#29 – Too Much of a Good Thing

Seifer: “Yeah…unless we took a magic, haunted bus and somehow ended up in hell!”

Reno and Noelle invite the gang out for a night of fun at a club. When the booze starts flowing, plenty of things are about to go wrong!

Ramble Milestones
-Lizzie and Laguna get together.
-Rude displays his talent for gambling.

The original note at the end of this ramble was ‘sorry this one sucks’! Yeah, I don’t consider this one of my best rambles, but I enjoy the Seifer line quoted above if nothing else. Also, I can totally see Reno getting a tattoo of someone’s name on his butt. This ramble is mostly just another party ramble, but at least it had Laguna in it for a change!

(sephiroth, lark, rufus, irvine, zell, Noelle, reno, Ashley, seifer, shell, rude, Katie and Lizzie are all in the ramble room. Noelle sits on reno’s lap, seifer and Ashley are flirting in one corner, shell is painting rude’s nails, lark is at the table playing cards with sephy, rufy, irvy and zell, and Lizzie and Katie are on the couch looking bored)

Noelle: “I really had fun at that club last night, Reno.”

Reno: “Yeah! We really go smashed, didn’t we?!”

Noelle: “I couldn’t even see straight!”

Seifer: “So then I said to Squall, ‘oh yeah? Well your girlfriend is a crack whore’!”

Ashley: *laughs* “You’re so witty, Seifer.”

Shell: “Now, Rude, you have to stop moving or I’ll mess up.”

Rude: *frowns and mumbles* “Yes, Shell.”

Lark: “Whoo hoo! I win! Take if off, boys!”

(the guys grumble and they all strip down to the waist.)

Lark: “I like this game!”

Rufus: “Of course you do! So far you’ve won every round!”

Zell: “I’m running out of clothes!”

Lark: “Well I can’t help it!”

Irvine: “I agreed to play strip poker cause I thought *you* were going to be the one takin’ stuff off! Not us!”

Sephiroth: *mutters* “Me too.”

Lark: “Who knows?! I might lose this round!” *grins as she shuffles*

Rufus: “I think you’re cheating.”

Lark: *sweat drops* “No….”

Rufus: “Then let me shuffle.”

Lark: *hesitates, but then hands them over* “Fine.”

Lizzie: *sighs* “This sucks.”

Katie: “What does?”

Lizzie: “The fact that we don’t have guys here!”

Katie: “I don’t need one. I have Trowa.”

Lizzie: “I don’t have anyone from that show either!”

Katie: *frowns* “Oh. Well look over there. Sephiroth’s shirtless.”

Lizzie: *looks* “Yeah…he’s hot, but I need a guy.”

Katie: “Why don’t you talk to Lark about it?”

Lizzie: “Maybe I will….”

Rufus: “Ha ha! I won! Strip you guys!”

Zell: “Do we have to?”

Irvine: “You want to see us in our boxers?”

Lark: *takes off the shirt she was wearing over her tank top* “Rules are rules.”

(mumbling, zell and irvine get down to their boxers)

Rufus: “Come on, ‘Roth. No exceptions.”

Sephiroth: “I am *not* taking my pants off.”

Zell: “Come on! We did!”

Irvine: “It’s no fair if you don’t!” *grins* “Why, you got something to be ashamed of?” *winks*

Rufus: *laughs* “I bet he’s wearing smiley faced boxers or something!”

Sephiroth: “Look, I don’t wear anything under these pants. They’re skin tight, so I can’t…” *looks embarrassed.”

Rufus: “…..oh.”

Lark: “Well…”

Irvine: “Now…what?”

Zell: “Take them off anyway!”

Everyone else: “Zell!”

Zell: “What? I thought that was the purpose of strip poker! Aren’t you supposed to end up naked?”

Lark: “Hey, I’m not running a porn business here. Game’s over. I win.”

Sephiroth: *sigh of relief* “Good.”

Reno: “Hey, Rude. Noelle and I are going to a club. You and Shell wanna come too?”

Rude: *goes to speak*

Shell: *cuts him off* “Sure! We’d love to! Rude could show off his nails!”

(they leave)

Rufus: “Wait a minute, Reno! I didn’t give you the night off!” *runs after them*

Seifer: “Hey, Ashley, how ’bout you and me go make fun of Rinoa right now?!”

Ashley: “Sure!”

(they leave)

Zell: “Hey! Come on, Irvine! We’ve gotta help Rinoa!”

Irvine: “Let’s roll.”

(they run out)

Katie: *whispers to Lizzie* “Now’s your chance.” *she leaves*

Lizzie: *going over to lark* “Hey, Lark, can I talk to you a minute?”

Lark: “‘Course!” *looks at sephy* “Sephy-sama, do you think you could disappear for awhile?”

Sephiroth: *plops down on the couch and lays down* “Just pretend I’m not here.”

Lark: *sighs* “Do you mind he’s here?”

Lizzie: “Nah.”

Lark: “So what’s up?”

Lizzie: *clears throat* “Well….it seems every girl here has a FF guy or a GW guy.”

Lark: *laughs* “Or one of each!” *pause* “At least…”

Lizzie: “I don’t have either.”

Lark: *goes to talk, but shuts her mouth and thinks a minute* “You’re right.” *pause* “That blows. I have to find you someone! Let’s see….Rufus and Zell are mine…Irvine’s everyone’s….Sephy’s…no one’s but…he’s a pain anyway…”

Sephiroth: “Hey!”

Lark: “You said to pretend like you weren’t here!” *sighs* “Anyway…who else? Seifers got it bad for Ashley, my sister likes to keep Rude around, and Noelle will kill anyone who looks at Reno the wrong way. Squall’s got Rinoa, Reeve’s got Bria, and Cloud’s got Tifa…even if he doesn’t know it…Barret and Cid are not exactly boyfriend material. Vincent’s—“

Sephiroth: *coughs loudly and glares*

Lark: “Um…outta the picture. Tseng’s gay, Red’s a cat/dog, Kiros is a big no and Ward’s not your type, so that leaves—“

(the door opens and someone stumbles in)

????: “Hey hey! I’m President of Esthar!”

Lark: “Laguna!”

Lizzie: *gulp* “Laguna?”

Sephiroth: *snickers* “Oh please.”

Lark: “What’s up, Laguna?”

Laguna: “Not much. Have you seen Kiros or Ward? Kiros said Ward said they were going to beach, but they didn’t invite me! Or have you seen Squall? I haven’t seen my little boy in so long!”

Lark: “Nope, sorry. Hey, Laguna, you know my friend Lizzie, right?”

Laguna: “Sure!” *extends hand* “Hey hey! Laguna Loire, President of Esthar!”

Lizzie: *hesitates* “I know.” *goes to shake his hand but is surprised when he kisses it*

Lark: “You know, Laguna, if you’re not doing anything tomorrow night, maybe you’d like to go out with Lizzie somewhere.”

Lizzie: *glares and hisses quietly* “Lark!”

Laguna: “Hey hey! That’d be great! I’ll come by around seven, okay? Right now I’m gonna keep searching. See ya tomorrow!” *he waves and leaves*

Lizzie: “Lark! You set me up with Squall’s *dad*?!”

Lark: “What? He’s cute! Plus, Laguna’s a great guy.”

Lizzie: “He’s kinda old.”

Lark: “You go for older guys.”

Lizzie: “……so what?”

Lark: “Come on! You’ll have fun!”

Lizzie: *sighs* “I guess…”

Lark: “Great!”

Sephiroth: *snorts*

Lark: *grins fakely and lifts her leg back so she can kick sephy*

Sephiroth: *grabs his leg* “Ow! That hurt, woman!”

Lark: *innocent smile*

(the next day…lark and sephy wait with Lizzie in the ramble room)

Sephiroth: “You know you’re about to date a dumb, obnoxious klutz, right?”

Lark: “Don’t listen to him. He’s not dumb. And he’s not obnoxious….” *glares at sephy* “Unlike *someone* I know.”

Sephiroth: “Silence, woman!”

Lizzie: *nervously* “But he is a klutz?”

Lark: *sweat drops* “What’s coordination in true love?”

Sephiroth: “I can kill 5 people before they hit the ground.” *lark elbows him* “Ow!”

(the door opens and laguna runs in)

Laguna: “Hey hey! The President of Esthar has arrived!”

Sephiroth: *mumbles* “Should we start the parade now or later?”

Laguna: “Hiya, Lark. Good evening, Lizzie.”

Lizzie: “Hey, Laguna.”

Laguna: “So where we off to tonight?”

Lizzie: “I….uh…have no idea.”

Laguna: *frowns and pats his sides* “And me without a map…”

(the door opens and there’s reno, Noelle, rude, shell, Ashley and seifer)

Reno: “Hey guys! ‘Sup?! We’re headin’ over to that kick ass club again! Wanna come?”

Noelle: “It’s a blast!”

Lark: *pushing laguna and Lizzie forward* “Great! Go ahead and have fun you two!”

Ashley: “The more the merrier!”

Reno: “Coming, Lark?”

Lark: “I would but I don’t have a–” *turns around and nearly rams right into sephy* “…date…”

Sephiroth: *sighs* “Do I sense a solution to your dilemma?”

Lark: “Come on! *Please* Sephy?” *bats eyelashes*

Sephiroth: “Fine…”

Reno: “All right! Let’s go! Everyone into the party mobile!”

(they start to head out)

Seifer: “Party mobile is really lame, Reno.”

Reno: “Shut up, Seifer, or you won’t even get *near* the party mobile!”

(the club is packed, the music is loud, and the lights are really flashy. the group enters, girls clad in slutty clubbing outfits)

Laguna: “Hey hey! Look at all these people!”

Shell: “It was *more* crowded lost night!” *looks rude over and gasps* “Rude! Did you take your nail polish off?”

Rude: *sweat drops* “Um….yes….”

Shell: *pretends to wipe a tear from her eye* “You’ve really hurt my feelings!!”

Rude: “I’m sorry. Don’t cry.”

Shell: “Will you put it back on when we get home?”

Rude: *heaves a sigh* “Fine…”

Reno: “Less talkin’, more drinkin’!” *puts an arm around Noelle* “Right, sexy?”

Noelle: *giggles* “Right on!”

(they head for the bar)

Seifer: “Come on, Ashley. I’ll buy you a drink.”

Ashley: “All right.”

(they go for the bar too)

Shell: *pulling rude towards the bar* “Come on, Rude! Stop dragging behind!”

Rude: “….yes, Shell.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! You want something to drink, Lizzie?”

Lizzie: *nods* “Yeah. Something hard.”

(they go off to the bar too. lark and sephiroth look at each other)

Lark: “This is weird…”

Sephiroth: “….yeah…”

Lark: “I’m not really much of a drinker.”

Sephiroth: “You were that time we played ‘I’ve Never’.”

Lark: “Well that was a game!”

Sephiroth: “You also were in the limo after the anime awards.”

Lark: *blushes* “Well….”

Sephiroth: “So…do you want something or not?”

Lark: “Why not? I’ll end up drinking anyway, so why not get started now?”

Sephiroth: “That’s the spirit!” *evil smile*

(and so they all go off to drink. and they drink and draik and drink, even though they really shouldn’t because most of them are underage. And between drinking they dance…but Lizzie isn’t doing as much drinking as she would like…)

Lizzie: “Why can’t I have another?”

Laguna: “Well, you’re the same age as my son, and I would never let him drink too much. Then he might do things he wouldn’t normally do.”

Lizzie: “Doesn’t it creep you out that you’re dating someone the same age as your son?”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Let’s not get technical!”


Seifer: *slurs* “Hey, Ashley….you’re really hot….”

Ashley: *slurs* “Yeah, you’re really hot too Ssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiifffffeeeeerrrr….” *stumbles*

Seifer: “What do you say we get in the party mobile and drive to a party of our own, huh?” *stumbles with a wink*

Reno: “You people aren’t taking my car in your condition! You’re drunk, and friends don’t let friends….uh…whatever. The point is you drunks are not driving my car.”

Seifer: *slurs* “Aw….sh*t….”

Ashley: “What-” *hiccup* “Now?”

Seifer: *finger in the air* “I know! We’ll take the…thing…with wheels…”

Ashley: “Plane?”

Noelle: “You mean the bus?”

Seifer: “Yeah….thas it….”

Ashley: “Well what are we waiting for?” *they stumble  out the door*

Reno: *sighs* “Some people just don’t know how to hold their liquor.”

Noelle: “Nope.”

(some time later…)

Laguna: “So…are you having fun?”

Lizzie: *chugging down a coke* “I guess…”

Bartender: *to rude* “That’ll be twenty bucks, sir.”

Rude: *a little tipsy, he takes out his wallet and drops it on the bar. bills fly everywhere.* “…oh…damnnnn…”

Shell: *dollar signs in eyes* “Rude! I didn’t know you were loaded!”

Rude: *shrugs as he pays* “Yeah….”

Bartender: “You gave me 200. I said 20.”

Rude: *shrugs* “Keep it.”

Shell: “I have a great idea of what we can do with that money!”

Rude: “What?”

Shell: *grabs his wrist and leads him out the door* “You know there’s this casino on the outskirts of town…”

Reno: “I’m not getting drunk enough!”

Noelle: “Me neither!”

Reno: “Bartender, bring us the hardest stuff ya got!”

Noelle: “Now you’re talkin!”

(some time later….Lizzie and laguna return from the dance floor)

Lizzie: *grins* “Well that was pretty fun! I didn’t know you could dance, Laguna! I thought you were a total klutz!”

Laguna: “Yeah, well, I listen to music a lot. I love it.”

Lizzie: “Me too!”

Reno: *slams down his glass* “I’ll take anotherrrrr hittt….”

Noelle: *tries to stay awake* “Yeah….”

Bartender: “I think you two have finally had enough.”

Reno: “Maybe you’re right…”

Noelle: “Let’s go somewhere more fun.”

(they stumble out. meanwhile…)

Lark: *half drunk, sighs* “Well…”

Sephiroth: *slumped over his drink, half drunk* “Well….”

Lark: “How come you don’t say too much to me when we’re alone?”

Sephiroth: *shrugs* “Cause…”

Lark: “Cause *what*?”

Sephiroth: “Cause….” *whispers* “I really like you.”

Lark: “Huh?” *leans in* “I can’t hear you over this music!”

Sephiroth: *looks up at her* “Nothing.”

Lark: *frowns* “See! This is what I mean!”

Sephiroth: “What?”

Lark: *pushes his arm* “This all quiet thing! I don’t like it!”

Sephiroth: *pushes back* “Don’t touch me, woman!”

Lark: *grabs a chunk of his hair* “Don’t call me woman!”

Sephiroth: *trying to grab his hair back* “Ow! Unhand me!” *grabs her wrist*

Lark: “You unhand me!”

(sephiroth jerks her wrist forward, pulling her against him)

Sephiroth: “No!” *kisses her roughly*

Lark: *kisses him back, then pulls away in amazement* “Never mind…” *kisses him again*

(they start really making out pretty heavily)

Lizzie: *looks over, frowns* “Figures…”

Laguna: “That’s not really appropriate.”

Lizzie: “Not much of what she does *is*.”

Laguna: “Wanna go somewhere else?”

Lizzie: *shrugs* “Sure…”

(they leave)

(some time later…seifer and Ashley got on a bus…they’re the only ones on it, and are making out)

Ashley: *pulls away* “Hey, where’s this bus going?”

Seifer: *shrugs* “I dunno. Somewhere cool?”

Ashley: “Works for me.” *they go back at it*

(meanwhile….reno and Noelle stagger along…)

Noelle: “You know…I’m in the mood to pierce something.”

Reno: “Sounds good to me! Maybe they can do that in here…” *walks into a wall*

Noelle: “No, baby! Try the door!”

(they walk into a tattoo parlor. meanwhile…shell and rude made it somehow to that casino)

Rude: *dice in hand* “Come on!”

Shell: “Go Rude!!!”

(rude rolls the dice and wins a huge amount of chips)

Rude: “All right! Drinks for everyone!”

Everyone: “Yeah!”

Shell: *eyes on the money* “I love you, Rude!”

(meanwhile…Lizzie and laguna end up at an all night CD store.)

Lizzie: “Wow, that’s ten CD’s you’re buying for me, Laguna!”

Laguna: “Well, I have a lot of money. I’m President of Esthar! Plus, I have no one to buy things for.” *frowns*

Lizzie: “Why don’t you buy stuff for Squall?”

Laguna: “Every time I ask him what he wants he says ‘whatever’ and walks away.”

Lizzie: *puts a hand on his shoulder* “Well, if it makes you feel any better you can buy me all the stuff you want!”

Laguna: *face lights up* “Really? Wow! I feel a lot better!”

(meanwhile…lark and sephy are still going at it in the corner of the club…)

Lark: *pulls away, panting, and winks* “So…you *really* don’t wear anything under those pants, huh?”

Sephiroth: *grins* “Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

(they leave the club….)

(and now…the next morning….>do you *really* wanna know?<…Ashley and seifer are asleep next to a bus stop marker in the middle of nowhere. the only thing around them is a corn field…)

Ashley: *stirs, hand to her head* “How drunk *was* I last night?” *looks around* “Why am I outside?”

Seifer: *gets up, hand to head* “Now I remember why I don’t drink much.” *looks around* “Why the hell are we at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere?”

Ashley: “I don’t know! I don’t remember what happened!”

Seifer: “That is the *last* time we go out with Reno!”

Ashley: “Where the hell are we?” *looks all around* “Nebraska?”

Seifer: “Are those *corn* fields?”

(they look at each other)

Ashley: “Well…I guess a bus will come soon…I mean, I guess that’s how we got here…”

Seifer: “Yeah…unless we took a magic, haunted bus and somehow ended up in hell!”

Ashley: “Do you see any devils with pitchforks?”

Seifer: *looks around* “No…”

Ashley: “We’re not in hell.”

Seifer: “Some other dimension then.”

Ashley: “I think you’re *still* drunk.”

(meanwhile….Noelle and reno wake up in the “party mobile” which is still parked outside the club)

Reno: *wakes up, rubs his neck* “Ow….geez…” *looks around* “Well it’s better then the gutter.”

Noelle: *rubs her eyes* “Hey….we never left the car.”

Reno: “Geez, my butt’s sore.” *rubs his butt*

Noelle: “Probably from sleeping in this car all night.” *rubs her shoulder* “My shoulder’s sore too.”

Reno: *grins* “Let me give you a massage.”

Noelle: “In the car?” *shrugs* “All right.”

Reno: *pushes her hair off her neck and stares in amazement* “Hey!!”

Noelle: *trying to turn her head around* “What? What?!”

Reno: “You got my named tattooed on your shoulder! That’s why it’s sore!!”

Noelle: “What?! I did?! How drunk *was* I?”

Reno: “Now you’re *really* mine!”

Noelle: “Wait a minute, Reno…you said your *butt* was sore…”

Reno: *pales* “Uh…..”

(meanwhile…..Lizzie and laguna return home)

Lizzie: *yawns* “I can’t believe we stayed out all night just talking! I never do that!”

Laguna: “I’ve never stayed up all night in my life!

Lizzie: *smiles* “Well…I had a lot of fun, Laguna.”

Laguna: “Me too! Think we could go out again?”

Lizzie: “Sure!”

(they’re about to kiss when…)

Kiros: *calling out a window* “Ward says get your ass inside, Laguna! It’s your day to do the laundry!”

Laguna: *draws back with a sigh* “Bye…”

Lizzie: *frowns* “Bye….”

(he goes inside)

Lizzie: *walking away* “Note to self…revenge on Kiros…”

(meanwhile….shell and rude are in a huge luxury suite at the hotel and there is Gil *everywhere*)

Shell: *sits up in bed, rubbing her head* “Ow….drinking that much is not good…” *looks around* “Okay…luxury suite….” *picks up a handful of Gil* “Money everywhere…!!” *looks besides her and frowns* “Oh. Rude.” *sighs* “Good enough.” *shakes him* “Rude! Wake up! We’re rich!”

Rude: *sits up* “Huh?”

Shell: “Look! I don’t know how this all happened, but look how it ended up! So I guess it really doesn’t matter, huh?”

Rude: “I remember what happened. We left the club to come to the casino, and I won so much money that they gave us this suite.”

Shell: *frowns* “It was more fun as a mystery…”

(and finally, we have lark and sephiroth, who started out fighting but ended up very much attached…they made their way back to the ramble room….lark, wakes up, on top of sephy, with just her bra as a top)

Lark: *hand to her head* “I hate drinking…and now I know why…” *looks down* “What the….” *eyes widen* “OH MY G-D!”

Sephiroth: *eyes fly open* “Huh? What are you screaming at….wo….man…” *eyes focus on something other than her face*

Lark: “Sephy, *why* are we in here…together….and half naked?”

Sephiroth: “Huh?” *looks down at his bare chest* “Uh…………………..I don’t know.”

Lark: “Sephiroth! You don’t think we….”

Sephiroth: *urgently* “No!” *backs off* “No…we didn’t. No way.” *whispers* “I’m not that lucky.”

Lark: “Yeah….you’re right.” *picks up her shirt and leaves the room*

Sephiroth: *punches the floor* “Dammit!!”

(the door opens and reno comes in)

Reno: “Hey, Sephiroth! What’s going on?” *grins* “Hey, did you score with Lark?”

Sephiroth: *wails* “I don’t know! I don’t remember anything!”

Reno: “Yeah…that happens when you drink too much. I got a tattoo of Noelle’s name on my butt and forgot about it when I woke up.”

Sephiroth: “Ugh? You did?”

Reno: “Yeah! Isn’t it cool!?”

Sephiroth: *narrows eyes* “I am never drinking with you again.”

Reno: “Yeah, like I really buy that.” *he laughs and leaves*

Sephiroth: *mutters* “Stupid drunk gets me drunk….”

(rude and shell enter in expensive designer clothes)

Shell: “Hey, Sephiroth! Have you seen Lark?”

Sephiroth: “No!” *storms out*

Rude: “What’s his problem?”

Shell: “He’s jealous of our outfits.”

Rude: “You think?”

Shell: “Now let me paint your nails!”

Rude: *sighs* “Yes, Shell.”


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