#30 – Theme Park Nazi’s

Rufus: “Speaking of Lark, where did she and Reno go to get the car? Wutai?! I’m wearing long sleeves here!”

Originally Published: 8/28/00 . 33 pages

Quistis scores some tickets for the gang to go to Disney World! Everyone’s excited about vacationing at the Happiest Place on Earth, but first they have to get there!

Ramble Milestones
-First vacation!
-Reeve has his first tipping issue.

According to the original note at the beginning of this ramble, going on a trip wasn’t my idea. Of course I don’t remember who did give me the idea. I definitely kicked it up a notch with the yaoi content in this ramble – between Tseng chasing after Reeve and Vincent and Sephiroth making out on the plane! I also use my magical mysterious powers to send the weapons everyone was carrying back to the ramble room from the airport. I think this was the last time I used them – thank god, because that was pretty stupid. Anyway, there are a few amusing things in this ramble, but I find it pretty blah overall. Not exactly the most exciting start to a vacation.

(lark, sephiroth, Noelle, Ashley, reno, seifer, shell, rude, cloud, rufus, irvine, rinoa, zell, squall, vincent, reeve and tseng are all in the ramble room, just hanging out. lark is playing war, the card game, with sephy, while vincent watches,  Noelle and reno are reading a magazine, Ashley and seifer are tormenting squall and rinoa, shell is painting the nails of an unhappy rude, cloud’s wandering around looking confused, rufus, irvine and zell are aruging, and reeve and tseng are talking.)

Lark: “Ha ha! Ace of hearts!”

Sephiroth: *laying down his cards* “How come I got all the twos?!”

Vincent: “Just unlucky.”

Reno: “Seventeen is my favorite magazine.” *laughs* “That rhymes!”

Noelle: “That’s a little disturbing.”

Reno: “The rhyme?”

Noelle: “No. The fact that Seventeen is your favorite magazine.”

Ashley: “Oh *yeah*! Well you’re a crack whore! You’re so ass lancing!”

Rinoa: “I don’t understand why you don’t like me.”

Seifer: “I don’t like either of you.”

Squall: “That’s cause you’re jealous of me.”

Seifer: “Am not!”

Shell: “I’m liking the black polish on you, Rude. Isn’t is sophisticated?”

Rude: *sighs unhappily* “Yes, Shell.”

Cloud: *almost bumping into a wall* “Where is this place?”

Rufus: “No, no, no! I’m telling you. *Special effects* made Mr. Ed talk.”

Irvine: “I’m with ya on that one, buddy.”

Zell: “No! I told you, the horse really moved it’s lips like that and they just dubbed the voice in!”

Rufus: “You’re crazy! No horse can do that!”

Irvine: “Better get your info from a better source, Zell.”

Zell: “I’m telling you the truth! Why would I lie?”

Tseng: “So…Reeve….where’s Bria?”

Reeve: *sighs* “She went to visit her parents in Gongaga.”

Tseng: “Oh really?” *moves closer*

(the door opens and quistis comes running in)

Quistis: “Hey, guys! Guess what!?”

(everyone looks at her silently)

Quistis: *sighs* “You’re supposed to say ‘what’!”

Everyone: *mumble things to each other*

Quistis: “Come on! I’m waiting!”

Everyone: *sighs and says unenthusiastically* “What?”

Quistis: “I scored tickets for all of us to go to Disney World!”

Lark: “REALLY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I LOVE DISNEY WORLD!”

Shell: “How many tickets do you have exactly?”

Quistis: *counts them* “Exactly enough for everyone in this room!”

Ashley: “What a coincidence!”

Noelle: “When do we leave?”

Quistis: “Tomorrow! You’re all going to come, right?”

Reno: “I’m not one to pass up a free trip!”

Zell: *fist in the air* “Let’s rock and roll, baby!”

Rinoa: “What do you say, Squall?”

Squall: *shrugs* “Whatever.”

Tseng: “You going to come along, Reeve?”

Reeve: “Why not? I’ve never been there.”

Tseng: *mutters to himself* “This is a great oppertunity…”

Reeve: “What’s that?”

Tseng: “Nothing…”

Rufus: “I better buy some sunblock. I don’t want to get burned.”

Shell: “You’ll look so cute in some Minnie Mouse ears, Rude.”

Rude: *pales* “Oh dear….”

Vincent: “This ought to be an interesting experience.”

Sephiroth: *sighs* “Isn’t it always?”

Vincent: “Of course.”

(the next morning. everyone’s gathered outside with their luggage. pretty much everyone has a small bag or two, except rufus, who’s lugging 3 huge suitcases…)

Reno: “Rufus, man! Why all the stuff? We’re only going for 3 days!”

Rufus: “Yes, well, three days is a long time! How am I supposed to know what I’ll want to wear three days from now? I had to bring basically everything with me.”

Reno: *sighs* “Why am I *not* surprised?”

Rinoa: “Hey….where are we staying when we get there anyway, Quistis?”

Quistis: “The Grand Floridian.”

Lark: “Wow! That’s the most expensive Disney hotel!”

Shell: “This is going to be a great trip! Right, Rude?”

Rude: “Uh…..right.”

Quistis: “So is everyone here?” *counts*

Ashley: “That’s everyone.”

Zell: *fist in the air* “Let’s get this party started!”

Seifer: “Shut *up* chicken wuss!”

(everyone piles into the van and off to the airport they go…)

Rinoa: “Hey, Squall…did you tell your father where you were going?”

Squall: “Yes…but Kiros was yelling at him, so we didn’t get to talk.”

Rinoa: “*Kiros* was yelling at him or *Ward* was yelling at him?”

Squall: “I get confused.”

(they arrive at the airport, get off, and go to check their luggage…)

Reeve: *whispers* “Tseng, how much are you supposed to tip the baggage handlers?”

Tseng: “I’m not sure…but if you don’t tip them enough, I heard they lose your luggage on purpose.”

Reeve: “They can’t do that!”

Tseng: *shrugs* “That’s what I heard from my friend’s cousin’s half sister’s uncle who heard it from his brother-in-law’s great grandmother’s gardener’s wife.”

Reeve: *blinks* “Oh yeah? Well I’ll have to believe that.”

(everyone checks their luggage and goes inside…tseng and reeve are last. they hesitatnly check their bags, and reeve takes out his wallet)

Reeve: “Uh….” *flips through the bills* “Um….”

Tseng: “Just give him…uh…ten?”

Reeve: “That’s not enough! If I gave you ten dollars would you be happy?”

Tseng: “If you gave me anything I’d be happy.”

Reeve: “Huh? Oh, here.” *takes out a fifty and gives it to the guy*

Guy: “Fifty bucks! Wow! Thanks, mac!”

Reeve: “You’re very welcome. See the bags get there safely now.”

(he and tseng go inside.)

Lark: “I can’t believe we’re really going to Florida!”

Sephiroth: *clears throat* “Um…Lark…can I sit next to you on the plane?”

Vincent: “But I already asked if I could sit next to you.”

Sephiroth: *turns and hisses* “They sit us three across. I’ll sit in the middle.”

Vincent: *taken back* “Very well…”

Lark: “Huh? Oh yeah, sure sweetie!” *kisses him on the cheek* “I’m so happy!”

Sephiroth: *grins* “I’m happy you’re happy.”

Zell: “How long till the flight leaves?”

Quistis: *checks the ticket* “Um….three hours.”

Everyone: *groans*

Quistis: “Well they said to get here early…”

(everyone goes to sit down in the little chairs.)

Rufus: “Hey, Reno, go buy me one of those invisible ink books.”

Reno: “What are you, five?!”

Rufus: “Come on! I’m your boss! That’s an order!”

Reno: “I don’t think that when they trained me to be a Turk they had buying you crap in mind.”

Rufus: “Go or you’re fired.”

Reno: *heaves a sigh and gets up* “Come on, Rude.”

Shell: *calling after rude* “Get me the new issue of YM while you’re there, okay?”

Zell: “Wait! You going to the gift shop? Let me come!” *runs after them*

Vincent: *flipping through the paper* “It was 92 degrees in Flordia yesterday.”

Sephiroth: *sweat drops, gulp* “92 degrees?!”

Reeve: *nervously* “I hope I tipped him enough.”

Tseng: “It was enough, Reeve.”

(meanwhile, in the gift shop)

Reno: *looking at the invisible ink books* “What does he want? Trivia for big kids or the picture ones for little kids?”

Rude: “Hmmm….tough call.”

Zell: “Ooh!! Candy! I want a Kit Kat bar. Ooh! And a Hershey bar! Oh! And a Mounds bar!” *gathers up a lot of candy*

Reno: “….cause I don’t want to get the big kid one and then he complains he wants the little kid one cause it doesn’t require any thinking.”

Rude: “I’d play it safe and buy both.”

Reno: “You’re right.” *checks the price* “Ten bucks each!? Oh man! They suck you dry before you even *get* on vacation!”

Zell: *arms full of candy* “Ooh! And Twizzlers! Oh! And I’ll need gum!…”

Rude: *gets an issue of ym* “Let’s just pay for this and get out of here.”

(they start walking towards the cashier when reno stops suddenly)

Rude: “What is it?”

Reno: “Look! They sell Playboy!” *both stare open mouthed for a minute*

Rude: “Reno…we can’t…”

Reno: “If we hide it, they never have to know. And worse case senario, we’ll tell them Rufus wanted it.” *picks it up and they go pay*

Zell: “Ooh! 5th Avenue! And Nerds! I love those things!” *his arms are overflowing with candy* “I guess I should pay for this now.”

(he goes over to the cashier who rings everything up)

Cashier: “That’ll be a 150 Gil.”

Zell: “150 GIL!? FOR CANDY?!” *grumbles as he digs the money out* “This better be the best damn candy I ever ate.” *pays and picks up his overflowing bag*

Reno: *going back to rufus* “Here you go, *sir*.”

Rufus: *happily* “Both kinds!”

Shell: “And you got me YM!” *takes the magazine* “Thanks, Rude.”

Noelle: “Reno, what’s that magazine you have?”

Reno: *shoves it under his shirt* “What magazine?”

Cloud: “Where are we going?”

Seifer: “Why did I get stuck next to him?”

Ashley: “Don’t worry, we’ll get him drunk on the plane. Then he’ll be fine.”

Quistis: “I think we should move into our boarding area.”

Noelle: “Good idea.”

Zell: *mouth full* “Hey, Squall! Want some candy?”

Squall: “Uh…..no thanks.”

(everyone gets there stuff and they move over to the metal dector. All the girls pass through without a problem. So do Reno, Rude, Tseng and Reeve.)

Rufus: *sets off the alarm* “Hey! What the hell?!”

Lark: “Do you have anything metal on you, honey?”

Rufus: *thinks* “Just my shot gun.”

Lark: “Then you have to take it off and put it in the little tray.”

Rufus: *sighs* “Okay.” *puts the gun on the tray and walks through*

Seifer: *sets off alarm* “Oh man, must be my dog collar necklace.” *takes it off and walks through, setting it off again* “Oh man! Must be my gunblade.” *takes that off and walk through without a problem*

Zell: *sets it off* “Yo?! What the–“

Lark: “Probably your gloves, dear.”

Zell: *looks down* “Oh yeah! These have metal on them!” *he takes them off and walk through without a problem*

Vincent: *sets it off* “Hm.” *takes out his gun, walks through and sets it off again* “Hm.” *looks down at his claw* “That’s a problem.”

Lark: *sweat drops, and she drags vincent over to the other side* “Heh heh…he can’t really take that off.”

Vincent: *mutters* “It’s not my fault.”

Lark: “I know, sweetie. Hojo’s a bastard.”

Sephiroth: *walks through* “Oh come on! What on me could *possibly* be metal?”

Ashley: “Uh…the masamune?”

Sephiroth: “I knew that!” *takes off the masamune, scaring the crap out of the security guard* “That should do it.” *walks through, sets if off again* “Ugh! This is so ass lancing!”

(all the girls look at Ashley)

Ashley: *sweat drops* “Who says he got that word from me?”

Sephiroth: “My whole outfit is leather and metal. You can’t expect me to take this off! It’s very complicated!”

Lark: “I told you not to wear it.”

Sephiroth: “You can’t tell me what to do, woman!”

Lark: “When we get to Florida you’re changing!”

Sephiroth: *hangs head* “Yes, ma’am.”

(they let him through)

Squall: *sets it off* “Oh damn.”

Shell: *sighs* “This is getting tedious.”

Noelle: “That’s what we get for going on vacation with a bunch of weapon carrying freaks.”

Guys: “Hey!”

Noelle: *sweat drops* “Eh heh…love you boys.”

Squall: “Think it’s the belt?”

Rinoa: “Maybe.”

Squall: *takes off the belt, walks through, but sets if off again* “The necklace?”

Rinoa: “Maybe that’s it.”

Squall: *takes it off, walk through, sets it off* “Ugh! I’m getting irritated!”

Rinoa: “Oh! Of course! The gunblade!”

Ashley: *mutters* “Stupid crack whore.”

Squall: “Right.” *takes out the gunblade and walks through without a problem*

Irvine: “Look! I’m smart!” *takes his gun out before walking through, and doesn’t set it off*

Rufus: *mutters* “He only’s smart because he learned from us.”

Cloud: “Huh?”

Noelle: “I’ll help him.” *takes cloud’s sword and he walks through without a problem*

Lark: “Now that *that’s* over with…”

Ashley: “Everyone get your weapons back.”

Security: “Are you crazy!? You can take these weapons with you! There are no weapons on the plane!”

Sephiroth: “If I had my masamune I’d kill you.”

Lark: *sweat drops* “Heh heh….she’s right, guys. You really shouldn’t carry around weapons in Disney World.”

Irvine: “What if we get attacked?! I don’t go anywhere without my gun!”

Shell: “Attacked? In Disney World?”

Lark: “We don’t need them.” *snaps her fingers and the weapons disapper* “There. I sent them back to the ramble room.”

Sephiroth: *frowns* “This sucks.”

(they all walk over to their gate.)

Reeve: “So…how long do we have to wait now?”

Quistis: *checks her watch and declares* “Only 2 1/2 more hours!”

Everyone: *groans*

(it’s 2 hours later. squall and rinoa are making out, as are reno and Noelle. shell is painting her nails while rude tries to discreetly sneak looks at the playboy magazine. rufus is working on his invisible ink book–the little kid’s one– zell is eating his candy slowly, but he’s looking pretty sick by now, cloud is drinking some scotch Ashley bought for him, Ashley and seifer are making fun of squall and rinoa, reeve is asleep, as is tseng, with his head on reeve’s shoulder, quistis is trying to steal the wallet of the guy sitting next to her, irvine is singing ‘home home on the range’ to himself, and vincent, lark and sephiroth are just talking)

Seifer: “Look at Squall. He kisses like crap.”

Ashley: “Rinoa’s just a crack whore.”

Seifer: “I could kiss better than him.”

Ashley: “Why don’t you prove it?” *wink*

(they start kissing)

Shell: “I like pink.”

Rude: *trying to sneak peeks at the centerfold* “Uh-huh…..”

Shell: “Rude, what are you doing?”

Rude: *slams the magazine shut* “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. What makes you think I was doing something?”

Shell: “If you weren’t doing anything, why are you acting so suspicous?”

Rude: *sweat drops* “Me? Suspicious? Heh heh…never….”

Rufus: *reading the directions aloud* “Find the puppy…hmmm….” *thinks*

Zell: *looking unhappily into his bag* “Uh….one more Mounds bar…” *unwraps it unhappily* “I wish I hadn’t bought all this candy…but I have to eat it all before it melts….”

Cloud: *finishes his scotch* “That was a delicious spirit.”

(the guy next to quistis is asleep)

Quistis: *hand in the guys pocket, mutters* “Just a little furthur…”

Irvine: *sings unhappily* “…Where the deer and the antelope play…”

Zell: “Hey, Irvine, you want some candy? Please?”

Irvine: “Ew! No!”

Zell: “Dammit.”

Rufus: “Where is this damn puppy!?” *bangs the book against the arm rest*

Vincent: “There won’t be many more metal dectectors, will there?”

Lark: “No, not in the theme parks.”

Sephiroth: “There are no……things that you see at the circus with the red noses, right?”

Lark: “No, sweetie.”

Sephiroth: *breathes a sigh of relief* “Good.”

Rufus: *pokes tseng* “Tseng! Wake up! Help me with this!”

Tseng: *stirs* “Rufus…I was having such a nice dream.”

Rufus: “Find the puppy!”

Tseng: *looks at it* “Rufus….just color the whole thing with the marker.”

Rufus: “Oh…that’s how you do it?”

Tseng: “Yeah…”

Rufus: “No. Right. I knew that. You can go back to sleep now.”

Annoucer: “Flight 287 to Orlando Florida is now boarding from Gate 23.”

Quistis: *gets the wallet* “Finally.”

Rinoa: *breaking away from squall* “Yeah, it was a long wait, wasn’t it?”

Quistis: “Huh?” *sweat drops, hides wallet* “Oh yeah. Really long wait.”

Lark: “Oh man…I hate to fly.”

Sephiroth: “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

Cloud: “Why hello there, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: “Who screwed you up?”

Cloud: “I just had some scotch.”

Sephiroth: “That explains it.”

(they all get on the plane. okay, i’m going to tell you how everyone is sitting, starting with the window on the left side of the plane and going out to the aisle. reno, Noelle and cloud, with Ashley and seifer across. in front of them are lark, sephiroth and vincent, with tseng and reeve across the aisle, in front of them are irvine, zell and rufus with rude and shell across the aisle, in front of them are rinoa, squall and quistis.)

Zell: “Uh…..no more candy….”

Rufus: *inching away* “How did *he* get stuck in the middle?”

Irvine: *inching away* “I don’t know!”

Cloud: “Hmmm….I seem to recall that I get motion sick.”

Reno: *glares at Noelle* “Thanks a lot, Noelle.”

Noelle: “Hey! I’m the one in the middle here!”

Cloud: “Maybe if I read something–“

Noelle: “No! Don’t even think about it!”

Lark: “I don’t like planes…”

Sephiroth: “Oh come on! It’s not going to crash!” *pause* “Unless the engine fails or something…” *thinks* “Yeah…I guess that could happen…”

Lark: *panics* “It could?!”

Vincent: “Angel!”

Sephiroth: “What? Oh! Sorry.” *glares at vincent* “And don’t call me that.”

(quistis is going through the wallet she stole)

Rinoa: “What’s that, Quistis?”

Quistis: “Huh?” *looks up* “Oh…this? I found it on the ground. There’s no identification.” *hides the drivers’ liscense behind her back*

Rinoa: “Oh. That’s too bad.”

Squall: “Is there any money in it?”

Rinoa: “Squall! That’s horrible!” *pause* “Is there?”

Quistis: “A thousand bucks!”

Rinoa: “All right!”

Squall: *shocked* “Rinoa!”

Rinoa: “What?”

Reeve: “I’m still worried that I didn’t tip that guy enough…”

Tseng: “Come on, Reeve. How much do you think he was expecting? Your whole paycheck?”

Reeve: “Maybe you’re right…I should have given him my whole paycheck.”

Tseng: “That’s not what I said.”

Pilot: “Attention passengers. Flight 287 to Orlando Florida will be leaving now. Please make sure your seat belts are fastened.”

Noelle: “Here we go!!”

Reno: “It’s gonna be a blast!”

Cloud and Zell: “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Noelle, Reno, Irvine and Rufus: “Aw, sh*t.”

Lark: “I hope it doesn’t crash….”

(an hour or so into the fight….the stewardess is coming around with the beverage cart.)

Stewardess: “Would you like a drink?”

Reno: “Yeah, a beer.”

Noelle: “Me too.”

Cloud: “I’ll have a scotch on the rocks.”

Ashley: “Easy on the booze, Cloud. I don’t want you to die of alchohol posioning!”

Reno: “There ain’t no such thing! You made that up, Ashley.”

Ashley: “I did not!”

Seifer: “Yeah, she did not!” *whispers* “Did you?”

Ashley: “No!”

Stewardess: *moves up to the next aisle* “Would you like something to drink?”

Lark: “Yeah. Better get me something hard.”

Sephiroth: “I agree. Get her the strongest drink you have.”

Vincent: “Angel, are you trying to get her drunk?”

Sephiroth: *sweat drops* “No….and don’t call me that!”

Reeve: “I think I need some coffee to relax me.”

Tseng: “Coffee is not going to relax you.”

Reeve: “Well I’m not allowed to smoke on the plane!”

Tseng: “Reeve, would you relax?! Nothing bad is going to happen to the bags!”

Stewardess: *turns to them* “Would you like anything?”

Tseng: “Do you have any sleeping pills?”

Reeve: “Ha ha. Very funny.”

Stewardess: *moves up to the next aisle* “Would you like anything to drink?”

Irvine: “I’ll have a tequila.”

Zell: “You don’t happen to have any Pepto Bismal, do you?”

Stewardess: “No….”

Zell: “Dammit…”

Rufus: “Um….I think I’ll have a brandy.”

Rude: “I thought you didn’t like to drink too often, Rufus.”

Rufus: “I think I’m going to need it.”

Lark: *downs her liquor* “Ah.”

Sephiroth: “Better?”

Lark: “Kind of.” *she looks at sephy and vincent who are staring at her and smiles* “Know what would make me feel ever better?”

Sephiroth: “What?”

Lark: *snuggles up to sephy and whispers something in his ear*

Sephiroth: *pales* “I won’t do that, woman! Not not on a croweded plane!”

Vincent: “What? Do what?”

Lark: *frowns* “Make out with you.”

Vincent: “Oh.” *hangs head*

Lark: “Come on, Sephy-sama!”

Sephiroth: “Everyone will make fun of me!”

Vincent: *quietly* “Sephiroth doesn’t love me any more.”

Sephiroth: “That’s not true!” *claps a hand over his mouth*

Lark: “See! Come on! Please! It would distract me!”

Sephiroth: *quietly* “Okay….but *you* sit on the aisle and don’t let anyone see!”

Lark: *happily* “Yay! All right!” *she and vincent switch places*

Vincent: “I love you, angel.”

Sephiroth: *shlyly* “I know…love you too…now save it for later.” *kisses vincent*

Rinoa: “So, what are you going to do with that money, Quistis?”

Quistis: “Oh…I don’t know…buy some new glasses I think. I’m sick of these frames.”

Squall: “Why don’t you get contacts?”

Quistis: *bats eyelashes* “Why, Squall? Do you think that I’d look prettier without the glasses?”

Rinoa: *frowns* “I thought we talked about you hitting on Squall, Quistis.”

Quistis: *mutters* “You *are* a crack whore.”

Rinoa: “What was that?”

Quistis: *innocently* “Nothing….”

Seifer: *pulls out a book on disney world* “Look what I got!”

Ashley: “Ooh! Let me look at it with you!”

Seifer: “I already have our whole touring plan planned out.”

Ashley: “Huh?”

Seifer: “Let me explain it to you….”

Ashley: *sweat drops* “Okay…”

Rude: *trying to sneak a peek at playboy* “Oh…..yeah….”

Shell: “Rude, what are you looking at?”

Rude: *slams it shut* “Nothing.”

Shell: *leans over and grabs it* “Playboy?! Rude! I don’t believe it!”

Rude: *sweat drops* “It’s Reno’s.”

Shell: “You know, I can’t believe you bought this and didn’t buy me a Playgirl!”

Rude: *confused and shocked* “Huh?”

Shell: *hands it back* “Well next time you know better.”

Rude: *puts it away* “Yeah….” *stares lovingly at her*

Reeve: *downing his second cup of coffee* “See….this is much much better…”

Tseng: *frowns* “I still think that’s the last thing you need.”

Reeve: *listens for a moment, then looks across the aisle* “What’s going on over there? Do you hear moaning?”

(they both look over, but Lark’s turned and looking towards the window, blocking their whole view)

Sephiroth: “Shush…Vincent! You’re being too loud!”

Vincent: “Sorry….”

Tseng: *taps lark on the shoulder* “Um…Lark?”

Lark: *doesn’t turn around* “What?”

Tseng: “What’s going on over there?”

Lark: *turns around for a moment* “Here, Tseng, you’ll appreciate this. I have Sephiroth and Vincent making out!”

Tseng: *nervous laughter* “Me?! Heh heh…why would I be interested in that?” *sweat drops. he turns around and speaks really fast to reeve* “Hey, Reeve!” *points out the window* “Look at that!”

Reeve: “Huh?” *looks out the window* “Clouds?”

Tseng: *turns back to lark and whispers* “Can I watch too?”

Lark: “Sure!”

(tseng leans across the aisle and watches too)

Reeve: *looks back* “They’re just clouds, Tseng.” *looks at tseng in confusion* “Tseng? What are you looking at?”

Tseng: *doesn’t turn around* “Nothing….you just keep drinking that coffee.”

Reeve: *shrugs* “Okay. I’m glad you’re finally admitting that it’s helping me.” *hand shakes*

Reno: *mutters* “Alcohol posioning….that’s just crap.”

Noelle: “Reno, would you let it go? You’ve been mumbling about it for ten minutes!”

Reno: *mutters* “Alcohol can’t kill you.”

Noelle: “Well, are you going to finish your beer?”

Reno: *pushes it away* “No.”

Noelle: “All right.” *drinks it down*

Zell: “Uh….I really feel sick….”

Irvine: “Zell, if you throw up, I’ll kill you.”

Rufus: “If he throws up, I’ll throw up.”

Irvine: “Oh no! You’re one of those people?”

Rufus: “One of *those* people? What’s *that* supposed to mean?!”

Irvine: “All right, let’s not start fighting. We’re supposed to be having fun.”

Rufus: *mutters* “Fun, fun, fun. Yay, hooray, hoorah.”

Quistis: *gets up and peeks at them over her seat* “Hey! Do I sense that you’re not having fun?! I went through a lot of trouble to ste–er…buy these tickets!”

Irvine and Rufus: *mutters* “Sorry.”

Zell: “I can’t take this!” *runs off to the bathroom*

Rufus: *sigh of relief* “At least he didn’t puke in front of us.”

Irvine: “Here, move in and make him sit on the end.”

Zell: *returns, smiling* “I feel a lot better now.”

Seifer: “…..so that’s it. What do you think?”

Ashley: *half asleep* “Huh?”

Seifer: “What do you think of my touring plan?”

Ashley: “Oh. It’s really….really….good.”

Seifer: *grins* “I knew you’d like it!”

(finally, the plane lands, much to lark’s relief, and to sephiroth’s too…somewhat. they all get off and step into the airport)

Lark: “Ah. I’m so glad to be back on the ground.”

Reeve: “Let’s get our bags.” *shakes*

Tseng: “Yes. Let’s get our bags before Reeve has a heart attack.”

Rufus: *holding his invisible ink book* “I didn’t get to finish it…” *frowns*

Zell: *tear in his eye as he holds his candy bag over the garbage* “You betrayed me, candy! That’s 150 Gil down the drain! I could have upgraded my weapon!” *drops it in the garbage*

Rude: “Can I get you anything, Shell?” *follows her closely*

Shell: *a little freaked* “Uh….no…that’s ok, Rude.”

Seifer: “Hurry up! We have to get to the theme parks!”

Quistis: “We have to check into the hotel first, Seifer.”

Seifer: “Shut up, Instructor! You’re not the boss of me!”

Rinoa: “Let’s not fight.”

Ashley: “Shut up, crack whore! You’re so ass lancing!”

Reeve: “Come on! Our *lugguage*!”

(they all head to the baggage claim area)

Lark: “The luggage always takes forever to come at this airport.”

Shell: “Tell me about.”

Rude: “I’ll get the bags, Shell. You rest.”

Shell: *sits down* “Don’t have to tell me twice.” *pulls out a emery board*

(reeve is standing with tseng right where the bags come out, watching each one as they go by)

Reeve: “Not mine….not mine…not mine….not mine….not mine…”

Tseng: “I think you’ve become a bit obsessive over this, Reeve.”

Reeve: “I don’t see mine!”

Tseng: “Reeve, 5 bags went by. Calm down. I’m sure they’re in there.”

Sephiroth: *wipes brow* “I’m melting already!”

Lark: *giggles* “We going to have liquid Sephiroth soon?”

Sephiroth: *glares* “Not funny, woman!”

Seifer: “I’ll get our bags, Ashley!” *goes off*

Ashley: *quietly* “Guys…I’m scared of Seifer.”

Noelle: “Why? Cause he’s a crazy, gunblade waving, disobedient Sorceress’ Knight?”

Ashley: “No….he already has the *whole* trip planned out.”

Shell: *filing nails* “You mean he’s a theme park nazi.”

Ashley: “A what?”

Shell: *looks up* “A theme park nazi. You know, someone who is obsessed with getting up early so they don’t have to wait on any lines. They drag you up at the crack of the dawn and lead you around the park at break neck speed. My sister is one. Self proclaimed actually.”

Ashley: “Lark is one too?!”

Rinoa: *coming over* “What are you guys talking about?”

Ashley: *snaps* “How much we hate you.”

Rinoa: *eyes narrow* “Well I’ve never been too found of you either, skank!”

Ashley: *gasps* “I perfer morally leniant!”

Rinoa: “Too bad, skank!”

Ashley: *advancing on her* “Say that to my face!”

Rinoa: “SKANK!”

Ashley: “CRACK WHORE!”

Rinoa: “*STUPID* SKANK!”

Ashley: “That’s it!” *smacks rinoa*

(a cat fight breaks out….)

Reno: *eyes light up* “Hey! Look! A cat fight!” *runs over*

Rude: “Mm. Must get bags…” *eyes focused on the baggage carousel*

Irvine: “A cat fight! All right!”

Seifer: “Hey, Squall, your girlfriend and my girlfriend are fighting.”

Squall: *shrugs* “Whatever.”

(the guys have gathered around as Ashley and rinoa pull at each others hair)

Lark: “What the hell is going on over there?”

Vincent: “I believe that Ashley and Rinoa are fighting.”

Lark: “Oh no!” *runs over* “Shell! Why didn’t you stop this?!”

Shell: *looks up from her nails* “Huh?”

Lark: *stepping between the guys to break up rinoa and Ashley* “All right, all right! Break it up!” *stands between the two girls, who are still trying to get at each other*

Ashley: “WHORE!”

Rinoa: “SKANK!”

Lark: *yells* “STOP IT!” *everyone shuts up* “Now come on, guys! This is supposed to be fun! You know a *vacation*! No more fighting!”

Rinoa: *mutters* “Fine…”

Ashley: “For now….”

Lark: “Good.” *looks at the guys* “All right. Show’s over, boys. Go get the bags.”

Irvine: “Aw! Why’d you have to break them up, Lark?”

Lark: *pats him on the cheek* “It’s cause I love ya, babe.”


Reeve: “Not mine….not mine…..not mine….”

Tseng: “Can you stop doing that? It’s making me nervous!”

Reeve: *jaw drops and he points to the carousel* “I’ve seen that blue bag before! I’ve seen it!”

Tseng: “So what, Reeve? They’re probably still unpacking stuff. No one’s probably claimed that one yet.”

(one by one, all the characters get their bags and go sit down. everyone by tseng and reeve that is. all the other characters have sat down and are waiting.)

Noelle: “Um…..why are we still here?”

Rufus: “Their bags haven’t come out yet.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah, but the only thing that’s been circling around for the last five minutes is that box with DANGER written all over it.”

Lark: “For the *third* time, is everyone sure that’s not theirs?”

Everyone: “Yes.”

Reeve: *quietly* “…….Tseng?”

Tseng: *quietly* “Yes, Reeve.”

Reeve: “Our bags aren’t here….are they?”

Tseng: “……………………………………………………………………………no.”

Reeve: *starts crying* “I knew I should have tipped them more!”

Tseng: *hugs reeve* “It’s okay, Reeve. We’ll find the bags.”

Lark: *comes over* “What’s wrong?”

Tseng: *whispers* “He’s a little upset our bags aren’t here.”

Lark: “Oh…..well that happened to my family once too, Reeve. Why don’t you just tell them, and when they find the bags they’ll send them to the hotel, okay?”

Reeve: *wipes his eyes* “Okay.”

Lark: *smiles* “Good. Now while you two are doing that, we’ll go get the rental car.”

(lark and reno go to get the rental car)

Lark: “Is something wrong, Reno? You seem kind of down. Is it because I broke up the cat fight?”

Reno: “No.”

Lark: “Then what is it?”

Reno: “Lark…..is there such thing as alchohol posioning?”

Lark: “Yeah, sure. Why?”

Reno: *gulp* “No reason.”

(they step up to the counter)

Lark: “Hi, we have a reservation for a rental car.”

Rental Car Person: “Under what name?”

Lark: “Swanson.”

Rental Car Person: “Okay. I’ll be right back.” *goes in the back*

Lark: *turns to reno* “I don’t know why Quistis made our reservation under Swanson.”

Reno: “Is she in the Witness Protection Program?”

Lark: “No…”

Reno: “Then I don’t get it either.”

Rental Car Person: *comes back* “Okay, we have your car ready for you. Space number 69.”

Lark: “Okay, thank you.”

(they walk outside)

Reno: “Hey….69…that’s my lucky number. I bet it’s a kick ass car!”

(they come to space 69. it’s a white van. around it are about a million other white vans)

Lark: “Aw, sh*t.”

Reno: *sweat drops* “Guess the car won’t be too easy to find….”

(meanwhile….tseng and reeve are sitting in the security office)

Security Guy: “And what did the bags look like, sir?”

Reeve: “Um…it was a blue suitcase.”

Tseng: “Mine was black.”

Security Guy: “Do you have your baggage claim tickets?”

Reeve: “Of course!” *hands them to the guy*

Security Guy: “Okay then, when we find them we’ll send them to your hotel.”

Reeve: “Are you sure you’ll find them?”

Security Guy: “Yes, sir. Like I said they were probably just left behind by accident.”

Reeve: “Are you really sure?”

Security Guy: “Yes.”

Reeve: “A hundred *percent* sure?”

Tseng: “Reeve! Leave the man alone! He’ll find the bags!”

Reeve: *sighs* “You’re right. Thank you.”

(they leave the office)

Reeve: “Maybe if I gave him a thousand dollars…”

Tseng: *hits himself in the forehead*

(meanwhile….the rest of the gang is standing outside when tseng and reeve arrive.)

Sephiroth: *panting* “I’m hot.” *he grabs irvine’s hat and starts fanning himself with it*

Irvine: “Hey! Get your sweaty hands off my hat!” *grabs it back*

Cloud: “Sephiroth, that was not a nice thing to do.”

Sephiroth: “Neither would be slamming you into the ground.” *raises fist*

Cloud: “Now, now. Violence is not the answer.” *backs up*

Vincent: “Ang–er…Sephiroth, be nice. You heard what Lark said. No fighting when we’re on vaction.”

Rufus: “Speaking of Lark, where did she and Reno go to get the car? Wutai?! I’m wearing long sleeves here!”

Sephiroth: “At least you’re wearing white!”

(the car comes around the corner, reno driving. he beeps the horn)

Noelle: “Yay! Reno’s driving!”

Zell: “Let’s get this party started!”

Seifer: “Shut *up*, chicken wuss!”

(all pile into the van)

Quistis: “You know how to get to the hotel, right, Reno?”

Reno: *grins* “Sure! No problem! Oh, but there’s one problem with the car. Since it was cheap, there’s no air conditioning.”

Rufus and Sephiroth: “WHAT?!”

Quistis: *mutters* “Cheap old bastards.”

Rinoa: “Aw, come on guys. It’s not such a long ride and Reno knows where he’s going! We’ll be there before you know it!”

(2 hours later…everyone’s in the car, glaring, arms crossed at reno. finally, he stops the car at a gas station and turns around with a guilty smile)

Reno: “Heh heh….so we’re lost.”

Sephiroth: *soaking in sweat* “I’ll kill you!!” *chokes reno*

Reno: *gasps* “Lark! Help!”

Lark: *glares * “In a minute, Mr. ‘I know exactly where I’m going’. In a minute.”

Seifer: “Let me drive! I know exactly where I’m going!” *pushes reno out of the seat and climbs in*

Zell: “Oh no! Don’t let him drive! Remember how he drove on the way to Balamb for the SeeD exam?”

Squall: *gulp* “Yeah….”

Seifer: “Everyone hold on!” *he steps on the gas and the car jerks down the road*

(after what seemed like forever, but only cause seifer’s driving sucked, they arrived at the hotel.)


Lark: “I told you not to wear that. Maybe next time you’ll listen to me, huh?”

Sephiroth: *quietly* “Maybe…”

Quistis: “I’ll go check in. You guys….” *looks at them, all looking exhausted and sweaty* “Just stay here out of everyone’s way.”

Shell: “We better be able to check right in.”

Noelle: “I bet you we don’t.”

Shell: “You’re on.” *they shake on it*

Irvine: “If we don’t check right in I’m drowning myself in the pool.”

Sephiroth: “At least you have your hat to fan yourself with!”

Quistis: *returns* “All right, we’re all checked in.”

Shell: “Ha ha! I win!”

Noelle: *mumbles* “It was rigged.”

Quistis: “We have 8 rooms…so some of us are going to have to triple up. But we do have king sized beds.”

Reno: “I can think of a lot of things to do with that.” *winks at Noelle*

Noelle: “Me and Reno get a room!”

Rinoa: “Same with me and Squall!”

Ashley: *glaring at rinoa* “Me and Seifer get one.”

Rude: “And me and Shell!”

Quistis: “All right…I’ll share with Cloud…since no one seems to want to.”

Cloud: “I’m too dignified for any of them.”

Reeve: “I’ll share with Tseng.”

Tseng: *gulp* “Really?”

Reeve: “Yeah, it’s only one bed, but we’re both guys. It’s not like anything is going to happen.”

Tseng: *sweat drops* “Right…”

Quistis: *looks at rufus, zell, irvine, sephy, lark and vincent* “How about you guys?”

Rufus: “Come on, Lark! Come share with me and Irvine!”

Lark: “Uh….”

Zell: “Why would she want to share with you losers when she could share with me!”

Irvine: “Come on, Lark. It’ll be fun!” *wink*

Lark: “Um….”

Vincent: “You could stay with Sephiroth and me if you’d like. Sephiroth wouldn’t mind. Would you, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: *smiling widely* “Uh…no! No! Not at all!”

Lark: “Hmmm…this is hard….but I guess I’ll go with Sephy and Vincent.”

Rufus: “What?!”

Lark: “Sorry, boys. But you guys could all room together.”

(rufus, irvine and zell look at each other)

Rufus: “Ugh.” *crosses arms and turns away*

Irvine: *unhappily* “Great.”

Zell: “It’s not *that* bad you guys.”

Quistis: “All right. Here are your keys. We’ll meet in here tomorrow at 6 A.M to go to the Magic Kingdom, okay?”

Everyone: “All right.”

(everyone leaves the lobby except zell, irvine and rufus)

Irvine: “Well Sephiroth has his own private paradise now.”

Zell: “How’s that?”

Irvine: “He’s got his girl *and* his guy in his room!”

Rufus: *mutters* “Lucky bastard. Look what *we’ve* got.”

Zell: “Come on! It won’t be so bad! It’s like a slumber party!”

Irvine and Rufus: *groan and look at each other*


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