#187 – Behind the Music…Again

Rude: “I learned a lesson too. It’s called never work for Rufus. Aside from being a Turk I’ve lost every job he’s ever given me. I’ve either been fired, *it’s* been on fire, or it’s been closed completely.”

Originally Published: 9/1/06 . 55 pages

Rufus decides to have a reunion tour for Supa Ego, and this time Lark’s along for the ride. Will things end any differently this time? Or are they doomed to play the same sad tune?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

Maybe the band thing didn’t have to be revisited, but I enjoyed it and wanted to play with it again, especially since it would help move along some of the drama.

(in the ramble room we have irvine, tseng, zell, sephiroth and rufus. theyre all reading different stuff, except for zell. he has a radio and hes playing around with it, trying to get some reception.)

Zell: “Come on…I know I fixed it!”

DJ’s voice: *on radio* “Annnnnnd here’s the last song in our 40 minute music block – this is Supa Ego with ‘Learn To Fly’!”

(all the guys look up at the radio. this, of course, is their old band and one of the songs they wrote this particular one was ripped off of the foo fighters. the lyrics start and irvine starts to sing)

Irvine: *sings* “…Run and tell all of the angels.”

Tseng: *sings* “This could take all night.”

Rufus: *sings* “Think I need a devil to help me get things right.”

Zell: *sings* “Hook me up a new revolution!”

Sephiroth: *sings* “Cause this one is a lie.”

Irvine: *sings* “We sat around laughing and watch the last one die.”

All: *sing* “I’m looking to the sky to save me! Looking for a sign of life! Looking for something help me burn out bright.”

Zell: *sing* “I’m looking for complications!”

Rufus: *sing* “Looking cause I’m tired of lying!”

All: *sing* “Make my way back home when I learn to fly.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “Think I’m done nursing the patience.”

Irvine: *sings* “I can wait one night.”

Tseng: *sings* “I’d give it all away if you give me one last try.”

Rufus: “We live happily ever trapped.”

Zell: *sings* “If you just save my life.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “Run and tell the angels that everything is all right.”

All: *sing* “I’m looking to the sky to save me! Looking for a sign of life! Looking for something help me burn out bright!”

Irvine: *sings* “I’m looking for complications.”

Tseng: *sings* “Looking cause I’m tired of trying.”

All: *sing* “Make my way back home when I learn to fly.”

Rufus: *sings* “Fly along with me I can’t quite make it alone.”

Zell: *sings* “Try to make this life my own.”

Tseng: *sings* “Fly along with me I can’t quite make it alone.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “Try to make this life my own.”

Irvine: *sings* “Fly along with me I can’t quite make it alone.”

All: *sing* “Try to make this life my own… I’m looking to the sky to save me!

Looking for a sign of life! Looking for something help me burn out bright! I’m looking for complications! Looking cause I’m tired of lying! Make my way back home when I learn to fly! Make my way back home and I learn to fly! Make my way back home and I learn to fly!”

(and with that the song ends)

DJ: *on radio* “By request, that was Supa Ego with ‘Learn to Fly’.”

DJ 2: *on radio* “Did you hear that rumor going around about a possible Supa Ego reunion?”

DJ: *on radio* “No!”

DJ 2: *on radio* “There was a rumor going around that Supa Ego was getting back together. They’ve still got plenty of fans out there that about ecstatic about the possibility. But unfortunately it turned out to be false.”

DJ: *on radio* “Too bad. Coming up next! Commercials!”

(the guys look at the radio, then all look at each other)

Zell: “…Really? We still have fans out there?”

Rufus: “Of course we do! We were awesome!”

Irvine: “I do kinda miss performing…”

Sephiroth: “I miss getting the hell out of here.”

Rufus and Tseng: “And all that money…” *stop and look at each other in shock*

Irvine: “Uh…did you two just say the same thing?”

Rufus and Tseng: “No!”

Zell: “You guys, we should totally do it! We should go back out there and do a reunion tour!”

Irvine: “Yeah!”

Tseng: “Yeah!”

Sephiroth: *shrugs* “I guess.”

Rufus: “Yeah! Only this time – we play instruments!”

Everyone: *blink blink*

Tseng: “Instruments? Rufus, you don’t play an instrument. And neither do I.”

Sephiroth: “I sure as hell don’t.”

Zell: “I play the saxophone…kinda.”

Irvine: “I think I’m the only one who plays a valid band instrument.”

Zell: “Hey!”

Irvine: “We’re not a jazz band!”

Rufus: “No worries! I just read about the perfect thing in ‘Rich and Pompous Weekly’!

(he grabs the magazine and flips to a page. he holds it out proudly to show them. sephiroth snatches the magazine and reads the ad)

Sephiroth: *reading* “Have you always wished you could play an instrument, but your busy lifestyle makes sitting down and learning how to play the old fashioned way impossible? Well now there’s a new way to learn! It’s called Quik-Learn from the makers of Quik-Forget! With Quik-Learn you can learn to play an instrument in a week! Our Quik-Learn study tapes making learning a new instrument a snap. All you need is the instrument and a DVD player! Guaranteed to work or your money back! You’ll be shredding guitar or bass guitar, playing piano, or banging drums in no time! So stop buying those teach yourself books! Buy Quik-Learn today.” *blink blink* “Rufus, these tapes are a million dollars each!”

Rufus: “That’s a small price to pay for the return investment!” *snatches the magazine back* “I’m going to go place my order right now!”

(he leaves. the remaining guys look at each other)

Zell: “This is gonna be fun!” *pause* “Why did we stop in the first place?”

Irvine: “I was partying too hard.”

Tseng: “I cared too much about Reeve missing me.”

Sephiroth: “I didn’t really want to be there in the first place.”

Zell: “Oh right. I had that death threat.” *shrugs* “Whatever! We’ve already had our problems! Everything will be fine this time! Right, guys?”

Sephiroth: “Yeah. Sure it will.”

(one week and one day later. the guys meet back in the ramble room, instruments in hand. irvine and tseng have guitar, zell has a keyboard, sephiroth has drums and rufus has bass guitar.)

Rufus: “Okay, has everyone finished their Quik-Learn tapes?”

Everyone: “Yes.”

Rufus: “Good! Because for 5 million dollars we better play better than the Backstreet Boys!”

Tseng: “Uh, Rufus? The Backstreet Boys don’t—“

Rufus: “Did everyone learn that song I gave you?”

Everyone: “Yes.”

Rufus: “Fantastic! Okay, everybody! Supa Ego2 is ready to rock!”

Sephiroth: “Wait a minute. Hold up. Supa Ego2? Why are we Supa Ego2? The band is exactly the same.”

Rufus: “Yeah…but Supa Ego2 sounds cool and new.”

Tseng: “It sounds gay.”

Rufus: “You are gay.”

Tseng: “Yeah, but it still sounds gay.”

Rufus: “Well that’s the new name! I’m the one who’s shelling out all the money to get us back at the top of the charts! Plus it took me 10 minutes in the copier room at Shinra to get you this sheet music! That is a *public* room! Do you know how many people ask me for raises?! I’m an important man! I shouldn’t be down there with the masses! Four of those people were fired! And one of them was Rude – 5 times!”

Sephiroth: “All right, Shinra. Whatever. Let’s just play the damn song.”

Irvine: “One, two, three, four!”

(and they start to play work by jimmy eat world. and Im not going to type out all the lyrics, cause that gets kinda redundant. but its a great song. anyway, they sound awesome playing the song, and irvine and tseng are singing it and they sound great. lark comes in the doorway and is listening. they cant see her because their backs are turned. when the song is over she claps and they all turn around and look at her)

Lark: “That sounded great!”

Rufus: “Lark! This was a private rehearsal!” *pause* “We did?”

Lark: “Private? You left the door wide open. To the ramble room. And yeah, you did!”

Zell: “Awesome! Looks like your money paid off, Rufus! Supo Ego2 is making a comeback!”

Lark: “A comeback? And Supa Ego2?”

Rufus: “A new name for a new generation. We’re going back on tour!”

Lark: “Really? But I thought you all hated it in the end!”

Irvine: *shrugs* “It’s been 5 years. I’ve been doin’ alotta stuff that affects my memory.”

Tseng: “We found out the band is still popular, so…how can we resist?”

Lark: “Tseng? You? You hated it most of all.”

Tseng: “You should remember how good the money was, Lark. You had that band too.”

Rufus: “Yeah! Your band was pretty popular too! You should come on the road with us! You could be our opening act!”

Lark: “Uh, I don’t know about that Rufus. First, half of our band is missing, and secondly the other girls are a little too busy to be going on tour.”

Sephiroth: “But what about you?”

Lark: “Huh?”

Rufus: “Great idea, Sephiroth! You could be our opening act, Lark! I’m sure even more people would turn out to see one of the former members of Naughty Angel!”

Lark: “You think so?”

Tseng: “Sure! We could probably sell out even bigger arenas! That’s more money for us!”

Rufus: “I love the way your mind is working, Tseng!”

Zell: “C’mon, Lark! It’ll be fun!”

Irvine: “Just like old times!”

Lark: “Well…okay! It does sound like fun! And I do miss performing.”

Rufus: “That’s the spirit! Okay, jobs for everyone. Irvine – go get more sheet music for the band to learn. Lark, you go get sheet music for yourself. Tseng, we’ll need costumes for everyone. And lots of them. Go talk to Kuja. I’ll pay him whatever he wants. Zell, I want you to go make up some flyers advertising the return of the band. And Sephiroth, we’ll need people to help us out on the road. So go find some able bodied people with half a brain. I have about a million phone calls to make. Supo Ego2 is back, baby! Rufus will be rolling around in more millions by the end of the week!”

(he runs out. everybody else just stands there and looks at each other)

Lark: “Nah. He’s not excited at all.”

(later, in the ramble room, reno is talking to zidane)

Zidane: “So did you hear? Supa Ego is back. Only now they’re calling it Supa Ego2.”

Reno: “That sounds pretty gay.”

Zidane: “Yeah, but I don’t care. I’m going on tour with them! I’m gonna be a roadie!”

Reno: “How’d you get that job?”

Zidane: “Sephiroth asked me.”

Reno: “He didn’t ask me!”

Zidane: “He said you were too much of a drunk.”

Reno: “What?! But Irvine’s in the band!”

Zidane: “Yeah, but…Irvine’s got talent.”

Reno: “I have talent!”

Zidane: “Talent in music.”

Reno: “I have—“

Zidane: *gives him a look*

Reno: *frowns* “Okay, fine.”

(sephiroth then enters, looking around)

Reno: “Hey, Sephiroth!”

Sephiroth: “What?”

Reno: “You ask *Zidane* to be a roadie, but you don’t ask me?!”

Sephiroth: “You’re too much of a drunk.”

Zidane: “I told you.”

Reno: “I am not!”

Sephiroth: “Are you drunk right now?”

Reno: “I smoked some pot, but that’s not drunk.”

Sephiroth: “I rest my case.” *goes to leave*

Reno: “C’mon, man! Let me be a roadie! You know I’m good for it!”

Sephiroth: “We have enough already. And don’t beg to me like I’m your dealer.”

Reno: “There must be *something* I could do!”

Sephiroth: “The only thing we’re looking for is a back up drummer.”

Reno: *eyes light up* “Back up drummer?! I can do that!”

Zidane: “You don’t play the drums.”

Reno: “So what? How hard is it to bang on stuff? You can do that with pots.”

Sephiroth: “You can’t do everything with pot.”

Reno: “I said pot*s*. As in the stuff you cook with.”

Sephiroth: “Oh. Sorry. You threw me there.”

Reno: “So can I have the job?”

Sephiroth: “No! I had to watch this stupid tape every day for a whole week to learn to play the drums!”

Reno: “Big deal! I could do that!”

Sephiroth: “No you couldn’t. The people aren’t naked in the video.”

Reno: “Aw, c’mon, dude! I really wanna do this! I have a look that’s cool enough for the band! Plus I’ll keep Irvine in line!”

Sephiroth: *huge sigh* “Fine. But if you screw up big time, Zell picked you.”

Reno: “You got it!”

(meanwhile, tseng goes into his room where reeve is with lily. reeve is frowning. tseng comes in whistling and goes right over to reeveto take lily)

Tseng: “Hi, sweetie! Did you miss daddy?” *gives her a kiss on the forehead*

Reeve: “Tseng.”

Tseng: “Yeah?” *starts to walk away and play with the baby*

Reeve: “Is this rumor true?”

Tseng: “What rumor?”

Reeve: “What rumor?! The rumor that the band is getting back together?”

Tseng: “Oh. Yeah. That’s true.”

Reeve: “Why didn’t you tell me about this?!”

Tseng: “I thought I did.”

Reeve: “No you didn’t! And why are you putting yourself through that again?! You hated it last time, remember? You said you’d never do it again!”

Tseng: “Yeah, but that was five years ago, Reeve. Things are different now.”

Reeve: “You’re right. Things are different. You have a child!”

Tseng: “But she has her mother. And you. And I won’t be gone that much.” *to lily* “Right, sweetie?” *gives her another kiss*

Reeve: “Won’t be gone that much?! You were on the road all the time last time!”

Tseng: “Reeve, calm down. Why are you freaking out?! Elena is with Rufus and I don’t see her freaking out about it.”

Reeve: “Elena isn’t married to Rufus.”

Tseng: “So?”

Reeve: “So?! Tseng! Look at you! You cut your hair because Rufus told you to, you’re back in the band because Rufus told you to and—“ *blink blink* “Where’s your wedding ring?”

Tseng: “Oh. I took it off so I won’t be used to wearing it when I’m on tour.”

Reeve: “Because Rufus told you to?”

Tseng: “So what if he did? Rufus is a smart business man, Reeve! Everybody can learn a thing or two from him!”

Reeve: *blinks* “…Ex*cuse* me!? Are you the same man I married?! Tseng, you hate everything Rufus does. You never get along with him! Just a few weeks ago you wanted him dead! And now you’re agreeing with him?!”

Tseng: “Rufus makes a lot of money, Reeve. What’s wrong with cooperating with him so I can benefit from that?”

Reeve: “I can’t believe what I’m hearing. There’s more to life than money, Tseng!”

Tseng: “Don’t waste anymore of your breath, Reeve. I’m going back on tour with the band, and that’s the end of the discussion.” *goes over and hands lily back to reeve* “And don’t argue in front of the baby.”

(reeve watches him leave, looking furious.)

Reeve: “This isn’t over.”

(soon after, the band, and lark, are meeting in the ramble room. rufus is going down a list he has on a clipboard)

Rufus: “Okay, so we have our roadies: Rude, Zidane, Barret, Cid and Laguna. Our back up drummer is *Reno*.” *pause* “That’s just asking for trouble. Anyway, our catering is being done by Franswa, costumes by Kuja and lighting and all that crap is being handled by Hojo.”

Sephiroth: “Hojo?!”

Zell: “Franswa?!”

Rufus: “Okay. One at a time. Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: “Why is Hojo helping us?”

Rufus: “I don’t know the answer to that question, but he said he’ll do it for free.”

Sephiroth: “Probably so he can visually undress Tseng!”

Rufus: “Yeah, but Tseng doesn’t care. Just think of all the money we’re saving.”

Sephiroth: “He probably does care!”

Tseng: *shrugs* “We are saving a lot of money.”

Sephiroth: *blink blink* “What?!”

Rufus: “Anyway, Zell?”

Zell: “Yeah! Franswa’s gonna be making all our food?”

Rufus: “Yup. Him I have to pay. But for food that good I really don’t mind.”

Zell: “So he’ll be coming with us and everything?!”

Rufus: “I don’t know how else the food would get there.”

Zell: “Cool!”

Rufus: “Anyone else have a problem?”

Sephiroth: “I’m surprised Brady isn’t coming with us.”

Lark: “Oh, he’s too busy to come on tour. But I’m sure he’ll come by and visit!”

Rufus: “Anything else?”

Irvine: “I’ve gotta question. Why do we need a back up drummer?”

Rufus: “Because Sephiroth can’t sing and play drums at the same time.”

Irvine: “So?”

Rufus: “So…he has to sing some of the songs. We have to try and do everything equally. We all have lots of fans we want to please. And the more fans we please, the more money we make.”

Tseng: “And that’s the most important thing of all.”

Rufus: “Speaking of making money, let’s talk about appearances. Now Kuja’s going to be coming on tour with us to do our hair and make-up and all that jazz. But I think there’s something we should all do to help things along. Oh, and it all has to do with hair.”

Sephiroth: “Here we go.”

Rufus: “All of you need to get a hair cut. I just did, and look how good my hair looks.”

Lark: “It does look pretty good. Who does your hair, Rufus?”

Rufus: “I can’t tell you his name, but I can tell you he charges 500 bucks a minute.”

Lark: “A minute? Is he cutting your hair or running a phone sex line?”

Rufus: “Anyway, Zell. I think your hair could be toned down just a little bit. So get that taken care of.”

Zell: “No problem!”

Rufus: “Irvine, you need a trim.”

Irvine: “Got it.”

Rufus: “Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: “Shinra, I am not cutting my hair, don’t even suggest it!”

Rufus: “Don’t worry, Sephiroth. Your freakishly long hair is safe. Kuja just suggested you use this conditioner to make your hair have more bounce.” *tosses him a bottle*

Sephiroth: *catches it and looks at it* “Do I use this on top of my regular conditioner?”

Rufus: “Yup!”

Sephiroth: “So I’m up to five bottles I’m carrying back and forth to the shower…”

Rufus: “And that leaves me with Tseng. I think your hair is getting a little long.”

Everyone: *blink blink*

Tseng: “I’ve been keeping up the ponytail.”

Rufus: “I know, I know. And that worked for awhile. But I think you should just cut it short and make is spiky. Kinda like how I’m gonna do it. That way we can balance out everybody else’s hair.”

Sephiroth: “Nice try, Rufus. You may have gotten Tseng to cut his hair once, but he’d never consider—“

Tseng: “No problem.”

Sephiroth: *jaw drops* “What?”

Rufus: “Great. Okay, we’re shipping out of here tomorrow so everyone get a good night’s rest!”

(lark, rufus, zell, and irvine all leave. sephiroth and tseng stay behind. tseng is taking his hair out of the ponytail and running his fingers through it)

Tseng: “It is kind of long…”

Sephiroth: “Are you crazy?”

Tseng: “Huh?”

Sephiroth: “What is wrong with you?!”

Tseng: “You’re asking *me* this question?”

Sephiroth: “What?”

Tseng: “Well there’s lots of stuff wrong with you.”

Sephiroth: “Maybe so, but at least I don’t let Rufus cut my hair at the drop of the hat!”

Tseng: “I’m not *letting* Rufus do anything. I happened to agree with him.”

Sephiroth: “That doesn’t make any sense! You never used to agree with Rufus before! Now all of the sudden you’re his yes man??”

Tseng: “Wow! You sound like Reeve! I’m leaving.” *starts to go*

Sephiroth: “Fine! Walk away! This doesn’t change anything!”

(tseng leaves. sephiroth looks really annoyed as vincent enters)

Vincent: “What’s all the commotion about?”

Sephiroth: “Nothing. Just Tseng being a JACKASS!”

Vincent: “…I don’t think he heard that.”

Sephiroth: “What are you doing here?”

Vincent: “Nothing. I hear that the band is going back on tour.”

Sephiroth: “You heard right. We leave tomorrow.”

Vincent: “I’m surprised you agreed to participate in that again.”

Sephiroth: “Well… You know…”

Vincent: “You have nothing to run away from, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Vincent: “Oh no?”

Sephiroth: *eyes narrow* “Stop pretending like you know me, Vincent!”

(he stomps out angrily.)

Vincent: “…I’m not pretending anything, angel.”

(two weeks later. rufus, tseng with his new haircut, irvine, sephiroth, zell, lark and reno arrive in a huge arena and are walking out onto the empty stage)

Rufus: “Wow. It feels good to be back.”

Reno: “Holy crap! This place is huge!”

Zell: “It bet you could get crazy echoes in here if you yell loud enough.”

Sephiroth: *sighs*

Lark: “This is so exciting!”

Tseng: “And it’s 50 bucks a seat. You do the math.”

Rufus: “You bet I did!”

(they high five. everybody blinks in confusion)

Irvine: “Dude…what the hell was that?”

Rufus: “What? You got a trademark on high fives? ‘Cause I could buy it from you.”

Irvine: “A what?”

Rufus: “I rest my case. Anyway, now that our next album has been recorded and is hitting the shelves tomorrow, we have to be ready to open in concert by the weekend!”

Reno: “The weekend?! Geez, that’s two days!”

Irvine: “The touring schedule was always kinda tough.”

Zell: “That’s okay, we can do it!”

Rufus: “Lark, do you have your songs prepared?”

Lark: “Yup. And I  have my final fitting for my costumes tonight.”

Rufus: “Excellent. And Hojo is working on the lighting as we speak.”

Sephiroth: “He’s working on something all right. He’ll have tendonitis in his wrist by the end of the week.”

Lark: “Ew!”

Sephiroth: “You know it’s true.”

Rufus: “Look at this place! In two days every seat will be full and we’ll be on stage performing, raking in the money and bathing in it in the morning! Well. I’ll be bathing in it. I don’t know what the rest of you plan to do with your cut.”

Sephiroth: “Something less disturbing, I can assure you.”

Reno: “How can you bathe in money anyway? It’s not water.”

Rufus: “Okay, that’s enough! We need to concentrate on practicing our first concert set!”

Zell: “First set?”

Rufus: “Yeah. I didn’t mention it? We’re changing our songs every week. We need to stay fresh if we want to bring the fans in!”

Irvine: “Change every week? That’s alotta extra work!”

Tseng: “But it’ll be worth it.”

Rufus: “That’s right, Tseng. It’ll be more than worth it. Okay! Let’s go get our instruments!”

(the next day, rinoa, and selphie rush into the ramble room and over to the cd player. there are several guys in the room)

Rinoa: “The new Supa Ego CD is out!”

Selphie: “You mean Supa Ego2!”

Squall: “Whatever. We recycling that plot again?”

Algus: “Rufus has certainly done it this time! He’s probably bathing in a batch of fresh money right now! Although I can’t say I’m happy he took my slave on his tour.”

Seifer: “I’m glad! Chicken wuss is gone! Now the ramble room doesn’t smell like Bengay!”

Squall: “You use Bengay.”

Seifer: “No I don’t, Squall!”

(yuffie and quistis rush in)

Yuffie: “Did you get the new Supa Ego2 CD?”

Quistis: “I meant to steal…er…lift…er…snatch…er…uh…what’s it called when you take something from the store but you don’t steal it?”

Rinoa: *blink blink* “*Buy*?”

Quistis: “Right! I was going to buy it, but I wanted to see if you had it first.”

Yuffie: “Is it good?”

Selphie: “I don’t know! We just got it!”

Squall: “I’m getting out of here.”

Seifer: “I’ll join you!”

Squall: “No. You smell like Bengay.”

Seifer: “Screw you, Squall! No I don’t!”

(squall and seifer leave. Then elena-with lily- reeve and vincent enter as the first song off the cd starts to play. its work by jimmy eat world)

Elena: “Oh! Is this the new CD? How exciting!”

Rinoa: “Yeah! We just bought it!”

Reeve: *shakes head* “I’m leaving.”

Vincent: “What’s wrong? Don’t like the music?”

Reeve: “I don’t anymore.”

(he stomps out. elena frowns)

Elena: “He’s been really edgy since Tseng left.”

Vincent: “I see.”

Elena: “I mean, of course I miss Rufus and Tseng. And they were both a huge help to me with the baby, but Reeve’s still here. And she’s good, so I’ll manage. I’m just glad they’re doing something that makes them happy.”

Vincent: “I see. Well if you need help with the baby I’m certainly available.”

Elena: “Aw, that’s sweet of you. But we’ll be okay.”

Vincent: “…Is it the claw?”

Elena: “No.”

Vincent: “Because people are usually turned off by the claw.”

Elena: “It’s not the claw!”

(meanwhile, it is the day of the first supa ego2 concert! whoo hoo, I guess. I bet you never thought youd see the band again, did you. anyway, kuja is in his little area getting ready to do hair and make-up. looks like tseng is up first. he plops in the chair.)

Tseng: “Ugh. My pores look awful. Look at me. And I have to go on stage.”

Kuja: “Are you kidding me? Honey, you are gorgeous. Have you seen Seymour? Now *he’s* got bad pores.”

Tseng: “Well when looks are all you have I guess you notice stupid things like that.”

Kuja: “It’s not stupid to look at your pores. More people should! I am dreading when Zell comes over here. Omg, he majorly, majorly needs a facial.” *he squirts some stuff in his hands and starts playing with tseng’s hair*

Tseng: “What do you think of the new cut?”

Kuja: “I think it’s adorable. But I have to admit I was a bit surprised.”

Tseng: “You too? Why is everyone so surprised I cut my hair? There are things more important than hair!”

Kuja: “Right. Like good mascara application.”

(zell comes over stuffing his mouth with a brownie)

Zell: “Did you see all the food over there Franswa made? It’s so good! You guys should have some!”

Kuja: “Don’t stuff yourself like a pig. I am not a seamstress, so no one’s going to alter your costumes when you get fat.”

Zell: *frowns then notices franswa walking by* “Hey, Franswa!” *runs over to him*

Franswa: “Oh! Hi, Zell!”

Zell: “This brownie is great.”

Franswa: “Thanks. I could not be happier right now.”

Zell: “Why’s that?”

Franswa: “Because! I’m away from my family and I’m doing what I love! I hope you guys stay on tour for a long, long time.”

Zell: “Uh, me too.”

Franswa: “Anyway, sorry to run. I’ve got cupcakes in the oven.” *leaves*

Zell: “Cupcakes!?”

(meanwhile, rude, zidane, barret, cid and laguna are standing around)

Barret: “So anyway, I figured we can better look for that thing’s grandpa if we be on the road travelin’ to different cities and sh*t!”

Cid: “@#$#$%#^%@&@#&!”

Zidane: “But we’re not traveling. We’re doing all our concerts in Galbadia.”

Barret: *blink blink* “Yo, maybe cat/rat/hippo’s grandpa be likin’ dis here cracka music!”

Zidane: *sigh*

Rude: “I’m making money.”

Laguna: “I’m the President, and a roadie!”

Rude: *to zidane* “How much are you making?”

Zidane: “10 Cheez-Its an hour.”

Rude: *blink blink*

Zidane: “What? At least it’s real food. …Kinda.” *pause* “I had to negotiate for an hour to get that!”

Laguna: “I’m doing this for free! I thought it sounded fun!”

Zidane and Rude: *blink blink*

Rude: “…I hate myself right now. And I mean more than usual.”

Zidane: “You?! I’m being paid in Cheez-Its! Cheez-Its! What’s in that stuff anyway? I don’t even know! It could be poison!” *shakes rude by the shoulders* “I could have agreed to be paid in poison!”

Barret: “Yo, calm yo’ ass down! Cheez-Its ain’t poison! Cheez-Its be damn good! Right, Cid?”

Cid: “@#$%@!$%@#^&%@!”

Franswa: *walks over* “What is going on over here? If you guys want Cheez-Its so bad, there are some on the snack table over there.”

Zidane: “FREE CHEEZ-ITS?!”

Barret: “Damn, I’m gonna get me some of that!”

Cid: “@#$^ $%^#!”

Laguna: “Awesome!”

(they all run over. that leaves rude with franswa)

Rude: “Any money on that table?”

Franswa: “Uh, no.”

Rude: “It was worth a shot.”

(so supa ego2, and lark, perform their first concert together. the place is packed and everything goes great. the audience just loves it. afterwards)

Zell: “That was awesome, you guys! They still love us!”

Rufus: “And why wouldn’t they?”

Irvine: “We have this venue sold out all week!”

Sephiroth: “That’s pretty impressive.”

Tseng: “Not impressive enough. We can do better. We have to sell out next week too!”

Rufus: “Exactly what I was thinking, Tseng! I’m going to get to work on our songs for next week’s concert.”

Tseng: “I’ll help.”

(they leave. reno comes running over)

Reno: “That was a great show! How’d I do?”

Irvine: “Huh?”

Reno: “As back-up drummer!”

Irvine: “Oh. Right. You were fine. Wanna go get a drink?”

Reno: “Of course!”

(they leave. franswa goes over to zell)

Franswa: “You guys are really good!”

Zell: “Thanks, buddy!”

Franswa: “And the place was sold out!”

Zell: “Yup!”

Franswa: “I hope it stays that way – I am loving it here!”

(they walk off. that leaves lark with sephiroth)

Lark: “It was a good show.”

Sephiroth: “You got a good response.”

Lark: “Yeah. The crowd seemed to really like it.”

Sephiroth: “Well you looked hot out there. Of course they did.”

Lark: *uncomfortable* “Uh, thanks.”

Sephiroth: “You want—“

Lark: “You know, I really should get to bed early. Good night!”

(she quickly leaves. sephiroth frowns)

(two days and another successful concert later, the group is preparing for yet another concert in a few hours. rufus and tseng are sitting at a table, discussing)

Rufus: “So, I was thinking that we should try and appeal to a wider fan base.”

Tseng: “None of us can rap.”

Rufus: “No! We’ve already hooked the young ones! We have to work harder on getting the older ones! That is why I think we should work some Broadway into the mix!”

Tseng: “Broadway? I thought I was supposed to be the gay one.”

Rufus: “Oh, ha ha. So funny. But I thought it would be nice to work some Broadway in there to appeal to older listeners. Plus that way we can work Lark more into our concert.”

Tseng: “Lark? She’s not in the band. Why would we want to do that?”

Rufus: “Some people are coming to our concerts just to see her. That band was popular too, remember? If she has a larger part, more people will be willing to fork over money for a ticket!”

Tseng: “I guess so…”

(reno comes over)

Reno: “Hey, Rufus. Can we send some tickets to the gang back in the ramble room?”

Rufus: “How much are they willing to pay per ticket?”

Reno: “Uh, I was thinking they could be free.”

Rufus: “Free?! Am I made of money?”

Tseng: “There are paying customers to take those seats.”

Reno: *blinks in surprise* “Tseng…”

Tseng: “What? There are!”

Reno: “C’mon, Rufus! Just a select amount! They don’t even have to be the good seats!”

Rufus: *huge sigh* “Fine. I’ll find some tickets for them to next week’s concert.”

Reno: “Awesome! They’ll be so excited!” *runs off*

Tseng: “What the hell is he so excited about?”

Rufus: “I know. He’s not even in the band.”

(meanwhile, lark is on the phone. sephiroth comes over and stands there with his arms crossed)

Lark: “So it’s been going well. …Uh-huh. ……Oh! Yeah, that’ll be great! ………Don’t worry, I’ll get you a free ticket. …………I’ll just ask Rufus. …………Yes, Rufus will give you a free ticket. …………Yes, I said free. ……………He will if I ask him. ………Okay? So don’t worry about it. I have to go now. I’ll talk to you later? ………Love you, bye!” *hangs up and turns to sephiroth* “Did you need to use the phone?”

Sephiroth: “Who am I gonna call?”

Lark: “I don’t know. Why are you standing there then?”

Sephiroth: “Because I can.”

Lark: “Well you’re creeping me out.” *walks away*

(reno goes over to irvine who is in the make-up chair being tended to by kuja)

Kuja: “Omg, every time you come in here you have the worst case of hat hair I have ever seen.”

Irvine: “I don’t know why you put some much work into my hair. I just put the hat back on anyway.”

Kuja: “It’s the principle.”

Reno: “Hey, man! Guess what?”

Irvine: “What?”

Reno: “Rufus is gonna give me some tickets so I can give them to the gang back at the ramble room! That way they can come see us in concert!”

Irvine: “Us?”

Reno: “Yeah! I’m gonna go call them and tell them!” *runs off*

Kuja: “…He’s not even in the band.”

Irvine: “I know. He’s such a wannabe.”

(zell, meanwhile, is grazing at the food table when franswa comes over.)

Franswa: “Hi, Zell.”

Zell: “Hey, buddy! Great food – as usual!”

Franswa: “Thanks. Ready for the show tonight?”

Zell: “As ready as ever!”

Franswa: “I have a question, though. How come you don’t sing that many songs?”

Zell: “Well, I sing a lot of back-up. I’m the only one who can play the keyboard!”

Franswa: “But you can sing and play at the same time, right?”

Zell: “Uh, yeah. Why?”

Franswa: “Because. I don’t think it’s fair that you don’t get to sing as many songs as the other guys.”

Zell: “I never thought of it that way…” *pause* “You think it would be good for the band?”

Franswa: “Of course. Everybody should have equal time. Otherwise someone is always getting a raw deal. Why do you think my cousin is so messed up?”

Zell: “I just thought he was born that way.”

Franswa: “…I’m not talking about the vampire hunting thing.”

Zell: “Oh! Okay! Yeah, no problem! I’ll go talk to Rufus about it!”

(he goes over to where rufus and tseng are talking at the table)

Rufus: “We should have costumes that match the musicals we’re performing from.”

Tseng: “Um, no.”

Rufus: “No? What do you mean no?”

Tseng: “That’ll look stupid.”

Rufus: “It won’t look stupid! It’ll make the songs better!”

Tseng: “No it won’t. It’ll look stupid.”

Rufus: “Well I didn’t ask for your approval on it!”

Tseng: “Well you should, because I know what I’m talking about more than you do!”

Rufus: “How the hell is that possible? How many successful businesses do you run? Oh! Right! *Zero*?”

Tseng: “So? You’re completely out of touch, Rufus. You’re so high and mighty you have no idea what real people think. Plus you’re not the most popular member of the group.”

Zell: “Uh, guys?”

Rufus and Tseng: *snap* “What?”

Zell: *stunned a moment* “Uh, I was thinking… I have less songs than everybody else and I don’t really think that’s fair.”

Rufus: “Zell, this isn’t important. Can we talk about it later?”

Zell: “Yeah, okay.” *walks away*

Tseng: “What the hell? Why does he want more songs? He’s like the least popular one in the group.”

Rufus: “Where are you getting this information from?”

Tseng: “I printed this off the internet.”

(he slides a piece of paper over to rufus that was printed off supaego.com. its a poll titled whos your favorite band member? according to the poll, tseng is most popular, followed by irvine, then rufus, then sephiroth and finally zell.)

Rufus: “I’m *third*.”

Tseng: “And barely.”

Rufus: “How can that be?”

Tseng: “I say the next concert should focus more on me and Irvine.”

(before rufus can reply, lark comes over)

Lark: “Hey, guys. Kuja says you both better report to his chair or go out there looking like hobos.”

Rufus: “I don’t look like a hobo!”

Lark: *shrugs* “His words, not mine.”

Rufus: *turns to tseng* “This conversation is not over!” *stomps off*

Lark: *blink blink* “What the hell just happened here?”

Tseng: “Nothing. You know Rufus.”

(supa ego continues to do sold out shows up until the end of the week. rufus and tseng dont start discussing the new concert yet but theyre running out of time. meanwhile, at the ramble room, the girls are listening to the new cd when selphie comes running in excitedly)

Selphie: “The tickets are here! The tickets are here! Just like Reno said!”

Rinoa: “Are they good seats?”

Selphie: “I guess so.”

Yuffie: “How many are there?”

Selphie: “I don’t know, a bunch! I didn’t count them!”

Quistis: “We should keep some for ourselves and scalp the rest!”

Rinoa: “No, Quistis! Omg, that is awful!”

Selphie: “What is wrong with you??”

Quistis: “A lot.”

(meanwhile, in the ramble room, elena has sat lily on the couch and is kneeling in front of her. the baby is dressed up in cute little pink overalls and has her black hair in pigtails. reeve is fiddling with a digital camera.)

Elena: “Mommy’s going to take a picture of you to send to daddy! I bet daddy misses his cute little girl! Yes he does!”

Lily: *giggles*

Elena: “Reeve, what’s going on with that camera?”

Reeve: “I don’t know…the settings are all messed up. Did you let Reno borrow this?”

Elena: “Um…maybe.”

Reeve: “Yeah. And have you checked it since?”

Elena: “No. I don’t use it that much.”

Reeve: “Well apparently he used it to take pictures of his own butt, as well as the butts of others.”

Elena: “Ew! Are you serious?” *comes over*

Reeve: “Unfortunately. I do see a lot of alcohol around in these pictures. I’m guessing that’s what started it.”

Elena: *turns away* “Gross! Delete them!”

Lily: *giggles* “Dada!”

Reeve and Elena: *blink blink*

Reeve: “…What did she just say?”

Elena: “Did she just say dada?!”

(they look at each other and then rush over to the baby)

Elena: “Lily! Can you say it again for mommy? Can you say dada?”

Lily: “……Dada.”

Reeve: “She did! She said it! Oh my god! Her first word!”

Elena: “Her first word! Get the video camera!”

(they both get up to get the camera, stumbling over their own two feet and into each other in the process. finally reeve grabs the camera and turns it on, pointing it at the baby)

Reeve: “Can you say it again, Lily? Can you say dada?”

Lily: “…Dada! Dada!”

Elena: *crying* “My little girl is getting so big!”

Reeve: “Wow.”

Elena: “Good thing we have the camera. I can’t believe Tseng missed it.” *sigh* “I wish he was here.”

Reeve: *sadly* “Me too.”

(meanwhile, a short while later, the group is getting ready to go on stage. they are waiting for tseng, who is on the phone. rufus is glaring at him)

Tseng: “That’s great, Reeve! Really great. I’ll have to watch the video when I get home. ………Yeah, e-mail it to me, I’d love to see it.  …………I know, I know. But this is going to benefit her too someday. …………Look, I have to go. ………We’re about to do a show, Reeve. We’ll talk later, okay? Bye.”

(tseng hangs up and runs back over to the group)

Rufus: “What the hell was that about? You’re not going to start calling him every waking second again, are you?”

Tseng: “No! He called me! Lily said her first word today.”

Zell: “That’s awesome, man! What did she say?”

Tseng: “Dada.”

Zell: “That’s so cool! Congratulations! Too bad you missed it!”

Tseng: “Yeah, it kind of stinks, but what can I do about it?”

Rufus: “It’s not like the kid’ll never speak again. Now let’s get out on stage!”

(they go on, lark walks off. she goes over to reno, who is waiting in the wings with his drum sticks)

Lark: “What was the hold up?”

Reno: “Tseng was on the phone. Lily said her first word today.”

Lark: “Aw! How exciting!”

Reno: “Yup. I’m just hoping Elena didn’t try and take a picture of it or anything.”

Lark: “Why?”

Reno: “Well, let’s just say I borrowed her digital camera, and I’m pretty sure I forgot to delete the pictures.”

Lark: “Oh god.”

Reno: “Taking pictures of butts sounds really funny when you’re drunk.”

Lark: “I bet it does.”

(and so the concert goes on and everythings great. afterwards)

Rufus: “Okay, listen up! Tomorrow you can have the night off but the next morning you have to be here extra early so we can practice the new songs for the next concert!”

Sephiroth: “You still haven’t dropped that idea?”

Rufus: “No! And why would I?”

Tseng: “Rufus, we didn’t finish talking about that yet.”

Rufus: “Oh yes we did.”

Tseng: “Excuse me?”

Rufus: “I’m the boss here, Tseng. Not you. I don’t care what a couple of thirteen year old girls on the internet think. I’m still the business mastermind, and you’re still the guy that didn’t graduate high school.” *walks away*

Tseng: *following* “How dare you say that to me! And whose fault is that?!”

Everyone else: *blink blink*

Reno: “Anyway, we better put on a good show next week. Because the gang back in the ramble room has tickets.”

Irvine: “Yeah. *We* better. Let’s go.”

(they leave. zell also starts to walk away)

Zell: “…I hope I get more songs.”

(that leaves lark and sephiroth alone. she goes to hurry away without saying anything, but he grabs her arm)

Sephiroth: “Where are you running off to?”

Lark: “Nowhere…just going to change and get to bed.”

Sephiroth: “Kind of early to sleep, don’t you think?”

Lark: “I don’t think so.”

(she goes to walk away, but sephiroth grabs her arm again. this time lark looks mad and yanks her arm away)

Lark: “Stop touching me!”

Sephiroth: “What?”

Lark: “Stop it! Stop touching me, Sephiroth! And stop following me around! I have my own life you know! I can’t deal with this all the time!”

(and with that she just stomps away)

(meanwhile, its the middle of the night back at the ramble room. vincent is asleep when all of the sudden his cell phone rings. he gets up and looks around groggily. he goes to grab his phone with his claw but then realizes his mistake and grabs it with his hand)

Vincent: *half asleep* “……Hello?”

Voice on the other end: “……………………………………”

Vincent: “Angel. I have caller ID.”

Sephiroth’s voice: *huge sigh* “I woke you.”

Vincent: “It’s fine. Is something wrong?”

Sephiroth: “No…no…I mostly dialed you by accident. I was, uh, trying to send a text message to uh…I’ll let you go.”

Vincent: “If you want to talk, I’m more than happy to.”

Sephiroth: “…………I know.”

(but then theres nothing but the dial tone. with a sigh, vincent hangs up and then lies back down, staring up at the ceiling in the dark)

Vincent: “I have to get myself a ticket to that concert.”

(the next day at the ramble room. red is sitting sadly in the hallway when vincent comes by)

Vincent: “Hello there, Nanaki.”

Red: *sigh* “Hello.”

Vincent: “Something seems to be troubling you more than usual.”

Red: “There’s still no sign of my grandfather. I don’t know what else to do.”

Vincent: “I thought Barret and Cid were supposed to be looking for him.”

Red: “They could not find their own heads in the dark.”

Vincent: “I see.”

Red: “They went off on that tour with the band to find him. Grandfather does not like concerts! I told them that! Numerous times! But they never listen to me! Ever!”

Vincent: “I see.”

Red: “I wonder if I will ever find grandfather again.” *shakes head* “Poor, poor grandfather.”

(he wanders off sadly. vincent shakes his head and continues on. he next runs into reeve, who is carrying lily)

Reeve: “Hi, Vincent!”

Vincent: “Hello, Reeve.”

Reeve: “Have you heard the news? Lily said her first word yesterday!”

Vincent: “That is good news indeed. What did she say?”

Reeve: “She said ‘dada’. And is Tseng around to hear it? No.”

Vincent: “Did you tell him about it?”

Reeve: “Of course I did!” *frowns* “He didn’t really seem to care.”

Vincent: “I’m sure it just seemed that way. It is hard to judge a person’s emotions over the phone.”

Reeve: “Or maybe he was just too involved with his stupid concert.”

Vincent: “Speaking of concerts, I heard we have tickets. Are you going?”

Reeve: “I don’t want to, but Elena is forcing me. She wants to bring Lily.”

Vincent: “I see. I would like to attend as well.”

Reeve: “Well from what I can tell there’s plenty of them. I think Rinoa has them, if you want one.”

Vincent: “Thank you. I think I’ll do just that.”

Lily: “Dada! Dada!”

Vincent: “Oh my goodness.”

Reeve: “Yup. She just loves her new word. She says it all the time. I just wish her father was around to hear it.”

Vincent: “You’re her father too.”

Reeve: “Yeah, but Tseng spends so much more time with her. I don’t think she’s talking about me. Besides, I’m not her real father.”

Vincent: “She doesn’t know that.”

(he walks away. reeve looks at lily and then shifts her so hes carrying her on his other shoulder)

Reeve: “You’re getting to be a big girl, Lily! Maybe daddy should start lifting some of your real daddy’s weights so it doesn’t make me so tired to carry you.”

Lily: “…Dada?”

Reeve: *smiles* “Yeah. I’m your dada too.”

(meanwhile, back at the concert venuetseng tracks down rufus)

Tseng: “Nice, Rufus. Way to avoid me last night.”

Rufus: “If this is about next week’s concert, forget it.”

Tseng: “No! I won’t forget it! Why can’t we be a team on this? Why won’t you accept my input? Is it really because you think I don’t know anything, or is it really because you want to have all the power?”

Rufus: “What power? The only power is in the money you’re making.”

Tseng: “Exactly. So if I can help you make more money, why won’t you take my suggestions?”

Rufus: “……………”

Tseng: “Rufus, I swear, if it doesn’t help ticket sales I will never suggest anything again. I want us to do well as much as you do.”

Rufus: “Fine. We’ll work together on the concert. But if we don’t sell out, you’re fired.” *pause* “From the concert organization. Not the band. Or the Turks. I kind of need you for that.”

Tseng: “I know.”

(meanwhile, irvine is getting some food and reno is following him around)

Reno: “Being in the band is better than I even thought it would be! Look at all this free stuff you get! Plus there’s like a million chicks around and they all wanna sleep with you! This is the life, dude!”

Irvine: “Yup. I have it pretty sweet.”

Reno: “You mean *we* have it pretty sweet.”

Irvine: “…Whatever.”

Reno: *laughs* “Stop channeling Squall, Irvine! Cheer up! We’re in a band!”

Irvine: *grits teeth and mumbles to himself* “…No we’re not.”

(on the other side of the food table, zell is getting himself a plate while franswa stands nearby)

Zell: “Mmm! How do you keep making food this good every day?”

Franswa: “I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. How’s the new concert coming? Good, I hope.”

Zell: “Uh, I guess so. Rufus and them are working on it.”

Franswa: *blink blink* “You don’t work on it together?”

Zell: “Nope.”

Franswa: “Why not?”

Zell: *blink blink* “I…don’t…know…”

Franswa: *shrugs* “I guess I just assumed since you guys were a band you’d plan your own concerts together.”

Zell: *thoughtfully* “That *would* make sense… That’s why I don’t get as many songs as everyone else!” *frowns* “I’m going to talk to Rufus in the morning.”

(and sephiroth is in kujas chair when hojo comes over)

Hojo: “Hello, my darling.”

Sephiroth: “You better be talking to Kuja and not me.”

Kuja: “I was hoping for the opposite.”

Hojo: “Of course I’m talking to Kuja! And how are you on this fine day, my lovely?”

Kuja: “Fine. But then again I haven’t done Irvine, Reno or Zell’s hair yet. And I swear if I find one more cookie crumb…”

Hojo: “This is quite possibly the best job I’ve ever had. And I’m not talking about the money or the actual job itself.”

Sephiroth: “Could you not have this conversation around me, please?”

Hojo: “Anyway, I came around for a reason. Do you have an extra box of tissues?”

Sephiroth: “Ew, ew, ew! Can you wait until after I leave?”

Kuja: “Yes, please, just take it and go.”

Hojo: *takes tissues* “Oh believe me, I’m quite busy. But not with the job.”

Sephiroth: “Get out of here, you sick freak!”

(hojo leaves. kuja and sephiroth are silent for a moment)

Sephiroth: “How am I his son?”

Kuja: “Well, the freak who created me dressed kind of like Darth Vader, if that helps.”

Sephiroth: “It doesn’t.”

Kuja: “Well it should. I don’t know how anything with fashion sense that bad created me.”

(the concert manages to be a success again. meanwhile, night has fallen at the ramble room. alucard and dante are outside with lloyd when vincent walks by)

Lloyd: “Chris is gone! Can I have my room back now?”

Dante: “What the hell are you talking about, Lloyd?”

Lloyd: “Chris went to Europe! He left this morning! You would know if you were ever *home*!”

Dante: “Wow. I never thought he’d get there.”

Lloyd: “So can I have my room back now?”

Dante: “…Nah. I think I’ll use it for storage.”

Lloyd: “Screw you, Dante! Screw you to hell!”

(he stomps off. dante laughs. meanwhile, alucard has spotted vincent and starts walking over)

Dante: “He is never getting his room back.”

Alucard: “Vincent!”

Vincent: “Oh. Good evening.”

Alucard: “Where’s everyone been lately?”

Vincent: “Well a good portion of the ramble room has gone on tour.”

Alucard: “On tour?”

Vincent: “They’re in a band.”

Dante: “Oh right… I vaguely remember Rufus talking about that.”

Vincent: “Yes. They had some success years ago and now they’re doing something of a reunion tour.”

Alucard: “And Sephiroth?”

Vincent: “He’s in the band.”

Dante: “Really?”

Vincent: “Yes.”

Dante: “*Really*?”

Vincent: “Yes. I thought you said you’ve heard about it before.”

Dante: “Yeah. It’s just really hard to believe.”

Vincent: “There are tickets available to one of their concerts if you’re interested.”

Dante: “Damn right we’re interested!”

Alucard: “We are?”

Dante: “Baby, I have got to see him on stage being cheered at by thousands of fans. Because it just seems too impossible to be true.”

Alucard: *shrugs* “If you insist.”

Vincent: “I’ll get the tickets for you.”

Alucard: “Thanks.”

(vincent walks away. dante heads back for the house looking thoughtful)

Dante: “I wonder what instrument he plays. Probably the triangle or something stupid like that. Do you have a camera?”

Alucard: “Only a camera that takes pictures of the future. And that never really works out well so we don’t like to use it.”

(then dracula comes running out of the house out of breath)

Dracula: “Alucard! There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Alucard: *sigh* “What is it, dad?”

Dracula: “Alucard! You’ll never believe this – but I just tied my own shoelaces!”

Alucard: “Dad, you’re not even wearing shoes.”

Dracula: *blink blink* “What are you talking about, Alucard?”

Alucard: “You couldn’t have tied your own shoelaces because you’re not wearing shoes.”

Dracula: *laughs* “Alucard! Tying shoelaces has nothing to do with shoes!”

Alucard:  *paling* “What does it have to do with, dad?”

Dracula: “You should see the flames, Alucard! I tied those shoelaces so good! I should win an award!”

Alucard: *dashes inside*

Dante: *following* “I’ll grab the fire extinguisher.”

Dracula: “I knew they would be excited to see it!”

(so its the morning when the gang has to practice the new songs. rufus, sephiroth, tseng, zell, irvine, reno and lark are all there. rufus is handing out the music.)

Rufus: “I’m handing everyone a list of the music they’ll be needing, as well as a list of every song we’ll be performing.”

Irvine: *looking it over* “You’re working Lark into the show?”

Rufus: “You have a problem with that?”

Irvine: “No. But why do you have more songs than me?”

Rufus: “It just worked out that way.”

Irvine: *frowns* “But I sang a lot of songs in the last concert.”

Rufus: “Well this is a different kind of music.”

Irvine: “Are you saying I can’t sing Broadway? Because I think it’s stupid we have to perform that anyway.”

Reno: “Plus I don’t think there’s much drumming involved.”

Irvine: “Stay outta this, Reno.”

Rufus: “Look! I’m trying to put people in the seats here! So I’m giving them what they want!”

Zell: *frowns* “I still don’t have very many songs… I thought we were going to talk about that, Rufus.”

Rufus: “There’s nothing to talk about, Zell.”

Tseng: “Rufus and I worked really hard putting this set together.”

Zell: “How come you did it all by yourselves? Why didn’t we get any input?”

Irvine: “Yeah!”

Rufus: “Well you didn’t seem to want to help.”

Sephiroth: “Nobody really asked.”

Zell: “Yeah!”

Irvine: “Yeah!”

Rufus: “Oh, now you want to complain, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: “Honestly, Shinra. I don’t really care. I was just pointing out the obvious.”

Rufus: “I’m not changing it now! It’s fine how it is!”

Lark: “…I have two duets with Sephiroth?”

Rufus: “Don’t tell me *you* have a problem with that!”

Lark: “…No.”

Sephiroth: *snorts and mutters* “I didn’t think so.”

Rufus: “As soon as this song line-up was posted on the internet this morning two of our concerts for next week sold out. And I’m sure the rest will too. So this is what we’re going with, and there’s no more complaining.”

Irvine: “I still don’t think it’s fair.”

Zell: “Me neither.”

Rufus: “Oh shut up! Or I’ll cut you out completely! Now we’re going to start rehearsals. So everyone get your instruments.”

(sephiroth, irvine, zell and tseng go to get their instruments. lark walks off stage. rufus goes to get his and reno stops him)

Reno: “What about me?”

Rufus: “What about you?”

Reno: “What do you want me to do?”

Rufus: “You know what you can do? You can stay out of the way.”

Reno: “What the hell, man?! What did I do to you??”

(rufus just gets his instrument and goes over to the rest of the band. reno goes over to lark)

Reno: “Geez! I didn’t think it was possible but Rufus is even more of a jerk when it comes to this band stuff!”

Lark: “…Some things never change.”

(meanwhile, back at the ramble room, rinoa, selphie, quistis and yuffie are organizing the tickets)

Rinoa: “Okay, four tickets for us…”

Selphie: “Tickets for Squall, Seifer and Vincent…”

Yuffie: “Tickets for Alucard and Dante…”

Quistis: “And four tickets to sell on StubHub.com.”

Rinoa: “No!” *snatches the tickets* “Stop saying that!”

Selphie: “Okay, so where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?”

Rinoa: “Anyway, tickets for Tifa and Richter Belmont…”

Yuffie: “A ticket for Red!”

Selphie; “Tickets for Algus, Reeve and Elena.”

Quistis: *cough* “And tickets to sell on Ebay.”

Rinoa: “No! Stop it, Quistis! At this rate you’re not getting a damn ticket!”

Quistis: “Do you have any idea how much these tickets could sell for on the internet?”

Selphie: “No!”

Rinoa: “And it doesn’t matter!”

Yuffie: “…Unless we could buy some materia with the profits…”

Selphie: “Yuffie!”

Yuffie: “What? It was just a suggestion!”

Selphie: “This is gonna be so much fun, guys! I’m so excited to see Supa Ego in concert again!”

Yuffie: “You mean Supa Ego2.”

Selphie: “Whatever.”

Rinoa: “Me too!” *pause* “You know, we do see them every day. How come we only seem to get excited about them when they’re in the band?”

Everyone: “……………”

Selphie: “I don’t know. Must be the music!”

Quistis: *mutters* “Or the money we could make scalping the tickets…”

Other girls: “QUISTIS!”

(meanwhile, back to the rehearsal, lark and sephiroth are practicing the song almost paradise from the musical footloose. yes. they made a musical of it. its entertaining, but most of the music leaves a lot to be desired. this song is good though, although it wasnt written originally for the musical. anyway, theyre singing it and going through the moves rufus has choreographed. mostly it involves looking at each other and holding hands. sephiroth seems way more into the song than lark. she seems rather stiff. rufus and the rest of the band are watching.)

Both: *sing* “Almost paradise! We’re knocking on heaven’s door! Almost paradise… How could we ask for mo—“

Rufus: “Cut! CUT! Cut the music, Reno!”

(reno stops the music and rufus walks over)

Rufus: “Lark, I wanna be nice about this, but I could pair Sephiroth with a duck and get more chemistry! You’re too stiff! Loosen up!”

Lark: “Sorry.”

Rufus: “Do it again!”

(he stomps off stage and motions for reno to start the music again.)

Lark: *sings* “It seems that perfect love’s so hard to find. I’d almost given up, you must have read my mind.”

Sephiroth: *sings* “And all these dreams I save for a rainy day…”

Lark: *sings* “Oooooooooooooooooooo.”

Both: *sings* “They’re finally coming true! I’ll share them all with you! ‘Cause now we hold the future in our hands! Almost paradise! We’re knocking on heaven’s door! Almost paradise… How—“

Rufus: “Stop, stop! Stop it again, Reno!” *goes over to lark and taps foot* “Why can’t you look at him?”

Lark: “I am looking at him!”

Rufus: “You need to look at him more! And better! Like you actually *care*! This is a love song!”

Lark: “……………”

Rufus: “Do it again!”

(again he leaves the stage and again reno turns the music on. lark takes a deep breath and then starts to sing. they are facing each other, hands joined.)

Lark: *sings looking at him* “It seems that perfect love’s so hard to find. I’d almost given up, you must have read my mind.”

Sephiroth: *sings stepping closer* “And all these dreams I save for a rainy day…”

Lark: *sings not moving* “Oooooooooooooooooooo.”

Both: *sings* “They’re finally coming true! I’ll share them all with you! ‘Cause now we hold the future in our hands! Almost paradise! We’re knocking on heaven’s door! Almost paradise… How could we ask for more? I swear that I can see forever in your eyes. Paradise…”

Sephiroth: *sings walking very close and looking fondly at her* “And in your arms salvations not so far away!”

Lark: *sings looking wary* “It’s getting closer…”

Both: *sing* “Closer every day! Almost paradise! We’re knocking on heaven’s door! Almost paradise… How could we ask for more?”

(sephiroth puts his hands on each side of her head and lark totally freezes and stops singing)

Sephiroth: *sings* “I sw—“

Lark: “Stop it!” *pushes sephiroth away from her and stalks off*

Sephiroth: “What the hell?!”

Lark: “I can’t do this! I can’t sing this song with him!”

Rufus: “Why the hell not?!”

Lark: “Because! He’s not acting!”

Rufus: “What?”

Lark: “He’s not acting! The way he’s looking at me… I can’t sing this with him!”

Sephiroth: “I don’t know what she’s talking about!”

Lark: “Stop looking at me like that!”

Rufus: “I don’t believe this… Fine. Tseng! You sing the song with her.”

Tseng: “Fine.”

Irvine: “Again?? He’s singing everything!”

Zell: “Yeah! Why can’t I do it?”

Rufus: “Because I’m in charge! Now can we get through this rehearsal without any more drama?”

Reno: “No.”

Rufus: “Shut up, Reno! You’re not even in the band!”

Reno: *looks stunned*

Rufus: “Now start the music.”

Reno: “Start your own f$#%ing music.”

(he storms off. rufus throws his hands into the air)

Rufus: “Guess I just have to do everything myself!”

(the rest of the rehearsal is completed without much incident, except reno never comes back and nobodys really talking much. rufus gathers everyone together when its over.)

Rufus: “All right, so we finished up well and everything’s looking good. We open this show tomorrow, and we sold out, and we want to keep it that way. Remember that. Now go get some rest.”

(everyone goes their separate ways. sephiroth follows lark)

Sephiroth: “What was that about before, Lark?”

Lark: “I don’t want to talk to you right now, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: “What did I do? What the hell did I do?” *stops walking*

Lark: *stops and turns around* “You know what you were doing! Don’t play dumb with me!”

Sephiroth: “I couldn’t possibly.”

Lark: “You’re such a liar. Fine! If you really need me to spell it out for you I will – you’re not in love with me anymore, Sephiroth! So stop trying to convince yourself you are!”

(she stomps away. sephiroth just stands there looking angry)

Sephiroth: “…I’m not trying to convince myself of anything.”

(the next night’s new concert goes off without a problem. but no one really talks much before the show. after the showzell goes over to grab a snack. franswa comes over)

Franswa: “I like the new show.”

Zell: *sigh* “I’m not in it much.”

Franswa: “Did you talk to Rufus?”

Zell: “I *tried*! He won’t listen to me!”

Franswa: *frowns* “Well that’s not right. Why not?”

Zell: “Because he says he’s the boss.”

Franswa: “He’s not your boss. You’re all in a band.”

Zell: “He’s being a jerk.”

Franswa: “I think so. It’s not fair.”

Zell: “You’re right. I’m going to say something to him tomorrow!”

(meanwhilereno and irvine are walking together)

Reno: “Can you believe Rufus? ‘You’re not in the band’. What the hell?! I play an instrument too!”

Irvine: “………………”

Reno: “I mean I don’t sing or anything but I’m still in the band! You know what I mean, Irvine?”

Irvine: “……………..”

Reno: “Irvine?”

Irvine: “I agree with Rufus.”

Reno: “What?!”

Irvine: “You’re not in the band, Reno. You’re the back up drummer. And you’re lucky to have that. So if I were you I’d just bang my little sticks and keep out of *band* issues.”

Reno: “You know, you’ve been nothing but an arrogant asshole ever since we got here. I expect that kinda sh*t from Rufus, but not you, Irvine. But fine. I’ll stay out of your stupid band issues. And out of your life.”

(and with that he stalks away. meanwhile, lark happens to walk by sephiroth)

Sephiroth: “Oh no, Lark! You’re coming in my general direction! Stop pretending you’re in love with me!”

Lark: “Stop being a child, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: “Me being a child? At least I’m not so delusional that I think everybody is in love with me.”

Lark: “I don’t think you’re in love with me.” *walks away*

Sephiroth: *calls after her* “Then what’s the problem?”

(and finally, tseng and rufus)

Rufus: “Everything seemed to go well.”

Tseng: “Just like I said it would.”

Rufus: “It was a joint effort. Anyway, I came up with an idea for next week’s concert.”

Tseng: “That’s funny- so did I.”

(they stop and glare at each other)

Rufus: “Heh. Tseng. You’ve been a good help. But it’s time to get serious now. I’m the one in charge, so I’ll be planning the next concert.”

Tseng: “Half the things that made this concert so successful were *my* ideas. You wouldn’t know a hit song if it bit you in the ass.”

Rufus: “You wouldn’t even be in this band if it wasn’t for me! And I only picked you in the first place because you’re good looking and could sing! I’m lucky your stupid ideas didn’t bankrupt me this time! I’m not taking that chance again!”

Tseng: “My *stupid* ideas?! My ideas were good! And you know it!”

Rufus: “Okay, whatever you wanna tell yourself. I have businesses to run.”

(he leaves and tseng stands there, chin trembling like hes about to cry.)

(meanwhile, the next day, everyone whos going to the concert is lined up outside, waiting to be let in. selphie, rinoa, quistis, yuffie, vincent, reeve, elena, lily, Brady, bryatt, squall, seifer, alucard, dante, algus, tifa, richter and red are all there)

Selphie: “Geez! There’s like a million people here!”

Rinoa: “The place is sold out for sure.”

Quistis: “I told you we could have sold those tickets for a lot of money.”

Yuffie: “Yeah…”

Rinoa: “Would you guys stop it? It’s going to be a great show.”

Richter: “Tifa, there are vampires here! And I don’t trust Hugh to watch the baby!”

Tifa: “They’ll both be fine, Richter. And there is one vampire here. And he’s not bothering you.”

Richter: *eyes narrow* “Not yet.”

Alucard: “The Belmont is staring at me, isn’t he.”

Dante: “Oh yeah. With murderous rage.”

Alucard: “Fun.”

Dante: “Not as fun as this concert’s going to be.”

Alucard: “I don’t understand what you’re so excited about.”

Dante: “I just can’t see it. Sephiroth? With fans? If he can draw this kind of crowd, imagine what kind of crowd a person like me could draw.”

Red: *sigh* “I do not wish to be here.”

Reeve: *sigh* “Me neither.”

Elena: *holding lily* “Aw, come on, you two! It’ll be fun! You know they put on a great show! And Reeve, you know Tseng will be excited to see you! And Red, I bet Cid and Barret will be happy to see you!”

Red: “They can rot in hell.”

Elena: *shocked* “Red!”

Red: “What? Clearly I’ve hated them all these years.”

Elena: “I always assumed it was kind of a love hate thing.”

Red: “No. It’s a hate hate thing. I truly despise them.”

Algus: “I’m very much looking forward to seeing Rufus in action! And the same for my slave! He better be earning every last Cheez-It!”

Squall: “I don’t wanna be here.”

Seifer: “Me neither! Too bad our girlfriends dragged us.”

Squall: “No…my girlfriend dragged me. Your girlfriend isn’t here.”

Seifer: “Oh…well. She made me come anyway.”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Bryatt: “Are they going to let us in soon or what? I feel like we’ve been standing out here forever!”

Brady: “There are so many people here…how many people fit in this place anyway?”

Vincent: “Knowing Rufus I’m sure it’s sold out.”

Bryatt: “You must be excited about seeing Lark.”

Brady: “Yeah, I’m pretty excited. I have no idea what kind of music they do though.”

Bryatt: “Oh, they like to touch on a little bit of everything.”

(finally the line starts to move)

Selphie: “Hurray! We’re moving!”

Brady: “I guess I’ll find out what they’re all about soon enough.”

(and so everyone is getting seated inside the venue. meanwhile, backstage, everyone seems to be glaring at each other. theyre standing off stage, waiting to go on. the roadies stand off to the side watching. zell is not there at first. then he comes stomping over)

Zell: “Rufus, we need to talk!”

Rufus: “Not now!”

Zell: “No! I’m tired of you trying to put me off! We’re a band! That’s like a team! And we should be picking our stuff together!”

Irvine: “Yeah!”

Zell: “I want more songs!”

Irvine: “Me too!”

Rufus: “You both have plenty of songs!”

Tseng: “Rufus doesn’t want anyone else’s opinion because he’s an all controlling freak.”

Irvine: “You’re one to talk! You have more songs than anyone!”

Tseng: “Well I deserve them!”

Zell: “Says who?”

Tseng: “Me! And Rufus!”

Irvine: “So first you bash Rufus and now you defend him?”

Reno: “Oh god! You and your stupid band! Like you’re so great!”

Irvine: “Stay out of this, Reno!”

Reno: “Oh, right! ‘Cause I’m not in the band! Kinda glad about that! That way I’m not a complete asshole like the rest of you!”

Sephiroth: “We may be assholes but at least I’m not a delusional bitch.”

Lark: “*What* did you just call me?”

Sephiroth: “You heard me.”

Lark: “You’ve gotta lot of nerve, Sephiroth! You’re the one who started this! If you would just *back off* like I told you to, we wouldn’t have a problem! I’m not going to fall for you again! So just get back with Vincent already!”

Sephiroth: *taken back*  “How *dare* you!”

Lark: “It’s true and you know it!”

Rufus: “We have to get on stage!”

(he walks on stage and everyone follows)

Zell: “I’m not letting you weasel out of this again, Rufus!”

Irvine: “I wanna have some say!”

Reno: “I don’t care what you all think! I am in the damn band! I play an instrument, so that makes me in the band!”

Rufus: “All of you shut up! None of you know what you’re doing!”

Tseng: “You know, I was looking over the figures from last week and I think you didn’t give us our fair share!”

Rufus: “Oh, that’s rich! I’m surprised you can even count!”

Tseng: *very angry* “You son of a bitch!”

(with that he grabs rufus by the collar and punches him in the face. zell, irvine and reno quickly get in on the action and soon theyre all fighting except for lark and sephiroth. she watches with a shocked expression and he just stands there kind of laughing.)

Lark: “You guys! Stop that!! Stop it!”

Rufus: *has grabbed chunks of irvine’s hair and is pulling on it* “I gave you all fame again! And I could take it away!”

Irvine: *trying to pull his hair out* “You fight like a girl, Rufus!”

Zell: “We should all be equal!”

Reno: “I’m in the band, dammit!”

Tseng: “I’m not stupid! Stop saying I’m stupid!”

Lark: “Stop it! Stop fighting!” *turns to sephiroth* “What the hell is so funny?!”

Sephiroth: “All of this. All of this is a joke.”

(they keep punching, yelling and cursing at each other while lark tries to stop them and sephiroth just stands there. meanwhile, off stage, the roadies are watching them with confused expressions)

Zidane: “What the hell…?”

Rude: *shrugs*

Laguna: “Hey, hey! Maybe this is part of the act!”

Zidane: “It *is* time for them to go on.”

Barret: “Guess we should open the curtain then! Do it, Cid!”

Cid: “@#$^@!”

(and then the curtain slides across the stage revealing them, and their fighting to the audience, which gasps. at first only lark and sephiroth even notice. they stand there looking shocked. the rest of them are still fighting)

Reno: “Ow! Who bit me!?”

Zell: “I meant to bite Rufus!”

Rufus: “You would wanna bite me, you weirdo!”

Tseng: “You certainly take a big enough bite of the profits!”

Irvine: “Ow! F$%^#ing dammit! My hair!”

Lark: *softly* “…You guys…the curtain…”

Rufus: “Huh?” *finally notices* “Oh sh*t.”

Other guys: “What?”

(and then they notice that all their fans and friends have seen the whole thing. they all stop and casually brush themselves off, standing there silently. they dont know what to do. the place is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. then rufus grabs a microphone)

Rufus: “We’ll be right back.”

(then they all run off stage again, and the audience all start to talk among themselves)

Yuffie: “Why were they all fighting?”

Seifer: “I don’t know, but that was probably the best part of the concert!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Bryatt: “That didn’t look good.”

Brady: “I was surprised to see Sephiroth not fighting.”

Vincent: “Knowing him…I’m sure he was involved one way or another.”

Reeve: “I wonder who started that.”

Elena: “Poor Rufus…”

Alucard: “This doesn’t look good. I’m glad the tickets were free.”

Dante: “Some band. Somebody should do something.”

Alucard: “Like what? You want someone from the audience to run up there and entertain everyone, Dante?” *no answer* “Dante?” *looks over and dante is gone* “Oh no.”

(meanwhile, off stage, everyone is still arguing)

Rufus: “This is all your fault, Zell! You ruined the show!”

Irvine: “Don’t blame it all on him, Rufus! This is your fault for being a jerk in the first place!”

Zell: “Yeah! I wouldn’t have had to yell if you’d listened to me in the first place!”

Reno: “You’re an asshole, Rufus.”

Rufus: “Shut up! I created all of you!”

Tseng: “No you didn’t. You couldn’t have gotten anywhere without us.”

Lark: “Everybody saw you guys arguing.”

Sephiroth: “And they saw you yelling at me!”

Lark: “I had no choice!”

(suddenly theres the screeching of a microphone. everyone turns to look on stage where dante has grabbed the mic)

Everyone: “What the hell?!”

Sephiroth: *eyes narrow* “Dante.”

Dante: “Hey all you lovely people out there. While we’re waiting for Supa Ego2 to come back out on stage, I thought I’d play a little tune I wrote myself.” *picks up a guitar and starts to play*

Irvine: “My guitar!”

Barret: “Yo! You want me to call security?”

Rufus: “I don’t know what he thinks he’s doing, but if he can placate the crowd while we sort this out let him.”

Tseng: “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. He’s *really* good.”

(they all look once again to where dante is down on his knees playing this awesome song on the guitar)

Lark: “I didn’t even know he played guitar.”

Sephiroth: *still glaring* “Dante.”

Zell: “Look at him go!”

Rufus: “All right, enough looking at Dante! Look! These people paid to see us in concert and we’re gonna do it! All stupid business aside. Can we do that please?”

Everyone: *nods slowly*

Rufus: “Good! Then let’s go!”

(meanwhile, dante has finished up his song to wild applause)

Dante: “Thank you! Thank you! You’re an awesome audience! My name is Dante Sparda!” *kisses two fingers and holds them up* “Peace and love!”

(supa ego2 comes back on stage. sephiroth comes over and pushes dante offstage. then the actual concert starts. and they go through it fine and the crowd is enjoying it. but at the end, after they take their bows and go backstagethe crowd isnt cheering for them to come back out. theyre cheering for dante. they all stand there looking shocked)

Tseng: “W-why are they cheering for *him*?”

Zell: “He was pretty awesome.”

Sephiroth: “Awesomely retarded! C’mon! I have more talent in a strand of hair than he has in his whole skanky, diseased body!”

Lark: “I don’t know if we can recover from this.”

Irvine: “This doesn’t look good…”

Reno: “Guys! Check this out!”

(hes standing over by a tv monitor. the rest of the group runs over to where theres a news reporter standing out front of the concert venue)

Reporter: “I’m standing outside the arena where Supa Ego2 has just played yet another sold out concert. I asked a few concert goers what they thought of the show.”

Concert goer 1: “It was cool. But the best part was this guy Dante! Man, he was shredding guitar like crazy! It was awesome!”

Concert goer 2: “Yeah, man! Dante was the bomb! I would totally pay to see him play!”

Reporter: “I talked to many people who shared the opinion that while Supa Ego2 put on a great show, it was Dante who really brought the house down. Stella Morgan, channel 6 news.”

(and reno reaches out and turns the tv off. everyone else is just staring at it in shock with their jaws dropped)

Irvine: “…They liked Dante…better?”

Zell: “Wow.”

Rufus: “We’re ruined. Ruined.”

Tseng: “Yeah. We’re done.”

Lark: “This was all because of the fighting. It was the total opposite of last time. We got so into the band we…we destroyed it.”

Sephiroth: *glaring* “Dante.”

(then everyone who had been sitting in the ramble room seats comes backstageexcept for dante)

Brady: “Hey, babe. Good show.”

Lark: “Glad you liked it. Because it’s probably the last.”

Rufus: “It is the last. After that humiliation, I’ll never be able to have a reunion tour again!”

Elena: “Aw, Rufus. It’s okay. You’ll find something else.”

Tseng: “I don’t believe this. After we worked so hard.”

Reeve: *holding lily* “Hi, Tseng.”

Tseng: *pouting* “Oh. Hi, Reeve.”

Reeve: “I have someone here who wants to say hi to you.”

Tseng: *taking lily from reeve* “Hi, sweetie. Did you miss daddy?”

Lily: “…Dada?”

Tseng: *blink blink*

Reeve: “I told you!”

Tseng: *small smile* “That was amazing.” *to lily softly* “Don’t worry, honey. Daddy hasn’t given up yet.”

Laguna: “Look, son! I’m a roadie!”

Squall: “Good. Stay away from me.”

Barret: “Hey, rump roast! We ain’t found yo’ granpa yet!”

Cid: “@#$!%!#@^@#%^#&*!”

Red: “What a surprise.”

Barret: “But I ain’t givin’ up yet!”

Red: “I should put his face on a milk carton.”

Zell: *sighs* “Looks like the band is over, Franswa. I’m sorry.”

Franswa: “It’s not your fault.”

Zell: “Yes it is. I got too greedy.”

Franswa: “I was the one who put those ideas into your head. I just wanted to stay here so badly.”

Zell: “And I ruined it. I could never make it up to you!”

Franswa: “It’s all right, Zell. I’ll find something else. C’est la vie.”

Zell: “Huh?”

Franswa: “C’est la vie. It’s French. Literally it means ‘it is the life’, but in English it’s basically translated to mean that’s life. You know. Like life happens and you just gotta take it how it is.”

Zell: “Oh. Geez. You know so much stuff.”

Franswa: “No. I just know a lot about vampires.”

Richter: “That’s how you can outwit the vampires!”

Tifa: “Richter, honey. Please.”

Vincent: “Hello, angel.”

Sephiroth: *pushes past him and goes over to alucard* “Where’s your bacteria covered other half?”

Vincent: *frowns*

Alucard: “…Do you really want to know?”

Sephiroth: “Yes!”

Alucard: “He’s outside signing autographs.”

Sephiroth: “That bastard!”

Alucard: “What was going on onstage? What were you all fighting over?”

Sephiroth: “Nothing. Stupid stuff. That’s mostly what everyone ever fights about, isn’t it?”

Alucard: “I suppose so.”

Irvine: “Reno, dude, I’m sorry. You’re right. I acted like a jerk.”

Reno: “It’s okay. At least you learned your lesson in the end.”

Rude: “I learned a lesson too. It’s called never work for Rufus. Aside from being a Turk I’ve lost every job he’s ever given me. I’ve either been fired, *it’s* been on fire, or it’s been closed completely.”

Reno: “At least you haven’t been on fire.”

Rude: “That’s the next step.”

Zidane: “Haha! Lookit! I stole the bowl of Cheez-Its! This can last me a month!”

Algus: “Put that away, Zidane.”

Zidane: “Dammit, Algus! You always gotta come around at the worst time!”

Algus: “You can’t buy that kind of timing.”

Hojo: “Dammit! Now I’ll have to go back to printing out that internet porn.”

Kuja: “You are disgusting.”

Rufus: *crying* “It’s over! It’s all over! We can never do another concert again!”

Zell: “At least we have our old albums and HBO specials.”

Rufus: “How could we fail? I didn’t let anybody open their mail, I kept Irvine away from the parties. Tseng didn’t even care about Reeve anymore! How could it have gone wrong?!”

Lark: “Like I said, Rufus. You had the opposite problem. Everybody cared too much. And you just couldn’t get along.”

Rufus: “I guess some things just aren’t meant to be.”

Lark: *looking at sephiroth* “You can say that again.”


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