#15 – Truth or Hojo

Nida: “Owie, owie, owie! When I said I’d do anything to go to the party, I didn’t know you meant bodily harm!”
Originally Published: 7/12/00 . 16 pages
The Gundam Wing guys come around and a game of truth, dare, or firehouse breaks out…you either do your dare, or you kiss Hojo!

Ramble Milestones
-First mention of Zechs and Treize.

This ramble is just another easy crossover ramble written around one idea. Is has a couple of amusing moments, but it’s pretty lame. This was the last crossover ramble that was written right on schedule like I had originally planned.

(rufus, reno, sephiroth, irvine, seifer, zell, rude and reeve are sitting around in the room, draped over the furniture, looking unhappy)

Seifer: “Ashley told me that she and the other girls are bringing those stupid Gundam Wing boys back again today.”

Rufus: *moans* “Again?! It seems like they never leave!”

Sephiroth: *takes out the masamune* “I say we kill them.”

Zell: “Yeah!”

Irvine: “We can’t do that! Then Lark will kill us!”

Reno: *gets up and goes for the door*

Rufus: “Where are you going?”

Reno: “To get drunk.”

Seifer: “Oh no you’re not!”

Rude: “You have to stay.”

Rufus: “Yeah, Reno. You have to stay and *suffer* with us!”

Reno: *plops back on the floor muttering* “Stupid Gundam Wing boys…prevent me from drinking….”

Lark’s voice: “We’re back!”

Sephiroth: “Hurry, if we hide we can still ambush them!”

All others: “NO!”

Sephiroth: *crosses his arms and pouts* “Fine. But when you’re bored out of your mind later, don’t blame me.”

(lark, Ashley, Noelle and shell enter with heero, duo, quatre, trowa and wufei. the gw guys don’t look too thrilled themselves. the ff guys, except reeve, are glaring at them and the gw guys, except quatre, are glaring right back.)

Lark: “Hi, boys! Look who we brought!”

Reeve: “Hi there!” *all ff guys glare at him and he moves away*

Quatre: *chipperly* “Hi! It’s great to be back!” *all gw guys glare at him*

Ashley: “Come on you guys! Just because you had that contest and nobody won doesn’t mean that there has to be hostility between you guys!”

Trowa: *to shell and pointing to the ff guys* “Who are they?”

Shell: *slaps him upside the head* “Remember?”

Trowa: “Oh yeah!” *glares* “I don’t like them.”

(awkward silence)

Lark: “So…..” *cough*

Noelle: “What’s new?”

(the guys are glaring at each other)

Ashley: *whispers to lark* “This doesn’t look good.”

Shell: *whispers* “It looks like they’re going to start World War 3!”

Noelle: *in a small voice* “I’m scared!”

Lark: *whispers* “Uh…don’t worry…” *to everyone* “Hey! How ’bout a game?!”

Reno: *jumps up* “I’ll get the wine!”

Rufus: “NO! No way!”

Noelle: “What’s wrong with a little alcohol?”

Lark: “No. Remember what happened last time?”

Noelle: *thinks* “No….I must have been too drunk.”

Lark: “No drinking games. Let’s play something harmless.”

Shell: “I’m all for truth or dare!”

Ashley: “Er…….”

Lark: “Yeah! Truth, dare or firehouse!”

Seifer: “Firehouse?”

Trowa: *looks around* “Where’s the fire?”

Shell: *pats him on the shoulder* “There is none, hon.”

Lark: “Firehouse. It’s another choice. You see, in firehouse, someone gives you four people, and you’re all in a burning building. You can save one, throw one out the window, leave one there to die and set one on fire.”

Quatre: “That’s cruel!”

Noelle: “I like it!”

Shell: “Yeah, but we have to put a limit on how many times you can pick it, otherwise…” *glares at lark* “she’ll use it every turn.”

Lark: *nervous laugh* “No I won’t….”

Reno: “Fine, how about you can only use it….twice the whole game.”

Lark: *pouts* “Fine.”

Zell: “All right! Let’s play!”

Duo: “Wait! What about the consequence?”

Sephiroth: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Duo: “The consequence. It’s what you have to do if you won’t do the dare.” *grins* “It has to be something really bad.”

(everyone thinks)

Irvine: “I know! If you don’t do your dare, you have to go….kiss Hojo on the cheek–!”

Everyone: “EWWWW!!!”

Irvine: “Even the guys!”

Guys: “Ugh!”

Zell: “Irvine, how could you, man!?”

Ashley: “Well, at least he’s making sure everyone will do their dare!”

Lark: “Oh, and I have one more rule. You can change your choice at any time, except if you pick dare. Once you pick dare there’s no changing. Okay?”

(everyone nods, and they all sit down to start playing)

Lark: “Reeve, you go first.” *mutters* “He’s safe.”

Ashley: “Wait! Before we start, I’d like to say there’s no helping! You have to think of your own truth questions and dares.”

Shell: “Damn!”

Lark: “Okay, Reeve, go ahead. And don’t pick me!”

Reeve: “Uh….okay.” *looks around* “Wufei, truth, dare or firehouse.”

Wufei: “You are weak.”

Quatre: *nudges him* “Be nice!”

Wufei: *growls* “Fine…..I will choose….dare. I am not afraid of you.”

Reeve: *grins devilishly* “Dare, huh?” *chuckles* “I dare you to get up and sing I’m A Little Teapot. You have to act it out too. Everyone wants to see the teapot.”

Wufei: *pales* “What? Are you crazy? I will not–“

Reno: *laughs* “Then go kiss Hojo!”

Rufus: *shudders* “Ugh. Just *thinking* about it makes me wanna die.”

Wufei: *clenches his teeth* “Fine.” *gets up and starts singing, not too happily* “I’m a little teapot, short and stout…”

Sephiroth: *mutters* “Well he’s got the short part down…”

Wufei: “Here is my handle…” *puts a hand on his hip* “Here is my spout.” *puts an arm up* “There.” *glares at reeve* “I will destroy you.” *sits down*

Lark: *laughing really hard* “That was the funniest thing!”

Wufei: *if looks could kill…* “Very well. It is my turn. Wufei chooses…” *looks around and points to his next victim* “You.”

Rufus: “Me?” *gulp* “Fine…I pick…truth.”

Wufei: “Here is your question. Who do you think looks more like a girl? Duo, or that Sephiroth jerk?”

Duo and Sephiroth: “Hey!”

Duo: “The braid is cool!”

Sephiroth: *reaches for the masamune* “I’ll kill you!”

Lark: “No you won’t.”

Rufus: *pales* “Uh….” *looks from duo to sephy and back again* “Sorry….” *gulp* “Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: *too mad to reply*

Wufei: *laughs*

Duo: *grins*

Rufus: “Don’t kill me!” *hides behind reeve*

Shell: “No blood!”

Heero: “All right, let’s not waste time. Get on with the game.”

Rufus: “Ok….Lark–“

Lark: “Damn!”

Rufus: “–truth, dare or firehouse?”

Lark: “Firehouse.”

Rufus: “Ok. Me, Irvine, Heero and–“

Lark: “No! That’s mean! Never mind! I pick truth!”

Rufus: “If you had to kill me, Irvine or Zell–“

Lark: “No! I can’t do that either! Dare! I’ll take dare!”

Rufus: *sighs* “Fine.” *thinks* “I dare you pretend to propose to Wufei–“

Lark: “What?!”

Rufus: “–with a straight face, and do it sincerely.”

Lark and Wufei: “But we hate each other!”

Rufus: *grins* “I know.”

Lark: *sighs and goes over to Wufei* “Fine. Here goes nothing.” *takes a breath and begins over dramatically* “Oh, Wu-chan, I love you *so* much. I can’t imagine the rest of my life without you. Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Wufei: “No way, whore! Now get away from me!”

Lark: “Gladly!” *goes back to her seat*

Heero: *doesn’t look happy* “Hmmm…”

Lark: “Okay, let’s see….” *grins* “Reno-chan! Truth, dare or firehouse?”

Reno: *grins and leans back casually* “I’ll take dare, thanks.”

Lark: *right away* “I dare you to tango with Rude.”

Reno: *jaw drops* “Tango with Rude?!”

Rude: *eyes get wide*

Lark: *nods, grinning* “Yup.” *turns to shell* “The music, please.”

(shell goes over and puts on the cd player. reno and rude get up and face each other, not looking too happy. the music starts)

Reno: “I’m leading, man.” *he starts dancing with rude. surprisingly they’re both really good*

Lark: *jaw drops* “Wow.”

Shell: “Rude! I didn’t know you could dance!” *dreamy look*

Trowa: “I could do that….” *looks at shell*

Reno: “This is so embarrassing!”

Noelle: “Wow, Reno! I’m impressed!”

Reno: *grins* “Of course!” *they finish dancing, and everyone claps. reno bows a few times, but rude just quietly goes back to his seat* “Thank you, thank you.” *sits* “Ok…’Roth. Truth, dare or firehouse?”

Sephiroth: *gulp* “Uh………………………………………………………..dare.”

Reno: *grins devilishly* “I dare you to french kiss Lark.”

Sephiroth: *eyes nearly come out of his head* “WHAT?!”

Irvine, Zell and Rufus: “RENO!!!”

Lark: *blinks* “Uh….”

Sephiroth: *looks at lark* “I can’t, I mean, I…” *glares at reno* “*RENO*…..”

Reno: *shrugs, still grinning* “Fine. You don’t wanna do it, go kiss your daddy.”

Sephiroth: *shudders* “Fine.” *looks at lark* “Uh…you okay with this?”

Lark: “Dare’s a dare…” *sighs*

Sephiroth: *gets up and goes over to lark who stands up too* “How long do we have to….” *gulp* “*kiss* for?”

Reno: *still grinning* “Until I say to stop.”

Sephiroth: “Okay….” *deep breath* “Ready….Lark?”

Lark: *takes a breath, a little stiff* “Yeah…”

Reno: “Ok, come on!”

Heero: *growls* “I don’t like this….”

(sephiroth takes another deep breath, sweeps lark up in his arms and starts kissing her passionately. 10 seconds go by…)

Irvine: *whispering to reno* “Don’t you think that’s enough, Reno?”

Reno: *chuckles* “No.”

(sephiroth is really getting into it. he starts moaning softly. another 10 seconds go by)

Rufus: *irritated* “*Reno*….”

Reno: *laughs* “Not yet.”

Irvine: *quietly* “Reno, if you’re trying to get him to get an–“

Ashley: *whispers harshly* “Irvine!”

Irvine: *still quietly* “What?” *turns to reno* “I was just going to say, I think you’ve done it.”

(sephiroth is even *more* into it. the moaning gets louder, and he and lark are pressed together. *20* more seconds go by)

Rufus: *urgently* “Reno!”

Irvine: “Reno, if you dont’ stop this, I think that Heero guy is going to kill you.”

Reno: *looks at Heero who looks like he’s ready to pounce on sephiroth and tear him limb from limb* “Uh…you’re right.” *gets up and waves his hands* “Okay you two! That enough!” *no reaction* “Sephiroth! That’s it! You can stop now!” *nothing. reno drags sephy away from lark*

Lark: *stumbles back a few steps* “Wow….”

Heero: *growls and pulls lark next to him*

Sephiroth: *looks down and then sits down really fast, drawing his cape around him* “Uh…well.” *smiles*

Reno: *laughs* “That was fun.” *sits down and tries to ignore irvine, zell, rufus and heero glaring at him*

Sephiroth: “Right. It’s my turn.” *looks at quatre* “You.”

Quatre: “I’m Quatre. Quatre Raberba Winner!”

Sephiroth: “I don’t care. Truth, dare or firehouse?”

Quatre: “Tru–“

Wufei: *mutters* “Weakling…”

Quatre: *stops* “Fine. I’ll take dare.”

Sephiroth: “I dare you to beat up Nida.”

All FF guys and girls: *laughter*

Quatre: “But that’s mean! I can’t do that!”

Sephiroth: “You wanna kiss…” *shudder* “Hojo?”

(all ff guys and the girls shake their heads frantically no)

Quatre: *swallows* “Uh…I guess not.”

Sephiroth: “Good. I need to see someone get their ass kicked today. Someone get Nida.”

Zell: *leaps to his feet* “I’ll get him!”

Lark: “You’ll beat him up before he even gets here!”

Zell: “And that’s bad ’cause….?”

Lark: *goes for the door* “I’ll get him.” *leaves*

Shell: “Poor Nida.”

Irvine: *to shell* “Are we talking about the same Nida here?”

Quatre: “Who is this guy?”

Irvine: “A stupid, bossy prick.”

Shell: “A….guy.”

(lark comes back, dragging nida by the ear)

Nida: “Owie, owie, owie! When I said I’d do anything to go to the party, I didn’t know you meant bodily harm!”

Sephiroth: “There’s more bodily harm to come!”

Nida: “Huh?”

(lark releases nida, and squeezes some anti-bacterial gel onto her hands)

Quatre: *gets up and offers his hand to nida* “Hi. I’m Quatre. Quatre Raberba Winner.”

Nida: *gives him a strange look* “I’m Nida….”

Quatre: “Hi, Nida. I have to beat you up now, other wise I have to kiss this supposedly disgusting guy named Hojo.”

Nida: *gulp* “He’s not that bad….”

Everyone but Nida and Quatre: “Yes he is!”

Nida: *nervously* “Do I get to fight back?”

Sephiroth: “NO!”

Nida: *gulp* “Oh dear….”

Quatre: “Sorry.” *punches nida in the face*

Nida: “Ow!” *stumbles back*

Quatre: “Sorry! I’m really sorry!”

Sephiroth: “Less apology, more hitting!”

Wufei: “They’re both weak.”

Quatre: *hits nida in the stomach* “Sorry!”

Nida: “Ow!”

Sephiroth: “Come on! You’re not even hitting him hard!”

Quatre: *kicks nida* “I’m *really* sorry!”

Nida: “My knee!”

Sephiroth: “Now you’re not even hitting him!” *pouts*

Lark: “That’s enough!”

Sephiroth: “Aw! Come on!”

Nida: *limps away* “This sucks.”

Quatre: *waves* “Sorry about that! I hope we can still be friends!”

Nida: “Right…” *leaves*

Sephiroth: *rubs his hands together* “Well that was fun, wasn’t it?”

(about two hours later)

Duo: “Uh…a truth question…let’s see….uh…what’s your favorite color?”

Rude: “……blue.”

Reno: “What kinda crappy question is that?”

Ashley: “I think we’re all running outta ideas.”

Seifer: “I’m still mad at you for making me kiss chicken wuss!” *points to reno*

Reno: “Hey! It was only on the cheek!”

Noelle: “At least when we played I’ve Never we were drunk…..”

Lark: *shifts her shoulders uncomfortably* “Ugh…I dare someone to give me a massage.”

(irvine, sephiroth, zell, rufus and heero all trip all over themselves trying to get to her first)

Irvine: “Let me! I’m an expert!”

Zell: “She’s not a gun!”

Rufus: “Come on! You got to kiss her!”

Sephiroth: “I’m also bigger than you!”

Heero: “I will destroy all of you.”

Lark: “Geez! Never mind!”

Guys: *pout* “Ooh….” *trudge back to their seats*

Trowa: “Hmm…why do I have a feeling we’re supposed to be somewhere right now?”

Wufei: “Cause you suck.”

Quatre: “Oh no! We were supposed to pick Zechs and Treize up at the airport!”

Lark: *perks up* “Zechs and Treize?!”

Heero: “Right…”

Duo: “Sh*t! Let’s go!” *kisses Ashley and gets up*

Quatre: *kisses Noelle* “Sorry to run everyone.”

Girls: *frown* “Aw….”

Guys: *smile*

Heero: *kisses lark* “I’ll say hi to Zechs and Treize for you.”

Lark: “Thanks.”

Trowa: *kisses shell on the cheek* “Bye.”

Shell: *dreamy sigh* “Bye Trowa….”

Wufei: “You all suck.”

(the gundam pilots leave)

Reno: *stretches out with a sigh* “Boy! I thought they would never leave!”

Lark: *grins* “Kinda like you?”

Reno: *looks at her* “Is that a hint?”

Lark: “Yeah, you guys should all clear out. I’ve gotta clean up….” *knowingly* “…unless you guys wanna help….”

Shell: “Uh…I’ve got episodes of the X-Files that need labeling…” *runs out*

Noelle: “I need to fix my message board.” *runs out*

Rufus: “I have a business to run.” *leaves*

Reeve: “I’ve gotta help him.” *leaves*

Zell: “I need to find Squall to discuss….that thing.” *runs out*

Irvine: “I got a date….yeah.” *leaves*

Reno: “Rude and I….uh….we gotta go.” *pokes rude* “Right?”

Rude: “….yeah….I guess.” *he and reno leave*

Ashley: “I’m at this really good part in Vagrant Story. It can’t wait. Sorry!” *leaves*

Seifer: “Uh….bye!” *runs out*

Lark: *smiles and brushes off her hands. she turns around and nearly runs straight into sephy* “Ack!” *looks up at him* “You still here?”

Sephiroth: *shrugs* “Expecting me to lie and run off like the rest of them?”

Lark: *laughs* “Guess not. Thanks for helping.”

Sephiroth: “Any time.”

Lark: *starts to clean up. suddenly she smiles and laughs to herself* “That was some dare Reno gave you today.”

Sephiroth: *gulp* “I guess so.”

Lark: *shakes her head* “I don’t know what’s up with him!”

Sephiroth: *nervous laugh* “Yeah….me neither.”

Lark: “You know, Sephiroth, I don’t know if you realized it, but you were getting pretty into it.”

Sephiroth: “Uh….” *looks around for an escape*

Lark: *laughs* “For a second there, I thought you really liked me or something!”

Sephiroth: “Uh, I’ve gotta go!” *runs out the door*

Lark: *looks up in confusion* “Sephiroth? Did I say something wrong?”


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