Here are the top 25 funniest lines from the last ramble, “And So it Goes” as well as the top 25 lines from The Ramble Movie.

25.
Shadow: “She’s a ninja? She doesn’t even wear a mask!”
Locke: “I don’t think that’s required or anything.”
Shadow: *distraught* “It’s all falling apart!”

24.
Lark: “Sephiroth…*many* people signed this?”
Sephiroth: *nods* “Many.”
Lark: “I see two. You and Twilight.”
Sephiroth: “What?! Are you crazy?! Practically everyone in the ramble room signed it!”
Lark: “Really? And practically everyone has the same handwriting that exactly matches yours? Or spells their own name wrong?”
Sephiroth: *mutters* “Dammit, Twilight.”

23.
Dracula: “I think pinwheels are cuddly!” *pause* “Did someone mention a kitty? Alucard, didn’t we used to have one of those? And didn’t I eat it?” *bursts into tears* “That poor kitty!!! It tasted so good!!”

22.
Seymour: “Look! I got flowers! I wonder who they could be from?” *reads card* “To Seymour. Love your secret admirer.” *phony gasp* “Secret Admirer! Who could it be?”
Heidegger: “Yourself! Gya haa haa!”

21.
Dante: “I wasn’t cheating! Me and Gippal have this thing where I kiss him for luck before he goes after a guy! That’s what it was! He wanted to get with Irvine’s brother!”
Sephiroth: “Oh yeah? Which one?”
Dante: “I don’t know! One named after a city!”
Sephiroth: “That’s like all of them!”

20.
Irvine: “………You’re just going out with some dude you met on the way to the bathroom?”
Trini: “Yeah…so what?”
Irvine: “You don’t even know him! He could be an axe murderer or somethin’!”
Trini: “Irvine?! Are you kidding me! Didn’t you meet a girl while you were *in* the bathroom once?”
Irvine: “I stumbled into the wrong one by accident, but that’s besides the point!”

19.
Lark: “At five o’clock in the morning? Where exactly are we going?”
Shell: “To a guy in an alley who only works under the cover of darkness. Where else would Ashley have gotten her Playstation in the first place?”
Ashley: “Hey! He has a legitimate business!”
Shell: “You’re kidding, right? It’s called Five Finger Electronics for a reason.  And the reason isn’t that he’s got five fingers.”

18.
Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! That all you can eat buffet will curse the day they opened! Gya haa haa!”

17.
Shadow: “I don’t do hugs. You might try to stab me.”

16.
Algus: “What exactly is a scrapbook? It sounds like something a beggar chooses his clothes from.”

15.
Reno: “Hold up a minute! Is this song about sex?”
Irvine: “What! No way! It’s about havin’ fun in the afternoon!”
Reno: “Yeah – by having sex!”
Irvine: “What?! No!”
Reno: “’The thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting’?! What does that sound like to you? Going fishing?!”
Irvine: *pales* “Oh god.”

14.
Lloyd: “So you’re breaking up with me?!”
Nightmare: “How the expression go? It’s not you, it’s Nightmare!”
Nemesis: *shakes head no* “STARS!”
Nightmare: “Nevermind! It is totally you!”

13.
Nida: “Ew! Ants aren’t food! They’re bugs! People don’t eat bugs!”
Trent: “Yes they do. Plenty of people all over the world eat bugs.”
Nida: “No they don’t! People hate bugs! That’s why they make bug spray to kill them! Nobody eats bugs! Nobody! You’re a big liar!”
Trent: “I am not lying! How dare you! You think I would ever make up these types of stories?!”
Scarlet: “Shut up, Nida. If he made them up they’d probably be entertaining.”

12.
Snake: “You’d have to drop a lot of porn mags for the terrorists to overlook that sorry excuse for box sneaking!”

11.
Reno: “…You know what we have to do at a time like this?”
Seifer: “Go and cry to our stuffed animals…uh…that we totally don’t have cuz we’re grown men.”

10.
Red: “This movie about the planet Uranus is supposed to very interesting.”
Barret: “Yo, baa baa black sheep! Don’t be callin’ planets insultin’ names!”
Red: “…Uranus is the name of the planet, you buffoon.”
Barret: “Yo! Don’t be tryin’ to trick me into thinkin’ they named a planet after parta yo’ ass!”

9.
Otacon: “I think girls with glasses are hot.”
Quistis: “You look like you still live at home with your mother.”
Otacon: “I so don’t! She lives with *me*!”

8.
Ashley: “I can understand the Alucard thing, but forget about Sephiroth. He called you a bitch in front of everyone!”
Shell: “And for once you didn’t even deserve it!”

7.
Richter: “I know! I know why you’re mad at me! You’re mad about the wedding!”
Tifa: “Wow! And it only took you two hours to guess! And most of those guesses had to do with me being mad at you for not being dedicated enough to fighting vampires!”
Richter: “That’s a very valid reason to be angry.”

6.
Tseng: “Hi, Alucard. Sorry I called your house. I tried your cell, but it just went straight to voicemail.”
Alucard: “It’s dead just like my father is to me!”

5.
Rudy: *smells jack and frowns* “You smell like the mouse.”
Jack: “Only because we’re friends! It’s not like that!”
Rudy: “You lie! You’re a liar!”

4.
Worker 2: *pulls a bratz game off the shelf* “This is a good game for girls.”
Ashley: *pauses* “…Wow. You know what else is a good game? Trying to restrain myself from killing you. It’s a hard one, though.”

3.
Ashley: “I’m glad no one saw us.”
Shell: “At 5 a.m? Even Irvine and Reno have passed out by now!”

2.
Uncle Herb: “Plus you can make extra money by recruiting more vampires!”
Algus: “I do like earning more money… But I’ve heard bad things about vampires. Such as you can’t be in the sunlight, you must sleep in a coffin and you won’t be able to see yourself in a mirror.”
Uncle Herb: “You won’t miss any of those things! You can still go outside when it’s cloudy or dark out! And you’d be surprised how comfortable coffins are these days!”
Algus: “Hmm… I don’t know…”
Uncle Herb: “Did I mention you can turn into a bat? Talk about easy transportation!”
Algus: “No more mirrors…?”
Zidane: *rolls eyes* “Oh just do it, Algus. You’re already a soulless monster anyway.”

1.
Nida: *stirs* “Huh…? What is it, Scarlet?”
Kuja: *snort* “You’re not in Scarlet anymore, honey.”

Top Lines From the Ramble Movie

1.

Argath: “…I’m sorry…but did your slave just tell a story of his life?”

Algus: “No! He must have read it in a book! He has no life of his own!”

 2.

Atsuma: “I could really go for a hamburger. I’m gonna go grab one. You want one too?”

Algus: “Where do you think you’re going?”

Atsuma: “Uh…I’m pretty sure I was just talking about going to get a hamburger, but…maybe I’m wrong.”

Algus: “You’re not allowed to go off on your own! You’re my slave!”

Atsuma: “Okay…so you wanna come with?”

Algus: “No! Are you not grasping the concept of being a slave? You are *my* slave! Therefore you can only do what *I* tell you! You cannot go off on your own whenever you feel like it!”

Atsuma: “Ohhhhh! I get it! So you don’t want me wandering off by myself without telling you first! That’s cool! Toya makes me tell him where I’m going too. ‘Cause sometimes I get lost and he has to come find me.”

Algus: “…………”

Atsuma: “…………”

Algus: “……………”

 3.

Algus: “Yes, well, I’m stuck training a new slave now. My old one died. Too much whipping.”

 4.

 5.

Scarlet: “She’s gonna kill me.” *looks around* “Where’s Heidegger?”

Seymour: “He went out for a morning walk.”

Scarlet: “He’s not still going through people’s garbage, is he?”

Seymour: “Once he found out there was a lot of half eaten food in there there’s just been no stopping him.”

 6.

Nero: “But Dante! We’re practically family! I’d let you stay on my couch if it hadn’t been repossessed!”

Dante: “Nero, I would rather trade places with Lloyd for a week than sleep on your couch.”

 7.

Dracula: “I’m blacklisted from the craft store!”

Dedede: “Are you sure?”

Dracula: “They didn’t like the way I was using the pipe cleaners!”

Bowser: “Oh, very. Not only did Ganon show up to kidnap my son personally…I was the one who unsealed him.”

Dedede, Nightmare and Nemesis: “WHAT?!/STARS?!”

 8.

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Freebies!”

Quina: “I thought I smell yummy yum yums! I try some of everything!”

Heidegger: *looks at quina*

Quina: *looks at Heidegger*

 9.

Brian: “So all that stuff…never happened?”

Algus: “Oh, it more or less happened. But they left plenty out. Be glad you didn’t have to be subjected to Mustadio and his ‘chocobo farm’.”

 10.

Algus: “I fired you.”

Atsuma: “I know.”

Algus: “…………”

Atsuma: “……………”

Algus: “Are you not aware what that means?”

Atsuma: “Of course I know what it means!”

Algus: “Then please, enlighten me.”

Atsuma: “Fired! It means you’re firey! Full of life and stuff!”

Algus: *long pause* “……………I don’t know how you’ve lived so long without getting killed…”

Atsuma: *frowns* “I’m wrong?”

Algus: “Yes, you’re wrong, you idiot! Fired means you’re no longer employed by me! You’re no longer in my service! It means I don’t want you as my slave any more!”

 11.

Yuffie: “Wow, Locke. Harsh much?”

Locke: “Hey, I gotta be. She once ordered a custom made robot of me. Luckily the robots wound up taking over the factory and it was shut down.”

Yuffie: *wide eyes*

 12.

Treize: “Of course. Sorry we’re a bit late.”

Wufei: “Zechs couldn’t find his magnetic bracelets.”

Zechs: “They have healing properties!”

 13.

Lloyd: “Looks like we’ll be fighting side by side for once, Dante!”

Dante: “I could ask for worse.”

Nero: “We can all fight together!”

 14.

Psycho Mantis: “12 of you are thinking about sleeping right now. 15 are thinking about sex. 4 are thinking about cartoons. And 1 is thinking about doing unspeakable things to a wind mouse.”

 15.

Kuja: “So? You can’t always get what you want, Zidane. I’ve always wanted a diamond necklace, but you don’t see me wearing one.”

Zidane: “…You’re wearing two.”

 16.

Nida: “Sunshine’s a lawyer!”

Kuja: “That’s right!”

Seymour: “How could you forget about her?”

 17.

Rufus: “So I expect all of you soldiers to do Shinra proud.”

Solider #1: “So which here side of the gun does the killin’ come from?” *holds barrel in front of face*

Rufus: *hand to head* “I really should have established a more stringent screening process.”

Tseng: “I guess ‘anybody who can stand’ just isn’t cutting it anymore.”

Rufus: “Tseng! Make them decent soldiers!”

Tseng: “Even I can’t accomplish the impossible, Rufus.”

 18.

Seymour: “Don’t worry, hon. There are plenty of other lawyers out there.”

Kuja: “Do you know a good one?”

Scarlet: “I know a few…but I wouldn’t call them good. They weren’t able to get me off.”

Nida: “You mean from jail time?”

 19.

Seifer: “Don’t worry, Ashley! Nothing gets past the Sorceress’ Knight!”

Ashley: “Unless you’re playing badminton.”

 20.

Dracula: “I can’t feel my foot!”

Alucard: “…That’s because it’s missing.”

Dracula: “I think a sofa stole it, Alucard! Those sofas can never be trusted! They stole your older brother from me! And I’ve never seen him since!”

D: “I’m right here, dad.”

 21.

Selphie: “Squall, I think you should say something to all the Garden students!”

Squall: “Why?”

Quistis: “Because! You’re our leader!”

Squall: “Then what the hell is Headmaster Cid?”

 22.

Gippal: “Some of them are cute! How can you possibly beat them up over and over? Like that guy.” *points*

Maxi: “Him? Trust me. Once Kilik smacks you with his pole once or twice, you won’t think he’s cute anymore.”

Gippal: *stares at maxi*

Maxi: *stares*

Gippal: “You mean—“

Maxi: “No, I mean an actual pole.”

 23.

Nero: “Aw, come on, Dante! Just for a little while? Just until I get back on my feet again?”

Dante: “Look, I’m already housing one dead beat—“

Lloyd: “Yeah! Me!”

 24.

Zell: “The guys we talked to seemed pretty creeped out that he was on the loose again! But they gave us this net! They said it’s great for catching monkeys!”

 25.

Argath: “I remember the fight over Aunt Giselda’s manor.”

Algus: “We were in court for nearly a decade. Finally father just died, so we got her entire estate.”

Argath: *smiles* “And his to boot!”