#40 – Follow That Seph! (part two)

Barret: “Yo! Kangaroo rat! I choose your punk ass!”

Originally Published: 10/13/00 . 30 pages

Synopsis
Sephiroth is still missing, and Lark is starting to lose hope. Will they ever see each other again?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

The best part of this ramble is Barrett’s line quoted above, which is a classic. Other than that, this ramble is pretty much as dry as the other ones. There are a few moments here and there, and the ending is okay, but as far as two part rambles go, this pair is pretty weak. I must admit I used to know that Team Rocket dialogue by heart – how embarrassing is that?

(if you will recall, shell’s group consisting of rude, quistis, selphie, zell, twilight and tifa and traveling through ff8 world is going to esthar…)

Shell: “Well…here we are…Esthar.” *frowns*

Rude: “…………..Shell?”

Shell: *whirls around* “Huh? Oh! Rude! You’ve been so quiet I forgot you were here!”

Tifa: “That’s because Twilight won’t let anyone else talk.”

Twilight: “Shut up, hoebag! You had fun during my sing along on the way here!”

Tifa: “You were the only one singing!”

Twilight: “And that’s bad because….?”

Tifa: “It’s bad cause you suck!”

Twilight: “I do not!”

Selphie: “Shut up, you two! You’re bringing down the happiness of the group!”

Zell: *punching air* “I’ll take him out, Selphie!”

Twilight: “Don’t waste my time.” *makes a sweeping gesture with his arm and zell flies back*

Zell: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!”

Twilight: “Take *that*!”

Quistis: *looking around frantically* “I need to steal something….”

Shell: “Let’s just ask someone if they’ve seen Sephiroth and get out of here.”

Zell: “Can we ride one of those lifts? They’re so cool!”

Shell: “….Yes. Yes we can.”

Zell: *fist in the air* “All right!”

Quistis: *points* “Look. There’s Dr. Odine. Why don’t we ask him, then hit the shopping area?”

Shell: “All right, but no shopping.”

Quistis: *garden snap* “Dammit!”

Selphie: “Yoo hoo! Doctor Odine!”

(dr. odine comes over)

Dr. Odine: “Vat do you vant?”

Twilight: “Ew! It’s some kind of vampire freak thing! Hurry! Who’s gotta a stake?!”

Zell: “It’s not a vampire, you idiot! It’s just Doctor Odine! That’s how he talks!”

Twilight: “What, like a weirdo?”

Tifa: *mutters* “He’s not the only one.”

Twilight: *in her face* “How many times have I told you to shut up, hoebag?!”

Tifa: *right back at him* “I don’t know, have you been keeping count?!”

Twilight: *still in her face* “Maybe I have!”

Shell: “Nonsense, Twilight. You can’t count!”

Twilight: “Hey! Shut up! She doesn’t know that!”

Doctor Odine: “Vat? I am wasting my time, I think.”

Selphie: “No, no, Doctor Odine! You see, we’re looking for someone.”

Doctor Odine: “If you are looking for thee President, he thankfully is not here.”

Shell: “No, no. Not Laguna. We’re looking for a tall guy with silver hair in all black.”

Doctor Odine: “Hmm….. I’m sorry, but I think I have not seen the person you describe.”

Selphie: “Oh poop!”

Doctor Odine: “I must be off now to find a specimen for my new experiment.” *pause* “Any of you vish to volunteer?”

Everyone else: *looks nervous* *sweat drops*

Doctor Odine: “I sense there is no one villing.” *he goes off*

Twilight: “……..What’s with the clown collar?”

(silence)

Zell: “….So….uh….how about that lift?”

Shell: “Yeah!”

(they all start running towards the lift)

Selphie: “Wheee!! Let’s go look in Deling City next!”

Quistis: “Well…can we go to the shopping mall first?”

Shell: “NO!”

Rude: *sigh*


(meanwhile…..Ashley and her gang, going on zech’s advice, head to the sanq kingdom…)

Duo: “Ugh! Good thing Heero didn’t come! He HATES Relena!”

Ashley: “Who *doesn’t*?”

Quatre: “Now, now. Let’s be nice.”

Yuffie: “Will *she* have any materia?”

Bria: *sighs* “Yuffie…..you’re really getting ass lancing.”

Rinoa: “I’m glad someone said it.”

Ashley: *knocks on the door* “If you think Yuffie’s ass lancing, wait till you girls meet Relena.”

Yuffie: “Hey!”

(the door opens and there’s a 15 year old girl with a pair of scissors and a picture in her hand. she’s frowning)

Duo: “Hey there, good lookin’!”

Relena: *smiles* “Oh! Hello, Duo!” *looks around* “Is Heero with you?”

Ashley: *grimacing* “No.”

Relena: *frowns* “Oh.” *steps back* “Well come in.” *looks around some more* “Lark isn’t with you, is she?”

Duo: “No.”

Relena: “Good.”

(they all go inside, on the way, quatre passes duo a wad of bills)

Quatre: “I didn’t really think you’d do it!”

Duo: *grins* “Hey! Now I can buy a new hat!”

(they pass through the hallways which are filled with pictures of heero cut into hearts. everyone looks kind of scared)

Rinoa: “Geez…and they say I’m obsessed with Squall!”

Yuffie: “And they say I’m obsessed with materia!Β  At least I don’t hang it on my walls!!”

Relena: “I was just making another Heero college.” *dreamy sigh* “Heero…”

Ashley: *grimaces* “Right……… Anyway, we’re looking for someone and–“

Quatre: “Zechs wants his shampoo back.”

Relena: “You came all the way here to tell me that?”

Ashley: “Yeah, that, and we were wondering if you’ve seen our friend…”

Relena: “Tell him to buy his own and to stop being so cheap!”

Ashley: “Yeah, we will. Now about our friend–“

Relena: “Tell Heero I say hello and that I love him lots and lots, okay?”

Ashley: “Over my dead body! Anyway, about what we came here for—“

Relena: “Want to see the picture of my father? I think it’s behind one of my Heero shrines…”

Ashley: “RELENA! FOR THE LOVE OF G-D! SHUT UP!”

Relena: *blinks* “Oh goodness.”

Duo: “We’re looking for this guy. He’s tall…has really long hair–“

Relena: “Didn’t you just see Zechs?”

Ashley: “No! Not Zechs! This guy has long *silver* hair, wears all black and has a really long sword.”

Relena: *cocks head to one side* “Are you talking about a Gundam?”

Everyone else: *jaw drops*

Yuffie: “She’s as dumb as a post!”

Relena: “Huh?”

Bria: “Um…I think we’re wasting our time here.”

Duo: “Yeah….”

Ashley: “Let’s get out of here.”

Relena: *frowns* “Oh….won’t you stay for some tea?”

Ashley: “NO!”

(back outside the mansion…)

Bria: “This kind of stinks…”

Yuffie: “Oh crap! I forgot to ask about materia!”

Duo: *examining the end of his braid* “Did Relena snip a piece of my hair?”

Ashley: “I’ll kill the b*tch!”

Rinoa: “Whoa! Ashley! Calm down! He’s got lots more hair where that came from!”

Ashley: “You stay out of this, crack whore!”

Quatre: “Um…listen, guys. Maybe we should try looking for Sephiroth somewhere else now.”

Ashley: “Like where? And if you say the St. Edwards base I’ll have to kill you.”

Quatre: “Actually, I was going to suggest the circus. Trowa’s working today!” *smiles*

Yuffie: “The circus?!”

Ashley: “Sephiroth wouldn’t be caught *dead* at the circus!” *pauses then shrugs* “Let’s go.”


(meanwhile…Lizzie and her gang of weirdos arrives at the crappy little mall in our hometown. even though this mall really blows, everyone always seems to go there anyway…)

Elena: “Hm…where would I buy hair gel if I was a homicidal maniac?”

Katie: “Boy! The mall sure is crowded!”

Lizzie: “Isn’t it always?”

Laguna: *puts an arm around squall* “Do you want a toy, Squall? ‘Cause if you’re good, daddy will buy you one.”

Squall: *pushing him away* “You’re not allowed to talk!”

Kiros: “Ward says damn straight!”

Ward: *sigh*

Elena: “Where should we start?”

Katie: “Ooh! Suncoast!”

Lizzie: “I don’t think Sephiroth would be buying videos.”

Katie: *hangs head* “Ooh….” *thinks* “Maybe he went to the Gap!”

Lizzie: *gives her a knowing look*

Katie: “…Or maybe not…”

Squall: “The Disney Store?”

(everyone turns to stare in shock at squall)

Squall: *blinks* “What?” *pause* “It was a joke.” *pause* “What? I can’t make a joke?”

Laguna: *grins and punches him playfully in the arm* “That’s my boy!”

Squall: *grabbing his arm away* “Stop it!”

Kiros: “Ward wants to know if he can buy a gun to kill Laguna.”

Ward: “……………..!” *hits kiros*

Lizzie: “No one’s killing anyone! Especially not my Laguna!” *hugs laguna*

Laguna: “Hey hey! Thanks!”

Lizzie: *thinks* Oh yeah…. I almost forgot I swore revenge on Kiros…. I should probably follow through with that…

Laguna: “Whatcha thinking about?”

Lizzie: *smiles sweetly* “Nothing….”

Elena: “We’re wasting time….”

Katie: “Let’s just walk around.”

Elena: “I’ll keep my eyes open.”

(they start walking)

Laguna: *pointing to the toy store* “Come on, Squall! Last chance!”

Squall: “Leave me alone!”

Katie: “There he is!”

(everyone stops dead)

Katie: *laughs* “Oh no, wait! That’s just the mannequin at the Gap! They’re still doing that all leather promotion.”

Elena: *annoyed sigh* “Well maybe you should have thought before you said anything. I don’t think *Sephiroth* would be standing in the window at the GAP!”

Katie: “Well sorry! Excuse me for being human!”

(some shoppers have stopped to watch)

Lizzie: *quietly* “Um…guys….you’re kind of attracting attention…”

Laguna: *stepping in front of the shoppers* “Hey hey! Nothing to see here, folks! Unless you’re here to see me, the President of Esthar!” *grins*

Squall: *hand to his head* “Shoot him. Someone. Please.”

Kiros: “I would, but I can’t get my hands on a damn gun!” *claps a hand over his mouth* “Oops…Ward said that.” *points to ward*

Lizzie: *sighs* “I can’t wait to get this over with….”


(meanwhile…Noelle and her group are not so happily entering the world of pokemon…)

Noelle: “Whatever his name is better keep that….whatever he walks around with away from me.”

Cloud: “You mean Ash and Pikachu?”

Noelle: *disgusted look* “Yeah. Whatever.”

(everyone looks around.)

Reno: “I don’t see anything…..”

??????: *female voice* “Prepare for trouble…”

??????: *gay sounding male voice* “Make it double.”

??????: *female voice* “To protect the world from devastation!”

??????: *gay sounding male voice* “To unite all people within our nation.”

??????: *female voice* “To denounce the evils of truth and love!”

??????: *gay sounding male voice* “To extend our reach to the stars above!”

??????: *female voice* “Jessie…”

??????: *gay sounding male voice* “James….”

Jessie: “Team Rocket is blasting off at the speed of light!”

James: “Surrender now or prepared to fight!”

Meowth: *cat looking thing* “Meowth! That’s right!”

FF people: *blink*

Barret: “Yo! What kinda ghetto crap was that?!”

Cloud: *spazzing out* “Ugh! The rhyming!”

Reno: “Man…. That was baaaaaaaaaaaaaad.”

James: “You have a very rare Pokemon.”

Jessie: “We’re going to steal it now.”

Noelle: “We don’t have any pokemon!”

Jessie: “Sure you do! What do you call that?” *points to red*

Red: *blinks* “Excuse me?”

Reno: “So that’s what you are!”

Red: “I am not!”

Barret: “Listen, foo! That ain’t no Pokemon! That there’s a full blood tribble!”

Red: *nods* “Yes…I’m…I’m….whatever he said!”

Cid: “@#%^!^@#$^@#^!!”

Barret: “Yo! Even Cid agrees!”

Jessie: “You’re liars! Prepare for battle!”

?????: “Not so fast, Team Rocket!”

Team Rocket: *look up* “Huh?”

(up on the hill is brock, ash, with pikachu on his shoulder, and misty, looking not too happy)

James: “It’s that kid!”

Ash: “You leave those people alone!”

Pikachu: “Pi-ka-chu!”

Reno: “Oh no! Don’t tell me we’re gonna get our asses saved by those kids!”

Jessie: “We won’t let you mess us up again!”

Ash: “Pikachu! Thundershock!”

Pikachu: *electrifying* “PI-KA-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!” *sends out blots of thunder blots*

Team Rocket: *rubbing their butts as they run away* “Team Rocket’s blasting off again!”

(the ff group watches in shock)

Reno: “Wow… They really suck!”

Ash: “So, are you Pokemon trainers?”

Noelle: “No, we’re–“

Barret: “Yeah! I’m the best damn Pokemon trainer around!”

Ash: “No way! I am! I bet I can beat you in a match!”

Barret: “Yo! You’re on, punk!”

Noelle: *whispers urgently* “But, Barret….you don’t *have* any Pokemon…”

Barret: “Sure I do! I gots womprat right here!” *points to red*

Red: *sighs* “I give up.”

Brock: “Be careful, Ash.”

Misty: “You can do it, Ash!”

Ash: “Squirtle! I choose you!” *throws his pokeball but psyduck comes out* “Oh no! Not Psyduck!”

Psyduck: “Psyduck.”

Barret: “Yo! Kangaroo rat! I choose your punk ass!”

Red: “I refuse to move.”

Cloud: “This is quite a dilemma.”

Reno: *laughs* “But it’s funny as hell!!”

Barret: *trying to push red forward* “Come on, little red hen! Kick it’s sorry little punk duck ass!”

Red: “Absolutely not.”

Ash: “Come on, Psyduck! Do something!”

Psyduck: *does nothing* “Psyduck.”

Brock: “I think you better forget about this match, Ash. Psyduck doesn’t look like he wants to do anything.”

Ash: *holds out pokeball* “Psyduck! Return!”

(psyduck goes back in pokeball and the two groups stare at one another for a moment)

Ash: “I’m Ash and I wanna be the world’s best Pokemon trainer!”

Noelle: “I don’t give a flying rat’s ass, jerk. I only came here cause Lark likes your stupid little show and we’re looking for a friend of ours.”

Brock: *eyes widen* “Wow! Lark! Really? Does she talk about me a lot?”

Ash: “A friend of yours? It isn’t Gary, is it? Cause I’m a better Pokemon trainer than he’ll ever be!”

Noelle: “No….his name is Sephiroth….”

Brock: “Does Lark talk about how much she likes me?

Ash: “Sephiroth?”

Noelle: “Yeah, tall guy, wears all black, likes to talk about the planet…”

Brock: “Cause I really like her! She’s really hot! I bet she talks about me a lot!”

Ash: *thinks* “I haven’t seen him. Have you, Pikachu?”

Pikachu: *shakes his head* “Pi-ka-chu.”

Barret: “Yo! How can you understand that thing?! All it says is it’s own damn name!”

Cid: “$!@%!^!^&$#&#*#&#^#^%!!”

Barret: “Damn straight, yo!”

Brock: “So, really, does she talk about me a lot? You can tell me! Please?”

Reno: *backing away* “Shut up! I’ve never heard her mention you once!”

Brock: *face falls* “Oh man…. Typical.”

Noelle: “Great. We came all the way to freakville for nothing.”

Reno: “Let’s get the hell outta here.”

(suddenly they hear evil laughter coming from the sky)

Misty: *sighs* “Not again…”

Jessie: “Prepare for trouble…”

Cloud: “Oh no. Not again.”

FF characters: “RUN!!!”

Noelle: “Looks like it’s onto Star Wars land for us!”

Cloud: “If I hear any more rhyming, I think I’ll kill something.”


(if you’ll recall, lark’s team has gone to the northern crater in search of sephiroth. they are about to enter…when reeve stops suddenly)

Tseng: “What’s wrong, Reeve?”

Reeve: “I just realized something….”

Tseng: *sweat drops* “Look, I don’t know what Reno told you, but I’m not in love with you, okay?!”

Reeve: *confused look* “What?”

Tseng: *more sweat drops* “Um…nothing. What were you saying?”

Reeve: “It’s just that… We’re going into the crater….”

Rufus: *hand to his head* “What a genius! Boy, my father was a wizard for hiring you!”

Reeve: “I’m not finished!” *clears throat* “What I was going to say is that the crater is pretty dangerous and you all have some sort of weapon or can cast magic. I don’t and can’t.”

Rufus: “Well then…. Sucks to be you!”

Lark: “Rufus!”

Rufus: “Sorry…”

Irvine: “What, do you wanna stay outside or somethin’?”

JT: “Don’t you have anything that can be *used* as a weapon? Like a pocketknife or something?”

Reeve: *goes through his pockets* “Um…. I have this…” *takes out a paper clip*

Rufus: *sarcastically* “Ooh! That’ll stop anything!”

Irvine: “You’re really mean, Rufus.”

Rufus: “Someone has to make fun of him!” *irvine just blinks* “Oh come on!” *says desperately and gestures to reeve* “It’s a stupid paper clip!”

Vincent: “It doesn’t matter.”

Rufus: “Huh?”

Vincent: “We don’t need to go into the crater.”

JT: “Um….care to tell us *why*?”

Vincent: “He’s not in there.”

Tseng: “How do you know?”

Vincent: “I just do.”

(silence)

Tseng: “Okay…. Well, I’m not one to argue with that.”

Reeve: “Me neither. Let’s go.”

Lark: *sad sigh* “Where *is* he?”

Irvine: “Maybe one of the other groups found him, Lark.”

Reeve: “Yeah…”

Lark: *shakes her head* “No… No… I don’t think they did…”

Vincent: “Where do you propose we go next?”

Lark: *sighs* “I don’t know…. How about we just fly around in the Highwind for awhile?”

Rufus: “All right.”

(they all somberly return to the highwind)


(shell’s team arrives in deling city)

Zell: “Boy, those lifts in Esthar were fun!”

Twilight: “Would you shut up about the freakin’ lifts already?! That’s all I heard about all the way here!”

Zell: “Well it was more exciting than your stupid stories of burning villages!”

Twilight: “For your information other audiences have enjoyed those stories.”

Zell: “Like who?”

Twilight: *grins* “My reflection.” *laughs*

Zell: *sighs* “I shouldn’t have asked.”

Rude: “Where to now?”

Shell: *shrugs* “I don’t know. Any suggestions?”

Selphie: “Why don’t we go ask Rinoa’s daddy?”

Zell: *snorts* “You mean General Crankaway? No thanks!”

Shell: “Who else do you know in Deling City?”

Quistis: “No one. I hate this city. Let’s just go shopping.”

Shell: “No! We have a job to do!”

Rude: “That’s right.”

Shell: “See! Rude’s on task!”

Zell: “Can we ride on the buses?”

Twilight: *hits himself in the forehead* “Oh for the love of….”

Tifa: *sighs* “I can’t wait till this is all over and I never have to see you again.”

Twilight: “That’s what you think, hoebag! Just for that I’m gonna make sure you see a *whole* lot of me.”

Tifa: *groans* “I brought this upon myself.”

Shell: “Let me ask someone….” *goes over to an old lady on a bench* “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Old Lady: *sweetly* “Are you challenging me to cards?”

Shell: “No….”

Old Lady: *snaps* “Then get lost, missy. You’ll ruin my winning streak.”

Shell: *backs away* “Okay….” *looks around* “I’ll ask that girl.” *clears throat* “Excuse me!”

Girl: “I can’t talk! I have to mail this love letter to Lord Seifer!” *hurries off*

Shell: *blinks* “Okay……….”

Tifa: “People here sure are nasty!”

Zell: “Eh, this is nothing compared to Fisherman’s Horizon.”

Shell: *deep sigh* “Okay. I’ve had it. Everyone….look right.”

(everyone does)

Shell: “Look left.”

(everyone does)

Shell: “Do you see Sephiroth?”

Everyone: “No.”

Shell: “That’s it. We’re goin’ back to the ramble room.”


(meanwhile….Ashley’s at the circus with her group…)

Bria: “Um…isn’t Sephiroth afraid of clowns?”

Ashley: “Yes.”

Rinoa: “Then why would he be at the circus?”

Ashley: “Shut up, crack whore!”

Quatre: *waves* “Trowa! It’s me, Trowa!”

(trowa looks up from where he’s standing with some brunette in a bra top)

Trowa: “Quatre? What are you doing here?”

Ashley: “Hi, Trowa.”

Trowa: “Ashley? Duo?” *looks at the other people with them* “Who are you?”

Duo: “Never mind, Trowa.”

Trowa: *indicating to the girl in the bra top* “You guys know Catherine, right?”

Duo: “Yes….”

Catherine: *winks* “Hi there.” *bends over*

Duo: *shields eyes* “Oh god!”

Trowa: *whispers* “Quiet, Duo. She has to dress that way to keep the Manager happy.”

Duo: *shudders* “You have some perverted manager!”

Trowa: “You don’t know the half of it.” *sighs* “So, what brings you here?”

Ashley: “You know Sephiroth?”

Trowa: “No.” *Ashley smacks him upside the head* “Yes.”

Ashley: “We’re looking for him. Have you seen him?”

Trowa: *thinks* “No.” *Ashley hits up upside the head again* “Still no.”

Duo: “Dammit. Then he really *hasn’t* seen him.”

Trowa: “Sorry.”

Catherine: *speaking slowly as usual* “Trowa…. You better feed the lions before the Manager gets mad and punishes you again.”

Trowa: *pales* “I must be going. I hope you find him.”

(trowa and catherine leave)

Yuffie: “Damn! I forgot to ask them about materia here too!”

Bria: “Oh for the love of—no one here *has* any materia, Yuffie!”

Rinoa: “This was a waste of time.”

Ashley: “Shut up, crack whore.”

Quatre: “Wanna stay and watch the circus? There are only five other people in the audience. It will make Trowa feel better if we stay.”

Ashley: “I’d like to, but we’d better get back to the ramble room. You and Duo stay though.”

Quatre: “Okay. I hope you find Sephiroth.”

Duo: *kisses Ashley* “Bye, babe.”

(they walk away)

Seifer: *mutters* “I don’t like Duo…”

Bria: “This was a loss.”

Rinoa: “I hope one of the other groups found Sephiroth.”

Yuffie: “I just hope they found some materia!”

Ashley: “Oh good g-d.”


(Lizzie’s group has resumed walking around the mall)

Elena: *sighs* “We haven’t seen anyone or anything that looks remotely like Sephiroth since Katie mistook him for that Darth Vader cardboard stand up awhile back.”

Katie: “Shut up! It really looked like him, okay!”

(squall is playing tetris on gameboy)

Laguna: “Aren’t you glad daddy bought that for you, Squall?”

Squall: *eyes glued to the screen* “Beats listening to you jerks.”

Laguna: “That’s the spirit!”

Lizzie: “Have you guys realized we’ve circled this mall three times, both upstairs and downstairs?”

Elena: “Yeah….”

Kiros: “Yeah. And nowhere to buy a gun.”

Laguna: “Why do you want to buy a gun, Kiros?”

Kiros: “I don’t want it. Ward does.”

Ward: “………………..!” *hits kiros*

Laguna: *scratches the back of his head* “I have a gun.”

Kiros: “Yeah, so what? You want a prize?”

Laguna: “Um….no….”

Elena: “What kind of gift should I get for Tseng?”

Lizzie: “I don’t think they sell gay porn at this mall.”

Elena: *chin quivers* “Shut up!” *runs off crying*

Lizzie: *shrugs* “Some people just can’t take the truth.”

Squall: “Aw, come on, dammit! Give me a freakin’ line!”

Laguna: “See, Squall, the object is to not rely on the lines too much. It’s a strategy game.”

Squall: “Aw! You made me lose!”

Laguna: “Well Squall, a wise man once said we always learn from our mistakes.”

Squall: “Whatever….”

(elena returns, wiping tears from her eyes)

Elena: *sniff* “I have recovered.” *sniff*

Katie: “Ooh! There he is!” *points*

(everyone looks)

Lizzie: “Where?”

Katie: *laughs* “Made ya look!”

Lizzie: *frowns* “Not funny.”

Katie: “Sorry. But someone had to do it.”

Lizzie: *sighs* “I say we get the hell out of here. I hate this town, and Sephiroth’s not here.”

Elena: “Fine.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Sounds good!”

Katie: “Ooh….. But I didn’t get to go shopping!”

Kiros: “And I–er…I mean Ward didn’t get his gun!”

Squall: *shaking the game boy*Β  “G-d damn squares!”

Lizzie: *sweat drops* “Oh boy…”


(okay, I’m going to give you some background before you read this section. here are some more of my star wars characters! (actually xander is my sisters) some quick info: edon, yov, commander curad, jennings, derek, kiel (pronounced keel), and xander are the guys and aurora, laylan and lark are the girls. edon is lark’s brother…he’s on the dark side of the force, so they don’t get along. yov is obsessed with lark, and derek, jennings and kiel like her too. commander curad works for edon, and edon is really stupid, so he’s always making fun of him. yov and curad do *not* get along. kiel is aurora’s brother, and xander is her lover, but they’re not exclusive. aurora and jennings are really good friends. and laylan is a drunk, she loves twilight and hates opal. lark really loves yov, but would never admit it. kiel, aurora, jennings, derek, xander and yov are all really rich, and kiel loves to go yachting. xander flirts like crazy. phew! okay, so Noelle’s group goes into one of lark’s star wars novels a little hesitantly)

Reno: “Wait… So, let me get this straight. Twilight and Opal come from this place, right?”

Noelle: “Right.”

Reno: “So all these people are like Twilight and Opal?”

Noelle: “I hope they’re more like Opal than Twilight!”

(a group of people approaches Noelle’s group, led by opal. opal’s group consists of 7 guys–all but one is drop dead gorgeous, and 3 other girls besides herself, who are also really gorgeous)

Opal: “Hiya, guys! What are you doing here?”

Noelle: *staring at the guys drools* “Uh……”

Reno: *staring at the girls* “Oh man….” *drool*

Opal: *giggles* “Oh! I forgot! You don’t know these people! I’ll introduce you. Noelle, Reno, Barret, Cid, Cloud and Red, meet Edon, Yov, Commander Curad, Jennings, Derek, Kiel, Xander, Laylan, Aurora and Lark.”

Barret: “Lark? Yo! That ain’t Lark!”

*Lark: “I’m the *real* Lark. She just stole my name because she likes it.”

Aurora: “I don’t know why she stole *your* name when she could have had mine.” *flips hair over her shoulder* “You’re just a stupid whore.”

*Lark: “You’re more of a whore than I am!”

Jennings: “All right, ladies. Let’s not start this. We have guests.”

Xander: *grins at Noelle* “Hey there…. You doing anything later?”

Noelle: *drool* “No….”

Aurora: “Xander…. Can you keep it down for five minutes?”

Yov: *mutters* “Obviously not.”

Curad: “Like you’re one to talk.”

Yov:Β  “Shut up!” *whines* “Edon! Your stupid commander is making fun of me again!”

Edon: “Watch me care!”

Laylan: *taking a sip from her flask* “What are all you people doing here?”

Reno: “Hey! I have a flask just like that!”

Laylan: *looks reno up and down* “You’re not bad. If I can’t have Twily, I’ll take you.”

Reno: “Oh, hell yes!”

Opal: “Twilight’s mine, Laylan!”

Laylan: *mutters* “For now…”

Derek: “Ugh! What the hell is that?!” *points to red*

Barret: “This here is a genuine….” *studies red* “raccoon.”

Red: *rolls his eyes and says sarcastically* “Yeah… That’s what I am!”

Kiel: *checks his watch* “I’m supposed to go yachting in half an hour.”

Aurora: “Again? You were just yachting an hour ago!”

Kiel: “Yeah, but I’m going out on a different yacht this time.” *smiles and nudges lark* “Wanna join me?”

*Lark: “Well–“

Yov: “She’d rather stay here with me!” *grins* “Right, Lark?”

*Lark: “No.”

Yov: *frowns* “Oh….”

Curad: “Ha ha! You suck!”

Yov: “She hates you too!”

Curad: “Shut up!”

Opal: “Anyway, what brings you here?”

Noelle: *is not paying attention and is giggling while xander kisses her hand*

Reno: *is not paying attention and is flirting shamelessly with laylan*

Barret: *is too busy making up information about red to tell derek*

Red: *is trying to block out everything around him*

Cid: *is half asleep*

Cloud: *has sobered up*

Opal: “Um….guys?”

Aurora: “I think they’re a bit distracted right now.”

Edon: *comes over to aurora grinning* “So, Aurora…. You busy tonight?”

Aurora: “Exceedingly.”

Edon: “Again?”

Aurora: “Business comes first, Edon.”

Edon: *sigh* “Come on! Curad’s lousy company! It’s an emergency!”

Curad: “Well *excuse* me!”

*Lark: “Well Edon, what do you expect from someone who’s a whore for a living?”

Aurora: “I am not! I just….have certain ways of getting what I want.” *smiles*

Jennings: “Hey, Aurora, your boyfriend is making out with that other girl.” *points to Noelle making out with xander*

Aurora: *shrugs* “He’s not really my boyfriend.”

Kiel: “And looks like Laylan’s taken a liking to that red head guy.” *points to reno making out with laylan*

Opal: *mutters* “That’s his problem if he wants to catch her diseases.”

Cloud: *wandering around aimlessly bangs into a wall* “Ow…” *rubs his forehead*

Edon: *points and laughs at him* “Ha ha! That guy’s just like you, Curad!”

Curad: “Yeah. Thanks. It was *your* fault I was stupid. You sucked my intelligence out using the Force!”

*Lark: *mutters* “Didn’t make him any smarter though.”

Barret: “Yo, so this here raccoon can fight, yo! And it fights good!”

Derek: *poking red with a stick* “It certainly doesn’t look like it can.”

Barret: “Yo! It can, bro!” *pokes cid* “Right, Cid?”

Cid: *half asleep* “#%^^@&*&^#%^#$%^#$^….”

Derek: *blinks* “Um… Did your friend just say what I *think* he said?”

Barret: “Nah, that ain’t nothin’ compared to what he *usually* says!”

Opal: *kneels down so she’s eye to eye with red* “Will you please tell me why you’re here?”

Red: “We are on a search for Sephiroth. Have you seen him?”

Opal: *shakes head* “No… I’m sorry, Red, but I haven’t.”

Red: *sigh* “It’s quite all right. I think I will be returning to the ramble room now.”

Opal: *pets him* “You sure? You’re welcome to stay!”

Red: “That is most kind of you, but I need to get away from these people.”

Opal: *looks back at Noelle and reno both making out with different people, barret deep in conversation, cid half asleep and cloud bumping into walls* “Yeah… I think they’re gonna be here for awhile.”

Red: “I feel sorry for you.”


(meanwhile…lark’s group is circling around on the highwind. lark is sitting alone, chin resting sadly in her hand as she looks out the window. JT comes and sits next to her)

JT: “Hi, Lark.”

Lark: *still looking out the window* “Hi.”

JT: “Um… I’ve been thinking…”

Lark: “About what?”

JT: “About where he might have gone…”

Lark: *looks at him* “Oh?”

JT: “Well, what is the most obvious place? A place where he would probably never go because of the memories it holds for everyone, especially him.”

Lark: *look of realization comes over her face* “Oh my g-d of course. The basement of the Shinra Mansion.”

JT: *nods* “Yes.”

Lark: *smiles a little* “I love you, JT.”

JT: “I love you too.”

Lark: *calls* “Rufus! We’re going to Nibelheim!”

Vincent: “Oh dear…..”


(the group arrives at nibelheim and stands outside the mansion)

Vincent: “I can’t go in there. The memories…”

Lark: “It’s all right. I want to go in alone anyway.”

Rufus: “But there are a lot of monsters in there!”

Irvine: “Are you sure?”

Lark: “Yeah. I’ll be fine. I want to confront him about this myself… If he is in here, of course.”

Tseng: “I think he is…”

Vincent: “As do I.”

JT: “Me too.”

Reeve: “Good luck, Lark.”

Lark: “Thanks, Reeve.”

(lark walks calmly into the mansion, but once the door shuts she runs up the stairs and gets through the secret passage as fast as she can. then she runs down the hallway and arrives in the library, panting. she looks around but he’s not in the first room, so she goes into the other room. ah! finally! there he is! sephiroth’s sitting on the floor in the corner, leafing through a book and looking very unhappy. when lark comes in he looks up in surprise and they lock eyes, not saying anything for a moment.)

Sephiroth: *whispers* “Lark?”

Lark: *in disbelief* “Sephiroth?” *she grins and happily yells* “SEPHIROTH!!!” *she runs over to him*

(sephiroth’s eyes widen as she comes running at him and leaps onto him, pinning him to the ground)

Lark: “Sephiroth! I found you! I’m so happy!” *hugs him tight*

Sephiroth: *murmurs* “I like this position…” *pause* “Wait… No I don’t…” *sweat drops*

Lark: *gets up a little so she’s sitting on his stomach* “Sephiroth! You baka! Why did you leave like that?! I was so upset, all I wanted to do was cry!”

Sephiroth: *breathing heavily he looks up in surprise* “Oh? Why’s that?”

Lark: *leans over to they’re face to face and she brushes the hair away from his face* “Because… Sephy… I care about you… A lot…”

Sephiroth: *runs his fingers through her hair* “Lark…”

Lark: “So why? Why did you leave? Why did you come here to depress yourself with all this bad stuff?”

Sephiroth: *shakes his head* “I can’t even explain it.” *sighs*

Lark: *frowns* “I just think you don’t wanna talk about it.”

Sephiroth: “Maybe I don’t.”

Lark: *still frowning she gets to her feet* “Now that I’ve sent out a huge search party and have finally found you, I hope you’ll come back.”

Sephiroth: “If you want me to.” *gets up*

Lark: “I *need* you too.” *looks at him*

Sephiroth: *meets her eyes* “Then I will.”

Lark: *tears in her eyes* “Don’t ever leave again!” *runs and hugs him tight, crying into him*

Sephiroth: *closes his eyes and holds her tight and mouths* “I love you, Lark.”

~OWARI~
(the end)

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