#199 – To Have and To Hold

Lark: “…I thought I’d never say this, but I think we have a pick a bridal party of video game characters.”

Originally Published: 12/15/06 . 94 pages

Synopsis
Rufus wants to plan Lark a wedding that the ramble gang can attend! But when everything goes wrong, will there still be a wedding at all?

Ramble Milestones
-Edgar and Setzer are finally revealed to be a couple.
-Lark and Brady get married.

In real life I didn’t get married until several months later, but it was fun to imagine my “ramble” wedding. I enjoy incooperating other games, and it was fun to come up with so many different cameos for this one. I don’t think they all quite worked, but you try thinking of a game were you could get limos! All of the games referenced are listed below – my favorites were Dark Cloud 2, Fatal Frame, Parappa and Circus Caper.
Games parodied:
Circus Caper (location), Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball (travel agency), Pikmin (flowers) , Kirby series (catering), Dead Rising (zombie mall), Midnight Club series (limos), Fatal Frame (photography), Mario series (florist, video, wedding planner), Animal Crossing (tailor) , Parappa the Rapper (DJ), Dark Cloud 2 (photo), Barbie for NES (waterfall mall), Zelda II (invitations).

 Don’t go changing, to try and please me

You never let me down before

Don’t imagine you’re too familiar

And I don’t see you anymore

I wouldn’t leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far

I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times

I’ll take you just the way you are

Don’t go trying some new fashion

Don’t change the color of your hair

You always have my unspoken passion

Although I might not seem to care

I don’t want clever conversation

I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are.

–“Just The Way You Are”, Billy Joel

 (it’s a meeting of the ramble room mafia. the whole group: rufus, algus, edgar, setzer, sephiroth, shell and laguna are all there. rufus has some picture that he’s very happily showing off, but the only ones who seem to give a crap are algus and laguna.)

Rufus: “Look! It’s a boy! A boy! I’m gonna have a son! He’s going to be Rufus Junior! Isn’t he great? A boy!”

Algus: “That’s wonderful news, Rufus.”

Shell: “It was great the first fifteen times, Rufus. We’re all a little sick of that picture now.”

Sephiroth: “I was sick of the picture from the start. You can’t even tell what anything is. It looks like a blob!”

Rufus: “Don’t call Rufus Junior a blob!”

Laguna: “I remember when my son was born!” *pause* “Wait…no I don’t.” *frowns*

Edgar: “We were all happy for you the first several times you showed us the picture, Rufus.”

Setzer: “Don’t we have any business?”

Everyone: “…………”

Setzer: “…Guess not.”

Rufus: “I love being married. Everyone should be married! Who wants to get married? Let’s throw a wedding for someone!”

Sephiroth: “Do *not* look at me.”

Rufus: “What about Lark? We all want to attend her wedding anyway, we’ll have one for her here!”

Sephiroth: “What?! No!”

Shell: “That’s a great idea. I’d love to plan that.”

Algus: “That would be a good surprise!”

Sephiroth: “No!”

Laguna: “Hey hey! I love that idea!”

Edgar: “Sounds splendid to me.”

Sephiroth: “Does anyone hear me saying no!?”

Setzer: “I do.”

Sephiroth: “Thank you! I’m glad someone else agrees with me!”

Setzer: “I don’t agree with you, I just heard you.”

Sephiroth: “How can no one agree with me!? Rufus – you’re insane, you know that? More insane than usual! You and I made a pact to stop this wedding, remember?”

Rufus: *looking at the picture* “He’s the cutest little boy in the world!”

Shell: “I think Rufus has moved on.”

Sephiroth: “Well that’s not fair!”

Edgar: “Do you think Lark would want to plan her own wedding here?”

Shell: “Are you kidding me? She complains enough that she has to plan one at home! She’d be glad to get the help!”

Algus: “Then we’ll make everyone do most of the work for her.”

Sephiroth: “I still don’t like this idea!”

Setzer: “When should we plan it for?”

Rufus: “Well I don’t really like to put things off…so how about this weekend?”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Talk about a rush to the altar!”

Algus: “With our wealth doing things quickly shouldn’t be a problem.”

Rufus: “Elena and I did it.”

Shell: *mutters* “Because she was pregnant.”

Rufus: “That had nothing to do with it!”

Algus: “So are we all in agreement then?”

Everyone but Sephiroth: “Yes.”

Sephiroth: “NO!”

Rufus: *sigh* “Sephiroth, what is your problem?”

Sephiroth: “Isn’t it obvious?! I don’t want Lark marrying that stupid jerk!”

Shell: “Brady’s a nice guy! And why do you care anymore anyway? You’re with Vincent!”

Sephiroth: “It’s the principle!”

Shell: “What principle?”

Sephiroth: “The principle…of…of…of the thing! I’m not alone on this! I may have lost Rufus, but I have others!”

Shell: “You know we’re going to make you help anyway.”

Sephiroth: “True, but I won’t go down without a fight!”

(he leaves. everyone looks at each other)

Setzer: “So I guess we should tell Lark about this.”

Rufus: “Yeah, that would be a good idea.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, franswa and zell are raking leaves outside the belmont house. sephiroth is heading their way.)

Zell: “After I rake leaves all I wanna do is jump in the pile.”

Franswa: “Jump in it all you want, but you’ll be raking those leaves again by yourself.”

Zell: “Aw, come on! Haven’t you ever jumped in leaves before? It’s fun!”

Franswa: *shakes head* “No.”

Zell: “You gotta try it at least once!” *drops rake and walks over*

Franswa: *laughing and backing away* “Don’t touch me!”

Zell: “I’m gonna dump you in the leaves!”

Franswa: *still backing away* “No you’re not!”

Sephiroth: *loudly clears his throat*

(zell pauses right before picking up franswa, who is now frowning. he turns around to look at sephiroth)

Zell: “Oh, hey, ‘Roth! Sup?”

Sephiroth: “Rufus wants to throw a wedding for Lark!”

Zell: “Really? Awesome! I’ve gotta get a gift!”

Sephiroth: “What?! Not you too!”

Zell: “Me too what?”

Sephiroth: “We had an agreement, remember? We were going to stop Lark’s wedding!”

Zell: *blink blink* “We did?” *rubs the back of his neck* “Don’t remember that…must be the GF.”

Sephiroth: “You can’t possibly want to see her marry that idiot!”

Zell: “Brady’s a nice guy! And why do you care anyway? You’re with Vincent!”

Sephiroth: “Grrr! Fine! I don’t need you and Rufus anyway!”

(he stomps off. zell turns back to franswa)

Franswa: “What was that about?”

Zell: *shrugs* “I don’t know.” *grins* “Prepare to get dumped in the leaves!”

Franswa: “You’ll have to catch me first!” *runs away*

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, rufus and the other mafia members find lark and Brady in the tv room where they are playing wii sports, tennis in particular)

Lark: “Boy, I suck at this! It keeps going out of bounds!”

Brady: “You just have to aim it. Don’t you know how to play tennis?”

Lark: “Do *I* know how to play tennis?! Are you kidding me? I used to take tennis lessons! You’re the one who kept wrongly returning the serve in Mario tennis and yet you’re asking *me* if I know how to play?”

Shell: “Ah, nerd love.”

Lark: “Huh? What are you guys doing here?”

Rufus: “Great news, Lark! The mafia is throwing you a wedding!”

Lark: “What?”

Algus: “Since we can’t attend your actual wedding, we’re going to have one for you here.”

Lark: “That’s really sweet of you guys, but—“

Edgar: “We won’t take no for an answer. And don’t worry, we’ll take care of everything.”

Lark: “Oh. Well in that case that’s really sweet of you guys!”

Brady: “Isn’t Sephiroth part of your club?”

Laguna: “You bet he is! I think he’s in charge of beating people up!”

Brady: “Then where is he?”

Rufus: “Uh…on assignment.”

Brady: “On assignment? What does that even mean?”

Setzer: “So your wedding is this weekend.”

Lark: “This weekend?!”

Rufus: “Rich people don’t like waiting.”

Algus: “No worries! We’ll research vendors for you and everything.”

Shell: “All you’ll have to do is pick out a new dress. And who doesn’t like shopping?”

Lark: “…All right.”

Rufus: “Great! All right, mafia! Let’s get to work!”

(the mafia all leave. lark and Brady look at each other)

Lark: “…I thought I’d never say this, but I think we have a pick a bridal party of video game characters.”

Brady: “I think most of these guys hate me.”

Lark: “They don’t hate you!”

Brady: “Sephiroth definitely hates me. And I hate him. He’s on assignment all right. An assignment of spreading lies.”

Lark: “If you can’t pick people for your side I’ll do it for you.”

Brady: “No Sephiroth.”

Lark: “What? But—“

Brady: “No Sephiroth. I don’t want him in my bridal party.”

Lark: *frowns* “…Fine. I guess I can understand that.”

Brady: “You can pick anyone else you want, but keep him out of it. And I get to pick my own best man.”

Lark: “Who’re you gonna pick for that?”

Brady: “The guy I picked to begin with! Where’s my Nextel? I’ve gotta call Dirk.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, sephiroth goes to reno, who is sitting with sunshine on the porch swing)

Sunshine: “So why won’t you tell me why your Thanksgiving was so bad?”

Reno: “You’re lucky you got me to sit on the porch swing. I’m not about to spill my guts, baby.”

Sunshine: “Oh I see how it is.”

Sephiroth: “Reno!”

Reno: “What?”

Sephiroth: “I know you’ll help me stop Lark’s wedding!”

Reno: *blink blink* “What?”

Sephiroth: “The other mafia members are trying to throw a wedding for her! You have to help me stop it!”

Reno: “Why?”

Sephiroth: “Why?!” *annoyed sigh* “Because! We can’t let her marry that jackass!”

Sunshine: “He seems like a nice enough guy to me.”

Sephiroth: “What do you know – you’re dating Reno! He’s complete sleeze!”

Sunshine: “We’re not dating!”

Reno: “Way to get me on board by insulting me right in front of myself, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: “What! You know you’re sleezy!”

Reno: “I’ll pass. And besides, why should you even give a crap about Lark getting married anymore? You’re with Vincent, right? Now can you leave? We were trying to have a conversation.”

Sephiroth: “Fine! I don’t want your help anyway!”

(he stomps off.)

Sunshine: “Why would you ever want to stop Lark’s wedding anyway?”

Reno: *shrugs* “Eh, I never slept with her. Guess I just kinda took that one for granted. She used to be pretty easy.”

Sunshine: “Reno!”

Reno: “What! She was!” *pause* “Did I ever tell you the story about her and the pirate…?”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(sephiroth hasn’t given up yet. next he goes to the pool area where zidane and bryatt are swimming together. or more like zidane is swimming and bryatt is sitting on the steps)

Zidane: “You said you wanted to swim!”

Bryatt: “No…I said I’d go in the pool. Not the same thing. Going in the pool requires no physical exertion.”

Zidane: *rolls eyes* “Way to get technical.”

Bryatt: “That’s how I live my life.”

Sephiroth: “Zidane!”

Zidane: “What? Did Algus send you? Because he can go to hell. He made me make him a bathtub full of ice cubes. I had to run back and forth from the ramble room carrying those things! And they were cold! And most of them melted before I got there! And then when I finally filled up the tub he said he didn’t want it anymore!”

Sephiroth: *blank stare*

Bryatt: “…Why didn’t you just put the ice cubes in a bowl or something?”

Zidane: *blink blink* “Oh. Yeah. That would have been a good idea.”

Sephiroth: “You’re an idiot. Anyway, we have more important things to worry about! Something very, very bad is about to go down! And it must be stopped!”

Bryatt: “And what might this apocalyptic event be?”

Sephiroth: “Lark’s wedding!”

Zidane: “So she’s finally taking the plunge, huh? That’ll be a cool wedding.”

Sephiroth: “No!! Not you too!”

Zidane: “What?”

Sephiroth: “I thought we agreed we were going to stop this wedding!”

Zidane: *thinks* “…Oh. Right. Yeah, but that was like over a year ago. She’s happy. Why would I wanna screw with that?”

Bryatt: “And you’re with Vincent now anyway.”

Sephiroth: “Well screw *you* then! You, Zell, Rufus and Reno are all pathetic! I’m gonna go to the one guy I *know* won’t let me down!”

(he stomps out. bryatt looks at zidane)

Bryatt: “Who’s he talking about?”

Zidane: *shrugs* “The hell if I know. Now get in the pool!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(who is sephiroth talking about? well irvine and trini are making out in the back of irvine’s car when sephiroth not so unobtrusively knocks on the window)

Trini: *pushing away from irvine* “What does he want?”

Irvine: “I don’t know. But I hope it’s a punch in the face.”

Trini: “He doesn’t wanna join in, does he?”

Irvine: “Ugh! Don’t even go there, baby!” *rolls down the window* “What is it, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: “May day! May day! We have to stop Lark’s wedding! Everyone else backed out, but I know I can count on you!”

Irvine: *blink blink* “The what?”

Sephiroth: “Are you high? I said Lark is finally getting married! And we have to stop it! We had a pact!”

Irvine: “Oh.” *pause* “Well I kinda don’t really care anymore.”

Sephiroth: “What?! Is it because you’re dating this skank? Because she’ll dump you for someone hotter!”

Trini: “Hey!”

Irvine: “Hey!” *pause* “We are *not* dating!”

Sephiroth: “You’ve let me down, Irvine. You were supposed to be a man whore! What happened to you?!”

Irvine: “I’m still a man whore. I just think you should let Lark lead her life and stop tryin’ to interfere! Besides, you’re with Vincent now, right?”

Sephiroth: “Arrrrgh! What has that got to do with anything?! Fine! I’ll do it myself!”

(he stomps off. irvine rolls back up the window and looks at trini with a grin)

Irvine: “Now where were we?”

Trini: “You let him call me a skank!”

Irvine: “Baby, you called yourself a skank when we first hooked up, remember?”

Trini: *blink blink* “Oh right. I did.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, across the street at dante’s condo, alucard and dante are sitting in the living room listening to jay-z’s new album with disgusted expressions.)

Dante: “…Do you think this sucks as much as I do?”

Alucard: “Yes.”

Dante: *turns it off* “What a shame. Oh well. Did you get a good look at the guys who moved in?”

Alucard: “Doesn’t one of them work at the club?”

Dante: “Yup. Sure beats the freaks with the diseased mouse.”

Alucard: “Was it diseased or just disturbed?”

Dante: “Either way I don’t wanna know.”

(there’s a knock at the door)

Dante: *sigh* “I guess I’ll have to get it since Lloyd BROKE HIS FOOT YELLING AT THE CLOSET!”

Lloyd’s voice: *yells* “$%^# you, Dante! I know it ate my glove!”

Dante: “Who could this be?”

(he opens the door and it’s sephiroth.)

Sephiroth: “I don’t suppose you want to stop Lark’s wedding.”

Dante: *stares* “…Is this what desperation looks like?”

Sephiroth: “Oh *why* did I bother?!” *stomps away*

Dante: *closes door and goes back over to alucard*

Alucard: “Who was that?”

Dante: “A waste of my time.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(and so sephiroth goes back to his own room looking defeated. vincent is sitting on the bed reading a book when sephiroth comes in and flops down face first on the bed. vincent looks at him but doesn’t say anything.)

Sephiroth: “…Vincent?”

Vincent: “Yes, angel?”

Sephiroth: “You don’t want to help me stop Lark’s wedding, do you?”

Vincent: “No, angel.”

Sephiroth: “I don’t want her to marry that jerk!”

Vincent: “Why?”

Sephiroth: “Because! …He’s a jerk.”

Vincent: “I don’t believe your opinion matters to her, angel.”

Sephiroth: “It should! My opinion is very valuable!”

Vincent: “You seem to be the only one with that opinion.”

Sephiroth: “It’s not my fault if everyone else is stupid!” *pause* “Do you think Twilight would wanna help me? I forgot to ask him.”

Vincent: “I really doubt it.”

Sephiroth: “Well what am I going to do, Vincent? She’s making a big mistake!”

Vincent: “Angel, I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but you often hold grudges against people for no reason.”

Sephiroth: “…No. I never do that.”

Vincent: “I can list at least a dozen people—“

Sephiroth: “Fine! What’s your point?”

Vincent: “My point is that if you let go of these feelings, perhaps you will be able to see people for who they are. Like Brady for example.”

Sephiroth: “I really don’t think there’s much there to see.”

Vincent: “Angel…since you value Lark as a friend I really believe you must honor her decision and try not to interfere. She’ll only resent you for it. And I don’t believe you wish you alienate her, do you?”

Sephiroth: “………” *mutters* “I still don’t like him.”

Vincent: *smile* “I assume that means you’ll stop trying to stop the wedding?”

Sephiroth: “……………”

Vincent: “It’s for the best.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(the next day, the mafia has gathered all the major players of the ramble room. dante, alucard and franswa are also there.)

Rufus: “Now that everyone has their assignment, you have to get out there and book your vendor!”

Ashley: “I don’t really think you can make a whole wedding in a few days. Even you and Elena spent more time than that. This isn’t some kind of Vegas drive through wedding!”

Rufus: “I thought about that but figured there were too many bad memories. Anyway, we’re wasting time. Everybody get going!”

(everyone clears out except for rufus, max, lark, Brady, shell, sephiroth, algus, vincent, tseng and some other guy with dark hair and a beard. this is the infamous Dirk.)

Dirk: “So where exactly do you have a wedding in a neutral dimension?”

Rufus: “At a very nice place. Trust me. Are we ready to go?”

Sephiroth: “Who’s this guy?” *points to Dirk*

Dirk: “I’m Dirk.”

Lark: “Sephy, Brady introduced him to everyone already. Where were you?”

Sephiroth: “Not listening to Brady.”

Vincent: “Angel…”

Sephiroth: “And who’s in the bridal party? You haven’t announced that yet either!”

Tseng: “Yes they have.”

Sephiroth: “No they haven’t! I didn’t hear anything about it!”

Lark: “Well…we only told the people who are in it.”

Sephiroth: *blink blink* “*What*?!”

Brady: “Yeah. You’re not in it.”

Sephiroth: “What?! That’s impossible! This was all your doing, wasn’t it! You’re evil! I’ll get you for this!”

Lark: “Sephy, calm down. I’ll find something else for you to do.”

Sephiroth: *glares* “This isn’t over.”

Algus: “Let’s get going. Time is money!”

(they walk out. sephiroth looks at tseng)

Sephiroth: “Are you in it?”

Tseng: “Well…”

Sephiroth: “Oh rub it in!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(so this same group goes to a place where there is a large brightly colored tent set up. the parking lot is jammed. Brady is the one driving.)

Rufus: “What the hell is going on here?! Why is that hideous tent set up? They said we could have our own tent!”

Dirk: “It looks like a—“

Vincent: “Please don’t say it.”

Sephiroth: “What!? What?! Looks like a what?!”

Lark: “This parking lot is packed! Maybe a couple of us should get out while the rest of us look for a spot.”

Shell: “I will.”

Sephiroth: “Me too. Anything to get away from Brady.”

Lark: “Sephiroth!”

Sephiroth: “Sorry, Lark. I’m not in the bridal party. I can insult as much as I want.”

Brady: “Get out of the damn car.”

(he stops and sephiroth and shell get out. then the car takes off again to find a spot)

Shell: “Brady doesn’t like you. That’s why you’re not in the bridal party.”

Sephiroth: “Well the feeling is mutual!” *pause* “Who is in it?”

Shell: “Well I’m the maid of honor and Dirk is the best man. Ashley, Tifa, Elena, Kuja and Rinoa are bridesmaids—“

Sephiroth: “Kuja! He’s a man!”

Shell: “Nine out of ten people can’t tell.”

Sephiroth: “Fine, go on.”

Shell: “Reno and Zidane are ushers. And Rufus, Tseng, Irvine, Zell and Vincent are groomsmen.”

Sephiroth: “Vincent is a groomsman?! He has that freakish claw!”

Shell: “Not anymore.”

Sephiroth: *blink blink* “Oh yeah.”

Shell: “It wasn’t an easy decision for her to make.”

Sephiroth: “That group of traitors! They betrayed me! I’ve been betrayed!”

Shell: “Give it a rest. It’s not going to change anything. If you had been nicer to Brady you could have been in it too.”

Sephiroth: *pouts* “Never.”

Shell: “Anyway, we’re supposed to be checking this place out.”

(they walk down a little ways, trying to figure out what exactly is going on. but it isn’t easy.)

Shell: “I don’t see any signs or anything.”

?????: “You kids wanna see the show?”

(they turn around and see a clown standing in front of a card table. sephiroth’s eyes get wide)

Sephiroth: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” *runs away*

Clown: *confused*

Shell: “He…has issues. So is there a circus in town?”

Clown: “You bet there is! The best circus in the world! Only it’s sold out.”

Shell: “Whatever.”

Clown: “But if you win my dice game you can get a chance to win a ticket!”

Shell: *shrugs* “Okay.” *rolls the dice*

Clown: “Winner!”

Shell: *blink blink* “You didn’t even look at the dice.”

Clown: “Here’s your ticket! Go right in!”

Shell: *takes it with a shrug* “Might as well scope out the area.”

(she goes inside. the clown then goes off. the rest of the group then appears)

Rufus: “No one told me there was a circus here!”

Max: “A circus! Cool! Daddy, can we see it?”

Rufus: “Not right now, Max.”

Algus: “Disgusting. Look at all these peasants flocking to see this display!”

Lark: “Where are Sephiroth and Shell?”

Vincent: “Well…knowing Sephiroth…the second he found out it was a circus…”

Brady: “Serves him right for being a jerk.”

Dirk: “Yeah.”

Tseng: “I think I hear someone crying.”

(they walk around to the side of the tent where sephiroth is indeed sitting there, knees drawn to his chest, crying. he quickly wipes his face as everyone comes over)

Sephiroth: *mutters* “Damn allergies.”

Vincent: “Here you are, angel.”

Sephiroth: *stands up* “This doesn’t look like a good place to have a wedding to me.”

Algus: “It looked lovely on the website.”

Lark: “Where’s Shell?”

Sephiroth: “I don’t know. There was this…thing with make-up and a crazy wig—“

Dirk: “Clown?”

Sephiroth: *glare* “*Yes*. Maybe she talked to it. I…uh…felt my allergies coming on and had to go.”

Dirk: “Crying because you’re afraid of clowns isn’t an allergy.”

Sephiroth: *glares* “I know ways to kill you that you’ve never even imagined.”

Lark: “Sephy, stop it!” *sigh* “All right, let’s find Shell.”

Sephiroth: “You go ahead. I’ll stay here and…uh…make sure my allergies don’t come back.”

Tseng: “Let’s go, Sephiroth. Don’t wuss out.”

Sephiroth: “I’m not wussing out! I can’t wuss out! That’s physically impossible!”

(but tseng practically has to drag him along back to the front of the tent. the area is suddenly quiet)

Brady: “Where’d everybody go?”

Voice: “I have your sister now! Mwa haa haa haa!”

Lark: “What the?! Who the hell?!”

(they all turn around to see a creepy guy in a black cape just hovering in the air)

Creepy Guy: “I’m Mr. Magic!”

Lark: *hand to her head* “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Mr. Magic: “You’ll never find your sister now! Mwa haa haa!”

(he disappears. lark still has her hand to her head)

Max: *hides behind rufus* “I wanna go home!”

Tseng: “What was all that?”

Lark: “I don’t believe this.”

Algus: “That man is a kidnapper! We must call the authorities!”

Lark: “No, no, no. We’ll just go in there and find her.”

Rufus: “Go in there and find her? Let’s just call the cops!”

Sephiroth: “I am NOT going in there!”

Lark: “Don’t you see? This is the exact plot of Circus Caper!”

Brady: “Oh god. Not that stupid game.”

Lark: “Exactly.”

Brady: “I am not jumping over a flame with a stupid bear/dog/whatever the hell that thing was.”

Lark: “I really think it was a bear.”

Sephiroth: “It’s really easy to call the police. Just three numbers. 911. Even Brady could remember it.”

Brady: “Ha ha.”

Dirk: “He’s just chicken ‘cause he’s scared of clowns.”

Sephiroth: *twitch* “Kill you!”

Vincent: “Easy, angel.”

Rufus: “I have a child! I better stay outside!”

Algus: “Not knowing what the flooring is like inside I best keep my 10 thousand dollar shoes on this side of the tent.”

Lark: “Anyone else whimping out?”

Sephiroth: “Well my allergies—“

Dirk: *cough* “Wuss.” *cough*

Sephiroth: *glares* “I’m in.”

Lark: “All right, let’s go.”

(so she, Brady, Dirk, tseng, vincent and sephiroth all head inside the tent)

Rufus: “You better be quick! We have other stuff to do today!”

Max: “Daddy, are they gonna come back alive?”

Rufus: *frowns* “You’ve been watching too much TV with Uncle Reno.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, reno, irvine, trini, rude and dante arrive on a beach somewhere. it’s very sunny.)

Reno: “I heard there’s gonna be an escort card table at this wedding!”

Irvine: “A prostitute bar? Awesome!”

Rude: “…It’s not a prostitute bar. It’s a bunch of cards that tell you where to sit.”

Reno: *frowns* “Oh.”

Irvine: “That’s no fun.”

Reno: *looks around* “Weirdest travel agency I ever saw.”

Trini: “Wish I brought my bathing suit!”

Irvine: “That’s okay, baby. I’d love to see ya swim naked anytime.” *grin*

Reno: “Dude, not in front of me.”

Rude: *peers over the top of his sunglasses* “Whoa.”

Reno: “What is it, man?”

(rude just motions for reno to turn around. when he does he sees a bunch of girls in skimpy bikinis with huge boobs playing volleyball. reno’s jaw drops)

Reno: “Am I dead? Because I must be in heaven!”

Irvine: *wide eyes* “Oh mama…”

Rude: *still staring*

Trini: “Men.” *looks at dante* “Well except you.”

Dante: “I’m gay. So not interested. Besides, if those things were any more fake they’d be painted on.”

Trini: “Yeah! Mine are real!” *pokes irvine* “Mine are real, Irvine!”

Irvine: *mutters totally out of it* “That’s nice, Squall.”

Trini: “Squall?!”

Reno: *in a trance* “Let’s go over there.”

Rude: “Uh-huh.”

(they walk over to the girls. trini and dante follow. the girls stop playing and look over at them)

Kasumi: “Oh no! Boys! Guess that means no naked swimming for us!”

Reno: “Hey, don’t stop on account of us!”

Dante: “We heard you have some kind of travel agency here?”

Hitomi: “Sure! Are you looking for a sexy vacation?”

Irvine: “Hells yeah!”

Trini: “It’s a honeymoon for some friends.”

Rude: *staring at one girls chest* “They just keep on jiggling…”

Helena: “Sometimes they hit me in the face. Then I have a black eye.”

Kasumi: “We’ll be glad to help you out. If…”

Trini: “If? If what?”

Hitomi: “If you can beat us in a pole dancing competition!”

Reno: “Best competition ever! Go ahead, Treen!”

Trini: “I can’t do it! I’m not a stripper!” *to irvine* “Weren’t you a stripper, Irvine?”

Irvine: *holding his eye* “Ow…”

Trini: “What happened to you?”

Irvine: “One of the boobs smacked me in the face!”

Helena: “Sorry!”

Trini: “Oh geez.”

Dante: “No worries. I’ve got this sh*t.”

Kasumi: “You? Really?”

Dante: “You know it. Prepare to be humiliated.”

Kasumi: “You’re on!”

(some really bad 70s porn music comes on and the girl starts to dance around the pole. she’s pretty good and finishes with a big smile)

Kasumi: “Top that.”

Dante: “Easily.” *claps hands* “Let’s get some decent music please?” *rap music is played* “Thanks.”

Reno: *looks around* “How’d he do that?”

(then dante does his thing. and he puts the other girl to shame. she’s frowning, but everyone else is clapping as he finishes)

Hitomi: “You really *are* good!”

Dante: “I’m better than good. I’m amazing.”

Trini: “Well great! Can we book the honeymoon now?”

Irvine: *still holding eye* “And can I get some ice?”

Reno: *evil grin* “And can I get a—“

Rude: “Dude. Don’t.”

Hitomi: “Sure! Right this way.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(back to the circus, Brady, Dirk, lark, sephiroth, tseng and vincent are all inside. there is cheery music playing. sephiroth is looking around totally paranoid.)

Tseng: “Where do you think he could be?”

Dirk: “What’s behind this curtain?”

Brady: “No don’t!”

(but it’s too late. Dirk goes inside. everyone runs after him. as they enter they see him being forced to jump over a flame that’s moving quickly across the floor along with a bear/dog thing)

Dirk: “Help! They’re making me play a carnival game!”

Brady: “I told you!”

Sephiroth: *smiles* “Now this is entertainment.”

Dirk: “What am I supposed to do?”

Lark: “Just keep jumping over the flame!”

Dirk: “Am I supposed to make the bear hit the flame?”

Lark: “No! You both have to avoid it!”

Dirk: “Is that even a bear?”

Lark: “I don’t know!”

Dirk: “The flame keeps moving faster!”

Lark: “Well that’s what loosely makes this a really crappy game!”

Dirk: “I don’t wanna jump in fire!”

Sephiroth: *smiles more* “I like fire.”

Brady: “Just make the bear jump in it!”

Bear: *growls angrily*

Dirk: “Ahh!”

Sephiroth: “At least I’m not scared of bears.”

Tseng: “A bear’s way scarier than a clown.”

Sephiroth: “No one asked you, Tseng.”

Dirk: “I can’t keep this up much longer!”

Brady: “Just torch the bear and let’s go!”

(finally Dirk gives up and does just that. the group is immediately thrown out of the area)

Dirk: “Did you see what happened to that bear? This game is violent!”

Lark: “Eh, if you go back in there it’ll be fine.”

Dirk: “You can go back in there?”

Brady: *grabs him* “Are you crazy?!”

Vincent: “Perhaps we should press on.”

Sephiroth: *looking around worriedly* “I don’t know… It seemed pretty safe in that tent…”

(but they keep going. they come to a break in the floor where there’s water and some alligators who are mouth up in the water. their mouths keep opening and closing)

Tseng: “What the…? Why are there deep holes in the middle of this tent filled with alligators?”

Dirk: “Alligators who obviously want you to cross using their jaws of death.”

Brady: “…I’m starting to think I should have stayed outside with Algus and his ridiculously expensive shoes.”

Lark: “…Jump over it, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: “Me? Why me? Make Vincent do it! He’s already missing a limb!”

Vincent: *frowns* “Thanks a lot, angel.”

Sephiroth: “I’m sorry, Vin.” *pause* “Make Tseng do it, Lark.”

Tseng: “You’d probably shove a dying old woman out there before you’d do it.”

Sephiroth: “What of it?”

Lark: *sigh* “All right. We’re going to have to find a way to get through these stupid traps.”

Dirk: “There’s a clown.”

Sephiroth: “WHERE?!” *jumps across the gators to the other side*

Dirk: “Oops. My mistake.”

Sephiroth: *glares* “I liked you better when you were jumping over fire.”

Lark: “Well now that you’re across you can help the rest of us. We’re wasting time.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, edgar, setzer, locke and shadow arrive in the middle of the field looking confused)

Locke: “I thought we were in charge of getting the flowers.”

Edgar: “We are.”

Locke: “So we’re gonna pick them ourselves?”

Edgar: “Certainly not.”

Locke: “Then why are we in a field?”

Shadow: “…I know they’re around here somewhere.”

Setzer: “Okay, Eddie. I give up. Why are we here?”

Edgar: “To get flowers! I heard they have excellent quality at great prices.”

Setzer: “Where?! In the grass?”

??????: “Hello! Are you here for flowers?”

Shadow: “They’re here! Hide!” *lies down in the grass*

Locke: “Um…I’m almost with him on this one.”

??????: “Down here!”

(they all look down to see a tiny guy standing in the grass)

Edgar: *blink blink* “Are you Olimar?”

Olimar: “That’s me! So you need flowers?”

Setzer: “Yeah, for a wedding.”

Olimar: “Well I have tons of flowers! Red, blue and yellow ones! Tons!”

Edgar: “Those are the only colors? We were hoping for some more muted tones.”

Olimar: “Look at my flowers! They’re great! Take them!”

(he shoves some at locke, who looks at them with a frown)

Locke: “Um, I don’t know a lot about flowers, but I don’t think they should be walking around.”

Shadow: “This area is infested!”

Olimar: “Great, flowers. Great, great flowers. You gonna buy some?”

Setzer: “I really don’t think these are flowers. They’re moving!”

Locke: “That one has a bomb!” *drops them* “What the hell is going on!?”

Shadow: “Run for it!” *runs*

Locke: “I’m with crazy.” *runs*

Edgar: “Um, I’m sorry. But I think we’re going in another direction.”

Setzer: “Literally.”

(they all leave. olimar frowns)

Olimar: “Dammit. I’m never getting off this crappy planet!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(back at the circus, everyone is all tattered and tired looking as they stumble into the next area.)

Tseng: “I thought those alligators would never end!”

Dirk: “At least you didn’t fall in! And that stupid fairy did not heal my wounds!”

Lark: “She usually doesn’t come until well after you’re dead.”

Brady: “Now what?”

Vincent: “Is that some kind of jet pack?”

Sephiroth: “Oh god. Is your sister really worth this?”

Lark: “Hey! I—“

?????: “Now you’ll think twice about kidnapping girls again, you creep!”

?????: *hysterical crying*

(everyone pauses in confusion. then shell comes out from behind a curtain, brushing her hands off)

Lark: “Shell!”

Shell: “Oh. Hey everyone. I don’t think he’ll be bothering anyone else anymore.”

Tseng: “What did you do?”

Shell: “Let’s just say I’ve haven’t learned nothing from dating a Turk all these years.”

Tseng: “Oh boy.”

Sephiroth: “Okay! We can get out of this hell hole now.”

Brady: “Guess we’ll have to go back the way we came.”

Everyone: *groans*

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, laguna, kiros, ward and squall are going into a burger king.)

Laguna: “Hey, hey! I’m glad we’re in charge of the video! I like movies!”

Kiros: “Ward says you’re easily amused.”

Squall: “If we’re meeting with someone to do the video, why are we in Burger King?”

Laguna: “Because the video guy said he’d meet us here! He sounded really knowledgeable!”

Kiros: “Ward says you wouldn’t know knowledgeable if it smacked you in your ugly face.”

Laguna: “That must be him!”

(everyone follows him to a corner booth where sitting there is the person they’re meeting with…hojo?!)

Squall: “I’m not surprised.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Are you the video guy?”

Kiros: “…Ward is speechless by how completely stupid you are.”

Hojo: “You’re the ones who need the wedding videographer?”

Laguna: “That’s us!”

Squall: “Let’s go, you idiot. Lark doesn’t want this creep filming her wedding.”

Hojo: “Lark’s getting married?”

Laguna: “Lark knows this guy?”

Squall: “Let’s go, dumbass.”

(he starts dragging laguna away. hojo frowns)

Hojo: “I guess you’re not interested in my services? I’ll throw in a free porn tape!”

Laguna: “Can we at least get a kids meal before we go?”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(and back to the circus again. everyone stumbles back outside looking even more beat up. well, except for shell. rufus, algus and max run over)

Rufus: “You found her!”

Sephiroth: “Kill. All. Alligators!”

Algus: “Well the good news is the circus is moving, so we will be able to have the wedding here as scheduled.”

Brady: “They better take their *$%#^@$#%^&*$ alligator pits with them.”

Rufus: “What?”

Lark: “Let’s just go.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(in the mean time, zack, cloud, seifer, zell and franswa are ringing the doorbell of a house where the mailbox says ‘kirby’)

Zell: “I’m glad we’re in charge of the food! That’s the best part of any party!”

Seifer: “That’s because you’re a fat ass, chicken wuss.”

Zell: *flips out* “You’re a fat ass, Seifer!”

Franswa: “I don’t understand why they just won’t let me do it.”

Zell: “Because you’re supposed to be a guest at the wedding! This guy’s supposed to be good, right?”

Zack: “Excellent from what I’ve heard.”

(the door finally opens and standing there is a pink marshmallow like creature. everyone stares at it in confusion)

Cloud: “Uh…we’re looking for Kirby?”

Kirby: “I’m Kirby!”

Zell: *blink blink* “He looks like a Pokemon.”

Zack: “And you do catering?”

Kirby: “Yes! I find lots of food in my line of work!”

Seifer: “*Find* food? Like food on the floor?”

Zack: “What’s your line of work?”

Kirby: “Saving the world from a very evil penguin!”

Everyone: “……………………”

Zell: *loudly whispers* “I’m pretty sure I saw this on an episode of Pokemon!”

Franswa: “So you don’t make the food yourself?”

Kirby: “No, but it’s delicious! I eat it myself all the time!”

Seifer: “Well do you have any samples? Because I’m hungry!”

Zell: “See! You are a fat ass!”

Seifer: “At least I’m not a stupid head and a chicken wuss!”

Zell: “You take that back!”

Franswa: “Stop being a jerk, Seifer.”

Zell: “He can’t do that because that’s all he knows how to do!”

Seifer: “And all you know is how to be stupid!”

Cloud: “Both of you stop!”

Zack: “Maybe we should come in and talk about a menu.”

Kirby: “Sure! Make yourselves at home!”

(they all go in the house.)

Zell: *mutters* “Let me know if you see Team Rocket around.”

Franswa: “What?”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(so now Brady, Dirk and shell have met up with Ashley, rinoa, tifa and elena. they are headed towards the mall.)

Ashley: “This should be fun!”

Dirk: “Why are we the only guys going to get tuxes?”

Brady: “The other guys got sent to do other stuff. But I have their measurements.”

Rinoa: “Irvine thought it was hilarious when he gave his as 9 inches.”

Shell: “Besides, we’re also missing a bridesmaid.”

Brady: “I still don’t understand how a *man* is a bridesmaid.”

Tifa: “I’d be more confused if he wore a tux.”

Elena: “What kind of dresses are we looking for?”

Shell: “Expensive yet stylish.”

Tifa: “Does the price really matter?”

Shell: “Yes! Especially when you’re all rich!”

Brady: “Here we are!”

(they pull past some trees into the mall parking lot and Brady just slams on the brakes. this is because the parking lot is full of zombies who are trying to take over the mall. there is total chaos, people are fleeing, stuff is on fire etc. everyone just looks totally shocked.)

Brady: “…Dirk?”

Dirk: “Yes, Brady?”

Brady: “…Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Dirk: “…You bet I am.”

(with that Brady quickly throws the car into reverse and they get the hell outta there.)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, cid, red and barret arrive at a place where there seems to be a lot of people racing cars…)

Red: “Why am I cursed to always be stuck with you?”

Barret: “Yo, shu’ up boogeyman! I can’t hear myself think!”

Red: “That’s no loss.”

Cid: “@$@$#&*#$&&!”

Barret: “I don’t know why you brought us to dis here place, Cid! I don’t see no limos!”

Cid: “@%#^@$#&%#$*$@!”

(they walk over to a guy standing by a flashy looking car and surrounded by several chicks.)

Barret: “Yo! We lookin’ to rent some limos!”

Guy: “…Limos, huh? What makes you think you’re good enough to rent some limos from us?”

Barret: “Yo, foo! What you gettin’ at?”

Cid: “@#%^&*$@%*!”

Guy: “We don’t lend our limos to just anyone. We’ve got the best fleet around. If you wanna rent one, you gotta earn it.”

Red: “I want no part of this.”

Barret: “What you mean ‘earn it’?”

Cid: “@#$^#$^&*!”

Guy: “It means you gotta race me.” *bangs on the hood of the car* “And you gotta win.”

(the chicks giggle. barret and cid look at each other)

Barret: “I ain’t about to race no cars!”

Cid: “@#^&**$%@&*#$&*%^&!”

Barret: “Yo, you crazy, bro! You a pilot! Not no damn NASCAR driver!”

Cid: *cracks knuckles*

Red: “I am not coming to your funeral.”

Cid: “@#$^#^*@$#^&.”

Guy: “Fine. Let’s race!”

(he gets in his flashy car and cid gets into his car. they both pull up next to each other and rev their engines. one of the girls stands in between the cars.)

Girl: “One…two…three…GO!!!”

(and the cars take off and race out of sight)

Barret: “Damn! We can’t even watch the race!”

Red: “I am bored.”

(a few minutes later they hear the rev of the engines again and see both cars coming into view. they’re racing down the stretch, occasionally banging into each other. they’re pretty much neck and neck)

Barret: “Go, Cid! Beat that stuck up #$%@#$@#$%@#!”

(at the last second cid pulls out in front and dashes over the finish line. he then spins the car around and gets out of the car, casually lighting a new cigarette. the other guy stops his car and gets out looking haggard and out of breath)

Guy: “You win. Take it.” *gestures to his car*

Barret: “We don’t want your gay ass car! We just wanna rent some limos!”

Guy: “Fine! You can get your limos! But don’t you want my car? Don’t you guys know the rules of street racing?”

Cid: “@$@#%^$#$&*@$&#$&!”

Guy: *frowns* “If that how it’s gonna be…let’s talk about your limos then.”

(he walks off. barret grins at cid)

Barret: “Cid one, stupid fairy ass dude, zero.”

Red: “Me…embarrassed. As usual.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, algus is now with zidane, bryatt and reeve. they are knocking on the door of a  scary looking house and algus looks rather impatient)

Zidane: “This house looks haunted, Algus! Where the hell are you taking us?”

Algus: “I am taking you to see a famous and ingenious photographer, Zidane. So please try and act like less of a monkey.”

Reeve: “Besides, there’s no such thing as ghosts.”

Bryatt: “You never struck me as much of a believer, Reeve.”

Zidane: “Well I believe in ghosts! I mean look at Algus! He’s gotta be possessed by something evil.”

Algus: “Say good-bye to your lifesavers.”

Zidane: “You don’t buy the kind I like anyway.”

Bryatt: “You’re so cute when you’re indignant.”

Reeve: “It doesn’t look like anyone’s home.”

Algus: “That’s ridiculous! I made an appointment!”

(he just grabs the door knob, and finding the door open, just walks right in. the house is dark inside and very, very creepy looking. everyone goes in.)

Zidane: “Okay! It’s totally haunted in here!”

Reeve: “Just because it’s dark doesn’t mean it’s haunted.”

Bryatt: “Just because it’s dark doesn’t mean it has to be super creepy.”

Algus: “Hello? Is anyone at home?”

Bryatt: “I think I hear super creepy breathing coming from over there.”

(he points to an adjoining room. they all go and sure enough there is someone there. there is a girl sitting on the floor with a camera and a flashlight, rocking back and forth. algus goes right over, everyone else hangs back)

Bryatt: *mutters* “I understand the concept of an eccentric genius, but come *on*.”

Algus: “Are you Miku?”

Miku: *rocking* “…This room…it’s swarming with them…”

Algus: “We spoke on the phone.”

Zidane: “Uh, Algus? Are you sure you have the right address?”

Algus: *snaps* “Quiet, Zidane.” *pleasantly* “I was inquiring about a photographer for a wedding.”

Miku: “The ghosts…I can’t get rid of them all.”

Bryatt: “Uh…okay. I’m a bit freaked out now.”

Reeve: “Algus…?”

Algus: *annoyed sigh* “I am trying to have a conversation here.”

Miku: *screams* “Look out!!”

(she grabs her camera and starts madly taking pictures of where reeve, zidane and bryatt are standing)

Bryatt: “Glad I’m not a vampire.”

Zidane: *wide eyes* “AHHHHH!!!” *points*

(bryatt and reeve turn around to see there’s a ghost right behind them.)

Zidane, Bryatt and Reeve: “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

(but then miku takes another photo and the ghost disappears. she cradles the camera to her)

Miku: “Another captured… I will get them… I will avenge you, brother.”

Zidane: “Algus, I am out of here! You can keep your bubblemint gum!” *storms out*

Bryatt: “I really don’t wanna pee myself.” *leaves*

Reeve: “…Okay…I may have to rethink my stance on ghosts.” *leaves*

Algus: *slowly backing away* “…I don’t quite think this will work out.”

(with that he runs off and leaves the house, slamming the door behind him. everyone is out of breath from running)

Zidane: “Great job, Algus! You find a creepy house full of ghosts where there’s a creepy photographer who shoots ghosts with ghost capturing film. Great choice to shoot Lark’s wedding!”

Algus: “Not every plan goes perfectly. That is why you have a plan B. Now let’s not waste any more time.”

Reeve: *in shock* “I think I believe in ghosts now.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, edgar, setzer, locke and shadow are now standing staring at a row of blocks. at the top of all these blocks is a flashing red flower. they are all staring at it curiously)

Locke: “Um…what kind of flower is that?”

Shadow: “An evil one!”

Setzer: “It does look kind of poisonous.”

Edgar: “I was thinking expensive.”

Setzer: “Where’s the florist?”

Edgar: “I’m not sure…”

?????: “Yoshi!”

(everyone jumps and turns around. there’s a smallish green dinosaur standing there smiling at them)

Edgar: “Oh. Um. Hello. We’re looking to get some flowers for a wedding.”

Yoshi: “Yoshi!”

Edgar: “Nice to meet you, Yoshi. My name is Edgar, and this is Setzer.”

Yoshi: “Yoshiiiiii!”

Locke: “And I’m Locke, thanks a lot Edgar.”

Shadow: “You don’t need to know who I am!”

Yoshi: “Yoshi!”

Edgar: “Right. Your name is Yoshi. Very nice. Now how much will these flowers run us?”

Yoshi: “Yoshi!”

Setzer: *mutters* “I don’t think this damn thing can say anything but it’s own name.”

Edgar: *mutters* “Perhaps I’m not as good at picking florists as I thought I would be.”

Locke: “He just ate a berry and pooped out an egg!”

Shadow: “It’s smuggling drugs!”

Locke: “Last time I follow Edgar anywhere!”

Shadow: “Too many bright colors here! They’ll find me!”

Locke: “I’d rather follow you around.”

Shadow: “Nobody follows me!”

Edgar: *quietly* “Well I’m out of ideas. Those flowers look fine.”

Setzer: “They look dangerous.”

Edgar: *smiles* “We’ll take them!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, lark is now with kuja, seymour, selphie and quistis. they are standing in front of a little tailor shop. lark is frowning)

Lark: “Who picked this place?”

Selphie: “I did! I just think this town is so cute! And there are two really cute animals inside who run it! I think they’re hedgehogs! How cute is that?”

Quistis: “If you say cute one more time I’ll give you a cute black eye.”

Kuja: “This certainly is not the high end boutique I had in mind.”

Seymour: “I’m still disturbed by the passed out sea gull we found on the beach.”

Selphie: “Let’s go inside!”

(they do. it is a tiny shop. one of the hedgehogs, mabel, comes running over. her sister sable is sitting in the back at a sewing machine.)

Mabel: “Hi! Welcome to Able Sisters! How can I help you?”

Selphie: “We’re looking to design a wedding dress!”

Mabel: “A wedding dress! How exciting! Well just step over here and start designing!”

(she brings them over to a design pad. they all stare at it)

Kuja: “This is a joke, right?”

Seymour: “What’s the matter? You incapable of designing something that looks nice?”

Kuja: “No, but I know you are.”

Lark: “I just draw my design?”

Mabel: “Yup! And then we’ll turn it into a dress!”

Selphie: “Let’s each make one! And then Lark can try them all on! Isn’t this fun??”

Quistis: *mutters* “There’s nothing small enough to shove under my coat.”

Seymour: “Why isn’t hot orange a color choice?”

Lark: *gives kuja a worried look*

Kuja: “Don’t look at me, honey. I suggested Vera Wang.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(sephiroth is now with alucard, vincent and auron. and he doesn’t look happy. they are knocking on the door of an apartment)

Sephiroth: “I hate whoever decided to let Alucard pick the DJ. He has the musical taste of a deaf cow.”

Alucard: “I’ve heard good things about this DJ.”

Sephiroth: “I don’t trust any choices that you make anymore. Just look at your boyfriend. I bet there are doctors just lining up to feature him in some kind of medical journal for infectious diseases.”

Auron: “If you had an opinion on the music, why didn’t you make a suggestion?”

Sephiroth: *annoyed sigh* “Because! Do you think I have time for that? Do you *know* where I spent my morning? Because you don’t wanna know!”

Vincent: “Even I was disturbed by that circus.”

Sephiroth: *shudders* “Don’t ever mention that again.”

(finally the door opens and a dog wearing a knit cap sticks his head out)

Alucard: “Are you PaRappa?”

PaRappa: “Are you cops? Who wants to know? Just answer me and we’ll start the show.”

Alucard: “…No…we’re not cops…I spoke to you about Djing my friend’s wedding.”

PaRappa: *blink blink* “What’s your name? My memory’s crap. Must be the drugs. I need a nap.”

Sephiroth: *mutters* “Oh this is a real winner you’ve got here.”

Alucard: “…I’m Alucard.”

PaRappa: “Alucard, right! It’s five hundred bucks! Hand over the money and and you’re in luck.”

Auron: “These rhymes hardly make sense.”

Alucard: “Uh, here.” *hands over money*

Sephiroth: *loudly whispers* “Are you crazy?! You’re giving him money? He told you he’s on drugs!”

PaRappa: “Sweet, dude. Gotta fly. See you this weekend – see ya, bye bye!”

(with that he goes back in the apartment and closes the door. everyone stands there dumbfounded)

Vincent: “…So did we get music or not?”

Sephiroth: “I don’t know, but if anyone’s looking for drugs at the reception I’m sure they’ll be able to score some.”

Alucard: “He comes very highly recommended. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Sephiroth: “Whatever makes you feel better, Alucard. Now let’s get out of here before we get shot.”

Alucard: “Agreed.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, laguna, kiros, ward and squall are talking with a weird looking thing that is sitting on a cloud that has a happy face on it. it is holding a camera that is attached to a fishing pole. everyone looks totally confused by this, except laguna)

Laguna: “So you just float around filming stuff? That is awesome!”

Lakitu: “Well that’s what I do now. Before I went to Rageaholics anonymous I used to drop spiny creatures on people’s heads. But I’m in therapy now and my videos have really helped me through it.”

Squall: “Great. You went from Hojo to a mental patient. Well done, dad.”

Kiros: “Ward says you should have used the yellow pages like a normal person.”

Laguna: “So do you shoot a lot of weddings?”

Lakitu: “Not really. The last job I had was following this guy Mario around. He was a pain to shoot. Always jumping around and changing direction. My equipment is pretty outdated.”

Laguna: “Sounds awesome! You’re hired!”

Squall: “Did you even listen to a thing he just said?”

Kiros: “Ward says you should know the answer to that by now, Squall.”

Squall: “Don’t use Ward to speak to me.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, back at the tailors, lark comes out of the dressing room wearing a horrible looking dress. she is scowling)

Lark: “Who designed this?”

Selphie: “I did! Aren’t the duckies cute?”

Lark: “…Why would I want *duckies* on my wedding dress?”

Selphie: *frowns* “I don’t know… I just liked the duckie brush…”

Kuja: “Well, I’m nauseous. All of these designs are awful.”

Seymour: “I noticed you refused to design anything.”

Kuja: “I can’t possibly work with crappy materials.”

Quistis: *obviously has tons of stuff under her shirt* “This clearly isn’t going to work out. Let’s leave.”

Lark: “What am I going to do?”

Kuja: “Don’t worry, honey. I’ll make sure you get to a decent shop.”

(they all start to head for the door. lark pauses and turns to quistis)

Lark: “And put all that stuff back.”

Quistis: *sweat drops* “Heh…sure thing.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, back to algus, zidane, bryatt and reeve, they are now sitting with a teenage boy who has a camera in front of him)

Algus: “So you have been a photographer for some time?”

Max: “Oh yeah.” *picks up the camera and takes a random picture* “Cool! A ceiling fan! I bet that’ll come in handy!”

Zidane: “Uh…o…kay…”

Bryatt: “Do you have a problem shooting people or something?”

Max: “No, not at all! It’s just that objects are so interesting! I take the pictures, and then when I look at them later I realize I can invent stuff from them! So I take pictures of all sorts of weird stuff.”

Reeve: “Wow! That’s amazing!”

Bryatt: “Reeve, stop it.”

Algus: “Well you’re a far cry from the previous freak we met with. You’re hired.”

Max: “Cool!” *snaps another random picture* “Awesome! A bookshelf! I bet I can come up with something cool now! Like a bookshelf that’s also a fan!” *gets up and walks off*

Bryatt: “…Yeah, because when I’m getting a book off a bookshelf, I’m always thinking ‘man, I wish there was a fan here to cut my hand off’.”

Zidane: *snort* “What a weirdo. You hire anybody, Algus.”

Algus: “I hired you.”

Zidane: “Nice try, but you never really hired me. You just enslaved me. There’s a difference.”

Bryatt: “Nice one.”

Reeve: “Well he seems really dedicated to his work. That’s a good sign!”

Bryatt: “You’d be first in line to buy the bookshelf/fan, wouldn’t you.”

Reeve: “…That wasn’t really the best idea but we’re not paying him to invent! We’re paying him to take pictures!”

Algus: “Quite right! And take pictures he shall. Now let’s get back home. We’re late as it is.”

Zidane: “That’s because we were all traumatized for two hours after that last place we were at.”

Everyone: *shudders*

Bryatt: “Thanks for bringing that up again.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, Brady, Dirk, shell, Ashley, rinoa, tifa and elena have arrived at another mall.)

Dirk: “I’m glad we found another mall that’s not infested with zombies.”

Brady: “You’re telling me. Now all we have to do is stroll in here and—“

Shell: “Wait!”

Brady: “What?”

Shell: “Watch out for the water!”

(Brady stops and looks up and sees a waterfall in the middle of the path. it’s huge and there’s no way around it. the waterfall is not constantly running. it only runs for like a minute, then stops, and then starts again)

Elena: “Who designed this mall?”

Dirk: “An idiot.”

Rinoa: “It stopped! Let’s go!”

(they all run to the other side of the waterfall before it starts up again)

Brady: “That was pointless, but whatever. Now—“

Shell: “Wait!”

Brady: *sigh* “What now?”

Shell: “Watch out for the fountain!”

(sure enough there is a fountain taking up the whole space that operates just like a waterfall. and as they look past it they see lots of the same thing all the way down)

Brady: “You have *got* to be kidding me.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(and finally rufus, tseng and max go into this clapboard house. tseng and rufus look totally weirded out)

Tseng: “What kind of freak inbred town is this? Everyone looks the same!”

Rufus: “Look, I heard this guy does great invitations, okay?” *looks around* “Now where is he?”

(then a guy comes out. he’s dressed like a wizard. and he smiles creepily at all of them)

Wizard: “Hello!”

Rufus: “Uh, hi. I’m Rufus Shinra. I’m here for my invitations.”

Wizard: “Right, the invitations! Why don’t you follow me into my dark basement, and we’ll see about getting those invitations for you. I believe I have some candy as well. Heh heh.” *cough hack*

(he leers at them, licks his lips and goes into the basement.)

Max: “Yay, candy!” *goes to follow*

Rufus: *grabs him by the shoulders and holds him fast* “Don’t you move!”

(Tseng turns to rufus and they begin to loudly whisper so the guy in the basement can’t hear them.)

Tseng: “Okay! That guy was totally creepy!”

Rufus: “There’s no way I’m going down there!”

Tseng: “Then forget it! Let’s just go!”

Rufus: “No way! I put money down on those invitations!”

Tseng: “Well then it’s your funeral! I’d rather follow Hojo down to the basement!”

Rufus: “I’m not going! I have to stay here and protect Max from that creep!”

Tseng: “I’ll do it!”

Rufus: “No way! You go down there! You’re used to skeevy creeps who hang out in dark basements!”

Tseng: “Just what are you implying?”

Rufus: “Just go, Tseng! And don’t take any candy! It’s probably drugged!”

Tseng: “You can’t make me go down there!”

Rufus: “Don’t do it for me! Do it for Lark!”

Tseng: “You do it for Lark!”

Rufus: “Just go!”

(and with that rufus gives him a shove. tseng scowls but he goes down to the basement. there is silence for a minute or two. then there is a loud commotion in which there is a lot of sounds of things banging around and some yelling. then more silence. then tseng comes back upstairs looking a little rumpled but carrying a box. he glares at rufus)

Tseng: “He tried to make me wear a green jumpsuit with a matching hat and tights.”

Rufus: “Is he alive?”

Tseng: “Barely.”

Rufus: “Well at least you got the invitations! That’s the most important thing!”

Tseng: “…I hate you.”

Rufus: “Well now we can go back to the ramble room, and tomorrow we’ll gather everyone together and make sure everything is ready for the big day on Saturday.”

Tseng: “You really think you can pull this off in two days?”

Rufus: “Sure! Why not? God made the whole Earth in two days!”

Tseng: “Um…I’m not really religious, but I’m pretty sure it was seven days.”

Rufus: “Oh. Well. I’m not really religious either.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(the next day rufus walks into the tv room with a smile and a big list. wakka and tidus are in there watching basketball on tv)

Rufus: “Okay! Now I just wait for everyone to check in with me and make sure everything is running smoothly for the big day tomorrow!” *sees tidus and wakka* “You two took care of the rentals, right?”

Tidus: “What?”

Rufus: “…The rentals? The chairs and tables and linens and everything? I asked you to handle that, remember?”

Wakka: “Oh. Uh…we had a blitzball game yesterday, ya? So we…kinda forgot.”

Tidus: “But we won the game!”

Rufus: “Are you kidding me?! This wedding is tomorrow!!” *big sigh* “Okay, fine. If that’s the only thing that goes wrong at the last minute, I can handle it. I can get rentals from anywhere. Or I can buy all new stuff. I’m rich after all.”

(then twilight enters)

Twilight: “Big problem!”

Rufus: “What? What’s wrong?”

Twilight: “I think I have a hole in my pocket!” *picks at hole*

Rufus: *sigh* “You idiot! You scared me! I thought there really was a problem with one of the wedding vendors!”

Twilight: “Wedding? What wedding?”

Rufus: “Lark and Brady’s wedding!”

Twilight: “Hey! Why wasn’t I involved in this!?”

Rufus: “Because you tend to ruin stuff!”

Twilight: “So?”

(cid and barret come running in)

Cid: “#@$#^*$%&*$@%#%#&*!”

Barret: “Yo, we gots a problem! We ain’t got no limos for tomorrow.”

Rufus: “What?! Why didn’t you get them?”

Cid: “@#%@$#%*#!”

Barret: “We did! Cid hadta race this #$%^@#$%^@# and everything, but they just called us and said they raced the limos and wrecked them all! So no limos!”

Rufus: “What?!” *sigh* “Fine! I have limos! We can use some of mine!”

(then reno and dante enter)

Dante: “Problem.”

Rufus: “What now?”

Reno: “Yeah, there’s no honeymoon package.The stupid airheads at the travel agency used the money to buy new swimsuits instead of getting the travel package we asked for!”

Dante: “Stupid sluts.”

Rufus: “Are you kidding me?! We gave them thousands of dollars!”

Dante: “Apparently they’ve got expensive taste in swimwear.”

Rufus: “I don’t believe this!”

(then alucard enters looking frantic)

Alucard: “There’s a problem.”

Rufus: “Oh no.”

Alucard: “We lost our DJ for the reception.”

Rufus: “Why?? What happened?”

Alucard: “Well…maybe you better see for yourself.”

(he grabs the tv remote and turns it on to a news channel. there you can see parappa being lead into a police car wearing handcuffs)

Reporter: “PaRappa the Rapper was arrested this morning after he was caught selling crack on the street corner. The police also found drug paraphernalia on his person. PaRappa is best known for his self-titled rhythm games from several years ago. But after spending most of his money on his lavish lifestyle, he declared bankruptcy and disappeared from the video game spotlight.”

PaRappa: “I used to be popular, I used to be cool. Now I’m in trouble, catch ya later fools!”

Reporter: “This is Sunny Funny reporting.”

(alucard shuts the tv off)

Alucard: “I think the report spoke for itself.”

Dante: “Babe, where did you even go to find this guy?”

Alucard: “I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?”

(Ashley, Dirk and elena enter)

Elena: “Sweetie, there’s a problem.”

Rufus: “Not you too!”

Ashley: “We have no tuxes or bridesmaids dresses.”

Rufus: “What?! Why not?!”

Ashley: “Because everything got wet or eaten by zombies.” *glares at Dirk*

Dirk: “What? I wanted to see if the zombies had totally overrun the mall yet!”

Elena: “You didn’t have to run through all the fountains at the other mall!”

Dirk: “I was tired of waiting!”

Rufus: *hands in the air* “This can’t be happening!”

(then laguna and squall enter)

Laguna: “Hey hey!! Uh, there may have been a tiny problem with the guy doing the video!”

Squall: “Whatever. You never should have picked him to begin with.”

Rufus: “What’s wrong now?”

Laguna: “Well, uh, his equipment kinda fell into lava.”

Rufus: “Fell into lava?! Are you joking??”

Squall: “I wish.”

Rufus: “This is unbelievable!”

(edgar and setzer come rushing in)

Setzer: “Rufus! There’s a problem with the flowers!”

Rufus: “I can’t take much more of this! What’s the problem?”

Edgar: “Well…the problem is…there are no longer any flowers.”

Rufus: “What? How could a florist run out of flowers?”

Setzer: “Apparently these are weird flowers that don’t like the rain…and it rained last night.”

Rufus: “Is this a joke?”

Setzer: “Don’t look at me. Edgar picked it.”

Edgar: “I didn’t hear you veto it!”

Setzer: “Who trusts their flowers to a dinosaur?!”

Rufus: “This is madness!”

(seifer, zell and franswa come running in)

Zell: “Rufus! Rufus! We gotta really big problem.”

Rufus: “Oh no.”

Seifer: “There is *no* food for the wedding!”

Rufus: “No food?! No food?!”

Franswa: “Nope. Apparently our ‘caterer’ – ate it all.”

Rufus: “He ate it all!? This is insane!”

Seifer: “Don’t blame us! Zack picked him!”

Zell: “I thought he was a pokemon!”

Rufus: “This is falling apart by the second!”

(zidane, bryatt and reeve enter)

Reeve: “We have some bad news for you, Rufus.”

Rufus: “I don’t know if I can take any more bad news right now, Reeve.”

Bryatt: “It’s really bad. Our photographer? Yeah. He’s dead.”

Rufus: “Dead?!”

Zidane: “Was killed by his own invention. Guess a fireplace and a propane tank just aren’t a good mix.”

Rufus: “So there’s no photographer?”

Bryatt: “Well I found this old disposable in the back of my closet, but I think it’s already half full of me and my ex-boyfriend posing with characters at Disney World.”

Rufus: “ARGH!!!! What else could possibly go wrong?!”

(kuja and seymour enter)

Kuja: “Lark doesn’t have a dress.”

Rufus: “She *what*?! How could you let that happen?!”

Kuja: “Not my fault. I didn’t pick the shop owned by escaped members of the zoo.”

Rufus: “How is this happening?! We’ve lost every single vendor! All we have left is the place!”

(then algus, sephiroth and tseng enter.)

Rufus: *pales* “No. Oh no.”

Algus: “I’m afraid we have some bad news, Rufus.”

Rufus: “Omg. The place burned down, didn’t it.”

Sephiroth: “Worse. The circus is being investigated in several kidnappings.”

Tseng: “The police says they have to stay there until a full investigation is carried out.”

Algus: “So we have no place to hold the wedding.”

Rufus: *very red in the face* “……………….” *blink blink* “Excuse me for a moment.” *walks into the closet and shuts the door* “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

(lark and Brady come running in)

Lark: “What’s everybody doing? Who’s screaming?”

Zidane: “Rufus.”

Edgar: “We’re…having a few problems with the wedding arrangements.”

(rufus comes out of the closet and sees lark and Brady standing there)

Lark: “Are you okay, Rufus? What’s wrong?”

Reno: “What isn’t wrong. We’ve got nothing!”

Rufus: “Reno!”

Reno: “What? It’s the truth!”

Lark: “What do you mean you have nothing?”

Dante: “All the plans basically went down the crapper.”

Sephiroth: “Nice way of putting it.”

Dante: “I’ve got a way with everything.”

Brady: “So…what does this mean?”

Sephiroth: “Oh well! No wedding! Try again in another two years.”

Rufus: “Oh no! Oh no! The invitations already went out! That was the one thing that didn’t go wrong! We can’t back out of this now! There will be a wedding tomorrow! I’m going to do what I should have done in the first place – hire the best damn planner in the known universe!”

(he stomps out. there’s silence a moment)

Dirk: “Now there’s a man on a mission.”

Ashley: “You think he’ll be able to get a planner at the last minute?”

Reeve: “Even if he does…the wedding is in less than 24 hours! Could they even pull anything together that fast?”

(everyone files out except lark and Brady. lark is frowning. Brady puts his arm around her)

Brady: “What’s wrong, babe?”

Lark: “Nothing.”

Brady: “Come on. I know something’s wrong. Just tell me.”

Lark: “It’s just…everyone messed up. I was really looking forward to having a wedding here…and they totally ruined it. Just like my birthday a few years ago.”

Brady: “They didn’t do it on purpose. They’re just…clumsy and mostly incompetent.”

Lark: *sigh* “I guess.”

Brady: “Besides, why do we need a whole big thing with a fancy reception anyway? The most important thing about the wedding is the part where you get married. The rest is all for show. We can still get married in front of everyone. There’s nothing stopping us from doing that.”

Lark: *small smile* “Yeah…you’re right. That is the most important thing.”

Brady: “We could have the crappiest wedding in the world and everything could go wrong. But as long as I’m married to you at the end of it, I don’t really care.”

Lark: *kisses him* “And that is why I love you.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(later, it’s dark out already and rufus and algus have gone out. they’re hurrying over to a castle)

Rufus: “Thanks for coming with me to meet the planner, Algus.”

Algus: “My pleasure, old friend. So does the planner think we’ll be able to pull off a proper wedding on such short notice?”

Rufus: “He seemed confident about it.” *rings the doorbell*

Algus: “And the planner lives in this castle?”

Rufus: “Well, I know he does a lot of work for royalty.”

(seconds later the door opens, and standing there is toad)

Toad: “Hi! Are you Rufus? I’m Toad!”

Rufus: “Yes, I’m Rufus Shinra. And this is my friend Algus Sadalfas.”

Toad: “Great! Come in!”

(they do. algus is giving toad an odd look)

Toad: “I’ve never done a wedding so last minute before! But I have good connections so we should be able to do it!”

Rufus: “What a relief.”

Toad: “Now let’s just go over what you had in mind!”

Rufus: “Sure!”

Algus: “Um, Rufus – a moment?”

Rufus: *tight smile* “Please excuse us.” *they walk away* “What is it, Algus?”

Algus: “You’ve hired a fungus to plan Lark’s wedding?”

Rufus: “This fungus comes highly recommended! He plans parties for the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom!”

Algus: “Princess you say?”

Rufus: “Yes! Besides, I’m sure the thieving raccoon we ran into on our way over here could plan a better party than those freaks back at the ramble room!”

Algus: “This is true.”

Toad: “Um, is there a problem?”

Rufus: “Nope! No problem at all!” *they walk back over* “So we’ll be able to get the dresses, photographer, DJ, everything all squared away by tomorrow evening?”

Toad: “Are you as rich as you say you are?”

Rufus: “Between the two of us we could buy your whole kingdom and have enough money left over for a second one.”

Toad: “Then we’re good to go!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(the next morning lark wakes up to someone knocking on her door. she looks all blearly eyed as she stumbles over and answers it. standing there are shell, Ashley, kuja, rinoa, tifa and elena. they are all smiling from ear to ear. kuja is holding a huge garment bag. tifa has a shoe box. and elena has a bag stuffed with other stuff. shell has several jewelry boxes)

Girls (and Kuja): “Happy wedding day!”

Lark: *blink blink* “What? But—I thought—“

Elena: “Rufus pulled it off!”

Kuja: “Money can buy everything but love. Even a designer dress at five a.m!”

Lark: “Oh my gosh!”

(they come in and put all the stuff on the bed)

Lark: “So everything is taken care of?”

Ashley: “Everything!”

Lark: “Even the—“

Ashley: “Everything!”

Lark: “You mean even the—“

Ashley: “Do you not understand the concept of *everything*?”

Lark: *hand to her head* “I just don’t believe this is happening.”

Kuja: “Well believe it girl, because it is. And here’s your dress that I lost hours of beauty sleep selecting for you.”

(with that he whips back the garment bag to reveal a beautiful off white satin gown. it’s very plain but the fabric pretty much speaks for itself. everyone gasps)

Lark: “Omg! It’s perfect!”

Kuja: *flips hair back* “Of course.”

Elena: “And I’ve got your garter and your lingerie and all that good stuff.”

Tifa: “And I’ve got your shoes!”

Shell: “And I’ve got the jewelry. A gift from Rufus.” *opens the box to reveal a diamond necklace and earring set*

Lark: “Holy crap!”

(there’s another knock at the door)

Rinoa: “Come in!”

(tseng peeks his head in)

Tseng: “Hey, girls. Your dresses are here.”

Shell: “Finally! Okay, girls. Let’s go get ourselves together.”

Ashley: “We’ll be right back when we get our dresses and stuff.”

Kuja: “I’ll be doing everyone’s hair and make-up so don’t worry yourself about that either.”

(all the girls and kuja leave. tseng stays there with lark)

Lark: “I can’t believe this! After yesterday I didn’t think there was a chance…”

Tseng: “Well you know Rufus. The last thing he wanted to do was let you down. Especially after everyone else let you down.”

Lark: “It’s okay. I know everyone tried their best. That’s what really matters.”

Tseng: “So…do you want to be alone, or…?”

Lark: “No! Not at all! Come see the gorgeous dress Kuja picked out!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(meanwhile, in the ramble room, sephiroth is filling two mugs with coffee and singing softly to himself)

Sephiroth: *sings* “Nobody’s getting married today…”

Rufus: *runs in* “We’re having a wedding!”

Sephiroth: *drops the coffee pot* “What?!”

Rufus: “The wedding is on! All the details are in place! I haven’t slept in 28 hours but I feel great! I love energy drinks!” *pause* “I better take a quick nap…”

(he goes off. sephiroth stands there looking stunned. then he takes the magic 8 ball from his pocket and looks at it in disgust)

Sephiroth: “You lied to me!”

(moments later vincent enters. sephiroth shoves the magic 8 ball back into his pocket)

Vincent: “Do you have my coffee for me, angel?”

Sephiroth: “Did you hear the bad news, Vincent? Lark’s getting married after all! Damn Rufus! Damn him and his money and his commitment to things!”

Vincent: “Now, angel, why is this bad news? I thought we talked about this.”

Sephiroth: “That doesn’t make me feel any better about it! I hated that guy from the start! And now that I’m not in the bridal party and everyone else is, I hate him even more! Why should I be happy that’s she’s marrying someone like that?!”

Vincent: “He’s probably still bitter about that time you slept with Lark.”

Sephiroth: “Oh that was forever ago!”

Vincent: “It was two months ago.”

Sephiroth: “I cannot let her get married to that jerk without me in the bridal party. I just can’t let that happen!” *storms out*

Vincent: “Angel, no!”

(but sephiroth doesn’t listen. he storms over to lark’s room. when he gets there he sees that the door is open a crack and he can hear lark and tseng talking inside)

Tseng: “You must be so excited. I know I was on my wedding day.”

Lark: “Oh, you have no idea! I’ve been waiting for this day for so long…”

Tseng: “You did have a long time to wait. It must have been hard.”

Lark: “Yeah… But I think it’s been worth it. I mean, we’ve had our tough times together – even recently. But in the end we always work things out and I’m reminded of just how happy he makes me. It’s a special kind of happiness only the one you love can bring you. You know what I mean.”

Tseng: “Of course.”

(sephiroth frowns and thinks for a moment about what lark just said. then he sighs softly and knocks on the door)

Lark: “Come in!”

Sephiroth: *comes inside* “Hi, Lark.”

Lark: “Hi, Sephy-sama! Did you hear the good news?”

Sephiroth: “That I did. Is that your dress?”

Lark: “Yup! Isn’t it gorgeous? Kuja picked it out.”

Sephiroth: “It’s beautiful.”

Tseng: “I’ve really gotta start getting ready. I’ll see you later, Lark.”

Lark: “See you at the altar!”

(they both laugh and he leaves. sephiroth looks like he wants to say something but looks shy)

Sephiroth: “So…you…must be excited.”

Lark: “Of course I am! You have no idea!” *pause* “I’m surprised you’re taking this so well. I mean, after you went around trying to get everyone to help you stop this.”

Sephiroth: “You know about that?”

Lark: “I know about everything.”

Sephiroth: “Well…I’m still no big fan of Brady…but I guess you can say I’ve had a change of heart.”

Lark: “Oh? What brought this on? Visited by three ghosts last night or something?”

Sephiroth: “…Let’s just say I understand how you feel.”

(lark looks a bit confused but she doesn’t say anything.)

Sephiroth: “Lark…I know I’m not in the bridal party, but if there’s anything else I can do…I’d really like to help.”

Lark: *small smile* “As a matter of fact, I have the perfect job for you, Sephy.”

Sephiroth: “Does it involve keeping the losers out?” *cracks knuckles* “Because I am ready.”

Lark: “No… I want you to walk me down the aisle.”

Sephiroth: *blink blink* “…Really?”

Lark: “Yeah! It’s kind of symbolic, don’t you think? I want you to lead me into the next chapter of my life.”

Sephiroth: *small smile* “I’d be honored to, Lark.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(later, it seems the wedding is being held on the grounds at the ramble room. how is this possible? it’s december! but two tents have been set up. one huge one and one much smaller one. the smaller one is for the ceremony. there have been lots of white wooden folding chairs set up in side facing the front where there is a beautiful archway of roses. there are also bunches of roses decorating the aisles. zidane and reno are handing out programs and showing people where to sit. the place is really filling up. rufus, algus and reeve are milling around near the back. the following people have been invited and are sitting there waiting for the wedding to start: cloud, zack, yuffie, cid, koudelka, halley, yuri, red, barret, marlene, rude, lucretia, selphie, quistis, laguna, kiros, ward, seifer, steiner, vivi, auron, tidus, wakka, lulu, kimahri, edgar, setzer, locke, shadow, trini, all the gundam wing guys, dante, lloyd, dracula, death, irvine’s brothers, richter, trevor, simon, franswa, juste, hugh, bria, sunshine, twilight, opal, balthier, vaan, basch, and all the losers, except kuja, who are sitting in the back.)

Reeve: “Well I’m glad I got ordained on the internet now.”

Rufus: “See! I told you you’d get to perform more than one wedding!”

Algus: “It looks as though nearly everyone is here. Perhaps you should go back with the other groomsman, Rufus.”

Rufus: “In a minute. I’m just enjoying all the beauty our money could buy at the last minute.”

Reno: *comes over* “Rufus, why are the losers here?”

Rufus: “Because they would crash anyway.”

Reno: “Lark’s gonna be pissed.”

Rufus: “Lark won’t even notice.”

Zidane: *comes over* “Hey, are we gonna start soon? I’m all outta programs!”

Algus: *checks pocket watch* “It is nearly time.”

Rufus: “This is so exciting! Okay, Reeve you get up front. Everyone else take a seat. It all came together! I can’t believe it!”

(he runs off. algus, reeve, zidane and reno all look at each other)

Algus: “He is operating on very little sleep.”

Reno: “He’s operating on something all right.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(and soon the wedding starts. reeve is at the front of the place with Brady and Dirk as the music starts to play. first is tifa and zell, then rinoa and irvine, followed by vincent and elena, tseng and kuja and then rufus and Ashley. then there’s max, the ring bearer, pulling lily, the flower girl in a wagon. finally there is shell walking by herself. lark and sephiroth are in the back, arm and arm, watching everyone go down the aisle)

Sephiroth: “Nervous?”

Lark: “Nope. What’s there to be nervous about? I’ve got all my lucky stuff on. Something borrowed, something new, something…whatever. Okay. I guess I’m a little nervous.”

Sephiroth: “Don’t worry, it’s normal.”

Lark: *laughs softly* “Normal, huh? How would you know? You’re not married!”

Sephiroth: “Yes I am.”

Lark: “No you’re not.”

Sephiroth: “Maybe not formally…but…trust me, I am.”

Lark: *knowing look* “And does Vincent know you feel this way?”

Sephiroth: “Geez, you’re about to walk down the aisle and get married and you still can’t stop harassing me, woman!”

Lark: “Some things never change, Sephy.”

(then the music changes to eyes on me. lark and sephiroth start off down the aisle. all eyes are on them. lark is smiling widely. sephiroth is smiling too, a little. finally they get to the end of the aisle. Brady puts his hand out and lark takes it. Brady then looks at sephiroth and kind of nods his head. sephiroth nods back nicely. then he goes over to his seat.)

Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum

You came along and everything’s startin’ to hum

Still, it’s a real good bet, the best is yet to come

(reeve gives some opening remarks and talks about lark and Brady’s relationship.)

Best is yet to come and babe, won’t that be fine?

You think you’ve seen the sun, but you ain’t seen it shine

(squall comes up and does a reading, how do I love thee? let me count the ways…)

Wait till the warm-up’s underway

Wait till our lips have met

And wait till you see that sunshine day

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

(alucard comes up and does a reading. love is patient. love is kind)

The best is yet to come and babe, won’t it be fine?

Best is yet to come, come the day you’re mine

(then bryatt comes up and does a reading. it’s a selection from the velveteen rabbit. love makes you real.)

Come the day you’re mine

I’m gonna teach you to fly

We’ve only tasted the wine

We’re gonna drain the cup dry

(finally it is time for the vows. reeve instructs Brady to repeat after him. I Brady, take you lark, to be my wedded wife…to love, honor and cherish…)

Wait till your charms are right for these arms to surround

You think you’ve flown before, but baby, you ain’t left the ground

(then it’s lark’s turn to repeat after reeve. I lark, take you Brady, to be my wedded husband…to have and to hold all the days of my life)

Wait till you’re locked in my embrace

Wait till I draw you near

Wait till you see that sunshine place

Ain’t nothin’ like it here

(Brady takes lark’s ring in his hand. take this ring as a symbol of my love for you. and then lark does the same, repeating reeve’s words. then they just join hands and smile at each other.)

The best is yet to come and babe, won’t it be fine?

The best is yet to come, come the day you’re mine

(and then they are pronounced husband and wife and told to kiss. and they do. and everyone stands up and claps as the happy couple heads back down the aisle together.)

Come the day you’re mine

And you’re gonna be mine

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(after that the party moves to the bigger tent. the guests enjoy the cocktail hour while the bridal party take photos. algus and sephiroth are also hanging around as the photographer shoots some photos of Brady and lark together)

Algus: “So far so good, Rufus! The ceremony was beautiful.”

Rufus: “It was. But the reception is going to be even better!”

Tseng: “Who did you find to plan this thing at the last minute anyway?”

Algus: “Did you see the fungus hanging around?”

Sephiroth: “The fungus?”

Rufus: “He’s a…mushroom…looking…person.”

Irvine: “That guy?”

Rufus: “Yeah. Him. He came very highly recommended!”

Tseng: “Well he did get the job done, that’s for sure.”

Zell: “I thought he was a Pokemon.”

Rufus: “You think everything’s a Pokemon.”

Algus: “Well I suppose I should return to the party and enjoy it before the actual reception begins.”

Irvine: “It’s open bar, right?”

Rufus: “Would you stop asking that? I told you yes!”

Lark: “Come on, you guys! We have to line up to be introduced to the reception!”

Tseng: “Man, weddings go by so quickly don’t they? Before we know it this whole thing will be over.”

Rufus: “You’re telling me! I’ve paid for four of them! And only one was mine!”

Tseng: “Four of them?”

Rufus: “Well there was this problem with immigration…it’s a long story. Let’s get to the party!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(and so the whole bridal party is introduced and the party begins with lark and Brady doing their first dance to the song “you and me” by lifehouse. after that the party really gets going and the dj starts to play some dance songs. but lark goes right over to rufus and gives him a huge hug. he doesn’t see it coming and is a little caught off guard)

Lark: “Rufus! Thank you! I cannot *possibly* thank you enough for all you’ve done. Everything is great!”

Rufus: “You don’t have to thank me. You deserved it! And besides, it wasn’t just me. The rest of the mafia chipped in too.”

Lark: “I know, and I’ll be thanking all of them too. But you just went above and beyond for me and Brady. And you don’t know just how much I appreciate it.”

(She hugs him again. shell comes over and taps her on the shoulder)

Shell: “Sis! Are you gonna come dance or are you gonna hug Rufus all night!”

Lark: “I’m coming!” *to rufus* “Rufus. Seriously.”

Rufus: “You’re welcome. Seriously.”

(lark goes off with shell. elena comes over to rufus)

Elena: “What was that about?”

Rufus: “She was just thanking me. Which was nice, but I didn’t do it for the thanks.”

Elena: *jokingly* “Oh no? Then you just like to spend money?”

Rufus: “No!” *grabs her and kisses her* “I’m just trying to spread the joy.”

(meanwhile…)

Sunshine: “Hey, Reno. Looks like we’re at the same table.”

Reno: “Looks like it. You look hot!”

Sunshine: “Thanks! You look pretty nice yourself. Never thought I’d see you in a tux. It looks like you even combed your hair.”

Reno: “Kuja made me do it.”

Trini: “That was a really cute wedding. Almost made me wanna get married.”

Irvine: “I am never sleeping with you again.”

Trini: “I said *almost*! Geez! And even if I wanted to get married – I wouldn’t marry you anyway!”

Irvine: “Hey! Why the hell not?”

Trini: “What does it matter? You never wanna get married anyway!”

Irvine: “I still wanna know why you wouldn’t marry me!”

Reno: *rolls his eyes* “Kids.”

(meanwhile…)

Twilight: “I don’t think I can go around this wedding begging for money like I did at that fake wedding.”

Opal: “You did *what*?”

Twilight: “Uh…hey! You, uh, wanna dance?”

Opal: “Twilight, really? I thought you’d never ask!”

Twilight: *wipes brow* “Phew. Saved myself on that one.” *opal starts dragging him off* “Ack!”

(meanwhile…)

Dracula: “Dance with me, cactus!”

Death: “My Lord, please…”

Dracula: “Let’s do the cha-cha! Or the mambo! Or the cod fish!”

Alucard: “Dad, that’s not a dance. And Death’s not a cactus.”

Dracula: “You say that about all the cacti, Alucard! I don’t think you know what one looks like! And do you know what? I shaved my walrus today!”

Alucard: “You did *what*?” *looks at dante*

Dante: “Don’t look at me.”

Lloyd: “Ew! Is he talking about his…ding a ling?”

Dante: “Lloyd – what is wrong with you? Like this situation isn’t awkward enough. You have to go and mentally assassinate us all.”

Lloyd: “I can say whatever I want, Dante! And call me by my real name, dammit!”

Alucard: “I don’t want to know what your walrus is, dad.”

Dracula: *loudly whispers* “Alucard! I think I ate my walrus!”

Alucard: “Stop it, dad.”

(meanwhile…)

Rinoa: “Oh, Squall. Aren’t weddings romantic?”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Selphie: “You did a great job with the reading, Squall!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Quistis: *inspecting silverware* “Hey…this is real silverware.” *shoves it in her purse*

Laguna: “Hey hey! I just love weddings! And my money helped pay for this one!”

Kiros: “Ward says you’re so dumb you’d wind up paying for your own execution.”

(meanwhile…)

Shadow: “Locke!”

Locke: *rolls eyes* “What?”

Shadow: “I think there’s someone hiding under the table!”

Locke: “No…you just keep kicking me in the shin!”

Shadow: “I’ll get you!!” *dives under the table*

Locke: *stands up* “Who wants to switch seats?”

(meanwhile…)

Quatre: “This wedding is beautiful! Just beautiful! Her dress is beautiful, the flowers are beautiful, the cake is beautiful, the decorations are—“

Wufei: “Enough. Wufei is nauseous just sitting here.”

Trowa: “These knives aren’t sharp enough to stab myself with.”

Treize: “I’m confused as to why we weren’t asked to perform the ceremony, Zechs. I think we have an excellent way with words, especially when it’s concerning love. Because we have such a deep love for each other. And also a love for war… Well, I have a love for war. And banana scented shampoo. But when it comes to war—“

Wufei: “Enough! More nauseous by the second!”

Heero: “Where is Duo?”

Wufei: “Making Wufei even more nauseous by shaking his ass on the dance floor!”

Heero: “Disturbing.”

(lark comes over to them)

Lark: “Hi you guys! Thanks so much for coming!”

Zechs: “Of course, Lark. We wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

Wufei: “Speak for yourself, weakling!”

Lark: “I wouldn’t have missed you, Wufei.”

Wufei: “I wouldn’t have missed you either, skank.”

Quatre: “Everything is just beautiful, Lark! Just—“

Trowa: “STOP.”

Treize: “May I have a dance from the lovely bride?”

Lark: “Of course!”

(they go off together. heero narrows his eyes)

Heero: “I will destroy him.”

Quatre: “Who? Treize or Duo?”

Heero: “Duo. Ugh. Who taught him to dance?”

(dinner starts up shortly after. cid, barret, marlene, yuri, koudelka, halley and red are all seated at the same table. yuri keeps staring at red)

Red: “What. Are you wondering what I am?”

Yuri: “No. I don’t really care. You’re a dude, right?”

Red: “…Yes…”

Yuri: “You know any females of your species you could ho—“

Koudelka: “Stop right there, Yuri. Or I *will* kill you.”

Cid: “@#$^$%&$$&*!”

Koudelka: “What?”

Cid: “Oops…sorry. I meant to say that this is a damn nice wedding!”

Barret: “You expect less from Shinra? He gotta do everything big!”

Marlene: “I like the music! You should come dance with me, Halley!”

Halley: *blushes* “Um…maybe.”

(meanwhile…all the belmonts are at the same table along with tifa, zell, bria, cloud and zack.)

Trevor: “This is a lovely affair.”

Simon: “It would be more lovely without the VAMPIRES here!”

Franswa: “They’re not bothering anyone. This food is great.”

Juste: “It is quite good.”

Zell: “Yup!”

Simon: “VAMPIRES!”

Franswa: “Grandpa two! We’re trying to eat.”

Hugh: “I could go slay them for you!”

Simon: “Don’t make me laugh.”

Richter: “This wedding makes me think about our wedding.”

Cloud: “Have you thought about a date yet?”

Tifa: “A little bit. We’ll probably do it in the summer.”

Bria: “That’ll be so nice.”

Zack: “Cloud and I have been thinking about eloping to Vegas…again. To make up for the time we don’t really remember.”

Bria: “Really? You didn’t tell me that!”

Tifa: “That would be so sweet!”

Simon: “VAMPIRES!”

Franswa: “Stop it! I thought we were going to leave them alone now that we know they’re related to us!”

Trevor: “We said we’d leave Alucard alone. Not that heathen Dracula.”

Franswa: “That’s *your* grandpa.”

Trevor: “…Franswa, go to your room.”

Franswa: “We’re not at home.”

Trevor: “Then just be quiet.”

(meanwhile, algus and zidane are sitting at the same table with some other people and eating their dinner. zidane keeps looking across the room where bryatt is talking to tseng and frowning. finally algus looks over and gives him an odd look)

Algus: “What’s the matter with you? Forget what real food tastes like?”

Zidane: “Almost, but *no*. And why do you care anyway?”

Algus: “I really don’t. I’m just trying to make conversation.” *pause* “You like that boy?” *gestures to bryatt*

Zidane: “…Maybe.”

Algus: “He can do better than you.”

Zidane: *frowns* “Thanks a lot, Algus.”

Algus: “Then again, I don’t know anyone who couldn’t possibly do better than—“

Zidane: “That’s *enough*, Algus.”

(meanwhile…the final fantasy xii guys are seated with the losers…guess rufus doesn’t like them.)

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! They tied me to the chair!”

Nida: “This wedding isn’t as nice as our fake wedding! Remember that, Scarlet? That was the best day of my life!”

Scarlet: *hunting through her purse* “Am I allowed to smoke in here?”

Nida: “Scarlet, you know Sunshine has been talking to that loser Reno all night! You should do something about it!”

Scarlet: “What am I gonna do about it, Nida? She’s an adult.”

Nida: “But you’re her mom! My mom still tells *me* what to do!”

Scarlet: “Did she tell you to wear that pink and purple plaid shirt?”

Nida: “No! But she did give it to me!”

Kuja: “It’s making me dizzy.”

Seymour: “You look gorgeous, Kuja.”

Kuja: “Of course I do.”

Hojo: “You do look quite striking, my pet. And I’m sure that horribly expensive jewelry you purchased for yourself using my credit card wasn’t really necessary.”

Kuja: “Oh yes it was. Especially after the other night. No one should ever even have to think about that.”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Even I’m sick to my stomach!”

(all the ff xii guys look scared)

Balthier: *quietly* “Is it just me…or do you get the feeling someone doesn’t really like us?”

Basch: “To put it lightly.”

Vaan: “…Something smells like a skunk over here.”

(meanwhile…)

Ashley: “Lark, are you gonna sit down and eat some of this really expensive food other people paid for?”

Seifer: “It’s really good!”

Lark: “I can’t right now! I have too many people to thank and say hi to!”

Shell: “If you don’t eat something you’re going to pass out and then you’ll have to thank the paramedics! Right, Rude!”

Rude: “Yes, Shell.”

Lark: “But—“

Ashley: “Would you sit your ass down? Nobody’s going anywhere. The reception is like five hours long.”

Shell: “Six.”

Irvine: *walking by with his arms full of booze* “And all of it is open bar! Yee haw!”

Rufus: “I’m glad I sprung for the extra liquor.”

Sephiroth: “Reno and Irvine alone could drink enough for 150 people.”

Reno: *walks by with arms full of booze* “…Shut up.”

Rude: “Give me one of those.”

Reno: “Get your own! It’s free! Even you can afford it!”

Rufus: *laughs* “Good one, Reno!”

Reno: “Never mind. It’s not funny when Rufus laughs.” *hands rude a beer* “Here you go, dude.”

Rude: “Thanks, man.”

(the music starts back up again, but it’s a slow song)

Lark: “Time to party again!”

Shell: “But you didn’t eat anything!”

Lark: “I will later! Who wants to dance with me?”

Sephiroth: “I will.”

Lark: “Come on, Sephy.”

(they go to the dance floor and start to dance)

Sephiroth: “…Congratulations by the way. I’m happy for you. I really mean that.”

Lark: “Thank you! And thanks for walking me down the aisle. And contributing to this lovely event.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah…well…I guess I kind of owe you.”

Lark: “For putting up with you for all these years? I should say you do!” *laughs* “Just kidding.”

Sephiroth: “We’ve had a lot of good times together.”

Lark: “That’s true. But just because I’m married doesn’t mean those times have to end.”

Sephiroth: “You said it yourself. A lot has changed around here.”

Lark: “That’s true…but we’re still all here together as friends. That’s the most important thing.”

(and so the dancing has started up again. edgar and setzer are standing over by the edge of the tent, watching everyone dance)

Setzer: “This wedding is a lot of fun.”

Edgar: “That it is.”

Setzer: “Do you ever regret not having a big wedding?”

Edgar: “…No. I think ours was perfect just the way it was.” *pause* “Do you have regrets?”

Setzer: “No. Ours was just fine for us. Different strokes for different folks.”

(edgar then pulls setzer close to him and kisses him. then his eyes get wide as he turns his head just a bit to see rufus and algus standing there watching them. they look confused. edgar pushes setzer away)

Setzer: “Eddie, what—“

Edgar: “Uh, Setzer! I think your breath is fine! I don’t know why you made me kiss you to find out!”

Algus: “You two are married?”

Edgar: “Uh…”

Setzer: “It’s over, Eddie. They know.”

Edgar: “How much of that did you hear?”

Rufus: “All of it.” *pause* “Plus what we saw.”

Edgar: “….Fine! I’ll admit it! Setzer and I are married! We were even before we came here! Judge us if you must! But I love him and I will not stop loving him, even if it costs me your friendship!”

Rufus and Algus: *blink blink*

Rufus: “Why did you keep it a secret?”

Algus: “Not like it makes any difference to me.”

Edgar: *blink blink* “…But…you mean…?”

Rufus: *to algus* “This actually makes a lot of sense.”

Algus: “To say the least.”

Rufus: “Well, enjoy the party.”

(he and algus go off. edgar turns to setzer looking totally shocked)

Edgar: “They…they didn’t care.”

Setzer: “I didn’t think they would. I tried to tell you.”

Edgar: “All this time I struggled to hide it for nothing!”

Setzer: “See, snuggle bear? I told you nobody would care.”

Edgar: “Let’s not go overboard now.”

(meanwhile, zidane goes over to tseng)

Zidane: “Hey.”

Tseng: “Hey! What’s up?”

Zidane: “Have you been drinking?”

Tseng: “Well I may not be Reno but I’m not really gonna pass up on free booze. What’s going on?”

Zidane: “Nothing…really. Can I ask you something?”

Tseng: “Out with it already.”

Zidane: “Do you think Bryatt likes me? Well, I already know he kind of likes me, but do you think he likes me in a ‘be my boyfriend’ kinda way?”

Tseng: “You slept with him, right?”

Zidane: “Yeah…but so what?”

Tseng: “So…Bryatt’s not like me circa ten years ago. He only sleeps with people he really likes.”

Zidane: “Really?”

Tseng: “Really. So just ask him out.”

Zidane: “Oh. …I don’t know if I could do that.”

Tseng: “Why? You’re not shy.”

Zidane: “No…but…what if he says no?”

Tseng: *blink blink* “Wow. You must really like him.”

Zidane: “I’m trying to have a serious conversation here!”

Tseng: “Just go for it, Zidane. You’ll never know unless you try. Someone has to make the first leap. That’s how people get together.”

(zidane thinks that over for a minute. and the night goes on. lark and Brady cut the cake and then she tosses the bouquet, which is caught by kuja, much to rinoa’s annoyance. then everyone keeps dancing and drinking until…)

DJ: “Okay, everyone, this is the last song of the evening.”

(lark and Brady, Ashley and seifer, shell and rude, rinoa and squall, tifa and richter, zell and franswa, reeve and tseng, elena and rufus, treize and zechs, twilight and opal, dante and alucard and koudelka and cid all quickly go the dance floor. meanwhile…)

Setzer: “…You wanna dance, Eddie?”

Edgar: “In front of all these people?”

Setzer: “Does it matter?”

Edgar: “…I guess not.” *smiles* “Lead the way.”

(and…)

Reno: “Hey, Sunshine. Wanna dance?”

Sunshine: “How are you not drunk?”

Reno: “Who says I’m not?”

Sunshine: *laughs* “All right. You’ve got yourself a partner.”

(and…)

Nida: “Dance with me, Scarlet!”

Scarlet: “No.”

Nida: “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”

Scarlet: “Fine.”

Nida: “Yay!”

Scarlet: “For a dollar.”

Nida: “You’re not worth half that, you whore!”

Seymour: “Just dance with him.”

Scarlet: “Fine. But only because I’m getting a cramp in my leg.”

Seymour: *to kuja* “Will you dance with me, Kuja?”

Kuja: *sigh* “Let me smell you first.” *leans over and sniffs him* “Okay, I guess I won’t gag myself to death. Let’s go.”

(and…)

Trini: “Let’s go dance, Irvine!”

Irvine: “To a slow song? You can’t grind to that!”

Trini: “So? You still get to touch a girl!”

Irvine: “All right, ya sold me.”

(and…)

Vincent: “…Angel?”

Sephiroth: “What is it, Vin? You wanna dance with me, don’t you.”

Vincent: “I would like to very much.”

Sephiroth: “All right, let’s go.”

(and finally…zidane goes over to bryatt)

Zidane: “Hey.”

Bryatt: “Hey stranger! What’s up?”

Zidane: “I was wondering if…uh…you’d, uh, wanna dance?”

Bryatt: “Why I’d love to!”

(so everyone is dancing to ‘last dance’ by frank sinatra)

Ashley: “Seifer! Stop stepping on my feet!”

Seifer: “Sorry!”

Sephiroth: “You’re supposed to dance on the dance floor! Not make out, cowboy geek!”

Vincent: “Angel!”

Alucard: “This was a very nice wedding.”

Dante: “It was nice even sitting next to Vergil. And that’s saying a lot.”

Alucard: “Um, is there supposed to be a bush *inside*?”

Dante: “It’s probably just Snake. That eccentric weirdo.”

Snake’s voice: *from bush* “Otakon! There appears to be some kind of party! I smell cake! Repeat! I smell cake!”

Zidane: “So…uh..Bryatt. Did you have fun?”

Bryatt: “Yeah, I did. Weddings are great. How about you?”

Zidane: “…Yeah. It was nice.” *pauses then blurts out* “Can I be your boyfriend?”

Bryatt: *blink blink* “Shouldn’t you be asking me to be yours?”

Zidane: “Um. Yeah. I guess. But I’m an idiot.”

Bryatt: “You’re not an idiot. You’re cute. And yeah, you can be my boyfriend. And I can be yours.”

Zidane: *huge smile*

Rufus: “Well Elena, I pulled it off and everything went great.”

Elena: “You did a great job, honey.”

Rufus: “Maybe I should open some kind of party planning business.”

Elena: “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Vincent: “This was a very nice evening.”

Sephiroth: “It was.”

Vincent: “I’m proud of you, angel.”

Sephiroth: “Huh?”

Vincent: “It seems you have finally accepted Lark’s choice. I know that was difficult for you. You’re awfully stubborn.”

Sephiroth: “He makes her happy. Who am I to take that away from her? Especially when I know exactly how she feels.”

Vincent: “Oh, angel.”

Sephiroth: “Plus I got to walk her down the aisle. That’s the best job!”

Vincent: “I’m sure those pictures will turn out nicely. She didn’t look the least bit nervous.”

Sephiroth: “She was a little. But I told her it was normal.”

Vincent: “Not that you would know.”

Sephiroth: “Why wouldn’t I?”

Vincent: “Last I checked we weren’t married.”

Sephiroth: “Last I checked we both more matching rings.”

Vincent: “So?”

Sephiroth: “So?”

(they both lock eyes and vincent smiles a little)

Vincent: “I never knew you felt that way too.”

(and off in their own little world, lark and Brady are dancing)

Lark: “This was an amazing night.”

Brady: “It really was. They really went all out for us.”

Lark: “I couldn’t thank everybody enough. I feel like I don’t deserve it all.”

Brady: “Well you did build this place. You brought them all together.”

Lark: “I know. But that wasn’t anything amazing.”

Brady: “…You know, the first time you told me about this place I thought it was the weirdest thing. But now…I get it. It makes sense. It’s like one big family here. One big really dysfunctional insane family.”

Lark: “And now you’re part of it.”

Brady: “…I guess that’s a good thing.”

Lark: “You bet it is. Because I wouldn’t give them up for the world.”

THE END

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