? We got all the time in the world!

Rude: But weren’t you just saying-

Noelle: eh, forget that. As long as we don’t gotta be around Noelle and the adolescent brigade!

Cloud: *walks into a wall*

Noelle: Oh geez! Cloud! I didn’t know you were here!

Cloud: ???

Noelle: Oh damn… Reno, give Cloud some liquor!

Reno: I thought you said no liquor whatsoever. *victory smile*

Noelle: Stop being a smartass and give him some liquor! I know you have some!

Reno: Damn! *pulls out his flask*

Noelle: *takes it* Yeah, I know you too well…

Reno: damn…

Noelle: *pours the stuff down Cloud’s throat*

Cloud: *blinks twice* Good evening, everyone.

Noelle: Cloud, I didn’t know you were here!

Cloud: I was up here wandering around aimlessly until you gave me some scotch. Thank you very much.

Noelle: You’re welcome!

Cloud: Is there any way I can help you kind folks?

Barret: Man, you are trippin’…

Noelle: Actually, Cloud, we were looking for a psycho killer. Wanna help?

Cloud: If you’re looking for Sephiroth, he’s outside making out with Lark.

Everyone: *pales* *sweatdrops* What???

Cloud: Yes, right by the fusebox.

Noelle: I am going to pretend I did not hear that and we are going to go back to what we were doing. Okay?

All: Alright.

Noelle: Good. C’mon…

Laguna: *follows them out but walks into a wall* Ow!

Noelle: Baka…


(Vincent is looking around bored)

Vincent: *to Noelle* Noelle, this isn’t very interesting-

Noelle: I’m not doing the shadow puppets again! If you want a free show, go watch Tseng and Reeve going at it in the corner!

Vincent: *sweatdrop* Demo-

Noelle: Argh, I hate you all! *covers her ears and squeezes her eyes shut*

Vincent: *sigh* Very well… I shall go help Lark and the beautiful Sephiroth… *goes off to find the two*


Lark: *moans under Sephy*

????: *GASP!* Angel! My angel!

Sephiroth: *breaks away from lark* Nani?!

Vincent: *eyes tear up* *chin quivers* How could you *do* this to me?! *runs off crying*

Lark: OMG, Vincent! *slaps Sephiroth*

Sephiroth: *rubs his jaw as Lark chases after Vincent*

Vincent: *runs back into the ramble room sobbing*

Lark: Vincent, wait! *hugs him*

Vincent: How could you two?

Noelle: What happened?!

Vincent: I caught Lark and Sephiroth *kissing*!

Noelle: *rolls eyes* big surprise there!

Vincent: *cries harder*

Lark: Noelle!

Noelle: What?!

Lark: *rubs Vincent’s back* I didn’t mean it, Vincent, I’m sorry!

Vincent: *sigh* I cannot blame you, Lark, I always knew that someday my angel had to betray me… *depressed sigh*

(Before anyone can move, there is a knock at the door)

Noelle: *is followed by group. They’ve decided to return to the ramble room and report the finding of Cloud when the doorbell rings* I’ll get it! *opens the door* Nida!!! *happy smiles* *gives him hugs*

Everyone: *odd looks at Noelle*

Noelle: *lets go* Ahem, sorry.

Shell: Nida, what’re *you* doing here!

Nida: Hey watch it, missy, I drive the Garden!

Laguna: Hey hey, I’m the President of Esthar!

Nida: *mumble mumble show off*

Lark: Answer the question, Nida!

Nida: Fine! I was kicked out of the group by Hojo and that whore and the fat guy.

Noelle: Ick, why?

Nida: Cuz they had something going and they wouldn’t include me.

Lark: Now tell someone who *cares*!

Nida: Oh… =(

Lark: I guess you can stay for now, but we were kinda of dealing with a problem.

Nida: oh? What?

Noelle: There’s a psycho killer on the loose and he killed Gojo (thank god) and the lights are broken.

Lark: *Actually* I was talking about Vincent. He caught Sephy cheating on him with me.

Vincent: *starts crying again*

Reno: Aw, you made the queer cry!

Noelle: *smacks Reno*

JT: New problem!

Lark: Nani?

JT: *confused look* Huh?

Lark: What is it?

JT: um, I just went to look for Sephiroth-

Noelle: By *yourself*?! What’re you, nuts?

JT: um…no? Anyway, he’s not wherever you left him.

Lark: *pales* You mean he’s missing?

JT: Yes?

Lark: *AGAIN?!* *annoyed sigh* didn’t we just go through this?

JT: *shrug*

Noelle: Well where could he be? Not like I care.

Reeve: *breaks away from Tseng for a split second to say something and then Tseng pulls him back down* Maybe the killer got him-

Noelle, Reno, Irvine, Rufus, Barret, and Cid: *evil smiles of pleasure*

Lark:  *looks at them* Um… Stop it…Alright, new plan… Now we have *3* problems to solve! Oh boy, this is gonna be tough…

Red: But I have all the confidence in the world that we will get this resolved-

Barret: Yo, shut up, panda!

Red: *sigh* Oh my…

Cid: !@#$%^&**%#!@#$%^&**^%$@#$%!!!!

Lark: That’s a great idea, Cid!

Shell: What the hell did he say?

Lark: I’ll explain in a minute. Sit back down, everyone, new plan!!!

Everyone: *sweatdrops*

TBC… hee hee…

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