#53 – Sing Your Heart Out (part one)

Sephiroth: “Try outs for what? Are you starting a fencing team? A killing team? I’d like to be on a killing team!”

Originally Published: 10/28/00 . 15 pages

Lark and Noelle decide to put on a production of ‘Into the Woods’ with the ramble gang as their cast and crew. Will anyone show up to try out?

Ramble Milestones
Nothing this time.

This ramble is amusing enough – I like the different characters playing Final Fantasy VII. I’m a big time musical theater junkie, so it’s no surprise that I wrote a ramble like this. I don’t think it was supposed to be two parts, but I probably got lazy and decided to make it a two parter.

(lark and Noelle are alone in the ramble room. Noelle is lying on the couch and lark is taping an ‘out of order’ sign on the phone)

Lark: *satisfied smile* “There. Now no one will use it!”

Noelle: *whines* “Lar-ark! I’m bor-red!”

Lark: “So go bother someone who’s *not* me.”

Noelle: *sits up* “Come on! Let’s think of something fun to do that won’t take two seconds!”

Lark: “How about another game of baseball?”

Noelle: “Hell no!”

Lark: *frowns* “It was just a suggestion.”

Noelle: *leaps to her feet* “Oh my god! I know!”

Lark: “Reno already suggested a rodeo.”

Noelle: *gives her a weird look* “No! We could do a musical!”

Lark: “Ooh! Let’s do Scarlet Pimpernel!” *turns to grin at herself in the mirror* “I could be Marguerite!”

Noelle: “No way! There aren’t enough parts in that!”

Lark: *turns to her* “Sure there are! We have plenty of guys and there are all the bounders!”

Noelle: *crosses her arms and gives her a look* “I meant enough *girl* parts.”

Lark: *frowns* “Oh. Yeah. I guess you guys would want to be in it too.”

Noelle: “We need to think of a show that has a lot of roles for guys and girls, and that *doesn’t* have an ensemble.”

(they both think deeply for a minute. then both their eyes light up)

Noelle and Lark: *exclaim* “Into the Woods!”

Lark: “It’s perfect!”

Noelle: “I’m glad I thought of it!”

Lark: “This is perfect! We could both direct it, and anyone who’s not in it can work on it.”

Noelle: “I wanna be the Baker’s Wife!”

Lark: “I wanna be the Witch!” *pause* “Wait… Nah, I want to play opposite a guy. I’ll be Cinderella.”

Noelle: “Shell can be Little Red Riding Hood, and Katie can be Rapunzel.”

Lark: “I guess Ashley can be the witch then, and Lizzie can be Granny. She gets stage fright anyway.”

Noelle: “But what about everyone else?”

Lark: “We’ll hold auditions. We can’t be nice all the time.”

Noelle: “…Since when are we nice all the time?”

(cut to a little later. most of the guys are packed into the tv room watching sephiroth play ff7. he’s at the part where they’re in the shinra hq on disc one)

Barret: “Yo, foo! You’re supposed ta go into the bathroom and watch the meetin’!”

Sephiroth: “But I wanna go in and kill all the executives now!”

Reeve: *gulp*

Rufus: *waves his hand* “Whatever. I’m not there. Do what you want.”

Sephiroth: “Come on, Cloud! You’re such a wuss!” *presses buttons frantically*

Vincent: “Angel, you have to do what the game wants.”

Sephiroth: “Then it’s not *really* role playing, is it!?”

Irvine: “Sephiroth, just do what the hell it wants, and get on with it!”

Zell: *punching air* “This game sucks!”

Cid: “@#!^%@#&@*@!!”

Barret: “Yo, you tell ‘im, man!”

Sephiroth: “Wouldn’t it be weird to see three people going into a bathroom stall? Especially with you three weirdos?”

Barret: “Yo! Who you callin’ weird, punk?”

Sephiroth: *as the team climbs into the vent* “This sucks. Why won’t you wimps just go into the conference room and start kickin’ ass? When do I steal Jenova? When’s the Kalm flashback? When do I get Vincent? When do I kill Aeris? When does Rufus die?”

Rufus: “Hey!”

Barret: “Shut da hell up and play! Stop askin’ so many damn questions!”

(lark and Noelle come into the room holding flyers)

Noelle: “Hello, boys!”

Lark: “Sephy? You’re playing Final Fantasy 7?” *watches for a second* “All right… Just don’t break it when you get mad.”

Sephiroth: “This meeting is boring! Just shut *up*, Reeve! Like any of them even *care*!”

Reeve: *hangs head* “It pays to try…”

Sephiroth: “Oh *man* is Palmer annoying! Can’t Cloud kill him?”

Vincent: “No… But he gets hit by a truck later.”

Sephiroth: “Well, I’d rather have blood, but I’ll take that.”

Lark: “Hello! We have news!”

(everyone turns to look at them except sephiroth who keeps playing)

Noelle: *starts handing out flyers* “We’re doing a musical. You’re all expected to come try out for it tomorrow.”

Tseng: *raises an eyebrow* “Into the Woods?”

Lark: “Yup. Noelle and I are directing.”

Sephiroth: *frantically pressing buttons* “Dammit! Why can’t I just kill Hojo now?! Kill Hojo! Kill Cloud! Kill Aeris! Kill them all!”

Vincent: “Calm down, angel.”

Lark: “Sephy-sama, no breaking!”

Noelle: “It’s gonna be great!”

Squall: “…Who’s gonna come see this?”

(lark and Noelle look at each other)

Noelle: “…I thought you…”

Lark: “…No…”

Squall: “…I think I’ve stumped them.”

Lark: “I don’t know! People from other games and anime! That’s not important! We’re putting on a show and everyone’s helping!”

Rufus: “Is everyone guaranteed a part?”

Noelle: “Everyone cute is.” *lark elbows her* “Ow!”

Sephiroth: “Come on, Hojo! Fight me! Be a man!”

Barret: “Yo! Whatta we gotta sing?”

Lark: *shrugs* “Whatever.”

Squall: “Sounds good to me.”

Sephiroth: “Aw, man! Damn Turks!” *pushes buttons frantically* “Come on, Cloud! Fight ’em! Fight ’em! Dammit!” *growls* “You suck, President Shinra!”

Rufus: “Damn straight!”

Reeve: “Have any of the parts been pre-cast?”

(lark and Noelle look at each other)

Lark: “No….”

Noelle: “Why would we do something like that?”

Reeve: “Well, I’m guessing *you’re* not trying out.”

Lark: “………Shut up, Reeve.”

Sephiroth: *excitedly* “Now *this* is a game! Look at those trails of blood! It’s a work of art!”

Everyone else: *sweat drops*

Lark: “Sephiroth, you had better come to the try outs tomorrow!”

Sephiroth: *turns around* “Try outs for what? Are you starting a fencing team? A killing team? I’d like to be on a killing team!”

(everyone turns and looks at lark)

Lark: “Eh heh heh…” *sweat drops*

(the next day. lark and Noelle have set up a table in the middle of the ramble room, facing the door. there are pieces of paper and bottles of water on it. lark sits behind it, arranging papers. Noelle stands by the door, one hand on the door knob, staring down at her watch.)

Noelle: “8:59. Do you think I should open the door?”

Lark: “We said 9 o’clock. Let ’em wait.” *chuckles* “I bet they’re all standing out there, eager to try out for us!”

Noelle: “9:00!” *opens the door* “Okay, boys! One at a ti–” *stops dead* “What the…??” *blinks* *turns to lark* “It’s only Sephiroth. And Reno.”

Lark: *blinks* “Only two guys showed up?”

Reno: “I’d better get a good part!”

Noelle: “Where’s everyone else?!”

Reno: *shrugs* “How should I know? I was here first!”

Sephiroth: “Was not!”

Lark: *comes to the door* “Is this a joke? I’m going to find some more people, and *then* you may try out.”

Reno: *whines* “But I’ve already been waiting an hour!”

Sephiroth: *brags* “I’ve been waiting an hour and fifteen minutes.”

Lark: “Be right back.” *she heads for the tv room*

Reno: *nudges Noelle* “Do I get part cause I’m sleeping with one of the directors?”

Noelle: “No.”

Reno: “Hey!”

(meanwhile in the tv room…. there is a bunch of guys gathered to watch reeve play ff7. he’s in a random encounter)

Reeve: “Why are these random encounters so hard?”

Barret: “Yo! Maybe if you stopped using that hunka junk Cait Sith!”

Reeve: “Hey, he was expensive!”

Barret: “Then maybe you just did a crappy job controlling it!”

Reeve: “Hey! I helped you!”

Vincent: “Now, now, Reeve. You can’t take Cait Sith into the temple. You have to change your party.”

Reeve: *pales* “Temple of the Ancients?”

Vincent: “Yes.”

Reeve: *turns and looks back at tseng and then back at the screen* “Um… I don’t wanna play anymore. Where’s Sephiroth? Isn’t his part coming up soon?”

Rude: “Stop stalling.”

(lark enters the room)

Reeve: *grins* “Oh, look! It’s Lark! I bet she has something for us all to do!” *shuts the game off*

Everyone else except Tseng and Lark: *groan*

Lark: *hands on hips looking annoyed* “Hello! Where are you guys!?”

Rufus: “Uh…. In the tv room?”

Lark: “The *try outs*!”

Guys: “Oh… Right…”

Lark: “Why weren’t you waiting outside?!”

Guys: *shrug*

Lark: *points to the door* “Well go now!”

Guys: *mumble* “Yes, Lark…”

(irvine hangs back with a lazy grin)

Irvine: “I’ve got a better idea.”

Lark: “Oh? What’s that?”

Irvine: *grins*  “You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?”

Lark: “Irvine, it’s 9 o’clock in the morning.”

Irvine: “So…?”

Lark: “….Where are you going to get the handcuffs?” *grins and leaves*

(lark’s back in the ramble room. she and Noelle are seated behind the table)

Noelle: “All right! Come in, Reno!”

(the door opens and reno comes in)

Sephiroth: *heard muttering as the door closes* “I was first.”

Reno: *grins* “I’m ready for my close up.”

Noelle: “Reno, babe. It’s not a movie. But you’re cute anyway.”

Lark: “What are you going to sing for us, Reno?”

Reno: *grins* “Love Shack.”

(the girls exchange a look)

Reno: “This is a kick ass song!”

Noelle: “Okay…. Go ahead.”

Reno: *starts singing and he sounds terrible*

(the girls sit through his song, a disgusted and kind of scared look on their faces)

Reno: *finishes with a grin* “Well?”

Lark: “Uh….”

Noelle: “You were……..great…..yeah….”

Reno: “I know.”

Lark: “You can send in the next person, Reno.”

Reno: “You ladies know where to reach me.”

Noelle: “The floor outside the ramble room?”

Reno: “Yeah.” *he leaves*

Noelle: *writing on her sheet* “He’s the Baker.”

Lark: “Noelle! Are you kidding me! He sucks!”

Noelle: “He’s cute!”

Lark: “…….Fine. But I get to pick who my prince is then.”

(sephiroth comes in, looking a bit nervous)

Lark: “Hey, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth: *wrings his hands* “Hello.”

Lark: *looks at him curiously* “Are you nervous?”

Sephiroth: *gulp* “Uh… No…”

Lark: “Don’t be nervous, babe.”

Sephiroth: *raises an eyebrow* “Babe?”

Noelle: “Whatcha singin’?”

Sephiroth: “Um… I thought I might sing ‘Twilight Time’…you know…that old song…”

Noelle: “Never heard of it.”

Lark: *grins* “I love that song!!”

Sephiroth: *smiles, clears his throat and starts singing*

(sephiroth starts to sing, and, as we know, he’s really good. Noelle’s jaw falls open, and lark smiles widely)

Sephiroth: *finishing* “…How was that?”

Noelle: *blinks in amazement* “Wow.”

Lark: *still smiling* “That was very good, Sephiroth. Will you send the next auditioner in please?”

Sephiroth: *nods and leaves*

Lark: “He’s my prince!”

Noelle: “Did you know he was that good?!”

Lark: *nods* “Yup.”

Noelle: “….Wow.”

(some time later….lark and Noelle have seen most of the guys. rude comes in)

Lark: “Hi, Rude.”

Rude: “Hello.”

Noelle: “Whatcha singin’?”

Rude: “I thought I would sing ‘Music of the Night’ from Phantom of the Opera.”

Lark: “All right. Sing your heart out.”

(he does. and, of course, he’s great. lark and Noelle stare at him in shock as he finishes)

Noelle: “Geez.”

Lark: “Have you ever taken lessons, Rude?”

Rude: “No.”

Noelle: “Geez.”

Lark: “Thank you very much. That was wonderful.”

(he nods and leaves)

Noelle: “Geez. Is there anything he *can’t* do?”

Lark: “Well that was everyone.”

Noelle: “I guess it’s time to draw up the cast list.”

Lark: “This is gonna be a cinch.”

(the next morning. lark and Noelle are in the hallway putting up the cast list. the rest of the hall is deserted.)

Lark: *smiles* “There. All finished.”

Noelle: “Now we just wait for everyone to come look at it.”

(they wait for a few seconds. no one’s coming)

Lark: “I’ll go get them.”

(she goes to the tv room, where the guys have once against gathered to watch someone play ff7. now it’s rufus at the controls)

Sephiroth: “No, no, you idiot! Use barrier! BARRIER!”

Vincent: “Using my limit break here would not be wise.”

Rufus: “This is ghetto! This is bootleg! This is ass lancing!” *struggling with the controller*

Reeve: “Where did he get those words from?”

Tseng: “The girls. Who else?”

Barret: “Yo, use ice 2, dumbass!”

Cid: “@#@#$^@&@&@%%**%^*(!”

Ashley: “Cid’s right! Use Bio!”

Rufus: “This dragon sucks! Let me fight something better!”

Sephiroth: “Like Diamond WEAPON?” *laughs*

Rufus: “Shut up! Stop making fun of me!”

(lark enters)

Lark: “You’re playing that *again*? Don’t you get sick of it?”

Tseng: *turns to look at her* “Don’t you get sick of it?”

Lark: “……………………….Shut up.”

Rufus: *jumping up and down* “Ha ha! I beat it! I beat the red dragon!”

Vincent: “Now you have to let Cait Sith in.”

Rufus: *sigh of annoyance* “Aw, Reeve! Why’d you have to go and invent that thing? It’s so annoying!”

Reeve: *sighs* “You know, I tried *really* hard–“

Lark: “You guys, the cast list is on the wall waiting to be looked at!”

Reno: *eyes widen* “IT IS!?”

(everyone gets up and runs out the door, except irvine)

Lark: “Irvine…”

Irvine: *crooked grin* “Yeah, babe?”

Lark: “Why didn’t you try out!”

Irvine: *shrugs* “Show biz ain’t my thing.”

Lark: *crosses arms* “Then what *is* your thing?”

Irvine: *still grinning* “Why guns and women of course!”

Lark: *sighs* “I shouldn’t have even asked.”

Irvine: “So you wanna come over for some pizza and sex?”

Lark: *sighs and she walks out*

Irvine: *calls after her* “What? You don’t like pizza?”

(meanwhile everyone’s looking at the cast list)

Rufus: “How did *Reno* get the Baker? He can’t even sing! He sucks!”

Reno: *grins* “I just got the right connections.” *winks at Noelle*

Rufus: *whines* “Lark! You like me! Why didn’t I get a better part?”

Lark: “You did get a good part, honey!”

Rufus: “I’m the old man!”

Lark: “You’re Reno’s father!”

Reno: “Ugh! I don’t know where I got my looks then!”

Rufus: *clenches fists* “Grrrr….”

Lark: “Relax, Ru-sama. You get to boss him around!”

Reno: *jaw drops* “But he already gets to do that!”

Rufus: *rubs his hands together* “Maybe this isn’t such a bad part after all.”

Tseng: “I’m a wicked step *brother*?”

Reeve: “So am I…”

Lark: “Not enough girls tried out, so you’re my siblings instead. You have to hit on Sephiroth.”

Tseng: “All right—er… I mean…that…uh…sucks.”

Sephiroth: “I’m Cinderella’s prince?”

Lark: “Yup!”

Sephiroth: “You’re Cinderella?”

Lark: “Yup!”

Sephiroth: “Do we…uh…get to kiss?”

Lark: “A little. But mainly you get to make out with the Baker’s wife.”

Sephiroth: *garden snap* “Dammit!”

Laguna: “Hey hey! They changed the play to have Jack’s father instead of his mother! And hey hey! I’m the father!” *reads the list some more* “And lookie here! You’re Jack, Squall!”

Squall: “Kill me.”

Laguna: *arm around squall* “This is great, son! I play your dad! Just like in real life!”

Rinoa: “You know your character dies, right, Laguna?”

Squall: *eyes light up* “Can that happen in real life?”

Rude: “I’m the wolf.”

Shell: “I’m Little Red Riding Hood.”

Rude: “Guess that means we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.”

Shell: *shrugs* “Whatever.”

Lark: *smiles* “I think this show will work out just fine.”

Noelle: “Me too.”

(they look at all the people around the cast list then at each other)

Lark and Noelle: “I think we’re outta our minds.”

To Be Continued….

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