#31 – Theme Park Nazi’s 2

Shell: “The first thing we have to do is buy everyone character hats! Me and Rude are getting Minnie ones!”

Originally Published: 8/31/00 . 33 pages

First stop the Magic Kingdom! But not everything is going smoothly. Reno’s scared of drinking, Tseng couldn’t sleep after rooming with Reeve, and Seifer’s annoying everyone with his commando park touring style! Will they survive their first day without killing each other?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

Ew, the mediocrity continues. There are a few things – Squall falling asleep on the peoplemover, Rude finishing Rufus’ maze – but other than that, blah. I don’t like how I had the characters get recognized like they were celebrities – that never happened again! Two other things of note – the dialogue between Lark and Shell at the Haunted Mansion really happened in real life, ride stopping and all, and the reason Lark hates the Snow White ride is because it horrorfied me on my first trip when I was five and I couldn’t ride it for years afterwards.

(we’ll check on each of the rooms first…)

Reno: *walks into the room and drops the suitcases* “Wow! I’ve never seen a bed that big in my life!”

Noelle: *runs a finger down his arm* “What do you say we try it out?” *wink*

Reno: “Sure!”


Seifer: “6 A.M is pretty early!” *climbs into bed*

Ashley: *frowns* “Seifer!”

Seifer: “Sleeping now. Night.”

Ashley: “This is so ass lancing!” *stamps her foot and goes into the bathroom*


Rude: *picks shell up and carries her over to the bed, kicking the door shut* “What is your desire, my princess?”

Shell: *winks* “You learn anything from Playboy?”


Quistis: “Cloud, you can sleep on the floor.”

Cloud: “All right. It’s only proper, I suppose, since we’re not married.”

Quistis: *plops down on the bed and spreads out, taking up the whole thing* “This is going to work out *just* fine.”


Rinoa: *yawns* “I’m tired from that fight.”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Rinoa: *climbs into bed* “You going to sleep, Squall?”

Squall: “Whatever.”

(meanwhile…zell, irvine and rufus just stand in their room staring at the bed)

Rufus: “One bed….”

Irvine: “Three of us….”

Zell: “Come on! We can all fit!”

(rufus and irvine look at each other, then turn to zell)

Rufus: “Um…..no.”

Irvine: “*We’re* taking the bed. You get the floor.”

Zell: “Wha?! Why?!”

Rufus: “You smell like chocolate and you almost puked on me!”

Irvine: “Plus, there’s always someone sleeping on the floor at a sleepover.” *smiles*

Zell: *frowns* “That’s true….all right. I’m going to put my pajamas on.” *goes into the bathroom*

(irvine and rufus high five.)

(meanwhile…reeve and tseng walk into their room)

Reeve: *sighs* “Well….here we are.”

Tseng: *gulp* “Yeah….”

Reeve: “You don’t feel awkward about sleeping in the same bed with another guy, right?”

Tseng: “No. Not at all!”

Reeve: “Yeah. Me neither.” *pause* “Since we have no luggage I guess we’ll have to sleep in our boxers.” *he strips down to his boxers*

Tseng: *eyes glued to reeve* “Uh……”

Reeve: *climbing into bed* “Coming, Tseng?”

Tseng: “Just a minute.” *runs into the bathroom*

Reeve: *blinks* “That was kind of weird.” *shrugs and lays down* “Oh well.”

(meanwhile…lark, sephy and vincent come into their room)

Lark: “Wow! Look at this room! It’s huge!” *jumps on the bed*

Vincent: “I’m going to get some ice from the vending machine. Be right back.” *he leaves*

Sephiroth: *shyly* “So….Lark…..mind if I ask why you decided to stay with me and Vincent instead of Irvine and Rufus?”

Lark: “Well, I wanted to have a relaxing vacation, so I decided I really wasn’t in the mood to have 2 guys grabbing at me. I mean, I know you and Vincent are both bi, but you have no interest in me, so it’s okay!”

Sephiroth: *sweat drops* “Heh heh….right.” *wipes his brow* “I think I’ll take a shower.”

Lark: *sits up* “Want some company?”

Sephiroth: *freezes* “Huh?”

Lark: “We can take a shower together–wearing our bathing suits, of course.”

Sephiroth: “Sure. You willing to wash my hair?”

Lark: “Sure! Will you do mine?”

Sephiroth: “If you’d like.”

(they pull out their suits and go into the bathroom locking the door)

Vincent: *reenters with the ice* “Hm?” *looks around* “Lark? Angel?” *he hears the shower water come on and the sound of both their voices* “No….” *pales*

(so vincent sits there, waiting and about 20 or so minutes later lark and sephy emerge in their bathing suits, drying themselves off)

Vincent: *sigh of relief* “I thought you left me out.”

Lark: “Out of what?”

Sephiroth: *shoots vincent a nasty look* “*Nothing*.”

Lark: *shrugs* “Whatever. Let’s go to bed.”

(next morning…lark wakes up clinging to sephy, and he’s holding her back, and vincent’s holding onto lark. *pause* Aw. Anyway, she stirs and rubs her eyes, and checks the clock)

Lark: “5:15? We should get up.” *pushes sephy* “Hey, Sephy-sama. Rise and shine! It’s a beautiful day!”

Sephiroth: *groans and pushes her away* “Stop it, Vincent.”

Lark: *sighs* “I tried.” *pushes him out of bed and onto the floor* “Get up!”

Sephiroth: *growls and sits up, glaring at her* “That wasn’t nice.”

Lark: *smiles innocently* “Morning to you too. Now go get dressed. And put on what I picked out for you last night. All right?”

Sephiroth: *trudges off to the bathroom* “Fine…”

Lark: *turns to vincent and shakes him gently* “Time to wake up, Vincent.”

Vincent: *eyes open* “Huh? Who disturbs me?”

Lark: “There’s no more coffin, dear.”

Vincent: *sits up* “Right. I’m sorry.”

Lark: “It’s all right. Go put on what I picked out for you.”

Vincent: “All right.” *gets up and goes into the bathroom*

Sephiroth’s voice: “Hey! I’m in here!”

Vincent: “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” *shuts the door*

Lark: *picks up the phone* “I better call some of the others.” *dials irvine’s room*

????: *sleepily* “Hello?”

Lark: “Good morning, Rufy! It’s time for a Disney Day!”

Rufus: *mumbles not good things*

Lark: “Now don’t give me that! I know you want to get the character’s autographs!”

Rufus: “Yeah…but it’s 5:16 in the morning!”

Lark: “Go wake up Irvine and Zell. And make sure you *don’t* wear your usual outfits.”

Rufus: “All right. See you in a few.”

Lark: “Yup.” *hangs up and dials tseng and reeve*

????: *answers halfway through the first ring, sounds *very* tired* “Hello?”

Lark: “Tseng? It’s me!”

Tseng: “Oh…..hi, Lark….”

Lark: “Boy you sound tired, Tseng! It’s like you’ve been up all night!”

Tseng: “Yeah….well…..”

Lark: “Well, wake Reeve up and wear something you would never wear to work, okay?”

Tseng: “…..Okay.”

Lark: “And drink some coffee! You sound terrible!”

Tseng: “…All right.”

Lark: *hangs up* “Poor Tseng.”

(sephy and vincent come out of the bathroom. they both have black t-shirts and shorts on. they look at lark, then at each other, then back to her again, frowning.)

Lark: *tries not to laugh*

Sephiroth: “It’s not funny, woman!”

Lark: “Sorry! You just look cute, that’s all!”

Sephiroth: “I’m wearing *shorts*! SHORTS!”

Lark: “Well they’re no less revealing then those tight ass pants you always wear.”

Sephiroth: “I–” *blushes* “Shut up, woman.”

Lark: “You’re still gonna melt in all black.”

Sephiroth: “No we won’t.”

(everyone meets in the lobby. all the guys are in shorts and t-shirts, and all the girls have tank tops or halter tops on and shorts or skirts. rufus and reno have hawaiian shirts on. zell is nowhere to be seen)

Rufus: “Reno! You copied me!”

Reno: “No! You copied me!”

Quistis: *is counting everyone* “Someone’s missing…”

Seifer: *holding a map of the magic kingdom. he’s holding it and pointing to it* “Then we go to the Haunted Mansion….Ashley? Are you listening?”

Ashley: *looks the other way* “Yeah. Sure.”

Rinoa: “You excited, Squall?”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Quistis: “Someone’s missing!”

Lark: *looks around* “Where’s Zell?”

Quistis: “Yes. That’s who’s missing. How did you know?”

Lark: “I have a sixth sense.”

(zell comes trotting out of the gift shop over to them, wearing a t-shirt that says i’m with stupid and an arrow pointing to the right.)

Zell: “Hey guys! Look what I got!”

Everyone else: *blinks*

Zell: *stands next to irvine* “Look, Irvine!”

Irvine: “You’re a jerk.” *slaps zell upside the head*

Zell: *rubs the back of his head* “Ow! It was funny!”

Quistis: “Okay, troops! We’re moving out!”

Cloud: “Huh? We’re going around in circles?” *walks around in circles*

Noelle: “Okay! Who has some liquor for Cloud? Reno?”

Reno: *shakes his head* “No.”

Noelle: “Come on, Reno. You always have a flask of something on you. Can’t you part with it for a few minutes? It’s for a good cause!”

Reno: “No….I really don’t have any.”

Noelle: *feels his forehead* “Are you all right?”

Reno: “I’m just not drinking any more, that’s all. It’s not good for you. And you can’t either.”

Noelle: “Hey! You can’t tell me what to do!”

Reno: “I don’t want you to die!”

Noelle: *swoons* “Aw. That’s cute! All right, I won’t drink any more either.”

Zell: “They have some beer in the gift shop….”

Reno: “I’ll buy it!” *pause* “Wait….no.”

Quistis: “All right, we’ll get Cloud drunk, and *then* go.”

Seifer: *whines* “But we’re wasting precious touring time!”

Ashley: “Seifer, the damn park isn’t even open yet!”

Irvine: “Yeah, Seifer! Damn you’re ass lancing!”

Everyone else: *looks at Ashley*

Ashley: “What?”

(now that cloud is drunk, they all go up to the monorail platform)

Seifer: “…..and that’s our touring plan for the day.”

Lark: “Great plan, Seifer!” *they high five*

Everyone else: *blinks*

(the monorail comes up)

Cloud: “Ooh. Are we going to Gold Saucer?! I want to bet on the chocobo races!”

Rufus: “Are you sure he’s *drunk*?”

Quistis: “Yes.”

Rufus: “Drunk *enough*?”

(they all get on the monorail)

Rufus: “Oh.” *pulls something out of his pocket* “Here, Reno. Take this before I forget.” *hands reno a small book with mickey mouse on the cover*

Reno: *frowns* “What the hell is this?”

Rufus: “It’s my autograph book. You’ll be getting the autographs of the characters for me.”

Reno: *still frowning* “I am?”

Rufus: “Yes.”

Reno: “Can’t Rude do it?”

Rufus: “No. It’s your job.”

Reno: *mumbles* “This blows.”

Shell: “The first thing we have to do is buy everyone character hats! Me and Rude are getting Minnie ones!”

Rude: “Of course.”

Seifer: “That’ll waste touring time!”

Lark: “Not true, Seifer. We’ll shop on Main Street until the rest of the park opens. You know Main Street opens first.” *frowns* “I’m disappointed in you.”

Seifer: *hangs head* “I’ll do better.”

(the monorail stops and they step out and walk down to the entrance.)

Sephiroth: *twitch* “Happy music….” *twitch*

Vincent: *sighs* “It’s hot already.”

Zell: *stands next to shell* “Heh heh. Look.” *points to his shirt*

Shell: *glares at him, then turns to rude* “Rude….beat him up.”

(zell runs away)

Rude: “He ran away. Want me to follow?”

Shell: “Nah. Forget it.”

(they all go in and walk down main street)

Cloud: “It’s just like a turn of the century town. Intriguing.”

Reeve: “Tseng, you look kind of tired. Are you all right?”

Tseng: *stumbles* “Yeah….I’m fine.”

Rinoa: *hanging onto squall’s arm* “Isn’t it beautiful, Squall?”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Shell: “Come on! Rude and I are going to buy hats for everyone!” *they go into a store*

Sephiroth: “I don’t want a hat.”

Vincent: “Come on, Angel. You have to.”

Sephiroth: “I don’t wanna.” *narrows eyes* “And stop calling me that!”

(shell and rude return both wearing minnie mouse hats)

Noelle: “Boy that was fast!”

Shell: “Tee hee! We have hats for everyone!” *she takes out the hats. mickey hats for squall,  rinoa, Ashley and seifer,  donald duck hats for lark, irvine, rufus and zell, goofy hats for sephy, reno, tseng and reeve, and more minnie hats for cloud, quistis and Noelle*

Sephiroth: “I feel stupid.”

Lark: “I think you look cute!”

Sephiroth: *blushes* “Shut up, woman.”

Seifer: “Come on, come on, come on! Park’s opening! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” *makes frantic gestures*

Lark: *checks watch, gasps* “Ooh! He’s right! Come on, troops! Let’s mosey!”

Cloud: “I like that expression!”

(the park is opened and seifer and lark start running in one direction)

Reno: “Running? Aw, come on!”

Rufus: “Was he always this lazy?”

Tseng: *yawns* “Yes.”

(the gang runs over to splash mountain)

Lark: “Get in line! Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

Irvine: *looking at the drop* “Holy sh*t!” *jaw drops, looks scared*

Lark: *pulls on his arm* “Come on, Irvine!”

Irvine: “Um…..no. I’ll stay off thanks.”

Lark: “Come on, it’s fun!”

Irvine: “I…uh…don’t like log flumes.”

Lark: “Suit yourself.” *she and everyone else get on line*

Irvine: *wipes brow* “Phew.”

Sephiroth: *as they walk through to the front* “Hey….why do all these warnings say you may get wet?”

Shell: “Don’t worry about it. I’ve been on this ride a billion times and I never got wet once!”

Sephiroth: “All right….”

(irvine waits quite awhile until the group comes back, all laughing and pointing at sephiroth)

Irvine: “What? What happened?”

Sephiroth: *pushing dripping wet bangs out of his face* “Never got wet, huh?”

Shell: *sweat drops* “No….”

Sephiroth: “I’m the only person ever to get soaked on Splash Mountain! And now I can’t see!” *struggles with his hair*

Seifer: *practically jumping up and down* “Come on, people! Big Thunder Mountain!!!”

Ashley: “Seifer! Calm down! You’re getting to be ass lancing!”

(they all walk over to big thunder….irvine hangs back. everyone else starts to get in line)

Lark: “What’s wrong, Irvine?”

Irvine: *gulp* “Nothing…”

Lark: “Then what are you waiting for?”

Irvine: *sweat drops* “Nothing…”

(they all get in line, and wind their way to the front….irvine keeps lagging behind looking really nervous)

Irvine: “So this is a roller coaster, huh?” *gulp*

Lark: *laughs* “Yeah. It’s lame, but fun.”

Irvine: *sweat drops* “Oh? Is that so? Heh heh….yeah. Lame.”

(they’re about to get into the cars)

Lark: “Come on, Irvine.”

Irvine: *almost gets in, then stops* “No! I can’t! I can’t do it! It’s too much pressure!” *he runs out*

Lark: *blinks* “Uh….okay.”

(they go on the ride, and when they get off they all see irvine, pacing nervously)

Lark: “Irvine….you don’t like roller coasters?”

Irvine: *hangs head* “No….I’m such a coward.”

Lark: “Aw!” *hugs irvine* “That’s okay!”

Sephiroth: “Coward.”

Vincent: “That’s not nice, Angel.”

Sephiroth: *annoyed sigh* “Vincent…that *name*!”

Rufus: *snickers*

Seifer: “Tomorrowland, people!”

Ashley: *twitches* “Grrr…..”

Lark: “Don’t worry, Irvine. There’s only one more roller coaster, and you don’t have to go on it.”

Seifer: “Let’s *go*!”

(some time later….the gang is still in tomorrow land.)

Seifer: “Time for Alien Encounter!”

Lark: “Oh no. I will *not* go on that ride. I’m morally opposed to it.”

Sephiroth: “I’ll keep her company!”

Irvine: “Me too.”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Seifer: “All right, fine! Come on, people!”

Ashley: “Grrrr….”

(everyone goes on the ride but sephiroth, irvine, lark and squall.)

Lark: “While we’re waiting, why don’t we go on the peoplemover?”

Guys: “All right.”

(they get on. in case you don’t know what it is, the peoplemover, now called the tomorrowland transit authority, goes around tomorrowland on a track and it’s a pretty long and very relaxing ride. 4 people can fit in a car, two on either side, facing each other…anyway, lark gets on, and so does squall, and they sit across from one another, irvine shoves sephiroth out of the way and sits down next to lark, much to his displeasure, and he glares at irvine as irvine puts an arm around lark.)

Lark: *fans herself* “It’s getting hot out.”

Sephiroth: *wipes brow* “No kidding.”

Irvine: “It gets hotter sitting next to you, Lark.” *winks*

Lark: *giggles* “You’re so lame, Irvine.” *cuddles up to him* “Lame but cute.”

Sephiroth: *death glare*

Squall: *yawns* “Whatever.”

(they pass into complete and total darkness. you can barely see the person sitting next to you, but irvine can see enough to lean over and start kissing lark)

Lark: “Irvine!” *kisses him back*

Sephiroth: “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……………………”

Lark: *breaks away* “Do you hear growling?”

(they come back into daylight, and irvine frowns. squall fell asleep. no one notices.)

Irvine: “I like the dark part better.” *winks*

Sephiroth: *glares* “I don’t.”

(they get off the ride, but they forget all about squall and leave him there. they head back over to alien encounter.)

Lark: “I hope they’re out.”

Sephiroth: *fans himself* “Hot…..”

(the rest of the gang comes out of the ride. seifer is shaking and crying)

Lark: “What happened to him?!”

Ashley: *holding a crying seifer, whispers* “He got scared….”

Rinoa: “He tried to chew through the restraints so he could run!”

Seifer: “I couldn’t chew fast enough!!”

Ashley: “It’s just a ride, Seifer! Calm down!” *pats him on the back*

Zell: “Ha ha! Cry baby, Seifer!”

Seifer: *snaps* “Die, chicken wuss!”

Zell: *frowns* “Hey….”

Rinoa: *looks around* “Where’s Squall?”

Lark: “Huh?” *looks around* “Squall?” *pause* “Yeah….where is Squall?”

Irvine: “He was on the ride with us…..right? Man, he’s so quiet, you just forget about him!”

(meanwhile…back at the peoplemover…squall is going around in a car, still asleep.)

Kid: *in the next car* “Mommy? Is that man dead?”

Mother: “He’s just drunk, honey.”

(a short while later, squall has again joined the group, and seifer has recovered.)

Lark: “Time for Buzz Lightyear!”

(they all get on buzz lightyear space ranger spin. now, i’ll explain this ride. you sit two in a seat, and shoot at targets on the walls trying to get higher scores. and you can spin the car by moving the joy stick. lark gets in with sephy, and reno gets in with rufus for some reason…and that’s all that’s important…so they’re all in the cars….)

Sephiroth: “I don’t use a gun.”

Lark: “It’s just a ride.”

Sephiroth: “Very well. I rarely turn down a chance to kill things.”

Lark: “They’re not real guns.”

Sephiroth: “Still.”

Reno: *frowns* “How did I get stuck with you?”

Rufus: “Hey! I’m your boss!”

Reno: *shrugs* “So?”

Rufus: “You’re fired.”

Reno: *shrugs*

Rufus: “Hey! You’re supposed to be upset!”

Reno: “Am I really fired?”

Rufus: “………….No.” *pause* “So what do we do? Just shoot these things with this thing?”

Reno: “Yeah.”

(after the ride)

Lark: “Hehe! Beat you, Sephy!”

Sephiroth: *pouts* “I let you win.”

Rufus: *jaw drops* “You beat me, Reno?!”

Reno: “Rufus, you had *4* points.”

Rufus: “Still! I challenge you to a rematch!”

Reno: *rolls eyes* “Fine….”

(they go again)

Quistis: “I’m going to go look in some of the souvenir shops.”

Rinoa: “Oh, are you going to buy something?”

Quistis: *sweat drops* “Uh…yeah…” *goes off*

(tseng falls down on a bench and nods off)

Sephiroth: *fans himself* “I’m melting here!”

Zell: *goes to stand next to sephiroth* “Heh heh. Look!” *points to shirt*

Sephiroth: *turns and glares* “I’ll murder you.”

Zell: “Never mind!” *looks down* “Uh…does it stay I’m with *stupid*?! Heh heh…I thought it said stupendous.” *runs off*

Seifer: “This is wasting time!”

Reeve: “You are really getting to be very ass lancing.”

Everyone: *looks at Ashley*

Ashley: *sweat drops* “It’s a good word!”

(rufus and reno reemerge)

Reno: “See? I still whooped your prissy boy ass.”

Rufus: “My gun wasn’t working! Let’s go again!”

Reno: *sighs* “Fine….”

Lark: “Why do I have a feeling that Rufus is going to play until he wins?”

Sephiroth: “Cause he’s a stuck up rich snob?”

Lark: “He is not!”

Quistis: *returns* “I have presents!” *gives expensive looking necklaces to all the girls*

Noelle: “Wow! Thanks, Quistis! This must have cost you a fortune!”

Quistis: *sweat drops* “Yeah….sure…did…”

(reno and rufus come back out)

Rufus: “Mine was broken again!”

Reno: “It was not! You just saying that cause you lost.”

Rufus: “We going again!” *drags reno back on*

Lark: *sighs* “Told ya.”

Reeve: “Tseng?” *pokes him* “You asleep?”

Tseng: *jerks awake* “Huh? No, I’m wide awake.”

Reeve: “I’m worried about you.”

Tseng: “Really? You are?”

Reeve: “Sure. You’re my friend. I care about you.” *puts a hand on his shoulder*

Tseng: “I care about you too, Reeve.”

Seifer: “After those two losers finally get sick of this ride, we’re going on the Haunted mansion.”

Lark: “Yay! I love the Haunted mansion!” *pause* “Except the stretch room.”

Seifer: “Hey…it isn’t scary…is it?”

Lark: “No, just fun.”

Seifer: “Okay….”

(again rufus and reno emerge)

Reno: “Oh man! I tried to lose on *purpose* and still won! You really suck!”

Rufus: “Well I can’t help it that my thing is broken.”

Lark: “Are you two done now?”

Seifer: “You better be, cause we’re moving out.” *starts walking*

(everyone else starts walking)

Rufus: “…..I still won.” *runs ahead*

Reno: “WHAT?! You did not!” *head in his hands* “Man….I need a beer…” *shudders* “But I can’t have one…”

(they all go to the haunted mansion. in case you don’t know, in the stretch room they hang what looks like a dead body from the ceiling after telling you there’s no way out. ha ha. so as they’re getting in the actual cars, seifer is already shaking and looking scared.)

Lark: *points to the two guys working* “Hey, Shell, aren’t those guys hot?”

Shell: *looks and grins* “Ooh. Yeah….”

(so they get on the ride seifer goes with Ashley, sephiroth, rufus and vincent go together and lark goes with irvine and zell.)

Seifer: *whimpers* “I don’t like this ride…”

Ashley: “Geez, Seifer! It’s a freakin’ ride! Calm down!”

Irvine: “Shut up, Seifer! We can hear you from here!”

Seifer: *calls back* “At least I’m not afraid of Thunder Mountain!”

Irvine: “…….shut up!”

(they’re going through the ride….like I said, sephiroth, rufus and vincent are together, in that order.)

Rufus: *points* “Ooh! Look at that!”

Sephiroth: *mutters* “How did we get stuck with him?”

Vincent: “At least it’s cool in here.”

(they pass a coffin with a skeleton trying to get out of it)

Rufus: *points and laughs* “Hey! Look, it’s you, Vincent!” *laughs*

Sephiroth: “Don’t say that about my–er…don’t say that about Vincent!” *elbows rufus*

Rufus: “Ow!” *rubs his side* “That hurts, Sephiroth!”

Vincent: “Angel, that wasn’t nice.”

Sephiroth: “But he….” *pouts* “Fine…..and don’t call me that.”

(just as the cars are about to enter the graveyard part of the ride, where they play this freaky song and lots of heads jump out at you, the ride stops. but the music keeps playing.)

Seifer: “What?! It’s stopped! Why’s it stopped?!”

Ashley: “You are *so* ass lancing! I’m sure it’ll start moving in another second. It’s just a ride, Seifer!”

Seifer: *shudders* “I don’t like it! And this music is freakin’ me out!”

Lark: *annoyed sigh* “I bet those two cute guys were flirting with each other and not paying attention to what they were doing. That’s why the ride stopped..”

Zell: “Hey, there are two cute guys right here!” *adds quickly* “Not that I’m attracted to Irvine or anything.”

Lark: “Yeah….you’re cute….but they were *new* cute guys!”

Seifer: “I can’t take this music!”

Irvine: *calls* “Shut up, you big baby!”

Seifer: “Go to hell, cowboy!”

Rufus: “Ooh! Look at that!” *points*

Sephiroth: *growls* “You are SO annoying!”

Rufus: “Shut up or you’re fired!” *pause* “Wait….”

(the ride starts moving again)

Seifer: “Thank g-d!”

Ashley: “Tell me about it.”

(they get off the ride)

Seifer: *still trembling* “Ashley….do you really think that hitch hiking ghost will follow us home?”

Ashley: *groans* “Seifer–“

Everyone: “IT’S JUST A RIDE!”

Seifer: *twitch* “I knew that.”

Zell: “I’m hungry. Can we eat?”

Seifer: “No!”

Lark: “Actually, I think it’s a good idea.”

Seifer: *mutters* “You’re always siding with chicken wuss.”

Quistis: *holding a bunch of stuff* “Look! I have souvenirs from the gift shop!”

Rinoa: “Wow, Quistis! You must be broke by now!”

Quistis: *sweat drops* “Yeah….”

(they all sit down in the restaurant)

Rufus: “Ooh! Look! There’s a maze on the place mat! Reeve, give me a pen.”

Reeve: *digs one out of his pocket* “Here you are, sir.”

Rufus: “All right! Watch how fast I can do this maze.”

Seifer: “After this, we’re going to Fantasyland.”

Ashley: “And maybe *then* do you think you could stop whining, bitching or complaining for five minutes?”

Seifer: *whines* “I am not!”

Reno: “….I want a beer….” *twitch* “But I can’t have one…”

Noelle: “What’s the matter with you, Reno?”

Reno: *twitch* “Nothing.”

Sephiroth: “I call not going on any rides with Rufus for the rest of the trip!”

Rufus: *concentrating hard on the maze, looks up* “Huh? Hey!”

Lark: “Okay, no fighting. Can’t we have a nice, peaceful lunch?”

Squall: “Whatever.”

(tseng keeps half falling asleep and the snapping awake again)

Reeve: “Tseng, I think you need something with a lot of caffeine in it.”

Tseng: *flips through the menu* “Do they sell Jolt? Or pep pills?”

Rufus: *frowns* “This maze is hard….”

Seifer: *checks watch* “Where’s our waitress??”

Shell: “I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m having a lot of fun today!”

Rude: “I’m having lots of fun too.”

Vincent: “It’s too hot out.”

Lark: “I warned you not to wear black.”

Reno: *mumbles* “Can’t drink….beer’ll kill me.”

Reeve: “I think you could use some espresso.”

Tseng: *yawns* “Sounds good.”

Rufus: “Damn maze!” *slams fist on the table*

Irvine: “Relax, man!”

Rufus: “Easy for you to say! You haven’t tried this maze!”

Sephiroth: “No wonder your company failed.”

Rufus: “It did not fail!”

Cloud: “Right. My team just defeated you.”

Rufus: “Shut up!”

Quistis: “I want to check out a few more souvenir shops before we leave today.”

Rinoa: “You mean there’s still *more* stuff you wanna buy?”

Quistis: *sweat drops* “Yeah….that’s it…”

Zell: *looking the menu over, frowns* “There are no hot dogs…”

Rufus: “That’s it! Rude!” *hands him the pen* “I order you to do this maze for me.”

Rude: “Hm.” *takes the pen, and quickly does the maze in one try. when he gets to the end he writes yay! by rufus shinra, and hands the pen back to rufus* “Here you are, sir.”

Rufus: *grins* “Great work, Rude! You’re promoted! You’re the new leader of the Turks!” *looks at tseng* “Hear that, Tseng?”

Tseng: *barely awake* “Huh?”

Rufus: “You’ve been demoted.”

Tseng: *shrugs* “Eh. All right.”

Rufus: *jaw drops* “Aren’t you upset?”

Tseng: “Not really. Can I work for Reeve?”

Rufus: “Never mind. No one’s positions have changed.”

Tseng: *looks disappointed* “Oh.”

Shell: “You’re so smart, Rude!” *hugs rude*

Noelle: “Someone order Cloud some alcohol so he doesn’t sober up.”

Reno: *shudders* “Can’t drink….beer’ll kill me.”

(after lunch, the group reemerges, and, thanks to the work of 10 espressos, Tseng is alert. Cloud also had his alcohol.)

Seifer: “Come on! On to Fantasyland!” *marches ahead*

Reno: “He is *so* ass lancing.”

Everyone: *looks at Ashley*

Ashley: “Will you *stop* doing that?”

Zell: *stands next to vincent* “Heh heh. Look.” *points to the shirt*

Vincent: “Hm. Humorous.”

Zell: “Wha?” *frowns*

Sephiroth: *raises fist* “Don’t do that to Vincent!”

Zell: “I thought it said stupendous!” *runs away*

Vincent: “That was not necessary, angel.”

Sephiroth: *disappointed* “I wanted to hurt someone.”

(they pass it’s a small world. lark, Noelle, Ashley and shell start snickering)

Zell: “Why are they laughing?”

Irvine: “Must be a private joke.”

Seifer: “Come on! Let’s go on Snow White’s Scary Adventures!”

Lark: “Not me, thanks. I hate that ride.”

Sephiroth: “I’ll keep her company.”

Irvine: “Me too.”

Rufus: “Me three.”

Seifer: *shrugs* “Suit yourself. Onward ‘ho!”

Ashley: *mutters* “I’m going to kill him.”

(everyone gets in line except lark, sephiroth, irvine, and rufus)

Rufus: *looks around* “There certainly are a lot of little kids here.”

Irvine: “It’s Disney World! What did you expect?”

Sephiroth: “Children….” *he and lark shudder*

Rufus: *grabs onto irvine’s arm* “Ooh! Look! Captain Hook!” *pulls a piece of paper and a pen out of his pocket* “Irvine, go get me his autograph!”

Irvine: *gives him a look* “No way!”

Rufus: *takes out 10 gil* “I’ll pay you.”

Irvine: “Sold.” *grabs the money, and goes over to the character*

Lark: *whips out a camera* “Now *this* is a kodak moment.” *she waits till irvine is up to the character* “Say cheese, Irvine!”

Irvine: “Huh?” *turns*

Lark: *snaps a picture* “Tee hee! Thank you!”

Sephiroth: *tries not to laugh*

Irvine: *stalks back over with rufus’ autograph* “Lark!”

Lark: “Aw, come on, Irvine! I think it’s cute!”

(the groups comes out of the ride. seifer is shaking)

Seifer: “That was horrible! The witch was scary!”

Zell: “And you call *me* the chicken wuss!”

Ashley: “Have you *not* been scared of *anything* so far?”

Seifer: “Hey, shut up!”

Rufus: *pulls out a park map* “Ooh! Ooh! I want to go to Mickey’s Toontown fair! I bet there are a lot of characters there!”

Everyone else: *doesn’t look to thrilled*

Rufus: *stamps his foot* “The President has spoken.” *starts walking off*

Ashley: “Well at least there won’t be anything there to scare you, Seifer, unless you’re afraid of Mickey.”

Seifer: “Shut up! You’re just being mean now!”

(they go to mickey’s toon town fair, and rufus gets all wide eyed with excitement)

Rufus: “Wow! Look at all the little doorways!” *runs over to one of the little buildings* “Reno! Take my picture!”

Reno: *mutters* “Kill me…” *takes a picture of rufus by the building*

Random Kid: “Oh my g-d! Look, mom! It’s Cloud! And Squall! And Sephiroth!! Of the Final Fantasy games!”

Surrounding kids: “Where?! Where?!”

FF Characters: *look up* “Huh?”

(the characters are ambushed by screaming fans waving autograph books)

Sephiroth: “IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!” *runs away*

Kids: *chase him* “SEPHY! SEPHY! SEPHY!”

(there are like 5 kids pulling on cloud)

Kid: “You’re so cool, Cloud!”

Kid #2: “I love you, Cloud!”

Cloud: “I love you too, kids.”

(there are like 6 kids pulling on squall)

Kid: “Squall! Sign my book!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Kid #2: “Squall, can I take a picture with you?”

Squall: “Whatever.”

(there are few kids hanging around irvine. he’s on his knees talking to one of them)

Irvine: “You see, the key to getting girls is to flirt as much as possible.”

Quistis: “I think this is what Irvine meant when he said we might get attacked.”

(there are a few people around vincent)

Kid: “Can I see your claw?”

Vincent: *hangs head* “It is my shame.”

Kid: “Yeah, but can I see it?”

Rufus: *frowns* “Doesn’t anyone want my autograph?”

Kid: “You suck!”

Rufus: “Hey! I was President of Shinra!”

(they turks are mobbed)

Reno: *grins* “I was born to do this.” *signs autographs*

Rude: “Mmhm.”

(one kid is talking to tseng)

Kid: “Hey, Tseng? Who’s that?” *points to reeve*

Reeve: *hand to his head* “Oh man. I’m the guy who controlled Cait Sith.”

Kid: “Ew! I hate Cait Sith!”

Reeve: *sighs* “I give up.”

Rufus: *runs around, trying to get kids to like him* “Come on! I’m just as cool as they are!” *the kids all get scared of him and go off*

Sephiroth: *pants* “I never thought I’d say this, but thanks, Rufus.”

Rufus: *evil grin* “You’re welcome, *angel*.”

Sephiroth: *deadly glaze* “THAT’S *IT*! YOU’RE *SO* DEAD!” *he runs after rufus*

Rufus: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!” *turns a corner, sephy in pursuit*

Reno: *sighs* “I’m going to get him some character autographs so he doesn’t complain later.”

Rude: “Shouldn’t we save his life?”

Reno and Tseng: *shrug* “Eh.”

Irvine: “Hey, where did the girls go?”

Zell: “I think they ran off into one of the gift shops.”

Rufus’ voice: “Ow! My head!” *pause* “Ow!” *pause* “Ow!” *pause* “Ow! Please spare me!” *pause* “OW!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Zell: *goes to stand next to squall* “Heh heh. Look.” *points to his shirt*

Squall: “I’m smarter than you, idiot.”

Zell: *eyes fill with tears* “That was nasty, Squall!” *runs off*

Rufus’ voice: “Ow! Help me, Turks!” *pause* “Ow! My pretty face!” *pause* “Ow! My brilliant brain!”

Reeve: “Can’t he keep his voice down?”

Seifer: “Good, if he dies, it’s one less whiner.”

Zell: *wipes away tears* “Yeah, now all we have to do is get rid of you.”

(the girls return)

Lark: “Hey, guys! Looks like you’ve been abandoned.”

Quistis: *comes last, arms full of stuff* “Gifts for all!”

Zell: “Wow! Thanks, Instructor! You must be getting paid a lot more than I am!”

Quistis: *sweat drops* “Right. Much *much* more.”

Lark: *frowns* “Where are Rufus and Sephiroth?”

Rufus’ voice: “I’m dying! He’s killing me!” *pause* “All you Turks are fired!” *pause* “OW!”

Rude and Tseng: *shrug*

Lark: “What’s going on!?”

Irvine: “Sephiroth’s killing Rufus.”

Zell: “He called him *angel*.” *snickers*

Lark: *glares at turks* “Go help him!”

Rude and Tseng: *mumble and go off*

Noelle: “Where’s Reno?”

Reno: *returns* “Hey, sexy. I was just getting the Prez some character autographs.”

(rude and tseng return carrying a battered rufus)

Rufus: “You’re *so* fired!”

Tseng: “Are we really?”

Rufus: “……No.”

Lark: “Aw!” *hugs rufus* “My poor Rufy! What did that big, bad evil psycho do to you?”

Rufus: “He beat my head against the sidewalk in front of young children.”

Sephiroth: *comes up, wiping blood from his hands* “I fixed him good.” *grins* “If I had the masamune I would have killed him.”

Vincent: *frowns* “I’m upset with you, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: *frowns* “Huh?”

Lark: “I am *outraged* Sephiroth! Just when we were having a nice vacation, you had to go and ruin it!”

Sephiroth: “But he made fun of me!”

Lark: “So! Couldn’t you handle it maturely for once?”

Zell: “Obviously not.”

Seifer: “He’s a big baby.”

Irvine: “An ass lancing one.”

Lark: *looks upset* “I’m disappointed in you.”

Shell: “Maybe we should go back to the hotel.”

Ashley: “I think that would be best.”

Sephiroth: *stutters* “But I was just–I was just trying to…Lark!”

(they all leave mickey’s toon town fair)

Sephiroth: *hangs head* “I blew it.”


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