#114 – You May Now Kiss The…Groom?

Reeve: “I do! I do!” *thinks* “Uh… Tseng… I really love screwing you. I mean doing you! Oh no! I meant being with you!”

Originally Published: 2/6-14/02 . 88 pages

Reeve and Tseng are finally going to get married for real! But when an old flame shows up, will things still go on as planned?

Ramble Milestones
-First appearance of Bryatt, Reeve and Tseng get married.

This was originally written in episodes, with a part being put up each day. The first couple sections are packed full of Bria drama, and the rest is hilarious. This ramble also features the first appearance of Bryatt and the rest of Tseng’s friends, all of whom are my original characters from other stuff. The girl who inspired the character Noelle really was obsessed with taffeta, and Sephy is pretty sweet in this one, which is a rare side I always like to see.

Episode one: Well *That* Was Unexpected

(in the ramble room, lark and Noelle are sitting on the couch, talking quietly and laughing. Rufus sits at the table, arms crossed, pouting. After a minute reeve and tseng enter, holding hands. They glance at rufus, then at lark and Noelle, then at each other.)

Tseng: “Are you feeling slightly nervous too?”

Reeve: “More than slightly.”

Lark: “Hey, you guys! Come and sit.”

Reeve: “What exactly is this about?”

Noelle: “Your wedding!”

Tseng: “What?”

Noelle: “I’m seeing lots of taffeta. Oh, and don’t worry. We already booked a hotel to have it in.”

Reeve: “Uh…”

Tseng: “Our wedding? But we were putting it off until we could pay for it.”

Lark: “Oh, don’t worry about the cost.” *points to rufus* “It’s taken care of.”

Rufus: “Yeah, whatever. I can’t believe I have to pay for a gay wedding. Zell might get ideas!”

Reeve: “That’s very thoughtful of you, but I haven’t even asked him to remarry me yet.”

Noelle: “Well you better get on that, sweetie, because we’re moving into full gear!” *she takes out a cell phone and quickly dials* “Hello, Reno? How are those table cloths coming?” *she starts to leave* “What do you *mean* they’re not sure? Tell them it better be or I’ll come down there and kick their ass! Taffeta!” *she leaves*

Tseng: “…She…seems to be taking this very seriously.”

Lark: “You have no idea.” *grin* “So you guys start thinking about who you want in your bridal party, okay? Whether you want to do something more traditional, or whatever. I better check on Noelle. See you later!” *she leaves*

Rufus: *following her* “Tseng, I better not be paying just so you can find an excuse to wear a dress.” *leaves*

Tseng: *calls after him* “Oh, for the last time! I’m not a cross-dresser!!” *annoyed sigh* “I’m really starting to think he’ll never get it.”

(he turns around to find reeve on one knee)

Tseng: *blushing* “Oh, Reeve. Now?”

Reeve: “Now’s a good a time as any.” *takes tseng’s hand* “Well, what do you say, Tseng? Will you vow to love me forever in front of all our friends and marry me again?”

Tseng: “I’d do it in front of the whole world. I love you.”

Reeve: *kisses his hand* “And I love you, more than I have loved or will love again.”

Tseng: “Come here, you.”

(he pulls reeve up and kisses him forcefully. Tsengs the one to break it as well.)

Tseng: *seductively as he runs a hand down reeve’s chest* “What do you say we go practice for our second honeymoon?”

Reeve: “You know I’m always up for that.”


(later on, lark, Noelle, seph, vincent, auron, reno, rufus, edgar, setzer and algus are hanging out in the ramble room. Lark and Noelle are sitting at the table with reno, looking at something. Vin, seph and aur are on the couch, and rufus and the other present members of the mafia are standing in a circle, talking.)

Sephiroth: “Where are those nauseating love birds? Why are we stuck planning their whole wedding?”

Lark: “Because we’re their friends, Sephy.”

Noelle: “Besides. I wanna plan it. We’re gonna have lots and lots of taffeta!”

Reno: “What’s with the taffeta?”

Noelle: “It’s beyond your understanding.”

Auron: “I find weddings enjoyable.”

Vincent: “I do as well. Do you think we could ever get married, my angel?”

Sephiroth: “No offense, Vincent, but hell no.”

Vincent: “Oh.” *hangs head*

Rufus: “I don’t see why I have to be here while you plan. It’s not like I have an opinion. You’re just mooching off me.”

Lark: “That’s not true. Of course you have an opinion.”

Noelle: *showing lark a picture* “Here are those solid gold cufflinks with the diamonds you were looking at for the ushers, Lark.”

Lark: “Ooh, thanks.” *takes picture*

Rufus: *worriedly* “Uh, Lark—“

Lark: “Shut up, Rufus.”

Rufus: *sigh* “I knew it.”

Algus: “Don’t fret, Rufus. It will be a beautiful ceremony and they’ll be forever in your debt for paying for it.”

Edgar: “Will they be getting rings?”

Rufus: “Yeah, new ones. I can only imagine how expensive those will be.”

Setzer: “They really are…quite open with…everything.”

Rufus: “They didn’t used to be. It’s hard to hide something like that for long, especially around here.”

Edgar and Setzer: *sweat drops*

Algus: “Are you two homophobic?”

Edgar and Setzer: *quickly* “Oh no.”

Edgar: “Not at all.”

Noelle: “Ooh! Taffeta!” *points to the book*

Reno: “That’s ugly.”

Noelle: “Don’t insult the taffeta!”

Lark: “I think I should start to draw up the guest list. Wanna help, Seph?”

Sephiroth: “I’m bored as hell. Sure, why not?”

Lark: “Okay…well, of course we’ll have to invite everyone in the ramble room.”

Sephiroth: “Can we not invite Zell?”

Rufus: “I like that idea!”

Lark: “We’re inviting Zell!” *writes* “Okay… Of course we’ll have to invite Tseng’s friends and Sacha and the rest of the Tseng/Reeve shippers…”

Sephiroth: “Can I put up a sign that says ‘Beware of Yaoi Freaks’?”

Lark: “No! Who else? Oh, the Gundam guys, of course…”

Sephiroth: “A sign that says ‘Beware of Shrimps’ then?”

Lark: “No!” *pause* “Okay, I hate to say it, but what about the losers?”

Sephiroth: “Just because they bribed us into coming to Scarlet and Nida’s fake wedding doesn’t mean we have to invite them to a real one.”

Lark: “I have a feeling they’ll crash anyway. Besides, we have to invite Kuja. He and Tseng are friends.”

Noelle: “I love Kuja! He’ll understand the taffeta!”

Sephiroth: “Well don’t invite Hojo, even though he’ll come anyway, just out of principle.”

Algus: “What is it that makes Hojo worse than the others?”

Lark: “Would you want to invite someone to your wedding who raped you?”

Noelle and Sephiroth: “Twice?”

Setzer: “…I see.”

Sephiroth: “So anyway, back to my original question. Where *are* Reeve and Tseng?”

Lark: “In their room.”

Rufus: “Doing *what*, dare I ask.”

Reno: *snickers*

Rufus: “That’s what I thought. You know, don’t you think they should *not* do…*that* right before the wedding?”

Sephiroth: “It’s way the hell too late to save Tseng’s virginity anyway.”

Vincent: “You would know.”

Sephiroth: “Shut up, Vincent. Don’t get bitter just because I said I’d never marry you.”

Auron: “That was quite cruel of you.”

Sephiroth: “You stay out of this all together, Auroran.”

Auron: “My name is Auron.”

Sephiroth: “Auroran sounds better.”

(suddenly theres the sound of a doorbell)

Sephiroth: “Since when do we have a doorbell?”

Lark: “Since I made Rufus buy one.”

Rufus: “I’m nothing but a walking, breathing bank to you.”

Lark: “Nonsense, Rufus. You’re a *hot* walking, breathing bank.”

Rufus: *shrugs* “I can live with that.”

Lark: “I’m kidding. Now someone please go get the door.”

Setzer: “I’ll get it.”

Edgar: “I’ll go with you, sweetheart–‘s are good candy, aren’t they? Heh.” *sweat drop*

Setzer: *glares at him* “Yes they are.”

Rufus: “I think you meant sweet *tarts*.”

Edgar: “Right. Silly me.”

(they leave the room to go get the door.)

Setzer: *hisses* “You have to be more careful.”

Edgar: “You know it’s become second nature.”

(they get the door, and whos there, but a familiar face we havent seen in a long, *long* time. Edgar and setzer dont recognize her)

????: “Hi. I don’t remember you two.”

Setzer: “…And you would be…?”

????: *extends hand warmly* “Bria. I’m Reeve’s girlfriend.”

Edgar: “Pardon? Reeve’s *what*?”

Bria: “I haven’t been back for a long time, but I know him. He won’t have forgotten me.”

Setzer and Edgar: *blink blink*

Bria: “So you guys are new, huh? What are your names?”

Setzer: “Uh…I’m Setzer. He’s Edgar.”

Bria: “Oh right. Final Fantasy Six. Neat. I look forward to meeting all the new people. Right after I say hi to Reeve, of course.” *she steps inside* “He’ll be so happy to see me. I’ll see you later. Nice to meet you.” *she goes off*

Edgar: “I have a horrible sinking feeling my stomach.”

Setzer: “Me too.”


(meanwhile, back in reeve and tsengs room, theyre lying in bed, looking exhausted.)

Reeve: *panting* “You…are going…to kill me…one of these days….you know.” *grin* “And what a way to go!”

Tseng: “Hm.” *takes reeve’s hand and kisses it* “You’re the best, you know.”

(theres a knock at the door)

Reeve: “Who could that be?”

Tseng: *rolls onto his stomach* “Get that, Reeve.”

Reeve: “If I can find my clothes!”

(he pulls on some pants and goes to the door.)

Reeve: “Don’t get too comfortable, baby. I could go again.”

Tseng: *mutters* “That’s what you said last time, sweetie.”

(reeve opens the door and is totally and completely shocked at who he finds there. His jaw nearly hits the floor.)

Reeve: “B-Bria?”

Tseng: *sits up accidentally knocking the sheet off himself* “Bria?”

Bria: “Hi, Reeve!” *hugs him* “It’s great to see you again!”

Reeve: “Uh…it’s good to see you too, Bria.”

Bria: “I know it’s been a long time, but—“ *she glances over reeve’s shoulder and her smile fades* “Um, Reeve? Why is Tseng naked in your bed?”

Reeve: *whirls around* “Tseng!”

Tseng: *scrambles to cover himself* “Oh, sh*t! Sorry! I was just so surprised to see her!”

Bria: “Um…Reeve, honey? You want to explain to me what’s going on?”

Tseng: “*Honey*?”

Reeve: “What’s to explain?”

Tseng: “Maybe you need to spell it out for her that we just finished having sex.”

Bria: *eyes widening* “What?!”

Reeve: *sweat drops* “Uh, yeah. What he said.”

Bria: *slowly* “Um…okay… I can deal with that… I’m sorry for leaving you, Reeve, but I had to look for Zack. You know I always intended on getting back together with you when I got back.”

Reeve: “What? Getting back with me?”

Bria: “Of course! I still love you, Reeve.”

Tseng: “Hold up a minute!” *comes to the door with the sheet around his waist* “You mean all this time you were away you were gone because you were looking for Zack? Not because you knew?”

Bria: “Knew what?”

Tseng: *to reeve* “You told me she knew!!”

Reeve: “I thought she did!”

Bria: “What am I supposed to know??”

Tseng: “Reeve’s in love with me.”

Reeve: “Yeah…what he said.”

Bria: “…Are you serious?”

Tseng: “Quite.” *grabs reeve’s hand with the ring on it and holds it up as he shows off his own ring* “We’re getting married again very soon.”

Bria: “What?!?!” *looks at reeve in shock* “This is what you do behind my back!?”

Reeve: “I thought you knew!”

Bria: “No, I didn’t know! The whole time I was out there searching for *any* sign of my brother, I held onto the knowledge that when I returned you would still be waiting for me!”

Reeve: “I—I’m sorry.”

Bria: “Sorry? No. Sorry won’t work.” *looks at tseng* “I’m not buying this. Call me a bitch, but I didn’t come all this way just to let you go, Reeve.” *to reeve* “Let me back in your life, and you’ll see I’m the one who can give you what you need.”

Tseng: *grabs onto reeve’s arm* “It’s not up for debate, Bria. His mind is made up.”

Bria: “We’ll see about that. I’m not giving him up without a fight. I’ve come way the hell too far for that.” *she glares at tseng before storming off*

Tseng: *looks at reeve* “Is she out of her f***ing mind?” *gives reeve a shake* “You love me, right? You won’t leave me for her, right?”

Reeve: “Of course not.” *kisses the side of his head* “I just…don’t know what to say to her.”

Tseng: “I’ve got a few choice words for her right about now.”

Reeve: “Honey, she’s not San Diego.” *sigh* “I can’t smash someone’s heart without a care.”

Tseng: “It doesn’t look like you have a choice.”


Episode two: The Motivation

(the next day, feb. 7th, in the ramble room. sitting around we have lark, Noelle, reno, seph, vincent, auron, rufus, algus, edgar and setzer again. lark and Noelle are still hard at work on those wedding plans…)

Noelle: “How about these bridesmaid’s dresses?”

Lark: “I don’t really wanna wear taffeta.”

Noelle: *gasp* “What did you say?”

Reno: “She said she doesn’t wanna wear taffeta.”

Noelle: “I heard her, Reno!”

Sephiroth: “How can you pick out dresses if you don’t even know who’s in the bridal party yet?”

Rufus: “How can you call it a bridal party if there’s no bride?”

Everyone: *blink blink*

Lark: “…Anyway, Tsengy and Reeve should be telling us who they want soon. It doesn’t hurt to have a head’s up.”

Noelle: “They still have to tell us what colors they want us to wear too. Taffeta comes in like every color.”

Sephiroth: “*Why* am I still sitting here?”

Vincent: “Because you subconsciously wish to help with your friend’s wedding, my angel.”

(then the door opens and tseng comes in. he doesn’t look thrilled)

Tseng: “Hey, everybody.”

Lark: “Hey, Tseng!” *pause* “What’s wrong?”

Tseng: “Nothing.” *he places a piece of paper on the table* “Reeve and I made a list of who we want in the wedding.”

Lark: *taking it as she watches him worriedly* “Oh…thanks…”

Reno: “Are you okay, man? You don’t seem too excited.”

Tseng: “Sorry. I’m just tired.”

Rufus: “Maybe if you stopped screwing like rabbits you’d find time to sleep!”

Sephiroth: “And just when was the last time *you* got any, Rufus?”

Rufus: *stutters* “I…uh…I…um…”

Sephiroth: “That’s what I thought.”

Tseng: “Anyway, I’m going shopping with Kuja. I just thought I’d drop this off.”

Noelle: “Ooh! Sweetie, before you go, tell me what color dresses you want the girls to wear.”

Tseng: *looks at it* “Um…better go with the blue. That’s Reeve’s favorite color.”

Noelle: “Aw… Okay! You got it, babe! Blue taffeta it is!”

Sephiroth: “Dear god, with the taffeta, woman!”

Tseng: “See you all later.” *he leaves*

Lark: “What’s the matter with him? He didn’t seem tired to me.”

Rufus: “Maybe he’s realizing Reeve’s a dork and he doesn’t want to marry him after all.”

Edgar: “That’s quite cruel, Rufus.”

Rufus: “Hey, it’s not your money!”

Sephiroth: “Shut up, Rufus.”

Noelle: *looking at the list* “Ooh! I get to be a bridesmaid! All the ramble girls, Elena and Kuja do! Ooh, and Reno! You get to be an usher.”

Reno: “Cool.”

Noelle: “You too, Rufus!”

Rufus: “Oh great. I spend a ton of money and get paid back by getting seen as an usher at a gay wedding. And I bet I get Kuja on my arm!”

Lark: “Well you know he’d throw a fit if he couldn’t wear a dress.”

Noelle: “They want Rude and Tseng’s friends to be the other ushers.”

Rufus: “Who are these mysterious friends??”

Lark: *smile smile* “You’ll meet them tomorrow.”

Sephiroth: “What about me?”

Noelle: “You get to be the best man!”

Sephiroth: “I already am.”

Noelle: “And Lark’s the maid of honor.”

Lark: “Really? Awesome! I love those guys.”

Algus: “It sounds like it will be a lovely ceremony.”

Rufus: “Stop taking their side, Algus!”

(suddenly bria sticks her head in)

Bria: “Hi, everyone! Just wanted to say hi!”

(everyone who knows her turns to stare in shock, except for lark, who’s looking over the list)

Lark: *absently* “Hi, Bria.”

(bria leaves. then lark’s head snaps up)

Lark: “Hi….*Bria*???”

Rufus: *stammers* “T-th-that was Bria?!”

Algus: “Pardon me…but who’s Bria?”

Rufus: “She’s Reeve’s ex-*girlfriend*! I used to have a thing for her too.”

Noelle: “What the hell is Bria doing here? Do and Reeve and Tseng know she’s here?”

Lark: “They must! Maybe that’s why he looked so upset!”

Reno: “Well when did she get here?”

Sephiroth: “Come to think of it, we never did find out who was at the door yesterday…”

Everyone: *looks at edgar and setzer*

Edgar and Setzer: *sweat drops*

Edgar: “It must have slipped our minds.”

Setzer: “Yeah, we…totally forgot about it.”

Rufus: “Oh please! You’re horrible liars! I can see right through the both of you!”

Setzer: *mutters* “We’re screwed.”

Noelle: “I don’t believe it! What if she tries to break up the wedding!? I swear to god if I can’t have my taffeta–“

Reno: “Relax, sexy.”

Lark: “Reno’s right, Noelle. This is Bria we’re talking about. She’s so sweet and understanding. I’m sure she’ll be the first to congratulate them.”


(oh, lark, you happy idiot. you know nothing! anyway, shall we proceed to reeve’s room, where he seems to be missing something…)

Reeve: *drying his hair with a towel as he comes out of the bathroom* “Tseng? Honey? You still here?” *he looks around in confusion* “Where is he?”

(then comes a knock on the door. reeve goes and gets it. bria’s there. he looks a little shocked)

Reeve: “Oh. Hi, Bria.”

Bria: “Hi, Reeve. Can I come in?”

Reeve: “Uh, sure.” *he moves aside and lets her in*

Bria: “I think we need to talk.”

Reeve: “Me too.”

Bria: “I think you should break it off with Tseng.”

Reeve: “Uh…I don’t think so.”

Bria: “Reeve, let’s be sensible about this. I’m not homophobic or anything. But you’re not gay. He is. Do you really think you can commit yourself to a man when you’re attracted to women?”

Reeve: “Bria, I am seriously in love with him. As long as we love each other, what does it matter what sex he is, or if I’m attracted to women too? To me, he’s the most beautiful person in the world. Why would I want a woman?”

Bria: “Because he can’t give you children, Reeve.”

Reeve: *dryly* “And you can.”

Bria: “Well, yes.”

Reeve: “I don’t care about that. All I need is him. Besides, if we decide we want a kid, there’s always adoption.”

Bria: “Oh, come on, Reeve. You wanted a family so badly when we were together.”

Reeve: *hesitates* “Yes… But… Things change…”

Bria: “People don’t go *backwards*, Reeve.” *she moves towards the door* “If I were you, I would sit down and really think this through. Forget how good the sex is, and focus on what you really have with him that you didn’t have with me.”

Reeve: “……”

(bria leaves. reeve, looking sad, goes to sit down on the bed with a sigh.)


(meanwhile, at rufus’ mall *remember rufus’ mall?*, tseng and kuja are shopping. apparently, kuja shops like shell, because he’s holding a ton of bags.)

Kuja: “What’s the matter, honey? You’ve hardly said a word all day.”

Tseng: “And yet you waited all this time to ask me if something was wrong.”

Kuja: “Nothing is more important than shopping. Besides, I bought you that expensive lip gloss and I don’t even expect sex for it.”

Tseng: “Yeah. Thanks.”

Kuja: “So what’s the matter?”

Tseng: *deep sigh* “Reeve’s ex-girlfriend is back.”

Kuja: “So?”

Tseng: “So?! She’s trying to convince Reeve he shouldn’t marry me!”

Kuja: *laughs*

Tseng: “What’s so funny?”

Kuja: “You! Thinking Reeve would actually leave you for a woman!”

Tseng: “It could happen!”

Kuja: “Please. First of all, the man is madly in love with you. And sexually there’s no competition.”

Tseng: “How can you be so–“

Kuja: *gives him a look*

Tseng: “Okay, fine. But what if he’s still madly in love with her too?”

Kuja: “What did I just tell you.”

Tseng: “That’s not *that* important.”

Kuja: “Yes it is. And you know it. So don’t worry.”

Tseng: “I don’t want to think that the only reason Reeve would marry me over her is because of…that.”

Kuja: “Tseng, ‘that’ is the whole motivation of our species! We’re all obsessed with it, whether we like to admit it or not. It’s our nature!”

Tseng: “You seem more obsessed with it than Reno.”

Kuja: “You try only doing it with Hojo. Then see what happens to you.”

Tseng: *shudders*

Kuja: “So you see? There’s nothing to worry about. Let’s get manicures to celebrate.”

Tseng: *sighs not convinced* “Fine. But you’re paying.”

Kuja: “You’re lucky you’re marrying Reeve because *this* time I would expect something otherwise.”


Episode three: Invasion

(the next day, feb, 8th. our usual gang has gathered in the ramble room, continuing to make plans.)

Noelle: *waving a catalog angrily at reno* “I said taffeta! Not silk! Taffeta!!! Get it right!!”

Reno: “Okay! Geez! Stop waving that at me!!” *leaving* “I need booze.”

Lark: “Okay, let’s see. All the clothing has been taken care of. We have a menu. We have table settings and all that other crap. What else do we need?”

Sephiroth: “I like Reno’s booze idea.”

Noelle: “Omg, flowers! How could we be so stupid and forget those?”

Rufus: “I say you should get whatever’s cheapest.”

Algus: “Rufus, you really are quite frugal.”

Rufus: “I’m on a budget lately!”

Setzer: “Is that a hundred dollar bill peeking out of your pocket?”

Rufus: *tucking it back in* “It’s a thousand actually.”

Edgar: “Has anyone even spoken to Tseng or Reeve since yesterday?”

Noelle: “No. But I’m sure they’ll love everything! Taffeta and all!”

(there’s a knock at the door.)

Lark: “Can someone get that, please?”

Everyone: *looks at edgar and setzer*

Setzer: “Uh… I don’t think so.”

Edgar: “Last time we answered the door things did not turn out so well.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah, well, you’ve been selected. If it’s anyone who starts babbling about all the fun they used to have in the ramble room, call for back up.”

(so setzer and edgar go to get the door. they look at one another warily.)

Edgar: “I am almost a little afraid to open it.”

Setzer: “Me too. Who’s next? Tseng’s ex-boyfriend?”

(they open the door, and there are four guys standing there. one has light brown hair and light blue eyes, another is african-american with black hair and dark brown eyes, another has dark brown hair and blue eyes, and the last one is tall, with light brown hair and hazel eyes. they all have suitcases)

??????: *with the light hair and light blue eyes* “Hey. I’m Bryatt.” *extends hand* “Nice to meet you.”

Setzer: *confused but shaking his hand* “Uh… I’m Setzer. This is my…uh…friend Edgar.”

Edgar: “Pleased to meet you.”

Bryatt: “Cute.” *grins* “How long you two been together?”

Setzer and Edgar: “Uh…”

Bryatt: *gestures to the african-american guy* “This is my boyfriend, Rory. And that’s Darren.” *with the dark hair and blue eyes* “And Ben.” *the only one that’s left*

Setzer: “Hi. So, are you guys expected?”

Lark’s voice: “BRYATT!!!!!!!”

(she comes running up and pounces on bryatt)

Edgar: “…I believe that answered your question.”

Lark: “I’m so glad you guys could come! Tsengy’ll be so thrilled! Come in.”

(they all go into the ramble room)

Sephiroth: “Oh god, Lark. Are you over running the place with homosexuals again?”

Bryatt: “Well, we do make everything more gay.”

Sephiroth: “You can never keep your mouth shut, can you, Bryatt?”

Bryatt: “No longer than you can.”

Rufus: “You know these people, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: “They’re Tseng’s friends. You feeling sorry for me, Rufus?”

Bryatt: “He should feel more sorry for us.” *offers rufus his hand* “I’m Bryatt.”

Rufus: *grins* “I’m Rufus Shinra. I think I might actually like you. …Though not like that.”

Bryatt: *laughs* “That’s okay, I’m spoken for. Good to know I have a fan already. I’m one of those people either you love or you hate.”

Darren: “Or you put up with.”

Bryatt: “Very funny, Dar. I’ll get you back for that.”

Algus: “I assume you four will be in the wedding party?”

Rory: “Yup.”

Ben: “We’re looking forward to it.”

Bryatt: “Where is that little slut? I never thought he would be the first to tie the knot.”

Lark: “I’ll go get him. He’ll be so surprised! He doesn’t know you’re coming.” *she leaves*

Noelle: “Good. I can ask him about the taffeta.”

Sephiroth: “What if he doesn’t like it?”

Noelle: “Too bad. Taffeta!”


(lark goes to reeve and tseng’s room. the hallway is very quiet. she listens outside the door for a minute.)

Tseng: “Reeve, look at me.”

Reeve: “What?”

Tseng: “You’ve barely talked to me.”

Reeve: “I’m tired.”

Tseng: “I don’t remember you ever being too tired to make love before.”

Reeve: “Well… There’s a first time for everything.”

Tseng: “Reeve…”

Reeve: “I love you, okay? Don’t forget that.”

(there’s silence for a awhile)

Lark: *mutters to herself* “I never realized how thin the walls are.” *she knocks uncertainly*

(the door opens a second later, and there’s tseng, looking unhappy.)

Lark: “Hi, honey. Something wrong?”

Tseng: “No. Everything’s fine.” *sigh* “You need me for something?”

Lark: “Yeah, actually. Can you come to the ramble room for a sec?”

Tseng: “Yeah, sure.”

(he glances back into the room one more time before leaving the room, shutting the door and following lark to the ramble room.)

Tseng: “What is this about?”

Lark: “You’ll see.”

(she opens the door and tseng catches sight of his friends. he gasps as a huge smile comes to his face.)

Tseng: “OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(he runs over and hugs them excitedly.)

Tseng: “I didn’t know you guys were coming today!!!”

Bryatt: “Surprise, surprise!”

Ben: “We haven’t seen you in awhile.”

Darren: “You look great.”

Bryatt: “Of course he does. He always looks great.”

Tseng: “I’m so glad you guys are here. This has…made my day.”

Rory: “Even with Bryatt here?”

Bryatt: “Hey! Who said it was open season on me?”

Tseng: “*Especially* Bryatt, of course.” *big smile* “Well, come on! I wanna show you guys around!”

Sephiroth: “You gonna show them that broom closet you love so much??”

Vincent: “Angel, that’s not nice.”

Sephiroth: “Are you still here?”


(later. tseng’s having lunch with his friends)

Bryatt: “So, honey, I know you want to keep him all to yourself, but when are we going to meet Reeve?”

Tseng: *frowns* “Oh. Soon. Don’t worry.”

Darren: “Is something wrong?”

Tseng: “Of course not.”

Ben: “You can’t fool us, Tseng.”

Rory: “If you can’t talk about it with us, who can you talk about it with?”

Bryatt: *puts a hand on tseng’s shoulder* “Come on. I can tell something’s bothering you. You know we’ll do our best to help you.”

Tseng: *deep sigh* “I know.” *pause* “Reeve’s ex-girlfriend came back.”

Darren: “Oh my god.”

Tseng: “Yeah. And now she wants him back.”

Ben: “Are you serious?”

Tseng: “Unfortunately. She swears she won’t give up either! I was never thrilled with her before, but now I find myself hating her!”

Ben: “Understandable.”

Rory: “That bitch!”

Bryatt: “You took the words right out of my mouth, Rory darling.” *to tseng* “Just ignore her, honey.”

Tseng: “Easy for you to say! No one’s trying to steal your boyfriend!”

Rory: *chuckles* “That’s because no one else wants me.”

Tseng: “I’m seriously worried, you guys. He’s barely been talking to me, and last night…” *sigh*

Darren: “I can see where this is going…”

Ben: “Uh huh. I’m assuming you tried to initiate something?”

Tseng: “Of course I did! He just…blew me off.”

Bryatt: “Is he *insane*?”

Rory: “Bryatt.”

Bryatt: “Sorry. But who wouldn’t want to–“

Tseng: “Don’t…say it.”

Darren: “Tseng. Don’t get weird.”

Tseng: “Why does everyone act like that’s all I’m good for?”

Bryatt: “Well, you are *really* good at it.”

Darren: “Bryatt!”

Bryatt: “He knows he’s worth far more than that.”

Tseng: *gives bryatt a saddened look*

Rory: “Uh…no he doesn’t.”

Bryatt: “Tseng!! Honey!” *takes his shoulders* “That’s the least of what you’re worth!  You’re a wonderful person in so many ways! You mean the world to me. You know that.”

Tseng: “I’m not perfect, Bryatt. Why aren’t I convinced that he won’t leave me?”

Bryatt: “Because you’re crazy! Ben, tell him he’s crazy!”

Ben: “…Tseng. I’m worried about you.”

Bryatt: “Because you’re crazy.”

Ben: “No, Bryatt. Tseng, if you’re doubting Reeve’s love for you…”

Darren: “Maybe you should rethink this marriage.”


Darren: “Sorry.” *pats ben on the arm* “I had to finish it.”

Tseng: *with tears in his eyes* “Why can’t I be convinced that he loves me? Why aren’t I sure that he loves me like I love him?” *breaks down crying*

Bryatt: *hugs him* “Don’t cry, honey.” *gives ben a mean look*

Ben: “Tseng, I’m sorry.” *glances at darren*

Darren: “I… I’m sorry too.”

Tseng: “No. You’re right. You’re totally right.” *sniff* “I can’t marry him unless I’m sure. He says he loves me, but why doesn’t he act like it? What if seeing her made him realize what he’s lost?”

Rory: “So… What are you saying?”

Tseng: “If I’m not sure… ….I can’t go through with this.” *sniff* “Rufus will be happy. There might not be a wedding after all.”


Episode four: What You’re Worth

(the next day…feb. 9th…bryatt and tseng are walking down the hall outside the ramble room)

Bryatt: “You can’t avoid him.”

Tseng: “I can’t face him right now.”

Bryatt: “You have to.”

Tseng: “How can I face him knowing that he might not love me anymore?”

Bryatt: “Stop saying that.”

Tseng: “I can’t! I want to so badly, but I can’t!”

Bryatt: *puts an arm around him* “You can’t hide in my room forever.”

Tseng: “…..”

Bryatt: “I bet he misses you.”

Tseng: “…..”

Bryatt: “You’re not answering because you know it’s true.”

Tseng: “I hate you sometimes.”

Bryatt: “No you don’t.”

Tseng: “Why can’t things ever be simple, Bryatt? Why can’t things ever work out just the way you want and then you can live happily ever after?”

Bryatt: “Because then we would never learn anything.”

Tseng: *long pause* “I haven’t told anyone I’m calling off the wedding yet.”

Bryatt: “That’s because you’re not sure if you are yet.”

Tseng: “I don’t want to! I’m almost willing to drag him to the altar if he’s unwilling!” *sighs* “But I could never do that. I love him too much to…” *he looks down and studies his ring*

Bryatt: *squeezes his shoulder* “Tseng. It will all work out well for you because you deserve it. You’ve waited a long time for what you want. There’s no force, no matter how strong, that would take it from you now.”

Tseng: *sighs* “I wish I were more like you, Bryatt.”

Bryatt: *smiles* “Now you’re *really* talking crazy.” *pats him on the back* “Okay, babe. Here’s where I cut you loose. Find Reeve and talk to him because nothing will get better unless you do.”

Tseng: “Okay, okay.” *rolls eyes* “Just get out of here already.”

Bryatt: “You’re the boss!” *kisses tseng* “I’ll see you later, sweetie.” *he leaves*

(tseng smiles a little as he continues down the hall. he notices that the door to the ramble room is open. he goes inside. however, our usual wedding planners are not there! (out testing the taffeta, perhaps?) instead, who’s relaxing on the couch? no, not reeve! bria! tseng freezes in the doorway.)

Bria: “Oh. Hi, Tseng.”

Tseng: *blinks* “*That’s* what you say to me? You wreck my life and then say hello?”

Bria: “What a drama queen.”

Tseng: “Drama queen?! Reeve won’t even talk to me now!”

Bria: “He’s probably coming to his senses.”

Tseng: “What??”

Bria: “He’s probably realizing you can’t give him what he needs.”

Tseng: “I’ve been giving him what he needs ever since you’ve been gone.”

Bria: “Exactly. He was lonely. He turned to you. You gave him the love he was missing with me gone, and oh yeah–big surprise–he got some sex out of the deal.”

Tseng: “Pardon me? Reeve loves me back. I know he does.” *fists clench* “And don’t call me a slut again. Don’t you dare.”

Bria: “It makes you realize you’re not good enough for him, doesn’t it…? I’m sorry, Tseng. I really am. But if you really do love Reeve, which I don’t doubt you do, you’ll do what’s best for him.”

Tseng: *eyes fill with tears* “I…”

(but he can’t finish. instead he turns and runs back to bryatt’s room where he pounds on the door until it opens)

Bryatt: “Tseng! Oh, god! What happened, honey?”

Tseng: *crying* “Don’t talk. Please. Not now.”

(bryatt doesn’t. he just holds him.)


Episode five: Two too many


(we start with lark, sephiroth and Noelle standing outside of loser land. lark is rapping on the door)

Lark: “What, are they deaf?”

Sephiroth: “No. Just stupid. Can we go now?”

Noelle: “I hate to say no. We have to give Kuja and the others their invitations.”

Sephiroth: “I still can’t believe you’re inviting the rest of them!”

Lark: “Hojo’s not invited.”

Sephiroth: “He’ll come anyway!”

Lark: “I know. But he’s not invited.” *raps on the door again* “Where are these jerks??”

(suddenly the door does open, and there’s kefka, dressed as the clown)

Sephiroth: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! INVASION OF THE KILLER CLOWNS!!!!” *hides behind Noelle*

Noelle: “You have a million inch sword under your cape. I have a nail file in my pocket. You really think I can protect you?”

Kefka: “Hehehehehe!!! Tuna fish!!” *spits and disappears*

Lark: *blink blink* “…I’m almost sorry I sent him here.”

Nida: *peeking out from behind the couch* “Is he gone?”

Scarlet: *sitting up* “He’s in one of his crazy clown moods again.”

Nida: “I’m covered in spit!”

Scarlet: “Me too. But I’m kind of used to it.”

Kuja: *from somewhere out of view* “Hojo, he’s gone. You can stop hiding your face in my crotch now.”

Hojo: “But he might come back!”

(there’s the sound of someone hitting the ground hard. kuja then comes into view)

Kuja: “Oh. It’s you. Greetings.”

Noelle: “Hi, Kuja! Is that new lip gloss?”

Kuja: “It is. You like?”

Seymour: *from another room* “That’s *mine*!!”

Kuja: *snort* “You wish it was yours.”

Heidegger: *coming out of the kitchen with a sub sandwich and a cowering stinky on his shoulder* “Gya haa haa! Clowns are funny!”

Stinky: *unhappy snort of fear*

Kuja: “So what brings you to our hell hole?”

Nida: “Hey! I told you, it’s not a hell hole! It’s a happy hole!”

Scarlet: “Nah, we don’t have enough drugs to call it that.”

Lark: “Here.” *hands him invitations* “These are for Reeve and Tseng’s wedding.”

Scarlet: “They’re getting married?” *reflective sigh* “It seems like only yesterday I was molesting them both.”

Nida: “But Tseng’s gay!”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Desperate!”

Scarlet: “Shut up, Heidegger!”

Lark: “Call me crazy…but there’s one for all of you…except Kefka.”

Kuja: “Oh, he’s not human anyway.”

Lark: “–Or Hojo.”

Kuja: “We’re still not sure about him.”

Hojo: “What?!?! Why don’t I get one???”

Lark: “Because you raped Tseng.”

Noelle and Sephiroth: “*Twice*.”

Hojo: “Oh is that *all*?”

Sephiroth: “You make me sick.”

Kuja: “You and me both.”

Hojo: “I’m coming anyway!”

Lark: “I know. But rest assured, you’re not invited.”

Sephiroth: “And no wedding gifts that move!”

Hojo: “How about ones that–“

Sephiroth: “No!!!”

Hojo: “…Fine.” *pouts*

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Licky licky!”

Lark: “Okay. We’re going. Kuja, you wanna come?”

Other losers: *gasp in shock*

Scarlet: “She invited Kuja to go with them!!”

Nida: “He’s been chosen!”

Sephiroth: “Shut up, idiots!!”

Kuja: “Certainly. Let me just get my purse.” *grabs it* “I’m ready.”

(they start to walk away)

Hojo: “Son! Can I come too?”

Sephiroth: “Over my dead body, Vincent’s, and the licky licky monster’s.”

Hojo: “But the licky licky monster can’t die!”

Sephiroth: “I’ve made my point.”

(once they’re safely away from loser land, the gang starts to talk)

Noelle: “Kuja, you have to see all the great taffeta I got for the dresses and stuff!”

Kuja: “I’ll get to wear some, of course.”

Noelle: “Of course!”

Lark: “Has anyone seen Tseng or Reeve lately?”

Sephiroth: *snort* “Lark. Haven’t we already established what they’re doing already?”

Lark: “No… I don’t think it’s that anymore. I got a weird vibe from them the other day.”

Sephiroth: “Maybe you’re going crazy. The first sign is seeing things that aren’t there. The second is burning things.”

Lark: “You would know.”

(they walk into the ramble room, where they find reeve sitting on the couch looking dejected. he looks up at them when they come in.)

Lark: “Hey, Reeve.”

Reeve: *sounding miserable* “Hey. Have you guys seen Tseng?”

Everyone: “….No…”

Lark: “Why?”

Reeve: *heavy sigh* “Two nights… Haven’t seen him.”

Kuja: “You haven’t seen your husband for two *days*?!?!”

Reeve: *looks like he’s gonna cry* “I know… I just… I should have talked to him…”

Lark: *puts an arm around him* “Reeve… Does this have anything to do with Bria?”

Reeve: *nods as he starts to cry* “I didn’t know what to say to him, Lark! She made some points…”

Noelle: “Wait, *what*? What did she say?”

Reeve: “She wants me back. And I… I don’t know. I don’t really love her… Compared to Tseng, it’s like nothing, but…”

Kuja: “No but! Don’t listen to that bitch! Where is she? I can still cast ultima like nobody’s business!”

Noelle: “I’ll help!” *gets out nail file*

Sephiroth: *shrugs* “Sure, me too. I like killin’.”

Lark: “Calm down. All of you.” *to reeve* “Reeve, what ‘but’?”

Reeve: “Well… You know, he can’t give me children. And if I’m with Bria no one will give us funny looks when we hold hands.”

Lark: “All right. I’m in. Let’s kill her.”

Noelle: “Are you telling me that I have all these flowers, all these invitations, all this food, all this champagne and all this taffeta and YOU DON’T WANNA GET MARRIED!?”

Reeve: *cries harder*

Lark: “Noelle!”

Kuja: “Make him cry more! He deserves it!”

Sephiroth: “Ladies! Ladies!! Back off and let a man handle this.” *he claps a hand on his shoulder* “I’ll talk to him. Come on, Reeve.” *he takes reeve out of the room*

Noelle: “I don’t believe this.”

Kuja: “Poor Tseng…” *sigh* “No wonder no one’s seen him. He’s heart broken.”

Noelle: “We are having a gay wedding if I have to force Sephiroth to marry Vincent!!”

Vincent: *pokes his head in the room* “Could you?”


(meanwhile, seph takes reeve into the tv room and locks the door)

Sephiroth: “Stop crying, Reeve. It doesn’t help and it hurts my head.”

Reeve: “I’m upset here!”

Sephiroth: “Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love Tseng?”

Reeve: “Of course not! I do love him!”

Sephiroth: “And what if you had a choice between never seeing him again and getting ‘strange looks’ when you held hands with him?”

Reeve: “I couldn’t not see him again. I couldn’t. I need him.”

Sephiroth: “Hasn’t he always been there for you?”

Reeve: “Of course.”

Sephiroth: “Hasn’t he given you everything he has?”

Reeve: “Yes… He really has.”

Sephiroth: “And yet you feel like your life isn’t complete with him?”

Reeve: “No! No, that’s not it at all!”

Sephiroth: “Then why change anything?? Reeve. Every time you and Tseng look at one another you make everyone else but Lark and Noelle wanna puke. And why? Because everyone can tell that you two love one another more than anything. Love doesn’t *get* any purer than it does with you two. You both just have such low self esteem that you can’t believe anyone can love you like that, no matter how much you tell each other. So you love a man. Big deal. So do I. It’s still love. Don’t let it go because you were too much of a coward.”

Reeve: *head in his hands* “Oh god. Oh god, you’re right. You’re so right! Without him…my life…would be empty. …How can I make him see that?”

Sephiroth: “Yeah… I haven’t really mastered that yet. Might want to get advice from someone else on that.”

Reeve: *firmly* “I love him. We *will* get married.”

Sephiroth: “Good. There’s nothing worse than a gang of angry yaoi fans.”


Episode six: The Last Tears

(feb. 11th. bryatt, rory, ben and darren are standing outside the room rory and bryatt are staying in, talking)

Bryatt: “He still won’t come out. Every time I mention Reeve he cries.”

Darren: “That’s not healthy. You should drag him out.”

Rory: “We’ve tried.”

Ben: “Has anyone even *seen* Reeve?”

Bryatt: “*No*. I bet the jerk’s in hiding. And good thing, because if I see him, I’ll hit him.”

Darren: “Okay, relax, Bryatt. Let Ben and I try talking to him.”

Bryatt: “Dar, I talked to him all last night and got two hours sleep. Talking won’t help.”

Ben: “Doesn’t hurt to try.”

Bryatt: “Fine. Be my guest.”

(he steps aside and lets ben and darren go in. they find tseng sitting on the bed, looking totally unhappy.)

Darren: “Hi, Tseng.”

Tseng: “You’ve come to take pity on me too?”

Ben: “No. We came to get you out of this room.”

Tseng: *shakes head* “I can’t. I can’t see Reeve. I–” *gets choked up*

Darren: “Tseng…” *he goes to sit besides him and puts an arm around his shoulder* “I know you’re hurting, Tseng, but you have to get up and move on. Sitting here and not doing anything won’t get you anywhere. Suck it up and go talk to Reeve like an adult.”

Ben: “If you won’t go, we *will* drag you.”

Darren: “Come on, Tseng. You can’t give up. Go and fight for what you want.”

Ben: “Now are you gonna get up, or am I gonna have to call for backup?”

Tseng: “………….” *sighs* “I guess I don’t really have a choice.” *he gets up* “I know Reeve loves me. Just… I worry that he can do better.”

Darren: “Tseng, you love him with all your heart, don’t you?”

Tseng: “Of course.”

Ben: “He can’t be expected to do much better than someone who loves him so much, now can he?”

Tseng: *small smile*  “…No. I guess not.”


(and so tseng gets up and leaves the room. hooray! he starts his search, where else, but the ramble room. but it’s empty.)

Tseng: *sigh* “Not here.”

Bryatt: “Well, onto the next place!”

????: “Reeve…?”

Tseng: *pause* “Oh sh*t.”

Bria: *enters* “Oh.” *pause* “You.”

Tseng: *crosses arms* “Oh. *You*. Can’t find Reeve?”

Bria: “…No. Have you seen him?”

Tseng: “No. But I’m looking.”

Bria: “Oh.” *pause* “Calling off the wedding?”

Tseng: “You wish. We’re going to talk about this and work it out.”

Bria: “What if he’s changed his mind?”

Tseng: “I have a feeling things will be just fine.”

Bria: “What makes you so sure?”

Tseng: *firmly* “Look, I’m *not* going to let you intimidate me. You can’t come between us.”

Bria: “I already have. You two obviously don’t love one another enough if you don’t trust how the other really feels about you. What kind of relationship is that? I did you a favor. Now you can go back to being friends like you’re supposed to be.”

Tseng: “No!! I won’t let him go! I’ve loved him far longer than you have! Ever since I laid eyes on him I longed to call him mine. Now I-I *have* him, and I’d do anything for him. Anything.”

Bria: “Even leaving him alone if that’s what he wants?”

Tseng: “I–“

?????: “That won’t be necessary.”

(everyone turns to the voice in the doorway. it’s reeve!)

Tseng and Bria: “Reeve!”

Reeve: *comes and wraps an arm around tseng’s waist* “Stop fighting. I’m not worth it.”

Tseng: “You are *totally* worth it.”

Reeve: *to bria* “Bria. I’m sorry. You made me think. You really did. But it only made me realize how much I really love Tseng and how much he means to me. There’s nothing in the world worth leaving him for.” *looks at tseng* “I’m sorry, baby. I owe you a million apologies. Can you forgive me?”

Tseng: *smiles* “I think so.”

Reeve: *to bria* “Bria… I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”

Bria: *shrugs with a sigh* “What is there to say? I’m sorry it couldn’t work out. I do love you, Reeve, but I respect your decision. As long as you’re happy.” *sigh* “…I guess I’ll see you.” *she leaves*

Reeve: *back to tseng* “Tseng…” *holds him closer* “I was stupid.”

Tseng: “Me too.”

Reeve: “I’m sorry if I didn’t do enough to convince you I love you.”

Tseng: “It’s not your fault. I just… I feel like I’m not good enough for you sometimes.”

Reeve: “Honey, it couldn’t be farther from the truth. If anything, I’m not good enough for you.”

Tseng: “No, I–“

Bryatt: “Just shut up and kiss already.”

Rory: “You’re such a hentai, Bry.”

Bryatt: “I am not. I just wanna see some closure!”

(tseng and reeve do kiss longingly. aww….)

Reeve: “So…what do you say. Will you still marry me?”

Tseng: “You better believe it. And there’s no getting out of it.”

Reeve: “I’d never want to. I love you.”

Tseng: “I love you too.”

(they kiss again.)

Ben: *looks at darren* “Honey…are you crying?”

Darren: *wiping at his eyes* “Oh, thanks, Ben. Go and make me look like a fool.”

Bryatt: *happy sigh* “Well, it’s all well that ends well, right Rory?”

Rory: “Don’t be too quick on those words, Bry. We still have the wedding. I’m sure there’s more fun to come.”

Bryatt: “As long as the angst is over. I swear, there were enough tears around here to fill an ocean! And *Darren’s* not helping!”

Darren: *still wiping at his eyes* “Shut up!!”


Episode seven: Bare Essentials

(in the ramble room we have bryatt, rory, ben and darren. bryatt is sitting at the table with a piece of paper in front of him. the others are sitting at the table too)

Bryatt: “Okay, let’s plan this bachelor party. Who should we invite?”

Darren: “I don’t think Tseng wants a bachelor party.”

Bryatt: “Sure he does! And hell, so do I! I know where we can get a really hot stripper.”

Rory: “I’m sitting right here, Bry.”

Bryatt: *grins* “I was talking about you.”

Rory: “Ha ha. Very funny.”

Bryatt: “Seriously, though. I know some of the guys are planning to throw one for Reeve. So, it’s only fair that Tseng gets one too. Now who should we invite?”

Ben: “Hmmm… Well, I don’t think any of the ramble girls would object to a male stripper.”

Bryatt: “I’m way ahead of ya. Besides, I know Lark would kill me if I didn’t invite her. I’m also inviting Kuja, of course… Even though we haven’t really met him yet. Oh, and that girl Elena who’s a bridesmaid. And I’m inviting Sephiroth and Vincent and Edgar and Setzer. They’re a cute couple, don’t you think?”

Guys: *nod*

Darren: “Oh, I got hit on by a guy named Zidane.”

Ben: “What?!”

Bryatt: “Zidane, huh?” *writes it down*

Darren: “Ben, honey, relax. I told him I was involved.”

Rory: “Hey. What about that guy Zell?”

Guys: *blink blink*

Bryatt: “I don’t know… Is he even bi?”

Darren: “It’s too hard to tell.” *shrugs* “You could just invite him and if he says no, he says no.”

Bryatt: “Agreed.” *writes it down* “Is that it?”

Ben: “I guess.”

Bryatt: *shrugs* “If we missed anyone, they can just show up. I’m not picky. That’s why I’m with Rory.” *grin*

Rory: “If anyone’s not picky, it’s me and you know it.”

Bryatt: “Heh heh. You’re right.” *kisses rory* “Okay, then. Time to get some invitations printed up and start handing them out!”

Ben: “When exactly is this bachelor party?”

Bryatt: “Tonight. We really gotta get moving.”

Darren: “Tonight?!”

Bryatt: “Yeah! Well, what other time is there? Tomorrow’s the rehearsal dinner, and then it’s the wedding!”

Ben: “Yeah, he’s right. There is kinda no other choice.”

Bryatt: “So come on! Let’s get going! I still have to book that stripper!”

Rory: “Sorry, I’m scheduled for the week.”

(bryatt gives him a playful push, then grabs him by the hand and all the guys leave.)


(a short time later, in the ramble room….lark and Noelle are sitting at the table now. shell is on the couch painting her nails.)

Lark: “This is great. Everything’s set. The invitations are out, and everyone’s coming. Treize and Zechs begged to be able to sing, but I told them no.”

Shell: “Thank god!”

Noelle: “This wedding will be so beautiful.” *sigh*

Shell: “Hey, you guys. I’ve been thinking…. Should we throw Tseng a bridal shower?”

Lark: “What? No! He’s not a bride!”

Shell: “But… It feels weird not to have a bridal shower.”

Noelle: “Well there’s no bride, honey.”

Lark: “What are you, Rufus?”

Shell: “No! But… How are they going to get any presents?”

Noelle: “Um…at the wedding?”

Lark: “Bridal showers suck. I would never want one.”

Noelle: “You never want a wedding either.”

Lark: “Bridal showers are worse. You tell me what’s fun about sitting around watching someone open blenders and waffle irons.”

Shell: “Nothing… But they’re still presents.”

(suddenly, the doorbell is heard)

Lark: *looking around* “Where are Setzer and Edgar when you need them?”

Setzer and Edgar: *plodding past the door* “Coming…”

(and so, setzer and edgar go and stand before the door.)

Setzer: “Why do we always get stuck doing this?”

Edgar: “I really do not know.”

(they open the door. there’s just one girl standing there.)

Setzer and Edgar: *blink blink*

?????: “Hi! I’m Sacha.”

Setzer: “Have you ever dated Reeve?”

Sacha: “…No…”

Edgar: “Oh. Come right in then.”

Sacha: “Thanks.” *she does* “Setzer and Edgar, right?”

Setzer and Edgar: *nod*

Sacha: “Nice to meet you. Lark or Noelle around?”

Setzer and Edgar: “In the ramble room.” *point*

Sacha: *blink blink* “Do you guys do everything in unison?” *she heads for the ramble room*

Setzer: *glares at edgar* “Stop copying me! People will get suspicious!”

Edgar: “Perhaps it’s you who should stop copying me!”

Setzer: *sigh* “Forget it. Let’s go.”

(they follow Sacha to the ramble room, where lark and noelle are hugging Sacha excitedly)

Noelle: “Sacha!! Hooray!!”

Lark: “I’m glad you could make it!”

Sacha: “I’m glad I was invited!” *grins* “So where is everyone?”

Shell: *still painting her nails* “Rude went out to get me a dress for the wedding.”

Noelle: “But you’re a bridesmaid. We already got our dresses!”

Shell: “Rude doesn’t know that yet. He thinks I needs a dress.” *snickers*

Lark: “…Okay. Anyway, I’m not sure where anyone else is. You’ll meet them all eventually, in all their obnoxious glory.”

(then bryatt, rory, darren and ben come back. bryatt has a stack of invitations.)

Bryatt: “I’m back! Who missed me?”

Lark: “I did!”

Bryatt: “I knew someone would.” *grins*

Lark: “You guys, meet my friend Sacha. Sacha, these are Tseng’s friends, Bryatt, Rory, Darren and Ben.”

Sacha: “Hi. It’s nice to finally meet you guys.”

Bryatt: “I hope you come to Tseng’s bachelor party.” *starts handing out the invitations*

Lark: *grins* “Now *this* is what you’re supposed to do before a wedding. Not those sissy bridal showers.”

Shell: “Agreed. Count me in. I’ll call Rude and have him pick me up another outfit for tonight.” *picks up her cell phone and leaves*

Noelle: “Is Tseng gonna be surprised?”

Rory: “If Bryatt can keep his mouth shut about it.”

Darren: “Studies have proven Bryatt can’t keep his mouth shut for more than five minutes.”

Bryatt: “Hey, I resent that! I can keep a secret!” *he gets to edgar and setzer and hands them invitations* “Here you go!”

Edgar and Setzer: *blink blink*

Sacha: *mutters* “There they go again.”

Setzer: “You’re inviting us?”

Bryatt: “Uh…yeah. That’s kind of why there’s an invitation in my hand being held in your direction.”

Edgar: “Perhaps you don’t realize we’re straight.”

Setzer: “Yup. Straight. As in we prefer the company of women.”

Bryatt: *rolls his eyes* “Yeah. And so does Kevin Kline’s character in “In & Out”.” *shoves the invitations in their hands* “You’re coming.”

Edgar and Setzer: *exchange a look*

Setzer: “Well… All right…”

Edgar: “But we’re still straight, remember.”

Setzer: “Right. We’re only coming because Tseng is our friend.” *pauses* “…Will there be a stripper?”

Bryatt: *knowing smile* “Can’t have a bachelor party without one.”

Setzer: “Oh goo–er…” *cough* “Um, just wanted to be clear on the facts. See you later, then. Let’s go, Edgar.”

(he and edgar make a hasty exit)

Noelle: *reflective sigh* “I remember when Reeve and Tseng used to act like that.”

Lark: “Who else is coming, tonight, Bryatt?”

Bryatt: “Um…the rest of the ramble girls, Sephiroth and Vincent–even if Sephiroth wasn’t thrilled–Zidane, and I still have to give invitations to Elena, Kuja and Zell.” *blink* “Zell’s bi, right?”

Noelle and Lark: *shrug*

Lark: “Your guess is as good as ours.”

Bryatt: “…All right then. We’re gonna give the rest of these out. See you girls later.” *he and the other guys leave*

Sacha: “Well, this should be fun.”

Noelle: “Should be. But you’re in ramble country now, honey. Something’s bound to go horribly wrong.”


(ok, so…several hours later, back to the bed of reeve and tseng *hentai grin* they’re lying there, looking exhausted…)

Tseng: “I love make-up sex.”

Reeve: “Did that still count as make-up sex?”

Tseng: “It all counts until we actually get out of bed.”

Reeve: “I have no intention of moving then.”

(there’s a knock at the door)

Reeve: “Aw…dammit. I spoke too soon.”

Tseng: “If it’s Bria, slam the door in her face.”

Reeve: “Honey…”

(half dressed, reeve opens the door. it’s rufus, who’s wincing.)

Rufus: “Hey, Reeve. Hate to break up your little ‘pre-honeymoon’ you got going here, but I’ve been sent to separate you two.”

Tseng: “What? Why?”

Rufus: *shields eyes* “You wanna put clothes on?”

Tseng: “Er…sorry.” *pulls the sheet up* “Why?”

Rufus: “Don’t freak out. It’s just until the rehearsal dinner tomorrow. And then again until the wedding. Can’t have you two getting sick of each other before then. So come on, Reeve. Pack up your stuff and let’s go.”

Tseng: *frowns* “Oh… Come on… Don’t take him from me…”

Rufus: “Too bad. Whining won’t work on me.”

Reeve: “It’s just for a day, honey. Besides, absence makes the heart grow stronger.” *leans over and kisses tseng*

Rufus: “Okay… If this is just to torture me… It’s working.”

Tseng: *kisses back* “I’ll miss you.”

Reeve: “I’ll miss you too. I love you.”

Tseng: “I love you too.”

Rufus: “Okay! I’m officially ill! Let’s go!”

(with one more kiss, reeve grabs his stuff and follows rufus out as bryatt and the other guys file in)

Bryatt: “Hi, honey!”

Tseng: *sarcastically* “I’m glad to know my room has become a hang out now that I’m *naked*.”

Bryatt: “That’s okay. We don’t mind.” *grins* “How about getting dressed and coming to hang out with us?”

Tseng: “Where?”

Ben: “You’ll see. Just get ready.”

Tseng: “You’re not gonna take me to Hooters as some kind of sick joke, are you?”

Darren: “Give us a little credit.”

Rory: “Yeah. None of us could stomach it.”

Bryatt: “So get up! We’re going out.”

Tseng: *sigh* “Fine, fine.” *mutters* “Just wish I knew where we were going…”

(flash to later, where bry and the other guys are standing behind a stunned tseng in some random bar. all the guests are standing in front of him.)

Everyone: “Surprise!”

Tseng: “Holy crap you threw me a bachelor party.”

Bryatt: “Yup!” *claps him on the shoulder* “Enjoy your last hurrah as a single man.”

Tseng: “Technically I’m already married.”

Rory: “Vegas doesn’t count.”

Darren: “Well go around and say hi to all your guests.”

Tseng: “I am!” *he goes over to the ramble girls and Sacha* “Hey, you guys.”

Lark: “Hi, Tsengy!” *hugs him* “We’re all excited about the wedding. Even me. And I usually hate them.”

Noelle: “It’s gonna be great. Tons of taffeta!”

Lizzie: “Oh geez with the taffeta…”

Ashley: “It was really sweet of you to pick us as bridesmaids, Tseng.”

Katie: “Yeah! Thanks!”

Shell: “Yeah, Tseng. Do you like my new outfit? Rude bought it.”

Tseng: “Oh, you girls are welcome. You’ve always been really good friends to Reeve and I. And yes, Shell. That’s a very nice outfit.”

Sacha: “Hey, Tseng, you and Reeve look really cute together. I’ve always thought so.”

Tseng: “Thanks… Nice to have someone with the opposite opinion of Rufus.”

Sacha: “I think he might need a good smack once in awhile.”

Tseng: “I couldn’t object to that.”

(next he goes over to elena)

Elena: “Tseng! I’m so glad I’m gonna be part of your wedding! And I’m happy for you! Really!”

Tseng: “Elena…”

Elena: “Yes, Tseng?”

Tseng: *hugs her* “Thank you.”

(next he heads over to edgar and setzer)

Tseng: *knowing smile* “Oh. What brings two straight guys here?”

Edgar and Setzer: “Uh…”

Setzer: “We came, because, you know, you’re our friend.”

Edgar: “Right. And to prove to you that the gay thing doesn’t bother us at all.”

Setzer: “So, uh…” *cough* “We…uh…heard there’ll be a stripper?”

Tseng: “Are you kidding me?” *laughs* “I’ll have to talk to Bryatt about that!” *he moves on to talk to zell*

Edgar: *elbows setzer* “Stop talking about the stripper!”

Setzer: “Ow!”

Edgar: “You know… Sometimes I think perhaps I’m not enough for you anymore.”

Setzer: “Shut up before someone hears you.”

(back over to tseng talking to zell, zidane…and wakka)

Tseng: *a little confused* “Uh…hi, Zell. Hi, Zidane.”

Zell: “Hey, Tseng! Look, I brought Wakka!”

Wakka: “Congratulations are in order, ya?”

Zidane: “Yeah! Totally!”

Tseng: “Uh…thank you.”

Zell: “I hope your marriage lasts forever! …Not like me and Rufus.” *frowns*

Wakka: *pats him on the shoulder* “It’s not the end of the world, ya?”

Tseng: “Well…thanks for coming you guys.”

Zell: “Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss it!”

Tseng: *moving on to talk to kuja mumbles to himself* “I’ll never understand him…”

Kuja: “Ah, there you are, sweetie! Can I tell you how excited I am about your wedding? And not only about the dress–though it *is* beautiful, Noelle has quite exquisite taste, but I am actually excited *for* you.”

Tseng: “Thank you, Kuja. From you, that is a compliment.”

Kuja: “Oh, Tseng, it seems just like yesterday we were fighting at Nida and Scarlet’s fake wedding. Now you’re getting married yourself!”

Tseng: “The scary thing is I caught the bouquet too.”

Kuja: *kisses him*

Tseng: *blinks* “W-What was that for?”

Kuja: “Can’t I kiss my friends?”

Tseng: “I guess…” *pause* “Do you *have* any other friends?”

Kuja: “I’m too deep for most people.”

Tseng: “Uh huh.”

Kuja: “Well, don’t let me keep you. I have to find the rest room anyway. It’s been too long since I’ve been in front of a mirror.”

(he goes off and tseng walks over to sephiroth, vincent and auron)

Tseng: “Hey, you guys.”

Sephiroth: “Best for last, huh.”

Tseng: “I see you brought your whole ‘choo choo train’.”

Sephiroth: “What?!!?! Dammit! I should have known better than to trust Rufus with that one!”

Vincent: “I do not understand.”

Sephiroth: “Shut up, Vincent. That’s because you’re part of the problem.”

Vincent: *sigh* “I see. Anyway, Tseng. Many congratulations to you.”

Auron: “As it has been said, a good marriage is the union of two forgivers.”

Sephiroth: “Now’s not the time to spout stupid advice, Auroran.”

Vincent: “It’s Auron.”

Sephiroth: “Auroran sounds better.”

Tseng: “Thanks for the congratulations, you guys. It means so much that I have such loving friends.”

Sephiroth: *snorts*

Tseng: “Sephiroth… Could I speak to you alone a second?”

Sephiroth: “Sure.” *to vincent* “Hear that? Take the caboose and attach to someone else for a little while.”

Vincent: “I don’t appreciate that comment. You can brush your own hair tonight.” *he and auron leave*

Sephiroth: *sighs and hangs his head* “I brought that on myself.”

Tseng: “…Anyway, I just wanted to thank you.”

Sephiroth: “Thank me for what?”

Tseng: “For talking to Reeve. He…told me what you said.”

Sephiroth: “I didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know.”

Tseng: “You still helped.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah, well. I don’t like to see you unhappy.”

Tseng: “Well…thank you. Your friendship means a lot to me too.”

Sephiroth: “….I…probably should admit that I’m really honored to be your best man.”

Tseng: *beams* “I knew it could be no one but you. You’ve always been there for me.”

Sephiroth: “Well, of course. I mean, right after Vincent and Lark…”

Tseng: “I know.” *pats him on the arm* “So thanks.”

Sephiroth: “You’re more than welcome. Now get on with your party while I try to convince Vincent to brush my hair for me… I can’t do it all myself!”

Tseng: “Hehe, okay then, Sephy.” *he goes back over to bry and the others* “Well…we gonna have a party, or what?”

Bryatt: “You want me to start blasting ‘It’s Raining Men’?”

Tseng: *laughs* “Go right ahead! Oh…by the way…what’s this I hear about a stripper?”

Darren, Ben and Rory: *point to bryatt* “His idea.”

Bryatt: *grins* “Guilty as charged.”

Tseng: *grins* “I knew I kept you around for a reason.”

Bryatt: “And here I was thinking it was my infectious personality!”

Darren: “Infectiously bad.”

Bryatt: “Okay, okay… Does anyone else have a comment before we start the party?”

Rory: “You really want us to think?”

Ben: “I’m sure we could come up with something.”

Bryatt: “Don’t bother, I’m laughing already.” *throws an arm around tseng* “Okay, honey. You ready?”

Tseng: “Most definitely.”


(meanwhile, back at the ramble room…reeve is unpacking his stuff in rufus’ room…)

Reeve: “Must I sleep on the floor?”

Rufus: “Hey! You’re not even married yet and you wanna cheat?”

Reeve: “No!!” *sigh* “I meant the couch!”

Rufus: “You can’t have the couch! That’s for Mr. Jingles!”

Reeve: “He has his own bed!” *points to a little bed that has ‘mr. jingles’ written on the side*

Rufus: “That’s his back-up bed. The couch is his third back-up. Mr. Jingles sleeps with me.”

Reeve: “Then why does he need two back-up beds?!”

Rufus: “He’s a very fussy bear!”

Reeve: *frowns and grumbles unhappily about mr. jingles*

(there’s a knock at the door)

Rufus: “Who is it?”

????: “It’s Reno.”

Rufus: “Reno who?”

Reno’s voice: “Geez, how many do you know?!”

Rufus: “Maybe you’re one I don’t know.”

Reno’s voice: “I’m just comin’ in.”

(he does, followed by irvine)

Reno: “Hey, Reeve, man! How’s it going?”

Reeve: “I have to sleep on Rufus’ floor. How do you think I feel?”

Irvine: Beats sleepin’ in hay.”

Everyone: *blink blink*

Irvine: “Well, someone’s gotta make sure the cows don’t escape!”

Reno: “Anyway, man. Today’s your lucky night!”

Reeve: “Omg, did the 5th Harry Potter book come out?”

Reno: “Uh…no. We’re gonna give you a bachelor party!”

Reeve: *sweat drops* “….Uh, that’s okay, guys, but I don’t need a bachelor party.”

Irvine: “Nonsense! We already reserved the table at the strip club!”

Reeve: *more sweat drops* “Strip club?”

Reno: “Yeah! A real classy one too! My personal favorite!”

Irvine: “Yeah! Besides, you like chicks.”

Reeve: “Yeah, I guess. I’m just not used to them.”

Reno: “Well, it doesn’t hurt to take one last look at what you’re giving up, eh?” *winks* “So, how ’bout it?”

Reeve: *shrugs* “Beats Rufus brushing Mr. Jingles, I guess.”

Rufus: *hugs mr jingles* “Don’t let him hear you!”

Irvine: “Cool! We’re gonna get you so drunk!!” *high fives reno*

Reeve: *lots of sweat drops* “Heh… Great…”


Episode eight: Forever and a Day


(the next day. it’s the afternoon. lark, Noelle, Sacha, sephiroth and the rest of his choo choo train (*snort*) as well as rufus and his clique (algus, edgar and setzer, of course) are sitting around in the ramble room.)

Noelle: “I’m so excited!! Only one more day until the wedding!”

Sacha: “And Cid agreed to go with me!”

Lark: “Oh. What did he say when you asked him?”

Sacha: “$%@#%^@%@^$%%@^#%$.”

Lark: “Aw… That’s so nice.”

Algus: “So, Miss Lark, how was the bachelor party you attended last evening?”

Lark: *grins* “Hehe. Lots of fun.”

Noelle: “That stripper was really hot.”

Setzer: “Oh yeah.”

Edgar: *nudges him*

Setzer: “Er…oh yeah, my…uh…stock went up! Whoo hoo!”

Rufus: “Congratulations! Which one was it?”

Setzer: “Um….the one with the company…”

Vincent: “Is it true that Zell got the stripper’s phone number?”

Sephiroth: *gasp* “Vincent! Are you gossiping behind my back?!”

Vincent: “It’s not *about* you, angel.”

Sephiroth: “I meant you knew gossip and you didn’t tell me?!”

Sacha: “I heard he gave it to Edgar.”

Everyone: *looks at edgar*

Setzer: “What’s *this*?”

Edgar: “Um…yes, he…offered it, but I didn’t take it. Of course.” *smiles at setzer*

Setzer: *glares* “Yeah, you better not have.”

Everyone: *blink blink*

Setzer: “…Because you’re straight.” *sweat drop*

Lark: “Well, it was a lot of fun.”

Sephiroth: “And Tseng didn’t get drunk.”

Noelle: “Zidane did.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah, well he’s trashy.”

Sacha: “And then he went ranting and raving on and on about how much he hates that Algus guy.”

Algus: “*I* am Algus.”

Sacha: *blink blink* “Oh… Right… Sorry… Eh heh. I’ve never played Tactics.”

Algus: “I knew I shouldn’t have let him go! I’m docking all his pay Skittles this week.”

Sacha: “…You pay him in Skittles?”

Algus: “This month, yes.”

Sacha: “Isn’t that illegal?”

Algus: “My lawyers don’t seem to think so.”

Sacha: “Oh dear.”

Lark: “So, Rufus, what did Reeve do last night?”

Rufus: *shrug* “Reno and Irvine took him out. But Mr. Jingles and I watched his favorite movie last night, the Care Bears! And when Mr. Jingles and I went to sleep Reeve still wasn’t back, and when Mr. Jingles and I woke up this morning, he was kind of passed out in the doorway and I had to step over him. It was very inconvenient.”

Everyone: *blink blink*

Lark: “Irvine and *Reno* took him out?”

Noelle: “I told Reno to leave him alone, but he just couldn’t resist, could he?!”

Lark: “He was *passed out*!? Rufus, why didn’t you say this before?”

Rufus: *shrugs* “Subject didn’t come up till now.”

Noelle: “It’s 4 o’clock! The rehearsal dinner is in two hours!!”

Lark: “We better check on him!”

Rufus: “Check on Mr. Jingles while you’re at it too. Make sure his hat’s still on straight.”

Sephiroth: “Are you sure you’re *head’s* still on straight?”

Rufus: “Huh?”


(so Noelle, Sacha and lark go running to rufus’ room. reeve’s still passed out on the floor)

Sacha: *gasps* “What if he’s dead!?”

Lark and Noelle: *glare at Sacha*

Sacha: “…Sorry. But he looks kinda…dead.”

Noelle: “He’s still breathing. I’m gonna *kill* Reno! I’m gonna kill him good!”

Lark: *shakes reeve* “Reeve!! Reeve, wake up! You have to get ready to go to the rehearsal dinner!”

(thankfully, reeve wakes up slowly, looking bleary eyed.)

Reeve: “Ughh… What day is it?”

Noelle: “Um…just the day before your wedding! You know, with the bridal party and the flowers and the cake and the taffeta and so on and so forth and—OMG I SOUND LIKE HOJO!”

Sacha: *pats her on the shoulder* “Calm down.”

Lark: “Reeve, it’s 4 o’clock. In two hours we have to go to the hotel to practice the ceremony.”

Reeve: “Oh…right.” *he tries to get up but puts a hand to his head* “Ow… Oh god.” *falls back down*

Lark: “What happened last night?”

Reeve: “Irvine and Reno… Took me to a strip club… They kept on buying me drinks, and wouldn’t let me refuse, so…I had to drink them all. Do those two *ever* get drunk?!”

Noelle: “A strip club?!!? That boy is *so* dead!”

Reeve: “I am…totally hung over.”

Lark: “You’ll be okay. We’ll just get you something to make the headache stop.” *helps him sit up*

Reeve: *winces* “I think I sat on my glasses.”

Lark: “Everything will be fine. Now get up and get dressed and we’ll get you some painkillers.”

(the girls get up and leave.)

Noelle: “I’m killin’ Reno! I’m gonna kill him! How should I kill him? Any suggestions?”

Lark: “Worry about that later. Right now, we have to make sure that everything goes smoothly for the rehearsal.”

Sacha: “He looks pretty hung over. Maybe we should skip it.”

Noelle: “We can’t skip it! I paid a lot of money to have this catered!”

Lark: “…You paid?” *raises eyebrow*

Noelle: “Okay, so Rufus paid. I spent the time looking over the menu!”

Lark: “Everything will be fine. Let’s go get ready for it ourselves.”

Sacha: “Five bucks says everything’s not fine.”

Lark and Noelle: *frown*

Sacha: “…What? You really think everything’s gonna be okay? Don’t you read your own rambles?”


(later…everyone in the bridal party, plus Sacha, who won’t go away (heh, luv ya) is in the beautifully decorated room which will serve as the makeshift chapel for the ceremony. reeve still looks like he’s dragging his feet. reno is keeping him from falling over)

Reno: “Man… You really can’t hold your liquor, can ya.”

Reeve: “I don’t *drink* 24/7 like you and Irvine!”

Reno: “Oh. Right. Kinda forgot about that.”

Tseng: “Reeve!!” *runs over and kisses him* “I missed you!”

Reeve: “Missed you too, baby.”

Tseng: *frowns* “What’s wrong with you?”

Reno: *holds up hands defensively* “Don’t look at me, boss.”

Tseng: “Too bad, Reno.” *frowns* “Did you get him drunk?”

Reno: “It was a bachelor party.”

Tseng: “Oh, god! Did you take him to a strip club?!”

Reno: “Um… Some stripping might have been involved.”

Tseng: “I don’t wanna know.”

Reeve: “I’m just a little hungover.”

Tseng: “Only a little?”

Reeve: “Okay…maybe…a lot.”

Tseng: *glares at reno*

Reno: “Heh heh… I shoulda just had a bachelor party in his honor maybe.”

Noelle: “Okay! Everyone, get ready!” *turns to vivi* “Vivi, you’re not only going to be the ring bearer, but my personal assistant! So stay right by me, okay?”

Vivi: “Okay, Noelle.”

Noelle: “Hehe! He’s so cute! Isn’t he cute, Sacha?”

Sacha: “I love Vivi!”

Lark: “Everyone loves Vivi!”

Rufus: “Okay… Shut up about Vivi already.”

Sephiroth: “Hey, everyone! Look at me!!! I’m free!!! No Vincent and no Auroran!”

Reno: “Isn’t it Auron?”

Sephiroth: “Who cares. I’m free!”

Lark: “Okay, Seph, we’re all happy for you. Now, everyone, get with your partner and I’ll be right back.”

(Noelle goes with reno. shell with rude, kuja with bryatt, elena with rufus, Katie with ben, Ashley with darren and lizzie with rory)

Bryatt: “Even in the wedding party I get a man on my arm.”

Kuja: “And the prettiest damn man in the room.”

Tseng: “Does anyone have any idea who’s doing the ceremony?”

Sephiroth: “If it’s Heidegger, I’m jumping out the window.”

(but it’s not heidegger. it’s…dun dun dun! treize and zechs!!)

Treize and Zechs: “Hello, everyone!”

Tseng: “Oh…my…god.” *nudges reeve*

Reeve: “Ow…” *rubs arm*

Zechs: “Treize and I are so happy you two are getting married! You can be just like us!”

Tseng: “Heh… Great.”

Treize: “It is a wondrous occasion. Now Zechs and I won’t be the only same sex married couple.”

Reeve: “…You two are married?”

Zechs: “Why, of course!”

Reeve: “…Why has this never been mentioned before?”

Zechs: *shrugs* “No one asked.”

Tseng: “Why does everyone overlook the fact that technically Reeve and I are *already* married?”

Treize: “Vegas doesn’t count.”

Zechs: “We got qualified to marry people on the internet just for you two!”

Treize: “We wrote down everything we’re going to say.” *takes out a paper that’s so long it falls to the floor*

Tseng: “Heh…” *sweat drop* “Great.”

Noelle: “Okay, let’s get started! Places! Vivi, honey, don’t trip!”

Vivi: “O-okay, Noelle.”

(and so things start with vivi coming down the aisle. he doesn’t trip. then come all the bridesmaids and ushers in the order i said before. then lark and seph come down. finally, reeve and tseng emerge from two separate doors on either side of the main doors and walk down the aisle together. then tseng goes and stands on the same side as the ushers and reeve goes and stands on the same side as the girls. (yes, tseng’s the uke, but the ushers are all *his* friends!) anyway, reeve still looks a little woozy on his feet.)

Zechs: “Ah…memories.”

Treize: “Anyway, you’ll be pleased to know that Zechs and I are saving the majority of what we’re going to say for the actual wedding.”

Almost everyone: *sigh of relief*

Zechs: “We’ll make some opening remarks, say the traditional wedding stuff, and then have the rings brought over for the vows.”

Treize: “Perhaps you want to practice those.”

Zechs: “You wrote your own just like Treize and I…” *stares dreamily at treize*

Treize: “I love you, Zechs.”

Zechs: “I love you, Treize.”

Tseng: *turns to seph* “Please tell me Reeve and I aren’t like that.”

Sephiroth: “No. But if you start I promise to kill you.”

Treize: “So, go ahead. Which of you will be going first?”

Reeve: “Me.” *puts a hand to his head* “Okay, let’s see…” *squints* “Tseng…” *turns to tseng* “Uh…” *puts a hand to his head*

Tseng: “I thought we were supposed to have these memorized.”

Reeve: “I do! I do!” *thinks* “Uh… Tseng… I really love screwing you. I mean doing you! Oh no! I meant being with you!”

Kuja: *mutters* “Sure you did.”

Tseng: “Reeve!”

Reeve: “I’m too hungover to remember!”

Tseng: *glares at reno*

Reno: “Heh… We’re still buddies, right, Tseng ol’ pal?”

Rufus: “Can we skip this? I think we know how to walk back and forth. The expensive meal I’m paying for is sitting out there getting cold.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah. It’ll be nice to have a meal where Vincent isn’t around asking if I need help cutting my meat.”

Lark: “Sephiroth, Vincent doesn’t do that.”

Sephiroth: “Don’t call me a liar, woman!”

Reno: “Is there booze?”

Noelle: “No!”

(so everyone leaves, except for reeve and tseng, who remain behind, looking at each other)

Reeve: “I’m sorry for screwing up. I didn’t mean what I said. Well, I did, but that’s not what I’m gonna say tomorrow. That’s not important! That’s not why I’m marrying you! I’m sorry! I won’t do it tomorrow.”

Tseng: “I know. It’s okay. Relax.”

(they embrace)

Reeve: *rests his head on tseng’s shoulder* “Tomorrow is the anniversary of the first day I ever told you I loved you.”

Tseng: “Mm. Same here. And it’ll also be a year since the first time we…”

Reeve: *smiles and looks up again to rest his forehead against tseng’s* “You’re incredible, you know that? And tomorrow we’ll belong only to each other forever.”

Tseng: “Why does everyone keep saying Vegas doesn’t count? I know we kind of got married fast there, but it worked out, didn’t it?”

Reeve: “Forget them.” *kisses him*

Tseng: *happy sigh* “I always knew you were for me, Reeve. I just never thought you’d ever be mine.”

Reeve: *smiles* “It just took me awhile to come to my senses. I’m so lucky you waited.”

Tseng: “I would have waited forever.”

Reeve: “And now you get me forever.”

Tseng: *smiles* “Lucky, lucky me.”

(they kiss again, longingly. then rufus comes in looking annoyed)

Rufus: “Hey hey! Break it up you two! Not only are you making me blind, but you’ll have plenty of time for that that tomorrow! When I’m *not* around! Now come and eat before everything’s gone.” *he leaves*

Reeve: “One more day…”

Tseng: *smiles* “I can’t wait.”

(they kiss one more time, then walk hand and hand to join the others.)


Episode eight: And Happily Ever After

(ah…feb. 14th. wedding day!! tseng wakes up and stares up at the ceiling for a moment. then he grins)

Tseng: “I’m getting married today!”

(he gets up, runs out of his room and over to bryatt’s where he knocks on the door excitedly. bryatt comes to the door a minute later, rubbing his eyes sleepily)

Tseng: “Bryatt! Guess what?!”

Bryatt: “It’s insanely early?”

Tseng: “I’m getting married today!!!” *hugs bryatt*

Bryatt: “Should we jump up and down like excited girls?”

Tseng: “I’m seriously about to! I’m so happy! Bryatt, do you realize this is the best day of my life?”

Bryatt: *smiles* “Must be nice to know that without anything even happening yet.”

Tseng: “Everything could go wrong today, but as long as I marry Reeve, I don’t care. It’ll be the best day as long as he’s mine at the end of it.”

Rory: *groggily from the bed* “I’d say that was sweet if I didn’t want to kill you for waking me up.”

Bryatt: “Aw, come on, Rory. If you get up now, I’ll let you sing a Broadway showtune that mentions weddings, like “I’m Getting Married In the Morning” from My Fair Lady, or “Let’s Have An Old Fashioned Wedding” from Annie Get Your Gun.”

Rory: *burying further under the covers* “It’s “*We’ll* Have An Old Fashioned Wedding”. And I’ll shockingly pass.”

Bryatt: *winks at tseng* “Maybe we should throw the rice at him.”


(flash forward to the church. we start in the middle, where Noelle is getting stuff in place.)

Noelle: “Do all the girls have their flowers?”

Lark: “Everything’s fine. And look, our flower girl is here!”

Noelle: “Thanks for filling in, Serenity.”

Serenity: “No problem. Tseng and Reeve are so cute together.”

Noelle: “Where’s Vivi?”

Vivi: *behind Noelle* “Right here, Noelle.”

Noelle: *whirls around* “Oh! There you are! You’re so tiny, I could have stepped on you.”

Vivi: “Heh…” *sweat drop*

Noelle: “You walk down the aisle with Serenity, okay? And what are you *not* to do?”

Vivi: “Trip.”

Noelle: “Right. That and don’t drop the rings.”

Serenity: “Hi, Vivi.”

Vivi: “Um, h-hi.”

Serenity: *indicates the pillow he’s holding* “Are those the rings? They’re really pretty.”

Vivi: “Yeah. They’re platinum, and inside they’re inscribed with the date and ‘Reeve+Tseng Forever’

Serenity: “Aw… That’s so cute.”

(meanwhile, on reeve’s side…he’s in front of the mirror, straightening out his tux and looking a bit nervous. there’s a knock at the door.)

Reeve: “Uh…come in.”

(it’s lark, rufus and reno.)

Lark: “Hey there! You look so handsome!”

Reeve: “Thanks, Lark.”

Reno: “Nervous, buddy?”

Reeve: “A little… I hope I don’t screw up the vows again.”

Rufus: “Well, at least you’re not hungover anymore.”

Reno: “Heh… Yeah… That helps.”

Reeve: “Have you guys seen Tseng?”

Lark: “No, but I know he’s fine, honey. We came to bring you your stuff.”

Reeve: “What stuff?”

Lark: “Well, you know that stupid tradition of the bride having something new, something old, something borrowed and something blue? Well, we thought it would be cool to have one of you have two of those things, and the other have two. So, we have something new for you, and something blue.”

Rufus: *reaching into his pocket* “Here’s the new thing. Reno and I pitched in.”

Reno: “And not because Rufus just didn’t want to pay the whole thing.”

(rufus hands reeve a small box. reeve opens it and finds platinum cuff links)

Reeve: *gasps* “Holy crap…” *blink* “These must have been a fortune!”

Rufus: *shrugs* “It’s your wedding day.”

Reeve: “Yeah, but you already paid for like everything–“

Rufus: “Just put it on and shut up.”

Reeve: *he does* “Heh… Thanks a lot you guys. Really.”

Reno: “You’re welcome, buddy! Hope that makes up for getting you so drunk.”

Reeve: “Don’t worry about it.”

Lark: “And this is from me.” *she pins a blue flower to his tux* “It didn’t cost a fortune, I’ll admit, but at least it’s the right color.”

Reeve: “And my favorite too. Thanks, Lark.” *kisses her on the cheek*

Lark: “You’re more than welcome, Reeve.” *pats him on the shoulder* “You two are perfect for each other.”

Reeve: “I know.”


(meanwhile, on tseng’s side. he’s fixing his hair in front of the mirror, looking less nervous than reeve. there’s a knock on his door.)

Tseng: “Come in!”

(in comes kuja, sephiroth and bryatt.)

Bryatt: “Oh, honey, you look gorgeous.”

Tseng: *smiles* “Thanks.”

Kuja: “Almost as pretty as me.” *twirls in his dress* “What do you think?”

Tseng: “You look great, Kuja.”

Kuja: “As I always do. I make this dress look the best, of course.” *goes and stands in front of the mirror*

Sephiroth: “Anyway, Tseng. It was Lark’s idea that we give you half that ‘something old, something new’ whatever crap.”

Tseng: “Oh really? Good idea.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah, she thought so. Anyway… Ah…. Here. You can put it in your pocket.” *he thrusts something in tseng’s hand*

(tseng opens his hand and stares down at the faded and worn gold ring in his hand. he looks up in shock)

Tseng: “Oh, Sephiroth… Is this the ring that Vincent–“

Sephiroth: “Yes. Just put it in your pocket. And don’t lose it.”

Tseng: “Wow, Sephiroth. It really means a lot to me that you think enough of me to entrust this in my care at all.”

Sephiroth: *looks embarrassed* “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just take it already.”

Tseng: *tucks it safely in his pocket* “Thank you.”

Bryatt: “Uh… Kuja?”

Kuja: *fluffing out his hair* “Huh?”

Bryatt: “How about that something borrowed?”

Kuja: “Oh, right.” *turns to tseng* “Remember. This is *borrowed*. I want it back in the same condition.” *hands tseng a diamond bracelet*

Tseng: “Oh… Wow…”

Kuja: “Yeah, I know. You can thank me when you give it back. It’s my second favorite one. I got after I–“

Sephiroth: “No one wants to know.”

Tseng: “Thanks, Kuja. I’ll be careful with it.”

Kuja: *smiles* “I know you will.”

Noelle: *sticks her head in* “Five minutes! Let’s get ready, people!”

Sephiroth: “Well… I guess it’s time.” *he leans over and quickly kisses tseng on the cheek* “I’m happy for you.”

Kuja: *kisses tseng on the lips* “Me too. I’m also happy for me. I look so pretty today.”

Tseng: *chuckles* “Thanks, you guys.”

(seph and kuja leave. bryatt hangs around a minute. he gives tseng a kiss on the lips too.)

Bryatt: “I am so happy for you, Tseng. You deserve every happiness in the world. I love you.”

Tseng: “Thanks, Bryatt. I love you too.”

Bryatt: “I’d say promise me not to cry while reading your vows, but I know that won’t happen.”

Tseng: *laughs* “You bet it won’t!”


(out in the wedding area…both sides of the aisle have every chair filled. treize and zechs wait at the head as the music starts to play. the pairs come out, one at a time, just as was practiced. nothing goes wrong. as lark and sephiroth take their places on their respective sides of the aisle, the doors in the back open, and reeve and tseng step out, and turn to walk towards each other, smiling. they meet in the aisle and join hands.)

Reeve: “You look beautiful.”

Tseng: *already has tears in his eyes* “You too.”

(they walk down the aisle to the front. when they get there, they turn and face one another again, hands joined.)

Zechs: “Dearly beloved…we have gathered here today to join Reeve and Tseng in marriage.”

Treize: “Marriage is a beautiful commitment built on love, and it does not matter whether the couple being joined are two men, two women or a woman and a man. Love is love. And love is everywhere. Why, even in war there is love–” *gets nudged by zechs* “Ahem, yes. Anyway, Reeve, would you read the vows you have written for Tseng?”

Reeve: *swallows nervously and speaks with a bit of a waver* “Tseng. In no language of the world are there words to tell you just how much I love you. Even every stretch of the imagination cannot comprehend just how much you mean to me. You’re my friend, my soulmate, and my life. You’ve given me so much, and I could never ask for more. With you, I have everything I’ve ever wanted. You make my life complete. I desire nothing more than to never be apart from you, and to give you all the love and happiness you have brought me, forever and ever.” *looks like he’s gonna cry*

Tseng: *is crying* “Oh, Reeve…” *squeezes his hands*

Zechs: “Tseng, your vows for Reeve?”

Tseng: *still crying* “Oh, Reeve. With you it was love at first sight. As soon as I laid eyes on you, even though I was so young, I knew you were for me. And even though a lot of time has passed, nothing has changed. I love you more than I ever have. The idea of life without you is too empty to even imagine. You’re perfect. I always want to be there for you, to love you, and give you everything and more than you’ve given me, now and for the rest of my life.”

Reeve: *finally crying* “Oh, honey that was beautiful.”

Treize: “May we have the rings please?”

(vivi comes over with the rings and doesn’t trip. he stands between treize and zechs, the pillow held out. zechs picks up the first ring and hands it to reeve)

Zechs: “Place it on his finger and repeat after me: with this ring, I thee wed.”

Reeve: *puts the ring on tseng’s trembling finger* “With this ring, I thee wed.”

(treize picks up the next one and gives it to tseng)

Treize: “Place it on his finger and repeat after me: with this ring, I thee wed.”

Tseng: *puts the ring on reeve’s trembling finger* “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Zechs: “Now, if there are no objections…”

Treize: “We now pronounce you married and committed to one another, till death do you part.”

Treize and Zechs: *grin* “You may now kiss the groom.”

(tseng and reeve laugh a little before leaning in to kiss. everyone in the room cheers. the newly married couple then joins hands and heads back down the aisle, the bridal party following)

Lark: *arm in arm with seph* “Sephy…are you crying?”

Sephiroth: *wiping frantically at his eyes* “No. Quiet, woman.”


(later, at the reception…(immediately following) everyone has just gotten in and sat down when reno taps on his glass and stands up, rising his glass)

Reno: “I thought I might start this off with a toast. Reeve… Tseng. You’re both two awesome guys. I wanna wish you two lots of luck and happiness, even though I know you won’t need it. Trust me, if you can put up with Rufus being a jerk about you two being together, you can put up with anything.”

Everyone but Rufus: *laughs*

Rufus: “Hey…” *pouts*

Reno: “Speakin’ of Rufus, he wants to say somethin’ too.” *kicks rufus*

Rufus: “Ow!!” *stands and glares at reno* “Um…yeah. Well, I wish them both happiness too, and uh, well, I don’t think them showing affection for one another is that gross. Notice I said *that* gross. Anyway, best of luck to both of my friends.” *downs his cup and sits*

Reno: “How about a word from the best man?”

Sephiroth: *sighs and stands up* “Very well.”

Yaoi fans: “Whoo hoo! Go Sephiroth!!”

Sephiroth: *sweat drop* “…Yeah. Anyway, I’ve known Tseng and Reeve for a long time. I was also the first person who knew Tseng was in love with Reeve. I don’t think I have to explain to most of you here how annoying it was to see them pretending they weren’t in love with one another. Now that it’s finally way out in the open, I can sit back and relax. I really am happy for the both of them, and wish them luck, and every happiness. But, as Reno said, they won’t need it. They deserve it.” *he sits*

Lark: *whispers to him* “That was actually sweet, Sephy-sama.”

Sephiroth: “Quiet, woman.”

Noelle: “All right, everyone, it’s time for Reeve and Tseng’s first dance as a married couple!”

(everyone claps, and reeve and tseng look slightly embarrassed as they go out and embrace on the dance floor. “unchained melody” starts to play.)

Tseng: *resting his head on reeve’s shoulder* “Do I really have to tell you how happy I am right now?”

Reeve: “You can’t possibly be any happier than I am.”

Tseng: “I barely slept at all last night without you. How about you?”

Reeve: “You kidding? On Rufus’ floor? Without you? I’m lucky I’m at all lucid.”

Tseng: *chuckles* “Well, you won’t have to worry about that anymore.” *pause* “…Anything else on your mind?”

Reeve: *blushing* “I wouldn’t mind consummating our marriage anytime soon either.”

Tseng: “Good. Me neither. When no one’s looking we’ll sneak out.”

Reeve: “Yeah, but do you have–“

Tseng: “Yes.”

Reeve: “I *love* you.”


(sometime later…Noelle and Ashley go over to the gw guys…)

Ashley: “So how are you guys liking the wedding?”

Trowa: “What wedding?”

Heero: *smacks him*

Trowa: “Oh. Very nice.”

Wufei: “Weddings are weak!”

Duo: “You sobbed hysterically at the vows!”

Wufei: “Shut up, weakling! Wufei does not cry!”

Quarte: “I think the wedding is beautiful, Noelle. Just beautiful. The flowers are beautiful, the cake is beautiful, the tuxedos are beautiful, the floor is beautiful, the dishes are beautiful, the chandeliers are beautiful, the tablecloths are beautiful, the chairs are beautiful, the guests are beautiful, the rings are beautiful, the music is beautiful!”

Ashley: “…Noelle…why did you let him finish?”

Noelle: *turning red* “HE DIDN’T SAY THE TAFFETA IS BEAUTIFUL!!”

Quatre: “Meep!”

(meanwhile, reeve and tseng are standing off, observing)

Reeve: *whispers* “Now seems like a good time to make our brief exit.”

Tseng: “It better not be *that* brief.”

Reeve: “Let’s go.”

(they start to move slowly towards the door, but bryatt, rory, darren and ben come and cut them off)

Bryatt: “Hey, you two! Where do you think *you’re* going?”

Reeve: “Um… Just to stroll around in the lobby.”

Tseng: “It’s such a nice lobby.”

Ben: “Uh huh. Sure.”

Bryatt: “A tumble in the limo is more like it.”

Rory: “You’re not going anywhere.”

Darren: “We’re watching you.”

Tseng: “Great. Thanks a lot.”

Bryatt: “Hey, there’ll be plenty of time for that later. Besides, I really think you should thank Rufus for this beautiful wedding he paid for.”

Tseng: *sigh* “I guess you’re right.”

(they turn around to go back and almost bump right into hojo)

Tseng: “Ack!”

Reeve: “What are you doing here?”

Hojo: “I crashed! You didn’t think Kuja would come without me, did you?”

Tseng: “Well, considering he doesn’t really like you…”

Hojo: “Why wasn’t I invited?”

Tseng: “Why weren’t you invited?!?! Because you raped me!”

Reeve and Bryatt: “Twice!”

Hojo: “…Oh. So you do still remember that.”

Tseng: “Look, just pretend like you’re not here, and I won’t call the cops.”

Hojo: “Very well. I do think you’ll enjoy your present though!” *he goes away*

Reeve: “We are *not* opening his present.”

Tseng: “No way in hell.”

(they go over to rufus, who’s sitting with algus, edgar and setzer, yapping away)

Rufus: “So then I said, ‘I don’t think so, buddy! Your bear may have button eyes, but Mr. Jingles is stuffed with wool’!”

Reeve: “Uh… Rufus?”

Rufus: “What is it? I’m entertaining everyone.”

Edgar and Setzer: *shake heads no frantically*

Algus: *is half asleep*

Reeve: “Uh, Tseng and I just wanted to thank you.”

Rufus: “Is it about your Christmas bonuses? The government made me do that.” *narrows eyes* “I’ll get them.”

Tseng: “No, Rufus. About the wedding. Thanks for paying for it. It’s beautiful. We owe you one.”

Rufus: “Oh. That. It was nothing. Really. You don’t owe me anything.” *shrugs*

Setzer: “…Are you feeling okay, Rufus?”

Rufus: “I’m fine! And I mean it! Now where was I?”

(reeve and tseng smile at each other and go to dance again. on the dance floor, Noelle is dancing with vivi.)

Noelle: “Having, fun, Vivi?”

Vivi: “Yup! Um…Noelle? I have a question.”

Noelle: “What?”

Vivi: “What’s this lining on the inside of my suit jacket? It’s really nice.”

Noelle: “Why it’s taffeta, my little mage friend! Wonderful, wonderful taffeta!”

Vivi: “Um…okay.”

(meanwhile, scarlet and nida are at their table, looking miserable. she’s smoking)

Nida: “You see, the difference between their wedding and ours, is that they’re both happy. And only I was happy at ours.”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Misery!”

Stinky: *snorts and eats crackers*

Seymour: “That stupid Kuja thinks he’s so great going on and on about how great he looks in his dress. Mine is so much better.” *indicates the orange, pink and brown polka dot dress he’s wearing*

Nida: “Are you kidding? You nearly blinded me with that thing!”

Scarlet: “And so the tradition continues.”

Nida: “What tradition?”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! She’s never been to a wedding where she hasn’t slept with the groom!”

Nida: “Ew, you skank!!” *blink blink* “But there are two grooms. Which one did you sleep with?”

Scarlet: “The uglier one. But don’t think I didn’t try to get ’em both.”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Office whore!”


Shell: “Hey, Lark! Do you like my diamond necklace?”

Lark: “Wow, Shell. Did Rude get that for you?”

Shell: “Duh, Lark. Of course he did! And he got me another outfit for the wedding too!”

Rude: “You didn’t tell me you were a bridesmaid, Shell.”

Shell: “It slipped my mind, Rude. Besides, I’ll wear it the next time there’s a wedding.”

Rude: “No you won’t. You’ll make me buy you a new outfit.”

Shell: “…All right, you got me there, Rude. But don’t worry. I won’t let Chanel go to waste!”

(Sacha is with cid, barret and red.)

Cid: “$%$@#^#$%^$&%#^#@!”

Sacha: “No! That’s obviously not right! Does Red have any humps like a camel?”

Barret: “Yo! Maybe they be in his head where we can’t see ’em, yo!”

Red: “I have no humps in my head.”

Sacha: “Camels don’t have their humps in their heads.” *sigh* “Haven’t you guys ever seen *any* animals before?”

Barret: “Yo, we been to da zoo!”

Red: “And I’ve been to hell.”

Sacha: *sigh* “Okay. Have you guys considered that maybe he’s something that hasn’t been discovered yet?”

Barret: “Yo! You be crazy, woman! How he bee somethin’ not discovered? We discovered him long ago!”

Cid: “#$^%#^%$&^#%&#%&!”

Sacha: “Hey. You watch that mouth, Cid.”

(meanwhile…seph, vin and auron…)

Auron: “What a beautiful wedding.”

Vincent: “It is. Don’t you think so, angel?”

Sephiroth: “Uh huh.”

Vincent: “Oh, and angel, per your request, I got you nothing for Valentine’s day.”

Sephiroth: “Good.” *he drums his fingers on the table*

Vincent: *gasp* “Angel!”

Sephiroth: “What, Vin?”

Vincent: “You haven’t worn this in years!” *he takes sephs hand and stares at it. seph is wearing the ring he gave tseng before*

Sephiroth: “Oh. I…gave it to Tseng before to keep during the ceremony. When he gave it back, I just shoved it on my finger…”

Vincent: *looks up with happy tears in his eyes*

Sephiroth: *smiling slowly* “…Right where it belongs. Happy Valentine’s day, my favorite Valentine.”

Vincent: “Oh, angel!” *grabs seph and hugs him*

Auron: “Looks like everything will end happily after all.”

Sephiroth: “Shut up, Auroran.”

Auron: “…I give up.”


(a long time passes, and the end of the night is near. lark goes over to reeve and tseng)

Lark: “Hey, guys.”

Reeve and Tseng: “Hey, Lark.”

Lark: “I noticed you guys have actually been around all night.”

Reeve: “Yeah… Not really our choice.”

Lark: “Hehe, I figured. So where you off to on your second Honeymoon?”

Tseng: “Actually, we don’t know yet.”

Lark: “What, are you gonna go to the airport and pick at random?”

Tseng: “No… We’re actually gonna wait until after the site anniversary. Don’t wanna miss that.”

Reeve: “Nope.”

Lark: “Aw! That’s so nice of you to put that off for this stupid site! Thanks, you guys!” *hugs them both*

Reeve: “Well, you’ve always been a good friend to us, Lark.”

Tseng: “Right. And we wanted to be around with you to celebrate the anniversary.”

Lark: “That’s so nice of you, guys. I’m so glad to have you two as my friends. Thanks. Thanks a whole hell of a lot!”


(later…the wedding is over. reeve and tseng, hand in hand, are coming up the outside path to the ramble room.)

Tseng: “I can’t believe it’s over.”

Reeve: “Me neither. It was great. Nothing went wrong.”

Tseng: “Not a thing!”

(he goes to take another step, but reeve stops where he is.)

Tseng: “What is it?”

Reeve: “I want to show you something.”

(he takes tseng over to the only tree in the ramble yard.)

Reeve: “I know it’s corny, but I couldn’t help myself. I just did it as a reminder… So everyone would always know.”

(he points to the tree trunk, and even in the darkness it’s easy to see that he has carved Reeve (heart) Tseng 4ever.)

Tseng: “Reeve! Not only is it corny, but it’s so juvenile!” *hugs him* “I love it. And you.”

Reeve: “I love you too.” *they kiss*

Tseng: “Mmmm…” *breaks away with a smile* “How about we go inside and get our wedding night started?”

Reeve: *grins* “I’m more than ready and more than willing.”

(and so they go to the door to their room. they’re both surprised to find a letter taped to it.)

Tseng: “What’s this?” *pulls it off* “Omg, it’s from Bria.”

Reeve: *reading it* “Dear Reeve and Tseng. I hope your wedding went perfectly. Sorry I couldn’t be there, but I’m on the search for Zack again, plus I bet Tseng didn’t want me there anyway. I just wanted to apologize again, even if it makes no difference. You two belong together. It was stupid and selfish of me to think I could break you two up. I wish you both all the happiness in the world. Maybe we’ll meet again someday. Lots of love, Bria.”

Tseng: “That was nice of her.”

Reeve: “It was.” *sigh* “It feels so odd to have that chapter of my life closed for good. Odd, but really good.”

Tseng: “And I’m glad we won’t be needing the closet across the hall anymore.” *grin*

(suddenly, there’s a bang heard from the closet. they look over in surprise)

??????: *from the closet* “Ow, Eddie! Watch it! I banged my head!”

?????: *from the closet* “Sorry, Darling. But it’s cramped in here.”

??????: *from the closet* “All right, don’t stop. Just kiss me.”

Reeve: *gapes* “Omg…they are gay.”

Tseng: “I told you. It looks like the positions’ been filled. …In more ways than one.”

Reeve: “And as for us… Well, it’s time to step over the threshold and start forever together, right, my beautiful husband?” *takes his hand*

Tseng: “Well said, husband of mine. Now let’s go inside before I make you take me right here in the hall.”

Reeve: “Heh, you wouldn’t have to make me.”

(hands joined, they open the door and go inside, shutting the door closed behind them.)

                                              THE END

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