#11 – Who Wants to be Surprised?

Reno: “I think a party is a great idea. It would give us a chance to get rid of some of this liquor.”

Originally Published: 6/26/00 . 13 pages

The guys decide they need to throw Shell a surprise party for her birthday.

Ramble Milestones
-First ramble dealing with a birthday.

Eh, this ramble is one of the many early rambles that revolves around a party. There’s a lot that bothers me about this ramble – especially all of Sephiroth’s random laughter. What the heck does he find so funny? I wrote this thing and even I’m not sure.

(Lark, Bria, Tifa, Reno, Sephiroth, Rufus, Vincent, Reeve, Cloud, Zell and Irvine are in the room. Tifa and Bria are sitting at the table discussing something, while Rufus and Reeve sit there too, looking pretty bored. Sephiroth and Lark are sitting on the couch. Lark’s reading the FF8 strategy guide, and Sephiroth’s making fun of all the bad guys, Cloud’s transfixed at nothing on the wall, Zell’s practicing his fighting moves in the corner, Reno and Irvine are doing an inventory of the liquor on the fridge, and Vincent’s just standing around cause he had nothing better to do.)

Bria: “There’s no way I would be living in Midgar under my own power.”

Tifa: “I know what you mean. Now that I come to think of it, there aren’t too many nice places to live in our world anymore. Most of them have been ruined by Shinra.”

Rufus: “I’m sitting right here!”

Reeve: “Me too!”

Bria: “Sorry, honey.” *kisses Reeve*

Rufus: *glares* “This conversation is boring.” *gets up and goes over to sephiroth and lark* “Move over.” *shoves lark over and sits down*

Lark: “Hey! Who do you think you are?”

Rufus: “President of Shinra Inc.”

Lark: “Oh yeah…..” *goes back to the strategy guide*

Sephiroth: *pointing at something in the guide* “They call that a boss fight! Come on!”

Rufus: “What the heck is that anyway?”

Zell: “Hey! You dissin’ our game again?”

Sephiroth: “When did we stop?”

Lark: “Hey hey! No fighting!”

Irvine: *standing in front of the fridge with reno. he’s holding a clipboard* “Okay, that’s 11 cases of beer, 7 bottles of champagne, and 23 bottles of wine.”

Reno: *scratches his head as he looks in the fridge* “Yeah, you know, come to think of it, pretty much all we have in here is alcohol. Hope no one gets hungry.”

Tifa: *turns to vincent* “Hey, Vincent. What do *you* think of Nibelheim?”

Vincent: *shudders* “It is the beginning of a nightmare.”

Bria: “I gotta agree on that one.”

Cloud: *turns around, head cocked to one side* “Nibelheim?”

Tifa: *runs over and hugs him* “Yes, Cloud. Nibelheim.”

(rude comes in and goes and whispers something in reno’s ear.)

Reno: “It is?”

Rude: *nods*

Reno: “Hey, Lark! Why didn’t you tell us?”

Lark: “If this is about Shell’s birthday, it’s because she already had a party.”

Reno: “So what? She didn’t party down with us! Right, Rude??”

Rude: “……right.”

Lark: “I don’t think she wants to.”

Reno: “Sure she does!”

Lark: *gets up* “Just forget about it, Reno, and go back to counting the bottles of liquor.” *she leaves*

Reno: “I think a party is a great idea. It would give us a chance to get rid of some of this liquor.”

Irvine: “Sounds like a plan to me!”

Reno: *thinks* “But we have to do it so that Lark doesn’t find out….and if we don’t want Lark to find out, then we can’t tell Ashley or Noelle or Katie or Lizzy or Sephiroth either.”

Sephiroth: “Hey! I’m not a tattletale!”

Reno: “Sephiroth, you tell Lark almost everything.”

Sephiroth: “*Almost* everything. Now let me help, insignificant Turk!”

Irvine: “You better let him help, or he’ll whine to Lark about how we didn’t let him.”

Reno: *sighs* “Fine. So, who else wants to help?”


Reno: “Hey! Come on, people! Rufus, Reeve, Zell, Vincent, Cloud–you guys are all helping.”

Bria: “Hey, what about us?” *indicates herself and tifa*

Reno: *sweat drops* “No girls.”

Tifa: “No girls?! But you’re throwing a party for a girl!”

Reno: “Exactly why you can’t help.”

Bria: “This makes no sense.”

Tifa: “Fine. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.” *she and bria leave*

Reeve: “I think we could have used their help.”

Reno: “Nah. No chicks allowed to plan this party. Irvine, Rude, go gather up some more guys to help. We’ve got a party to plan.” *irvine and rude leave*

Rufus: *hand to his head* “Why does this feel like it’s going to be a big mistake?”

Vincent: “….because it probably is.”

Reno: “Hey! Shut up!”

(reno, rufus, sephiroth, rude, zell, vincent, cloud, irvine, squall, cid, barret and reeve are all in the room going over the details of the party. reno has a clipboard and marks things off on it from time to time)

Reno: “Okay, now that that’s settled…..I have a question. Who wants to jump out of the cake?”

Rufus: “Jump out of the cake?! How lame is that!”

Zell: *scratches his head* “Before or *after* you bake it?” *turns to squall* “Do you know, Squall?”

Squall: *sighs* “After, Zell.”

Reno: “We’re having someone jump out of the cake whether you like it or not, Rufus.”

Rufus: “Fine….but I don’t want you singing at the party, Reno.”

Reno: “Hey! It’s *my* party!”

Vincent: “Actually….it’s Shell’s party.”

Reno: “Shut up!”

Rude: “…..I’ll jump out of the cake.”

Reno: “Great!” *writes on the clipboard* “Is there anything else?”

Cid: “@#$%&^*^@$#@><(*@#$!”

Barret: “Yo! That’s a great idea!”

Reno: “Yeah! You’re a genius, Cid!” *writes something on the clipboard*

Cloud: “Are you having a party for me?”

(everyone just stares blankly at him)

Cloud: “Who are you?”

(everyone shakes their heads sadly)

Cloud: “Huh?”

(all the guys who have been working on the party are setting up. Irvine and Reno are setting up the liquor, Barret and Cid are working with the cake (and Rude), Squall and Zell are blowing up balloons, Rufus and Reeve are opening bags of chips and stuff, Vincent and Cloud are picking out the music (well vincent is anyway), and Sephiroth is hanging up the streamers.)

Sephiroth: “Why do they have to be pink? I hate pink. It is a disgusting color.”

Reno: *shrugs* “All girls like pink.”

Irvine: “No they don’t.”

Sephiroth: “Lark *hates* pink.”

Rufus: “She does.”

Reno: “Well she’s a freak.”

Vincent: *putting in a cd* “Is this satisfactory?” *weird techno music plays and everyone makes a disgusted face*

Rufus: “Ugh! What *is* that?!”

Reno: “Vincent, put on something normal. We’re having a party for a 16 year old girl here, not a messed up former Turk who spent a good part of his life locked up in a coffin.”

Vincent: “I suppose you have a point.” *goes back to the cds*

Cloud: *scratches his head* “I was a Turk?”

(everyone shakes their heads and goes back to their work.)

Irvine: “Oh, I almost forgot!!” *opens up a plastic bag* “Look what I got for the party!” *silence* “What?”

Reno: “A piñata?”

Irvine: “Yeah….why…I thought it would be fun.”

Sephiroth: “Heh heh…..”

Irvine: *gives sephiroth a strange look* “What’s so funny?”

Sephiroth: *evil smile*

Irvine: *shrugs* “Okay…..I’m putting it up.”

Sephiroth: *snickers*

Irvine: “Stop it!” *pins the piñata to the ceiling*

Zell: “I bet *I’m* the one that knocks it down.”

(crash sounds from the kitchen area and everyone looks over.)

Cid: “@#$%@ @#*^!# $@@$*^!!”

Barret: “Damn man! Glad I don’t have to go in there!!” *lifts the top off the cake*

Rude: “………….”

Reno: “Wait! You can’t put him in yet!”

Cid: “@#$%@?”

Barret: “Yeah! Why da hell not?”

Reno: “He needs proper………attire.”

Rude: *raises eyebrow* “Pardon?”

Irvine: “Oh, I see.”

Reno: *staring at rude* “Hmmmm….what do you suggest Irvine?”

Irvine: *looking at rude thoughtfully* “Hmmmm…..”

Rude: *looks scared*

Vincent: *putting in another cd* “How about this?”

Music: “Her name was Lola…she was a showgirl….with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there….”

Reno: *face lights up* “I love this song!”

Irvine: *makes a face* “Barry Manilow?! What, are we all old now?”

Vincent:  *sigh* “I’ll change it.”

Reno: *makes a dive for the cd player* “NOOOOOOO!!!” *stops vincent* “Keep it on.” *puts it on repeat and glares at Irvine* “There will be no bashing this song!!”

Irvine: *mumbles* “Fine.”

Sephiroth: *bursts out laughing*

Zell: “What the hell’s your problem?!”

Sephiroth: *is pretty much on the floor laughing*

Vincent: “Did someone drug him…..??”

(everyone looks at rufus.)

Rufus: “Hey! It wasn’t me!”

Sephiroth: *gets up* “Sorry.”

(everyone exchanges weird looks.)

Sephiroth: “Just go back to….dressing Rude…hehe…” *surpresses his laughter as he goes back to putting the streamers up*

Rude: “Mmmmm….”

Irvine: “Oh right! We’re discussing what to dress Rude in.” *turns to reno*

Reno: “Just a sec.” *sings, joining in with the cd* “At the Copa! Copacabana! The hottest spot North of Havana–!”

Rufus: *disgusted face* “How long are we going to have to put up with this?”

Reeve: “…….several hours??”

Reno: *sings* “At the Copa, Copacabanaaaaaaaa! Music and passion were always the fashion, at the COPA!” *grins* “Okay, back to Rude.”

Rude: *sweat drops*

Barret: “Yo, we ain’t got all day!”

Cid: “@#%@#!&^!”

Reno: “Okay, okay! Can’t a guy sing around here?”

Rufus: *mutters* “Not you.”

Irvine: “Well?”

Reno: “Hmmmm….I don’t know….” *shrugs* “I’m not a girl. Just wear the uniform.”

Rude: “Fine.”

Barret: “After all that!!?!”

Irvine: “You know, I don’t know why you kicked all the girls out of the planning.”

Reno: *knowingly* “I happen to know that Lark finds the Turk uniform very sexy. I’m sure her sister will too.”

Irvine: *giving him a look* “Reno, Lark thinks *Zell* is sexy.” *gives him a look*

Zell: *jaw drops* “She does!?!” *grins* “Hey! Did you hear that, Squall??”

Squall: *rolls his eyes*

Sephiroth: *laughs to himself*

Zell: “Would you stop that?! I bet she doesn’t think *you’re* sexy.”

Sephiroth: “Oh that’s it!!” *charges at zell with the masamune*

Irvine: “Come on you guys! They’re going to be here any minute! We have to finish!”

Reno: *turns to rude* “Come on, man. Get in the cake.”

Rude: “Very well….” *climbs in*

Barret: *putting on the top* “I’m tellin’ ya though, he’s @#$% crazy.”

Cid: “@#$%@ @#@*^^!”

Vincent: “I prefer the first CD…..”

Reno: “Hey shut up!” *sings* “At the Copa! Copacabana!”

Rufus: *twitching* “Make it stop!”

Irvine: “Is everything ready?”

(everyone looks around the room.)

Reno: “Yup. Everyone should start arriving soon!”

(a short while later. the room is very crowded with people waiting for the guest of honor to arrive. Irvine’s by the door, waiting to give the signal that someone’s coming.)

Sephiroth: “Are we gonna jump out behind couches or what?”

Reno: *sings* “Music and passion were always the fashion at the Copa!”

Rufus: *twitches*

Sephiroth: “RENO!!”

Reno: “Huh? Oh yeah….” *looks around* “Well, there’s only one couch.”

Sephiroth: “I claim it!” *runs for it*

Rufus: “Hey!”

Irvine: “I hear someone coming!”

(everyone runs to hide. the door opens.)

Laguna: *running in* “Hey hey! I’m President of Esthar!”

Kiros: *mumbles* “Oh….it’s just the idiot.”

Irvine: “No, I hear someone else coming!!” *he pulls laguna away from the door and they hide*

Lark: *entering with Shell* “Why do I hear Barry Manilow coming from here?”

Shell: *looking around* “I don’t know but I’m kinda—“

Everyone: *popping out and yelling* “SURPRISE!”

Shell: *pales* “—Scared.”

Reno: “Happy birthday, Shell!!”

Shell: “But I already had a party!”

Lark: “Reno, I told you not too!”

Reno: “But you haven’t partied with us!”

Shell: *quietly* “And yet that was fine with me….”

Irvine: “We have a surprise for you later!”

Shell: *unenthusiastically* “Great.”

Zell: “And Irvine got a piñata!”

Lark: “Oh no! What’s in it?”

Irvine: *strange look* “Candy…..why?”

Lark: *sigh of relief* “Never mind.”

Sephiroth: “Come on!! Let’s break the piñata now!!”

Lark: “Oh no…..”

Reno: “Birthday girl first!! Everyone else, get in line behind me!”

(shell puts on a blind fold and picks up a stick. reno gets in line and zell, seifer, sephiroth, rufus, irvine, and vincent line up behind him.)

Zell: “Why don’t you play, Squall?”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Shell: *swings wildly with the stick, but doesn’t hit it at all* “Damn!!”

Reno: “My turn!” *puts on the blind fold and takes out his night stick* “Watch this!” *he swings really hard, but just ends up spinning completely around and stumbling into zell*

Rufus: *laughs* “Watch what?”

Zell: *picks up the stick* “I’ll get it down!” *puts on the blindfold and swings for it, but he’s swinging too low* “Where the hell is this thing??”

Seifer: *pushes him out of the way and takes the blindfold* “Let a real man do it, chicken-wuss.”

Ashley: “Go Seifer!” *turns to Noelle* “Cheer for Seifer!”

Noelle: *looking at her empty bottle* “I need a new beer.”

Seifer: *swings his gunblade, but only succeeds in cutting the pináta off the ceiling.”

Irvine: “Oh, man! Now I got to put it back up!” *gets a new piece of string*

Zell: “Ha ha! You didn’t do it either, Seifer!”

Seifer: *growls* “Shut up, chicken-wuss.”

Sephiroth: *takes out the masamune. everyone steps back* “This’ll do it!” *puts on the blind fold and swings wildly. he’s not even facing the darn thing* “What the—?!?!” *takes off blind fold and throws it to the floor* “Stupid @#%& thing!!” *goes to charge for it but rufus stops him*

Rufus: “Our turn.”

Lark: “Our?”

(irvine, rufus and vincent don the blind folds, then raise their guns. everyone screams and hits the floor, but the guys shoot and it actually hits the piñata. it opens up and falls to the floor.)

Irvine: “Yee haw!” *makes a dive for the candy*

Reno: *sings* “Her name was Lola…she was a showgirl…”

Rufus: *twitch*

Barret: “Yo! Ain’t it time for the cake?”

Reno: “Oh yeah! Bring it out!”

(barret and cid wheel the cake over to shell.)

Reno: “Okay, now make a wish!” *winks* “Maybe it’ll come true!”

Shell: *blows out the candles, looking scared. rude pops out of the cake* “ACK!!”

Rude: “Hi.”

Lark: “You had Rude jump out of the cake?!”

Reno: *shrugs* “He volunteered.”

Shell: “This is the weirdest birthday ever.”

Reno: “Just wait till next year.”

Shell: *pales*


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