Bonus Ramble: Newforthivinganakasteristmas

This mini-ramble was originally published to the Final Fantasy Freaks Livejournal group. It involves Alucard and Dante dealing with how Dracula tries to celebrate Halloween.

(alucard opens the front door to find dante standing there. he is dressed in some kind of egyptian god costume, which, of course, has no shirt)

Dante: “Hey, babe! Happy Halloween!”

Alucard: “No. It’s never happy Halloween. Not with dad around.”

Dante: “The big guy doesn’t like Halloween?”

Dracula’s voice: “Alucard! It lives!”

Alucard: “…See for yourself.”

(he takes dante into the living room. there is a huge fir tree set up. it is decorated with turkeys, easter eggs, dreidels, santa clauses, stars, fireworks, pilgrims, poinsettias, happy new years noisemakers and basically objects related to every other holiday besides halloween)

Dante: *looks at it* “What the…?!”

Dracula: “Isn’t it great, Alucard’s boyfriend? It’s my festive tree to celebrate the holiday!”

Dante: “And what exact holiday are you trying to celebrate here?”

Dracula: “Newforthivinganakasteristmas!”

Dante: “…What?”

Alucard: “How did he even come up with a word that complicated?”

Dracula: “Now put on your festive hats!”

(he sticks a happy new years hat with reindeer ears on dante, and a pilgrim hat with bunny ears on alucard. he puts on a hat that’s a mix of a sombrero and a santa hat)

Alucard: “This cannot go on.”

Dante: “How much stuff do you *have* in that basement?”

Alucard: “Dad, today is Halloween. Not Newfourth…whatever the hell gibberish you came up with.”

Dracula: “Stop ruining the fun for everyone else, Alucard! Or no gingerbread eggs for you!”

Alucard: “Dad…”

Dracula: “Now help yourselves to this blood nog I made!”

(he gestures to a bowl full of a red substance that is clearly blood. it has chunks of meat and chocolate coins floating in it)

Dante: “Ugh.”

Alucard: “It’s Halloween, dad. You know, with the candy and the costumes and the monster movies on TV?”

Dracula: “I already made you a hat, Alucard. If you want to wear a costume you can make one yourself.”

Dante: “Speaking of hats, do I have to keep wearing mine?”

Alucard: “This is far worse than last year.” *goes over and puts the tv on* “Look, dad! Dracula’s on!”

Dracula: *looks at the tv* “That doesn’t look like me, Alucard! His hat isn’t half as cool as mine!”

Alucard: “I give up.”

Dracula: “You can’t give up already, Alucard! We haven’t even started hunting for hidden reindeer heads yet!”

Dante: “Oh boy.”

Alucard: “You did WHAT?!”

Dracula: *chuckles* “I hid them all over the house!” *sniffs air* “And now it smells.”

Alucard: *hits himself in the forehead* “Far, far worse than last year.”

Dracula: *runs out* “I’m gonna find the first one!”

(with him gone, alucard and dante just look at each other)

Dante: “You wanna get the hell outta here?”

Alucard: “Do I ever.”

THE END

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Etc. and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s