#39 – Follow That Seph! (part one)

Twilight: “Why the hell are we going to a stupid garden? What, do the carrots have some good info?”

Originally Published: 10/11/00 . 37 pages

When Vincent discovers Sephiroth is gone, Lark is determined to find him. Will they succeed?

Ramble Milestones
-Technically Edgar’s and Locke’s first appearance.

I guess it was interesting at the time to see the characters out of their element, but overall this ramble doesn’t have much humor, aside from a few moments here and there, mostly involving Rufus, Treize, Quatre and Laguna. When I wrote this ramble I chose characters from FF6 and Fushigi Yugi that I liked and that I thought I could portray easily. Little did I know I’d be included Edgar and Locke in the rambles for good much later on, and while various characters from Fushigi Yugi have had cameos over the course of the rambles, these particular characters were never seen again. The title of this ramble comes from the title of the Sesame Street movie “Follow That Bird”.

(picking up *right* where we left off…lark just found out seph is gone…)

Lark: *blinks in shock* “What do you mean he’s gone?”

Vincent: “I’ve looked everywhere. Even in that tree outside. My angel is nowhere to be found.” *frowns*

Lark: “I don’t get it! Why would he leave?”

Vincent: “What’s this?” *picks a piece of paper off the couch*

Lark: “Is it from Sephiroth? What does it say?”

Vincent: *scans it* “It is. He wrote: Dear Lark and everyone else who actually cares. I’ve left the ramble room for good. I just can’t stay any more. Go ahead and celebrate. Signed, Sephiroth.”

Lark: *eyes tear up* “No! He can’t just leave! Why can’t he stay?!”

Vincent: “I don’t know.”

Lark: “Vincent, this calls for an emergency meeting. Call everyone in here at once.” *determined* “We have to find Sephiroth.”

(later….everyone is packed into the ramble room…..confused…)

Barret: “Yo! Why’s we here, woman?!”

Cid: “@#%@!”

Reno: *yawns* “Why did we have to get up so early?”

Twilight: “It’s 10 A.M. It’s not early.”

Reno: “It is when you’re hungover.”

Rinoa: “I hope nothing bad happened.”

Squall: “Can I *please* feed Angelo?”

Rinoa: “For the 100th time—NO!”

Lark: *clears her throat and speaks with a sad, quiet voice* “Can I have everyone’s attention please?”

(the room instantly quiets and they all look at her in confusion)

Selphie: “What’s wrong, Lark? You’re not happy!”

Irvine: “Yeah! What’s up, babe?”

Zell: “Yo! And where’s ‘Roth?”

Lark: “……..That’s just it. Sephiroth has left and he’s not coming back.”

A majority: “Oh yeah!/All right!/Finally!/Party time!”

The minority: “What?!/Why?!”

Lark: *yells* “QUIET!” *everyone shuts up* “Now, I know a lot of you don’t like Sephiroth and are happy to see him go. But I don’t care. Our mission, whether you like it or not, is to find Sephiroth and bring him back.”

Seifer: “Do we *really* have to?”

Lark: “Yes. Anyone who doesn’t want to can go join Hojo’s gang.” *no one moves* “That’s what I thought. Now, I’ve split us into 5 groups, each headed by one of us ramble girls. Each group will have a different place to search. Group one is my group. Me, Vincent, Tseng, Rufus, Irvine, Reeve and JT will search the world of FF7.”

Rufus: “That’ll be easy! I own it!”

Lark: “Shell and her group members, Rude, Quistis, Selphie, Zell, Twilight and Tifa will be searching the FF8 world.”

Zell: “All right! Let’s rock and roll!”

Twilight: “Can I change groups?”

Lark: “No. Ashley, you, Seifer, Yuffie, Rinoa and Bria are going to the Gundam Wing universe. I know it’s a long shot, but you never know.”

Ashley: “Gotcha. I’ll get Duo and some of the pilots to help too!”

Lark: “Lizzie, you, Laguna, Kiros, Ward, Katie, Squall and Elena are going back to the…” *grimace* “real world to look for him.”

Katie: “Don’t worry! We’ll find Sephy!!”

Squall: *mutters* “Why aren’t I with Rinoa?”

Lark: “Noelle….you, Reno, Cid, Red, Barret and Cloud are to search everywhere else he could have possibly went.”

Reno: *raises hand* “Can we bring some booze for the journey?”

Lark: “I won’t bother saying no, because I know you will anyway.”

Reno: “Damn straight!”

Lark: *very serious* “Listen, you guys. It’s really important we find him, okay? Please?”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Don’t worry about it!”

Elena: “Yeah! We won’t let you down!”

Zell: “We’ll find ‘Roth before ya know it!”

Lark: *small smile* “Thanks, guys.”

(everyone runs out except those in lark’s group. lark doesn’t move, she simply stands where she is, hanging her head)

Reeve: “….Lark?”

Lark: *starts crying*

Rufus: “Look what you did, Reeve!” *goes to comfort lark*

Reeve: “I didn’t mean it!”

Tseng: *wipes a tear from his eye* “This is sad….”

Reeve: “Don’t you start too!”

Tseng: “You know I’m emotional!” *starts crying*

Reeve: *sighs* “Sorry, Tseng.” *hugs him*

JT: *trying to comfort lark* “It’ll be okay, Lark. We’ll find him.”

Lark: *sniff* “I just feel…..like part of me is missing, you know?”

Irvine: “Well let’s not waste any more time. Let’s go!”

Rufus: “I suggest we head for Midgar.” *grins* “It’s the center of everything!”

Reeve: *starts crying too* “Don’t remind me!”

Vincent: *sighs* “Oh dear.”

(shell’s group is in a line and she paces in front of them)

Shell: “Okay, troops. Our mission is to head to the world of FF8 and search for Sephiroth.”

Twilight: *snorts* “Oh please. Give me a break!”

Shell: “You gotta problem with the way I run things, Twily?”

Twilight: “Hey! Only Opal can call me Twily!”

Tifa: *raises hand* “Can I stand next to someone else?”

Twilight: “The feeling’s mutual, hoebag.”

Tifa: “I am *not* a hoebag! Why do people always call me that?”

Shell: “All right, all right. Quiet you two. Any ideas on where we should go first?”

Zell: *raises hand* “Ooh! Ooh!!”

Shell: “Yes, Zell?”

Zell: “Let’s go to Balamb Garden! That’s a great place to start!”

Twilight: “Why the hell are we going to a stupid garden? What, do the carrots have some good info?” *laughs*

Quistis: “It’s not that kind of garden. It’s a school.”

Twilight: *groans* “School! Come on! I’ve never been to school, and I don’t want to start.”

Selphie: “We learn to fight at Garden! Tee hee!”

Twilight: *eyes light up* “Really? Lead the way!”


Ashley: “Yay! I love going to Libra!”

Seifer: *mutters* “Dumb Gundam Wing jerks.”

Rinoa: “I don’t know….I think the Gundam pilots are kind of cute.”

Ashley: *eyes flash* “They’re all *taken*, crack whore!”

Rinoa: *taken back* “Well excuse me!”

Yuffie: “Do *they* have any materia?”

Seifer: “Shut up!”

Bria: “I hope we find Sephiroth quickly.”

Yuffie: “I need some more materia.”

Seifer: “I *told* you to shut up!”

Ashley: “Seifer, please!”

Seifer: *whines* “She’s being ass lancing!”

Ashley: “She’s not the only one.”


Kiros: “Ward says Sephiroth’s a jerk and should rot in hell anyway.”

Lizzie and Katie: *stare in horror at Kiros* “?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

Ward: “……………………!!” *hits kiros over the head*

Kiros: *rubbing his head* “Ward says ow, Ward!” *pause* “Wait…”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Let’s get moving!” *puts an arm around squall* “Ready, son?”

Squall: “Can I kill myself?”

Laguna: *chuckles* “Now why would you want to do that, son? Dear old dad is here to protect you from any harm!”

Squall: “G-d help me.”

Elena: “We’re wasting time! Turks don’t waste time!”

Katie: “She’s right! We have to go find Sephiroth!!!”

Lizzie: “All right. Let’s go…” *mutters* “These guys are going to stick out so much….”

(Noelle’s group is staring around looking at each other)

Reno: “I hate Sephiroth.”

Barret: “Yo! Me too!”

Cid: “@$%^&#!”

Noelle: “I hate him too. But we have to go find him.”

Cloud: “Huh?”

Noelle: “Reno, I told you to get Cloud drunk.”

Reno: “I don’t wanna waste my stash!”

Noelle: “Reno!”

Reno: *mumbles* “Fine, fine.” *pours liquor down cloud’s throat* “There you go.”

Cloud: *blinks* “Ah. Good day all.”

Noelle: “Cloud, we have to go find Sephiroth.”

Cloud: “Ah….Sephiroth, huh? He isn’t a very pleasant fellow, is he?”

Barret: “Hells no!”

Red: *mumbles* “Why did I get stuck in this group?”

Cid: “@%^&%#$*?”

Barret: “That’s a good question, Cid! Yo! Where da hell do we start, yo?”

Noelle: “Well….I thought about it, and I figured we better check out the other stuff Lark likes. So….looks like we’ll be checking out Final Fantasy 6, Fushigi Yugi, Pokemon and those Star Wars book characters she made up.”

Reno: “Pokemon?! Ugh!”

Noelle: *grimaces* “I know. I’ll have to work myself up to go into that one. Let’s start with FF6.”

Barret: “Yo! We’ll kick their asses!”

Red: “That is not what we are journeying there to do, Barret.”

Barret: “Yo! Shut yer trap, buffalo! We have a job to do!”

Red: “Excuse me? Buffalo?” *sigh*

(lark and her group heads to midgar and they go into the shinra headquarters. reeve is hiding behind tseng)

Rufus: “What are you hiding from, Reeve?! You should be proud to work for Shinra and all its wonders!”

Reeve: *whispers* “Kill me.”

Tseng: “Only if you kill me too.”

Rufus: “No more talk of dying!”

Vincent: “Um….Rufus….we’re supposed to be finding Sephiroth. Not proclaiming your almighty greatness.”

Reeve: *mutters* “Yeah, could we refrain from doing that for at *least* five minutes?”

Rufus: *frowns* “Well….. That’s too hard! I am great! What can I say?” *grins* “Lark agrees with me! Right, Lark?”

Lark: *snapping out of a daze* “Huh? Oh. Yeah. Right. Love you, Rufus.”

Rufus: *frowns* “Well…she’s kind of out of it right now.” *grins* “JT agrees with me!”

JT: *sweat drops* “Er…..yeah.”

Rufus: “See?”

Tseng: “Can we just get on with it?”

Rufus: “Watch and learn.”

Reeve: *mutters* “Learn what?”

Rufus: *grabs a random employee by the collar and shakes him* “Where’s Sephiroth?! Have you seen him?!”

Employee: *shakes* “Um…n-n-no, President Rufus, uh, sir! I haven’t seen him!”

Rufus: *releases him* “You’re fired.”

Everyone else: “Rufus!”

Rufus: *sighs* “Fine. You’re not. But get out of here.”

JT: “Uh-oh.”

Vincent: “What is wrong?”

JT: *points* “Freaks at 3 o’clock.”

Rufus: “It’s three o’clock already?”

Tseng: *hand to his head* “Oh good g-d.”

JT: “No, look, Rufus.”

(hojo, heidegger, scarlet and palmer walk up to them)

Lark: *mutters* “Great. Just what I need to complete my wonderful day!”

Scarlet: “Oh look who it is. The President, the head of city development, two Turks, a former Turk, that stupid cowboy….and…..” *looks at JT and grins* “Ooh….you’re cute!”

JT: “Eep!” *hides behind lark* “You can keep your diseases, thanks!”

Reeve: “Yes, Scarlet. I’m impressed. You managed to recall everyone’s position.” *rolls his eyes* “Such intelligence.”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! What are you doing at our company?”

Rufus: “YOUR company! Excuse me, YOUR company! This is *MY* company! And don’t you rejects forget it!”

Palmer: “Tra laa laa! How could we, oh lovable President Rufus, sir?” *grins* “Now how about that space program?”

Rufus: “Yeah, I’ll get right on it after Scarlet goes into the convent.”

Palmer: “Oh goody!”

Hojo: “You are an idiot.”

Palmer: “Huh?”

Vincent: “We were wondering….have any of you seen Sephiroth?”

Reeve: “He ran off.”

Hojo: “Good! My son probably realized that you morons weren’t worth his time!”

Lark: *chin quivers* “…..No! That’s not true!” *starts crying*

Scarlet: “Look, Hojo! You made the skank cry!” *she and hojo high five*

Rufus: *yells* “That’s it! You’re fired! Get out of my sight!”

Scarlet, Heidegger, Hojo, Palmer: *blink*

Rufus: *roars* “NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Scarlet, Heidegger, Hojo, Palmer: “Eep!” *run off*

(everyone on the floor looks over at rufus)

Rufus: *glares* “What are you all looking at?! Get back to work! I run a business here!”

Lark: *cries into vincent* “You don’t think they’re right, do you?”

Reeve: “No. No way, Lark.”

Tseng: “What they don’t know could fill a Mako Reactor.”

Irvine: “They’re morons Lark.”

JT: *looks at irvine* “Oh yeah! I forgot you were here!”

Irvine: “Great.”

Rufus: “Fired morons at that!”

Reeve: *rolls his eyes* “Sure they are.”

Lark: *dries her eyes* “Sorry everyone…. I don’t usually cry so much.”

Vincent: “It’s all right, Lark.”

Rufus: “I hate to say it, but I don’t think Sephiroth is here. If he is…someone probably would have seen him.”

Tseng: “Yeah….and I don’t see any trails of blood like last time.”

Rufus: “Yeah, like when he killed my father!” *grins*

(everyone else edges away)

Irvine: “Well…..where to from here?”

Tseng: “Well…..when we were following Sephiroth he turned up in Junon.”

Rufus: “Ah, yes! Junon! My second favorite city on this planet! Let’s go. Into the Highwind!”

Reeve: “Um…Rufus? Didn’t Cloud and his gang *steal* the Highwind from you?”

Rufus: *grins* “Yeah. But the joke’s on them. I stole it back!”

(shell and her gang arrive at balamb garden)

Selphie: “Balamb Garden! Yay!”

Quistis: *puts some gloves on* “Yup. Good old Garden.”

Twilight: “Stop being cheery! You’re freakin’ me out!”

Zell: “Yo! Let’s go to talk to Headmaster Cid!”

Quistis: “Yeah. I heard he got a new chair.” *smiles*

Zell: “I wonder if that draw point in the library has refilled yet!”

Selphie: “I’ll beat you to it!”

(they run inside)

Quistis: “Wait for me! They may have gotten new books!” *follows*

Shell: “Well….”

Twilight: “I don’t like them.”

Tifa: “I’m sure they don’t like you either.”

Twilight: “Can it, hoebag.”

Tifa: “Shove it, stick boy.”

Twilight: *whines* “Shell! She’s talking back to me! Can I kill her?”

Shell: “No! Now come on. We’re going inside.”

(they go inside and meet up with zell, selphie and quistis, who aren’t looking too happy in front of the elevator.)

Selphie: “The draw point is *still* empty!”

Zell: “The cafeteria is *still* out of hot dogs *and* the girl with the pig tail isn’t working in the library today!”

Quistis: *mutters* “I couldn’t find anything to steal.”

Shell: “We don’t have time to fool around anyway. We have to find Sephiroth.”

Twilight: “Yeah! I need my only friend back!”

Tifa: *murmurs* “You can say that again.”

Shell: “Let’s go talk to Cid.”

Zell: “Oh no! It’s Fujin and Raijin! Hide me, Instructor!” *hides behind quistis*

Raijin: “Hey! Long time no see, ya know?”

Fuijin: “SEIFER?”

Zell: *in a high pitched voice from behind quistis* “Seifer’s a jerk!”

Raijin: “Yo! Don’t say that about Seifer, Instructor, ya know?”

Fujin: “JERK.” *kicks raijin*

Raijin: “Ow! I was only trying to protect Seifer, ya know?”

(fujin goes behind quistis and drags zell out by his hair)

Zell: “Ow! That hurts, ya know!” *pause* “Dammit!”

Shell: “Is Headmaster Cid in his office?”


Zell: “Can you let me go now?” *winces* “It hurts!”

Twilight: *points and laughs* “Ha ha! Sucks to be you!”

Shell: “Come on, everyone.”

(she, twilight, selphie, quistis and tifa start walking away)

Zell: “Ow! I learned my lesson! Let me go!”

(a kid runs by)

Raijin: “Yo! That kid’s running in the Garden, ya know?”

Fujin: “ILLEGAL.”

(raijin drops zell and he and fujin run after the kid)

Zell: *rubs his head* “Ow! Weirdos.” *scrambles to his feet* “Wait for me!!!”

(a few minutes later…the group goes into Headmaster Cid’s office)

Quistis: “Where’s the Headmaster?”

Zell: “Maybe we should ask Xu.”

Selphie: “Tee hee! Yeah, she always seems to know where the Headmaster is!”

Tifa: “…Isn’t that a little scary?”

FF8 characters: “No.”

Tifa: “Okay…”

Quistis: “Headmaster Cid?”

(headmaster cid comes out from under his desk)

Headmaster Cid: “Oh. I’m sorry. I thought the Garden was under attack.” *laughs* “I was just about to call for Squall.”

(all of them exchange weird looks)

Headmaster Cid: *chuckles* “Anyway, what did you come to see me about?” *darkly* “If it’s about NORG, I swear, I did not have his remains dumped in the river.”

Selphie: “Um…no….it’s not about that…”

Headmaster Cid: *smiles* “Oh. Good then.”

Zell: “Yo! Have you seen a tall guy in all black walkin’ around with a big sword?”

Headmaster Cid: “Since when did Seifer switch to wearing black?”

Shell: “No. Not Seifer. Different guy. He has long, silver hair. You can’t miss him.”

Headmaster Cid: *thinks* “No…. But I haven’t seen many people lately besides Nida and Xu, of course.”

Shell: “Dammit.”

(nida enters)

Nida: “Headmaster Cid! I came to suck up!”

Headmaster Cid: *groans* “It’s been fifteen minutes, Nida. Shouldn’t you been driving the Garden?”

Nida: “But we’re not moving, Headmaster Cid.”

Headmaster Cid: “Dammit.”

Twilight: “Ew! I forgot you drove this thing!”

Nida: “Twilight! Hi! Want me to show you around?”

Twilight: “Hell no! Get away from me!”

Shell: “Nida, have you seen Sephiroth around?”

Nida: “No….” *shudders* “I thankfully have not. If you want to find a freak like that, why don’t you try Galbadia Garden? There are a lot of strange people there.”

Selphie: “He’s right!”

Shell: “Yeah…he is.” *sigh* “All right. Let’s go to Galbadia Garden.”

Zell: “Yo! Don’t tell Lark we went to Galbadia Garden *or* took Nida’s advice for that matter!”

Shell: “Right.”

Nida: “Yeah! I give good advice! And I drive the garden well! So there! Nah!” *sticks out his tongue*

Quistis: “Hey…Headmaster Cid…is that a new chair? It’s nice.”

Headmaster Cid: “I know. I even had an alarm installed on this one after my old one was stolen.”

Quistis: *garden snap* “Dammit!”

(meanwhile…Ashley and her group members arrive at libra)

Ashley: *knocks on the door* “They better be here and not out fighting.”

Bria: “Wasn’t Libra destroyed in the tv show? Why are they living on it?”

Ashley: “…………..Shut up.”

(duo opens the door)

Duo: “Babe! Hey!” *hugs and kisses her* “I think I know why you came!” *wink*

Ashley: “Um…actually, no. We’re looking for someone. Can we come in?”

Duo: “Sure!” *calls* “Heero! Quatre! Wufei! We have guests!”

Ashley: “What about Trowa?”

Duo: “Oh, he’s at the circus performing today.”

(the other guys enter. heero’s expressionless, quatre’s smiling and wufei is glaring)

Wufei: “Stupid women! Get out of my house!”

Seifer: “We’re not *all* woman!”

Bria: “And we’re not all stupid!”

Ashley: “And this isn’t just your house anyway!”

Duo: “Damn straight!”

Wufei: *pause* “You all suck.”

Yuffie: “Do you guys have any materia?”

Heero: “If I did I wouldn’t reveal that information anyway.”

Quatre: “It’s so lovely of you to come! Let me make some tea! It’s such a beautiful day to be visiting. Space looks so beautiful! The sun is beautiful! The stars are–“

Seifer: “Shut up! You’re so ass lancing!”

Quatre: *chin quivers* “I was just trying to be nice.”

Rinoa: “You’re so mean, Seifer!”

Ashley and Seifer: “Shut up, crack whore.”

Heero: “So what brings you to Libra? And where’s Lark?”

Ashley: “You see, we’re looking for Sephiroth. He disappeared.”

Duo, Heero, and Quatre: “Good.”

Heero: “I hate him.”

Quatre: “He scares me.”

Duo: “He’s an ass lancing jerk.”

Wufei: “He’s my only friend!”

Heero: “He hates you.”

Wufei: “Bite me.”

Ashley: “Yeah, so have you guys seen him?”

Duo: “Nope.”

Heero: “If I had I would have killed him.”

Quatre: “I’m sorry we can’t be of much help.”

Ashley: *sighs* “That’s what I thought.”

Quatre: “Why don’t you go ask Treize and Zechs? They like him.”

Heero: “Yeah….they’re weird like that.”

Ashley: “Good idea. I think we’ll go pay them a visit.” *grins* “Who wants to come?”

Seifer: “Hopefully no one.” *ashley hits him in the stomach* “Ow!”

Duo: “I’ll help ya, babe!”

Quatre: “Me too!”

Heero: “I hate Sephiroth. And I have to work on the Wing Zero anyway.”

Wufei: “I don’t want to help you weak women.”

Seifer: “We’re not *all* women!”

Ashley: *shrugs* “Suit yourself. Let’s go.”

(Ashley’s group, accompanied by quatre and duo, head for the door)

Yuffie: “Will *they* have any materia?”

(Lizzie’s group arrives at the entrance of their old high school)

Lizzie: *shudders* “Why did Lark torture me by sending me back here?”

Katie: *thinks* “Um…..I don’t know.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Looks like fun!”

Kiros: “Ward says you’re a jerk.”

Ward: “…………!” *hits kiros*

Squall: “I hate my group.”

Elena: “I’m just glad I didn’t get stuck in a group with Reeve.” *frowns*

Lizzie: *takes a deep breath* “All right. Let’s go in.”

Katie: “I don’t know why Lark didn’t send people who still *go* here here.”

Lizzie: “Cause she’s a heartless bitch.”

Katie: “Lizzie!”

Lizzie: “Eh, she takes it as a compliment.”

(they go inside, and see a group of kids standing at the corner, waiting for the bell to ring.)

Lizzie: “Don’t make eye contact.”

Laguna: “Nonsense! I’ll handle this!” *he goes up to the kids* “Hey hey! How you kids doing?”

(kids exchange weird looks)

Kid 1: *whispers* “Why is this guy talking to us?”

Kid 2: *whispers* “And why is he wearing a *bowling* shirt?”

Laguna: “I’m Laguna Loire, President of Esthar! Have you kids seen a guy in a black cape with silver hair who goes by the name of Sephiroth? He might have mentioned the planet or something.”

Kid 1: *looks scared* “He’s high!”

Kid 2: *also scared* “Let’s run!”

(the kids run away)

Laguna: *looks confused* “What did I say?”

Lizzie: *sighs* “I told you. Let *me* do the talking.”

Kiros: “Ward says you’re a moron.”

Ward: “……………….!” *hits kiros*

(some slut comes up to squall)

Slut: “Hey, there. You’re cute! Are you a senior?”

Squall: *looks away* “Whatever.”

Slut: “Hey! I’m talking to you!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Slut: “Ew! You can at least look at me!”

Elena: “Back off! He doesn’t like you! Now go wave your pom poms somewhere else!”

Slut: “Ew! What a bitch!” *goes off*

Elena: *grins* “I love my job.”

Katie: “We’ve gotta find someone who *won’t* run away from us when we talk to them.”

Lizzie: “Better find someone we know.”

Kiros: *points* “Look, Laguna. I think there’s a secret door in that wall.”

Laguna: “Really?” *walks into the wall* “Ow!” *rubs his forehead* “Hey! There’s no door here!”

Kiros: “Ha ha! Ward says he got ya!”

Laguna: *rubs his head* “But…..*you’re* the one who told me to walk into the wall, Kiros.”

Kiros: *shifty eyes* “No I didn’t.”

Lizzie: “Come on, guys. We’re going to the cafeteria.”

Elena: “All right! Our group rocks!”

(Noelle and her group arrive in the land of ff6 and look around in confusion)

Noelle: “Well…where to from here?”

Cloud: “Perhaps we should find some people.”

Cid: “@#$^%#%^!” *points*

Barret: “Yo! Cid’s right! They’s some people standin’ right over there!”

Reno: “So there are. Thank you, professor obvious.”

Barret: “Yo! I didn’t see you pointin’ it out, smart ass!” *mutters* “Damn Shinra and their damn smart ass employees.”

Red: “Really. Why don’t we approach them and stop our pointless bickering?”

Barret: “Shut yer damn mouth, platypus!”

Red: *blinks in shock* “Excuse me. Platypus?!”

Barret: “You heard me, punk ass!”

Noelle: “Shut up! Act nice for once! We’re going over to them.”

(they walk over to the ff6 characters. there are 4 of them)

Noelle: “Hello there.” *smiles*

??????: *smiles back dashingly* “Why hello there, young lady. And what might a pretty girl like you be doing out here?”

Noelle: *giggles* “You must be Edgar. I’ve heard a lot about you from Lark.”

Edgar: *kissing her hand* “Ah, so you’re a friend of Lark’s? Any friend of Lark’s is a friend of mine.”

Noelle: “Well I’m Noelle, and this is Reno, Barret, Cid, Red, and Cloud. They’re from FF7.”

Edgar: “Ah. Well, I am Edgar Roni Figaro, king of Figaro castle. This is my brother Sabin, Cyan Garamonde, and Gau.”

Gau: “Gau! Gau!”

Noelle: “Uh-huh….” *edges away from gau* “Nice to meet you.”

Cyan: “If I may ask, what brings you travelers to our game?”

Noelle: “We’re looking for this guy.”

Sabin: “Is he a weird lookin’ freak with a face painted like a clown’s and a horrible laugh?”

Cyan: *shudders* “I will take revenge for my family.”

Noelle: “G-ds no! We’re not looking for Kefka!”

Reno: *chuckles* “Bet ‘Roth would like to meet him though. Especially if he looks like a clown!”

Noelle: “We’re looking for a guy in black–“

Edgar: “Wears a mask, has a dog and goes by the name of Shadow? Us too. We could sure use his help. He’s a very good fighter, I might say.”

Noelle: “No. Not him. He’s tall, wears black, his long silver hair, and carries a big sword.”

Sabin: “Silver hair?”

Gau: “Sword, Mr. Thou! Sword!”

Sabin: “Stop calling me that!”

Edgar: *thinks* “Hm….I don’t remember seeing anyone like that.”

Cyan: “Nor have I. I’m sorry.”

(another figure comes running up)

?????: *panting* “Hey, guys! Look what I stole–er…I mean treasure hunted. Yeah. That’s what I meant.” *holds up a coin purse*

Edgar: “That’s nice, Locke.”

Locke: “Who are these people?”

Sabin: “They’re looking for someone. Have you seen anyone in black with silver hair and a big sword?”

Locke: *thinks a minute* “Hope that’s not the guy I stole this off of….” *Noelle looks on intently* “Oh no. He had blonde hair.”

Noelle: *frowns* “Oh. Well thanks anyway.”

Edgar: “You’re very welcome.”

Red: “We must get going if we’re going to find him.”

Cid: “@!#%^!&!&!!”

Barret: “Yo! Cid’s right! Shut yer trap, polar bear!”

Red: *mutters* “Oh goodness.”

Noelle: “Come on, guys. We’re going to Fushigi Yugi.”

Reno: “There are no guys *there* you consider good looking? Are there?”

Noelle: *laughs*

(shell and her band arrive at galbadia garden)

Zell: “I hate this Garden.”

Selphie: “I like Trabia best.”

Zell: “It blew up.”

Twilight: “IT DID?!”

Selphie: *bursts into tears* “Yes!”

Twilight: “Cool! Can we go see that, Shell?”

Shell: “No.”

Twilight: “PLEASE?”

Shell: “NO! Shut up!”

Twilight: “I could use the Force to warp your thinking.”

Shell: “And *I* could send you back to Nida, where you can learn the wonders of how to move the sticks to drive the Garden.”

Twilight: *pales* “Forget it.”

Quistis: “Want me to go talk to the Headmaster?”

Shell: “Nah. If they make us wait in that damn reception room, I’ll kill myself. Let’s just walk around and talk to some freaks.”

Selphie: “They’re not *all* freaks, you know. Irvine came from here.”

Twilight: “He’s a pervert!”

Shell: “Twilight, I wouldn’t talk. You fit in perfectly here.”

Twilight: “Hey! Quiet, you!”

Quistis: “Well….who should we talk to?”

Zell: *points* “Ooh! Let’s talk to her! She’s pretty!!”

Quistis: “Besides looking like a bit of a slut, she looks halfway normal.”

Shell: “All right.” *they go over to her* “Hi, I’m Shell, and we were wondering if you could help us.”

?????: “I’m Eva.” *looks them over* “You’re from Balamb, aren’t you.”

Zell: *flips out* “Yeah! You gotta problem with that?!”

Eva: “No. A friend of mine was sent on a mission with SeeD’s from Balamb. You know Irvine Kinneas?”

Selphie: “Do we ever!”

Quistis: “We were the SeeD’s he was sent on a mission with.”

Eva: “Oh. Well did he make SeeD himself yet?”

Zell: “No. He’s not as cool as me!” *punches air*

Eva: *looks him over* “Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.”

Shell: “All right. That’s enough mindless chatter. We’re looking for a guy with long silver hair, in black leather, with a big sword.”

Eva: *raises eyebrows* “Ooh. Black leather?” *grins* “Well, I haven’t seen him, but if I do, I’ll let you know.” *walks away*

Tifa: *sighs* “We’re not getting anymore.”

Twilight: “Shut up, hoebag. You’re depressing everyone else.”

Tifa: *clenches fists* “Grrrr!!”

Selphie: “Where to now?”

Quistis: *looks around frantically* “Isn’t there *anything* I can steal?! I’m going through withdrawal here!”

Zell: “What’s that, Instructor?”

Quistis: *sweat drops* “Nothing.”

Shell: *thoughtfully* “Maybe we should go to Esthar….”

Zell: *whines* “Esthar! But that place is so confusing!”

Twilight: “Stop whining.”

Tifa: “Leave him alone.”

Twilight: “You shut up too, hoebag.”

Selphie: *sarcastically* “Our group gets along *soooooooooooooo* well.”

Twilight: “Shut up! All of you! I could kill you all just by closing my fist!”

Shell: “Right. Come on, everyone. Let’s get out of this horrible place and go to Esthar.”

(meanwhile Ashley and her gang approach the house where zechs and treize live. Ashley goes to knock)

Bria: “Do you think they’re home?”

Zech’s Voice: *yells from inside* “OH, YES, TREIZE!”

Everyone: *sweat drops*

Bria: *mutters* “I think that answers my question.”

Ashley: *mumbles* “He’s as loud as someone *else* I know…” *looks at seifer*

Seifer: *more sweat drops* “Eh heh…”

(Ashley knocks anyway)

Rinoa: “You’re knocking?!”

Yuffie: “….They sound kind of busy.”

Duo: “Either they get interrupted now or later.”

Ashley: “They go at it all day.”

Quatre: “Oh dear….”

Rinoa: “…..So who’s actually going to come answer the door?”

Ashley and Duo: “Treize.”

(treize appears at the door a moment later shirtless and wearing a pair of jeans that are zipped up, but not buttoned at the top)

Treize: “Hi there.” *smiles*

Ashley: “Hi yourself. Geez! You two are worse than me and Duo!”

Seifer: “What?!”

Duo: *laughs*

Zech’s Voice: “Treize! Come back!!”

Treize: *grins as he calls back* “Just a minute, darling!” *back to Ashley* “So what brings you here this lovely afternoon?”

Zech’s Voice: “TREIZE!!”

Treize: *sighs* “Excuse me. He’s a bit impatient.” *calls back* “Zechs! I’ll be there in a moment!” *chuckles and turns back* “Now, why are you here?”

Ashley: “Have you seen Sephiroth?”

Treize: “Ooh….Sephiroth….no….I haven’t seen him….but I wish I had. He’s a handsome one.”

Zech’s Voice: “Yeah! Sephiroth is hot!”

Treize: “Quiet, Zechs!”

Everyone else: *sweat drops*

Treize: “Why are you looking for him?”

Ashley: “He ran off. Lark’s all upset and she wants us to find him.”

Treize: “Aw! Poor Lark! I hope you find him.”

Zech’s Voice: “Lark’s there? Invite her in.”

Treize: “It’s not Lark, Zechs.” *sweat drops as he turns back* “Where were we?”

Yuffie: “Do you have any materia?”

Seifer: “Shut up about the damn materia already!”

Ashley: *sweat drops* “No…that’s it…thanks for your help.”

Treize: “Hm…maybe he went to the Sanq Kingdom. That’s a nice place.”

Zechs’ Voice: “I love the Sanq Kingdom!”

Treize: *calls back* “No sh*t!”

Everyone else: *shocked*

Treize: *smiles* “Sorry. But don’t you find that irritating as well?”

Zechs’ Voice: “Know what’s irritating? Being kept like this!”

Everyone else: *sweat drops*

Ashley: *as she and everyone else slowly back away* “Yeah….um…we’ll go to the Sanq Kingdom….thanks for the advice.”

Zechs’ Voice: “Tell Relena I need my banana scented shampoo back!”

Treize: *sighs* “Still with that? I told you you could use mine.” *going back inside*

Zechs’ Voice: “The house smells enough like roses as it is. Besides, you said you *liked* banana!”

(treize closes the door)

Everyone: *stands in stunned shock*

Quatre: “That was the most awkward moment of my life.”

Duo: “That’s why I hate coming here.”

Yuffie: *pouts* “And they didn’t even have any materia.”

Bria: “Oh well.”

Quatre: “Let’s go to Earth!” *pause* “With our Gundams!”

Seifer: “Why did you pause like that?”

(everyone starts walking again)

Ashley: “Does it matter, Seifer?”

Seifer: “Yeah. He sounded like an idiot.”

Quatre: “I am *not* an idiot!”

Seifer: “Well you sound like one.”

Duo: “This is gonna be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day….”

(meanwhile…back at high school from hell….)

Laguna: *waves at a group of homies* “Hey hey! What’s hangin’, dudes! Surf’s up! Party on!”

Lizzie: *pulls him along, really embarrassed* “Laguna….you’re slowly killing me.”

Kiros: “Ward says you’re out of touch.”

Ward: *no reaction*

Kiros: “Wow! Ward actually agreed for once!”

Katie: “I don’t see anyone I know!”

Squall: *running away from some more girls* “Why am I so popular?”

Elena: “Cause you’re hot, you idiot!” *dreamy look* “But not as handsome as Tseng…”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Katie: “Ooh! Look, Lizzie! There’s Jess!”

Lizzie: “Jess!!” *she runs over to jess*

Jess: “Lizzie! Katie! What are you guys doing back here?”

Lizzie: “It’s a long story. We’re–“

Jess: *sees the other members of their group* “Who are they?”

Katie: “They’re just Final Fantasy characters.”

Jess: *blinks* “Excuse me?”

Katie: “Final Fantasy characters. You know, from the game?”

Jess: “Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.” *shakes head* “You guys are out of your mind!”

Lizzie: “Have you seen anyone in a black cape and long silver hair?”

Jess: *looks out into the courtyard* “Um…..no.”

Katie: *garden snap* “Dammit!”

Lizzie: *sighs* “Thanks anyway.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! I’m President of Esth–” *squall claps a hand over laguna’s mouth and holds him down. laguna struggles*

Kiros: “Yay! Someone shut him up!”

Lizzie: “Ugh….where to now, Katie?”

Katie: *cocks head* “Fozzle?”

Lizzie: “Maybe he went to the mall to get some hair gel or something.”

Elena: “Ooh! A mall! Maybe I can find Tseng a present…” *mutters darkly* “Then we’ll see who likes Reeve…”

Katie: “Shopping! Hooray!”

Laguna: *still struggling* “Met ne oo all!”

Squall: “You’ve lost your permission to talk.”

Laguna: *muffled* “Mmy?”

Squall: “Why? Cause you’re too dorky.”

Kiros: “Whoo hoo! Squall is my new hero!”

Lizzie: *sighs* Let’s just go to the mall….”

Laguna: “Suuune!”

(they start walking out)

Elena: “Hmmm….now what would Tseng want?” *pauses shudder* “Ugh. Besides *that*.”

Ward: *sigh*

(Noelle and her crew enter the world of fushigi yugi. the guys all look bored, but Noelle looks around excitedly)

Noelle: “I know they’re around here somewhere….”

Reno: *takes a sip from his flask* “Yeah.”

Cloud: *yawns* “I am a bit sleepy.”

Barret: “Yo! Where are dese jerks!”

Cid: “#@!%^&*#!”

Barret: “Yo! Dat’s what I’m sayin’, man!”

Red: *sighs* “Please spare me.”


Noelle: “TASUKI!”

(they hug)

Tasuki: “What’s up, Elle?”

Noelle: “Not much. We were just looking for someone.” *looks around* “Where’s everyone else?”

Tasuki: *shrugs* “Hotohori started talkin’ and they started listenin’, and I said I heard a noise outside and came over here.” *sighs* “Nuriko may think he’s hot, but I think he’s BOR~RING!”

??????: “Well, maybe if you listened you’d like it more, ya know?”

Noelle: “Oh. Hi Chichiri. Couldn’t you get Nuriko to come out here or something?”

Chichiri: “They’re kinda busy, ya know?”

Noelle: *frowns* “This sucks. Well then where’s Koji? He’s not one of the Suzaku Seven.”

Tasuki: “Koji!”

Noelle: “Huh?”

????: *from behind Noelle* “Don’t forget about me!”

Noelle: *whirls around* “KOJI!” *hugs him*

Reno: *chugs more alcohol* “I’m bored out of my mind.”

Barret: *points to tasuki* “Yo! Lookit all that jewelry dat punk’s got on! He could open his own damn store!”

Cid: “@$!!%^&&@!!”

Barret: “Yo! You said it, man!”

Red: “Could you two *please* quiet down?”

Barret: “Yo! Shut yer trap, blowfish!”

Red: *sighs* “I’m not even going to reply to that one.”

Chichiri: “So what brings you here, ya know?”

Noelle: “We’re looking for someone. He’s tall–“

Tasuki: “Nakago?”

Noelle: *shudders* “No!”

Chichiri: “Tomo?”

Noelle: “Ugh! G-d no!”

Koji: “Let her finish!”

Noelle: *smiles* “Thank you, Koji.” *clears throat* “We are looking for a tall guy in a black cape with long silver hair that carries a long silver sword.”

Chichiri: *thinks* “…I don’t think I’ve seen anyone like that.”

Cloud: “Good. He didn’t say ‘ya know’ that time.”

Tasuki: “Sorry….but I don’t think I’ve seen anyone like that.”

Koji: “Me neither.”

Noelle: *sighs* “Aw, dammit.”

Reno: *starts dragging her away* “GoodLet’sgetoutofhereIdon’tlikethesepeoplethey’rescary.”

Noelle: *as she’s dragged away* “What? Reno, I can’t understand you.”

Cloud: “Can I squeeze in a quick nap?”

Barret: “Yo! You #@$% kiddin’ me? Be a man!”

Cloud: “Oh…” *hangs head*

Noelle: *waves* “Bye bye, Tasuki! Bye, Koji! Bye, Chichiri!”

Fushigi Yugi Guys: “Good bye!”

Red: *as he walks away* “Looks like it’s on to Pokemon…”

Barret: “Yo! Shut up, grasshopper!”

(lark and her group finally make it to junon)

Rufus: *proudly* “I own this place too!”

Tseng: “No one’s impressed anymore.”

Rufus: “Quiet you! Or I’ll fire you!”

Tseng: “…That’s more of a blessing than a threat…”

Rufus: “Shut up!”

JT: “All right…um…just let’s calm down, and look for Sephiroth. Okay?”

Irvine: “JT’s right. Rufus, shut the hell up.”

Rufus: “Hey! Who got you here? MY airship!”

Vincent: “Actually–“

Rufus: “Shut up, Vincent, or I’ll rehire you.”

Vincent: *gulp* “Never mind.”

Lark: *quietly* “Guys….let’s just ask around, okay?”

Rufus: *seriously* “Right.” *grabs some passing soldier by the color and shakes him* “I’m the President! Have you seen Sephiroth around?”

Soldier: “N-n-no, sir! President Rufus, sir! I haven’t seen him! If I did I would tell you cause I don’t want to die, President Rufus! I really, really don’t!”

Rufus: *lets him go with a weird look* “Okay…”

(the soldier runs off)

Rufus: *turns to the group* “I’m not *that* mean, am I?”

(everyone but lark nods vigorously)

Rufus: *pouts* “Am not.”

Irvine: *frowns* “Where is he?”

Vincent: *sniff* “Angel….”

Tseng: “Dammit, Sephiroth….”

Reeve: *sighs* “I’m worried about him….”

Rufus: “This is all very ass lancing.”

JT: *frowns*

Lark: *sadly* “Maybe….maybe….maybe he doesn’t want to be found…”


Rufus: *stamps foot* “Well that’s too damn bad! Cause we’re findin’ him anyway!”

Tseng: “Why not try the crater? Maybe he went back there.”

Reeve: “Great idea, Tseng!”

Tseng: *blushes* “Thanks, Reeve.”

Vincent: “Hmmm…yes….the crater….”

Irvine: “Let’s go!”

(everyone starts to walk off except for lark. she grabs JT’s arm before he can go far and keeps him back)

JT: “What’s wrong? Want a hug?”

Lark: “……….Yes.”

(he hugs her)

JT: “It’ll be okay, Lark. We’ll find him.”

Lark: *tears silently coming from her eyes* “Oh g-d…I hope so.”


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