Wufei: “Since when do we get tests in study hall?!”

Originally Published: 6/27/01 . 30 pages

Synopsis
Lark, Sephiroth and Vincent all have strange dreams. Do they mean anything?

Ramble Milestones
-The only time we get a look at Vincent’s dreams.

I guess I got lazy, because that’s the only thing that can describe Vincent’s excuse for a dream. At least the rest of the ramble is amusing enough.

(we see sephiroth dragging lark away from the tv room. she looks kind of annoyed)

Lark: “Sephiroth, what is this about? Did I not tell everyone that we were having a sleepover??”

Sephiroth: *turns and glares at her* “We are going to bed.”

Lark: “Since when do you make decisions for me?”

Sephiroth: “Since I feel like it.”

(he starts to drag her away again, but she stops and yanks his arm)

Lark: “No! Sephiroth, what the hell has gotten into you? You demand my attention almost constantly, you treat Vincent like *complete* scum– I don’t get it.”

Sephiroth: “Look, I just want to go to sleep. I’m exhausted.”

(and she doesn’t resist this time as he drags her off. and they do go to bed. and apparently they’re both very tired, because they go straight to sleep, arms wrapped around one another. and first, we get dream lines for sephiroth….)

<CLICK>

Voice: “Do you like cars?”

Reno and Irvine: “Yeah.”

Voice: “Do you like chicks?”

Reno and Irvine: “Hell yea!” *high five*

Voice: “Then go see ‘Cars and Chicks’, the new action movie about guys who drive cars and the chicks they wanna score with. Staring any handsome actor we could find to act in this crap to get girls to come, and guys to think is ‘cool’, and hot chicks who were desperate to be in anything. You’ll see cars. You’ll see chicks. And then you’ll see more cars again. Really, really fast cars.”

Reno and Irvine: *enthralled* “Wow…”

Voice: “So come see ‘Cars and Chicks’. We know you’ll spend your 8.75 because we had a special on MTV.”

Reno and Irvine: “MTV?? Cool!”

Voice: “‘Cars and Chicks’, rated PG-13 even though it should be ‘R’. We don’t want to lose half our audience.”

<CLICK>

(we see zell holding a tootsy roll pop. and yeah, I know I spelled it wrong. I did it on purpose.)

Zell: “Hmmm… How many licks *does* it take to get to the center of a tootsy roll pop?” *lightbulb appears over his head* “I know! I’ll ask Mr. Turk!”

(he goes over to where tseng is relaxing in a hammock, holding a leash that reeve is attached to)

Zell: “I need your help, Mr. Turk!”

Tseng: “I’m busy. Is it important?”

Zell: “I was wondering… How many licks *does* it take to get to the center of a tootsy roll pop?”

Tseng: “Let’s find out.”

(he takes the lollipop and puts it in his mouth…and…um…if you read every edition of the letters, you know what he’s doing with it. if you haven’t…well…let’s just say that he’s mimicking a certain act and zell and reeve are enthralled)

Tseng: *grins* “Juuuuuuuuust one.” *idly throws the lollipop back to zell and tugs on reeve’s leash*

Zell: *stares at the lollipop in his hand* “I…uh…have to go take care of something now.” *runs off*

Voiceover: “Tootsy roll pops. Satisfy your every need.”

<CLICK>

(we see a park bench, and sitting on it are lark and Noelle)

Lark: “I’m bored.”

Noelle: “Let’s guess what kind of underwear the guys walking by are wearing.”

Lark: “Sounds good to me.”

(irvine walks by)

Lark and Noelle: “Boxers.”

(laguna walks by)

Lark and Noelle: “Briefs.”

(rufus walks by)

Lark and Noelle: “Boxer briefs.”

(kuja walks by)

Lark and Noelle: “Thong.”

(heidegger walks by)

Lark and Noelle: *shudder*

(red walks by.)

Lark and Noelle: *stare*

Red: *stares back* “I wear no garments at all. Can you not see that?”

Barret’s voice: “Yo! Cat/rat/iron matted rock puppy! Come put on yo’ diaper!”

Red: *hangs head*

Voiceover: “This commercial doesn’t have a slogan. But couldn’t you see Lark and Noelle really doing that?”

<CLICK>

(we see hojo sitting behind a desk)

Hojo: “Do you have an invention you want to get off the ground?”

(he picks up a box and places it on his desk. the box moves, and hojo watches it warily)

Hojo: “If so, you could be my assistant! I can help you patent your creation, and we can both become world famous!” *the box moves again he smacks it* “Boys only, please. I don’t want any girls around. Just call me, Hojo, at Hojo labs!”

(the box moves again, violently, and is knocked over. whatever was inside escapes, and hojo’s eyes widen)

Hojo: “…Something licked me.”

<CLICK>

Voiceover: “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. Opens July 11th.”

(rufus steps in, arms crossed, looking annoyed)

Rufus: “Yeah! I have a bone to pick with that! Why aren’t *I* in the movie?? Or better yet, why don’t they use MY movie? That’s the *real* Final Fantasy movie. It has *real* Final Fantasy characters in it. I mean, hell! Who cares about the others?! All it really needs is me! Look at me! I’m hot, I’m cool, I’m ‘with it’. And I got Turks to back me up!”

(he claps and the turks unhappily file in behind him, looking glum)

Rufus: “See? Who else has this? No one! Now try telling me I don’t belong in the movie.”

Tseng: “You don’t.”

Rufus: “Shut up, Tseng. Anyway, this is just my humble public service message telling you to write your Congressman and tell them I should be in the movie.”

Reno: “That won’t help, you idiot.”

Elena: “It’s too late to change the movie, President Rufus.”

Rude: “…….Yeah.”

Tseng: “You’re a moron.”

Rufus: “Shut up! For the next ten minutes you’re all fired!”

Voiceover: “Paid for by Rufus. Because he really has no friends. No one who really loves him.”

Kind of like you, Sephiroth.

(dream over. sephiroth wakes up with a start, panting. it takes him a moment to recover. then he looks over at lark, who has turned away from him, and is all cuddled up on her side of the bed. with a sigh he plops back down and closes his eyes………….)

…………………………………………………………………………………………

(we now move to the ramble room, where the guys from the previous ramble: rufus, reno, rude, irvine, laguna, squall, reeve, vincent, seifer, zell and tseng are in their pajamas now, armed with sleeping bags and the like. looks like they’re having a sleepover of their own. rufus has taken over the couch. the lights are out, but no one is asleep, yet…)

Rufus: “Tseng, you and Reeve better not….*do* anything.” *look of disgust*

Tseng: *rolls his eyes* “Yeah, Rufus. We’re going to have sex in front of everyone because we’re such exhibitionists.”

Rufus: “ACK!!!”

Reno: “Oh, god, someone get him a sarcasm detector.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! Let’s all play nice!”

Squall: “Shut up, dad.”

Laguna: “You called me dad, son!”

Squall: “…Dammit…”

Reeve: “What’s the matter, Vincent? You’ve spoken less than usual.”

Irvine: “Worried about ‘Roth?”

Vincent: *sad sigh* “Yes. He hates me now, and I don’t know why…”

Zell: “I’m worried about ‘Roth too…”

Seifer: “I thought you hated him.”

Zell: “No, I hate you.”

Seifer: “Hey! That was uncalled for!” *pause* “Zell has a crush on Sephiroth!”

Zell: *flips* “I do not!”

Squall: “Knock it off!!”

Everyone: *blink*

Zell: “Wow, Squall. You *yelled*.”

Laguna: “I’m so proud of you, son!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Reno: “I think we should all leave him alone for awhile. He’s had a rough couple of days. He could use a vacation. Hell, I think we all could.”

Seifer: “Yeah, someone tell that to Lark.”

Reeve: “Isn’t hanging out in here supposed to be a vacation?”

Rufus: *snort* “Yeah, right.”

Irvine: *yawn* “I’m tired. I say we hit the sack.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! I second that!”

Irvine: “Nighty night, ya’ll.”

(they all say good night, and the room gets very quiet. vincent sighs and rolls on his side. he soon falls asleep… ~~~~~~~~ yeah, that’s right. dream lines for vincent. but fear not. he’s not having any real nightmares. instead we see a small fence, like one a horse might jump over, and a short line of cute fluffy sleep lined up before it)

Sheep 1: “Okay! Let’s do it!”

(and he runs forward and tries to go over the fence, but he just ends up hitting his head and falling back, as stars go around his head)

Sheep 1: “Ow…”

Sheep 2: “Let me try!”

(and he does, but the same thing happens. so then the 3rd tries, and then the 4th, and then the 5th, and so on, until they’ve all tried and failed)

Sheep 4: “That fence is high.”

Sheep 3: “We have to do it!”

(so they all try again, and again they all fail. and even more stars go around their little heads)

Sheep 5: *sounds a little dizzy* “No one said we had to jump three fences…”

(all the sheep get to their feet and try again, and again they fail. and each time they hit their head they pass out. so now there is a bunch of passed out sheep in front of the fence.)

You can’t even dream right.

(then vincent sits up with a start, his breathing seemingly loud in the almost quiet ramble room. seifer is snoring lightly, zell snorts in his sleep, and rufus is muttering about how he deserves more money. with a sigh, he looks down and mutters)

Vincent: “It’s because I remind him of his past.”

………………………………………………………………………………………….

(meanwhile, back in lark and seph’s room, they’re still asleep. and if you guessed that it’s time for Lark’s dream, you’re right!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and guess what? we hear a bell ringing, and a familiar school hallway, and elena, with her sash and whistle, directing the traffic. rufus, the principal, is making his way over to her)

Elena: “Move it, you stupid jerks!! No loitering in the halls! Principal Rufus will have your head!!”

Random Kid: *yells back* “Principal Rufus sucks!”

Rufus: *frowns* “I heard that.” *looks at elena* “Elena, I don’t think I want you threatening the students like that.”

Elena: “Why not? My studies show it works!”

Rufus: “….Studies?”

Elena: *blows whistle* “Move it, buddy, or you’ll get a one way ticket to Principal Rufus’ office!”

Rufus: *blinks* “Uh… I think I’ll return to my office now.”

(and he does, having to fight the crowd of kids on the way. in the office, scarlet is painting her nails. mr. kuja is sitting in a chair next to twilight)

Rufus: *makes a face* “Scarlet, that stuff stinks. Don’t paint your nails in here!”

Scarlet: “But Mr. Kuja recommended the color.”

Rufus: “Don’t you have work you could be doing?”

Scarlet: “Like what? I just finished giving Vice Principal Heidegger more erasers.”

Rufus: “NO!!!!”

Heidegger: *from his office* “Gya haa haa! Rubbery!!”

Rufus: *rubs his temple* “I swear, someone here has to get fired.” *sigh* “Okay, Miss Scarlet. What’s on my agenda today.”

Scarlet: *hands him a schedule covered in nail polish*

Rufus: “Yuck…” *reads it over* “Oh right. The school dance is tonight. I have to go to that.”

Scarlet: “I’ll be working there too.”

Rufus: “Oh, you’re going to be a chaperone?”

Scarlet: *shifty eyes* “Yeah… That’s it…”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Streamers!”

Kuja: *clears his throat*

Rufus: *turns to see him* “Mr. Kuja? Twilight? *Again*?”

Kuja: “This student has yet to be sufficiently punished.”

Rufus: “Don’t you have a class this period?”

Kuja: “They’re taking a test.”

(cuts to mr. kuja’s classroom, where everyone sits in silence, staring down at their desks in horror)

Noelle: “We can’t even cheat! No one knows how to do this!!”

Wufei: “Since when do we get tests in study hall?!”

(back to rufus’s office)

Rufus: *sigh* “Fine. What was he doing this time?”

Kuja: “The same old things he’s always been doing.”

Twilight: “Hey! That’s not true! I got some new material in there!”

Kuja: “I want to throw him out of my class.”

Twilight: *whines* “No! It’s my favorite one!”

Rufus: *sigh* “Thank you, Mr. Kuja. I’ll deal with him.”

Kuja: *mumbles something about the bathroom and leaves*

Rufus: “Now, Twilight, this time you have to be punished. And I think I have just the thing…”

Twilight: *looks a little scared*

(meanwhile…there are reno and rude, the hall monitors, standing around and talking instead of watching…)

Reno: “You goin’ to the dance tonight, man?”

Rude: “Uh huh. I had to buy Shell a new outfit for it.”

Reno: “Is it a slutty outfit?”

Rude: “No. Just expensive.”

Reno: “That sucks.” *grins* “I’m gonna ask Tifa.”

Rude: “She’s not gonna go with you, man.”

Reno: “I dunno, man. I think she’s starting to cave!”

Rude: “We’ll soon see. Here comes the dance team.”

Shell: *prancing* “The finals are this weekend, and we are *so* gonna win!”

Rinoa: *frowns* “You know, Principal Rufus called me into his office yesterday to talk about my ‘addiction’. This crack rumor Ashley started has gone way too far!”

Tifa: “Don’t worry. By next week everyone will be talking about something else.”

Shell: “Hi, Rude!” *kisses him* “I really like the new outfit you bought me! You’ll have to buy me another sometime!”

Rude: “Yes, Shell.”

Reno: *grins* “So are all you lovely ladies going to the dance tonight?”

Rinoa: “I’m going with Squall.”

Tifa: “I’m going too.”

Reno: “Wanna go with me?”

Tifa: “I’d rather die.”

Reno: “Aw, come on! I’m not that bad!”

Tifa: “NO!”

Reno: “I promise I won’t try and grope you much!”

Tifa: “NO!!!”

(meanwhile, down the hall, we see barret and cid who are picking on poor reeve.)

Barret: “Yo, man! Co’ on! I need to copy yo’ history homework!”

Cid: “#$%#%^%^&%*^%*#^#$^%#$&%!”

Reeve: *pushing his glasses up* “Uh… Come on, guys. You should do your own work.”

Barret: “Yo! We ain’t got no time!”

Cid: “#$%#^^%&^*^#$^$^%^&%#^*%#^*&#$^%!”

Barret: “Yo, man! Cid’s right! We’s got slammin’ to do!”

Reeve: *skeptically* “Slammin’?”

Barret: “Yo, don’t talk down to us just cause you ain’t cool enough to know what slammin’ is! Now come on!”

Cid: “$#%#%^$&%^*^@%!”

(reeve sighs and reaches into his backpack, about too not too happily relent, when tseng comes over, looking stern)

Tseng: “What’s going on here? Let’s get to class.”

Barret: “Yo! You can’t be bossin’ us around!”

Cid: “$%#^$^&*^%&$!”

Tseng: *gives him an even sterner look* “Is that so? Do you want to take this up with principal Rufus?”

Barret: *sweat drops* “Yo, if I end up in his office again my momma’s gonna take away my tunes for a month!”

Cid: *nods*

Barret: “Yo! You win this time, punk! But we be back!”

(they leave, and reeve smiles at tseng gratefully)

Reeve: “Thanks, Tseng.”

Tseng: “No problem. What are ‘friends’ for?” *grin*

Reeve: “I can’t wait till the dance tonight.”

Tseng: “Me neither. Elena has been hounding me all week trying to get me to tell her who I’m going with.”

Reeve: “We’re still going to go through with our plan, right?”

Tseng: “Of course. Unless… You don’t want to…”

Reeve: “No, I want to.” *pats tseng’s hand* “I’ve gotta get to class. I’ll be at your house around six so we can ‘get ready’ before the dance.”

Tseng: *grins and pats him on the arm* “I look forward to it.”

(meanwhile, in the gym…the basketball team is practicing as usual…but they look pretty glum. and they’re not talking…)

Zell: “I can’t believe we blew that game.”

Zidane: “They sucked too.”

Seifer: “Totally. They totally sucked.”

Zidane: “We should have won.”

Zell: “Yeah.”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Irvine: *looks really down*

Zell: “We lose one more game and we’re out.”

Seifer: “We can’t let that happen.”

Zidane: “You guys, I don’t really want to say anything, but I think there’s one of us to blame for our major suckage factor.”

Squall: “Whatever. We all know it’s Irvine.”

(they all look at poor irvine)

Irvine: *sigh* “I just can’t play these important games!” *tear*

Seifer: “Don’t cry again, man! The cheerleaders are right over there.”

Zidane: “Don’t worry about it, man. We’ll think of something that’ll make your nerves go away.”

Zell: “Yeah. In the meantime, let’s all go kick back at the dance tonight.”

Zidane: “Do you have a date?”

Zell: “….No.”

Zidane: “Me neither.”

Squall: “I’m going with Rinoa.”

Seifer: “Aren’t you working refreshments tonight, Zell?”

Zell: “Shut up, man! I’m on the committee!”

Seifer: *snickers* “Nice, chicken wuss.”

Zell: *flips out* “Shut up, Seifer!”

(next we go to the pretty glum looking cheerleaders, who are standing against the wall sadly)

Katie: “I can’t believe we lost that game…”

Selphie: “And we cheered our hearts out!”

Yuffie: “I practically threw out my damn voice cheering!”

Katie: “I guess we’ll just have to think up some new cheers!”

Yuffie: “Let’s use my balls one!”

Katie and Selphie: “NO!”

Selphie: “Well, we can get some dance practice at the dance tonight.”

Katie: “It better not be lame like the last dance.”

Yuffie: “Five basketballs says it is.”

Selphie: “What is with you and basketballs?”

(meanwhile, quistis and steiner, the gym teachers, are watching the basketball team)

Steiner: “That Zidane worries me. He gets more fouls then anyone else on any team.”

Quistis: “I think Squall is cute.”

Steiner: *blink* “What?”

Quistis: “I said…uh…I think Squall is mute. As in he never talks.”

Steiner: “Ah. I see.” *pause* “By the way, have you seen my whistles? They keep disappearing from my office.”

Quistis: *nervously fingers the whistle around her neck* “Uh… I have no idea where they could have gone…”

(the bell rings then, and we see a solemn lark at her locker, with Lizzie. she gathers her books and slams the locker shut. they start to walk to class)

Lizzie: “You didn’t fix your hair today.”

Lark: “I didn’t feel like it.”

Lizzie: “You know, you’ve been acting kind of cold lately.”

Lark: *shrugs*

Lizzie: “What’s wrong?”

Lark: “Nothing.”

(before Lizzie can say anything else, reno comes up behind them both, grinning)

Reno: “Hey, chicks! What’s up?”

Lark: *lifelessly* “Nothing.”

Lizzie: *dully* “Yeah.”

Reno: *frowns* “What’s up with you two? That time of the month?”

Lark: “I’m just not in a good mood, that’s all.”

Reno: “Okay, forget I said anything. You guys going to the dance tonight?”

Lark and Lizzie: “Yeah.”

Reno: “Right on. I’ll see you there. I’m going with Tifa.”

Lark: “You are not.”

Reno: “Aw, snap.” *garden snap*

(they go into the classroom. Lizzie greets laguna cheerfully and reno immediately hits on tifa. lark goes over to sephiroth and barely says hello to him. he barely says hello back. hojo is nowhere in sight.)

Twilight: “Come on! I actually got to class on time today, and he’s not here!”

Nida: *calls* “Professor Hojo! Twilight wants to start class!”

Twilight: “No I don’t, jerk!” *throws his backpack at him*

Nida: “Ow! My thinking head!”

Laguna: “Hey hey! I can’t wait for the dance tonight!”

Lizzie: “It should be okay…for a lame dance.”

Twilight: “Dances suck! I’m only going cause Opal’s dragging me.”

Reeve: “I think it should be interesting.”

Twilight: “That’s cause you like never leave your house cause you’re always studying.”

Reeve: “That’s not true.”

Twilight: “Give me a break, dork. You’ve never even had a girlfriend.”

Reeve: *blushes* “I…uh…don’t need one.”

Lizzie: “Would you leave him alone, Twilight? You’re so damn mean!”

Twilight: “Well I gotta make up for it since Sephiroth got lame!”

(speaking of sephiroth, across the room, he and lark are just sitting there, drumming their fingers on the desk)

Sephiroth: “We’re still going to the dance tonight, right?”

Lark: “If you want to.”

Sephiroth: “I want to go if you do.”

Lark: “Well, I don’t want to force you to go.”

Sephiroth: “You’re right.”

Lark: “Fine, we’ll go.”

(a pause)

Sephiroth: “I love you.”

Lark: “Did Vincent love you?”

Sephiroth: *whispers harshly* “Will you stop with that? I thought we discussed this! It was a year ago. I was a lonely kid, so I seduced him. I practically had to beg him since he was scared he could get fired! And he still can if it gets proven. So be quiet! I don’t want to hurt him.”

Lark: “Because you love him.”

Sephiroth: “I do not!”

(before they can say anything else, a grinning hojo comes into the room, a jewelry box in hand)

Hojo: “As you all know, there is a dance tonight, and I will be chaperoning it. So will Mr. Kuja, who is, as of now, not in his classroom. Now, all of you are to be on your best behavior and act mature and respectful and so on and so forth so that I don’t have to do anything and can pursue him in peace.”

Every single member of the class: *hit themselves in the forehead*

Nida: “I don’t think this has much to do with biology.”

Hojo: “Are you kidding? This has everything to do with biology. And in order for me to be able to study Mr. Kuja’s biology more closely, I’m going to give him this.” *he opens up the box and holds it up to reveal a diamond bracelet*

Class: *looks ill*

Reno: “I think I’m going to be sick…”

Lizzie: “Can’t we report him and get him fired?”

Twilight: “I can at least throw something at him.”

Hojo: “I’m going to go across the hall now, and for the class you will once again observe this intensely interesting and charismatic animal!” *takes the sheet off red’s cage*

Class: *groan*

Red: “I am equally as dismayed.”

(hojo leaves. the class stares at red)

Red: “I hear there is a dance tonight.”

(everyone looks kinda wary, but they kinda nod and mumble ‘yes’)

Red: “I would like to attend.”

Class: *blinks*

Nida: “Um, I don’t think they let things like you in.”

Red: “Why not? I possess more intelligence than any of you.”

Nida: “You do not!! I’m the smartest and bestest guy in the world!”

Red: “I doubt that.”

Nida: “I am so! Try me!”

Red: “You have already proved yourself wrong by using incorrect english.”

Nida: *face falls* “Huh?”

Red: “‘Bestest’ is not a word.”

Nida: “Is so!”

Red: “It is not.”

Nida: “Is so!!!”

Red, Lizzie, Reeve and Sephiroth: “Is *not*.”

Nida: *chin trembles*

Twilight: *grins* “Hey! That thing is cool! It made fun of Nida! Let’s let it out!”

Nida: “NO!!!”

Reno: “Yeah! Let’s!”

Twilight: “Maybe it’ll eat Nida!”

Everyone but Nida: “Hooray!”

Nida: “Hey! I’m gonna tell Principal Rufus!” *gets up and runs out*

(reno and twilight open red’s cage and he jumps up)

Red: “Thank you both. You’re very kind.”

Twilight: “Wow! No one ever called me kind before!”

Reeve: “Where are you going to go now?”

Red: “I shall explore the surrounding area, and then attend the dance tonight.”

Reeve: “Don’t worry Mr…. Cat thing. I’ll make sure you get in. I’m on the G.O.”

Twilight: *cough* “Dork.” *cough*

Red: “My name is Red.”

Laguna: “This’ll make a great news story!”

(the bell rings)

Tifa: “Boy these classes are long!”

Reno: “Tell me about it.” *grin* “How about the dance tonight?”

Tifa: “NO!”

Lark: *grabs her stuff* “See you tonight.”

Sephiroth: “Yeah.”

(she goes to the cafeteria and gets in line, where an unhappy wufei is standing, chin resting on his hand as treize talks to zechs, as usual)

Lark: “………”

Wufei: “Hey, woman.”

Lark: “………”

Wufei: “WOMAN! The great Wufei is speaking to you!”

Lark: *snaps out of a daze* “Huh? Oh, hi Wu-chan.”

Wufei: “What’s with you? Express run out of black clothing?”

Lark: “Nothing’s wrong.” *shakes her head as if to clear it* “What’s the matter? Treize holding up the line as usual?”

Wufei: “Of course! ZECHS!”

Treize: *leaning on the counter* “Today I tried to explain how a camera is like a Gundam, in that they both hold immense power. Because a camera can capture the image of anything, and a Gundam has the ability to destroy. Images of war can be very destructive to the innocent. And the Gundam pilots are very innocent. They’re quite cute too, but not as cute as you, Zechs. You are quite the example of beauty. I should take a picture of you and show it to my class.”

Zechs: *dreamy smile*

Wufei: “ZECHS!”

Zechs: *snaps out of his daze* “What is it now, Wufei?”

Wufei: “I want my cookie!”

Lark: “You’ve moved on to cookies now? What happened with the pretzels?”

Wufei: *points to the last pretzel in treize’s hand*

Treize: “Tonight I must go and chaperone the dance. Would you like to come along? I don’t think I could manage to be seen without your beauty at my side.”

Zechs: *blushes* “I’ll come…”

Wufei: “ZECHS! WUFEI WANTS HIS COOKIE!”

(zechs growls in annoyance and gives wufei his cookie)

Zechs: “Here! Take it and shut up!”

Wufei: “How much–“

Zechs: “JUST GO!”

Wufei: *blinks* “WEAK!” *stomps off*

(lark follows him back to the table where quatre, duo, heero, trowa, Noelle and Ashley are seated, eating lunch)

Noelle: “I can’t wait till the dance tonight!” *cuddles up to quatre* “It’s gonna be great!”

Quatre: “As head of the decorations committee I’m going to make sure the cafeteria looks beautiful! The balloons will be beautiful! The streamers will be beautiful! The floor will be–“

Noelle: “Okay! Shut up! That’s enough!”

Duo: “I hope they play my favorite song.” *starts humming ‘big pimpin’*

Ashley: *rolls her eyes* “Duo, you’re such a poser.”

Trowa: *stabbing his hand with a ballpoint pen* “I wish this was a knife…”

Heero: “Are you going to the dance tonight, Lark?”

Lark: “Yeah. You?”

Heero: “I don’t think so.”

Lark: “Yes you are. I’m making you go.”

Heero: *sigh* “Mission accepted.”

Wufei: “I’m not going! Dances are weak!”

Duo: “That’s because you can’t dance, Wufei.”

Wufei: “Can it, braided boy! Wufei dances fine!”

Lark: “As opposed to you.”

Wufei: “Shut up, woman! You’re weak!”

(the bell rings, and everyone gathers their stuff and gets up)

Noelle: “Geez! Today went so damn slow!”

Ashley: “Tell me about it.”

Lark: “I’ll see you guys at the dance tonight.”

Heero: “Mission accepted.”

Duo: “You said that already, man.”

Heero: “……” *shifty eyes*

(anyway……..we turn to much later. the school is all lit up. the cafeteria has been decorated in the traditional style, and there, serving refreshments is zell and ……twilight??)

Twilight: “This blows. I hate the principal.

Opal: *giggles* “Hi, Twily. Can I have a soda?”

Twilight: “Don’t mock me! I’m the great Twilight XyXia!”

Zell: “You know, if you just paid attention in class–“

Twilight: “Shut up, jerk! You’re a nerd.”

(meanwhile…)

Quatre: “Wow! It turned out more beautiful than I thought it could! It looks beautiful! The room just looks so–“

Noelle: *dragging him to the floor* “Shut up and dance.”

Duo: “Look, Ashley! I’ve been practicing my break dancing!” *demonstrates*

Ashley: *hand to her head* “Oh…help me…”

Trowa: *looking around* “There must be *something* I can puncture a lung on…”

Wufei: *standing against the wall with his arms crossed* “Wufei refuses to dance.”

Heero: *doing the same* “Hm.”

(meanwhile…)

Shell: “Doesn’t my new outfit look great, Rude! Everyone’s admiring me!”

Rude: “Yes, Shell.”

(reno runs over)

Reno: “Hey, buddy! What’s up?”

Rude: “Like Shell’s outfit?”

Reno: “Yeah. It’s fine.”

(rinoa and tifa come over. rinoa is dragging squall)

Rinoa: “Come on, Squall. You spent enough time with your basketball buddies!”

Squall: “Whatever.”

Reno: *grins* “Hey, Tifa. Wanna dance?”

Tifa: “Hmm… Let me think… NO!”

Reno: *garden snap*

(meanwhile…)

Treize: “Ah, look at all these young minds in one place. They are so easy to influence.”

Zechs: “Sometimes you scare me, Treize.”

Treize: *looks at him* “Zechs, my darling, you look radiant, as always.”

Zechs: “Well, I *did* use the banana scented shampoo *and* special rinse.”

Treize: “They make a rinse now?” *zechs nods* “Do tell…”

(meanwhile…)

Zidane: “This dance isn’t so bad.”

Seifer: “It’s worth it just to laugh at chicken wuss!”

Zidane: “Too bad Squall got dragged away by that girlfriend of his. You know, I heard she’s addicted to crack.”

Irvine: “Who cares. She’s hot!”

Zidane: “Hey, Irvine! That’s the only thing you said not related to your own self pity in a week!”

Irvine: *brightens* “Really??”

Zidane: “I told you that the dance would relax you!”

Irvine: *grins* “Yeah!”

Seifer: “Ha ha! Look at chicken wuss give people soda!” *pause* “I’m thirsty.”

(meanwhile…)

Rufus: “Everything seems to be going well.”

Nida: “The freaky cat thing is coming, Principal Rufus! You gotta believe me!”

Rufus: “Now, now, Nida. Were you sniffing things in chem lab today?”

Nida: “No!!! I take bio!! And besides, the cat thing is going to eat me!”

Rufus: “The only thing that’s going to get eaten is that large sandwich over that.” *pause* “I think I’ll go have a piece.” *goes for it*

Nida: *whines* “But Principal Rufus!”

(meanwhile…)

Scarlet: “This stinks! How am I supposed to tell the freshmen and the seniors apart?! All these stupid kids look a like!”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! You’re going to get arrested!”

Scarlet: “Shut up, Heidegger! I’m a professional!”

Heidegger: “Queen of whores! Gya haa haa!”

Scarlet: “Shut up or I’ll get no business at all!” *smacks him*

(meanwhile…)

Barret: *is the dj* “Yo! Let’s pump up da DMX, yo!”

Cid: *also a dj* “@$#%#%^$^&$#&%#$^#@^@#$^@#$^@&!”

(meanwhile…)

Lizzie: “Hmm… I wonder where Lark is. She’s not here yet.”

Laguna: “Hey hey! She’ll come! Now let’s dance! I love this song.”

Lizzie: “No way. I don’t dan–” *laguna starts pulling her towards the dance* “–ce!!!”

(meanwhile… outside the cafeteria, reeve and tseng are selling tickets. no one else is around)

Reeve: “I haven’t seen Elena come in yet, have you?”

Tseng: “Nope.”

Red: “Wait, I hear footsteps.”

(they freeze, but the only thing that comes towards them is red. he comes to the table and peers over the edge)

Red: “Hello.”

Tseng: *blinks*

Reeve: “Hey! You did come! Go right on in!”

Red: “Thank you.” *and he does*

Tseng: *gives reeve a weird look* “Reeve… What was that?”

Reeve: “A very long story.”

Nida’s voice: *from inside the cafeteria* “AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! PRINCIPAL RUFUS!!! IT’S COME TO EAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Red’s voice: “Actually… I would just like some of that large sandwich.”

Tseng: *blinks again* “Uh…okay….”

Reeve: “Shush! I hear footsteps!”

(they look and see elena coming down the hall. reeve and tseng look at one another, panicked)

Tseng: “Well…?”

Reeve: “Do it!”

Tseng: “You do it!”

Reeve: *hisses* “She’s coming closer!”

Tseng: *hisses back* “Don’t wimp out on me, Reeve!”

Reeve: “Me?!?!”

(elena is nearly there now, and tseng totally panics)

Tseng: “Aw, hell–!!” *grabs reeve by the shoulders, and pulls him into a kiss*

(when they draw apart they see elena standing before the table, giving them the weirdest look imaginable. major sweat drops for the both of them)

Reeve: “Um…yeah…” *clears his throat*

Tseng: “I was…um…giving him CPR.”

Reeve: “Right… I have…um…asthma.”

Elena: “Right.” *grabs her ticket and goes inside*

Reeve: “CPR??”

Tseng: “Asthma??”

Both: “…….”

Tseng: “Well, I think I still scared her off.”

(meanwhile, inside, a cranky hojo is hanging out with a not too thrilled vincent…)

Hojo: “Where is Kuja? He said he was coming! After he took my bracelet and all…”

Vincent: *rolls eyes* “Perhaps he was held up at the beauty parlor.”

Hojo: *snaps fingers* “Yes! That must it.”

Vincent: *steps away*

Hojo: “Ah, well. You shall do in the meantime, Vincent.”

Vincent: *runs away*

Hojo: *looks at dust cloud where vincent was* “…Vincent?”

(then kuja comes over, flipping his hair over his shoulder)

Kuja: “This loud music offends my beautiful ears. And these garish decorations offend my fabulous taste.”

Hojo: “Of course they do, my dear. Here you are at last! Did you enjoy my bracelet?”

Kuja: *yawns* “It was satisfactory.”

Hojo: “Satisfactory?!?!”

Kuja: “I’m really more interested in sapphires now.”

Hojo: “Hmmm….”

(meanwhile, lark and sephiroth enter the dance, not looking too thrilled with each other)

Lark: “Well, here we are.”

Sephiroth: “Yup.”  *eyes widen* “Oh, sh*t.”

Lark: “What?”

Sephiroth: “Nothing…” *looks away and tries to hide*

Lark: *spots what he did* “Vincent.”

Sephiroth: “Sh*t.”

Lark: *sets jaw*

Sephiroth: “Let’s get out of here…”

Lark: “No.”

Sephiroth: “Huh?”

Lark: “I can’t take this! I’m not going to rearrange my life because you can’t be in the same room with a past love!”

Sephiroth: “I never loved him!”

Lark: “My ass you didn’t! And you better hope he takes you back, because WE’RE through!” *she turns and stomps out*

(sephiroth stands there, fists clenched, not moving, looking very angry.)

Sephiroth: *boiling with anger* “Grrr…. I HATE YOU ALL!!!”

(everything stops completely and everyone stares at him as he turns and stomps out)

Barret: “…You, what be up wit’ dat?”

Cid: “$%#$^$&%*&%^*$*^$@@!”

Barret: “Yo! You be right, Cid! It be slammin’ time!!”

Time for something else as well, don’t you think?

(and with that, lark’s eyes pop open and she pushes sephiroth’s arm off of her. he’s sound asleep)

Lark: “….Time for a vacation.”

To Be Continued…