#71 – Sleepover Girls

Irvine: “This is it, boys. Whoever wins will be a king among kings, and whoever loses will be taunted until my throat is sore!”

Originally Published: 1/26/01 . 23 pages

The guys decide to spy on the girls’ sleepover, but little do they know the girls’ are on to them! They make up stuff to get back at them, but then Lark lets something slip that Sephiroth told her in confidence. Can she repair the damage?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

As the original beginning note stated, the whole premise is loosely based on an episode of “Saved by the Bell”. There’s a lot of silliness here, but there are some gems buried in this one. And Sephiroth is surprisingly sweet to Vincent at the end too. I think Vincent definitely gained more of a backbone as the rambles went on. He’s pretty fragile in this one.

(in the ramble room we have lark, who is on the couch, flipping through an issue of Dictator Weekly)

Lark: *muttering to herself as she flips idly through* “Sephiroth Land, Sephiroth Land, buy cheap merchandise, yes you can…”

(sephiroth wanders in, wringing his hands and looking a bit unsure of himself. he looks at lark, but she doesn’t notice that he’s there.)

Sephiroth: “Uh….Lark?”

Lark: *looks up* “Oh, hi, Seph. I didn’t see you standing there.”

Sephiroth: “…Can I talk to you?”

Lark: *puts down magazine and stands* “Sure, sweetie. Is something wrong?”

Sephiroth: “…..I’m not sure. It’s about Vincent.”

Lark: “Vincent? What’s the matter?”

Sephiroth: “I….I….I’m getting a little sick of him.”

Lark: *shocked* “What?? But Sephiroth, you love Vincent.”

Sephiroth: “……..I……well….he’s getting a little annoying.”

Lark: “He can’t be annoying. He’s Vincent.”

Sephiroth: “He’s annoying to me. Always following me around with ‘angel’ this and ‘my angel’ that. You know, at first I just pretended to mind, but now I really do mind.”

Lark: “You didn’t mind when I called you angel. You *asked* me to call you that.”

Sephiroth: “……..That’s different.”

Lark: “Don’t tell me you’re trying to say you don’t like Vincent anymore…”

Sephiroth: “No, I’m not saying that at all… I’m just… Well, right now I’m trying to avoid him, so if you see him around and he asks you about me, you haven’t seen me, all right?”

Lark: *sighs* “I’ll do it, but I won’t like it.”

Sephiroth: “And don’t tell anyone about this, all right, Lark? ”

Lark: “Of course not, Sephiroth. You can trust me.”


(towards evening there are a bunch of guys just standing the hallway, hanging out)

Seifer: “Irvine, tell your damn family to stop calling! If I pick up the phone and hear ‘yee haw’ one more time I’m gonna go out and rope myself a certain cowboy!”

Irvine: “You’re just jealous cause my brothers are better men.”

Seifer: “How am I supposed to compete with a guy who was *brought up* to be lady killer!?”

Irvine: “Sucks to be you then, don’t it.”

Reno: “I feel like such a loser. Why are we standing in the hallway?”

Rufus: “The porch swing was taken.”

Tseng: *pouting* “Yeah. I wanted to sit on it.”

Reeve: “Me too.”

Seifer: “Hey, chicken-wuss, your epidermis is showing.”

Zell: “Of course my skin is showing, Seifer! Don’t try to play games with me!”

Laguna: *runs up with jake* “Hey hey! What’s hanging, fellas? Look who stopped by!”

Jake: “Heya.”

Irvine: “Evenin’.” *tips hat*

Jake: “You guys don’t look like you’re up to much.”

Reno: “We’re not.”

(then sephiroth approaches, looking throughly annoyed, followed by vincent)

Vincent: “I have been looking for you all day, my angel. Where have you been?”

Sephiroth: “Do you have to know where I am every damn second, Vincent?! Can’t you leave me alone for five minutes?!”

Vincent: *blinks* “Is something wrong, my angel?”

Sephiroth: *pouting* “No. Forget it. And STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Everyone: “……………………..”

Sephiroth: “Don’t stop talking just because I started yelling.”

Rude: “Hm. Here come the girls.”

(the girls come up, all dressed in pajamas and are carrying pillows and blankets. if you haven’t seen the picture Ashley drew on the ramble pics page, i’ll describe what everyone’s wearing. Lizzie has a black t-shirt and short black shorts on, shell is wearing a short, low cut, yellow nightie, Ashley’s wearing a pink tank top with tie up sides and blue shorts, Katie has on a matching set of a tank top and pajama pants that are light green with yellow stars, Noelle has on a matching set of a short sleeved top and shorts, light blue and color, and finally, lark is oddly wearing a…um…piece of lingerie that’s um…red and…um…shows a lot of skin.)

Irvine: “What are you gals up to and can I come?!”

Ashley: “We’re having a sleepover.”

(all the ramble girls go into the tv room and lark stands in the doorway to address the guys)

Lark: “And no. There are no guys allowed. Ramble girls only.” *grins* “Have a nice night!”

(she goes into the tv room and shuts the door)

Guys: *all exchange looks and whine* “THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!”

Reno: “I gotta see what’s going on in there!”

Zell: “I’ll be happy just to *hear* what’s going on in there.”

Seifer: “Hey! The ramble room doesn’t have windows, but the tv room does! Let’s go spy from there!”

Irvine: “Wow! There is a brain in Seifer’s head! And by golly it works too!”

Seifer: *glares at irvine* “At least I don’t say ‘by golly’.”

Irvine: “Don’t mock the classics.”

(all the guys rush out the door and vincent goes to follow, until he realizes sephiroth hasn’t moved)

Vincent: “Angel?” *no reaction* “*Angel*?” *nothing, so he shakes him* “ANGEL!”

Sephiroth: *comes out of daze* “Omg, Vincent——did you see what Lark was wearing?!?!?!”


(and so irvine, reno, seifer, rude, rufus, tseng, reeve, vincent, sephiroth, jake, zell, and laguna are all crowded outside the tv room window, eager to hear and see what goes on. every time one of the guys speak, he’s obviously whispering so the girls inside can’t hear him. meanwhile, inside…)

Shell: “You’re such a skank, Lark! Don’t you own *normal* pajamas?”

Lark: “………Not really. Besides, I like this! It was a gift!”

Katie: “From who?”

Lark: “Guess.”

Ashley: “Irvine.”

Lark: “Nope. It doesn’t have fringes on it.”

Irvine: “Fringes are where it’s at, baby!”

Noelle: “Zidane?”

Lark: “No! Guess again?”

Katie: “Zell?”

Lark: “Yeah! Right!”


Zell: *flips out quietly* “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?!”

Seifer: “It means you only buy people comic books, chicken wuss!”


Lizzie: “Sephiroth?”

Lark: *doubles over laughing* “Haha! Sephiroth! Yeah! Right!”


Sephiroth: *pouts*


Shell: “Let me guess. It was Rufus J. Shinra then.”

Lark: “Damn straight.”


Rufus: “I rock!”


Noelle: “So what are we gonna do tonight? Watch a movie? Play I’ve Never? Throw stuff at Shell?”

Shell: “Shut up! Hmm….let’s be boring and just play truth or dare. We haven’t played that in awhile!”

Ashley: “Okay! I’ll go first!”


Reno: *climbing over rufus to try to peek in* “Ooh! Truth or dare! Maybe they’ll get dared to kiss one another!”

Rufus: “They’re not going to do that, Reno! Now get off me!”

Reno: “That’s not what you said last night.” *wink*

Rufus: “Ew! Knock it off, Reno!” *knocks him to the ground*


Ashley: “Okay….Katie. Truth or dare?”

Katie: “Truth.”

Ashley: “Who would you rather sleep with: Hojo or Heidegger?”

Katie: “Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t answer that!”

Ashley: “You have to!”

Katie: *scrunches up her nose* “Ewwww! If I *had* to….Heidegger, I guess. But EW!”


Zell: “Those really the kinds of questions girls ask each other?”

Irvine: “Why don’t they put two *hot* guys together and then make them choose! It’s still hard! Just not disgusting!”


Katie: “Okay……Shell: truth or dare?”

Shell: “Truth.”

Katie: “Okay, who would you rather date: a *really* hot guy who gave you no gifts, or Rude.”

Shell: “Hey! Rude’s hot!”


Rude: *jaw drops*

Reno: “Wow, dude! She really thinks you’re good looking!”


Shell: “I pick Rude!”


Rude: “I…I’m shocked.”


Shell: “Okay, Lizzie, truth or dare?”

Lizzie: “Dare.”


Reno: “This is where it gets good.”

Rufus: “She’s not going to dare her to kiss another girl, Reno!”


Shell: “I dare you to kiss—-”


Guys: *gasp*


Shell: “—this picture of Dr. J.”


Guys: *disappointed* “Oh….”


Lizzie: “EWWW!!! Not Dr. J!!!”

Shell: “Haha, too late, you have to do it or face the consequence.”

Noelle: “We never thought up a consequence.”

Ashley: “How about you have to run around outside the ramble room naked for 3 full circles.”

Lizzie: “Ugh! No way! I’ll kiss the picture!” *she does* “I’d rather kiss another *girl* than do that consequence!”


Reno: “See! Things are looking up!”

Rufus: “Would you shut up!?”


Lizzie: “Okay, Lark, truth or dare.”

Lark: “Truth.”

Lizzie: “Name every Final Fantasy guy you’ve ever kissed and then say who was the best kisser, and who was the worst. And guys you kissed in spin the bottle don’t count.”

Shell: “This list will take all night!”

Lark: “Shut up!” *clears throat* “Well let’s see….there’s Irvine, of course, Zell, Rufus…I’ve kissed Squall, and Sephiroth….and Vincent….and Reeve…”


Tseng: “Reeve!?!”

Reeve: *sweat drops* “Um….eh heh.”


Lark: “Um….and….ugh, I’m not counting Hojo. I’ve kissed Reno….and Zidane. I think that’s it.”

Lizzie: “Well come on, best and worst.”


Irvine: “This is it, boys. Whoever wins will be a king among kings, and whoever loses will be taunted until my throat is sore!”


Lark: “Hmmm….this is a tricky one. They’re all good. I mean, Irvine is obviously a great kisser, Zell is surprisingly good, Rufus is….wow…Squall is really good, Sephiroth is………totally amazing, so is Vincent, Reeve is very sweet, Reno is….forceful–lots of tongue, but still good, and Zidane is…..yum. So……I can’t really decide!”

Lizzie: “Fine! Just tell us who the best is then!”

Lark: “Fine……..um………Sephiroth.”

Girls: “Really?!”


Guys: “No way!”

Sephiroth: *pompous grin* “You guys gonna bow now or later?”


Lark: “Okay, my turn. Noelle, truth or dare?”

Noelle: “Hmm…… Let me think.”


Sephiroth: “I’m the best!”

Vincent: “He really is.”

Tseng: *glaring at reeve* “Yeah, Sephiroth’s a *great* kisser.”

Reeve: “Don’t get all mad at me just because I made out—er….kissed Lark.”

Tseng: *hisses loudly* “You made out with her?!”

Guys: “SHUSH!”


Ashley: “Did you guys hear something?”

Lark: “Nah, must just be the wind. So what’s it gonna be, Noelle?”


JT: *calling* “Hey, what are you guys doing at the window?!”

Guys: “SHUSH! Shut up!!”

JT: *quiet now* “What’s going on?” *comes over*


Ashley: “I *definitely* heard something.”

Katie: “Me too…”

Shell: “That makes three of us.”

Lark: “Let me see.” *gets up*


Guys: *all at once but quietly* “Oh crap!/Get down!/Shut up!/Hey, hey! That’s my foot!/Now’s not the time, Reeve!/GET OFF ME, RENO!”

(lark peers out the window barely and sees all the guys, but they don’t see her since all their heads are down. lark gets a wicked smile on her face and goes back in)

Noelle: “What was it?”

Lark: “Oh, it was nothing.”

(she quickly scrawls on a piece of paper: it was was the guys——–let’s pretend we don’t know they’re there and get them back *big* time. all the other girls nod with evil smiles)

Noelle: “Good thing it wasn’t the guys! Cause otherwise they’d be in *big* trouble!”

Katie: “Speaking of the guys, let’s talk about them now!”

Lark: “All right!!”


Seifer: “This is gonna get good.”


Ashley: “You guys, I have something to confess about Seifer.”


Seifer: “Told ya!”


Ashley: “He did the *meanest* thing to me today! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mad at him! And if he doesn’t specifically apologize for it tomorrow, I’m gonna break up with him.”


Seifer: “WHA?!?”


Shell: “You go, girl! Dump his sorry ass!”


Seifer: *panics* “What did I do?!”

Irvine: “You don’t know what you did?!”

Seifer: “No! She didn’t act mad at all today!! I have no idea what I did, and now she’s gonna break up with me if I can’t apologize specifically for it!!! I’m screwed!”

Zell: “Ha ha, Seifer.”


Shell: “You guys, I have some stuff to confess about Rude.”


Reno: *nudges rude* “Here comes the good stuff, buddy.”


Shell: “You know how he tells everyone his favorite movie is The Green Mile?…Well, that’s not true. ….His real favorites, are She’s All That and Beaches.”


Reno: “What?!”

Rude: “Uh…….”

Tseng: “Great! I’m not the only one!”


Noelle: “Wow! Really? A macho guy like that?”

Shell: “Not only does he love those movies, they both make him cry—–every time!”


Tseng: “We have more in common than I thought.”

Rude: “That’s not true!”

Reno: “You callin’ your girlfriend a liar, man?”

Rude: “I…….uh……..I…….”


Katie: “Wow! Well it goes to show you appearances can be deceiving! Although I have to admit I’m not really after Jake. I just like his dog!”


Jake: “WHAT?!”


Lizzie: “I’ve been using Laguna to get to Ward.”


Laguna: “But Ward’s so mean to me!!”


Lark: “Sephiroth told me he only liked Vincent in the first place because he had a tight ass.”


Sephiroth: “WHAT!?”

Vincent: “ANGEL!”

Sephiroth: “I never said that!”


Shell: “Ooh, and get this…..Rude says sometimes……he’s a little attracted to Reno.”


Reno: “WHAT?!?!”

Rude: “I’m not! I’m not, I swear!”

Reno: “I mean, I know I’m hot, man! And even though I may tease Rufus, I don’t swing that way!”


Lark: “That’s funny, cause Rufus says the same thing!”



Reno: “What?! And I’ve been playing along with it!”

Rufus: “I don’t! I don’t!!!!!!!!” *curls up in a ball*


Lark: “And not just Rufus——Vincent too!”


Vincent: “Me!?”

Reno: “What the hell!? What am I—irresistible?!”


Noelle: “That’s okay, because I think Reno and Irvine have something going on. All those times they go out ‘drinking’.”


Guys: *look at irvine and reno*

Reno: “We were really *drinking*!”

Irvine: “Beer!!!”


Lark: “Is that so? Cause I know Irvine likes to cross dress.”


Irvine: “That is *such* a lie!”

Shell: “Rude shaves his whole body. Not just his head.”

Noelle: “I really only broke up with Reno because I hate red heads so much that I want to kill them.”


Reno: “NANI!?”


Katie: “I’m only going out with Jake because I’m lonely.”

Lizzie: “I think Hojo is *way* cuter than Sephiroth.”

Lark: “Zell has a thing for Seifer.”



Zell: “EW! No way! If I was gonna like a guy, I’d like Squall! Not you!”


Lark: “And you know, the other day, I caught Vincent checking out Reeve.”


Tseng: *gasp* “Vincent! How could you!?”

Vincent: “I would never do that!!”

Guys: *stare at tseng*

Tseng: *sweat drops* “Reeve’s straight! We’re both straight! Straight as an arrow!”

Irvine: “A turn left arrow.”


Lark: “And also, you’d never believe this, but Seph said that Vincent’s really kinky.”

Katie: “Really?! Vincent?!”

Lark: *nods* “He likes S&M.”

Lizzie: “No kidding!”


Guys: *stare in disbelief at vincent*

Reno: “Ya know, when you *think* you know a person.”

Vincent: “That is not true. Not any of it. Angel, tell them it’s not true.”

Sephiroth: “You looked at *Reeve*!?”

Tseng: “There’s nothing wrong with Reeve!”

Seifer: “I’m still trying to figure out what I did to get Ashley mad!!!”


Noelle: “You guys, this is a big secret, and don’t tell anyone, but Cloud’s not really dumb. He’s just pretending to be so he can write a tell all book on the true lives of FF characters.”


Sephiroth: “That’s not true! She made that up! Cloud’s as dumb as a post!”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Maybe they know we’re out here!”

Jake: “Yeah, and they’re making all this up to get us mad.”

JT: “Wait….who likes who now?”

Sephiroth: “Besides, Vincent’s about as kinky as a nun. They know we’re here! They’re just trying to get us mad for spying!”


Shell: “Rude wears women’s underwear.”


Sephiroth: “Not that I wanna check, but that’s not true.”

Rude: “Damn straight it’s not.”


Ashley: “Seifer sleeps with a stuffed pink bunny rabbit at night.”


Sephiroth: “That’s made up.”

Seifer: “Right it is! Mr. Fluffykins isn’t pink! He’s white!”


Noelle: “JT’s a skanky slutbag.”


Sephiroth: “Can’t argue with the truth.”

JT: “Hey!”


Lizzie: “Rufus dresses a Cait Sith doll up as his latest crush.”


Sephiroth: “No one would wanna do that! Not even Rufus!”

Rufus: “That was a thinly veiled insult!”


Katie: “Irvine wears women’s perfume.”


Sephiroth: “Even I can smell that does not have flowers in it.” *waves hand in front of nose* “Phew, Irvine, tone it down with that stuff!”


Lark: *blurts out* “Sephiroth says he’s sick of Vincent!”


Sephiroth: *eyes widen and mutters* “Lark…how could you…?”


Lark: *gasps and claps a hand over her mouth* “Oh sh*t.”

Shell: “Lark? …Is that really true?”


Vincent: *looks at seph* “Angel….??”

Sephiroth: *hangs head*


Lark: “Oh no… I wasn’t supposed to say anything….”


Vincent: “……….” *runs off*

Sephiroth: “Oh no! Vincent! Wait!!!!!!!!” *runs after him*


Lark: “What have I done?!” *grabs a coat and runs out*

Ashley: “Okay…….. Did we miss something?”

Lizzie: “Looks like it’s game over.”


Reeve: “Are you mad at me, Tseng?”

Tseng: “Why would I be mad?….”

Reeve: “……Look, Tseng, uh….I was wondering…if…um…you’d like to go somewhere with me on Valentines Day–just as friends, you know?”

Tseng: *looks at him* “I’d like that.”

Reeve: *smiles* “Great.”

Zell: “So, wait, they made all that stuff up? Every word?!”

Girls: “Yup.”

(all the guys look up to see the ramble girls, except lark, looking out the window)

Reno: “Oh man! Were you guys in *there*? We were…uh…just playing in the dirt! Just like Irvine used to do when he was a kid!”

Irvine: “Hey, man, we had a jungle gym!”

Katie: “Nice try you guys!”

Shell: “I’m disappointed in you, Rude!”

Rude: *hangs head* “Sorry, Shell.”

Ashley: “Where are Sephiroth and Vincent?”

JT: “They ran off after Lark said that thing about Sephiroth being sick of him.”

Lizzie: “That sucks.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Now that we’re all friends again….”

Rufus: “Can we come in?”

Girls: “NO!” *slam window shut*


(meanwhile….sephiroth finds vincent on the porch swing, sobbing)

Sephiroth: “Vincent!” *comes and stands in front of him* “Why are you crying?”

Vincent: *sobs* “Because my angel doesn’t love me anymore!”

Sephiroth: *sighs* “Vincent…. That’s not true!”

Vincent: “Yes it is! You always yell at me and tell me to be quiet! You don’t love me at all!” *sobs*

Sephiroth: *sits next to him* “That’s because I’m just not a nice person.”

Vincent: “Now you tell other people you’re sick of me?! And how is that supposed to make me feel, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth: *takes vincent’s hands* “Look, Vincent, it’s not that I don’t love you. It’s just that….you’re smothering me. …You need to give me some space.”

Vincent: *sniff* “It’s about *her*, isn’t it.”

Sephiroth: “Vincent, are you jealous?”

Vincent: “……..I can’t help but feel that way.”

Sephiroth: “Well it is about her.”

Vincent: “How can you love us both? You’re lying! You don’t love me at all!”

Sephiroth: “That’s not true! Look, you *know* I can’t explain my feelings very well, so what do you want me to do to prove to you that I *do* love you??”

Vincent: “……….You don’t have to do anything, Sephiroth. ….I can’t help but believe you. I will stop smothering you, if that’s what you wish.”

Sephiroth: “Are you all right, Vincent?”

Vincent: “I am fine.”

(sephiroth takes vincent’s chin in his hand and kisses him lightly)

Sephiroth: “I never want to make you cry. Ever.”

Vincent: “….I love you, my angel.”

(lark comes running in, outta breath and stops short when she sees them)

Lark: “Whoa! I’m sorry! Am I interrupting a la Zell?”

Sephiroth: “No, Lark, it’s all right. Vincent and I are just patching things up.”

Lark: “………I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I would never have said anything, it just slipped.”

Sephiroth: “Forget it. It’s better that he found out.”

Vincent: “Things are fine, Lark. Really.”

Lark: “…..Are you sure?”

Sephiroth and Vincent: “Yes.”

Vincent: “Sephiroth….may you leave me alone with Lark for a moment?”

Sephiroth: *confused* “Uh….sure. I’ll go see how the morons in the dirt are doing.”

(sephiroth leaves, totally unsure of this situation. lark comes and sits next to vincent on the swing)

Lark: “Are you sure you’re not mad at me? I’d be mad at me.”

Vincent: “It’s all right, Lark. Really, please do not worry about it. ……I have another question for you.”

Lark: “What is it?”

Vincent: *looks her straight in the eyes* “Do you love him?”

Lark: *blinks and says quietly* “…What?”

Vincent: “Do you love Sephiroth? Yes or no.”

Lark: “I……well, I–”

Vincent: “A simple answer is all I need. Please tell me the truth.”

Lark: “Yes.” *hangs head* “Yes I do. …..Please don’t tell him. Gods, oh, Vincent, I never meant to….”

Vincent: “Are you crying, Lark?”

Lark: *wipes at her tears and nods*

Vincent: “Why?”

Lark: “I don’t know what to say!”

(she gets up and runs inside, leaving vincent alone)

Vincent: “Do not worry, Lark. I know not what to say either.”

THE END………………………………………………………………………?

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